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Year One: The Beginning of the LMBP Part IV: The Adventures of the LMBP
Real History Almost immediately, posters in the LMB began getting 'into character' and developing their own personas to fit their characters. This was done in a variety of ways including random posts revealing some important aspect of a character, or other threads making reference to past adventures that might have been and what the LMB would be doing if it were similar to the Legion.
Eventually, the grand tradition of the tag team thread began. Each tag thread contained a LMB story that allowed a poster to come in and pick up right where the last post left off telling a tale--so that it was a constantly evolving, organic tale. These adventures chronicled the growth of the LMB and established a continuity of storylines to go along with our characters. Within a few weeks of the founding of the LMB, the first one began. They have been a hallmark ever since.
In Continuity:
The adventures of the LMBP kicked off with a bang. Immediately, a series of villains, zany situations and cosmic adventures ensued:
The LMB Adventures BJ Boy and Hummer Lass are introduced as key enemies of the LMB, constantly attacking LMBers and making them succumb to weakness. Most of the early LMBers are involved totally in these tales. The Time Mouse Trapper is also revealed to be the main enemy of the LMB. A combination of an all powerful time controlling villain waiting for them at the end of time, and a sneaky little mouse, the Time Mouse Trapper unleashed the first of his many attacks. Real History Note- this was an actual tag team thread started by LardLad, although it has been lost to us.
The Death of Food-Maker Kid Early in the history, the LMB experienced tragedy, as one of their members, Food Maker Kid, perished in a battle with the Super Moby Dick of Space. Beagle Boy was hit especially hard, since Food Maker Kid was the equivalent of a mentor to him. Real History Note-this is not actual tag story, and was retroactively fit into continuity in the very next tag story. In the future, these notes will only be seen when there actually was a tag team thread
The New (Reboot) Origin of the LMB In the second great saga of the LMB, BJ Boy and Hummer Lass return and resume their attacks on the LMBers. Another great threat is revealed, as Salad Tosser Lord returns to attack the LMB and unleash his terrible plan. The Time Mouse Trapper continues to lurk in the background. Finally, the story culminates with the great threat of Entropy Spinach being unleashed upon the world. Only Tsarin Kid's brilliant intellect is able to save them with his new invention, the "Spinach to Vodka" machine, which then turns it into vodka for Loser Lad and Cobalt Kid to drink.
The LMB Espionage Squad At first it appears that Lash Lad, Goon Boy and Cobalt Kid are missing from duty for some time. It is eventually revealed that Cobalt Kid had created the LMB Espionage Squad, to infiltrate the summer tropical island of Kancun, and the three had been victorious in a very dangerous mission. Afterwards, Cobalt Kid is made leader of the LMB Espionage Squad, a position he holds throughout the LMB’s history and a precedent for his later title of Security Chief (for life).
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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Year One: The Beginning of the LMBP Part V: Anecdotes during the Earliest Days of the LMBP
-The LMB decide to open up the LMB Academy to train all the applicants that were rejected, but would like to learn how to control their powers. Armsfalloffboy is elected Dean of the school, and other LMBers, such as Shady and LardLad become teachers. It is apparent that LardLad pushed for the creation of this school because he wanted to become closer to Dazzle Lass. Shadowplay in Candlelight Lass insists that teachers and students cannot be in a romantic relationship.
-Shadowplay in Candlelight Lass quickly and permanently is revered among the LMBers as one of the most beloved members of the team. It cannot be stressed enough how much the rest of the LMB adores and loves her.
-Tsarin Kid takes on the role of the resident scientist/genius among the LMB, who come to rely on him for all matters of this nature.
-Blok the Pet Rock becomes the LMB Mascot, after helping them in a battle against some super-crooks of space (by falling on one's toe, tripping him into the others).
-Crusader becomes responsible for maintaining a clean and well administered LMB Headquarters. Unfortunately, this involves having to tidy the place up after the notorious LMB parties (and LardLad's day to day antics).
-LardLad and Dazzle Lass begin a romantic relationship in secret.
-Ultra Jo begins tabulating the amount of duty being worked by each LMBer (amount of posts). This would later lead to the creation of the LMB Mission Monitor Board.
-Seahorse coins his famous catch phrase "Oh my Giddy Aunt!"
-Beagle Boy follows in the steps of his mentor, Foodmaker Kid, and becomes the premier chef among the LMB.
-The Hootchie Hut is found by LardLad, and the Red Light Lounge is found by Lash Lad, beginning the long tradition of the two intergalactic bars (connected through a door) being the hang-out of the LMB.
-Dev-Em's dog, Schnauzer Pup, joins him at LMB Headquarters for some time.
-Mordra, a young woman looking to hone her powers, enters the LMB Academy.
-LardLad's sidekick Pro-D begins joining him on LMBP adventures and becomes the LMB Mascot.
-Cobalt Kid begins dating his first girlfriend Debauchery Damsel.
-Gonorrhea Gary applies for admission to the LMBP, but his gonorrhea powers are not accepted as a welcome addition. Angry, he lashes out at them although he realizes that he's being selfish and stops before the battle gets out of hand. LMBer Kbern Kid is strangely attracted to him, despite his disease.
