posted
Year Four: Ultra Matt’s Term Part I: A New Home in an Old Place at the DCMBs and Further Change in the LMB
Ultra Matt and Greybird began their terms around the summer of 2002 and remained as the LMB leadership for many months, far beyond the usual three month term. Although LMB continuity will officially list this term as about normal (perhaps a little longer to deal with some of the crisis at the end—but more on that later), in actuality it lasted about a good seven months, from about July 1, 2002 to February 1, 2003. The reason for this, if any, is that this long period of seven months saw more than the usual amount of the constant change that had become a trademark of the recent LMB.
Throughout this period the roster continued to grow and change, as it had previously, as many older posters decreased their level of activity tremendously, such as Lardy and Shady, and some other older posters stopped posting all together, such as Cobalt Kid, Kid Therod, and most notably, Seahorse, who had been with the LMB strait on through since the very beginning day. Additionally, other posters became more active, and newer posters joined up—some becoming phenomenally more prominent in both the LMB and the online Legion community at large. Eryk Davis Ester, Kid Prime and others became a part of the LMB during this period, through the large amount of interaction the LMB had with the other posters on the DCMBs.
The power months of the Yahoo Group continued a little further, although they eventually began to wind down, so that the Yahoo Group, although still very active, did not have the immense amount of activity it had during the previous three terms. There was still some strong activity however, as the Yahoo Group served as the main resource for the LMB artists to post their art—which Crusader, Sketch Lad, Freekinos, Poverty Lad, Lucien Lad and others continued to do (and beautifully too).
At this time, there were no other LMB forums. The Ultra Board had been closed down towards the end of Cobalt Kid’s term/beginning of Ultra Matt’s and the Voyforum (Duplicate Man’s forum), which had never really taken off, became all but largely abandoned. Where then, did the LMB do the majority of their posting? Eventually, they settled on the most unlikely, but most obvious of places: the Legion Board on the DCMBs.
The LMB had always maintained a presence their throughout its existence, and the previous term had seen a large renewal of interest of many LMBers in going to the DCMBs. The larger online Legion community, which will be referred to as ‘Allies of the LMB’ in terms of LMB Continuity, had continued to grow as a community and friendships were becoming more potent—and the circle of LMBers posting on the DCMBs began to overlap with this. Throughout Ultra Matt’s term, many LMBers became increasingly prominent on the DCMBs and in this larger online Legion community large—for example: Dean Lee, Thriftshop Debutante and MLLASH were equally as prominent among this larger community as they were with the LMB. Eryk Davis Ester, who had been part of that community for quite awhile, effectively had the reverse effect, and crossed into the LMB when he began participating on the tag team threads. This was true for many posters during this time, as the DCMBs became the main playground for the LMB again, while a strong portion of the LMB membership kept the Yahoo Group alive and well throughout Ultra Matt’s term.
[ March 03, 2006, 12:55 PM: Message edited by: Cobalt Kid ]
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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posted
Year Four: Ultra Matt’s Term Part II: Hot Summer Nights
Real History: The LMB became prominent on the DCMBs once more, and once more put themselves at risk against the Moderator there. Even more surprising, many of them actually began to start LMB Tag Team threads on the Legion Board—an actual first for the LMB, and a guaranteed sign of trouble. Except, it wasn’t…or at least not at first.
It was (of course) MLLASH who decided to begin the Tag Thread “Hot Summer Nights” on the Legion Board, and he got right into it by having Leap Year Lass, Cobalt Kid, Faraway Lad and others right in the thick of it. And quite suddenly—it really caught fire! Even more, other non-LMB posters began chiming in and the repeatedly proved to be one of the funniest things to ever grace a message board.
Other DCMB posters Eryk Davis Ester, Quislet, Esq. (as Non-Sequitor), Lancerealm and more jumped right in. Eryk Davis Ester became so important to the story, that the rest of the posters began relying on his summaries to see what was happening. Towards the end, newcomer optimusmagnus became a major contributor, and the relationship between Kid Prime (as he was later known) and the LMB began.
It is still to this day one of the most celebrated Tag Threads ever told, if not the most. And with good reason, as it is definitely one of the funniest. This author highly recommends it, if not for LardLad’s sexual crossing the line , Lash destroying the world and other things.
But this tag thread also serves as an important point in LMB History, as it shows the gradual combining of the larger DCMB online Legion community at large and the LMB, as new friendships were forged and others paved their own way into LMB lore.
In Continuity: In an effort to point out the main points of continuity, I’m going to break this down into specific sections, although not necessarily in the way it was presented (the story actually makes *more* sense the farther you go). All help will be appreciated!
While little is known of the true origins of the One Called the One, what has been discovered is that in the recent past she was impregnated by the evil creature known as Pornis, and apparently gave birth to Siamese twins joined at the ass. These twins, whom she named Anthony and David, were quickly separated and sent to foster homes to hide them from their father.
Anthony eventually became a Lard Knight and co-founded the LMBP as Lardlad, while David was adopted by the Ester family, who added the name "Eryk", so that he became Eryk David Ester, which was eventually changed to Eryk Davis Ester .
While the details of the One's relationship with Pornis are not known, it is clear that she quickly became horrified at his determination to conquer the universe and reshape it in his own image. She set out to stop him. Knowing that he drew power from masculinity everywhere, she set about to destroy the source of his power by eliminating the nads of every male. A bit of extreme plan, yes, but that's what she came up with it. And she managed to recruit a number of agents to help her, including Lucifer Lass (unbeknownst to her a possible red kryptonite clone of her son EDE) and the Emerald Empress. Using techniques known only the feminist villains such as herself, she managed to mind-control the female LMBPers into helping her as well!
Her basic plan involved using the mystical nads of Omega Man, which contained a power that could be used in a spell to destroy all nads everywhere and forever. To this end, she sent the Emerald Empress to locate Omega Man and his nads. Unbeknownst to her, the Tid-D Bowl Man, who took care of the Trapper Crapper of Doom for the Time Mouse Trapper, had discovered her plans, and, being male, thought it best to stop her. He sent his agent Turns You into a Country Kid to hide Omega Man's nads by turning him into France. He further enlisted the help of LardLad, who agreed to keep an eye on the Emerald Empress. The Tid-D Bowl man cast a spell on LardLad which allowed him to track the Emerald Empress as long as she was naked, which he sent his operative Clothes-Fall Off Fred to insure.
The LMB soon found itself hunted by Lucifer Lass (although they did not meet her right off), a very scary foe that can crush them with furniture that falls from the sky. The One Called the One quietly lurked in the background as chaos and confusion ensued.
Unfortunately for her plans, she was apparently destroyed when a chunk of the moon hit her headquarters, killing her. While Lucifer Lass kept her agenda going while she was dead, it was not until a series of reboots and retcons restored her to life that she was able to proceed with it fully. In the midst of all these reboots/retcons, she discovered the existence of the Hypertime Bar, which had a power to resist reboots, a power which she decided she could harness in her efforts against Pornis.
At this exact moment in time, Space Tart gained the power to pull objects out of people’s asses, as a result of her long ago possession of the Emerald Ass of Ekron from the LMB's Year Two. She uses this power to save the universe. Note- this was originally Leap Year Lass that was supposed to have this power, then retroactively Princess Crujectra, and then finally Space Tart.
Frankie Muniz and Gary Coleman join the LMB in an effort to help as the crisis continues to grow. Both are killed in action.
Another newcomer, Captain Lightbulb, is introduced as he helps out the LMB, by displaying his power to have really great ideas.
The LMB are also joined by new member Non-Sequitor, whose dysfunctional sense of continuity and order become an immense asset! Note- Non-Sequitor was actually an Alt ID of Quislet, Esq., although Quislet was not a member of the LMB himself at the time
At one point, Grey Birdboy prepared to sacrifice himself for the LMB and did so, but after he lost his wings and toilet paper rained down upon the LMBers. Appropriately, he was called Bounty soon after. However, during the reboots, this was undone.
During these various reboots, the creature JarJarallax reappeared briefly before disappearing again.
Previously, a group of LMBers fed up with the day to day having to read a twelve page thread found out about the Hypertime Bar and began getting hammered there. At the same time, Mike Ock, the terrible nemesis of Poverty Lad, followed Poverty Lad there and the two soon became embroiled in a fight.
Further, the One Called the One coincidently met Turns You Into a Country Kid (who looks amazingly like Freddy Prince Jr.) while searching for the bar, and the two had a torrid love affair.
