Meringue was involved.
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
I was out of my comfort zone.
Posted by He Who Wanders on :
The Internet crashed.
Posted by Lightning Lad on :
Two words: dangling chads.
Posted by Blockade Boy on :
a butterfly farted in Boston
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
I wasn't expecting the oryx.
Posted by Caliente on :
I didn't listen to the Lorax.
Posted by MLLASH on :
I got it at a big discount because it was "previously used".
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
There was a woman involved.
Posted by Yellow Kid on :
Mistakes were made.
Posted by KryptonKid on :
Oh, you wanted *me* to handle that...?
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
quote:Originally posted by Blockade Boy: a butterfly farted in Boston
The butterfly denies this charge and is filing a complaint of libel.
Posted by Yellow Kid on :
The usual anonymous sources were unavailable for comment at this time.
Posted by Tamper Lad on :
We acknowledge that mistakes were made; however the ultimate responsibility for those mistakes has yet to be determined. I implore you to allow the due diligence of the investigation to conclude before we blame the poor low-ranking intern the will ultimately be deemed responsible for the grave losses that have occurred.
Posted by Thriftshop Debutante on :
I was waiting for the verb.
Posted by Joe-Boy Harvestar on :
There was...some unpleasentness. Icannevergoback.
Posted by Lad Boy on :
Congressional pressure.
Posted by Thriftshop Debutante on :
I still had my shoes on.
Posted by Blockade Boy on :
She refuses to trim her toenails.
Posted by Thriftshop Debutante on :
Overestimated Morse Code fluency.
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
It was partly cloudy.
Posted by Lad Boy on :
The area is prone to temporal anomalies.
Posted by Tamper Lad on :
It was all Karl Rove, I knew nothing.
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
I was completely sober, and therefore had no control over my actions.
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
It started with there being no coffee in the house this morning. Getting into my car to go to Starbucks, I noticed that I was low on gas. Trying to find that gas station with the lower price, I took a turn that lead to the warehouse district. It looked like a garage instead of the hold of a cargo ship when I drove in to get directions. It took a while to get out of my car when those crates were lowered into the hold. The crew of the ship were so nice that I began to help out. Gustav, the third mate, really had to go to the bathroom but couldn't leave the bridge. So I was just holding the cup for him. How was I to know that the Lyberians could see us and that it was a crime in their country?
Posted by Lad Boy on :
I didn't know he/it was a protean.
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
He was wearing his lucky red shirt.
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
There was an I Love Lucy marathon on TV Land.
Posted by Yellow Kid on :
The video is on YouTube.
Posted by Set on :
Mistakes were made, in an organization of 1700 people, I can't be expected to know every single little organizational detail, and in any case, this job is *really, really hard,* and all of these nasty questions are making my wife cry.
You people think you have the facts with all these polls and statistics and scientific consensus? I have completely different facts, to which you are not privy, and they tell me that I am right. Trust me. You're not cleared to know why, but I'm right.
Posted by Thriftshop Debutante on :
The trees obscured the forest. Posted by Thriftshop Debutante on :
There's a carpark where the Palais used to stand.
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
My cold cereal was getting soggy.
Posted by Thriftshop Debutante on :
Sometimes hipness is what it ain't. Posted by Ram Boy on :
He looked like Chris O'Donnell and threw me attitude.
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
The body was still warm; I didn't know she was dead.
Posted by Pov on :
He's a necrofreak! Necrofreak! He's necro-freaky, OW! Posted by Thriftshop Debutante on :
One dollar and other valuable consideration.
Posted by wndola1 on :
Diamonds trucks were stuck in the big Colorado snowstorm
Posted by Thriftshop Debutante on :
Inadequate spork supply.
Posted by walkwithcrowds on :
Because!
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
There was cake.
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
There was a backup on the freeway.
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Someone farted.
Posted by walkwithcrowds on :
It was Saturday night...I had allready had a few drinks...we went to a club...the darkened room...the rhytmically, pounding music...the flashing lights...all those young, thrusting, sweating bodies, pressing up against me...the stifling heat...hands and lips everywhere...and ...and...OOOOOOOOHHH!!!
Posted by Lad Boy on :
I didn't know he was your boyfriend.
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
He said he'd get me on the Jerry Springer show.
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
I knew they'd only be coming back for more
Posted by Reboot on :
Oh dear...
Posted by Lard Lad on :
I forgot my chastity belt...
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
Lardy has a chastity belt? ...It must be in its original packaging so as not to ruin its eBay value...
Posted by Language Arts Lad on :
I ran outta gas! I had a flat tire! I didn't have enough money for cab fare! My tux didn't come back from the cleaners! An old friend came in from outta town! Someone stole my car! There was an earthquake! A terrible flood! Locusts!! It wasn't my fault I swear to God!!!
Posted by The Royal Inquisitor on :
Sometimes in order to clean you've just gotta kill
Posted by Thriftshop Debutante on :
Fan dancers from Yonkers.
Posted by Caliente on :
I don't want to name names but... *looks pointedly at a group of cheerleaders*
Posted by Lard Lad on :
I had Irritable Bowl Syndrome that night.
Posted by lil'rhino on :
I was trying to lose weight & I thought that line of sweet and low was actually diet coke!
Posted by Leap Year Lass on :
One (1) Batgirl "Pepsi Super Series" glass and much pink bubble wrap.
Posted by Lard Lad on :
A pair of naked feet.
Posted by Cobaltus Primus Augustus on :
I saw the mask and wanted to turn Fido into Ace.
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
They were out of cream soda.
Posted by LardLad on :
Crujectra's implants were filled with chum.....
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
Hobbits with jetpacks.
Posted by Arm Fall Off Boy on :
There was a masked man and some guy calling him "Kemosabe" arguing 1) over political correctness and 2)a bean burrito.
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
I was out of sugar.
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
He just kept going on and on and on about "The Hills".
Posted by Set on :
I have a medical condition that prevents me from saying 'no' to offers of sexual misconduct. Stop persecuting me for my disability!
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
It wasn't an erection. I really did have a pineapple in my pants!
Posted by Monkey Eater Lad on :
There was a planned company-wide crossover/reboot on the books.
Posted by SharkLad on :
I ate too many Twinkies ...
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
there were too many ceejes out on the terace.
Posted by cleome on :
It was the Cancellite ! All I wanted was one little kiss and she nailed me with the bleeping CANCELLITE !!
Posted by LardLad on :
He thought the breakfast cereal was called "Fellatio's".
Posted by Yellow Kid on :
I didn't know she was married!!
Posted by Arm Fall Off Boy on :
I didn't see the "You must be this tall to ride this ride" sign.
Posted by Yellow Kid on :
Did I say that out loud?
Posted by LardLad on :
Puce Kryptonite
Posted by Lad Boy on :
Wardrobe Malfunction
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
It was my running mate's fault.
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
The sun was in my eyes.
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
AFOB stole my flag!
Posted by cleome on :
They didn't USED to be closed on Sundays !
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
The devil made me do it.
Posted by Abin Quank on :
It was raining yesterday...
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
Keith Giffen killed my best friend!
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
I had to stop at Target to buy some new socks.
Posted by Arm Fall Off Boy on :
Had to go to Walmart because someone bought the last pair of my favorite socks at Target.