-Sketch Lad's cousins Sure Lee and Absolute Lee join him for a few missions with the LMB. This initially inspires Sketch Lad to begin creating and using divas in his sketches to aid him in battle. Eventually, the cousins leave, although not after a scandal between Sure Lee and Cobalt Kid.
-JWB Boy continues to have recurring money trouble, despite living in LMB HQ. At home, he is supporting fourteen brothers and sisters and nineteen cousins.
-Cobalt Kid ditches Debauchery Damsel for Princess No-Protection, introduced to him by Lash Lad. This begins both his 'rogue' reputation, as well as his inclination to not use protection, which would haunt the LMBP years later.
Honorary Members: Throughout this period, a number of posters 'joined' the LMBP by posting one post. This entitled them to 'Honorary Status', although not truly official LMB status. These are some of the following that did so in Year One, although in no specific order or chronology: Sk8 Maven Zero Man Gnorf! Mediocore Boy Jim Gallagher Sir Justin of Camelot dead boy Towenarr Brainbox
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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Year One: The Beginning of the LMBP Part VI: Other Early LMBP Adventures
The Legion of Message Board Super-Pets After the LMB is kidnapped and held hostage by the Time Mouse Trapper, it's up to the LMBers pets to come and save them. LardLad's sidekick Pro-D unites Beagle Boy's dog Piddlin' Pup, Dev-Em's dog Schnauzer Pup and LMB mascot Blok the pet Rock, as the four invade the Time Mouse Trapper's lair and rescue their LMB owners.
Espionage on Gay Disco Island! Lash Lad, Kbern Kid, Seahorse, Crusader, Looks that Kill Lad, Rhino and Beagle Boy investigate the strange disappearances of the strait LMBers, and learn that they are being held prisoner on Gay Disco Island. Dressing up in full disco regalia, they and Shady infiltrate the island to free them.
The Message Board League In an inter-time crossover, a group of heroes from the 21st century arrive in the 31st century and go on a small series of adventures with the LMB. The Message Board League members Disco Steve, the Time Tryst, Indestructable Man and Joker1 enter fight side by side the LMB against threats such as BJ Boy, Hummer Lass and Salad Tosser Lord. Real History Note- these posters really existed and used to post on other forums on the DC Boards. They came over to meet 'the other group' and ended up having a few days of fun across the L* Board.
And Men Shall Call her Whordru! the Great wizard Whordru awakens after a millennia of sleep and decides to throw a hissy fit and destroy the universe! Looking like a beautiful woman with a long flowing full white beard she begins her rampage, until she is ultimately confronted by the LMB! In their biggest battle since the Time Mouse Trapper, every LMBer rushes into battle until she is defeated. She is only defeated after the LMB Cadets leave the academy and come and save the LMB! It was Dazzle Lass and Mordra, two LMB cadets that eventually saved the day. The mission ended with Dazzle Lass and Mordra inducted into the LMB. Note- Dazzle Lass, Mordra and the first defeat of Whordru are retcons, and the full tale behind them is currently being told in LardLad's Onevision "Turning Point".
Turning Point After Dazzle Lass and Mordra join the LMB, things begin getting strange for them and LardLad. At first, Leelee (Dazzle Lass) doesn't want to reveal her relationship with LardLad, but then actually begins sleeping with all the other male LMBers, even the gay ones. Then, on Cobalt Kid's birthday, LardLad proposed to Dazzle Lass in front of them all, and a huge fight broke out, each man claiming her for himself. Dazzle Lass ran out of the room, Lardy followed, and when the LMB arrived, her dead murdered corpse was in his hands. LardLad is immediately imprisoned for murder with the majority of the LMB turning their backs on him. Finally, it is Shady that convinced Loser Lad and Cobalt Kid to help him, leading to Tsarin Kid solving the case and exonerating LardLad. After an intense interview with Whordru, they learn that it is Mordra, Dazzle Lass’s best friend and fellow LMBer, that is the true traitor: known as Mordra the Harlot, she is actually Whordru’s hated sister and is responsible for betraying the LMB and murdering Dazzle Lass! They confront Mordrda, and are relatively unsuccessful in stopping her, until Lardy finally acts out of pure anger and stabs her in the abdomen with a blade. Though successful, the scars remained deep among the LMBers present, and this marks the turning point of when LardLad began to grow a dark side to his personality that some LMBers whisper about in secret. The take-charge LardLad most famously emerged as the previous shyness of LardLad faded, and the debauchery style of living he is most noted for became prominent thereafter.
The Mystery of the Time Mouse Trapper The Time Mouse Trapper strikes again, attacking the LMB with a renewed sense of vengeance. Throughout, the LMB attempt to figure out his origins, although they continue to get picked off one at a time. At one point, it seems that the Time Mouse Trapper has something to do with Seahorse, Lash Lad or another LMBer in the future that the LMB has not met yet. Ultimately, Goon Boy solves the mystery, but forgets what he figured out by the end of the battle and the LMB remain clueless. The Time Mouse Trapper is only defeated by the combined strength and wits of Looks that Kill Lad, Dev-Em, Lumber Fox and Lash Lad.