Unfortunately, Pornis beat her to acquiring the device that made the Hypertime Bar immune to retcons, and used it to achieve his goal of reshaping the universe in his image. This was the infamous Pornisverse Saga, the details of which are lost in the annals of the Five-Page Gap. What is clear, is that once the universe was changed back to normal and Pornis retreated, she engaged in a massive battle with the LMBP, in which she was defeated through the help of the LMBP's new ally Kid Prime, and a spell was cast on her which wiped her of her memory and caused her to speak only in Fuddspeak. For some strange reason, she began calling herself Lisp Lass at this point. It is also know that Blok, one of the members of the LMBP super-pets, sacrificed himself in the process of defeating the One.
After the battle, Kid Prime is offered membership to the LMB, but he decides to join Captain Lightbulb, who says he has his own plans for a super-team.
Eryk Davis Ester, who feels largely out of place in this entire calamity, decides to retire back to his ice cream parlol.
From this point forward the LMB fears the rivalry between Pornis and the One Called the One, and the various consequences it will have on the LMB in the future.
Special Thanks go to Eyrk Davis Ester, from whom I stole the majority of this summary.
Real History (Part 2) At the close of Hot Summer Nights, the thread continued to grow and evolve into an even more comprehensive and massive story that relentlessly pushed the limits on what was appropriate for the DCMBs. Eventually, it was far over the line, and the Moderator, upon seeing what it was deleted it.
Still, the seed was planted and there was a thirst now there for this sort of thread on the DCMBs. The LMB had gained new full-time members into its group, but also a new group of close friends in the larger Legion community that participated in the story.
Eryk Davis Ester and Kid Prime became full time members of the LMB towards the end of Hot Summer Nights, although neither officially joined ‘in continuity’ for a little longer. Likewise, Quislet, Esq. did not officially join the LMB, although his alt ID “Non-Sequitor” acted as a full-fledged member during the story.
[ March 06, 2006, 07:14 AM: Message edited by: Cobalt Kid ]
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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posted
Year Four: Ultra Matt’s Term Part III: Adventures and Anecdotes during Ultra Matt’s Term (Part I)
-Following his term as leader, Cobalt Kid decides to let things settle down a bit in his life. Both he and Space Tart begin to focus more on one another and enjoy a fruitful monogamous relationship for the first time, after having been through the terrible pain of watching their child turn into an evil Demon. Cobalt and Spacey decide to get engaged, and slow down their time with the LMB.
Clowns and Pantaloons The LMB is shocked as they meet their newest member, the crazy clown known as Senior Widebottom ! Rhino, Leap Year Lass, Povety Lad, Omega Man, Lash Lad, Beagle Boy and the rest watch in awe at Senior and his oversized Pantaloons.
- Following the events in Hot Summer Nights, LardLad decides to learn more of the secrets of Pornis and the One Called the One and enlists a small group of Faraway Lad, Omega Man and Duplicate Man to help him. Unfortunately, they come up with very little.
-After a long stint with the LMB, Kid Therod takes a leave of absence with the team. Having been a member since very early in Year Two, this is especially hard for the LMB to say goodbye.
Triad Orange, Nuetral and Purple During this hectic period of LMBers away on missions and coming and going, the LMBers on duty, Lucien Lad, Crusader, Princess Crujectra, Seahorse, Looks that Kill Lad, Lash Lad and Leap Year Lass, become acquainted with the famous lady from Carrgg, Triad! Triad Purple, Triad Orange, and Triad Nuetral become the newest Alt ID additions to the LMB!
-Galahadran aka Lurker Lad II, takes a leave of absence from the LMB during this period, deciding to move further into his lurking state for the time being.
The Ominous Corporations of Earth (Part I) Ultra Matt calls an emergency meeting of the LMBers on Earth after being alerted to the ominous happenings among the Corporate heads of Earth. He informs many of them that things are beginning to change and that Earth itself might not have much of a future if his source is correct. Terrence, Mart and others begin planning possible rebellion plans, while Princess Crujectra considers alternatives. Ultra Matt makes orders a widespread directive for the LMB to better acquaint themselves with the larger hero community.
On Topic Angel With a large hero community now becoming more interconnected, in addition to the gradually increasing rumblings of upcoming changes, a new personality, On-Topic Angel emerges. Endowed with good intentions, On-Topic Angel is often overly forceful in keeping things on the strait and narrow.
Exit Greybird During this time, Deputy Leader Grey Birdboy regrets to inform the LMB that he must take a brief period of absence from the LMB, as he feels it is time to go on a spiritual journey, and in doing so, no longer be a part of the group. He says his goodbyes and leaves for a period of time. At this point forward, there is no deputy Leader for the LMB during Ultra Matt’s term.
The Barbarian Hordes More terrible news begins to arrive in the universe on a daily basis, as rumors of barbarian hordes on the move reach the LMB. Ultra Matt sends out LMB agents to gain some degree of knowledge of this, although they are unable to learn anything at this time.
The Ominous Corporations of Earth (Part II) In addition to threats from afar, the threats from within continue to grow more mysterious and more deadly. With the LMB spread so thin, and concerns about Pornis and the One Called the One’s private war, Ultra Matt looks to others to learn what they can about a possible corporate takeover. Iron Rat, Freekinos, Ger, Thanagerian, Crusader and Beagle Boy re-fortify the strength of the outpost at this time.
- LardLad decides to return from his journeys to be Cobalt Kid's best man and he and the rest come back to Earth via Horace, Faraway Lad's pet Super Moby Dick of Space. He decides that any further knowledge of the mystery of Pornis and the One Called the One may be found by speaking to the young man named Eryk Davis Ester.
The Wedding of Cobalt Kid and Space Tart Despite all of the possible trouble, the LMB celebrate one of the most exciting times in its history, as two of their most beloved members finally get married! Longtime LMB sweethearts Cobalt Kid and Space Tart, had fallen back in love and together again, and this time sealed their unity with a marriage, per Space Tart’s home tradition. All the LMBers past and present that could be reached attended the wedding, and for one brief week, all seemed right in the universe for the LMB. Note- the details of the this can be found in a “The Wedding of Cobalt & Spacey”, chronicling the involvement of each individual LMBer in the ceremony.
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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posted
Year Four: Ultra Matt’s Term Part IV: Doom of the Super-Heroes
Real History Following “Hot Summer Nights”, there was a buzz around the DCMB’s Legion forum about how much fun a tag team thread could be, and the posters from “Hot Summer Nights” did not want the fun to end because a thread was deleted. Thus, MLLASH, once more, started another tag team thread in the Legion forum, and “Doom of the Super-Heroes” came into existence.
The previous players, LardLad, MLLASH, Eryk Davis Ester, Kid Prime (then Optimusmagnus), Faraway Lad, Quislet, Esq. and others jumped right back in and kept it alive. One notable thing was that this was a direct sequel to “Hot Summer Nights”, as many of the characters and subplots continued directly over—something of a first for LMB tag team stories. Even more, a large cast of characters was introduced in the two stories, and really became the ‘babies’ of this group of LMB authors. The next two stories, “Omega Man Gambit” and “Super Jailhouse of Space”, while not as large or focused as the first two, continued the saga of these specific characters.
Following the events of Hot Summer Nights, the LMB continued a series of investigations to attempt to solve some of the lingering mysteries from that long mission, including the mysterious 5 page gap ending to the mission, which most did not remember.
Throughout this story, the continuing saga of the ongoing battle between Pornis and the One Called the One rages on, with the LMB continually caught in the middle, attempting to stop both sides. Further, the mystery of the connection between LardLad and Eryk Davis Ester, as well as their connection to the big two villains, further deepens.
LardLad and Space Tart find themselves visiting an ice cream parlol, which continually fluctuates between being a ‘parlor’ and a ‘parlol’. The reason for this is a mystery that they do not understand. There, they once again meet Eryk Davis Ester, the young man from their previous mission (filename: “Hot Summer Nights”), and LardLad cannot help but want to question the young man about his past and any connections to Pornis or the (presumed) dead One Called the One.
The Ghetto 5, a new group of urban super-villains, attacks the LMB headquarters. They act under the orders of Lisp Lass, a new antagonist to the LMB who hates them for her own reasons.
LardLad, Space Tart and Eryk Davis Ester are introduced to Kid Gender Stereotype Reversal II, who comes by the parlol/parlor for some ice cream. Previously, her brother, Kid Gender Stereotype Reversal I had been an honorary member of the LMB who died on an early LMB mission when his power-belt malfunctioned (and thus created ‘the no non-powered applicant rule, unless they are a hottie’). She joins the three, as they eat ice cream.
