A cloaked man (the one who'd been conspiring with Hummer Lass ) arrives and is greeted by Tamper Lad.
"Welcome to the Club, sir! Do you have reservations?"
"Yes, I am Harold R. Wyandotte. I have booked a private meeting room at your establishment."
Tamper looks at his registery. "Yes! Mr. Wyandotte! I see you put down a sizable deposit for--"
"Is something the matter?" Wyandotte asks, noticing Tamper Lad staring at him.
"What are you doing here? This is hardly a place I would expect--"
"Ah, I look familiar to you, do I Tamper Lad?"
"Well, of course you do...you're--!"
"Careful, friend. I understood that your establishment offers complete confidentiality. And..." Wyandotte flashes a jaw-droppingly large credit voucher in front of him, "...I would expect that this will help ensure things remain so, despite my..familiar appearances?"
Visibly drooling, Tamper Lad responds as he snatches the voucher, "never seen you before in my life! I'll show you to the room you reserved. Follow me!"
Tamper leads Mr. Wyandotte to a secluded room. "Here you are--state of the art privacy technology! Your guest hasn't arrived yet, but I'll show him in as soon as he does!"
Wyandotte is about to enter the room when he turns to Tamper and says, "appearances can be deceiving, you know! Or perhaps they aren't?" He grins at Tamper, then closes the door.
Still drooling and reading the voucher, Tamper Lad heads to his office, mumbling, "Whatever! As long as these creds are good, my lips are sealed Mr. 'Harold Ryan Wyandotte'!"
Bat-Fem prowls the rooftops. But then...the sonic enhancers in her ears pick up a disturbance. Following the sounds, she determines exactly which alley they are coming from and swoops down.
She finds a lone man in a bright costume lying in a pool of his own blood. Looking around, her infra-red lenses see no sign of his assailant. The man is awake but blood is pouring profusely from his mouth, just as it is from a large wound in his chest.
"Hold on," she tells the man, "I'll get you to the hospital!" Even as she says this, she ponders the logistics of it. He's a very large man, and her hovercycle is parked blocks away.
The man tries to speak, but he's choking on his own blood. All he can manage is to clutch at the chest of her costume and look at her pleadingly. He doesn't want to die, but he's losing his hold on life.
In the next instant his eyes stare distantly, and he releases his grip. He's gone.
Sadenned, she assures the departed, "I'll find your killer. I prom--!"
She's startled. She suddenly recognizes the man. His features. His costume. She knows him.
"Oh gods!" She jumps up and backs off in disbelief. She puts her hand over her mouth and whispers, "Lard Lad! Someone has murdered Lard Lad!"
“Wow, there they are,” said Jailbait Lass. “We’re really on the outskirts of the United Planets,” she added plainly. She did not seem thrilled.
“You know,” replied Danger Damsel, “for someone with friends so famous for exploring faraway places, you sure haven’t been all that far from Legion World, Jailbait Lass.” There was a hint of annoyance in Danger Damsel’s voice.
Jailbait Lass gave Danger Damsel a dirty look, though no one was there to see it. They had parting with Lightning Lad seven solar cycles ago, in a remote sector of a remote trading route, and had taken their own ship this far. Jailbait Lass did not want to be there. But here she was—not far off from the oft-referenced and only whispered sector of space called ‘The Barbarian Hordes’.
“What did you expect? Another half-day’s journey and we’d be besieged by ravenous, cannibalistic savages, mounted on space-dragons, pillaging all they see?”
Jailbait Lass remained quiet, peering out into space. Finally she spoke up. “What do you hope to accomplish Anne? Out here, the two of us alone?”
“Well, Lolita,” she replied, annoyed at the use of her real name, “we need to find out what this Dominus fellow is up to. Where he intends to go. What he wants. Is he rallying the Barbarian Hordes to one banner, to invade the Dark Oval? Is he preparing to amass a force so strong that we have our own reasons to fear it?”
Jailbait Lass rolled her eyes. Yes, she understood all that. But what did that actually mean? Go into the Barbarian Horde and lurk in the shadows, from town to town, nation to nation, planet to planet, scouting for intel? That could take years! There was a real danger, here and now, and she had to get this package to Cobalt Kid…
“That’s odd,” said Danger Damsel, “our scanners are going off. There’s a craft approaching. But the Triumvirate armies are not for a thousand leagues off, on the border. This is still UP space, but there’s no trade routes…”
Jailbait Lass checked her belt, and felt the familiar feel (becoming all too familiar) of a blaster that she’d armed herself with. Lightning Lad was kind enough to give it, but now she wished she paid attention when Brittany (Everyday Girl) would enjoy her target practice.
