I-- Thora of Taltar-- am throwing this little party to celebrate my upcoming election as leader! remember how much fun you had here when voting time comes!
For you cretins who don't know, for a Sadie Hawkins Dance, the superior females ask the cretinous inferior male of their choice to attend with them.
As for who shall be escorting Thora of Taltar to the dance... Loser Lad is the fortunate cretin who has that honor. I insist on it!
I'd be honored Ms. Thora!
I hope we can cap off the evening with a good stiff flogging!
Now that I'm in my gucci mini skirt (with a low cut top), I will ask no man, I will dance like a butterfly by myself and if I so wish, I'll start, singing, like in a musical.
Great bash, Thora.
PS. Dr. Blight(Thora) stole my Wheeler!
Stop all that flogging talk before you have me tittering like a girlish man-toy, cretin!
And be at my bedchambers promptly to escort me.
Viviane, it pleases Thora of Taltar that you have chosen to be confident in yourself. Keep it up, you look truly stunning!
I love it when she invites me to her bedchambers...
Wait one moment!!
Am I to infer from Viviane's previous post that you and she are already involved?
Thora of Taltar was not aware of that.
Why thank you, this lavender dress goes with my new deep red hair color.
He's involved with me as much as he is the punch bowl, I just gave him a new nickname and ring that shoots fire.
Perhaps that perpetually single cretin Eryk Davis Ester would be a better choice to escort Thora of Taltar. Thora is no woman's cretin-thief!
No it's fine, he means nothing, I'm a Future-cretin woman.
Yeah, see, I mean nothing to her... *choke*
Oh, goodness, I was going to ask EDE for this dance. Well, Thora, you have great taste
Perhaps Lashkins, Future, or Scooter will dance with me?
I claim Future, he's my dreamboat, he has the makings to be the next Merlin.
We should divy up the men amongst ourselves.
I want Cobie, Abin, EDE, Numfies, and Future - am I too greedy?
And, by the way, that's just the very short list
Loser Lad, stop that ridiculous choking! Viviane has made herself clear.
You are escorting Thora of Taltar to the dance! Try to act like you are enjoying it!
This sounds like SO much fun!!!!
Now, who should I ask?
You can have any man you want, but I want the Future, he's mysterious and a Libra like I.
I'd ask that hunky Lightning Lad, but I know he's taken.
Wow, Viv! I'd be honored to escort you.
Sounds like Miss T has quite the exciting line-up of dates scheduled for the dance!
Oh, I know! I want to ask MLLASH! He's soooooooo dreamy!!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay, Viv - Future is closer to your age anyways.
Thora seems to have a distinct taste for Lou.
Teeds gets first dips on EDE.
Pagan Lass has first dips on her husband, Abin.
Numfies has a Mrs. too.
Cobalt is a slut
I think all the other men of LW are married or gay.
Any ideas who my pick should be?
YAY, a party! We're overdue for one!
It's a known fact that gay men can ask another man to a Sadie Hawkins.
Where's that Italian Boy, the boy who is Italian?
Thanks Future.
I think I have the perfect man for you Eye Lash, how about, Actor Lad, he's straight, single, and not a slut?
This dancing gets you thirsty, where was that punch bowl at?
Oh, does any one want anything while I'm over there?
Jeepers! You've mean I've got to wait for Teeds to ask me? I'd have better luck with Giant Robotic Lesbian!
Yeah, I've been meaning to fix that little default in Actor. But, alas, he like Cobie is not on tonight.
Hmmmmm I think I'll enjoy my time at the punch bowl till someone strikes my fancy.
GRL, she's not here, I have heard awful stories of her lesbianic come ons, I was told that she talks about Home Depot. I'm so scared.
Future, protect me.
Eryk you strike my fancy!!! Wanna cut a rug?
No need to go to the punch bowl, Viv! I'll get something for both of us and bring it back over.
Why quite the gentleman, be careful, the GRL maybe out there.
Hmmmmmmmmm it's Saturday night...
my escort has a virile '70s man-fro...
and I've got a giant eyeball floating about my head like a disco ball...
Groovy!
I think you've got more to worry about GRL than I do! I'll try to rush back as fast as I can.
I'd love to dance, ELL!
Shall we shurg?