While other LMBers such as Omega Man, Lash Lad and more are drawn into the battle with the Ghetto 5, Faraway Lad watches from faraway while drinking port, where he meets Repulso, a young applicant from the LMB who admits a powerful odor. Faraway Lad promptly rejects him.
Lisp Lass erects the cast of Facts of Life as undead, and has them attack the LMB, following the defeat of the Ghetto 5. Shady, Lost in Lust Lad, Seahorse, Looks that Kill Lad and Duplicate Man battle them.
Longtime LMB foe Salad Tosser Lord also appears on the scene, at first acting as an ally to Pornis, and then later as an ally to Lisp Lass. It becomes apparent that he is playing both sides against the middle and has his own sinister agenda, most likely involving the destruction of the LMB. He also deduces that a major part of Lisp Lass’s plan is to stop Pornis at all costs.
At the parlol/parlor, the two LMBers and their new found allies are attacked by Lucifer Lass! Lucifer Lass, back after the previous mission, looks for revenge, and has some strange connection to EDE and Lardy.
Captain Lightbulb and Kid Prime reappear on the scene. It is revealed that both of them are the sole survivors of their respective universes, which were destroyed under mysterious circumstances. After a series of interlude bombs go off again and the universe is brought on the brink of destruction, it is revealed that Captain Lightbulb had taken the power from the Hypertime Bar (from “Hot Summer Nights”) and added it to the circuitry in his speedo. Thus, Captain Lightbulb’s costume prevents the universe from being suddenly destroyed at all times.
Repulso, upset after his rejection by Faraway Lad, journeys to LMB HQ to apply there, where he walks into the battle with the LMB and the undead cast of Facts of Life. He also accidentally walks in on Penny from Facts of Life getting it on with Looks that Kill Lad (who is under her power). Eventually, they are defeated by Duplicate Man, Shady and the rest, although Repulso is no help in this.
EDE clones Esther Rolle and a gay mini EDE from the Pornisverse appear on the scene, complicating matters immensely. Further, it is revealed that Lucifer Lass is actually a female EDE from an alternate reality!
Turns You into a Country Fred appears on the scene again. It is revealed that during the 5 Page Gap, Turns You into a Country Kid was possessed by the spirit of Clothes Fall Off Fred, resulting in the creation of Turns You Into a Country Fred, who still looks just like Freddy Prinze Jr.
During the continuing series of reality altering bombs, the LMB Scooby-verse is briefly created, as Space Tart, Turns You Into a Country Fred, Omega Man, Kid Gender Stereotype Reversal II and LardLad (as Scooby Lard) try to solve a mystery. However, this is suddenly turned back to the real universe by Retcon Girl (formerly Worthless Girl from Year Three), who is disgusted by Scooby Doo references.
Retcon Girl, for her own amusement as well as Floyd’s (the former Living Retcon), decides that every time a LMBer utters the phrase “spank my ass until all the naughty comes out”, their sexual orientation (and that of their allies) will change. She then makes the first change on them. A bit later, Non-Sequitor, who also joins them on this mission, doing what he does best, accidentally utters this phrase during them back. However, much later in the mission, LardLad accidentally utters it again while trying to have Space Tart pull a knotty rope out of his ass to save the day, and it is changed one last time, before it is finally changed back at the end of the mission.
Now back in the normal universe, the LMB see that Pornis has unleashed his hordes on the universe, beginning the much anticipated attempt to overrun and destroy it. The LMBers, in their various locations, begin to battle them. Pornis himself, joined by Felice Acio and Khan E. Lingus, enters the fray.
Lash Lad and Omega Man, who are erecting a statue of fallen LMBer Frankie Muniz aka Explosion Reversal Lad (who was killed by Lucifer Lass), are suddenly attacked by Turns You into a Country Fred, who changes Omega Man back to France! His reasons are his own and he does not reveal them, although we later learn that it once again relates to his mystical nads (Note-this story is picked back up in “the Omega Man Gambit”).
During the huge battle with Pornis, the Ghetto 5 and the undead cast of Facts of Life begin to battle each other for supremacy as Lisp Lass’s top thug organization.
Finally, Lisp Lass herself appears on the scene, amidst the battle. Quickly, she takes control of both Pornis’ Hordes and the LMB, and then ventures to the parlol/parlor, where EDE, Lardy, Spacey and KGSR II are at. There, she reveals that the parlo continues to fluctuate between a ‘r’ and a ‘l’ because of a curse put on it and on Lisp Lass herself during the 5 Page Gap…as Lisp Lass reveals herself to be known other than…The One Called the One!!! Using the magic of the parlol/parlor, she sheds the hindrances on her powers, and once again becomes the One Called the One (although she maintains her lisp).
Once more, the LMB are caught in a full-fledged war between Pornis and the One Called the One, and even with the help of KGSR II and others, they are overwhelmed. Even Hummer Lass and Princess No-Protection, longtime LMB associates rush to the LMB in this time of crisis (both seem to have an affinity for “Pornis’ energies). Suddenly, Captain Lightbulb reveals his new team to the world (and allies of the LMB): The Light Brigade! Flasher, Antler Lass, Robot Woman, Dormant Damsel and Porta John ,as well as Kid Prime, they join the LMB in helping battle both Pornis and the One Called the One.
EDE, looking to help anyway he can, attempts to disguise himself to trick Pornis’s forces. The LMB tell him to get lost, but the Light Brigade recognize his spirit and offer him membership to their team, and thus, Eryk Davis Ester is inducted into the Light Brigade as “Boy of 1,000 Faces”. As the story continues, later additions to the Light Brigade show up to help out at key points, such as Coma Lad and Nobody.
During the story, the Time Mouse Trapper also makes an appearance, curious to all the huge cosmic struggles going on, as does another new enemy, Zorin Bates, the arch-nemesis of Captain Lightbulb. Mater-Bates, the man who destroyed the home universe of the Captain, becomes the main foe of the Light Brigade.
The LMB and their allies split into two squads to deal with Pornis and the One Called the One, where they are strangely joined by LMB-Doppelgangers as a strange after-effect of the parlol/parlor. Also, Mondo Joe X’s secret power is revealed to be the ability to render foes unconscious by overloading the pleasure censors of the brain—an important power as the Emerald Empress journeys to free imprisoned LMBers to have a few seconds of nirvana by having Mondo Joe use this power on her.
Eventually, the LMB are able to beat back both Lisp Lass/One Called the One, as well as Pornis, although they are unable to fully destroy or beat either of them. Pornis, defeated, retreats back to his dimension, looking to come up with a new plan. Meanwhile, the One Called the One, who regains her identity as Lisp Lass, begins scheming anew, once more joined by her ally Lucifer Lass.
At the end of the mission, the Light Brigade cement their role as allies of the LMB and go on their way, but not before Kid Prime decides to stick around and becomes a full fledged member of the LMB. Further, Kid Gender Stereotype Reversal II becomes an active LMB reservist.
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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posted
Year Four: Ultra Matt’s Term Part V: Allies of the LMB
Throughout the term of Ultra Matt, the LMB not only maintained a strong presence on the DCMBs, they began to focus most of their activity there, in addition to the Yahoo Group. The online Legion fandom community, which had also continued to grow and expand on the DCMBs, interacted with the LMBers on the DCMBs on a daily basis and the two communities began to grow together and overlap. In the coming months, when Legion fandom became slightly displaced as the boards changed, both the online Legion community and the LMB would be displaced together and the lines between the two would continue to blur.
In addition to the other online posters previously mentioned in this timeline, more posters became prominent in the online community, which in continuity would be referred to as “Allies of the LMB” or “hero community” during this period. Here are some of the posters who became “Allies of the LMB” during Ultra Matt’s term:
Note- additional insight to this topic is greatly appreciated and should be sent to the attention of Cobalt Kid.
Lightning Lad During this period, Lightning Lad joined the community, and gradually rose to prominence among the other posters.
Sanity or Madness? Another new poster to join the community, Sanity or Madness (who will also be referred to as SoM for the duration that he had that name), gradually became more involved in the community.
Fiery Jack who would later be known as A Jar of Cardinals on Rob's Boards and then Outdoor Miner on Legion World.
Rickshaw
White Raven
Tromium Crystal
Gogomuck
Sonnie Bloke
CJ Taylor
Numberonelegionfan
LoneWolfLondo
DrakeB3001
Star Boy
Omni Craig
Bubble Wrap Boy
Rokksteady
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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posted
Year Four: Ultra Matt’s Term Part VI: Adventures and Anecdotes during Ultra Matt’s Term (Part II)
- Famous Super Lawyer of Space, Quislet, Esq. begins hanging around the LMB after being introduced to them by his acquaintance Non-Sequitor. He gradually becomes a full fledged member of the team.