The New Super Recruits of the Legion of Message Board Super-Pets eager to prove that they are just as heroic as their owners, the LMB Super Pets expand their membership as Shelly, Nibble Pup, Tony the Noisy Cat and the Peckers Three (birds) join up! The new reloaded Super Pets engage in a variety of hi-jinks until the real LMB has to bail them out.
HUGEMANBREASTS Salad Tosser Lord creates his newest weapon against the LMB: HUGEMANBREASTS, a large frankenstein like monster with female breasts that was an imperfect clone of LardLad. However, during the attack, HUGEMANBREASTS grows angry at Salad Tosser Lord's control of him/her and betrays him, fleeing in the night.
Cobalt's Calculus Conundrum during his numerous periods of study, Cobalt Kid seems unable to comprehend the advanced Calculus he is studying. This is because the calculus has become so complex that it gained a life of its own and attacked the LMB! Defeating Cobalt Kid and then ambushing Loser Lad, Calculus ran amuck through LMB headquarters, although LardLad and Tsarin Kid drove it away. Although it was defeated, Calculus escaped and remains at large to this day. Real History Note- this was a real tag-team thread, although unfinished. However, it has been lost to us.
The Wedding of LardLad! –Not to be undone by her sister Mordra, Whoredru breaks out of prison and uses a girl named Helen as a pawn against the LMB. Whordru enchanted this poor girl who was trying out for the LMB and made her a hermaphrodite. The whole idea was that Helen could only have the enchantment lifted if she could get an LMBer to fall in love with and marry her. Very much like Dazzle Lass, Helen caught the eye of LardLad, who showed her a great kindness and love. The spell was lifted and it seemed the two fell in love—causing Lardy to marry her (and her becoming ‘Girl Girl’ on the wedding night). However, after the honeymoon, they came back and Lardy had their marriage annulled, claiming he was still under one of Whordru’s spells. Not known to any of his friends, this was Lardy’s way of hiding from love and happiness, afraid it would all fall apart again. Helen remained in love for LardLad, hoping one day he’d come back to her. Upon his return to the LMB, LardLad begins showing a deeper interest in the whereabouts to Hummer Lass, perhaps feeling a connection between kindred spirits.
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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Year One: The Beginning of the LMBP Part VII: A Leader for the LMBP
April 19, 2000
Real History: with a solid membership established with over two dozen and rabidly expanding, the LMB came up with the idea of electing ourselves a leader and a deputy leader. The first nomination/election process was very simple and was contained inside the Legion of Message Board Posters thread. Those nominated were LardLad, Lash Lad, Cobalt Kid and Shadowplay in Candlelight Lass, all founders and all very prominent posters among the LMB. LardLad became the first official LMB leader (with a clear majority, most likely because he began the "Who Are You" thread to kick things off), and Shadowplay in Candlelight Lass and Cobalt Kid became the first two deputy leaders of the LMB (both received equal votes). Terms of leadership were decided to be every three months, with no one allowed to be leader for two consecutive terms.
* NOTE: Vote for Lumber Fox was cast by Space Tart, an LMB Alter-Ego, and is not be counted towards the total standings.
In Continuity: The LMB held their first elections for leader, and LardLad was nominated leader by a clear majority. Cobalt Kid and Shady are elected co-deputy leaders, and leadership terms are established to be every four months. It is established that no leader can run in two consecutive terms.
Real History Note: the Real History/Continuity Overlap The difference in terms in continuity and outside is relevant, as it begins to work out that LMB continuity progresses more quickly than real life. Therefore, there are four leaders in a year, although only three in continuity.
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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Year One: LardLad's Term Part I: The Mission Monitor Board
Real History: To keep track of what various LMBers were supposed to be doing 'in continuity', Lash Lad started a thread called "The Mission Monitor Board", which showed which missions the LMBers were on and at what time. This became another major LMB thread that led to many small story points and continuity driven plots for the LMB.
Later, this thread would be important in alerting LMBers on the L* Board to where the other LMBers on the Road Trips were (and even later, the Wizard World Board). It also shows the further progression of the LMB taking on the personas of the Legion of Super-Heroes with their own spin.
In continuity: With the new Mission Monitor Board set up, it became standard for one or two LMBers to always be on Monitor duty, and for LMBers to check in and give full status reports of their missions. For example, Lash Lad, Cobalt Kid and Goon Boy were at the Klordny festival for some time, and routinely updated Lev Lad, who always seemed to be on Monitor duty.
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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Year One: LardLad's Term Part II: The Road Trips
March 30, 2000 - (appr.) April 30, 2000
Real History: the road trips are often considered a big turning point in LMB history, as the LMB really became a tighter community and more of a team than before. After totally making the L* forum their home, and becoming a close nit group of friends, the LMB wanted to continue building on this connection with the rest of Legion fandom. To do so, they carried over a lot of the general enthusiasm and close fun to the LSH board.
