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» Legion World » LEGION OUTPOST » Bits o' Legionnaire Business » Solicitations for the LMB's Line of DC Comics! (Page 1)

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Author Topic: Solicitations for the LMB's Line of DC Comics!
Cobalt Kid
BOHICA
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Scenario: Pov’s rich Uncle Fister sadly passes but leaves Pov billions of dollars; meanwhile, Cobie’s Wall Street connections help him steal all that AIG bonus money so the American tax-payer gets screwed but Cobie walks off with billions. Rather than spend the money on anything beneficial to society, Cobie and Pov team up and buy DC Comics and take it private once again. Immediately, they install a new policy of hiring all of their LMB friends as writers, artists and editors for a small “Line” of comics. While most of the rest of DC stays the same, this new line launches a few titles at first and will grow substantially no matter what sales look like. This ‘Line’ is called the All-Star Line, as Pov and Cobie co-opt that name in tribute to the greatness of “All-Star Batman & Robin, the Boy Wonder”.

First up:

All-Star Super Friends #1 – May, 2009 “We’re the Goddamn Super Friends” by Frank Miller, Cobalt Kid and Lash Lad – In a world full of corruption, moral indecency and the constant need for attention, a group of heroes take to the skies to remind people to shape up—or face extinction!!! Featuring the Übermensch himself, Superman, and the woman he secretly yearns for, Wonder Woman! Will these two ignite a love that will rock the world—or end up killing each other? Also, wait until you see the Goddamn Batman meet…the mother-fucking Aquaman! Possible incestuous Marvin & Wendy return, along with that always lovable Wonderdog. Only the mind of Frank Miller could bring you the Goddamn Super Friends, where the villains of the series are you, the readership!!!.

All-Star The Atomic Knights #1 – May, 2009 “Apocalypse Yesterday” by Grant Morrison, Eryk Davis Ester and Dean Lee – Its 2009 and life is grand. Or is it? Sgt. Gardner Grayle begins to uncover an alarming mystery: did Earth actually experience World War III in 1986 and undergo a nuclear catastrophe? Is almost all life on this world dead and gone? Are we all experiencing delusions via a group consciousness functioning only online that refuses to acknowledge outside that our very windows a nuclear winter rains down upon us and giant monsters are creeping into our bedrooms to suck the brains out of our airs and eat our children? Are we simply cattle ready for the slaughter while the Communist Aliens who won WWIII devour us at their own convenience? Only the Atomic Knights will know for sure—and can save us!

All-Star Green Arrow #1 – May 2009 “The Wilt Chamberlain of Superheroes” – They say Wilt Chamberlain had sexual intercourse with over 20,000 women. Well in the DCU, where there are fictional cities, there are many more women than in the real world. And Green Arrow plans on sleeping with everyone of them! Watch, as Green Arrow beats up drug dealers and political fat-cats! Gasp, as Green Arrow proclaims his lefty liberal agenda, all the while making millions in tax deductions through his charities! Choke, as Green Arrow encounters female after female who by all means hates his very guts—and then totally scores, dude! Plus, why is Conner Hawke trying to kill Green Arrow?

From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Tamper Lad
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All-Star Canon Fodder #1. Written by Geoff Johns & Tamper Lad. Art by various. A brilliant take on how to use the DC canon, as cannon fodder of course. Remember all those characters that appeared in only a story or two back in the day, well they're back but not for long. Presented as a series of self-contained stories that when read as a story arc create a pistache of DC excellence. We begin where it all began: Someone is killing Golden Age characters in most gruesome ways.
From: Canada | Registered: Apr 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
cleome46
or you can do the confusion 'til your head falls off
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quote:


"pistache"... ?


[LOL] [LOL] [LOL]

It's a comic book ! It's a gelato flavor !!

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Hey, Kids! My "Cranky and Kitschy" collage art is now viewable on flickr. Drop by and tell me that I sent you.

From: Vanity, OR | Registered: Dec 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
cleome46
or you can do the confusion 'til your head falls off
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Aaanyway...

All-Star Legion of Frigidaires #1. Frank Miller, Howard Chaykin & cleome. -- Bare midriffs, teeny tiny miniskirts, thinly-disguised homophobia/homoeroticism, lots of mascara plus glossy-lipped facial expressions[sic] that you could find on a 9.99 inflatable "date," anatomically impossible butt-shots and sexxxxxeeee deaths. Lots of them. Hey, it's not our fault that chicks don't dig comics. Really, they're just not into 'em cuz' we're from Mars 'n sh#t. Just shut up and buy it, jaggoffs.

(Wizards gave it five... uh, "thumbs" up.)

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Hey, Kids! My "Cranky and Kitschy" collage art is now viewable on flickr. Drop by and tell me that I sent you.