- An odd alt ID by the name of High Risk von Tingle encounters various LMBers.
- Another alt ID, Tarik the Mute’s Robot, also makes his presence known on Earth for a period of time. His intentions remain largely unknown to the LMB during this time.
- Leap Year Lass begins to practice and better understand the art of anagrams, and explores how the usage of this practice may be able to help the LMB.
The Barbarian Invasions The distant rumblings about possible threats from afar finally reach fruition, as the LMB become aware of Barbarian hordes that are on the move and invading the universe. Ultra Matt calls a general meeting of all LMBers present and accounted for and they start implementing the various plans that had previously been created. The universe, it appears, is more unsafe than ever previously thought, as various malcontents take pleasure in the misery and outrage of others.
Death of an LMBer With the LMB split between a variety of missions, it becomes harder and harder to keep track of the safety of the membership. Suddenly, three Naltorians predict in one day that a LMBer is about to meet his or her end that very day, and would no longer be a member of the group. Lucien Lad, Iron Rat, Crusader and Looks that Kill Lad spend the rest of the day attempting to learn which LMBer it is and how to save them, as they check in on those involved in the Pornis/One Called the One War, those involved in investigating the Corporations of Earth and those preparing to battle the Barbarian Hordes. Tragically, they are unable to learn the truth, and it is LMB founder Cobalt Kid, who was on a mere diplomatic mission, who is killed, as terrorists plant a bomb on the cruiser he was taking home. The LMB are devastated by the loss of their old friend and mourn him for a period of time. Unknown to them, Cobalt Kid was secretly kidnapped by his arch-nemesis Dr. Albert Hoffman, and once more taken to be tortured by him. They believe him dead.
- From this point forward, Space Tart goes into a literal state of shell-shock, and is unable to cope with this tragedy, after finally coming so far with Cobalt. The other LMBers, even her longtime friends like LardLad, Lash Lad, Lucien Lad and others, are unable to break through to her.
- LMBer Ger takes a leave of absence during this period, after a brief, but prominent and fun period of activity with the LMB.
- The LMB become acquainted by the super-cute fashion guru Mighty Quinn M., who lends them tips on how to better their hair and costumes.
Exit Seahorse Soon after, the LMB reach another major change in their roster and another sad day in their history. The greatly celebrated Seahorse, a LMB founder and mainstay since its inception, says his goodbye to the LMB and ends his time on the active roster list. The LMB, especially those who had gotten to know and love him so much, say their fond farewells and wish him the best of luck, hoping to one day see him return. Note- Seahorse had been a member of the LMB since its very first day and had been prominent throughout its existence. We eagerly await and hope for the day he can return to posting with us again fulltime.
The Omega Man Gambit Following the LMB Mission aptly filed as “Doom of the Super-Heroes”, the LMB continue to investigate the mysteries of the Pornis/One Called the One war. Learning that Omega Man has once again been turned into France by Turns You Into a Country Fred, they begin hunting TYIC Fred down to learn why so much attention is on Omega Man. They eventually learn that Omega Man’s mystical nads are central to the Pornis/One Called the One war, as Pornis wishes to use them to enslave the universe and the One Called the One wishes to use them to remove all male genitalia in the universe. During this investigation, Kid Prime is turned into Austria, and new LMBer Varalant is introduced to the team, and then joins them! The LMB further battle the Hordes of Pornis, as well as the agents of Lisp Lass, including Lucifer Lass, as the Light Brigade joins them! Eventually, LardLad, Eryk Davis Ester and Lucifer Lass learn the true origins of themselves, as well as Pornis and the One Called the One, shocking them completely, as it is revealed that LardLad and Eryk Davis Ester are the twin children of the two great enemies! EDE leaves the Light Brigade stunned and crazed, as LardLad attempts to deal with this problem on his own. Note- this story was an actual tag team thread that has been lost to us, and occurs between “Doom of the Super-Heroes” and “Super Jailhouse of Space”.
Hostile Takeover The LMB Espionage Squad that had remained behind on Earth (Dial H for Homo, Lost in Lust Lad, Thanagerian, Freekinos, Princess Crujectra and Lucien Lad) become aware of a plan to take over Earth that is on the Eve of being implemented. The Corporations of Earth begin making bold moves to push aside all government, and in a major tactical move, force legislation that causes Earth to cede from the UP. The majority of the LMB, knowing what is to come next, leave their residences on Earth and take up residence at the Outpost. The new leaders are elected (which will be covered in the following sections).
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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Year Four: Ultra Matt’s Term Part VII: Changes in the LMB during the Long Term of Ultra Matt
Ultra Matt was leader of the LMB for roughly seven months, from July 2002 to February 2003 which was a much longer term than usual for the LMB. In the past, there had been lapses where elections were not held on the exact schedule they were supposed to be, the most significant example being when Seahorse and Beagle Boy were elected after Newcru and Dev-Em, since there was a large period of inactivity. There really is not a specific reason for this extended term, other than the lack of an active board besides the DCMBs and the Yahoo Group put a different focus on what the LMB was into during this period, and the months slipped by without anyone realizing how long the term had become.
This seven month period, a long period of time, saw a great deal of change within the LMB. As always, the roster changed as some posters left the fold, including Galahadran and Kid Therod who had been with the LMB for most of its existence and Cobalt Kid and Greybird, who once again were absent from the LMB after a period of immense activity. Even more, the poster Seahorse, who had been with the LMB since its very first day, said his goodbyes and left the fold for a variety of personnel reasons. This was a sad day for the LMB, as Seahorse was a major poster throughout the existence of the LMB, and was partially responsible for its ‘rebirth’ during the previous year. While these changes occurred, other posters decreased their activity as well, including Shady and LardLad, two major posters and co-founders of the LMB.
As always, this change was not one-sided, as other members were introduced to the LMB and continued to join. Largely due to the increase of activity on the DCMBs and the continued overlap among the two communities, new members began to ‘officially’ join the LMB towards the end of Ultra Matt’s term and throughout the next term. Eryk Davis Ester, a longtime prominent poster on the DCMBs became an official LMBer as he continued to interact with the LMB posters there. Two posters that joined who would gradually become more prominent were Kid Prime, a new poster who first appeared as ‘Optimusmagnus’, and Varalant, another new poster.
The Yahoo Group continued to maintain a large amount of activity, although the ‘Power Months’ pretty much came to an end. This by no means suggests that there was little activity, however, as the Yahoo Group had always remained active since its inception. The artists of the LMB, like Crusader, Poverty Lad, Lucien Lad, Freekinos, Sketch Lad and others, used the Yahoo Group to continue posting the beautiful art they created (which was Legion related, LMB related, other comic material and even other great works). Many poster still used the Yahoo Group as the main place they did the majority of their posting.
The Legion forum at the DCMBs, which had become the other main home of the LMB once again, saw not only an immense activity during this period, but a continual trend of posters getting to know each other well enough that it began to truly grow as an online fan-based community. Many LMBers, such as MLLASH, Thriftshop Debutante, Sketch Lad and others, spent an equal and sometimes even more amount of time there for their posting. During the next term, these two communities would truly grow into one, which really culminates in the creation of Legion World (which will be explored later in this timeline).
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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Year Four: Ultra Matt’s Term Part VIII: The Election of Lucien Lad, Stu, Poverty Lad and Freekinos
Real History Ultra Matt’s term stretched on longer than expected (at seven months), and eventually, the LMB realized that it was time for a new leadership election. Greybird, who had served as deputy leader with Ultra Matt, had left the LMB during this period a few months earlier. The LMB held their normal election process (although the campaigning was slightly less than usual, as it was held at the Yahoo Group), and in a surprise twist, the results produced a tie for both LMB leader and LMB deputy leader! As there had been one tie in the past (in the very first election, for deputy leader, which was between Shady and Cobalt Kid), the LMB proceeded to have two leaders and two deputy leaders during the next term, as longtime LMBer Lucien Lad and previous leader Stu became the two LMB leaders and Poverty Lad and Freekinos became the two deputies. This also marks the first time that any LMB became LMB leader twice, as Stu became leader once more.
The nominees in this election were:
the Boy with Ultra Powers Crusader Iron Rat (aka Stu) Freekinos Poverty Lad Lucien Lad Looks that Kill Lad
In Continuity
As the rumors of trouble both from within and from afar continued to spread, Ultra Matt stayed leader of the LMB for slightly longer than usual to try and figure out how the LMB could stop these potential upcoming problems. With a focus on what to do in the event that such a great crisis would occur, the LMB let the election process slide by the wayside for a brief period.
