posted
If Lardy grabs two of these appetizers in each hand and then says over and over again "I do believe I can fly!", he still can't. But he can eat them and, depending on the level of spiciness, gain the ability to shoot flames out of his mouth.
Consuming several bottles of blue cheese dressing is the only way to negate the effect.
Next: Spring Break
Registered: Dec 2006
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cleome46
or you can do the confusion 'til your head falls off
posted
Lardy can ace any break-dancing competition with his patented "spring-loaded" matching shoes and headgear. Students of the form travel from all over the world to study his technique and craftsmanship.
Next: Rio Grande
-------------------- Hey, Kids! My "Cranky and Kitschy" collage art is now viewable on flickr. Drop by and tell me that I sent you.
From: Vanity, OR | Registered: Dec 2008
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Arm Fall Off Boy
Now starring in his own DC Comic, September 2011!
posted
Lardy can turn any stream into a raging river by shouting "Rio Grande!" However, this can only occur in Mexico and only on Cinco de Mayo.
Next: Liver Spots
-------------------- Long Live all them Legions!
From: North Carolina | Registered: Feb 2008
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posted
Lardy persuades national TV networks to run commercials for local North Carolina regional favorite food liver mush. (It tastes a LOT better than it sounds!)
Next: The Vapors
-------------------- "Suck it, depressos!"--M. Lash
From: The Underbelly of Society | Registered: Jul 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
Whenever Lard Lad dons a pair of speedos, all women over the age of 50 must say "Oh My! I think I'm getting the Vapors!" This helped in his apocalyptic fight with the Boy Scouts.
Next: Retention Bonus
-------------------- Five billion years from now the Sun will go nova and obliterate the Earth. Don't sweat the small stuff!
From: Boston | Registered: Aug 2003
| IP: Logged |
Arm Fall Off Boy
Now starring in his own DC Comic, September 2011!
posted
Whenever Lard Lad dons a pair of speedos, if men can retain their lunch, that's a bonus.
Next: Contrails
-------------------- Long Live all them Legions!
From: North Carolina | Registered: Feb 2008
| IP: Logged |
cleome46
or you can do the confusion 'til your head falls off
posted
Lardy can skillfully clean a chicken or fish and-- with a snap of his fingers-- turn the entrails into junk bonds !
Next: Compost Tea
-------------------- Hey, Kids! My "Cranky and Kitschy" collage art is now viewable on flickr. Drop by and tell me that I sent you.
From: Vanity, OR | Registered: Dec 2008
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quote:Originally posted by cleome: Next: Compost Tea
By putting decaying vegetable matter in boiling water, Lardy can produce an excellent cup of Earl Grey.
Next: Pull My Finger
-------------------- The only character in all of literature who has been described as "badnass" while using the phrase "vile miscreant."
From: The Pyngwyn Colonies of Planet Hyustyn | Registered: Aug 2005
| IP: Logged |
Set
There's not a word yet, for old friends who've just met.
posted
When Lardy utters the magic words, 'Cheez It, Louie, it's the cops!' everyone in his immediately area is propelled safely but swiftly hundreds of yards in every direction, and anyone viewing them loses track of where they went.
Next Continental Breakfast
Registered: Aug 2006
| IP: Logged |
-------------------- The only character in all of literature who has been described as "badnass" while using the phrase "vile miscreant."
From: The Pyngwyn Colonies of Planet Hyustyn | Registered: Aug 2005
| IP: Logged |
cleome46
or you can do the confusion 'til your head falls off
posted
Lardy owes his small fortune to this particular super-power: The foes of ever-encroaching "Big Box" stores hire him to deliver stirring oratory to their local planning committees. No legion of Mal-Wart flacks can stand for long against Lardy's classic NIMBY speech.
Next: Mustard Greens
-------------------- Hey, Kids! My "Cranky and Kitschy" collage art is now viewable on flickr. Drop by and tell me that I sent you.
From: Vanity, OR | Registered: Dec 2008
| IP: Logged |
posted
Lard Lad can cause any expanse of grass to smell like mustard.
Next: Water Board
-------------------- Five billion years from now the Sun will go nova and obliterate the Earth. Don't sweat the small stuff!
From: Boston | Registered: Aug 2003
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