Posted by Lad Boy on :
I didn't know it was socks-required event.
Posted by Arm Fall Off Boy on :
Had to re-send the memo to all LMB'ers about the socks-required event.
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
Somebody stuffed a sock in my mouth.
Posted by cleome on :
mr cleome took the last pair of clean socks.
Posted by Set on :
I just thought it would scare her, I didn't know she had a heart condition!
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
Elvis did it!
Posted by Arm Fall Off Boy on :
Black ice on the road. Gets 'em every time.
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
They were laughing at me.
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
People were paying too much attention to those pesky "facts."
Posted by cleome on :
I couldn't make any more payments after they jacked up the interest.
Posted by Arm Fall Off Boy on :
Too many Tribbles. Couldn't get out of my house.
Posted by LardLad on :
Expected government bailout of sinking boat.
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
I had cookies in the oven.
Posted by Arm Fall Off Boy on :
I was waiting for Santa.
Posted by dedman on :
My cats were lonely.
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
It's what the voices in my head said to do.
Posted by Set on :
It was self-defense!
Uh, pre-emptive self-defense?
Posted by LardLad on :
Because Dream Girl predicted it!
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
The instructions were written in Dutch.
Posted by Arm Fall Off Boy on :
I didn't have a puppysitter.
Posted by cleome on :
I never dreamed that the Times might fabricate a story.
Posted by dedman on :
I was abducted by a dancing nun
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
There were mashed potatoes.
Posted by cleome on :
My keyboard's space bar keepsticking.
Posted by LardLad on :
Couldn't find any matching pairs of socks.
Posted by Arm Fall Off Boy on :
It was all my kids' fault.
Posted by Exnihil on :
Everybody else was jumping off the bridge...
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
I was going to cross the bridge, but suddenly I saw all these people jumping off it.
Posted by Arm Fall Off Boy on :
I was about to , but then I got a call over the radio about people jumping off a bridge.
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
I was minding my own business fishing in the river when all of a sudden it started raining people!
Posted by Set on :
I was only joking when I said that I saw a million dollars in gold doubloons in the water under the bridge. I didn't think they'd believe me!
Posted by LardLad on :
Dude, I never thought he'd actually go through with that joke I suggested!
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
It was the Twinkie!
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
I know some strange people.
Posted by cleome on :
I don't know enough strange people.
Posted by LardLad on :
Strangers offered me candy.
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
I was buying candy to give out.
Posted by LardLad on :
We sold out all of our Twizzlers.
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
Lard Lad injured me with his Feet Vision!
Posted by cleome on :
Lard Lad forgot to put me on the guest list !
Posted by Yellow Kid on :
My dog ate my homework.
Posted by cleome on :
I didn't know that cheesecake was supposed to be for the party !
Posted by Arm Fall Off Boy on :
I didn't know there WAS a party!
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
I didn't know I was supposed to invite AFOB!
Posted by cleome on :
That arm left in the punchbowl didn't HAVE contact info on it !
Posted by LardLad on :
All I needed was an arm to give that punch just the right flavour....
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
The local theatre company was performing Shaw's Arms and the Man.
Posted by Set on :
I didn't know that his other limbs weren't supposed to come off...
Posted by Arm Fall Off Boy on :
I was listening to Patsy Cline's "I Fall to Pieces"...
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
I didn't know AFOB's C-notes were counterfeit!
Posted by cleome on :
C-notes ?! I thought you meant B-Notes !!
Posted by dedman on :
...the dog ate my homework!
Posted by LardLad on :
The dog ate his detachable arms.
Posted by Arm Fall Off Boy on :
My dog died from eating too much LARD!
Posted by cleome on :
The "Lard" turned out to be made entirely of-- SOY !!
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
But the Surgeon General said it was okay!
Posted by Arm Fall Off Boy on :
Because I found out he's a Surgeon but not really a General.
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
It was a war zone.
Posted by LardLad on :
Everybody was doin' it!
Posted by cleome on :
Somebody had to do it.
Posted by LardLad on :
No one else was gonna.
Posted by Arm Fall Off Boy on :
The flying monkeys did it!
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
It was laughing at me.
Posted by LardLad on :
The monster under my bed demanded a sacrifice!
Posted by Exnihil on :
They called me, "CHICKEN!" Posted by cleome on :
I read page 21 of the Rock, Paper, Scissors thread and was never the same again.
Posted by cleome on :
But I HATE doing the Macarena !
Posted by LardLad on :
Drank the Kool Aid.
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
I was trapped in a room in which Thomas Kinkade prints were projected on the wall while Celine Dion was played over and over.
Posted by Arm Fall Off Boy on :
There was a football game on!
Posted by cleome on :
I overslept.
Posted by LardLad on :
My fap time was interrupted!
Posted by Arm Fall Off Boy on :
It was Saturday, and I just didn't feel like it.
Posted by cleome on :
I had to leave and go look up the word "fap."
Posted by Yellow Kid on :
I lost the link.
Posted by LardLad on :
quote:Originally posted by cleome:I had to leave and go look up the word "fap."
I was too busy worrying about whether I'd traumatized Cleome.
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
quote:Originally posted by Rockhopper Lad: I was trapped in a room in which Thomas Kinkade prints were projected on the wall while Celine Dion was played over and over.
(after that experience, Rocky is excused for anything!)
I was delayed by the Publishers' Clearinghouse Prize Patrol.
Posted by cleome on :
I felt bad about worrying Lardy.
Posted by Arm Fall Off Boy on :
Had to bail Lardy out of jail for fapping in public.
Posted by dedman on :
Got drunk
Posted by cleome on :
Couldn't afford to get drunk. :/
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
Gave all my money to Cleome
Posted by dedman on :
Busy Guvernating
Posted by LardLad on :
Couldn't get over AFOB's audacity in not italicizing 'fapping'!
Posted by Arm Fall Off Boy on :
Had to wash my hands after typing fapping. Posted by Fat Cramer on :
It was a war zone.
Posted by Lad Boy on :
Tamper Lad assured me there was no legal or moral conflict involved.
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
It was snowing.
Posted by cleome on :
Couldn't decide between pancakes and waffles.
Posted by dedman on :
Ran out of gas.
Posted by LardLad on :
Scarlet fever.
Posted by Lad Boy on :
I was assured that it was all going to be retconned out of existence by the end of the year.
Posted by cleome on :
Picked the wrong week to try the All-Peanut-Butter Diet.
Posted by Arm Fall Off Boy on :
Was pre-ordering my copy of "Mein Inkampfitence" by Dan DiDio.
Posted by LardLad on :
Fatal case of bedhead.
Posted by dedman on :
as I said before....I was/am drunk what can i say, it happens a lot
Posted by SharkLad on :
Ringworm ...
Posted by LardLad on :
Lyme disease.
Posted by Arm Fall Off Boy on :
Was out buying antifungal cream.
Posted by cleome on :
Still sketching, plus the cat hid my eraser and the lights keep going out.
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
Dedman was supposed to govern it.
Posted by Arm Fall Off Boy on :
I DON'T HAVE TO EXPLAIN MYSELF! LEAVE ME ALONE!
