posted
Here's what you do. Have a pot luck, but only for the temps. All of you bring your very best smelling dish and place it in front of the vents so the smell really gets into the place.
Goose, meet Gander.
*I'm really good at creative evil. Want any suggestions, just let me know.
-------------------- Damn you, you kids! Get off my lawn or I'm callin' tha cops!
cleome46
or you can do the confusion 'til your head falls off
posted
Well, I'm doing the next best thing: I went to the Yuppiemart and picked up some nice sandwich fixings. (I really wanted to just buy a premade sandwich plate, but I thought tasty fixings would be better than mediocre chain sandwiches that would cost the same amount of money.)
The other temps were talking about bringing something in tomorrow, too. Maybe they will, but if not, no biggie. I accept that unlike most of my peers over there, I don't have any "little ones" to feed at home except the cat. That gives me some latitude that they don't have in these matters.
The best part is, should any regular staff ask me for some food, I can HONESTLY state, "Sorry, I barely have enough for the temps. I was on a tight budget. Maybe some other time, Jerkface."
-------------------- Hey, Kids! My "Cranky and Kitschy" collage art is now viewable on flickr. Drop by and tell me that I sent you.
From: Vanity, OR | Registered: Dec 2008
| IP: Logged |
posted
And people wonder why American workers have no company loyalty anymore.
-------------------- Five billion years from now the Sun will go nova and obliterate the Earth. Don't sweat the small stuff!
From: Boston | Registered: Aug 2003
| IP: Logged |
cleome46
or you can do the confusion 'til your head falls off
posted
Oh, I brought in the food. A few people took something to eat, but most were too busy outside with that brazen hussy: nicotene. Oh, well. I took the leftovers home to mr_cleome.
The funniest part was when the... shall we say, most poorly-socialized of the temps looked at the Yuppiemart label on a jar of veggie spread and sneered, "I don't shop THERE!" before flouncing off.
-------------------- Hey, Kids! My "Cranky and Kitschy" collage art is now viewable on flickr. Drop by and tell me that I sent you.
From: Vanity, OR | Registered: Dec 2008
| IP: Logged |
Thank you for making such a fun place for fans of the book to go too. Your endless bitching about how this isn't "your" wonder woman, about how you cannot "follow" the book, how Gail is an evil person apparently merely for breathing in the general vicinity of the book is always a pleasure to read.
Thanks to you, I myself have participated in some of the more recently confrontational topics, abandoning my usually more relaxed and playful manner.
Also, the welcoming way you greet newcomers that are enjoying the book is really heartwarming...oh, wait, I meant given to causing heartburn.
So, once again, thank you for showing the world that comics fans are in fact not anything like they jokes non-comics readers make about us.
So classy and elegant of you.
-------------------- Damn you, you kids! Get off my lawn or I'm callin' tha cops!
cleome46
or you can do the confusion 'til your head falls off
posted
Dear Commercial Radio Station "DJ's",
Nobody cares about your New Year's resolutions or what you think of Tiger Woods or your pathetic "funny" Whiteboy attempts to sound "gangsta."
Look, as recently as twenty years ago, people like you still had to be bright enough to find the hole in the middle of a record or CD. Now, even that's unnecessary, as some committee of suits in a conglomerate headquartered thousands of miles from where I reside determines your playlist for you. You have the collective IQ of a stale muffin, and it shows. So shut your stupid yaps and just let the damn music play already!
Sincerely,
cleome the aggrieved temp
-------------------- Hey, Kids! My "Cranky and Kitschy" collage art is now viewable on flickr. Drop by and tell me that I sent you.
From: Vanity, OR | Registered: Dec 2008
| IP: Logged |
cleome46
or you can do the confusion 'til your head falls off
posted
Dear Fandom "Elders" (in any and all fandoms),
If you want to sell others on your emotional and intellectual maturity, don't say/write things like, "You must do things my way and my way alone!I was in this fandom before you were EVEN BORN, Sprout!"
It's the old person's equivalent of "Eat It, Grandpa," and it makes you sound the opposite of mature, in fact.
Fandom is big and there's room for everyone. Also, there's better ways to bring Teh Youth around to the richness of your beloved fan cultures and traditions than looking down your nose at them over something they can't control. (ie- The fact that they weren't alive the whole time you were.)
Set a good example. Stop being a self-important jerk. Everyone younger than you is not your de facto kid, so don't talk to them that way. (Hell, I'm not even sure that you should talk to your actual adult children that way.) You're making the rest of us old geezers look bad.
Sincerely,
cleome
-------------------- Hey, Kids! My "Cranky and Kitschy" collage art is now viewable on flickr. Drop by and tell me that I sent you.