Eventually, as news of the oncoming Barbarian Invasions spread and the Corporations of Earth began to make their intentions more obvious, the LMB decided that they would be fighting a war on two fronts, in addition to the ongoing struggle with Pornis and the One Called the One (who reemerged as Lisp Lass). With this multi-frontal war, the LMB decided to follow the grand tradition of the old Roman Empire, and elected two leaders and two deputy leaders to further help them deal with so many crisis. Thus, Lucien Lad and Iron Rat became co-leaders of the LMB and Poverty Lad and Freekinos became deputy leaders during this Roman Era of LMB leadership.
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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Year Four: Ultra Matt’s Term Part IX: The LMB under Ultra Matt
Here is the LMB roster at the exact time that Ultra Matt’s term as leader came to an end:
The Boy with Ultra Powers (leader) Lash Lad LardLad Shadowplay in Candlelight Lass Crusader Rhino Beagle Boy Sketch Lad Looks that Kill Lad Space Tart Lucien Lad Faraway Lad Princess Crujectra Iron Rat (aka Stu) Raging Bull Lost in Lust Lad (aka Terrence) Duplicate Man Homecoming Queen (aka Amber) Poverty Lad Dial H for Homo (aka Mart) Umber (& the Boyz) Omega Man Leap Year Lass (aka Thriftshop Debutante) Mondo Joe X Freekinos Thanagerian Senior Widebottom Triad Purple, Triad Orange, Triad Nuetral Eryk Davis Ester (although not officially in continuity) Kid Prime Non-Sequitor Quislet, Esq. Varalant
*note- the position of Deputy Leader remained vacant following the departure of Grey Birdboy midway through this term.
LMB Active Reservists: Mystery Lad LMB Spectre Kid Gender Stereotype Reversal II Maxx
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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Year Four: The Roman Tetrarchy Term Part I: Endings and Beginnings: An Era of Immense Transition
When Ultra Matt’s term came to an end in the beginning of February 2003 and the new term began with two co-leaders (Lucien and Stu) and two deputies (Pov and Freekinos), the final term of the LMB’s Year Four continuity began. This would be the biggest era of change in the history of the LMB and in the history of online Legion fandom. Throughout the next few months, change was not only constant, it was enough to truly shake up both communities—to the point, where at the end of the road, one stronger community emerged after a variety of transitions from board to board.
By the change in leadership, LMB continuity reflects the beginning rumblings of change (i.e. the Barbarian Invasions and Corporate Takeover of Earth), however, the change was more sudden in reality. The posters on the DCMB’s suddenly got wind one day that they would be reformatting the message boards, in a way that would make them much harder to use and much more bland than ever before. As posters waited for this to occur, it became apparent that many were not really prepared to stick around in light of all this change.
For the LMB, the only other main home they had was the Yahoo Group, which as ever, remained the home base for LMB shenanigans, so such a major change on the DCMB Legion board largely affected them as much as it did the general online Legion community. Further, the two communities had grown so close together into such a tight overlap that it had gotten to the point that such a major change to one directly mirrored a major change to another.
A solution was presented in the idea to move to “Rob’s Boards”, the message boards of the then moderator at the DCMB’s. Although unsure of such a major transition, the message board posters were so disgusted with the new format of the DCMBs that they largely abandoned them and moved on to this new message board. At first, it worked very well for them, and they received their own forum, even picking their own moderators. However, the time there did not end well, and the majority of posters left Rob’s Boards as quickly as they could after the debacle there (more on this will be covered in each appropriate section).
From there, the LMB and the general online community, which gradually became more and more the same thing, moved to a new home, Ships ‘N Giggles, which was hosted by the then Legion comic book occasional art-team of Tom Feister and Tony Scott. The LMB and many posters stayed there for a time and tried to once again salvage something resembling the old home of the DCMBs, although things never seemed to quite fit.
Finally, a new solution was presented in the form of Legion World. However, that will be covered in the next section (as I let the anticipation build).
Throughout this period of great transition, the LMB endured as always, moving with the general online community from board to board. However, another major change occurred in boards, among the Yahoo Group. Quite suddenly, Yahoo changed its policies and the option of posting artwork online in posts to groups was taken away—creating a total vacuum among the various comic book Yahoo Groups, as this was a major function of them. Some Groups, such as LegionPics, undertook a major campaign to save most of the artwork that had been posted there. The aforementioned LegionPics had nine specific posters trying to salvage all they could, headed by longtime LMBer Greybird, in a truly heroic mission.
The LMB Yahoo Group then saw the beginning of a major decline of activity, which was a first in LMB history. The Yahoo Group would slowly gather less and less traffic, which would culminate in the creation of Legion World. As ever, it would remain the true ‘home base’ of the LMB and main forum for LMB specific related issues, but the loss of posting artwork led to a major decline in activity.
With the loss of the old DCMB’s, the catastrophe at Rob’s Boards and then the quick transition at Ship’s ‘N Giggles, as well as the gradual decline at the Yahoo Group, the LMB once more went through a period of searching for a home, and this time went through a larger series of transitions in a quicker period of time than ever before.
In addition to all of this, the major changes among the LMB roster became more apparent than ever before. Once the major transitions began to occur, more and more posters decided to decrease their posting time, and a lot stopped posting all together. Once Legion World was created, many posters created an account just to be sure they were over there, and then stopped posting all together for long periods of time. The period of transition often left many disenchanted with online posting. Further, some elected to stay behind at the DCMBs, such as Terrence and Mart, and some did not make it for quite a long period of time.
[ March 06, 2006, 07:39 AM: Message edited by: Cobalt Kid ]
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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Year Four: The Roman Tetrarchy Term Part II: The Super Jailhouse of Space
Real History The Super Jailhouse of Space was the third incredibly large tag team thread that followed in the tradition of "Hot Summer Nights" and "Doom of the Super-Heroes". In fact, you can even say the three are a trilogy, although one would have to include "The Omega Man Gambit" (a shorter tag thread that never really took off). The Super Jailhouse of Space has its own history, as it began on Rob's Damn Boards, carried over to Ships 'N Giggles and then eventually made its way to Legion World, where it was finished months later. The tag thread itself mirrors the transition that was felt during this period.
Even though it was finished months after the period it occurs in, it remains during this point in LMB continuity (where some aspects of the story were tweaked for the timeline, i.e. the removal of Cobalt Kid from the story, Varalant was always there, no need to return, etc.).
Lucien Lad, co-leader of the LMB, takes over a large portion of the team to take care of various problems throughout the universe. He, Raging Bull and former LMB enemy now turned pseudo ally Hummer Lass, stay behind on Fornicatia after completing an important mission there. However, they are soon shocked to learn that the planet has secretly been taken over the LMB’s arch-rivals, the Anti-LMB (from Year Two!), now led by the treacherous Behind-You Boy. Complicating things, they have allied themselves with LMB Nemesis the One Called the One and the villainous Odran, proprietor of the Super Jailhouse of Space!
Lash Lad, who was previously with the three LMBers, is suddenly captured on his return to Earth and brought to the Super-Jailhouse where he meets several fellow prisoners who had had their spirits crushed by Odran's torture, including the once foul-mouthed Potty-Mouth Master (a clone of LMB ally Eryk Davis Ester) who was now a nervous shell of his former self and a wretch of a man claiming to have once been called "Boy Beautiful". In an attempt to free himself from this horrible place, Lash activated the special LMB signal device in his ass.
Responding to Lash’s call, Umber teleported to the signal device at the Super Jailhouse. Soon after, she is helped by LMBer Senor Widebottom, who was also a prisoner of the Super-Jailhouse. Hiding in Senior Widebottom’s humorously oversized pantaloons, Umber is suddenly betrayed by the prisoner known as Obvious Traitor Boy, who is suddenly bitten by a radioactive mongoose and taken to the infirmary. However, Umber and Senior Widebottom are soon captured and then hideously victimized by Odran’s super-fatassing power, while Lash Lad is taken to the anal probe lab.
Lash Lad escaped the anal probe lab when his ass alarm was accidentally activated upon removal, interrupting one of Lardlad's sex romps to teleport him to the lab. He quickly dispatched Odran's thugs and freed Lash, only to teleport back to his activities. Unknown to Lardy, the villain Salad-Tosser Lord had also been transported to the lab, via a stolen LMB communicator he had acquired during a previous adventure. Lash Lad quickly defeats Salad-Tosser Lord and drags his unconscious body to the main cell of the Super-Jailhouse, and dispatches Odran's clones in the room, before Odran himself can react.