From: Vanity, OR | Registered: Dec 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Cobalt Kid
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All-Star Green Arrow #2 - Having slept with every female in the DCU, Green Arrow turns his attention to the love he's been avoiding all his life: Hawkman. But what does Hawkgirl have to say about it? And will Chuck Austen really try to push for a Green Arrow, Hawkman, Hawkgirl, Black Canary orgy sequence? You're damn right he will! Its the issue you can't miss! Plus, a new back-up feature by Cobalt Kid starring Roy Harper and Cheshire--watch as Roy succumbs to a heroine relapse and goes on a globe-trotting genocidal sex-crazed rampage with his baby mama! Cheshire's desire for Roy is so strong she can't kill him...but she sure can kill everyone else!
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Cobalt Kid
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All-Star Power of SHAZAM #1 - Legendary celebrity Paris Hilton joins DC Comics and teams-up with Cobalt Kid and Frank Miller to bring you the sexiest reimagining of the Shazam Family EVER! For decades, they've been known as the wholesome corner of the DCU. Now, watch as Fawcett City becomes the den of sleeze, sex and upskirt panty shots. It all begins with boy prostitute Billy Baton's refusal to give into the crushing nature of society, as he turns to drug-pusher Shazam for a combination of seven different highs that totally transform him into Captain Marvel! Soon, a young addict stripper named Mary Marvel and Irag war disabled veteran Freddy Freeman join the young man in their quest to turn Fawcett City into a place where the party is like Ancient Eygpt: loud music, cool-ass animal headed deities, and groovy dance moves! Also featuring an escaped tiger from the Fawcett City Zoo named Tawnky Tawny, who is either the most gruesome killer the city's ever seen--or the return of the Messiah himself! Only the hit-team of Hilton, Cobalt and Miller would dear take it this far!
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Eryk Davis Ester
Created from the Cosmic Legends of the Universe!
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All-Star Zero Crisis Hour #1 Star writers Geoff Johns, Grant Morrison, Eryk Davis Ester, and MLLASH and a plethora of artists bring you the beginning of DC's stunningly innovative new series, which details, over the course of sixty issues, the strangest hour in the lives of our heroes! Each issue details the minute-to-minute reaction of our heroes to a time period in which there are absolutely no Crises that alter their continuity! What diabolical force could be behind this mysterious consistency? And will the very detailed backstory of each of our main characters established in this series last past the end of the Zero Crisis Hour? Keep reading!
From: Liberty City | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Eryk Davis Ester
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All-Star Zero Crisis Hour #2 In this issue, everything you thought you knew about Zero Crisis Hour turns out to be false! New writers Marv Wolfman, Mark Waid, Cobalt Kid, and Cleome are joined by superstar artist Justin Thyme (we bet you thought he was only a writer!) to present to you the issue that will change the All-Star DC Universe forever!
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Cobalt Kid
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All-Star Green Arrow #1 - Given the changes over All-Star Zero Crisis Hour, the All-Star flagship title relaunches! Yup, only two issues in and already a new #1! More details to follow with #2, but at this point, you might as well get it now with this super-hot #1 issue! Buy each of 10 alternate covers by that dynamic dynamo, Rob Liefield!
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Quislet, Esq
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All-Star Green Lanterns #1 Writer Dan Didio, Artist Quislet, Esq. Who is your favorite Green Lantern? Do you prefer the classic Hal Jordan? Has Kyle Rayner always been your Green Lantern? Does the any-thing-can-happen attitude of Guy Gardner suit you? Who doesn't like John Stewart? Now you can have them all in one. The Guardians have taken the four Earth Green Lanterns and merged them into one mega-Green Lantern. Will this signal the rebirth of the Green Lantern Corp or its demise? Something and a Green Lantern for everybody!!! Look for the limerick carefully incorporated into the artwork.

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Five billion years from now the Sun will go nova and obliterate the Earth. Don't sweat the small stuff!

From: Boston | Registered: Aug 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Nightcrawler
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quote:
Originally posted by Tamper Lad:
All-Star Canon Fodder #1. Written by Geoff Johns & Tamper Lad. Art by various. A brilliant take on how to use the DC canon, as cannon fodder of course. Remember all those characters that appeared in only a story or two back in the day, well they're back but not for long. Presented as a series of self-contained stories that when read as a story arc create a pistache of DC excellence. We begin where it all began: Someone is killing Golden Age characters in most gruesome ways.

This one is probably already in the works by DC as I type this. Peter, your phone should be ringing any minute...
From: San Diego, CA | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
3-G
If looks could kill..
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Color Crime #1

Not for the feint of heart!
Meet The Red Chef, the gay Green Giant, the Yellow Kid and the Blue Bouncer as they struggle to solve The Mystery of the Monochromatic Mangler.

Guaranteed angst, melodrama abounds, hilarity ensues, don't miss out!

[ March 24, 2009, 11:49 AM: Message edited by: Triple G ]

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I'm too sexy for my shirt.

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Cobalt Kid
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All-Star Green Arrow #2 - Green Arrow battles his new arch-nemesis, Darkseid, through time and space! On the run, he travels back in time and disguises himself as Mark Anthony, the great Roman General! Watch, as he seduces Cleopatra with talk of democracy! Cry, as Cleopatra commits suicide thinking Green Arrow dead! Laugh, as Green Arrow reveals to have faked his death to trick Darkseid, although he feels pretty bad about Cleopatra dying. Smile, as Green Arrow beats up that right-wing nut Darkseid and returns to the present with his special boxing glove/time-travel arrow! All this and more by that lovable team of Frank Miller, Cobalt Kid, Paris Hilton and brand spanking new artist, Congo Bill! Yup, even our characters are now drawing for us!
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Eryk Davis Ester
Created from the Cosmic Legends of the Universe!
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All-Star Scooby Doo #1- It's the long awaited incorporation of Scooby and the Gang into the DCU! This edgy new take on the classic series begins when a mysterious ghostly Great Dane begins appearing to Norville "Shaggy" Rogers, amatuer DJ and drug dealer at Mystery High, setting in place a sequence of events that leads to Shaggy teaming up with the beautiful Daphne, secretly the reincanation of the classic Greek nymph, Professor Ivo's latest android creation V.E.L.M.A., and Fred Jones, who is in reality Zook, former sidekick of the Martian Manhunter!

This first issue is by Casey Kassem and Yellow Kid, and also guest-stars Superman!

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Cobalt Kid
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All-Star Super Friends #2 - "The Goddamn Super Friends part 2" - Aquaman vs. Batman for the love of Wonder Woman! Meanwhile, why is Superman struggles with whether he wants to lead the Super Friends...or kill them! Plus, in this issue, witness the death of Marvin! All that and more brought to you by that groovalicious guest-creative team consisting of all of AIG's top executives!
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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