Deciding to go even further, the LMB planned on spreading this growing community to the rest of comic book fandom (mainly the DCMBs at this point) and trying to get new readers for the Legion title, as well as gain new LMBers. Cobalt Kid proposed the idea of going on a road trip, by starting a thread in different DC forums, spending some time there for a few days, meeting other posters, and then moving on to the next forum. A lot of other LMBers loved this idea, and told him to go ahead.
Over the next few weeks, the Road Trips spread out to (in this order) the Impulse board, Wonder Woman board, Titans board, Starman board, JSA board and finally the greatly flame war infested Green Lantern board. Although the first road trip had only a few LMBers, almost the entire LMB had joined them over the course of the others, so they were all there for the GL board.
In addition to spreading the LMB and love of the Legion comic book, the LMB also continued to act 'in character', so the Road Trips took on the flavor of a continuing LMB adventure. Thus, when new members joined, which a few did, they fit right into the storyline.
In addition, Cobalt Kid and many LMBers continued to check in at the Mission Monitor Board thread in the L* forum, giving full reports of what was going on. The LMBers still there (in character) would communicate with the adventuring LMBers to keep the story moving.
In continuity:
The Road Trips can easily be split up into six distinct sections, which will make it easier to follow. In addition to a summary of the events in continuity, there will be other notes about things going on, as well as inserts about what was going on back at LMB HQ during this period.
Road Trip Part I: Impulse World ~ thread available at LMB Yahoo Group Lev Lad crashes the ship onto Impulse World, starting the tradition of Lev Lad crashing every ship the LMB are on. Seahorse, Cobalt Kid, Shady, Crusader, Loser Lad and Lash Lad are with him. It's revealed that Impulse World is a world where people give in to sexual impulses to appease their Deity Impulse. Also, the LMB Cruiser runs on Vodkanium, so a constant search for it becomes a major part of the trip. Loser Lad is totally drunk at the start of the road trips, and remains so for the duration.
Space Tart: The first thing that the LMB see is a beautiful young blue-haired female. Even though she's only fifteen, Cobalt and she seem unable to stay away from each other. The LMB quickly learn that her name is Space Tart, and she likes them so much that she agrees to join them on their journey as their guide.
A few posters from the Impulse world join them for a bit.
Historical notes on Space Tart: Space Tart is the first alternate ID to ever join or participate with the LMB. However, she did not begin that way. In the Impulse Road trip thread, she is introduced in a post by Cobalt Kid, as a 'blue-haired young girl'. In a post or two later, Loser Lad aptly names her 'Space Tart' in describing her personality to the rest of the LMB. The character Space Tart is then fleshed out throughout this thread by Lash Lad, Loser Lad and Cobalt Kid, as well as Shady who starts giving her a better personality than 'interstellar trollop'. Cobalt Kid snuck into the last post of the thread that she'd be joining them on the Road Trips.
Back at the Mission Monitor Board, Cobalt Kid informs the LMB that they are continuing on to Themyscria (Wonder Woman World).
Road Trip Part II: Themyscria ~ thread available at LMB Yahoo Group Immediately, the friendly posters of Wonder Woman World greet the LMB and begin interacting with them. Once again, Lev Lad crashes the LMB cruiser. LardLad 'ports from Monitor Duty to join the LMB on their road trip and Goon Boy reveals that he was stowed away on the cruiser. Seahorse and Crusader find a handsome young Amazon man named Mercury and enjoy his company. Mercury then joins them on the Road Trip.
Space Tart continues to join them, and her character is fleshed out a bit farther, as it is established that she is Cobalt Kid's new girlfriend. However, she gets jealous of Cobalt's drooling over the amazons (similar to LardLard, Loser Lad and Lev Lad), and she and Cobalt have their first tiff.
Lucien Lad one of the first posters to meet and greet the LMB, Lucien Lad is immediately impressed by their fabulousness, although not nearly as impressed with the LMB as they are with him. Also, the amount of flirting between Lucien Lad, Lash Lad, Seahorse and others peaks Lucien Lad's interest. Deciding to join them, he hops on the cruiser as it moves onto the next stop. Soon after, he is inducted into the LMB.
Historical note on Lucien Lad Lucien Lad, aka Bevis, never was a fan of the Legion until the LMB arrived at the Wonder Woman boards and 'recruited him'. Since then, he's become a Legion reader, and has become a close friend many of the LMBers over the years. He's one of the few posters to have stayed from year one strait until the present time.
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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Year One: LardLad's Term Part II: The Road Trips (continued)
March 30, 2000 - (appr.) April 30, 2000
Road Trip Part III: Stars My Destination (Starman Board) ~ thread available at LMB Yahoo Group On the way to their next destination, something in the LMB Cruiser malfunctions and Lev Lad crashes into Opal City, the city known only as a star, man. At first, it seems the inhabitants aren't very welcoming, although Shady, Seahorse, Lash and others get them to warm up to the LMB. Armsfalloff Boy joins them with a ten new kegs of Silver Ale.
It's revealed that Dev-Em previously undertook a secret espionage mission to Titans World to scope out the scenery, and was almost killed. Although lectured at first, his bravery is applauded.