Meanwhile, Leap Year Lass, who had also received the distress signal, had assembled a team to rescue Lash Lad, consisting of Space Tart, Beagle Boy, Omega Man, Faraway Lad, Grey Birdboy, and Shady. They had to delay their mission to help Lash, however, to hold scheduled LMB tryouts. The tryouts, which featured applicants Penis-Eradicator Lad, Nads-Kicker Lass, and Bowel Burst Boy, was interrupted by an attack by what seemed to be the LMB's allies, the Light Brigade. With the help of the applicants, the LMB defeated the Light Brigade, only to discover that they were in fact clones of the Light Brigade created on Fornicatia by the evil Behind-You Boy.
The LMBers quickly admitted Penis-Eradicator Lad and Nads-Kicker Lass, who, unknown to them, were secretly spies sent by the One Called the One, into their ranks, and were about to rescue Lash Lad, when suddenly a call came in from Austria (which Kid Prime was currently in the form of) that Entropy Spinach had been sighted. They quickly decided Lash would have to handle himself, and departed for Austria.
Meanwhile, Lash Lad and the other prisoners in the Super-Jailhouse stood facing Odran. By taunting Potty-Mouth Master, Lash restored his vile tongue, which led to his angrily rushing Lash, who quickly stepped out of the way, leading to a collision between Potty-Mouth Master's super-charged mouth and Odran's crotch. The resulting explosion teleported Grey Birdboy from the LMB shuttle that had just reached Austria to the Super-Jailhouse, causing the LMB shuttle to crash in Austria.
Meanwhile, back on Fornicatia, Hummer Lass and Lucien Lad had made a strange discover of an ancient artifact, the Emerald Dildo of Ekkron! They found themselves strangely attracted to one another, and gave into their desires and a few time-distorting flashes of Emerald Energy later, found themselves the proud parents of twin calves, soon changed to normal babies by that ever-beautiful and resourceful Emerald Dildo fairy!
Meanwhile, the anti-LMB had begun phase two of their hideous plan, the invasion of Canada! The army of Fornicatia, known as the Whore Horde, quickly overwhelmed new LMBer Fat Cramer and LMB ally the Labradorian.
Meanwhile, the evil Lisp Lass watches all of the various activities from a base on the far side of the planetoid on which the Super-Jailhouse is located. Realizing that Lisp Lass was a previous identity of the One Called the One, and could not possibly be the same Lisp Lass, Rody the Super-Rat, has been spying on Lisp Lass for his own mysterious reasons. He tries to contact the LMB super-pets for assistance, though the signal was instead intercepted by LMB ally Turns-You-Into-a Country Fred, who contacts LMB HQ for help.
Leap Year Lass, still on duty at LMB HG, realizes that the only way she can deal with all the crises that are presently going on is to split herself into numerous alternate IDs, and send them in pairs to the various crisis points. So LYL and Tarik the Mute's android teleport to the Super-Jailhouse; Mekt Ranzz and Quinn M, Only Child teleport to Fornicatia; Society Girl and Truckstop Debutante teleport to TYIACF’s spaceship; and Triad's Neutral, Purple, and Orange teleport to Canada, along with Hi-Risk von Tingle.
LYL and TtMA nearly turn the tide against Odran, except for the unexpected return of the radioactive-mongoose charged Obvious Traitor Boy, who disposes of everyone present, takes over the Super-Jailhouse, and straps Lash Lad, Grey Birdboy, and Leapy into Dream Machines. Leapy awakes from her dream to realize what was going on, teleports out of the machine, tries to find what happened to fatassed Umber and Senor Widebottom, and so manages to locate the other prisoners in the mines. Just as Boy Beautiful is about to reveal the location of her friends, Obvious Traitor Boy returns and restores his good looks, making him switch his loyalties to Obvious Traitor Boy. Even the presence of the Light Brigade, who had been sent to the Super-Jailhouse after being cloned by the anti-LMB on Fornicatia, fails to turn the tide, because most of them fall prey to Boy Beautiful's boyish good looks.
Meanwhile, the Boyz, having psychically felt Umber's super-fatassing, began scurrying the galaxy for the one person who could save her from this fate, her parallel-universe counterpart Amber, who they tracked to a bar in the far corned of the universe. They found Amber, who dissed them in favor of leaving with her new girlfriend, who appeared to be Jennifer Anniston but is apparently Eryk Davis Ester's parallel-universe gender-reversed evil clone Lucifer Lass.
LardLad, finally putting on his pants, decides the best course of action is to find Eryk Davis Ester, whose true connection to he had only just learned. EDE had previously learned his true origins in “The Omega Man Gambit”, and stormed out of the mission and quit the Light Brigade, after the information appeared to have pushed him over the edge. The rest of the LMB were clueless to the true connection of Lard Lad, Eryk Davis Ester, Pornis, the One Called the One and Lucifer Lass.
As it turns out, EDE had indeed begun to act strange in light of the information he recently received, and appeared to have gone slightly insane! Even more, he strangely began exhibiting never before seen powers! Further, it appeared that Eryk Davis Ester, through his strange family tree had an even more potent connection to the universe than he ever thought—and that all his various clones and parallel selves were just doppelgangers that had been split off from him previously. Lashing out at the world in a crazed frenzy, EDE, assuming the name Eryk Prime, begins ‘re-absorbing’ all of his ‘other selves’, destroying them instantly: quickly, Potty Mouth Master, gay mini-EDE and Ester Rolle are destroyed and absorbed by Eryk Prime. Even stranger, he begins to absorb all of the various alt IDs that Leap Year Lass had sent to help the various LMBers.
Meanwhile, gigantic pruning sheers appeared out of thin space and were about to destroy the Super Jailhouse, when more energy from the Potty Mouth/Odran crotch collision transported them to Austria, where they destroyed the Entropy Spinach and turned Austria back to Kid Prime. LardLad quickly rescues Kid Prime, as the two then travel to Faraway Lad’s secret faraway room (in Horace the whale, although this isn’t mentioned in the story), where they meet up with Amber and Lucifer Lass, whom Lardy has forged an uneasy alliance with to solve the Eryk Prime/Lisp Lass mystery (as Lisp Lass cannot possibly be the One Called the One). Lardy explains that he secretly sent Senior Widebottom to the Super Jailhouse weeks earlier to feign getting caught, so they can use his humorously oversized pantaloons to travel there (as the force field prevents all teleportation there after Lardy’s last appearance), as they were big enough to have a secret entrance to right outside Faraway Lad’s door. They soon appear in the Super Jailhouse and free the super-fatassed Umber, after Lardy takes all the excess fat unto himself.
Eryk Prime next appears on Fornicatia, where we find that Hummer Lass and Lucien Lad have fallen completely in love and have strangely had to twin babies. Eyrk Prime quickly reveals that this is just an illusion as a gay man and an ex-oral-only prostitute would never have sex. However, their two twins are actually the creation of his two new servants: Calamity King and Lester Spiffany! Even worse, Eryk Prime then shows the true side of his power and villainy, and completely destroys the planet Fornicatia! The Anti-LMB, led by Behind You Boy, quickly escape, shocked at the level of evil a LMB ally would show, as Lucien Lad, Hummer Lass, Raging Bull, Mekt Ranzz and Might Quinn M. struggled to find a way to safety, until they are quickly saved by the Emerald Dildo Fairy.
Eventually, all of the LMBers reunite on the Super Jailhouse of Space and dispatch Odran, completely shutting it down. The one final battle takes place against Obvious Traitor Boy, who has the LMB on the ropes, until Bowels Bursting Boy, a new LMB recruit in training, is able to save them—although sacrificing himself in the process and killing Obvious Traitor Boy. LMBer Varalant catches Penis Eradicator Lad and Nads Kicker Lass (agents of the One Called the One) and has Turns You into a Country Fred change them to Austria and Hungary (where they then go on to reform the Austro-Hungarian Empire).
With Odran defeated, Eryk Prime emerges as the true threat to the universe and the LMB, now joined by the Light Brigade and Lucifer Lass, attempt to put some sense into their old friend. Further, Lisp Lass begins her own evil plans, as she begins attacking the LMB and Eryk Prime, mirroring the former battles of Pornis and the One Called the One.
Lisp Lass launches her attack on an unsuspecting LMB and Eryk Prime and the two villains engage in a huge battle. Suddenly, Rody the Super Rat, who had been following Lisp Lass for some time, emerges and leaps into the battle, blasting away Lisp Lass’ façade and revealing her true identity: Blok the Rock, the former member of the LMB Super-Pets!!!