“INCOMING!” yelled Danger Damsel, and suddenly a large ship came into view, spinning in their direction. Danger Damsel went into evasive action mode—apparently, Jailbait Lass thought, she was an accomplished pilot. The enemy ship seemed large and clunky, built for intimidation and girth. Stupid…picking a masculine look to a star-ship when a sleeker, more agile ship would suffice. It was firing on them.
**Incoming Transmission** ‘Unidentified ship—surrender yourselves and prepare to be bordered.’
“Go to hell,” Danger Damsel said back to the ship, shooting off a missile in its direction. It dodged the missile, but the missile went on into the blackness behind it and suddenly destroyed something else. It was another ship—cloaked. Suddenly, many ships began to un-cloak. They were outgunned and big time.
“Shit!” yelled Danger Damsel.
“I hope you’re happy,” said Jailbait Lass, jumping into the co-pilots seat, “lets take a little trip to the Barbarian Horde and get ourselves killed!” she yelled at Danger Damsel. She began punching numbers into the computer.
“What are you doing?”
“Calling for back-up. Invisible Brainiac can make it here if he just tries…he might be able to save us…”
“Wait,” said Danger Damsel, looking out the windows, “there’s no need. Look.” She was pointing, and they could see in the distance a fleet of ships coming into view. It was a small fleet, but obviously a military force, and by the length of the quick and devastating route that followed, a veteran force.
Fifteen minutes later, the commanding cruiser flew beside the smaller ship the two ladies flew and boarded it. They could hear the captain speaking as he walked. He was very terse, slightly brutish and colorful in his language. “Barbarians here? In the United Planets? Evidently, every two bit empire and kingdom thinks they can invade the UP and not pay the price. We should have left some alive so they can go crawling back to their backwoods sector of space and tell them they a true army.” The other soldiers were talking to him, but there voices didn’t carry like his and could not be heard. His was much more commanding and had a hint of anger that Jailbait Lass could tell probably never went away. “Well, now we have to be ready for a second war, although I think they’re probably testing the waters. We have a common enemy after all.” He turned the corner. Jailbait Lass had never seen him before, but instantly knew who it was. Scipio Taltarus. The most decorated military officer in all the armies of the Legion World. He heroically fought and won a series of battles over the last few years that made him a hero to common folk, one of the few non-LMBers to have done so. But, the life of a solider being how it was, he had never had the opportunity to set foot on Legion World and actually see what he was defending. Cobalt spoke of him with great affection and respect.
“Ladies,” he said with a slight nod of his head. He was garbed in bronze like some ancient painting would depict a warrior, and had a flowing red cape. “Lucky for you we were in the area,” he added.
“We would have managed,” said Danger Damsel with no small degree of venom in her words. ‘What was her problem?’, thought Jailbait Lass.
“Yes Anne, I’m sure you would,” replied Scipio. They had met before. “But the Legion World Triumvirate sent a small squadron to check the Barbarian Hordes’ borders and ensure the UP had not been pierced. It seems like that was a wise decision…” he continued, falling quietly into thought. “Why would they do it though…?”
“Scipio?” said Jailbait Lass, speaking up. “Cobalt sent you? I must see him.”
Her demanding tone suddenly made Scipio smile. “Yes, my young friend, I know that,” he replied. “But the road to him is far. I’ll take you to him, but not yet. It appears the entire galaxy is on the brink of a world war.”
Legion World, the Coastal Jungles
Invisible Brainiac’s omni-com blinked red. He noticed it, but could do nothing right away. He was far from the capital city, along the coast of the lower continents, where the Jungles ruled. Here, nature knew no master and Invisible Brainiac respected it. In fact, he was actively trying to put out some fires that seemed to be ravaging the area. The grasslands to the south were burning, as they always did this time of the year, and despite the moisture the jungles had, they couldn’t risk losing what was inside. Also, the gorilla tribe of Legion World, strong allies of the LMB and Legion World Gov., had asked for assistance. As one of the most powerful LMBers, Invisible Brainiac volunteered. He found a quick minute and checked.