Posted by dedman on :
...had to change the kitty litter
Posted by Yellow Kid on :
I drank too much at Dedman's wedding.
Posted by Arm Fall Off Boy on :
...was upset I didn't get invited to Dedman's wedding.
Posted by LardLad on :
...was too busy crashing Dedman's wedding.
Posted by cleome on :
Failed to set off the Metal detector and was barred from Dedman's wedding.
Posted by cleome on :
Couldn't find my lucky baseball cap.
Posted by cleome on :
Also, I wasn't informed about the pistachio recall until today. Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
I was distracted by cleome's cannon scandal.
Posted by cleome on :
I had to appear on 60 Minutes with mr_cleome and explain about the cannon and stuff...
Posted by Abin Quank on :
I had diarrhea... I missed it because... well... you know...
Posted by LardLad on :
TSB (Terminal Sperm Build-up)
Posted by Abin Quank on :
Gaahggaa... Must scrub mind clean of that image...
Posted by SharkLad on :
I had a splinter ...
Posted by Arm Fall Off Boy on :
Forgot this thread was here. My apologies, thread.
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
Was too busy being flirtatious.
Posted by SharkLad on :
I.B.S.
Posted by cleome on :
Had the AAA at-home season opener to attend.
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
I was thrown off by the awful feng shui of the new Yankee Stadium.
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
I had to turn down the car radio to figure what that odor was.
Posted by Yk on :
Crujectra dropped her pencil.
Posted by cleome on :
None of the available instruments were designed for Lefties.
Posted by Arm Fall Off Boy on :
I dozed off.
Posted by Yk on :
Oh. Was that today?
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
Hiccups.
Posted by cleome on :
Forgot to plug in the answering machine.
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
Dance break!
Posted by ActorLad on :
It's not in my job description!
Posted by cleome on :
The drawbridge was up!
Posted by Arm Fall Off Boy on :
I just wasn't in the mood.
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
There was a beagle tummy that needed rubbing.
Posted by rouge on :
I was off-world and my robot duplicate malfunctioned.
Posted by cleome on :
Tripped on my shoelace. Posted by Abin Quank on :
The "I can't believe this thread is still on page one" thread...
Oh Wait...
Posted by cleome on :
Quank called the cops on me again.
Posted by Arm Fall Off Boy on :
I overslept.
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
Held up by three guys dressed as hobbits.
Posted by LardLad on :
My manboobs became sentient. Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
I was oddly intrigued by the concept of sentient manboobs. Posted by cleome on :
Giggled myself into a severe case of hiccups, after misreading the above as "sentient man-baobabs."
[ahem]
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
Soft shoulder.
Posted by Arm Fall Off Boy on :
Potholes. Turns out there's no drugs involved.
Posted by LardLad on :
Didn't know it was slippery when wet.
Posted by cleome on :
Left the shopping list at home on the kitchen counter.
Posted by cleome on :
Didn't want to miss the bus my first day back at work.
Posted by Stealth on :
The road was blocked by pink elephants trampling some ugly skinny guy in a horrible mustard-colored suit & tie.
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
Earwax.
Posted by cleome on :
Dinner was burning.
Posted by Zardi, the Eternal Man on :
I felt like it.
Posted by cleome on :
Nightcrawler said I could.
Posted by Zardi, the Eternal Man on :
It ran into the road...
Posted by cleome on :
Stuck in the Nineties without a map.
Posted by Stealth on :
Stuck in the Eighties without inhibitions.
Posted by Zardi, the Eternal Man on :
Stuck in the nineties without pants...
Posted by Stealth on :
(Zardi is Pov's ancestor??)
Stuck in the seventies in hideous clothes...
Posted by Zardi, the Eternal Man on :
Stuck in the sixties with cheap drugs...
Posted by Set on :
Stuck in the middle with you...
Posted by Zardi, the Eternal Man on :
Stuck in the middle of you...
Posted by cleome on :
Stuck like velcro-flavored chewing gum in a glue factory.
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
Stuck in the 50's with Organization Men.
Posted by Stealth on :
Glue, glue, glue, glue, gluuuuuuuuuuuue.
Posted by cleome on :
Dead broke and damn surly. Posted by cleome on :
Allergies gone amuck. Posted by Lad Boy on :
I was caught up in the irrational exuberance of it all.
Posted by Stealth on :
I was hoping it would be EVEN MORE garish!
Posted by Lardi the Incorruptible on :
There was an evil monkey living in my closet.
Posted by Set on :
I thought that's where it was supposed to go...
Posted by Lardi the Incorruptible on :
I put it together even though the kit was missing a few pieces.
Posted by Set on :
The nurse said it was a sample...
Posted by cleome on :
I didn't know you were saving it for the party, I swear! [hic!]
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
We need more Calgon!
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
My religion forbids stopping for red lights today.
Posted by cleome on :
The weather was terrible. Just terrible. Posted by Stealth on :
A giant green cat with blue polka dots ran in front of my car.
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
I was preoccupied with celebrating my divorce.
Posted by cleome on :
It needed salt.
Posted by Lardi the Incorruptible on :
My wife turned to salt.
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
I was swallowed by a whale.
Posted by Lardi the Incorruptible on :
I was dead at the time.
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
She was dead at the time. Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
I left my Carmex at home.
Posted by cleome on :
Unearthed another batch of clones.
Posted by Lardi the Incorruptible on :
I was a Black Lantern when it happened.
Posted by Stealth on :
I was busy cutting off my pinkie as part of a ceremony to "marry" my love.
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
There were Pepperidge Farm cookies.
Posted by Stealth on :
And farm-fresh milk.
Yum.
Posted by Lad Boy on :
I really thought brown was the new black.
Posted by cleome on :
Car got towed.
Posted by cleome on :
Pepperidge Farm forgot. Those dirty rotten liars. Posted by Lad Boy on :
That's just the way we always did it back home.
Posted by Lardi the Incorruptible on :
A momentary lapse of reason.
Posted by He Who Wanders on :
I had the swine flu.
Posted by Lardi the Incorruptible on :
I thought it was just another brick in the Wall.
Posted by cleome on :
It landed on the floor face down.
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
Fluffernutter break!
Posted by He Who Wanders on :
Insufficient funds.
Posted by Lardi on :
Erection lasted longer than four hours.
Posted by He Who Wanders on :
(Hm. Maybe that explains why your Captain Marvel avatar looks like he's about to burst.)
Posted by cleome on :
[ahem]
I turned my back for just a second!
Posted by Stealth on :
JELLYFISH!
Posted by cleome on :
RED TIDE!! Posted by Stealth on :
Red skies.
Oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh.
Posted by cleome on :
Was down on the farm with Cy Curnin and lost track of time.
Posted by Stealth on :
I spent way too long trying to turn back time.
Posted by Lardi on :
A mixture of bird flu and swine flu.
Posted by cleome on :
Broken shoelace.
Posted by He Who Wanders on :
Didn't you get the email?
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
Homemade chicken parmigiana!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
There was a potato famine.
Posted by cleome on :
The mice got it.
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
Noel Gallagher quit.
Posted by cleome on :
Mine collapse.
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
There was a knot in one of my shoelaces.
Posted by cleome on :
The pilot light blew out.