Jillikers, Eryk, you're so right about Teeds.
She has love issues, you know. She really IS in love with you, but has to be all-Ms. Super-Independent-I Don't Need A Man Damsel.
Maybe counseling would help her.
Hmm, I wonder if ELL can shine that eye to make the whole place green?
*sigh*
Sometimes it's tough being the token fag.
Phew! Made it back with the punch, Viv. Hope GRL didn't spike it with lugnuts and loose bolts.
Lash, that's the best Adventure-era name ever. I love it! But will Teeds...?
Poor, Lashy, do you need a hug?
Originally posted by MLLASH:
Jillikers, Eryk, you're so right about Teeds.
She has love issues, you know. She really IS in love with you, but has to be all-Ms. Super-Independent-I Don't Need A Man Damsel.
Maybe counseling would help her.
Then she does that whole "Look, here's my gay fiance!" thing, and she accuses
me of having problems!
Thank you, Future, mmm, fruity.
Well, truthfully, Lashkins I think my sudden infatuation with the handsome EDE will spur Teeds into action.
Maybe I can be your token hag? At least until Italian Boy shows up
Win/win!
Um... when Teeds gets spurred into action, that usually means painful kicks to my shins!
Viv, Miss T, you're both very sweet! *hugs*
And Thora, thanks for throwing this bitchen shindig, but I think I'm off to find a more, umm... "family"-oriented party!
ELL makes a good point on foreplay, hey, Future, let's get on that dance floor.
You're a groovy dancer, Eryk! I feel like I'm walking on a cloud...
Oops! Are your toes okay?
Alright, let's go! Do you know how to dance the Shurg, Viv?
Maybe, if I don't, I'm a quick study.
zzzzzzzZZZZZZzzzzzz
Dancing makes me narcoleptic
That's right! Dance! Eat! Party! And remember to Vote Thora!
A vote for Thora is a vote for fun!
Jillikers! My toes are finally feeling better! You'd think as much stuff as gets dropped on 'em on a daily basis, I'd get used to it!
HUH? WHA! My handsome date left me high and dry for so long I left to read the first 10 pages of MEL: TS.
Willikers! You boys are full of the talent! I enjoyed picturing Ma Kem with the Grandin Gender Reversal Germs and the Zombie Shirley massaging her Pain Plagued feet.
The Zombie lap dance was hopefully something that I won't remember tonight in my dreams.
I can't wait to find out more about Two-Face Tess!!!
Ah, well, more punch and maybe my tall drink of man-water will come a courtin' again...
Maybe he will and maybe he won't but I'm here now.
Anybody know how to two step?
ABIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You always cheer me up!! I run and hug my Abin tightly.
Abin gasps and atempts to catch his breath!
Hi Gorgeous, Ummm... Care to two step?
Yes sir! *flutters her eyelashes*
Places one hand on a shapely hip (primly) and grasps the other in his...
And a one and a two...
Resting her head on Abin's manly chest...
Oh, Abin you dance divinely! I hope your toes dont mind me on them *smiles*
Just keep your feet where they are... They fit perfectly atop my size 11-1/2's
and you feel as light as a fether while we're dancing...
Aww, how romantic, and what big feet, well you guys know that saying.
Big Feet = Kind Heart?
Is that the saying you're refering to?
Yeah, that's the one, you like my dress, Abin?
Your Dress is abso-fragging-loutly gorgeous Viv...
And ELL You warm my heart!
Tonite I am the luckiest man on the face of Legion World. Imagine Lil ole me trapped between two such stunningly lovely ladies...
You are lucky, but don't you think your getting me out of this dress, it's impossible, I had it sewn on me to get the super curvaceous look.
Abin I could just eat you whole! You're sweeter than a pluberry and cuter than an albino, talking monkey! Squeezes you tightly - very tightly!
They are so cute...whoa...had little dizzy spell.
Maybe it's the alcohol, pills and lack of circulation, that makes me feel light headed?
Sewn on? I thought it was tattooed on! But it is you! And a wonderful you I might add...
ELL Baby! You are the cuddlyest armsfull on Legion World! Squeeze me!
:Swoons:
Maybe that punch really WAS spiked, Viv. I better drive you home myself.
There are worse fates...
But would I be a flannel shirt or a halter top?