As Blok and Eryk Prime engaged in battle, Lardy turned to the Emerald Dildo Fairy, who quickly produced the Emerald Schlong of Ekron (which he had once wielded in the past), which he used by spraying Blok and Eryk Prime down with an Emerald Shower! The Emerald Shower quickly washed away all traces of Lisp Lass and Blok the Rock returned to his former self. And, for the first time ever in LMB history, the LMB actually had evidence that Blok had actual sentience and wasn’t just a rock!
Eryk Prime, after being stunned, is quickly taken by Lucifer Lass and LardLad, who engulfs them all in the Lardforce, blocking the LMB from seeing them. There, the three explore the true nature of their origins and connections to Pornis and the One Called the One, and allow Eryk to come to terms with his past and his relation to such cosmic forces in the universe. Finally, EDE calms down, and Lucifer Lass reveals that the evil of Eryk Prime was actually the lingering essence of Pornis, who had transferred a large portion of his evil to both EDE and Lardy!
Lardy, not wanting his brother to have the same evil side that he knows he possesses (after all of these years), uses the Lardforce to absorb any of Pornis’ lingering evil into himself. EDE is now cured and no longer feels evil at all—and is finally at peace. Lucifer Lass strangely appears to have some sort of quiet understanding with the two (who are really like her brothers in a way), and she departs from them.
After the battle: 1. The LMB reaffirm their long-standing order that the Super-Pets should be disbanded, as they don’t want to see their pets sacrifice themselves. Blok the Rock is readmitted as a member before this happens.
2. Eryk Davis Ester, now sane again and at peace, and having been an ally of the LMB for four very major adventures, is formally inducted into the group as a full-time member of the LMB.
3. LardLad is a little surer of his origins and questions if his connection to Pornis is part of the reason he has always felt subtle inclinations to the dark side (and why every alternate reality version of Lardy has always been evil).
4. The LMB finally put the long-standing cases of Pornis, The One Called the One and Lucifer Lass to a close for the time being, knowing full well that the story is most likely not over.
The LMBers under Lucien Lad's direction in this portion of the universe return home to the Outpost to see what the other three-fourths of the team have done in their absence.
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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Year Four: The Roman Tetrarchy Term Part III: Adventures and Anecdotes during the Roman Tetrarchy Term
At the onset of this term of leadership, the LMB finds itself with numerous threats coming in every direction. To deal with this, a new type of leadership is chosen: two Leaders and two Deputy Leaders of the LMB. The LMBers are scattered accordingly to each leader and the team is pulled in various directions. Mid-way through several rough ordeals and still reeling from the many departures of long-time LMBers, including the much beloved Seahorse, as well as the death of Cobalt Kid, the LMB enter a period of immense hardship.
- Fat Cramer debuts as a brand new superstar member of the LMB! The first feline full-fledged LMBer, she quickly wins the respect of her fellow LMBers and the feline community.
- The LMB become acquainted by the ever majestic and aloof Mekt Ranzz who impresses a significant portion of the membership (and entices a few others). Although they offer him membership to join, he declines.
- At this point, Lucien Lad pulls a significant portion of the LMB away to deal with the crisis in “The Super Jailhouse of Space”.
- The Barbarian Invasions begin getting closer to parts of the UP that the LMB and the Allies of the LMB inhabit. Iron Rat, the other co-leader of the LMB, authorizes Poverty Lad and Freekinos, the two deputy leaders to take a very large portion of the membership to deal with these various threats.
- With the departure of a large portion of the LMB, it appears the corporations of Earth are prepared to start making bold moves. Iron Rat takes the remaining LMBers in this section of the universe to Earth to investigate (Lost in Lust Lad, Crusader, Dial H for Homo, Looks that Kill Lad and Princess Crujectra).
Enemies External Poverty Lad and Freekinos travel to the far reaches of the universe with Ultra Matt, Rhino, Beagle Boy, Sketch Lad, Duplicate Man, Mondo Joe X and Thanagerian, who are the only active LMBers not currently occupied. To their horror, they learn that the Barbarian Invasions are far closer to the civilized universe than previously thought, and the armies are far larger as well. Even more, the armies are not actually one main enemy, but a plethora of invading forces, each one vying for their own section of the universe. In addition, the term ‘Barbarian’ hardly applies, as some races are very sophisticated and incredibly efficient and dangerous. The LMBers pitch in wherever they can to help, and are quickly joined by some of their newfound Allies from the Hero Community, as well as the Light Brigade and Kid Gender Stereotype Reversal II. As time goes on, the battle proves to be impossible, as the enemies are too numerous. The only thing that could stop them is an organized, united universe.
Enemies Internal Iron Rat leads the espionage investigations of the Corporations of Earth, and is aided by LMB Reservist Mystery Lad, along with LMBers Lost in Lust Lad, Looks that Kill Lad, Dial H for Homo, Princess Crujectra and Crusader. Their investigations prove fruitless however, as a full-fledged Corporate Takeover of Earth quickly unfolds and the corporations make their move. The LMB defend the denizens of Earth as best they can, but are unable to fight back the mega Corporations of Earth that control all aspects of society. A mass exodus off Earth begins, as many members of the larger Hero Community leave Earth for the first time. Some heroes decide to stay to stick it out, like Blockade Boy, and are wished well on their way.
The Schism between Earth and the LMB It soon appears that the LMB will have no place on Earth. The Corporations of Earth engineer a massive coup among Earthgov and Earthgov quickly cedes from the United Planets. Fearing what is to come next, Iron Rat and Crusader decide on issuing a direct order that all LMBers are too pull out of Earth and remove themselves strictly to the LMB Outpost (which hovers near Earth), along with any loved ones that wish to come (for example, Crusader’s boyfriend Maxx). At this point, LMBers Lost in Lust Lad and Dial H for Homo, long-time inhabitants of Earth, decide that they will remain behind and act as agents of the LMB on Earth in the upcoming times of trouble, no matter what happens. They bid their friends farewell, and remove their active status from the LMB.
Historical Note- At this point, the DC Boards began to come to an end (please see the next section for the real history of this event), and the two LMBers Mart and Terrence, both longtime posters on the DC Boards, elected to stay behind and continue to post there.
Refugees With the universe in a total state of panic, the various teams of LMBers begin to meet back up. Eryk Davis Ester, who was recently Eryk Prime, begins to emerge as a major leader among the LMB. Many of the Allies of the LMB, such as Lightning Lad and Fiery Jack, begin pitching in and spending more time with the LMB. On the return trip to Earth, both Lucien Lad’s team and the Deputy Leaders teams become aware that the LMB must now report directly to the Outpost and no longer go to Earth. After such an onslaught of negative recent events, Shady takes this opportunity to take a leave of absence from the team for some time off. The entire active membership of the LMB, with some of their allies, arrives at the Outpost to decide their next move, when they learn that Earthgov has issued them a direct order: ‘Disband Now, or Be Subject to Arrest’.
Note- These events carry directly into “LMB: Lost”, which shall be discussed in detail in the next three sections.
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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Year Four: The Roman Tetrarchy Term Part IV: The End of the DC Boards
In the Spring of 2003, the DC Boards as the posters there knew them, came to an end.
After many years of reliability and a birthplace for serious and fun discussions, the DC Message Boards underwent a new policy that completely changed the format of all of the discussion boards. The new format, to keep in line with the bureaucratic order of uniformity, was dull, harder to use and quite frankly nowhere near as fun. This change was so potent, that many longtime posters on the DCMBs left behind posting all together, and more than one that stayed considered doing the same thing.
This affected not only the LMB, but the online Legion fan community at large. Ever since the change two years earlier, the Legion forum had maintained a steady degree of activity and had grown into a forum with a unique, distinct personality. Even before that, when it was two boards (the LSH and L* Boards), this was a predominant attribute. The LMB, which had been through a wide variety of homes throughout its existence, once more faced the reality that they were losing the message board that they most frequented and once again would be without a home. However, this time the decision to look for a new home did not lie strictly among LMBers on the Yahoo Group, but became a DCMB board wide discussion.
The solution, which was eventually reached, would be to move to the personnel message boards of the DCMB Moderator, Rob Kamphausen, who gladly welcomed all the posters there in. While many elected to stay behind on the DCMBs (i.e. Terrence and Mart), a large majority pushed to continue on at “Rob’s Damn Boards”. This change was not an easy transition however, as many posters were lost in limbo, unsure of where everyone had gone to.
