posted
Suddenly, in a garden picking his nose, a giant cactus woke up!
"Prince Lordain! He's discovered that Houston is about to..."
[ February 15, 2004, 01:28 PM: Message edited by: Cobalt Kid ]
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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Eryk Davis Ester
Created from the Cosmic Legends of the Universe!
posted
Just then, Eryk Davis Ester crawled out of bed.
"Jeepers!" he cried. "I knew I shouldn't have let Porcupine Pete talk me into eating that burrito! That's the third giant cactus picking his nose dream I've had this month!"
EDE gets dressed and heads to Cafe Cramer for breakfast. There he runs into...
[ February 15, 2004, 01:34 PM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
From: Liberty City | Registered: Jul 2003
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posted
...Nads-Kicker Lass! However, she looks distressed!
"What's the matter?" says EDE, putting his hands in front of his crotch, just in case. "What brings you to Legion World?" he adds, knowing that she's not an LMBer.
"Well, you see, it's Penis Eradicator Lad! He's been..."
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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Eryk Davis Ester
Created from the Cosmic Legends of the Universe!
posted
"Well, you see, it's Penis Eradicator Lad! He's been kidnapped!"
"Willikers!" EDE exclaimed. "Well, I guess we can narrow it down to females as potential suspects. No male would dare kidnap PEL with his powers!"
"That's just it. You see, the ransom note claims that he was taken by..."
From: Liberty City | Registered: Jul 2003
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"But," began a weary EDE, "Pornis is a giant Penis! Couldn't Penis Eradicator just destroy him with one use of his powers?"
"I think so," said Nads Kicker Lass, who suddenly eyed EDE up and down and checked out his goods. "Say, are you one of the few strait LMBers?"
"Um...I, uh...you see-"
Suddenly, EDE was cut off short, as Lash Lad and Poverty Lad arrived at Cafe Cramer. "EDE, come quick! We've got a problem!"
"What could it be?" proclained Nads-Kicker Lass
"It's Vaginimus, she's attacking Legion World!"
"So, call out the LMBP!"
"It's worse! She was the help of a giant army of everyday house spiders!"
"Ick!" yelled Nads Kicker Lass, as house spiders usually scared her to the point where she wanted to kick some nads. She looked at Poverty Lad, and a familiar temperment overtook her...
[ February 15, 2004, 01:53 PM: Message edited by: Cobalt Kid ]
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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posted
...Nightcrawler, Lardlad and Emerald Empress, who were on a mission in space dealing with the spider invasion!
"No luck yet" said Nightcrawler, as Lardy and the Emerald Empress blasted the ordinary house spiders. "But Pornis and Vaginimus appearing at the same time seems odd. Any ideas?"
"Not really," replied Poverty Lad, although Lash Lad suddenly yelled out...
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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posted
"Hm...interesting," said Nightcrawler to Emerald Empress and Poverty Lad and Lash Lad (who had suddenly been teleported to space via Lardy's lard-force.
"It seems that they're seeking refuge on Legion World and aren't looking for trouble after all!" said Pov.
"But from who?" replied EE, who looked at the spiders, who seemed to be very eloquent and open to diplomacy.
"Uh-oh," said Nightcrawler, "from none other than..."
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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Eryk Davis Ester
Created from the Cosmic Legends of the Universe!
posted
"...the armies of Legion World!"
"Wha...?" Pov questioned.
"Yes, apparently they were mercilessly attacked by Legion World armies, and are seeking refuge at the one place the armies don't dare enter: Legion World itself!" Nighty explained.
"But, if the armies attacked them, it must be on the order of one of the Triumvirs!" Lash Lad reasoned.
Meanwhile, EDE was still in the Cafe with Nads Kicker Lass, whose continued flirting was making him increasingly uncomfortable...
From: Liberty City | Registered: Jul 2003
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posted
... because he was secretly attracted to her!
And also because he suspected that she was planning to kick the nads of Pov and Cobie, which would be disastrous!
Because all the most precious secrets of Legion World had been stored on two microdots that had been secretly surgically implanted on their respective nads!
And if their nads were to be kicked with the earth-shattering force of Nads Kicker Lass, then surely all those secrets would be lost forever!
EDE was contemplating his next move, when Nads Kicker Lass stood up suddenly, and strode purposefully over to ...
Registered: Jul 2003
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posted
...bend over in front of him, so he could see her thong underneath!
"Jeepers!" he exclaimed! As Nads-Kicker Lass turned on 'Sexual Healing' on the jutebox, she turned to him and said "How about a lap dance tiger?!"
EDE wasn't sure what to do, seeing as Penis-Eradicator Lad was her cousin and sometimes consort! He could do some serious damage to EDE if he found out.
Suddenly Cobalt Kid walked in. "Wait! EDE, you're here? That means the only Triumvir who could be attacking the spiders in space is Greybird! But when we last saw him, he was..."
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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posted
But when we last saw him, he was...having his wings groomed at the aviary! I gotta go make sure he's still there! Wanna come with, EDE?"
EDE looked confused for a second, then glanced over at Nads-Kicker Lass as she performed a sultry dance on top of the jutebox (apparently, the Cafe had an antique jukebox made out of the remains of some Jutes---as in Angles, Saxons and ____ from ancient English history).
Cobalt glanced over and it all became clear. "You're thinking about scoring with a girl who kicks balls for a living?"
His gaze still unwavering to the beauty and his mouth agape, EDE managed, "uh-huh."
"Well, good luck, pal. Though even I wouldn't take that chance, if you pull this one off, you'll certainly earn my admiration."
With a quick wink, Cobalt ran through the exit and flew off toward the aviary as Nads-Kicker Lass shimmied ever closer to the entranced EDE and his widespread legs.
When Cobalt arrived at the aviary, he was shocked to see.....
-------------------- "Suck it, depressos!"--M. Lash
From: The Underbelly of Society | Registered: Jul 2003
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