Posted by Lardi on :
There was a soup in my fly.
Posted by Stealth on :
The milk had nasty cream stuff on top. Posted by Lardi on :
An abundance of butterscotch.
Posted by cleome on :
Time zone change. Posted by cleome on :
Still too cold out for boob windows. Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
Exnihil hijacked me to Iceland!
Posted by cleome on :
The cat downloaded it by walking across the keyboard!
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
The keyboard downloaded it by walking across the cat!
Posted by cleome on :
"He" didn't want me just because I killed somebody and I can't change shape!
Posted by cleome on :
But... I'm not even Irish! Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
Another Legion Worlder came for a visit.
Posted by Stealth on :
It's a long story involving fresh fish, pornography, and the Catholic church.
Posted by cleome on :
Ran out of fish stories.
Posted by Stealth on :
There's something fishy about Cleome's claim.
Posted by cleome on :
Fished for a better excuse, but the line had knots.
Posted by Stealth on :
"And it went, and it went, with an 'Oooooooh.' "
Posted by dedman on :
My car was making funny noises
Posted by Stealth on :
My car was singing opera.
Posted by cleome on :
Lobo showed up. I hate Lobo. Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
I had to download Firefox 3.6.
Posted by cleome on :
Cats woke me up before the alarm clock.
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
I know the words to all the Irish songs--I had to stay until they played them all at least twice.
Posted by Dev Em on :
My fish were up sick all night...
Posted by Lardi on :
Had to attend the funeral for Dev's fish.
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
It smelled like Dev's dead fish. Posted by Dev Em on :
Had to drive Lardi home from the buriel service.
Posted by Stealth on :
Don't talk to me about love!
Posted by Dev Em on :
I was listening to the paint dry.
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
She'd never made out with anyone when she was drunk before and it was a night for firsts!
Posted by Lardi on :
something about a girl...
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
Neither of us ever lived in a co-ed dorm before...it was inevitable.
Posted by Zardi, the Eternal Man on :
They were both young and stupid, a condition which happily no longer needs to be remedied.
Posted by dedman on :
I had to finish the next chapter first
Posted by Dev Em on :
the dog ate my excuse.
Posted by dedman on :
The cat was lonely
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
Lardi didn't close the blinds first.
Posted by Dev Em on :
Dirty Diaper. On the little baby...pervs.
Posted by Stealth on :
He used a bad pick-up line.
Posted by dedman on :
I dropped a cardboard box on my foot
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
I had oysters and she had chocolate.
Posted by Stealth on :
I had gourmet deep-fried Twinkies with raspberry sauce* and he had just plain Twinkies.
*There actually is such a thing!
Posted by dedman on :
...someone peed in the pool
Posted by Stealth on :
...someone pooed in Pippi's parking lot.
Posted by dedman on :
someone cut pippi's longstocking Posted by Lardi on :
she got her chocolate in my peanut butter
Posted by dedman on :
someone "double-dipped"
Posted by cleome on :
White chocolate isn't even chocolate. C'mon! Posted by He Who Wanders on :
It's snowing, again! Posted by Lardi on :
Those damn campers just wouldn't effin' quit singing "Kumbaya"!!! Posted by cleome on :
The Dollar is still in free-fall.
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
They used to tease her son Jason and they were just a bunch of fornicating teenagers.
Posted by dedman on :
We ran out of condoms
Posted by cleome on :
The phone was ringing.
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
It was Mayday and the crops failed last year; the elder deities needed a sacrifice.
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
Freshly ground peanut butter!
Posted by Gruertis Nyebif on :
It's hard to pick which one to post to!
Posted by Stealth on :
Too much top spin.
Posted by cleome on :
Too much Top Ramen.
Posted by Officer Taylor on :
Too much cowbell.
Posted by Stealth on :
The cows wouldn't moo-oo-oove out of the way.
Posted by cleome on :
Not pregnant. For the third time so far this year. Posted by dedman on :
just....so.....tired
Posted by Dev Em on :
quote:Originally posted by cleome: Not pregnant. For the third time so far this year.
"..."
Posted by Officer Taylor on :
forgot that the "i" comes before the "e"....except after "c"
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
We'd just driven around this town and let the cops chase us around
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
Golden Girls marathon on the Hallmark Channel.
Posted by Stealth on :
She's not actually European royalty, but an American spy.
Posted by dedman on :
There was a fly in my soup
Posted by cleome on :
There was soup on my fly.
Posted by Abin Quank on :
I was looking out the Buttocks Windows when I saw it.
Posted by Stealth on :
I was TPing Abin's Buttocks Windows.
Posted by dedman on :
I didn't get a raise
Posted by cleome on :
The tape gun didn't work right.
Posted by Officer Taylor on :
too much MSG
Posted by dedman on :
...couldn't find a getaway driver
Posted by cleome on :
Who knew that cats would eat tofu?
Posted by Officer Taylor on :
had fleas...down yonder
Posted by dedman on :
I was attacked by a herd of lygers
Posted by Officer Taylor on :
chigger attack!!!
Posted by cleome on :
The notary never showed up.
Posted by cleome on :
Ran out of beard storage space.
Posted by Dev Em on :
ran out of gas.
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
she laughed at my jokes and complimented the shirt I was wearing.
Posted by Officer Taylor on :
I was with Stupid
Posted by Dev Em on :
was secretely following Lardy and Cobie around.
Posted by cleome on :
forgot to call before closing time, then their mailbox was full.
Posted by Dingleberry Damsel on :
Explosive diarrhea.
Posted by KryptonKid on :
lost the receipt
Posted by cleome on :
the machine ate my dollar! Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
We said no questions.
Posted by Gruertis Nyebif on :
The sentient was counting cards
Posted by Officer Taylor on :
Well, there was this man from Nantucket....
Posted by Dev Em on :
Lardy was getting a lap dance...
Posted by Officer Taylor on :
Someone put ants in Pov's pants...
Posted by cleome on :
The search engine timed out.
Posted by Officer Taylor on :
I wasn't feeling the character's motivation.
Posted by Dingleberry Damsel on :
Molotov cocktails.
Posted by Officer Taylor on :
a match to burn
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
Dan Didio's account was hacked.
Posted by Lad Boy on :
Spellcheck was disabled
Posted by He Who Wanders on :
I didn't check my email.
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
Those meddling kids!
Posted by cleome on :
I had to soak my feet.
Posted by Dev Em on :
I had to give Cleome a foot rub.
Posted by cleome on :
mr_cleome didn't understand about the foot-rub incident.
Posted by Dev Em on :
Hurt myself jumping out the window, but it was worth it.
Posted by Officer Taylor on :
My buddy turned out to be a lizard-alien.
Posted by cleome on :
My buddy turned out to be a time-lost Allen Funt masquerading as a lizard-alien.
Posted by Lad Boy on :
A lizard-alien was rubbing my feet
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
She told me a sad story
Posted by cleome on :
Lost the color swatches.
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
brought color swatches to a black-and-white event.
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
I really wanted to get close to a volcano.
Posted by cleome on :
They planted it on me, Man!!
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
It feels better without one
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
I needed to decompress.
Posted by Jerry on :
I was looking for something in Alan Moore's beard.
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
Betty White was hosting SNL!
