posted
the Hootchy Hut. And you know what that means?"
"Gasp!" gasped the assembled LMBPers.
"Yes" went on the Computo Parton, "it means that they'll almost certainly have caught most of the rest of the hetero male LMBPers with their pants down. Literally. And not in any shape to stand up for a little while. If you get my drift. What it being the Hootchy Hut and all. With, you know. Well *you* know? You *do* know don't you, what happens there, with all the hootchy and all the girls and the 'wahey!' and the removing of items of clothing and provocative gyrating (and that's just the customers)."
"We know what you mean" said Fat Cramer.
"I don't" said EDE, "but if you really need me to I could go and investigate and see what you do mean."
"That won't be nessecary", said Cher suddenly, striking a pose as her new wig tumbled round her shoulders in dark shiny curls and her cleavage sparkled with even more sequins that Lucien Lad wore on an average day, "There are more important things to do than that. First we need to go and get the LMBPers who are still currently frozen in time in the monitor room (they being Lucien Lad, Cobie, Lash Lad, Umber and possibly Loser Lad since he was there before but now appears to be drunk here right where the potentially crucial plot point in and.... oh my! Do you think there's a possibility that this *isn't* Loser and is in fact someone pretending to be him just so they can get to the Hostess Pie Deity and attack us from within?"
Evereyone turned to look at Loser, who promptly was sick down his front and staggered backwards into a wall, whereupon he slid slowly down into a heap on the floor giggling and occasionally burping.
"Nope." said Miss Terious, "That's Loser for sure."
"Yeah, fair enough" admitted Cher, "no-one's *that* good at impressions. Which means the Loser in the monitor room is the fake and we must go there *now*"
So with that...
-------------------- Truth and Justice shall Prevail! (Unless Tamper Lad Screws it up...)
From: Manchester, UK | Registered: Jul 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
So with that Cher used her low-level teleportation powers to subtley bring herself, Miss Terious, EDE, Dolly Computo and Fat Cramer to the monitor room.
"You have teleporation powers?" said Miss T to Cher.
"Yeah, but only low-level, hun," replied the Diva, "you should see my fireball shooting powers!"
"Shh, sugah" said Dolly Computo, "watch on!"
Cobalt and Lardy were watching on as Lucien was showing Umber how to pull her skirt up just a little bit (but not too much) to give that sweet but ultra sexy look. "Can't look..." said Cobalt, "...she may be my daughter..."
"Don't be such a prude, dude!" yelled Lardy. "Right, Lou? Lou?"
Lardy turned to see Loser Lad melt away to the floor. In his place stood the LMB arch-nemesis, Catherine the Great! And she held a big horse whip!
"Prepare to die, LMBers. I've thrown my lot in with their invaders and their surprise leader, and I'm going to have my way with all of you now!"
Just then...
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
| IP: Logged |
"Wait just a second, hon!" The decades-old star declared, calling the attention of Catherine and the other LMBes. "I know how to stop you!"
"Oh, yes?" Catherine asked, cracking her whip for a good show.
Cher hesitated. "Uh...well, I did earlier. Hold on, let me think..."
"Cher!" squealed Miss T, "The fireball powers!"
Cher looked delighted. "Of course! Hold on guys and gals..." Cher's eyes lit up, but unfortunately low-level fireball powers are just no good! Cher ends up burning her own hands, the sheer heat and pain sending her back and the ghastly sight of being a superstar with deformed hands sends her into a faint! Not to mention, she falls over atop EDE!
"Jeepers! Of all the luck." Eryk sighed, pinned beneath the diva. Luckilly, the use of the word 'jeepers' heralds EDE's pet Luck Lord back.
Catherine laughed at the proceedings, until she notices the new arrival. "*gasp* Luck can't be on my side when it's on theirs!" Using her whip to stun Lucien Lad, she dives for Umber. Umber let out a shriek as evil Catherine held her in front, whip poised above her with a hostage.
"Umber! We have to do something, Cobie!" Lardy declared, but the young Cobalt hesitated.
"I know! But we have to make sure Umber stays safe!" Cobalt declares, Miss Terious and Dolly Computo joining beside him. Fat Cramer rushes to Lucien's side, to help him up.
"Sorry, LMBers, but I have to go now! I have a hankering for...hmm...fruit pie! Of the giant Hostess variety! Stop me and this little vixen gets it!" Catherine the Great cackled, bounding for an exit. Umber is dragged behind screaming, horse-whip cracking above her head.
"Oh no!" feared Miss Terious.
