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Stress tends to make us a bit silly at work. Something someone misheard inspired this quick little tidbit. I'm hoping you creative writer and artist types can spare some time (I know it's a bit late, but the muse knows no calendar) to have some fun with it.
There’s no rest for the heroes of Candyland.
Just as a few members of the Gumdrop League — Mallo Man, Wonder Chiclet and Hot Tamale — were settling in for a relaxing Christmas Eve, the monitor board at the Hall of Licorice lit up with a disturbing sight. Scrawled in black royal icing on the side of the Muffin Man’s store on Drury Lane: “Beware the Ninjabread Man!”
“Great Goobers!” Mallo Man cried. “What if that half-baked villain tries to hurt Santa? It’s up to us to save Christmas!”
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Meanwhile, a lonesome hero sat atop a giant plum hill, feeling sorry for himself.
Candy Cain, the once traditional staple of Candyland Christmas, had put a big distance between himself and the rest of the community. You see, he had recently committed horrible fratricide when he was forced to kill his brother, Abel.
Suddenly a voice spoke!
"Alright, stop feeling sorry for yourself CC!" It was an elf, dressed as a dentist! "Santa's in terrible danger, and he needs all the heroes he can get!"
"But...I've retired," said Candy Cain, followed by a *choke*.
"Then un-retire and fast! All I ever wanted to be was a dentist, and now I'll have my work cut-out for me, if the Ningabread Man makes good on his promise and kicks Santa in the teeth!"
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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"We've got to call in everyone," Wonder Chiclet said. "Santa could fly over Candyland at any moment."
"Speed Snicker can scout the city in minutes," Mallo Man said. "Aqua Dud can tell the Swedish fish to search Milky Way Lake. Jawbreaker's strength and invulnerability will come in handy if the cookie cutter ninja stars start flying. The Twix Twins can monitor things from here."
"Aww, we never get to do anything," Tayna Twix whispered to her brother at the back of the hall.
Hot Tamale piped up, "And Super Sucker can ... well, I'll just call him later."
"But what about ...," Wonder Chiclet started.
"Except him. We can't condone what he's done. He's on his own now."
-------------------- Geek Watch
From: Standing beside you in Ferndale, MI | Registered: Aug 2003
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Meanwhile. Across town, in an old desserted pie factory, a monitor shows the inside of the Hall of Licorice. A tall gaunt figure is watching and listening intently. He chuckles evilly. "hehehehe my war against Christmas is going as planned. And those fools of the Gumdrop League are playing right into my hands. Reject me for membership, will they? My powers too ordinary, eh? Now they will feel the vengeance of..." A spotlight reveals the villain "Simple Simon!"
"Rhubarb! Squash! Pumpkin! Get in here!" The three comical yet vicious henchman entered the room. "Take these counterfeit chocolate gold coins and start using them to buy up all the toys."
"And what is my part in this scheme of yours Simon?" All eyes turned to the stunning blonde haired creature. She wore a full length white chincilla fur coat that made one think of merengue. "Ah Lemon Tart! You will have the sweetest job of all. You will corrupt that paragon of gooey sentimentality, Mallo Man!" "Delicious! I'll eat him alive!"
As Simple Simon and Lemon Tart laugh diabolicly and the henchmen join in with a sycophantic chuckle, a small young girl peers into the desserted pie factory. It is Simple Simon's youngest daughter, Sweet Potato. "What is Dad up to now" the young girl thought "and how do I let my friends the Twix Twins know?"
-------------------- Five billion years from now the Sun will go nova and obliterate the Earth. Don't sweat the small stuff!
From: Boston | Registered: Aug 2003
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On the outskirts of town, riding tired old nags, came the Threee Musketeeers.
"Seems like all the light are lit at the Hall of Licorice" said Athos from his dark chocolate colored horse.
"Sure does," agreed Porthos, astride his milk chocolate colored steed.
"Do you think there's trouble afoot?" asked Aramis, from ontop of his caramel colored mare.
"No, trouble is afoot over yonder," chimed in D'Artagnan.
"Who are you?" asked Porthos.
"D'Artagnan of course," said D'Artagnan.
"Never heard of you, now begone!" countered Athos.
"Don't be so rude, you two. The young dandy is simply confused," interceeded Aramis. "Look here...D'Artagnan is it? This is a Candyland story and we are the Threee Musketeeers. You don't have a role to play in this scene. After all, there are only three ingredients in a Three Musketeers bar."
"Actually, there are dozens more than that, you foppish fool!" grumbled Porthos "Haven't you ever read the label?"
"Who are you calling foppish?" demanded Aramis
"One of those you called rude!" countered Porthos.
"Now, now you two. Let's not get into another battle out here on the roadway into Candyland!" cajoled Athos.
"Stay out of this you old fart!" cried Aramis. "I will NOT be called foppish by anyone!"
"But you are foppish...and a fool!" Porthos added.
"Sigh!", sighed D'Artagnan as the Threee Musketeeers began to draw their swords.
-------------------- "Hey Jim! Get Mon out of the Zone!! And...when do we get Condo back?"
From: Paragon City on patrol | Registered: Jul 2003
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