And Viv If you're still feeling light headed come over here and sit a spell...
I don't need a ride, I only put two gallons of vodka in the punch, not to mention the pound of vicadon. What, the punch tasted funny.
Thats not punch. That's Kick-a-Poo Joy Juice!
Whatever, just don't tell my doctor, I'm not supposed to drink anything sweet.
*giggle* Kickapoo *giggle*
Abin do you mind if I lay my head on your lap? I'm feeling kinda recline-y.
Here, ELLy Just lay back and relax whilst I stroke your beautiful hair.
*hiccup*
I saw a movie that started like this...Oh, my...let's just hope Abin's not packing any weapons in his pants.
WHERE THE HELL ARE MY PILLS!?!
Of course I'm not packing any weapons in my pants... I'm dressed in Scottish Finery!
ELLy Baby... Here swallow this, it'll cure your hiccups...
*gasp* *choke* I need something wet to help it go down. Any punch left?
Now, she's going to feel better and then he'll...I can't watch,
DID THE DOG EAT MY PILLS!?!
i luv puppie wuppies *drooling* Gosh, i feel goofy
I don't understand why, I made the punch like I normally do.
Here, Let's get you some fresh air... and coffee... and B-12...
Viv you can watch. I'm too much of a gentleman to take advantage of an inebriated lady...
A sober one however...
Inebriated, what? I'm not, hey!
You think I'm drunk, drugged up.
Honey, this isn't drunk, this isn't drugged, this is an E! True Hollywood Story in the making!
Viv! It wasn't you I was talking about...
But... If this is an E True Hollywood Story? Which of you two lovly Ladies is the hostess with the mostest?
Host, it's about me, a High Priestess of Avalon that can't get drunk.
The Lady of the Lake that can eat pills like candy and feel no reprecutions.
Viviane, the new deep crimson haired magic-vixen that can fit into this dress.
Viv! I can't walk. Cast a spell to put me in my bed for a long winter's nap. Man this is gonna be an awful hangover!
G'nite Abin & Viv.
(Summons a fog-like substance)
This cloud will take you to bed.
G'Night ELLy, Sweet Dreams and no hangovers!
Viv, Your show will be divine... A STAR IS BORN!
Dream the Dream then MAKE it come TRUE!
You shall be my 18th husband, but you will be the father of my first child, which I need in ten months. Better get started.
*Prowrr*
Hmmm... Seems like we have a month to make that happen... No need to hurry!
Yes High Priestess... I Obey!
Nope, sit right down and relax.
Screw this, I need a child!
(Throws up a mystical shroud, in five minutes takes it down)
Abin, do you see my bra anywhere?
<Pulls Black Lace Bra off of his head>
Is this it?
OOPSIES, Here it is!
<Pulls Bra out of his back pocket>
Are you sure we were alone in that cloud?
Yeah, Oh my Goddess, look at my stomach, what have you done?
Hey, you're the one who couldn't wait!
Oh, I see, the Mists of Avalon alter time, so my womb thinks nine months have passed even though it's only been five minutes.
Five Minutes? That felt like five hours! God, I'm exhausted!
Smoke cigarette, being pregnant is tiring, I'm turning in.
G'Night Viv...
I still don't think we were alone in there...
Originally posted by Thora:
Loser Lad, stop that ridiculous choking! Viviane has made herself clear.
You are escorting Thora of Taltar to the dance! Try to act like you are enjoying it!
I had a wonderful time at the dance Thora. I'm sorry I was so quiet all night Mistress. I'm just shy around such a stunning example of womanhood.
Nothing a good stiff flogging won't remedy...
Your desire to be flogged pleases Thora of Taltar, handsome cretinous one!
Remove your clothing at once and step ino my bedchamber!
Glad to see everyone enjoying this Sadie Hawkins Dance! I wonder when the next one will be and if I'll be able to get off Security Duty in time to attend?
Thora have you forgotten me???
Thora of Taltar forgets nothing!
Vote Thora!
Wow! Last night was a hoot! I can't seem to find my bra, though. It was black.
Shhhhhhhh! Not so loud as I seem to have an awful headache today.
Originally posted by Thora:
Your desire to be flogged pleases Thora of Taltar, handsome cretinous one!
