posted
Power Boy has been out pumping iron, kissing babies, saving space kittens from trees, and upgrading his wardrobe. All tasks that he is performing with the style, grace and dignity of a natural born leader.
I've been working with the campaign staff to put the finishing touches on our platform. So, without further ado....
The OFFICIAL POWER BOY and JERRY 2012 CAMPAIGN PLATFORM
1. PB & J will work to make Legion World a better place. We dream of Legion World being a place where achievement, virtue, generosity of spirit, excellence, harmony, intellectual curiosity, good nutrition, moral character, proper hygiene, and fairness prevail. Should that dream ever become a reality, we'll be as shocked as anyone.
2. We will promote the idea of personal responsibility. In other words, calm your own damn tits.
3. PB & J support a financially responsible Legion World. In order to save money, Nam'Lor will not be allowed to pass GO. Nam'Lor will not be allowed to collect $200. In order to increase revenues, Quislet, Esq. will be charged a small fee each time he reaches a new posting milestone.
4. Jimgallagher's book will become required reading material for all Legion World Academy students.
5. We pledge to use the Miracle Machine to bring Lian Harper back to life.
6. He Who Wanders will be asked to stay put. Dude, you're making us dizzy.
7. Future's Legion Micros will be declared a national treasure.
8. Ken Aromdee will be appointed Ambassador of Continuity.
9. Proclamations will be signed declaring official Legion World holidays for the birthdays of Bob Rozakis, Erin Gray, and Joyce Dewitt.
10. The Legion World constitution will be amended to ban straight marriage.
11. An emancipation proclamation will be signed for Legion World's sheep.
12. Unemployment benefits will be extended indefinitely for all Hot 100 posters. We can't expect you to hold meaningful employment and post all day, can we?
13. Public funds will be utilized to provide contraception to Anita Cocktail. In a nod the to the communities of faith, we will declare a day of prayer, to pray that she uses it.
14. All available resources will be used to block the appointment of Fanfic Lady as Legion World's ambassador to the Neil Gaiman Fan Club.
15. Nightcrawler will be asked to demonstrate that he can, indeed, crawl at night.
16. The highest priority of the PB & J administration will be to ensure that POV retains his right to post without pants.
posted
Although Power Boy's bulging biceps have certainly won me over, as outgoing leader, I need to know that my interests will continue to be looked after in my retirement.
-------------------- The only character in all of literature who has been described as "badnass" while using the phrase "vile miscreant."
From: The Pyngwyn Colonies of Planet Hyustyn | Registered: Aug 2005
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-------------------- The only character in all of literature who has been described as "badnass" while using the phrase "vile miscreant."
From: The Pyngwyn Colonies of Planet Hyustyn | Registered: Aug 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Jerry: ...and besides that, research indicated that the strong position on POV being without pants would appeal to your demographic.
I'd like to here more about positions and less about Pov's genetalia.
-------------------- "Suck it, depressos!"--M. Lash
From: The Underbelly of Society | Registered: Jul 2003
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I was away visiting my mom ... (that should be worth a few points in the polls right???)
From: Ninja Land | Registered: Nov 2004
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cleome46
or you can do the confusion 'til your head falls off
posted
quote:10. The Legion World constitution will be amended to ban straight marriage.
Rumors aside, I never got any wedding presents. So if you're that desperate for free appliances, you might want to consider setting up a slush fund... if indeed you have not done so already.
-------------------- Hey, Kids! My "Cranky and Kitschy" collage art is now viewable on flickr. Drop by and tell me that I sent you.
From: Vanity, OR | Registered: Dec 2008
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quote:Originally posted by Jerry: [QB]12. Unemployment benefits will be extended indefinitely for all Hot 100 posters. We can't expect you to hold meaningful employment and post all day, can we?
This has gotten my interest. What benefits are we talking to exactly, and do they extend to significant others who are not in the Top 100?
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