posted
Lardy has the power to cause baboons to fall in love with the first living thing they see. Do yourself a favor and make sure you never get Lardy p!$$ed off at you in the presence of a baboon.
Next: Laughing Gas
-------------------- The only character in all of literature who has been described as "badnass" while using the phrase "vile miscreant."
From: The Pyngwyn Colonies of Planet Hyustyn | Registered: Aug 2005
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Set
There's not a word yet, for old friends who've just met.
posted
When Lardy passes gas, everyone within smelling distance begins laughing. The closer to the source of emanation, the longer the laughter lasts, and even days later, people in the area might get a giggle.
Next: Tennis Elbow
Registered: Aug 2006
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cleome46
or you can do the confusion 'til your head falls off
posted
When he feels the need, Lard Lad can temporarily sprout a racket from each elbow. Wood or steel, depending.
Next: Flowery Speech
-------------------- Hey, Kids! My "Cranky and Kitschy" collage art is now viewable on flickr. Drop by and tell me that I sent you.
From: Vanity, OR | Registered: Dec 2008
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posted
By speaking the name of any flower, Lardy can call one of said flower into existence. This is very handy for those last-minute anniversary gifts.
Next: Cinemascope
-------------------- The only character in all of literature who has been described as "badnass" while using the phrase "vile miscreant."
From: The Pyngwyn Colonies of Planet Hyustyn | Registered: Aug 2005
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posted
Whenever Lardy isn't certain if a nearby movie is worth paying to get into, he can will his Cinemascope into being - an undetectable external eye that can materialized only in nearby a darkened room lit only by a projected film. He can then view the film in question without paying attention.
Whenever you see Lardy sitting in the mall seemingly asleep, he's really watching something at the movieplex.
Set
There's not a word yet, for old friends who've just met.
posted
One of Lardy's most noble powers, upon touching a rabbit's foot, Lardy can use it to recreate the entire living rabbit, which he then lets free. Nobody is sure if he gets good luck from this benevolent act, but it must be good karma!
Next: Wandering Eye
Registered: Aug 2006
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posted
Lady is able to pop his right eye out of the socket. This eye then grows a pair of little legs and can scout ahead. Lardy is able to see what his Wandering Eye sees.
Next: Silver Tongue
-------------------- Five billion years from now the Sun will go nova and obliterate the Earth. Don't sweat the small stuff!
From: Boston | Registered: Aug 2003
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posted
When Lardy curls his tongue and whistles the opening bars of the "William Tell Overture," he is able to summon his faithful steed, Silver, who invariably arrives in the "proverbial nick of time".
Next: Penetra-Ventriloquism
-------------------- See Here for the latest update on the 2013 Chicago Gathering (now including tentative attendance list)
Registered: Feb 2008
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Set
There's not a word yet, for old friends who've just met.
posted
Ever hear a rumbling in your tummy, or voices in your head telling you things that you wouldn't otherwise think, like 'wow, she's hot!'?
That's Lardy using his Penetra-Ventriloquism to throw his voice inside your body.
Next: Love Handles
Registered: Aug 2006
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posted
From Antacid Lass - If two people grab Lardy's "handles" on opposite sides, They fall instantly in love
Next - Stretch Marks
From: Fort McMurray | Registered: Nov 2004
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cleome46
or you can do the confusion 'til your head falls off
posted
Wanna' know how far you can stretch that on-sale "Size 10" around your "Size 18" frame before it won't stretch anymore ? Just take Lardy shopping at the outlet malls with you ! His expert super-divining skills when it comes to clothes size will provide all the help you need-- right there at the dress rack ! You'll never have to embarrass yourself by trying on something too damn small in public ever again !
-------------------- Hey, Kids! My "Cranky and Kitschy" collage art is now viewable on flickr. Drop by and tell me that I sent you.
From: Vanity, OR | Registered: Dec 2008
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posted
Lardy has the power to make Zydeco music emanate from any given object. This power grows stronger the closer he is to Louisiana.
Next: Microwave Popcorn
-------------------- The only character in all of literature who has been described as "badnass" while using the phrase "vile miscreant."
From: The Pyngwyn Colonies of Planet Hyustyn | Registered: Aug 2005
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posted
If I eat uncooked popcorn, 24 hours later the most perfect microwave popcorn you've ever tasted--comes outta my butt! (Oddly enough, no one has volunteered to try it yet. )
Next: Party-Pubes!
-------------------- "Suck it, depressos!"--M. Lash
From: The Underbelly of Society | Registered: Jul 2003
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Set
There's not a word yet, for old friends who've just met.
posted
Lard Lad has the power to conjure up dozens of post-pubescent young people (all over the age of consent for the surrounding locality), streamers, cake and music. Sometimes clowns, too.
What did you think he meant by 'pubes?'
Next: Receding Hairline.
Registered: Aug 2006
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posted
Pressing a spot on his temples, Lardy can cause his hair to recede back into his skull like a convertible roof. His bald pate then reflects any light into a blinding glare.
Next: Frozen Assets
-------------------- Five billion years from now the Sun will go nova and obliterate the Earth. Don't sweat the small stuff!
From: Boston | Registered: Aug 2003
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