Remove your clothing at once and step ino my bedchamber!
Yes ma'am!
Is the dance still going on?
Too bad there weren't any other gay guys around last night for me to dance with! When's the next bash, Thora?
I suppose I could have danced with you Lash, you being my Super Hep-Uranus Mentor... of Space, but I was kinda occupied...
Sorry...
Hmmm... I hate to do this to my mentor two nights in a row, but...
Two step or shag ELLy?
Where's Viv for today's dance? I hope I haven't gotten space-stood up!
I'd love to shag (with) you, Abin!
Future looks so lonely. Maybe Lashkins will ask him to dance
Okay, ELLy let's cut a rug...
Nah, I'm good... I like watching these bizarre straight mating rituals in progress!
Those rituals are slightly bizarre, but loads of fun!
It's okay Miss T and Lash. I'll just go take up my position beside the punch bowl as the Super Wallflower...of Space!
(sneaks in to spike the punch)
(good thing I'm 'hardly ever around.' easier to be sneaky)
<font size="10">FREE SNO CONES EVERYDAY!
FREE TOY BATTLESHIP FOR EVERY VOTE!
FREE EDE AFRO WIG FOR EVERY VOTE!
PUBLIC SPANKINGS WIHT THE SCARED PADDLE!
</font s>
Hmmm... The music is still playing but where did all the people go?
Just a dance?
Sentients, I have come searching for the mysterious person known as Trysexual Girl. I believe one of her selves has something I need to take care of.
Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(I need to get the terms straight before she hauls me into court)
She's had the kids - all 9 of them. Turns out you are the father of all 9 kids, Spacey. Genetics are so wacky!
Sentient, please tell me that the caregivers she has retained for the children are familiar with Daxamite Rapid Growth Syndrome. It can cause some rather disturbing effects. Not on the children, but on those who are attempting to care for them. Nine Active and Super Powerful Infants can quickly become quite difficult to manage.
Truth and Justice shall Prevail
(This could become a problem!)
Medicus One is THE premiere medical satellite of Legion World. Still, if you are concerned you could journey to page 3 or beyond and check on my sister for yourself. They do love you so!
Sentient, I know that I will be able to develop a fine relationship with my children as they grow. I'm more worried about the safety of the medical staff. Daxamite/Carrgite children are normally exceedingly powerful and difficult to handle during the post natal stage as they learn to control their abilities.
Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(French Fried Nurses smell terrible!)
I understand your concerns, Spacey, but these children aren't quite what you're expecting.
Haven't you wondered how Miss T (a Naltorian) & Cobalt Kid (a... legendary poster) produced a Cargggite such as myself? Not to mention my Bgztlian, Orandi, Imskian, Talokian, Titanian, Braalian, Xanthuan, and Tromite siblings.
Please understand Try, The Daxamite genes will be prominent in each of the children. They will exhibit all of their inherited genetic abilities, but those abilities will be enhanced by the Daxamite component of their genetic makeup. Trust me! I've been through this before.
Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(and I've got the scars to prove it!)
Can you help our children Spacey? Can you stabilize their potentially catastrophic gene structures?? This sounds like it could make the Validus Plague look like Sniffilitus
It's not their gene structures that are the problem, it's the fact that they will rapidly age to approximately 3-5 years old and then resume normal development... Super Powerful Toddlers can be a handful to keep out of trouble.
Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Just ask Lash about the trouble Super Lash Tot can cause!)
You forget, Spacey, or perhaps you did not know...
As the offspring of Cobalt Kid, I aged from newborn to young adult in moments. It's Father's demonic seed. I'm afraid our children will most likely age to post-adolescence too. Especially now that you've told me this.
Well... We'll See... But I think we better be prepared for the middle possibility... a bunch of pre-teens!
Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Super Soccer Mom & Dad... of Space!)
Willikers! Maybe that catchy guru of bumper stickers, Future, will create one for our Super Minivan... of Space!
Try & Spaced: The Super Soccer Mom & Dad of Space!
Geez. Great thread, looks like I picked a bad weekend to be busy.
See! I told you those kids weren't mine!
*whew*
Oh, my Goddess, Abin knocked me up.
High Priestess, I am the brother of Try Girl who is the baby mama of Space Ranger who is the brother of Abin Quank who you claim is your baby daddy. When's the family reunion?