“That’s not good…” he said reading the message, “poor Jailbait Lass…I could probably make it, but not until this is done. Hm who’s probably close by...?” he thought, checking the roster of active members of the LMB.
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
| IP: Logged |
Hummer Lass showers as blood, not her own, streams down into the drain. Her bloody, disgarded garments lie in a nearby trash can.
"I did it!" she practically sings. "I-I know I wasn't supposed to yet, but there he was stumbling out of the Hootchie Hut. I couldn't help myself! I hope Wyandotte won't be too angry; at least now, he and I can be together without that filth coming between us!"
And she hums her favorite Space Banshees song as she washes the rest of the blood off....
-------------------- "Suck it, depressos!"--M. Lash
From: The Underbelly of Society | Registered: Jul 2003
| IP: Logged |
In the great hall of conquering star-ship ‘Leonidas’ the gathering of officers, centurions, United Planets representatives and the ‘Companions’, had now reached a moment of silence. All night victory celebrations had raged on, although a great deal of strategy had been planned and many administrative duties completed. The fleets of the United Planets, led by the LMB Triumvir Cobaltus Primus Augustus, had been victorious this day in battle against the Epicureans, one of the major vassal-states subservient to the Dominion. Despite their status as a vassal-state, the Epicureans were renowned for their cruelty, particularly for their use of theft and slavery as a means of maintaining control of their own subservient planets. One such planet was Antares VII, the home planet of the Proteans, which had been conquered ages ago and cruelly and gradually seen its civilization destroyed. Many past Presidents of the UP had fought for the cause of the Proteans, but to no avail. Thus, Cobalt Kid ensured that this would be one of the first victories, to symbolically show how serious the United Planets and Legion World forces were—while truly being a means to rally even more support to the UP cause.
The Epicurean King was led forth, covered in robes with his hands tied behind his back. He was filthy, and his royal robes and crown had been replaced by dirty rags and sheets. Bringing him forward was Shark Lad, the ferocious LMBer, massive in his stature and terrifying to behold. Shark Lad’s rage had become so horrific in this war, that soldiers often used it sparingly as a reference point for how angry they had become. “If I don’t get a hot shower today, I’ll be as angry as Shark Lad…” was an example. Truth to be told, no soldier, on either side, would willingly witness Shark Lad in battle.
In front of the King, who was pushed to the ground, was Disaster Boy. A grim look was on Disaster Boy’s face. Where had he been all those months? What happened to him? None knew. But something had happened. For he had an edge to him now. Neither cruel nor outright angry, but grim and gritty. “Here now,” he said out loud, and all the officers became quiet, “is the King of the Epicureans. Scourge of the Proteans. Murderer of the 87th United Planets fleet.” He moved to the side.
Now before the King stood Cobaltus Primus Augustus. Indeed, the hero known as Cobalt Kid was nowhere to be seen. Here, instead, was the Triumvir widely reported on these days. Covered in bronze armor with a flowing red cape. Upon his head was a fierce bronze helmet, with red hair parted down the middle. His entire face was covered, with only a slit for the eyes horizontally, and another vertically, forming a ‘T’. His widely renowned handsome features were nowhere to be seen. Only the horrific war armor he now wore. He had a sword in his hand. “King of the Epicureans,” he began, his voice calm to the point of almost uncaring if not for the harshness of it, “in the name of the United Planets and Legion World, I hereby commandeer the Kingdom of Epicus, and all of its conquered nations. Those nations are now free from your rule, and welcomed into the United Planets. Epicus itself is no longer a part of the Dark Oval.” He moved forward. Using his sword, he cut ropes binding the Kings wrists.
“I strip you of your kingship, and name you simply a common man. Your people are free from your rule, whether they desire it or not. You are now a prisoner of the United Planets. However, your entire planet is complicit in the horrible subjugation of the Protean race. I hereby rule that Epicus must spend 50% of all of the planet’s finances to repair the damage done to Antares VII, until the planet is repaired and the Protean race has been repaid for all of the atrocities you have inflicted on them. I also demand 10% of all of your planets resources will be taken by the armies of the United Planets and the Legion World Triumvirate.” His voice was harsh to the point of a sword scarping against metal. “Such is now law.”