Posted by Officer Taylor on :
I was busy appearing in internet porn.
Posted by cleome on :
Cottonmouth! Ugh. Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
We were trying to remake "battlefield Earth".
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
I had to give all my time and money to the Scientologist movement.
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
Amazon charged extra for shipping.
Posted by Officer Taylor on :
The item I'd been watching on eBay was about to end!
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
The Cheez Whiz was stuck on the ceiling.
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
It was raining olive oil.
Posted by cleome on :
Miner reminded me of the Alpha Band's total awesomeness, so I had to leave early and go play their first LP again.
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
I was basking in my newfound awesomeness by association.
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
My medical plan didn't cover the embalming.
Posted by Officer Taylor on :
I couldn't stop talking to people in Death Metal voice.
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
The Cannibal Corpse tickets were free.
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
Opeth didn't need an autoharp player after all.
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
The Great-N-Powerful Ram Boy had heard enough before I got to ask my question. Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
Mother Superior jumped the gun.
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
Father McKenzie was too busy writing sermons.
Posted by cleome on :
I kept mishearing "sermon" as "salmon."
Posted by cleome on :
Then I posted about it in the wrong thread.
[self]----> <----[self]
Posted by Abin Quank on :
I just plain, flat out, didn't feel like it!
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
I was at the zoo when the alarm rang out, and my flight ring was still at the pawn shop in Cleveland.
Posted by Officer Taylor on :
Was too busy speculating about Mean Mister Mustard and Polythene Pam.
Posted by Fanfic Lass on :
Was too busy writing a song about washing machines.
Posted by Dev Em on :
I didn't care enough to ssend the very best.
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
You filled me with inertia.
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
it's all the 'liberal' media's fault.
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
Scared Americans are prone to do stupid things.
Posted by dedman on :
New game release day, too busy
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
I had to bail Quis out of jail.
Posted by Officer Taylor on :
Was distraught because someone "un-friended" me on Facebook.
Posted by Kent on :
Fanfic Lass flashed me and I was stunned.
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
I was too busy unfriending people on Facebook.
Posted by cleome on :
Hailstones
Kidney stones
Gallstones
Click Here For A SpoilerGall, and a whole lot of it Posted by cleome on :
Rolling blackouts
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
I was looking for more threads to bump so I could hit a milestone tonight.
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
I'm just a follower at heart.
Posted by cleome on :
Was up all night frying herring for Rocky's victory party.
Posted by Lad Boy on :
I thought it was non-alcoholic beer.
Posted by Zardi, the Eternal Man on :
Someone spiked the punch.
Wasn't me, I'd never do something like that.
Posted by cleome on :
Was grossed out when I saw the cat eat a housefly. Posted by cleome on :
Plus, my French is terrible. Posted by Kent on :
I thought it was cleome's turn to walk the hyenas.
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
The caffeine wore off.
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
Trashing his Denney's was a nonviolent way to get revenge.
Posted by cleome on :
Bug bites!
Posted by Kent on :
I ran out of Pringles.
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
My doctor said I wasn't getting enough saturated fat in my diet.
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
I thought it would at least lead to a question to pester Miner with.
Posted by Kent on :
There was a Jeffersons marathon on TV.
Posted by cleome on :
Ran out of inane questions. Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
The inane questions just. Would. Not. Stop.
Posted by cleome on :
The dockworkers' strike is holding up this season's shipment of inanity.
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
Not enough rain.
Posted by cleome on :
Flash floods!
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
Flash photography.
Posted by cleome on :
Another Oldies binge.
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
I was too sober to know any better.
Posted by lil'rhino on :
The moon was in the 7th house.
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
My horoscope mentioned ninjas.
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
Jupiter aligned with Mars.
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
The Beagle Boys broke into the vault again.
Posted by Kent on :
I got a phone call from Al, and I was stuck.
Posted by cleome on :
Valu-Mart had a sale on powdered donuts.
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
I thought Lemoncello was a musical instrument.
Posted by cleome on :
I thought Mbira was an exotic beverage.
Posted by dedman on :
I couldn't find the wings on a Buffalo
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
I had 40,000 Headmen on my trail.
Posted by MLLASH on :
Chris Carmack was in tighty whiteys.
Posted by cleome on :
Server issues caused all mentions of Chris Carmack to be replaced by footage of Bobby Short!
Posted by MLLASH on :
And then the universe exploded.
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
They closed all the Krispy Kremes in my city.
Posted by cleome on :
Had a prior appointment to help picket Starbucks.
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
It was Free RPG Day.
Posted by Thriftshop Debutante on :
Boogaloo dudes.
Posted by cleome on :
Didn't want the ice cream to melt!
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
They were out of Chocolate Key Lime Hazelnut.
Posted by cleome on :
Not to mention antacid.
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
There was a sale on Mocha Fudge Dill Pickle Chip Ripple.
Posted by cleome on :
The sunblock had an insufficient SPF.
[ June 27, 2010, 01:19 PM: Message edited by: cleome ]
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
They were free
Posted by cleome on :
Somebody called the cops.
Posted by Kent on :
The elevator buttons didn't work (that actually happened to me yesterday!).
Posted by cleome on :
The escalator was being repaired.
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
The threat level was Chartreuse.
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
Then I walked into the wasps' nest...
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
We forgot to lie properly.
Posted by Sarcasm Kid on :
I was in traction.
Posted by He Who Wanders on :
It's too hot out. (Actually, true . . .)
Posted by Sarcasm Kid on :
I was six centimeters dilated.
Posted by Jerry on :
I was SK's midwife.
Posted by Sarcasm Kid on :
I had to restart Sister Jeraldine's heart with the down power lines.
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
It was cold and lonely in the deep dark night
Posted by Kent on :
Meatloaf's lawsuit against Cobie distracted me.
Posted by cleome on :
I had to mediate when both Meatloaf and Cobie were vying for Kent's hand in marriage.
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
You were out of coffee.
Posted by Cobaltus on :
Meatloaf's daughter is married to Scott Ian from Anthrax
Posted by Kent on :
Thora stole my seat.
Posted by Thriftshop Debutante on :
a. I ain't got the time. b. My daddy thinks I'm fine.
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
We couldn't tell if it was bad meat or good cheese.
Posted by cleome on :
We had MOVIE SIGN!!
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
I was busy celebrating my fifth anniversary on Legion World and in the LMB! Posted by cleome on :
I had to slip a celebratory Reeses™ peanut butter cup under Rocky's door in the dead of night.
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
You were always on my mind.
Posted by Kent on :
I thought of you the whole time.
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
quote:Originally posted by cleome: I had to slip a celebratory Reeses™ peanut butter cup under Rocky's door in the dead of night.
Oooh! My favorite! Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
The DAT skipped.
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
I was imagining you having sex.
Posted by Kent on :
Danny Bonaduce borrowed the car.
Posted by Chief Taylor on :
Distracted by moobs.
Posted by cleome on :
Busy turning CT back to the path of righteousness.
Posted by Chief Taylor on :
Chasing too many lost causes. Posted by Kent on :
Chief's cage was too dirty.
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
The arena combats to determine who would clean the cage took some time.
Posted by cleome on :
Ingrown toenail.
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
The Solid Gold Dancers did a reunion tour.