The Time Mouse Trapper appears, and has a quick battle with the LMB, although he quickly leaves. In his wake, he leaves a battered Lumber Fox, who now joins them on the Road Trip. The LMB first begin hearing whispers about 'he who moderates', the Anti-Moderator. LardLad becomes very uncomfortable with the inhabitants of Opal City and fears that the rest of the LMB is going native. Meanwhile, most of the LMB go and get tattoos.
The Time Tryst, a resident of Opal City, explains to them the penalty for crossing the Anti-Moderator, who almost destroyed the Message Board League (who the LMB had previously met).
JWB Boy, who was secretly sent to Green Lantern World, reports with an update, although he's ordered to pull out, as it is too dangerous.
The Mighty Fanboy Man Lad:The Mighty Fanboy Man Lad joins the LMB at Opal City, after getting duct taped to the bottom of the ship as an initiation. TMFBM Lad, otherwise known as Sasha, immediately becomes a major member of the LMB, and is prominent for the rest of the time he is on the team. Also Space Tart also seems to find him very likable. Sasha was also the youngest member of the LMB by far, a few years younger than the closet in his age group, Cobalt Kid and Midnight Son.
Midnight Son: Another new recruit joins up, as Midnight Son becomes the newest LMBer. Otherwise known as Wildly Whining Boy, Midnight Son also becomes a long-time LMBer. Wildly Whining Boy often would notoriously be responsible for getting the LMB into action, as they would not longer want to hear his constant complaining.
More historical notes on Space Tart: although her character continued to be written for this thread, all of the LMB were surprised to see that the name Space Tart had been registered by someone and had become an actual poster. Suddenly, Space Tart had come to life and was an active member of the LMB. With her fate now in her hands, the personality of Space Tart began getting rounded out, as she hit on other LMBers to make Cobalt jealous. Although still enamored with Cobalt Kid, she was independent enough to hook up with others, much like he did with other girls. One person she did this with was the Might Fanboy Man Lad. At this point, she becomes an active member of the LMB.
The trip to Opal City ended with the cruiser being fixed and the LMB leaving. However, LardLad, who was uncomfortable with the city, planted bombs in all the toilets of the major buildings in Opal, so that when the LMB left, the city's toilets exploded and fecal matter rained onto the streets. As leader of the LMB, he told them that this was a necessary thing that he was forced to do, and they accepted this explanation after drinking all night.
Back at home, the LMB headquarters is a mass of activity, as other LMBers look to the Mission Monitor Board to join this increasingly large road trip.
Road Trip Part IV: Universe Ablaze (Titans Board) ~ thread available at LMB Yahoo Group The LMB arrive at Titans World, although Lev Lad shocks them with a smooth landing. They are greeted by the denizens of Titan world, and an orange skinned female named Kori. Beagle Boy joins up with them, as they are all shocked to find...
The Return of Foodmaker Kid After some investigation, it's revealed that Foodmaker Kid had come back to the dead in some weird combination with Donna Troy and the Spectre. After seeing his old comrades again (especially his old friend Beagle Boy), the personalities merged within Foodmaker begin to be too much. Even worse, two new personalities, Jar Jar Binks and Hal Jordan/Parallax emerge as well. Many believed the Time Mouse Trapper had a hand in this. Ultimately, the LMB try to save their lost friend, but are unable to, as Foodmaker/Donna/Spectre/Jar Jar/Parralax disappears in a flash of light. He/she would not be seen again for two years.
Ultra Jo and Tsarin Kid join them on the road trips.
Real History Note- the final two segments of the Road Trips have been lost to us, although the first four are archived. It is because of this that many cannot remember the majority of what took place on these missions.
Road Trip Part V: The JSA World The huge group of LMBers that had now amassed journeys to the JSA World, where they meet an even larger amount of people. Shady, Seahorse, and Grey Birdboy, who now joins them, strike up interesting conversations with them.
SMASHFACE the LMB first encounter SMASHFACE, a loud-mouthed poster willing to flame people over the slightest thing. Although they only interact a little with them, they will meet him more later.
Road Trip Part VI: Where Angels Fear to Tread (GL World) After weeks of the road-tripping, the LMB arrive at their final destination, the long-dreaded GL World.
The preparation: the Road trips had been so fun and successful in gaining new members, that a more united LMB began planning the craziness for the GL world. Knowing full well that they'd be getting flamed, it was decided that the LMB would split its ranks into Hal fans and Kyle fans and really let the place explode in a war, as the LMBers flamed each other (all the while tongue in cheek).
The Ultimate Flame War: the largest amount of LMBers to ever journey to one place exploded into a massive flame war of Kyle vs. Hal. LardLad stated that he was a Guy Gardner fan and immediately went into Guy Gardner mode and flamed everything that came his way. By the end of the thread, the majority of LMBers were clamoring for the return of G'Nort as the one, true GL. This was considered one of the funniest LMB threads to ever exist. The GL poster SMASHFACE was the one poster to really take the bait, and became embroiled in the flame war whole-heartedly. Later, he would track down the LMB to their home base, the L* Board. However, the majority of GL posters joined in on the fun and enjoyed the interaction between the GL Board and the LMB.