While many posters from the DCMBs came to Rob’s Damn Boards, the Legion-oriented posters in particular clung together, both LMB and non-LMB, and looked to gain their own forum on Rob’s Board’s. Eventually, after proving that they could keep enough of a flow of steady traffic, they were granted this. This transition to Rob’s Boards was by no means easy, as the ‘anything goes’ attitude there was fun to many, although a turn off to equally as many. Without anywhere to post, however, this was pretty much a moot point.
For a few months, online Legion fandom (or at least, the portion of it that pertains to this narrative) found a new home on Rob’s Damn Boards. Among this group, was a smaller group of posters that were known as the LMB. However, the lines between the LMB and the rest of the posters, which had already begun to blur quite a bit in recent months, now became almost unrecognizable. The two groups, which were never truly distinct to begin with, had really begun to merge into one larger group.
This new home, however, was not destined to last. After only a brief period there, the new home for this community exploded into a frenzy and left many with a disgusted taste in their mouths. Since the point of this entire history is to focus on the enjoyable moments, there once again is really no need to go into the details here. But after a short respite, the community found itself at odds with another group on Rob’s Damn Boards, which resulted in a major decrease in enjoyment, and then a mass exodus from Rob’s Boards for the majority of posters.
Once again, the LMB and the community were without a home. However, the time spent looking for, finding and then losing a second online ‘home’ to post on, had furthered an important trend—the continual melding of the posters (including those in the LMB) into a true ‘community’. Once more, a new home would be found, and once more it would be brief (and will be covered in two sections)…however, the community now existed. All it needed as a home.
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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Year Four: The Roman Tetrarchy Term Part V: LMB Lost
In Continuity:
After losing many members, and surrounded by threats both external and internal, the LMB called an emergency meeting to discuss the next plan of action. Exhausted, unsure and fearful of what was to come, they had some degree of relief in knowing that many of their allies had joined them in this meeting. The Barbarians had invaded the universe and were pillaging, and Earth had been completely taken over by the Corporations. The Edict came down from Earthgov: Disband the LMB or be Subject to Arrest.
1. By Earth Betrayed
“No” Without much debate, the LMB knew what their response would have to be. A stern ‘No’ was sent back to Earthgov with a firm “then come and get us.” Immediately, the LMB sent out a general alarm to all past LMBers to answer, in hopes that their numbers would be strengthened.
The Exodus of Alt IDs Almost immediately, a propaganda campaign was launched on Alt IDs throughout the Earthgov section of the universe, sponsored by the Corporations now in control. The LMB immediately feared for the safety of their various alt ID members. After much discussion and heated arguments, a conclusion was reached: Raging Bull would take Homecoming Queen, Umber & the Boyz, Non-Sequitor, Senior Widebottom and the 3 Triads to somewhere safe for Alt IDs, were he would be joined by other alt IDs associated with the LMB, such as Rody the Super-Rat and Bucky the Super-Beaver. These LMBers reluctantly, and quite sadly, left the fold. Two Alt IDs that refused to leave were Space Tart and Princess Crujectra, who would not allow themselves to leave at this time.
The Return of Loser Lad When it happened, it shocked them, and gave them just the burst of confidence they needed. Loser Lad, who had been absent from the LMB since the end of its second year, had finally made his triumphant return to the LMB. At a time of major upheaval and insecurity, Loser Lad’s return triggered the will to fight that the LMB needed.
The Return of Grey Birdboy Another LMBer answered the call, and once more, Grey Birdboy returned to the fold, rejoining his comrades. His words were simple: “if this is the end of all things, then I will end it with all of you.”
The Great Rift The Corporations of Earth, making their own preparations for the Barbarian Invasions, had commissioned a series of highly theorized and untested scientific creations to help strengthen their arsenal. With the LMB now pitted against them, they unleashed one of their most potent, although it had never been tested. The Anti-Matter Cannon, a ferocious weapon, was positioned against the LMB. Before it could be used however, the LMB attacked Earthgov and tore it apart. It exploded, however, and a major rift opened up: the entire universe, it appeared, was to be sucked into the horrific vacuum.
The Death of Space Tart By large, things looked grim and there was not much time. Allies of the LMB joined them, as they fought to keep the vacuum from destroying everything. It was Space Tart, the LMB Bombshell that made the final move. Flying into the rift she used her awesome powers to pull things from people’s asses on the universe itself! Throwing Eryk Davis Ester and LardLad back among the rest of the LMB, Space Tart cried out that she’d be reunited with Cobalt Kid, and saved the universe—although she was soon completely consumed by Entropy. The longtime LMBer and much beloved friend had died.
Lost With the Rift closed and the universe saved, the LMB found themselves being sucked into the vacuum, unsure of where they would end up. Space Tart’s sacrifice ensured their safety, although the majority of the LMB and a large portion of their allies disappeared.
Dispersed throughout the Universe The majority of the LMB were believed gone and maybe dead, although some were left behind. In addition to those not on the active roster, Varalant, Mondo Joe X and Thanagerian did not join the LMB to the Anti-Matter Universe, and were left, like many others, to fend for themselves in the newly dangerous old universe.
2. The Anti-Matter Universe
LMB Lost The LMBers reemerged in a new universe, the Anti-Matter Universe. It was dark, harsh and provided no comfort, and almost immediately, they were attacked by the denizens there. Counting on one another, they pulled tightly together to defend themselves.
The Home of the Anti-Moderator Very soon, the LMB learned that they were now inhabitants of the Anti-Moderator’s homeworld. Still feeling bitter hatred towards him after his heinous acts on the Remarkable Worlds of Phineas B. Fuddle, the LMB mentally prepared for an upcoming battle.
To Build a Community Struggling to adapt to this new world, in addition to feelings of being lost and possibly never going home, the LMB and their allies began to form their own community. This community became one that was not strictly LMB dominated, but equally run by both. New ‘Chiefs’ were picked among the group to be Lightning Lad, Eryk Davis Ester, Lash Lad and Leap Year Lass.
Allies Many that were formally not official LMBers began to act in this capacity, although there were no formal inductions or anything of that sort. Nightcrawler, Matlock, Man from Cargg and others quickly fulfilled this capacity. Fiery Jack undertook the new moniker of A Jar of Cardinals, using his knowledge of espionage to make this new identity work to his advantage. Longtime LMBer Mystery Lad (the former founder Tsarin Lad), who had served as a reserve member for some time, also joined this community and rejoined his old colleagues as a full-time member again.
The Naturals Most dangerous of all in this new universe was the Naturals, the personal bodyguard of the enemy. Prone to fighting and violence, they looked for reasons to attack, causing a gradual animosity build-up between the two camps.
The Changing Roster of the LMB Those in the LMB at this point often reflected on how much had changed in so little time. In recent months, a major portion of the membership had left, including Shady and Seahorse, and both Cobalt Kid and Space Tart had died. Loser Lad and Grey Birdboy had returned, while almost all of the Alt Ids had dispersed. New members Eryk Davis Ester and Kid Prime quickly became prominent, as those that were once new in years two and three, such as Poverty Lad, Iron Rat and Ultra Matt reflected on how they had truly become ‘old school’.
3. War
The Destruction of the Community The tension with the Naturals finally burst forth, as the Natruals invaded the community and attempted to destroy it completely. They nearly succeeded.
The battle with the Naturals Immediately, the LMB and their Allies fought back and a bloody melee ensued. In the end, the LMB was victorious, but realized that they would have to leave the Anti-Matter Universe as soon as possible.
Exit Omega Man Omega Man, who had been a member of the LMB for the last year, departed from the team at this time, electing to stay behind in the Anti-Matter Universe.
Lo, the Anti-Moderator With the LMB immensely close to escape, the Anti-Moderator finally appeared before them to destroy them. Years of hurt and anguish came rushing back and a major battle exploded. In the end, the Anti-Moderator was not only defeated, but finally destroyed. However, some of those that fought so powerfully in the battle, such as LardLad, Duplicate Man, Loser Lad, Freekinos and others, were left with serious injuries that hindered their ability to fight on.
The Return Using the genius of Mystery Lad, newcomer ally Sanity or Madness?, a bright young superstar named Juan and a few others, the LMB threw together a rag-tag contraption to attempt to return home. Praying for deliverance, the device worked, and restored the LMB to their universe.
Hunted, External and Internal The Naturals, outraged at the destruction of their liege, organized the largest army ever assembled and prepared to march on into the Positive Matter Universe. They began hunting the LMB. Further, the LMB’s return to the positive matter universe meant a return to being hunted by the authorities that they once served. Once more, they were on the run (this will be covered in the next two sections).
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