-In EDE's thread about Starfinger, I came up with the idea that there should be many Starfingers, as kind of an ongoing joke. Starfinger III kills number two, Starfinger IV is a woman, Starfinger V is a push-over that's defeated in two pages, Starfinger VI is a major thread, Starfinger VII is an alien that leads to an invasion a la Earthwar. Part of the fun would be that each new Starfinger kills the previous one!
-In my thread about LMB stories of the past, EDE came up with "The Bride of MiddleFinger!", by far the most funny!
We thought it would be funny to retro-actively insert Middle Finger into LMB lore, as an ongoing villian that has fought the LMB through the years. Part of the fun is that Middlefinger I was in year one, only to be killed in year two by Middlefinger II, who then fought the LMB!
So, that means there should be five great Middlefinger tales over the years that chronicle the various villians who have held the mantle fighting the LMB!
What happened in those tales?
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
Here's Year One:
"The Bride of Middlefinger!"
Space Tart is captured by Middlefinger aka Shoc Kerr of the planet Kisom. After being hypnotized by him, he steals her off, but not before using his middle finger to shoot a hideous death ray at LMBers Grey Birdboy and Crusader! He plans on keeping this LMB beauty to himself, to make her his bride...before he conquers the whole universe!
Cobalt Kid, Lash Lad, Loser Lad, Beagle Boy, Shady and Lardy fly off to her rescue, planning to take down Middlefinger! After facing a series of obstacles at Middlefinger's Mansion of Mayhem, the LMBers finally get the chance to take him down.
However, Middlefinger is able to use his ray gun to steal away the powers of Beagz, Loser, Lardy, Lash and Cobalt and then has his minions beat them up! Only Shady is able to keep her powers, and she rescues Spacey by using her 'feel good power' to get rid of the hypnotism. With both the LMB femme fatales together, Space Tart and Shadowplay in Candlelight Lass are able to give Middlefinger a walloping!
Special appearance by JWB Boy, Kbern Kid and Blok the pet Rock!
And so ends the first tale of Middlefinger!
What happened in Year Two? Who was Middlefinger II? What LMBers did he fight?
Ideas? I know the continuity pretty well, so I can fill in the details (which LMBers were there, etc.).
I'm dying to hear what EDE comes with next...
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
Was Year Two the year when Starfinger was actually two people? You know... when Lash was kidnapped and placed under mind-control by his then boyfriend Large Handsome, who turned out to be the criminal mastermind who had killed Middlefinger I?
Posted by Loser Lad on :
Cobie if you're doing Year One then Crusader would have to be called Newcru King, complete with his original super-cleaning powers!
Good job remembering JWB Boy too! Wonder whatever happened to him? I remember he posted, saying he needed money to either buy comics or impress a girl. I suggested he get a job (at Burger King?) so he'd have the cash to do both. I don't think I ever saw him around after that.
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
Large Handsome! I'm literally laughing out loud right now, my brother's are looking at me funny!
I'm pretty sure that's what that story occured!
We had to split into two teams to battle them, and try and figure out who was the real Middlefinger! Loser Lad, Princess Crujectra, Dev-Em, Faraway Lad and Shark Lad ended up battling Lash, while LardLad, Kid Therod, Kid Psychout, Lucien Lad and Ample Man fought the real Middlefinger!
During this mission, Space Tart, myself, Mightfanboy Lad and Seahorse had to find and destroy the bomb that Middlefinger had been hidden in the statue of Liberty. Naturally, it was in her middle-finger!
Jeepers! What happened in year three?!
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
Lou, it's been retconned that Newcru was 'Crusader' all along, complete with telekinetic powers. Thus, the sani-fresh, super-cleaning powers have been retconned to have never existed!
Both Newcru and Bellbookcandle Kid have retroactively been named Crusader and Seahorse! Only those of us who have access to the time-stream and the alternate realities are aware of this!
Posted by Loser Lad on :
Ah. See what happens when you miss a couple retcons?!?
I'm still trying to figure out why I woke up this morning with tusks and a power mullet. Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
I thought you'd always looked like that! Gasp! I must not remember the recton! Have I always been a girl?
Posted by Loser Lad on :
I sure as hell hope so! Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
Hm, I'm a guy again. Weird.