Dolly Computo watched the proceedings. "We're not licked yet, y'all! Catherine over there is in for a surprise when she exits this room to find..."
I'll post more tomorrow, but I just wanted to say that I'm thrilled to see you posting in the tag stories, Future!
That goes for you too Kent, I hope you make it back here. I want lots more people to post in these threads! It's lots of fun to throw an idea in and see what EDE, Bevis, Abin and otehrs will do with it!
*end interlude*
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
Dolly Computo watched the proceedings. "We're not licked yet, y'all! Catherine over there is in for a surprise when she exits this room to find...Poverty Lad!"
Catherine quickly entered the next room with Umber over her shoulders, and was shocked to see Poverty Lad, the martian LMBer, standing in her way!
"You!"
"Yes, me!"
"Bah!"
"Bah is right! Little do the LMB realize that I'm cutting out!"
"You mean...?"
"That's right!" said Pov, "I'm joining the bad-guys!"
Meanwhile, Diva Damsel (aka Cher) began barking out orders! "Ok, Fat Cramer, Lardy and Cobalt, see if you can get outside and help Abin and Dev take on the invaders! Miss Terious, Dolly-puto and EDE, follow Catherine the Great and see where she took Umber! Lucien Lad and I will rejoin Faraway Lad and Loser Lad to make sure the Giant Hostess Fruit Pie Diety is alright.
Unbeknownst to any of them, at the same time Future and Varalent were...
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
Meanwhile out in space Abin and Dev had discovered that everything that had happened in this thread so far (except for all the straight male LMBPers being fixated by Globe Girl's Cleavage) was a sham, a hoax and a batch of misdirection to cover the real plot against the LMBP.
They knew this now because they had used their mighty powers to capture the invading ship five minutes before this thread started. But in a spontaneous retcon caused by Lash rolling over in his sleep, that didn't happen and something else did, something so horrible, so terrifying, so nauseating, so... well you get the picture...
And that something was now deep in the bowels of the underground vaults of Legion World. It was making it's way from the exact center of Legion World where it had been hurled after a Titanic battle.
Slowly, laboriously it moved thru the very crust of Legion World. Sheer hatred fueling it's every move. It would have it's revenge. It would destroy the two LMBPers responsible for it's defeat and imprisonment. Abin Quank and Sanity or Madness? were doomed.
The Statue of the Legondary Poster known as Cobalt Kid (or TSOTLPKACK, for short) was coming.
And Legion World was doomed!
-------------------- Truth and Justice shall Prevail! (Just as soon as the Check Clears!)
From: The Back Office in Abin's Fixit Shop. | Registered: Sep 2003
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Eryk Davis Ester
Created from the Cosmic Legends of the Universe!
posted
But fortunately Lash rolled back over, saving Legion World from TSOTLPKACK for now!
Unbeknownst to any of them, at the same time Future and Varalent were at the holo-theater viewing "The Cosmic Cloud That Swallowed Earth 7". Future was wondering just how many more sequels they could make to his favorite holo-flick, when suddenly time froze in the theater!
Meanwhile, Kid Gender Stereotype Reversal II, who hadn't been active in the LMB for quite awhile, was rushing to Legion World with an important message for the LMBers! As she approached Legion World, she saw...
From: Liberty City | Registered: Jul 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
As she approached Legion World, she saw...Abin & Dev-em, forcefully escorting the large invading craft down to Legion World. The smoking ship had obviously seen some harm done to it. Kid GSR II was about to yell praise when she spotted, from the corner of her eye, a small flicker at the other side of the ship.
"Oh no!" the lass bemoaned, as the two LMBers in the air were caught in a bright beam. Quickly, she rushed toward headquarters, intent on delivering her message.
---
We now join some of our other heroes: Miss T, EDE, and Dolly Computo! They're sprinting down the empty halls of Legion World, on the chase of Catherine the Great.
"This hall looks familiar!" Miss Terious informs her companions. "Why, it's the one from my dream last night!"
Eryk raises an eyebrow. "The kinky one you told me this morning about you, Kent, and Cobie in the Weenie Hut?"
"Not that dream, silly! The one I had afterward...that a LMBer would betray us all!" Miss T revealed.
"Preposterous!" Eryk responded, when suddenly the two were cut off by Poverty Lad, grand-standing in the doorway to their destination. "Pov! Catherine the Great's loose! Have you seen her?"
Poverty Lad thought it over a moment, "Why, yes, I have! She ran through this way after giving me a large amount of Xanthian Anvil Dollars! But, you know me, I just can't seem to hold onto money!" He quickly pulls a lever next to them, causing large, heavy credits to fall amongst the trio!
