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This is my fan-fiction of the Legion's somewhat ancestors taking place in our time-line feedback is more than welcome. __________________ Colu has had a rough history two awful things about it are the computer masters and the original Brainiac.Both have been defeated.The computer masters have been dismantled and Brainiac is somewhere on Earth.Vril Dox the second maniupulative genius walks out of his home.Wearing a purple jump-suit,it is known he has retired from super-heroics and has convinced Stealth to settle with him so they can look after Lyrl Dox,whose brain has been damaged to keep him at sixth level brain-power until he reaches a certain age.Meanwhile light-years away from Colu is the L.E.G.I.O.N cruiser.Captain Comet looks at the L.E.G.I.O.N,"Marij'n!Report!Are we losing oxygen?" he says in a heroic voice.Looking to Garryn Bek and Strata."Bek!Strata!Commiucations room go contact Dox!" he yells Marij'n arrives next to him."We are losing power but on the bright side we can still hire Lobo to save us." she says trying to sound confident.Garv runs up to Captain Comet.Strata and Garryn have Dox on line sir,he wants to speak with you." he says as the L.E.G.I.O.N cruiser is taken through a worm-hole.Captain Comet looks at the screen and sees Dox's face."Hello Dox how are you?" Adam Blake,Captain Comet says Vril's face shows anger."Why did you call me,Comet?" Dox says in a voice so gruff he sounded like Lobo.Captain Comet looks ashamed and replies,"Dox I'm retiring as commander and would like you to take over again.Since you last saw us we've added some members as L.E.G.I.O.N cadets.",Dox's face stops the anger filled look and he thinks about this.
From: Australia | Registered: May 2004
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VtM, I love the LEGION series so it's great to see someone take them from obscurity and make a story for them. I really love Dox, the sceming old rogue that he is and Captain Comet is an underrated character IMO too.
If I may give a suggestion it's that you put line spaces between prose and paragraphs, it makes it a bit less daunting than a bank of words.
Keep it coming sweetheart
More, more, more
Bxx
[ September 26, 2004, 05:14 AM: Message edited by: Mrs C B H.I.V.E. ]
-------------------- "Tempus Fugitive" the final part of the Adventures of Dream Boy series, set in the Three-Boot Universe. Read it only in the Bits o' Legionnaire Business Forum.
From: here, more often than not | Registered: Sep 2003
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Dox was ticked off,he had never seen Comet like this.He didn't make Comet a wimp."BLAKE!What the hell's a matter with you?" he said on the L.E.G.I.O.N Cruiser.Captain Comet looked at Dox by his side was Lydea Mallor...'Darkstar'Comet looked at his old boss and replied,"Now,now Commander calm down first we have to introduce you to the new recruits the S.U.B.S,such as Grinn,Fortress Lad and Estimate Lad are our espionage squad." Dox was unimpressed ____________ Colu: Stealth looks at the cruiser just minutes ago it arrived right above the Dox household.Stealth took this oppurtunity to leave with Lyrl Dox her son,without anyone noticing ___________ The L.E.G.I.O.N Cruiser: Garv and Strata walked down the corridors of the large cruiser,everywhere until they came to the canteen where Marij'n Bek and Garryn Bek looked at Dox as he walked in that certain area."That's it all L.E.G.I.O.N members follow me not the S.U.B.S but the L.E.G.I.O.N!" Dox yelled.All L.E.G.I.O.N members surrounded a round table.Dox smirked as the Telepath,Strata,Garv,Garryn,Captain Comet,Amon Hakk and Gigantus and the other L.E.G.I.O.N members all sat down.One member was missing. _____________ Braal: A man named Krinn ran from a large mechanical monster his grey spandex suit was torn.He had lost his magnetic powers but his brother had not.Luas Krinn was frightened with no powers who could save him?? ___________ L.E.G.I.O.N Cruiser: Dox looked like he was about to burst."This is unacceptable one member is missing!!Missing!Where is he??" Captain Comet looked upset."He died in the line of duty he's buried on Shanghalla." Dox was unimpressed.Just then an alert alarm sounded.A computerized voice beckoned,"Emergency on Braal.Emergency on Braal." Dox's voice then came louder than the computerized one."S.U.B.S this is your mission.Use Rannian technology as in the teleporters.NOW!STAT! To be continued...... _____________ Okay any questions,or feedback greatly admired
From: Australia | Registered: May 2004
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Vril Dox walked into his office.He was as always ticked off.His office was untouched his lab everything had dust on it.He looks at a photograph of him and his pet Durlan. "My first friend how I.....miss him.I actually miss him.Damn.Damn damn damn damn." Dox sees a flash of light and there stands the Durlan. "Vril!!!Oh my stars it's you,I think it's time you knew my name.My name is Rene J Brande of Durla I've been in the future for so long.How I've missed you." ______________ On the other side of the galaxy Lobo on his hog leaves a planet which blows up behind him. "Now for Dox." ______________ Marij'n Bek and Captain Comet look at each other after they leave his room. "Do you think we've made you pregnant?" asks Captain Comet.Marij'n looks at her husband "I don't know but Garryn hates you." Comet smiles and replies "So?" _______________ Dox looks at the Durlan or rather Rene. "I uh I thought of you as a pet,I'm sorry for that." Vril says, "No need to apolgize my son.I always thought of you as my son." the Durlan,Rene replies.Vril and Rene hug. ______________ In the Stasis Zone Valor waits.......
From: Australia | Registered: May 2004
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