He turned and walked away, leaving the once-king on his knees. “Whose law…?” the king said, overwhelmed by his defeat. “Legion World’s? Your own?”
Cobalt looked at him with utter anger and rage, memories of the invasion still moving through his mind. ”Is there any other?”
They soldiers cheered.
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
| IP: Logged |
Tamper Lad shows another cloaked man into Wyandotte's private room.
"It's about time, Ord," says Wyandotte. "Did Tamper Lad recognize you?"
"Nah. I doubt anyone would recognize this badly burned puss!" And as he pulls off the hood, Ord displays what he's speaking of. His face and every visible part of bare skinned is covered with scar tissue as if someone had taken a torch to him.
Wyandotte flinches slightly at the sight of him despite himself. "Yes," he says, "it is quite a shame too see such formerly handsome features destroyed."
Ord says distantly, "I wonder what the LMB would think if they knew I lived?"
"Oh, I suspect you'll get to see that reaction eventually. Did your mission regarding Earth-4 go well?"
"Completely as planned. The other elements involved in that did their bits as well, rather smoothly. But why meet here, Wyandotte? Doesn't it concern you to have Tamper Lad see you here?"
"Actually, he doesn't realize what he's truly seeing. But this will sow the seeds for building a business relationship with him after Phase Three of our plan starts."
"Yes," Ord muses, "I suppose that will help. Where's the third member of our little conspiracy?"
"Oh, he's little more than a pawn, isn't he? He doesn't need to know everything."
"No," Ord smiles, "he doesn't."
And their conversation continues into the night's wee hours....
-------------------- "Suck it, depressos!"--M. Lash
From: The Underbelly of Society | Registered: Jul 2003
| IP: Logged |
A contingent led by Lil' Matlock, Frio and Polar Boy arrive at the site of a murder they've been tipped off to. Many uniformed Junior Officers get to work securing the crime scene as the three examine the body.
Frio gasps and says, "it is him. Oh my god...Cobalt will--"
"Easy, Frio," Lil' Matlock says assuringly, "appearances can be deceiving, you know."
"Well, that 'Bat-Fem' seemed pretty convinced when she called in the tip. In fact she was pretty darn emotional over it," Polar Boy responds.
"Maybe she did it?" Lil' Matlock muses. "Have some of the J.O.'s find out where 'Lardy' was before he got here." And Polar Boy departs to carry out his superior's orders. "Frio, weren't Lardy and Whordru supposed to be vacationing offworld until next week?"
"Yes," she says reviewing her Omnicom. "And there's no record of them returning early. Of course with their powers..."
"...they could've returned unnoticed? Yes, perhaps there was a lover's spat? We'll definitely have to find Whordru for questioning, assuming this is Lardy. Meanwhile Frio, go ahead and release this information to the press as soon as we've finished with the crime scene. That could help us with tips. However--"
"Yes?" Frio asks awaiting Lil' Matlock's next thought.
"Do not inform Cobie yet. Make sure the others and Spellbinder don't either. I don't want to bring this down on Cobie until we know this man's identity for sure..."
"Yes, sir," she responds and starts to compose a draft of the press release.
"One more thing, Frio?" Lil' Matlock interrupts. "Could you get me my sippy cup, please?"
-------------------- "Suck it, depressos!"--M. Lash
From: The Underbelly of Society | Registered: Jul 2003
| IP: Logged |
Well, that was productive, Wyandotte thinks as he secures the entrance, and turns on his display board, let's see what's going on...
"What?!" he screams aloud as he sees monitor after monitor lit up with news of Lard Lad's death. "No, no, NO! He can't be--not yet!"
Angrily, he flips a remote button to Hummer Lass's apartment. He sees she is asleep, but something catches his eye. The waste basket. The bloody clothing stuffed into it.
"NO! THAT FOOL! She killed him TOO SOON!"
In a fury he throws his cloak on and prepares to leave.
"She'll rue this day!" he yells and storms out of his secret base.
-------------------- "Suck it, depressos!"--M. Lash
From: The Underbelly of Society | Registered: Jul 2003
| IP: Logged |
"You've ruined everything, bitch!" Wyandotte screams as he shakes Hummer Lass by her shoulders.