Posted by cleome on :
Somebody got chocolate in the peanut butter and peanut butter in the chocolate again.
Posted by BatBoy on :
Not enough fiber
Posted by Kent on :
My old football injury was acting up again.
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
The water was hotter than I expected.
Posted by Red Arrow on :
The politics are nasty.
Posted by Chief Taylor on :
Some man from Nantucket started some commotion.
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
The genie from the Fiber Plus bars commercial showed up.
Posted by Kent on :
...with Snackwells faerie Colin Mochrie.
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
Neptune broke orbit.
Posted by Kent on :
Neptune broke wind.
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
Neptune turned out to be some guy from Nantucket.
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
The guy from Nantucket came close to Uranus.
Posted by Kent on :
The guy from Nantucket was fondling Venus.
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
The guy from Nantucket was smacked upside the head by Martha from the Vineyard.
Posted by Kent on :
The guy from Nantucket was caught stuffing his Cape Codpiece.
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
The Caped Codpiece sued for copyright infringement.
Posted by Chief Taylor on :
Eating the Miracle Machine gave me indigestion.
Posted by Fanfic Lass on :
I blamed the radio for Nickelback's lameness and smashed it to pieces. Poor innocent radio, what did it ever do to me? Posted by Thriftshop Debutante on :
Deeply unfortunate typo on CV
Posted by Sarcasm Kid on :
I have no idea what I'm doing.
Posted by cleome on :
Had to spend my last twenty buying FL a new radio.
Posted by Fanfic Lass on :
Had to return the twenty dollars to Cleome, as I don't want to endanger another innocent radio.
Posted by cleome on :
There was fresh-sliced, ice cold melon.
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
The ice weasels came.
Posted by Fanfic Lass on :
Someday, I'll live in an ice cream castle in the sky.
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
Someone needed another excuse to say "Nosferatu".
Posted by Fanfic Lass on :
To quote MST3K, "It's NURSE-FERATU!" Posted by Kent on :
Quis was in court all day, taking care of another... (wait for it)... hung jury.
Posted by Fanfic Lass on :
The Hanging Judge from the DePatie Freleng cartoons got caught on a wire hanger in my closet.
Posted by Chief Taylor on :
An energy crisis and a Flock of Seagulls. That's about it.
Posted by Kent on :
Folk music almost caught on again. Another close call.
Posted by cleome on :
Still couldn't decide between Mike and Joel. Posted by Fanfic Lass on :
Too much top spin.
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
I needed the 12 hours sleep.
Posted by cleome on :
Credit card bill due. Posted by Chief Taylor on :
Too much cowbell.
Posted by Fanfic Lass on :
"Cow Cow Boogie" earworm.
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
She smelled like jasmin
Posted by cleome on :
Was busy setting up tables for Rocky's Friday Night All-Episcopal poetry slam.
Posted by Fanfic Lass on :
Popcorn...for dinner.
Posted by dedman on :
The basement flooded, so I had to build a raft for the cats
Posted by Kent on :
I had to move my mosque because some nitwits got offended.
Posted by dedman on :
Had to shave a gorilla for a party
Posted by Fanfic Lass on :
Would have gotten more of a response from the crowd if I'd karaoked "I'll Stand By You" instead of "Night in My Veins", but the neglected songs need to be heard!
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
...over-indulged during the Friday Night All-Episcopal poetry slam (not for nothing do they call us Whiskeypalians).
Posted by cleome on :
dang-blasted gorilla hair got into everything!!
Posted by Fanfic Lass on :
ezooooze
Posted by Kent on :
David Suzuki was doing stand-up.
Posted by cleome on :
Mama don't dance and Daddy don't rock 'n roll.
Posted by Fanfic Lass on :
Mayhew.
Posted by cleome on :
The handkerchiefs were still going around and around in the dryer. Posted by Fanfic Lass on :
Her last name is "Tissue."
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
We couldn't mine the Dennis Leary thing for inspiration.
Posted by Kent on :
Miner used "Dennis Leary" and "inspiration" in the same sentence.
Posted by Leap Year Lass on :
Noticeably fluctuating egg prices.
Posted by cleome on :
Own eggs wayyyyyy past the legal "sell-by" date.
Posted by future king on :
The grocery store was closed on Christmas day.
Posted by Fanfic Lady on :
I used the wrong kind of olive oil.
Posted by cleome on :
I didn't know that it was her birthday!
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
It was my favorite Zoroastrian holiday.
Posted by cleome on :
Needed to buy a cellphone to call my mom to borrow money to buy gas to power the car to drive the cat to jury duty.
Posted by Fanfic Lady on :
But I don't know why she swallowed the fly.
Posted by future king on :
I thought that she knew that I knew that he knew but he didn't know that she knew he knew, you know?
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
Future King confused me.
Posted by Fanfic Lady on :
Sonic Youth thought that confusion was next, but as usual, they were wrong.
Posted by Chief Lardy on :
I was distracted by the hideous giant ice sculpture.
Posted by Lad With Glasses on :
Was almost crushed to death by a local chapter of Cobalt Kid's fanclub.
Posted by dedman on :
I thought that was tommorrow
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
They served hummus.
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
Oh, and I had to deal with an art critic. Posted by cleome on :
A sudden onslaught of good-looking dudes bouncing their pecs.
Posted by future king on :
My wife accidentally told them I wasn't home.
Posted by Fanfic Lady on :
The guy couldn't tell the difference between Cha-Cha and Checher, so instead of dancing, he pooped on the floor.
Posted by cleome on :
Had to go out and buy more "DO NOT CROSS" tape.
Posted by Lad Boy on :
I couldn't find my own pants.
Posted by Dave Hackett on :
Had to build unanimous consensus from all my Facebook friends first, but Doc Mayavale just wouldn't come on-side.
Posted by SharkLad on :
The hamster died...
Posted by future king on :
The dog ate my homework, then I couldn't glue all the poopy pieces back together again properly.
EEEWWWWWWWW, GROSS!!! Posted by cleome on :
I couldn't find Lad Boy's pants, either.
Posted by future king on :
I passed the information onto the Three Stooges.
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
The Batmobile's Library Paste Bat-Dissolving Foam Switch became stuck.
Posted by future king on :
My personal assistant was on vacation that week.
Posted by Legion Tracker on :
It just never felt right.
Posted by SharkLad on :
it broke...
Posted by rickshaw1 on :
because she said so.
Posted by dadman on :
I ran out of rum.
Posted by future king on :
Oh! I thought you said you would take care of it!?
Posted by Dave Hackett on :
Well, you know it was during Michaelmas, right?
Posted by future king on :
I invested the rest of my money on those new flying monkey farms.
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
It was allergy season.
Posted by Legion Tracker on :
My Mama told me to.
Posted by future king on :
My fortune cookie told me to lay low for a while, so I did.
Posted by SharkLad on :
Too much fruit...
Posted by future king on :
I was cleaning out the garage and lost track of time.
Posted by cleome on :
Those blueberry pancakes weren't gonna' flip themselves, y'know!
Posted by Legion Tracker on :
Hell was already at 33 degrees.
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
...it's a lot of effort to go out and buy condoms.
Posted by cleome on :
Too many hipsters showed up.