Not ~ah~ now, ~ah~, I'm...going ~ooh~ into...LABOR!
AAAHAHHAAA!!!!
breathe!
thaaat's it,... keep breathing!
push!
AAAAHHHH!
I want the drugs!!!
NO! DON"T GIVE ME THE DRUGS!!!
GET IT OUTTTTT!!!!!
Staring in horror...
Maybe it's really Abin Quank who has the demon seed. Yeesh!
Willikers! The Sadie Hawkins Dance has turned into a place full of babies and drugs!
As if I haven't had enough of that lately! I might have to start another baby-free thread!
Turns to hear his dad...
Xufferin' Xanthu, Pop. Do you have to say it in front of me like that?
~huuh~
Let me see it.
It's a girl.
Originally posted by Starcrossed:
Turns to hear his dad...
Xufferin' Xanthu, Pop. Do you have to say it in front of me like that? Aw, just kidding a little! Besides, you kids are old enough to handle a little ball-busting!
*Sigh* They grow up so fast...
<blinks once, twice, three times>
A lady!
I'm naming her Opal Janell, she's so cute, but I'll have to raise her by myself, Abin just knocked me up and left.
Whaaaahh!
~Tears of pain~
Babies been born at parties... why do I feel like I'm reading a Murdoch paper?
Jeepers! I take a short nap and all heck breaks loose!
I have a daughter? Opal Janell Quank?
*Faints*
She's beautiful. You Jackass!!!
Who said she wasn't? I'm just overwhelmed by the enormity of it all... But since you're already running off with Future after I gave you the best five minutes of my life, I think I'll start a Custody Battle!
You'll be hearing from My Space-Lawyers!
Wonder what Pagan Lass will have to say about all of this when she finds out. You know either Ranger or Stoopid Cat will let it slip!
Umm... She's very understanding... Yeah, especially since... Thinking, Thinking...
*Gulp*
I guess I better make sure I retain AALLL the Space Lawyers!
I have a couch that folds out in the Cave if you need a place to crash for awhile Abin...
Thanks Lou...
Ummm... Your cave is well protected... Isn't it?
It's cleverly hidden. Even Space Tart couldn't find it the last time Cobie had to hide out there!
Whew... Like I said, Thanks Buddy!
But the Idea that this has reduced me to Cobie's level...
*Shudder*
I'll get some fresh sheets for you.
The bathroom is in the second cavern to the left. Don't forget to jiggle the handle after you flush!
Jiggling things is what got me into this mess...
Originally posted by Abin Quank:
Whew... Like I said, Thanks Buddy!
But the Idea that this has reduced me to Cobie's level...
*Shudder*
Welcome to the club Abin! Your badge is in the mail!
Interesting thread...
I think I'll be going to the next LW Dance. You'll take me, won't you, Cobie-bear...
I certainly will, Pagan Lass
Um, Abin, I don't think the Cave's really the best place for you to hide out right now. I mean, Pagan Lass has Cobalt Kid and his Security Team looking for you, and he knows where the Cave is. It's only a matter of time before they find you here.
In other words dude, RUN!!!
Abin, if the cave is too hot for you can always hide out at my place.
Sure Horace is a
but he wont mind for a while.
If I ramp up The Faraway force to send all callers faraway that should protect you.
Originally posted by Abin Quank:
Who said she wasn't? I'm just overwhelmed by the enormity of it all... But since you're already running off with Future after I gave you the best five minutes of my life, I think I'll start a Custody Battle!
You'll be hearing from My Space-Lawyers!
You insolent fool. I'm the Lady of the Lake, I'm a demi-goddess. I'm powerful, I run my own dimension which has a nice island. I train priestesses. I'm a security officer. I can provide the ultimate protection. I'm rich, I can breast feed, I make a great lemon bar.
And this isn't my first child. There's been:
Lancelot
Angus
Rohan
Garrett
Ruther
Phillip
August
Henry
Lily
Marguerite
Jacqueline
Gothel
Thomas
Jason
Micheal
William
John
Richard
Matthew
Luke
Frances
Leonard
Galyn
Ray
Orlando
Christopher
Donald
Sean
Barak
Jean Luc
Alexander
Remington
Edward
Geoffery