"I'm-I'm sorry, darling...when I saw him there, I flew into a rage and--"
"You want to see a 'rage'? How's THIS?" And Wyandotte hits her full-on in the face with his clutched fist, sending her reeling against her bed. "I'm going to make you pay dearly for this!" He pulls out a laser blade.
"N-no, p-please don't...I-I love you..." she cries as she backs away weakly.
"It's okay, Wyandotte. That won't be necessary," says a voice from behind the assailant.
Wyandotte turns around and sees the familiar, hideously-scarred man he'd been talking to earlier. "Ord? Don't you know what she's done?"
"Yes, but it's not what you think," Ord says calmly. "All is, most certainly, not lost."
"Oh? How is that?"
And Wyandotte finds himself smiling again within a few moments.....
-------------------- "Suck it, depressos!"--M. Lash
From: The Underbelly of Society | Registered: Jul 2003
| IP: Logged |
< Maxx moved along the corridor, his outstretched hands manipulating the spell he was using to move the crate ahead of him. >
[Maxx the Sorcerer]: You know, hon, just because you're a Prince and all doesn't mean you have to own the world.
< Crusader moved along behind his husband, his telekinesis carrying twelve suitcases, which floated in the air around him. >
[The Crusader]: Ha ha. I'm not the one who requested two suites for us, even though we're sharing living space.
< Maxx looked back over his shoulder, one eyebrow raised >
[Maxx the Sorcerer]: I just want to make sure that you don't turn my workroom into extra closet space, sweetie.
< The couple entered their new living suite. The floor was covered in unpacked boxes and furniture that needed to be arranged. Setting their burdens down, the two leaned against each other and smiled. They had lived together when they were reservists living at the LMBP Outpost, but this would be their first permanent home since getting married >
[Maxx the Sorcerer]: Welcome home, husband.
< The two shared a quick embrace before turning to start their unpacking >
-------------------- Some people are like slinkys: not really good for anything, but they bring a smile to your face when you knock them down a flight of stairs
From: Penthouse atop Levitz Hall, LMBP Plaza, Embassy Row, Legion World | Registered: Jul 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
The Border between the Barbarian Horde and the United Planets
Jailbait Lass felt a rising frustration despite trying to remain calm. But her she was again, stuck in a place she did want to be when she had a mission that was contingent upon begin completed as quickly as possible. As soldiers walked around her, doing a variety of jobs, both administrative and artisan, she paid no heed to how many of them took an extra few seconds to soak in her presence. She was attractive to many of them. It wasn’t that the armies of Cobalt Kid never saw women, as many females were actual soldiers and even heroes of Cobalt’s Legions, it was that she had a certain youthful vulnerability to her that many found attractive. It was her most hated quality.
In a nearby room, Scipio Taltarus continued to give orders and keep his fleets running in an orderly fashion. This was where he excelled as a leader, as his men followed his orders without question, never thinking to second guess him. The fleets under his command continued to move ever closer to the borders of the Barbarian Horde. Danger Damsel stood off to the side, waiting, growing ever impatiently.
“Good, we’ll be upon the borders shortly,” Scipio continued, close to finishing his administrative duties. “The borders are vast and the Triumvirate armies still have stations throughout. But with the retirement of the Starhaven contingent and the semi-retirement of Eryk Davis Ester’s army on Greg Evignan Island, we are far more short handed these days than before. Especially with the majority of the UP’s military might with Cobaltus in the Dark Oval,” he finished, aware that he was speaking for his own benefit at this point. The soldiers trusted he saw the big picture—they were last for dinner. “Dismissed. Strength and honor.” At last they left the room.
Danger Damsel glared at him.
He looked back, showing no sign of emotion. He had a hardened look about him at all times, no matter how he felt at the moment.
“Well?” she said.
“Well?” he repeated.
“Well, is that all I get? You come in, fight a battle, and move on to the Horde without a word? No comments on where we stand these days? Are we going to war? Are the armies coming here? What about my work?”
“Yes,” he said. She looked at him funny. “Yes, Anne, that’s all you get. You disobeyed orders. Cobalt wants Jailbait Lass with him ASAP, but you came here. You don’t trust him to do what’s right. He’s got a plan.”
