posted
Lardy can tell in an instant the exact time the 1969 film The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie will next be shown on television.
Next: Mashed Rutabagas
-------------------- The only character in all of literature who has been described as "badnass" while using the phrase "vile miscreant."
From: The Pyngwyn Colonies of Planet Hyustyn | Registered: Aug 2005
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From: Wouldn't you like to know? | Registered: Oct 2003
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cleome46
or you can do the confusion 'til your head falls off
posted
Lardy's musical powers led to him creating a secret-identity-within-a-secret-identity: Lead singer/guitarist of the nation's most popular All-Weezer Cover Band!
Next Cashmere Bouquet
-------------------- Hey, Kids! My "Cranky and Kitschy" collage art is now viewable on flickr. Drop by and tell me that I sent you.
From: Vanity, OR | Registered: Dec 2008
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posted
Lard Lad can translate a conversation between animals from different countries.
For example a French dog says "ouah ouah" while a German dog says "wau wau" and a Japanese dog says "wan wan".
Lardy can straighten out all this confusion ...
Next: Mini Apples
From: Ninja Land | Registered: Nov 2004
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cleome46
or you can do the confusion 'til your head falls off
posted
Lardy keeps an army of miniaturized Steve Jobs clones always close at hand, because you never know...
Next: Roman Candle
-------------------- Hey, Kids! My "Cranky and Kitschy" collage art is now viewable on flickr. Drop by and tell me that I sent you.
From: Vanity, OR | Registered: Dec 2008
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posted
Lardy can transmute any amount of wax, provided it has a lit wick, into an animate Roman centurian, gladiator, or other ancient historical character under Lardy's control, but only for as long as the candle would have remained burning had it not been transformed. At the end of the duration, it resumes the shape of the spent candle it would have been anyway.
Next: Friends With Benefits
From: Vancouver, BC, Canada | Registered: Dec 2003
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Set
There's not a word yet, for old friends who've just met.
posted
Whenever Lardy happens to need something, like a ride to the action in an experimental hovercar, or an expert on computer security who also happens to be familiar with nuclear regulatory protocols, or someone who conveniently to know how to get blood out of silk with common items she happens to have in her purse right this second, such a person immediately shows up, and is conveniently an old friend who owes Lardy a favor!
Next: Party Animal
Registered: Aug 2006
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From: Wouldn't you like to know? | Registered: Oct 2003
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cleome46
or you can do the confusion 'til your head falls off
posted
As Proty was to Chameleon Boy in the Silver Age, as Tige was to Buster Brown in the heyday of children's shoes, and as Billy Martin was to George Steinbrenner in the 1970s, so there's the team of...
Lard Lad and Frankly. Frankly the animate tube-shaped meat product lives most of the time in a magic ring on Lardy's left pointer finger.
When Lardy is being menaced by a mad scientist's pack of wild dogs or hungry monster mutant toddlers, however, all he has to do is say "My Dear" into the ring.
Out springs Frankly, discreetly clad in a delicious bun and all required condiments. His job is to lead the menacing carnivores away from Lardy, to their dooms. (Over a nearby cliff or into chopper blades, for instance.)
By adding the phrase, "I don't give a damn," Lardy can create an additional Frankly, as many as needed for a particular battle.
(Frankly's spirit is the ring itself, so loss of one or several corporeal bodies in battle does not mean his actual demise. He gets annoyed if Lardy accidentally leaves his ring in his uniform pocket when it's being laundered, however.)
Next: G-Clef
-------------------- Hey, Kids! My "Cranky and Kitschy" collage art is now viewable on flickr. Drop by and tell me that I sent you.
From: Vanity, OR | Registered: Dec 2008
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From: Wouldn't you like to know? | Registered: Oct 2003
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Set
There's not a word yet, for old friends who've just met.
posted
Lardy can make anyone who has eaten any sort of Mexican food (not just nachos!) in the last few hours vomit uncontrollably by shouting 'Vive la revolution!'
posted
As soon as Lardy starts singing, all people within 20 feet of him will feel the uncontrollable urge to join a flash mob and follow his every dance step.
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