Posted by Legion Tracker on :
Really, how often does one get a chance to have liver and funyuns?
Posted by cleome on :
It got lost in the mail.
Posted by Set on :
I thought it went there.
Posted by future king on :
I got an e-mail notification saying it was complete.
Posted by cleome on :
Had to email the provider because I couldn't remember my password. Posted by Legion Tracker on :
It just fell off.
Posted by SharkLad on :
He was just asking for it...
Posted by future king on :
I just ASS-U-Me d he backed up all his files.
Posted by rickshaw1 on :
Told'ja not to pick at it. Now look, its all infected and puss-y. Lookitdat oooze.
Posted by future king on :
The poster above me did it. (he looks like the type don't he??)
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
I was told there would be a vegetarian option.
Posted by cleome on :
Spent it all to help finance Outdoor Miner's and Tamper Lad's remake of Weird Science. Posted by Legion Tracker on :
Outdoor Miner wasn't here to stop it.
Posted by cleome on :
Nobody in the class sent me any Valentines in return! [sulk]
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
I didn't realize until just now that they no longer made Sizzlean.
Posted by cleome on :
Rocky and I were both too busy boosting our post counts. Posted by Chief Lardy on :
I'd fallen...and I couldn't get UP!
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
quote:Originally posted by cleome: Rocky and I were both too busy boosting our post counts.
Rocky is trying (probably futilely) to stay ahead of Cleome! Posted by cleome on :
Lardy needed somebody who could come in on Sunday nights.
Posted by Chief Lardy on :
quote:Originally posted by Rockhopper Lad:
quote:Originally posted by cleome: Rocky and I were both too busy boosting our post counts.
Rocky is trying (probably futilely) to stay ahead of Cleome!
'Tis a battle all of us shall eventually lose, my friend. Posted by cleome on :
Believed the hype.
Posted by cleome on :
Was busy melting down all the leftover Easter candy to reuse for my edible life-size statue of Bea Arthur.
[ May 01, 2011, 11:08 PM: Message edited by: cleome ]
Posted by future king on :
quote:Originally posted by cleome: Was busy melting down all the leftover Easter candy to reuse for my edible life-size statue of Bea Arthur.
... I'm not even going to bother to ask. Posted by cleome on :
Great art needs no explanation, fk. It is its own eternal truth.
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
got stuck in construction out on that hellish roadway; apparently it takes quite a while to finish the job when road crews are using good intentions as paving material.
Posted by cleome on :
Ran out of college tape before I ran out of groovy concert posters.
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
the joint chiefs of staff were still out on 4/20 leave.
Posted by SharkLad on :
I ran out of quarters...
Posted by cleome on :
Quarter was neither asked, nor given.
Posted by future king on :
My cat took it and hid it somewhere, now I can't find it. Posted by cleome on :
Marked cards. Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
They ran out of butter and margarine just won't do.
Posted by Jerry on :
I'm trying a new approach.
Posted by future king on :
It rained all day again.
Posted by cleome on :
Believed that I really could make the bananas ripen faster if I just kept staring at 'em all day.
Posted by future king on :
Left my wallet in my other jacket, which we took to the dry cleaners.
Posted by cleome on :
Pleather makes me break out in unfortunate places. Posted by future king on :
quote:Originally posted by cleome: Pleather makes me break out in unfortunate places.
Oh man, I want to stop myself from saying something, I really really do ... but honestly you make it so difficult sometimes! Posted by cleome on :
fk, I was pure of heart before I got to Legion World. Then Lardy corrupted me.
Posted by future king on :
I left the keys in my other pants, sorry!
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
The dog had to be walked.
Posted by future king on :
I couldn't stand the smell, so I left.
Posted by cleome on :
The buses were on Sunday schedule.
Posted by future king on :
The delivery truck got a flat tire, and then was broad-sided by a bus on the side of the road.
Posted by cleome on :
Fire in the hole!
Posted by future king on :
When I got to the store they were turning the lock and flipping the sign from "open" to "close", and.....
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
They were serving fish, but they only had red wine.
Posted by He Who LSHes on :
I'm waiting for my muse to arrive.
Posted by SharkLad on :
I was just in a bad mood
Posted by future king on :
I must have made a wrong turn or something...?
Posted by cleome on :
It got snagged on a previously-unnoticed hangnail.
Posted by future king on :
The alarm clock must have gotten unplugged somehow.
Posted by cleome on :
My evil doppelganger pulled a dine 'n dash last week, and now I can't show my face there anymore! Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
I ran into one of those argumentative types.
Posted by future king on :
But .... I followed the map EXACTLY how it said!!?!
Posted by SharkLad on :
... the battery died
Posted by future king on :
Sorry, there's a postal strike going on, so .....
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
Mac and cheese!!!
Posted by cleome on :
Too many damn variant covers!
Posted by future king on :
I guess I had one too many?
Posted by cleome45 on :
The prunes were SUPPOSED to have been PITTED first!
Posted by Dev Em on :
I'm going with that life just sucks the fun out of everything at times.
Posted by future king on :
Well how did I know that I shouldn't have put that much money on the Canucks? Oh wait, the game hasn't happened yet!
But, I am from the FUTURE! Hmmmmm .....
now I'm confused! Posted by Fanfic Lady on :
While I was getting my hair done, that #$#%@##%$% Katy Perry song came on!
Posted by future king on :
quote:Originally posted by Fanfic Lady: While I was getting my hair done, that #$#%@##%$% Katy Perry song came on!
Doesn't a sh*tty Katy Perry song always come on just when you'd rather listen to anything else??
Posted by Fanfic Lady on :
quote:Originally posted by future king:
quote:Originally posted by Fanfic Lady: While I was getting my hair done, that #$#%@##%$% Katy Perry song came on!
Doesn't a sh*tty Katy Perry song always come on just when you'd rather listen to anything else??
It could have been even worse. They could have played an old Madonna song...oh, wait, they did. AAAAAAAAARGH!
Posted by Emily Sivana on :
Everyone else wanted to stop and take pictures.
Posted by Fanfic Lady on :
I had to call an exorcist, because my car was repossessed.
Posted by cleome45 on :
Inferior cheese.
Posted by Fanfic Lady on :
The butcher thought I had asked for...
(spoiler box for sensitive souls)
Click Here For A Spoiler...POOPERONI Posted by future king on :
I couldn't find anybody to break a 50.
Posted by Lard Lad on :
Turns out it was NOT Penny's boat. Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
A rabid rabbit made off with my underwear.
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
Invisible Brainiac was flexing.
Posted by dedman on :
Teeds beat me up!
Posted by Thriftshop Debutante on :
Click Here For A SpoilerThe inspiration for this thread was a death certificate. They list primary (or probable or immediate) cause, and also have space for....
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
She called me 'cowboy'
Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
She called me "pervert".
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
She called me "Herbert". Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
Rockhopper Lad called me a "Lambert".
Posted by future king on :
I was gonna say "Eggbert"!
Posted by cleome45 on :
SOPA bill! Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
The sopha was being reupholstered.
Posted by future king on :
That's all I could find in the fridge!
Posted by cleome45 on :
quote:Originally posted by Thriftshop Debutante: Click Here For A SpoilerThe inspiration for this thread was a death certificate. They list primary (or probable or immediate) cause, and also have space for....