"I knew it! A trap!" Miss T declared, but even she couldn't foresee their fall fast enough.
With EDE and Miss T pinned beneath the metallic, heavy currency, Dolly Computo stares down Pov. "You won't get away with this, sugah!"
"Uh, I really don't get away with or gain anything, really. That why I'm Poverty Lad! I never receive anything from all this nonsense...but now I will! Look, Dolly, at what I've stolen from our vaults as my own personal souvenir!"
-------------------- Just an Old, Broke-Down, Drunk, Bum!!
With a Power Ring...
From: Westerly Rhode Island | Registered: Aug 2003
| IP: Logged |
Eryk Davis Ester
Created from the Cosmic Legends of the Universe!
posted
"Jeepers! Why is her original bosom all green and glowing?" asks EDE.
EDE's pet luck lord appears to inform him: "Hmm... possibly because that's the Emerald Bosom of Ekkra, secretly kept in the vaults of Legion World since your recent adventure with the SMB of Earth-4!"
"Oh yeah," EDE remembered. "The Emerald Bosom played a key role in our attempts to stop to re-assembling of her husband, Ekkron!"
"But, if that's her original bosom," Miss Terious begins, "then does that mean that Dollyputo is really..."
Miss Terious is suddenly cut off by...
[ August 23, 2004, 08:25 AM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
From: Liberty City | Registered: Jul 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
Miss Terious is suddenly cut off by the body of LardLad, sent flying back down to Legion World, on fire and a bloody mess!
"Lardy!", yelled EDE
"Is he dead?" asked Miss T
"Fuck no!" yelled Lardy, suddenly draining all the lard off all the citizens of Legion World in his vicinity, so they all now looked like super-models! "That dang space-ship just captured Cobalt and Fat Cramer, along with Dev and Abin! They're all on board! We gotta save 'em!"
"It's no use Lardy," said Dollyputo, "there's no way we'll be able to get aboard that ship by fighting our way through."
"Then I'll just--"
"No, 'porting won't work either. Kid Teleport, the LMB cadet, attempted that and was instantly turned into a pile of blood and guts."
"What should we do then?" asked Miss Terious, "and what's with that nice Emerald rack?"
----
Meanwhile, Pov snickered, rejoining Catherine the Great with a captured Umber. "Silly LMBers! Tricks are for kids!"
Even more meanwhile, Future and Vee...
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
Even more meanwhile, Future and Vee remain time-frozen within the cinema! This wouldn't be bad, except the holo-projector was outside of the stopped space. Egads, they're missing their movie!
As if that wasn't vile enough, back at Legion World HQ...
"Lou, could you just sit on the table and behave for five seconds?" Faraway asked, arms crossed as he watched Loser slide right off the table with a *hic*.
"Sch'yeah...uh huh." Loser Lad protested in his stupor. "Too hungry. How'zabout that...uh...giant snack food thing?"
"Uh, that defeats the whole purpose of guarding it, Lou---oh no!" cried Faraway, as two figures suddenly passed right through the wall. "Wait...it's Lucien and Cher!"
"Hi, babe!" Cher called, helping Lucien along.
Faraway shook his head. "How'd you get in?! I've got the whole place locked up!"
"Guess who developed low-level intangibility powers?" Lucien asked, staring at Cher. The singer giggled.
"Glad you guys are here! Help me hold this place down...no one should be getting through these secured doors without proper authorization!" Faraway explained, when suddenly as if on cue, one of the doors beeped an access verification and opened up!
"It's...Poverty Lad!" Lucien exclaimed.
"Pov, what's going on out there?" Faraway asked, holding Loser Lad back as he suddenly made a charge for the Hostess Pie Deity.
"Not much, though I did meet some interesting people out here!" Pov says with a smirk, stepping aside to reveal Catherine the Great (with hostage Umber in tow)!
Wholuda thunk it, a simultaneous post. Heh heh. Never mind, Future got there first and his post was funnier anyway.
By the way, I'm loving this tag team so far. Oddly enough it's actually make vague sense even with me throwing in singing divas willy nilly. You know what they say though, you can never have too many divas.
I liked your part for the movie-theatre...you should keep it for your next post! I also have to agree that this tag-team is great! Definitely lots of fun to be had and it's still an epic in the making! Thanks to everyone for throwing in their parts.
When writing hi-jinks, one can never go wrong with Cher. Personally, I'd love to see Dolly Computo become the LMB's new Computo-type server! Abin & EDE, I love the Emerald Bosom of Dolly Parton!
Hyperpath: Email this page to someone!
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