Road Trip Roll Call: Here's a list of everyone participating in the final stop of the road trip: Lash Lad, LardLad, Shady, Tsarin Kid, Cobalt Kid, Lev Lad, Goon Boy, Seahorse, Crusader, Grey Birdboy, Beagle Boy, Loser Lad, Ultra Jo, Lumberfox, Kbern Kid, Armsfalloff Boy, JWB Boy, Dev-Em, Looks that Kill Lad, Mighty Fanboy Man Lad, Midnight Son, Space Tart, Lucien Lad and Hardshell the Turtle Boy.
Post Road Trip changes: The Road Trips changed the face of the LMB, as many new members were actively recruited. Here is a list of them:
Space Tart- who was created during the Road Trips, and then became a 'real poster'. In a thread called "Cobalt Kid is a Cad!", Space Tart introduced herself as Fiona Orange, and announced that she was no star-struck trollop, and was independent enough to find a new man if Cobalt Kid didn't straighten up.
Lucien Lad
Mightfanboy Lad
Midnight Son aka Wildly Whining Boy
Hardshell the Turtle Boy- who joined up at the L* board during all the craziness and then joined us on the final portion of the Road trip. Hardshell would be a prominent member for a good portion of year two.
The Time Tryst achieved honorary LMB status.
Real History – Following the Road Trips, a more united LMB emerged. Up until then, it had remained a loose knit bunch of posters that was still hard to keep track of because of the constant comings and goings of members. After the finale of the Road Trips, a set group had become the center of the team, and there was a true sense of unity, following a genuine ‘mission’ being accomplished (with new recruits who had real staying power added to the team to boot!)
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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Year One: LardLad's Term Part III: Adventures and Anecdotes during LardLad's Term
LMB: Five Years Laternote-during this time, the LMB wrote a tag team story titled "LMB: Five Years Later". It is widely considered the best LMB tag team story of the classic era. For a full summary of the events there, look to the end of this thread, as it will be summarized there (since it takes place *after* the current continuity. This is also the first appearance of Shark Lad, the Retros and a lot of other LMB creations.
Enter: Shark Lad Shark Lad joins the post-Road Trip LMB as their newest and most ferocious member. Although often crude and rough around the edges, Shark Lad immediately gains the respect of his fellow LMBers.
Space Tart vs. Hummer Lass Hummer Lass and BJ Boy return to battle the LMB, except this time, Hummer Lass has to deal with the new LMB bombshell Space Tart. The two become quick enemies and battle it out (much to the enjoyment of LardLad and Cobalt Kid).
-Lucien Lad and Kbern Kid begin a competitive rivalry, and often get at each other's throats about who is more fabulous.
-Loser Lad introduces Cobalt Kid to a Carggite gymnast, who he starts dating on the side. Space Tart flies into a frenzy.
-Lucien Lad has his army of Brads move near LMB headquarters to better serve him.
The Terrible Titty Trio! HUGEMANBREASTS joins up with the Titty Twins, Tits McGill and Lactation Lass, and the new trio attacks the LMB, as the Titty Twins look to make a name for themselves. Space Tart, Looks that Kill Lad, Seahorse, Lumber Fox and Loser Lad are able to fend them off, although once more, HUGEMANBREASTS fled into the night after betraying the Titty Twins and taking Space Tart's side. However, from then on, HUGEMANBREASTS had found a sympathetic friend in Space Tart.
Special Issue: "I have a case of Carggite Crabs!" Loser Lad becomes the victim of a sexual disease as he gets Carggite Crabs. The LMB help him deal with this issue. Also, this leads to Gonnorhoea Gary, Kbern Kid's boyfriend, to get cured of his disease.
And now...SMASHFACE!!! SMASHFACE arrives at LMB Headquarters looking for a fight, and gets one, as Shark Lad attacks him! In the end, Shady is able to broker some sort of peace, and SMASHFACE is actually made an LMBer, although it's uncertain how long this will last.
Dark Conan and the Pious One Two mysterious figures arrive at the Hootchie Hut, asking questions about Cobalt Kid. They are Dark Conan and the Pious One, and their story remains a mystery. Dark Conan attacks the LMB, but is beaten back by LardLad, the Mighty Fanboy Lad, Seahorse and Shark Lad.
The Bride of Middlefinger the first Middlefinger attacks by stealing Space Tart to make her his bride, and also steals the powers of Cobalt Kid, Lash Lad, Beagle Boy, Loser Lad and LardLad. It's up to Shady and Space Tart to defeat him! note- this story was retroactively fit into LMB Continuity
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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Year One: LardLad's Term Part IV: The Strange Land known as Wizard World
Real history: after the DCU Road trips were so successful, the LMB decided to make another road trip, this time to the Wizard World boards, where LardLad and MLLASH first met each other months earlier. However, the boards were known for their immaturity and Marvel Zombie fan base, who were unwilling to accept other posters.
In typical LMB fashion, the road trip turned into a major farce/joke, as each LMBer was encouraged to come up with a new username and personality, and then not tell each other--so we could all try to figure out who the others were. Although there were many of us, most do not remember the names that all the posters choose. Here are some that those LMBers have been able to recall:
There were others, but they've been lost to us. It was another fun road trip, and continued to strengthen the bonds of friendship within the LMB.