Click Here For A SpoilerPart of my old Government job was gathering data off death certificates for posting into property tax accounts.
As Dog is my witness: one day we had one where the cause of death was being thrown from an airplane. Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
Oh dear, what a way to go.
Roller-coaster fell off the rails. And I sat too near the racetrack.
Posted by future king on :
My dog ate my homework, and I couldn't tape the puked up pieces back together again.
Posted by cleome45 on :
"Pancakes" poured from a carton are not pancakes!!!
Please trust me on this. Posted by cleome45 on :
Everyone in the other timezones was up and posting before I could even start the day!
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
But I had to go to the yard! She made milkshakes!
Posted by cleome45 on :
Lactose intolerance. Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
Pov told me to do it!
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
It was in too low a key for my voice, so I had them take it up a step.
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
The Ruth Buzzi Film Festival was on.
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
My shirts weren't back from the cleaners.
Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
I was high.
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
I was low.
Posted by cleome45 on :
^ ^ ^
Couldn't find the happy medium.
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
The fortune teller was hiding from cleome.
Posted by cleome45 on :
We don't even have a basement!
Posted by cleome45 on :
Nobody changed the tofu water.
Posted by Set on :
My alarm went off too earlier the previous day, so I turned it off and forgot to turn it back on, and, well, you know...
Posted by cleome45 on :
Neighbors had their stereo cranked too loud.
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
The Mayans told me to do it.
Posted by He Who Wanders on :
The nearest store is in Nebraska.
Posted by Lard Lad on :
A bitchin' Camaro.
Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
Not enough hair gel.
Posted by Fanfic Lady on :
People pooping on the floor.
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
Internet celebrity and fitness model Michael Fitt was there. Posted by Lard Lad on :
Culdn't find my TARDIS.
Posted by Viridis Lament on :
richard Simmons dressed in a Black Metal costume No, really he did!! Posted by Power Boy on :
I was hungry.
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
(Virdy, I did *not* need to see that..)
It is Viridis' fault for showing us Richard Simmons pics!
Posted by Lard Lad on :
quote:Originally posted by Viridis Lament: richard Simmons dressed in a Black Metal costume No, really he did!!
quote:Originally posted by Kent Shakespeare: (Virdy, I did *not* need to see that..)
It is Viridis' fault for showing us Richard Simmons pics!
(What was it in the context of that post made it seem like a GOOD idea to click that link, Kent?!?!)
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
(I have been drinking with Virdy. I could not believe a drinking buddy would do that to me!)
Posted by Viridis Lament on :
Sorry but that horror was not something I could keep to myself
Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
I was blinded by the costume.
Posted by Viridis Lament on :
Anthony Sullivan said I should buy it
Posted by cleome46 on :
A citation from the Word Cops. (I really need to use Spellcheck more often.) Posted by Viridis Lament on :
Someone changed the autocorrect so everytime I type "Sir" it comes out as "You Bastard"
Posted by cleome46 on :
Vogon Poetry.
Posted by Viridis Lament on :
42
Posted by cleome46 on :
Dolphin Local #2424 staged a walkout. (er... swim-out?)
Posted by cleome46 on :
Holes in the screens! Posted by Fanfic Lady on :
Hole in the sky, gateway to heaven!
Posted by Viridis Lament on :
Put my fist through the screen
Posted by cleome46 on :
Needed that alcohol to treat VL's scratches.
Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
Tried to kill a cockroach with extreme prejudice.
Posted by cleome46 on :
(And speaking of cockroaches...)
Election Year!!
Posted by Viridis Lament on :
I was entralled by the American debates
Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
The candidates' false promises gave me diabetes.
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
We were all out of Cool Whip.
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
I spent the last of my money bribing the Yankees into throwing the series.
Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
They thought concrete boots went well with my shirt.
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
The organ donation collection team was quite insistent.
Posted by Everyday Girl on :
Ohmygod! Like who cares if Nura was like seen wearing white after labor day?
Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
I SAID I didn't do it...
Posted by cleome46 on :
Another sex scandal
Click Here For A Spoiler...and I wasn't invited! [sulk] Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
I closed my eyes too soon.
Posted by cleome46 on :
ran out of bad pick-up lines
(and baking powder)
Posted by Kinetix (Zoe Saugin) on :
Wore sapphire blue with hot magenta. Bad clash of colors.
Posted by Viridis Lament on :
Threw a bus at it and missed
Posted by cleome46 on :
I thought the marriage certificate was real!
Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
I thought he'd duck.
Posted by Viridis Lament on :
I thought he was a duck
Posted by cleome46 on :
We went into overtime.
Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
he made me very, very angry.
Posted by cleome46 on :
High apple-pie-in-the-sky hopes
Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
I thought it was just plain water.
Posted by cleome46 on :
Greasy hashbrowns (feh!)
Posted by Viridis Lament on :
It looked like it would fit
Posted by cleome46 on :
VL possessed by the spirit of Lard Lad!!
Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
He was being awfully rude.
Posted by Leap Year Lord on :
The parmesan went bad.
Posted by Lad Boy on :
Given the impending fiscal cliff and Mayan apocalypse, I saw no reason to exhibit any sort of finacial or moral restraint.
![[Embarrassed]](redface.gif)
![[Chameleon Boy]](graemlins/ChameleonBoy.gif)
![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
![[gasp]](graemlins/gasp.gif)
Lardy has a chastity belt? ![[Gasp]](graemlins/faint.gif)
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
![[Mad]](mad.gif)
![[Confused]](confused.gif)
![[Sprock That!]](graemlins/sprockthat.gif)
![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
![[Kono]](graemlins/Kono.gif)
![[No]](graemlins/shake.gif)
![[Disgusting]](graemlins/puke.gif)
![[Kid Quantum]](graemlins/KidQuantum.gif)
Time zone change. ![[Kid Quantum II]](graemlins/KidQuantumII.gif)
![[Shudder]](graemlins/shudder.gif)
![[Whizzy]](graemlins/Whizzy.gif)
![[shrug]](graemlins/shrug.gif)
![[AHHHH!!!!]](graemlins/scream.gif)
![[Poverty Lad]](graemlins/PovertyLad.gif)
![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
![[TimeTrapper]](graemlins/TimeTrapper.gif)
![[X-Bomb Betty]](graemlins/XBombBetty.gif)
![[Color Kid]](graemlins/ColorKid.gif)
![[Doctor Mayavale]](graemlins/DoctorMayavale.gif)
![[slap]](graemlins/slap.gif)
<----[self]
![[Umbra]](graemlins/Umbra.gif)
![[Tellus]](graemlins/Tellus.gif)
![[I Dunno]](graemlins/urk.gif)
![[Insect Queen]](graemlins/InsectQueen.gif)
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
![[Drool]](graemlins/drool.gif)
![[Glorith]](graemlins/Glorith.gif)
![[Yes]](graemlins/nod.gif)
![[Hmmm?]](graemlins/hmmm.gif)
![[Good]](graemlins/angel.gif)
![[LOL]](graemlins/lol.gif)
![[Love]](graemlins/love.gif)
![[Light Lass - Re-Imagined]](graemlins/LightLass3.gif)