“He’s losing his mind!” she yelled at Scipio, becoming infuriated. “And you’re following orders like its business as usual! The Barbarian Horde is on the move! And you come out here,” she continued, “and completely ignore me. I know whats in there…” her voice began to get quieter. She was right in his face, but began to back off.
“My duty is to the army,” said Scipio, calm and cold, with no apology in his voice, “and we realize the danger. And I think your letting personal feelings cloud your judgment. We’re doing all we can. I’m doing all I can.” He came up close behind her, as she had his back to him. “You’ll have to trust someone Anne,” he said softly.
Suddenly, she turned around and kissed him. She kissed him hard, and two years of emotion ran through her. She loved this man, whom she barely ever saw, and she knew he loved her back. But he infuriated her, with his arrogance and calm demeanor. And she knew she infuriated him, with her impatience. But neither could resist the other.
Now many floors over, Jailbait Lass entered a small pod, and quickly hacked into the system. “Let them have their lover’s quarrel,” she thought, “while I slip out of here for good. Looks like I’m on my own in the deepest parts of space. Off to the Dark Oval.”
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
| IP: Logged |
Rescued from the tomb underneath the Print Works the heavily damaged but still operational everyday tank rolled back into the garage at the Security Office under its own power.
Disembarking the tank crew stretched their legs and breathed easier than they had for the past few hours. The reporter Clarkson quickly excused himself from the company of Everyday Girl and Faraway Lad who were analysing the strange chain of events.
From: Canada | Registered: Apr 2005
| IP: Logged |
Using his Nose of Wonder, it didn't take long for Hyvvie the Wonder Beagle to track down Rockhopper Lass. Rockhopper Lass turned back to see him running after her. "Hyvvie! Let me go!" She turned in the other direction and there standing in the road were some of the other Super-Pets: Jinx, the Calamity Cat; Piddlin' Pup; Blok, the Pet Rock; Buzz, the Giant Bee; and Old Dutch, the Super-Cow.
Seeing this menagerie, combined with her stress and exhaustion caused Rockhopper Lass to collapse.
"This one sure faints a lot!" remarked Blok.
"Who is she again?" forgetful Old Dutch asked.
"Old Dutch, can you remember anything?" Buzz returned.
"Sure I can! I remember when I used to be able to fly and when I fought crime with Ajax, the Super-Goat and Bon Ami, the Super-Chicken. I remember when I had heat vision, instead of lukewarm vision..."
"Is she starting that again?" Buzz shook his head.
"To answer your question, Old Dutch," Jinx purred, "She's Rockhopper Lass from the Earth-4 universe. She's that universe's double of Rockhopper Lad's sister."
"Whose sister?" Old Dutch asked, putting a hoof to her forehead.
"Rockhopper Lad! My master!" Hyvvie answered.
"She looks just like him too!" Piddlin' Pup added.
"So what do we do with her now?" asked Blok.
"I guess we take her back to the Rookery," offered Hyvvie.
"Where?" asked Old Dutch.
"Rockhopper's Rookery," Jinx said, slightly impatiently, then asking Hyvvie "Won't Rockhopper Lad have woken up by now and noticed she's missing?"
Hyvvie sighed. "I love Rockhopper Lad, but I swear he could sleep through World War VIII!"
-------------------- The only character in all of literature who has been described as "badnass" while using the phrase "vile miscreant."
From: The Pyngwyn Colonies of Planet Hyustyn | Registered: Aug 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
Deep Spacesomewhere along the edges of the United Planets, the Barbarian Horde and the Dark Oval
Jailbait Lass’s stomach ached harder than ever and she cursed herself for being so naïve. How she thought she could ever make it through space to a place hardly even explored by UP geographers was beyond her at this point. She had brought what she thought was more than enough food. She was wrong. She was starving, and she was running out of time. ‘Please…’ she thought, praying to the only source of justice she knew existed—the Legion of Message Board Posters.
Jailbait Lass looked out the window, and thought she was hallucinating. But no, there was a teenage boy, dressed in odd clothing with spectacles on. He knocked on the window. “Lolita, right? Please let me in. My 19th Century technology will only allow me to survive out here in space for so long. And these telepathic earplugs are LMB standard—but only from your early days.”
“Who?” she whispered, letting him in. At this point, she was ready to trust anyone.