*Ahem*, EDE, do you remember what happened when the LMB encountered Middlefinger III?
Posted by Loser Lad on :
$#!&! I lost the tusks but I still have the mullet. What's up with that?!?
Posted by Loser Lad on :
I look like the Super Billy Ray Cyrus of Space!!!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
Hmm... I remember the battle with Middlefinger IV. He was that one with the ring that contained the two female clones of me, so Middlefinger III must have been that fat guy who Dev-Em had once imprisoned on a secret mission for the Anti-Intelligence Corps, and who came back seeking revenge on him, right?
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
Absolutely! I wasn't around for Middlefinger IV, so you'll have to fill me in on what happened there. I'm sure it occured when clones of you seemed to be running rampant!
Middlefinger III was a bald fat guy named Har Pooperton, a former weapons manufacturer that Dev had imprisoned before he was an LMBer.
Seeking revenge on Dev, he supplied a race of gigantic female Super Moby Dicks of Space with laser beams on their foreheads. After killing Middlefinger II in prison, he assumed the Middlefinger name and attacked! He even captured Dev in a lead prison.
During Iron Rat's term as leader, it took the combined might of LardLad, myself, Lash Lad, Faraway Lad, Lucien Lad, Ultra Matt, Looks that Kill Lad, a newly reformed Yellow Kid, Iron Rat, Seahorse and LMB newcomer Poverty Lad to fend off the Super Moby Dicks!
I had just rejoined the LMB after a lengthy absence, and was forced to sit on monitor duty with Grey Birdboy for the duration of the battle! What a bummer!
Shady and Spacey, old enemies of the first Middlefinger, were joined by Homecoming Queen and Crujeckie to break Dev-Em out of the lead prison he was being held in, so Dev could finish off Middlefinger!
Unfortunately, Middlefinger III died in the middle of battle, when he choked on the sun-flower seeds he was eating! We never really found out why he chewed sun-flower seeds...
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
Middlefinger IV must have occured while I was missing in action and presumed dead!
Posted by Future on :
Best retcon ever, guys!
Glad to see you follow through and writing this stuff down for us, Cobie! Keep it up. Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
Hmm... I never knew that about Middlefinger III dying from sunflower seeds! That's interesting since Middlefinger IV actually ran a gang that supplied narcotic sunflower seeds!
Middlefinger struck while most of the LMB was away on a mission to a Fifth Dimension concert (which led into that strange untold altered timeline tale "The Age of Aquarius") and so it was mostly the members of the Light Brigade that took him down that time. That was when Kid Prime and I were both in the LB. Captain Lightbulb came up with this great idea for me to impersonate the original Middlefinger and haunt the new one, who was the brother of his killer, Large Handsome. It was going fairly well, until Middlefinger received an unexpected visit from Lucifer Lass, and she of course saw through my disguise! I don't know what I would have done if Dormant Damsel hadn't saved me!
Anyway, it turned out Middlefinger had discovered this magic ring which somehow contained two female versions of me in it (which is apparently what Lucy was after), and it took the Flasher using his powers at full force just to take one of them down. Robotwoman had to teach the other one some Southern manners while Antler Lass impressed Middlefinger with her giant rack.
Jeepers! That was a zany adventure! But not as crazy as our encouter with Middlefinger V a couple of months ago, during Quislet and Vee's term as leader...
[ August 22, 2004, 04:48 PM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
And what an encounter that was! I can barely put the words together without shuttering in fear...
I have no idea how we all survived it, especially after what happened to you, myself, Vee, Harbinger and Icefyre. It took almost all of Legion World to bring him/it down!
I just remembered that we've entered the sixth year of the LMB recently! That means that a new Middlefinger is bound to attack eventually. Who knows when this will happen!
Posted by MLLASH on :
I knew that Large Handsome was trouble, but I couldn't resist him! *dreamy sigh*
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
It was understandable Lash! Who would have thought that those of us fighting the bogus Middlefinger were actually fighting you?
(Large Handsome has to be one of the funniest names for a LMB baddie yet!)
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Large Handsome! I'm literally laughing out loud right now, my brother's are looking at me funny!![[Confused]](confused.gif)
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