In Continuity The LMB encounter the strange planet of Wizard World, where they meet a strange team of super-villains: the Wizard World Message Board Posters (WWMB). HUGEMANBREASTS, who had previously fought the LMB, was the only one that was familiar to them.
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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Year One: LardLad's Term Part V: Classic LMB Threads
There were many threads throughout the LMB's history, although many are still looked back on today with great nostalgia. Here are some of the greatest from Year One:
Guess Who? begun by Loser Lad, this game became *the* classic off-topic LMB game. It has become a tradition to this day to start and continue this game in every LMB forum.
Ask Space Tart after joining the LMB and becoming a 'real poster', Space Tart began her own 'Ask Space Tart' column to address the problems LMBers might have with their love lives. At first, all we knew about her was that her name was Fiona Orange, although it became clear that she was an alternate ID of another poster. Eventually, in this thread, it was revealed that Space Tart was MLLASH! From then on, she remained a member of the LMB, as the first alternate ID.
Ask MLLASH With it common knowledge that MLLASH was Space Tart, Cobalt Kid started another thread called "Ask MLLASH" for him to continue answering questions for LMBers about their love lives. This has become a long-standing tradition of the LMB ever since, and similar threads have been started on the UBB forum, the Phineas Forum and now here at Legion World. Often, other threads have been started centering on another LMBer or poster, mimicking this old mainstay.
Dean Lee's Hair Thread A longtime thread on the L* Board, Dean Lee used to discuss the various Legionnaires hair styles over time. This was a much beloved thread by the LMB, and the hair styles of celebrities, LMB characters and other people were also topics often discussed.
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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Year One: LardLad's Term Part VI: Even More Adventures and Anecdotes of Year One under LardLad's Term
Farewell to a Friend The first major LMBer leaves the fold, as Cobalt Kid is forced to resign from the LMB. Dark Conan and the Pious One, who have some strange sort of connection to Cobalt Kid, force him to leave the LMB and join them on a journey, to discover the source of his powers. Space Tart is heart-broken, and his close friends, such as LardLad and Lash Lad, are sad to see their friend leave. Unfortunately for Cobalt, he learns he was duped, and is captured by the Pious One and Dark Conan, who turn out to be completely evil. note- the true story of this can be found in "The Tale of Cobalt & Spacey " and "The Tale of Dr. Albert Hoffman"
SMASHFACE vs. Shark Lad in an all-out final confrontation, Shark Lad battles SMASHFACE, as Shady is caught in the middle. In the end, SMASHFACE reveals his true colors, and leaves the LMB before he can be kicked out.
The LMB Summer Christmas Special Lucien Lad, feeling nostalgic for Christmas in the summer time, uses his nostalgia powers to make it Christmas, and the LMB enjoy a huge Christmas bash. Unfortunately, the Time Mouse Trapper attacks, and it's up to the LMB and Santa Claus to stop him. Santa Claus becomes an honorary LMBer, and is revealed to be a pagan, a wizard and a gay man. Real History Note- this really did happen, although Santa Claus joining the LMB has been fitted in retroactively in the Ongoing Tag Team Thread
The End of the Legion of Message Board Super-Pets The LMB Super-Pets go on their final mission, as they must take down a brain-washed Shark Lad and Lumber Fox, who keep trying to eat them alive. Although they defeat them and Salad Tosser Lord (who was controlling them), they decide to break up. Only Piddlin' Pup, Blok the Rock and Pro-D stay on as LMB Mascots.
Psychotic Beaver, sister of Shark Lad! The LMB are attacked by Psychotic Beaver, who is introduced to be the sister of Shark Lad! Twice as carnivorous and twice as ruthless, Psychotic Beaver attempts to destroy Shark Lad and the LMB. Strangely, she is attracted to Loser Lad. Although she is unsuccessful, she stays around the LMB for some time, both interacting with them normally and then attacking them.
-Mighty Fanboy Lad becomes one of the most prominent posters in the LMB. It cannot be stressed how much he was during the end of year one and the beginning of year two.
Who is the Son of the Eagle? In possibly the most ultimate story of their careers, the LMB meet a traveler from the distant past, a hero named Son of the Eagle. However, they are soon amazed to learn that this is indeed Engine Joe, the great hero who helped inspire the formation of the LMB itself! In a great time of celebration, Engine Joe spends a few days with the LMB and lets them know he approves of what they are doing, and passes on the torch. He then goes back to his own time. Real History Note- this was a period where Engine Joe returned briefly as Son of the Eagle and was SHOCKED to see what the L* forum had become. He gave us a hearty thumbs up and told us to carry on.
The Death of Tsarin Kid In the most tragic of all tales, the LMB fight against their ultimate foes, the Time Mouse Trapper and Whordru, together for the first time. Every LMBer on the roster is called upon to deal with both situations, although it looks like the odds are stacked too high against them. Tsarin Kid then makes the ultimate sacrifice to send them both to the end of time to be stuck there waging war against one another, although in doing so, he gives up his life.