“Its me, Time Boy!,” he said, “my records indicate that you would need someone to stop by and give you some food, or you’d starve to death! So I have what I consider one of the greatest inventions of a millennia ago, though it would not be created until after my time. It’s a peanut butter and jelly sandwich,” he said, pulling one out for her.
She thought she might be losing it, but her analytical mind would not let her. Of course: Time Boy. An honorary LMBer. Known in the 19th Century as the great writer H.G. Wells, who would essentially create the genre of Science Fiction. But when he was younger, as a child, he would go on time-traveling adventures, known as Time Boy, and battle along-side the LMB. He usually showed up at odd times, like now.
“How did you know…?” she said, in between bites.
“Stoopid Cat told me,” he replied. “He told me I’d screwed up his adventure, so I became curious about these couple of weeks and read up on them. Lots of crazy things going on—what is about to happen to the LMB will altar everything, set the LMB on a whole new course. I saw that at some point someone made their way to you in order to fend off your starvation, so I took a chance, hoped it was me, and decided to get involved in the adventure, even if only for a cameo.”
“Wait, what?” she said, perplexed. “Back up. Stoopid Cat?”
“Yes, Stoopid Cat. I’ve had more adventures with him than anyone. In our latest, well, my his latest relative to you at this time, depending how you look at it, I took him back to the 1950’s to fight alongside his buddies in the JSMBP. Unfortunately, he was supposed to be meeting you, and I screwed that up, and set you on your course. I could have sent him back to the time I took him out of your century, but at some point we separated, and while he was still in the past, I came here to feed you. So I can’t take him back here now, until I leave after feeding you, otherwise, I’d screw up the fabric of time by being in two places as once. So, I have to feed you, then return to retrieve him, and deposit him back here at a time later than my departure from this meeting. Its all about time travel, you see?”
Jailbait Lass finished her sandwich. “No, not really. But do you have a drink?”
“Yes, here,” he finished, handing her a glass of milk, “fresh too, not like that stuff you guys have here in the 31st Century. They tried to take out all the bad stuff in the 25th century and accidentally took out all the good. But I really must apologize about Stoopid Cat. I’m sure he’ll be back before this is all done to play some part. In fact, I’d wager on it.”
Jailbait Lass nodded. She didn’t understand the details completely, but understood that Stoopid Cat got sidetracked via Time Boy, but because of time travel, could not come back until after this meeting between Jailbait Lass and Time Boy. “Well, thanks for the save,” she said, her usual shyness coming back now that she realized she just devoured the food her offered her.
“My pleasure! Tell everyone I said hi, and don’t forget about your mushroom from Dr. Mayavale!” he yelled, getting up and preparing to leave.
She *had* forgotten about it. “Thanks again!” she said, waving. She wanted to talk more, but he seemed ready to go.
“Its off to the Prehistoric era for me! I’ve been waiting years to see if someone else defeats Hitler’s Nazis there, but I guess it’ll probably just be me—!” he continued, letting his sentence trail off as he disappeared.
Heh, she thought. What an odd boy, although fascinating. A shame though, the one day he would be killed by Lucifer Lass, in front of Eryk Davis Ester’s eyes. Apparently, he would be an old man by then at least.
Suddenly, an immense blast of green light exploded into her view! It was a scouting blast of energy and immediately, its owner was upon her.
“Jailbait Lass!” said the voice, “what in Sam Hill are you doing out here?” he finished. It was Abin Quank, Green Lantern! “Invisible Brainiac got your message and sent me. You’re pretty off the beaten path, you know…”
At last, she thought, we’re getting somewhere…
[ September 26, 2006, 11:27 PM: Message edited by: Cobalt Kid ]
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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Seth came within sight of the tent, a structure unusual to his sight. Then again, he was used to ferrocrete bunkers... so maybe it was just him? What caught his attention more, however, was who was also approaching the tent.
"Helena..." Seth, not realizing he was doing it, gave her a shy smile. Then he cleared his throat abruptly, drawing himself up to a more formal stance as he saw her companion. "My greatest apologies, Madam Ambassador; it was not my intent to slight you." Seth offered Winema a formal bow, hoping that she'd be mollified. Winema (as he remembered) was known for crushing the careers of those who opposed her; she could possibly cost Seth his sanctuary at Legion World.
Registered: Jul 2006
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![[Smile]](smile.gif)
) arrives and is greeted by Tamper Lad.