From: Vanity, OR | Registered: Dec 2008
| IP: Logged |
posted
Dear sir, ma'am, anal sphincter void with phone, bluetooth, or any other media at ear while driving and at a stop light:
Yes, after working all day, what I really want to do just one or two miles from home is sit behind you as you block traffic. I'm sure that whatever conversation you are having is much more important that any thing else in the world, but...you should know this:
When I've been working all day, and you sit in front of me at a two way stop, with quarter mile gaps between cars and don't move, I may just take my big old obnoxious truck and push your sorry @$$+eric into oncoming traffic. If you are so incapable of doing two things at once like driving and breathing, how do you expect to do three?
As it is, every other driver on the road awaits with bated breath the unspeakable pleasure of sitting behind you, and sitting, and sitting...
Hey, remember the woman that was found in the parking lot holding the back of her head to keep her brains in and it turned out to be an exploded can of dough for rolls...SHE'S GOT MORE BRAINS IN HER CRAP THAN YOU DO, YOU RANCID PIECE OF HIPPO DROPPINGS! MOVE YER' @$$+ERIC!
Sincerly,
The guy you are keeping from his kid!
-------------------- Damn you, you kids! Get off my lawn or I'm callin' tha cops!
cleome46
or you can do the confusion 'til your head falls off
posted
Dear Lefty Blogger Who I Liked Until Three Days Ago,
I agree with you that Blogger X's blog is not very good. I don't care for her politics, nor that of her contributors. Her writing style isn't great, and her moderation policy seems to lead to an endless string of threads that remind me of outtakes from the Oprah show. Too much sugar-sweetness, not enough substance.
But you know what? You sound like a complete and utter [bleep]head when you ridicule her for being fat. Your justification for behaving so poorly? She posted her own photo on her own blog and thus was "asking for it."
Sweet Zombie Jeebus. Look, if you get the fantods and tremors in your fat-free, fit, more-athletic-than-thou heart/soul from looking at a picture of a fat woman, here's a solution: Don't look.
Maybe in your dream world, fat people either shut themselves in all the time, or perhaps we're only allowed out in public wearing burkhas lined with horsehair and big signs saying, "Kick Me. I'm fat." But this isn't your dream world, and we can go out in public and even-- holy Toledo!-- put up pictures of ourselves if we want to; despite your moral outrage about it.
When I told you that I was fat, too, and your language made me uncomfortable, I got a slew of insults, too. Last week, you thought I was fit to speak to, but once I "outed myself" as --gasp!- overweight, that all changed.
Maybe you should just kiss my big fat rear end, you immature, sanctimonious jerk. You are ugly through and through, despite your claims of aesthetic sensitivity. I don't care how many quarters I could theoretically bounce off your perfect abs. You are the ugliest person I've met on the 'net in a very long time, and given some of the pits I've blundered into, that's really saying something.
Get a life, you shallow, egocentric snot.
Sincerely,
fat cleome
-------------------- Hey, Kids! My "Cranky and Kitschy" collage art is now viewable on flickr. Drop by and tell me that I sent you.
From: Vanity, OR | Registered: Dec 2008
| IP: Logged |
posted
Cleome, anyone 'cut' that much, is a vain ass. They have to be because they spend all their time in front of a mirror checking themselves out. Don't worry about the douchebag.
-------------------- Damn you, you kids! Get off my lawn or I'm callin' tha cops!
Thank you for writing your final exam the way you did. It perfectly demonstrates certain attitudes and behaviors shared by many college students just coming out of high school. Specifically, it offers a vivid narrative of what not to do in college courses:
1. Do not take responsibility for your own actions. 2. Blame the teacher for your own shortcomings. 3. If the class is not to your liking, just stop showing up. 4. Disrespect the teacher by saying he has a biased mindset and monotone lectures. 5. Do not follow directions. If the assignment calls for a specific format and a Works Cited page, just ignore it. After all, the brilliance of your own writing will more than make up for such piddly rules. 6. Ignore critical comments. If the teacher didn't get your point on a previous paper, that just shows how biased the teacher is. 7. Don't come to class for weeks, then show up to write a scathing final exam. That will show the teacher how brilliant and honest you are. 8. Accept the fact that you have a bad grade. Taking a heroic stand is always better than actually doing the work of the class. 9. Assume that you speak for everybody when you describe the class as boring and a waste of your time.
Your paper does such an outstanding job of demonstrating these self-serving behaviors and fallacies, that I would like to use it in my future classes. May I have your permission?
-------------------- The Semi-Great Gildersleeve - writing, super-heroes, and this 'n' that
From: The Stasis Zone | Registered: Jul 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
wow. HWW, you just made my own students look that much better. #5 and a little bit of $6 were the worst I saw.
From: Vancouver, BC, Canada | Registered: Dec 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
I have to say that eighty-five percent of my students aren't jerks. Even most of the ones who are jerks simply stop showing up.
-------------------- The Semi-Great Gildersleeve - writing, super-heroes, and this 'n' that
From: The Stasis Zone | Registered: Jul 2003
| IP: Logged |
Hyperpath: Email this page to someone!
Printer-friendly view of this topic | Subscribe To Topic
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
![[LOL]](graemlins/lol.gif)
![[No]](graemlins/shake.gif)