Picking up the Pieces: the End of Year One With two momentous events, the Death of Tsarin Kid and Engine Joe's seal of approval, the LMB lay their friend to rest and now turn to the new question: where do we go from here? With the new leadership elections on the horizon, the LMB enter their second year of existence, preparing to answer these new questions...
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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Year One: LardLad's Term Part VII: Year One, an Overview
It should be remembered that the end of year one in continuity is really the end of about the first five to six months of the LMB's existence. The amount of stories and things happening during this period were so dense and so much, that this is the easiest way of splitting it apart chronologically.
This much can be said for this period: that by the end of LardLad's term as leader, the LMB was a united group of posters that had become good friends and intended to stick around each other for the foreseeable future. The small hobby of message board posting took on a whole new life of its own, as long distance friendships arose, and the casualness of the internet became more and more foreign. The LMB was here to stay, and its future, in both real life and continuity, seemed to be vast and something to look forward to.
This period, as I will get to next, also is a period of expansion, but more importantly, consolidation. Although the LMB had vast numbers early on, many of the posters who posted very little began to slip away and stop posting as much, while a solid group of about twenty to thirty posters became the prominent mainstays of the LMB. This allowed it to become a more tight-nit group, and then expand in a new way: a personally welcoming way that did away with internet formalities and acted like a true group of close friends.
Whatever the LMB may have started as, it was certainly something by this point. Newcru created the LMB Yahoo group, and suddenly there was another website specifically for the LMB that encouraged the posting of artwork and stories, discussion with each other and the receiving emails from each other. The LMB was here to stay, and the future was just over the horizon. More friends were still to come.
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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Year Two: Lash Lad’s Term Part I: Consolidation and Expansion
Consolidation: Real History: With the end of LardLad's term as leader, things were changing throughout the LMB. A new leader was about to be elected, and Newcru/Crusader had created the LMB Yahoo Group. While many posters had become LMB mainstays, a significant amount of posters began posting less, and eventually drifted away from the group, as their hobby of message board posting came to an end. These posters will be listed in the "In continuity" section, although it should be noted that they all left mainly because they just stopped posting that much, not for the ‘in continuity’ reasons listed.
In continuity:
After the death of Tsarin Kid and the thumbs up from Engine Joe, it became apparent that things were changing and the LMB was moving on. With a new leader being elected, it became the time to decide if a life as an LMBer was what the members wanted. Most of the LMBers stayed on, although a significant amount left the team to pursue other responsibilities. They were:
Armsfalloff Boy: who left the team after his wife gave birth to a baby son. Having more important responsibilities as a father, Armsfalloff Boy said farewell to the LMB.
Kbern Kid: With Gonorrhea Gary cured of his disease, Kbern Kid decided to retire from the LMB and settle down with Gary to live happily ever after.
Lumber Fox Lumber Fox left the LMB to pursue his dreams of exploring the galaxy, although he promised to one day return.
Ultra Jo: who statistical skills got him a job for Earthgov as a mathematician.
Carggaphile
Igee the Mighty
JWB Boy: JWB Boy had terrible money trouble, despite his celebrity. It was Loser Lad who suggested a great job opportunity to him, and JWB Boy sadly left the LMB to go to work full-time and support his fifteen brothers and sisters and nineteen cousins.
Lurker Lad who left the LMB, but may still be lurking to this day...
Lev Lad
Goon Boy who power of super-forgetfulness became so potent, that one day he forgot what the LMB was and that he was a LMBer. Waving goodbye to the strangers who looked so fondly at him, he left the LMB.
Reserve Members of the LMB: Since once you become a LMBer, you are an LMBer for life, every member of the LMB (that has not been dishonorably discharged) is moved to reserve status. This status means that they receive a distress call in times of dire emergency and they can come and rejoin the LMB at any time they choose.
Expansion: the new school Although many LMBers had left the fold, there was a new group of recruits that came in roughly around the same time. Since they joined so soon after one another, and were all major posters for a long time, they were dubbed "the New School of the LMB".
Faraway Lad who drinking and witty humor fit in with the LMB like few others.
Kid Therod another major poster, who was would do anything for the LMB, which he once proved in a battle with the Emerald Ass of Ekron.
Kid Psychout who was known for his drinking, swearing, fighting and carrying a baseball bat into battle.
Foxy Roxy An alt ID inspired by Space Tart's unapologetic willingness to be a public personality, Foxy Roxy was a ferocious, but also sweet heroine who joined the LMB.
Lexbose Another female alt ID inspired by Space Tart, and then Foxy Roxy, Lexbose joined the LMB and fought by their side with passion and courage.
other members Other members joined the LMBP for a short period of time. Although they were not major posters, they were very welcome and brought even more energy and creativity to the LMB. They were:
Cookie Monstress whose stay with the LMB was brief.
ShadowFox who was more of a lurker than a poster, but would join in on LMB shenagans occasionally.
Tao Damsel whose stay with the LMB was also brief.
Chips Ahoy Boy who only stayed briefly for a period. He was a close friend of Mighty Fanboy Lad.
[ February 08, 2006, 01:10 PM: Message edited by: Cobalt Kid ]
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