.....since "he" (playing the odds here) has never posted to the "Introduce Yourself" thread!

1) Once robbed a bank to support his bubblegum addiction.

2) Used to call up the Comics Code Authority and ask if they had pop in a space-bottle.

3) Had a cameo in "E.T.: The Extra Terrestrial" as one of the haz-mat guys.

4) Gave Legion World 3 stars (of five) on Yelp

5) always, no matter what, puts left shoe on first

My part didn't involve the hazmat suit at first. But the casting guy said I should put it on as having two aliens on the set would confuse the audience.

Thanks to therapy, I'm over that as long as no one mentions it on message boa....Waaaahh!

6) thothkins super-secret avatar (which you weren't cleared to see, until now!) is...

He has an almost unhealthy attraction to daffodils.

8) always wears suits, argues that Ralph Macchio was the villain in the Karate Kid movie, and is half-sibling to Wayne Brady.

9) Was Paladin's "rebound" after the thing with Rocky fell apart.

10) Has every episode of "Hello, Larry" on Betamax tapes.

11) also sometimes known as the Thothacle.

This list is going to be LEGEND--wait for it--DARY.

12. wears short-shorts

13. Auditioned for the role of Hannibal Lecter using his stage name, Anthony Thothkins, but was rejected because the director thought he had a speech impediment.

14. Was once flipped into the shrubs by a large bunny with a pancake on its head. There is, apparently, some back story, but the court documents are sealed.

15. His secret code name's code name is Alex.

16. There is no 16th fictional fact

17. Memorized the lyrics to the X-files theme song.

18. Is actually a Durlan trapped in humanoid form.

19. Peebz, Fanfie and I saved his life. In thanksgiving, he offered us each a hearty handshake.

20. Once sculpted a bust of Paladin's bust utilizing a mixture of mashed potatoes and feces.

21. Was the mysterious fifth member of the 'Shooter Four' inducted to the Legion at the same time as Princess Projectra, Ferro Lad (aw...), Karate Kid (aw...) and Nemesis Kid (boo!).

22. Owes me twelve bucks!

...that you still owe me $12 for. C'mon I've debts to pay further down the thread.



Known to the team as "That Shy Kid" although appeared in Morrison's Doom Patrol as "Number None"


Close., but actually a humanoid trapped in a Durlan form during a cultural exchange programme. Who'd have thought that the old "If the wind changes your face will stick like that." adage worked for Durlans mid change - see also ET revelation above.

23. Likes to walk on all fours, naked, in public, and pee on fire hydrants.

When I'm expressing that Durlan side...mostly.

24. Has hilarious personal anecdote regarding a Legend of Bagger Vance/Journey of Natty Gann mixup (although no one has, to date, recognized its brillance)

Well, it's not as though the Depression didn't have it's funny moments...

25. Is circulating a petition for bidets to be installed in all the restrooms on Legion World.

I have one. Doesn't everyone else have one?

No, it's not for laundering your socks in...

well, it's not only for laundering your socks in...

26. Calls 911 to complain when restaurants get his order wrong.

27. Rocked down to Electric Avenue. Forgot to take it higher.

I thought it was "...walk down to Electric Avenue." No wonder everyone had left by the time I got there.

28. Has 7 "Honk If You're Horny" bumperstickers and 0 vehicles.

I thought it would be strutting up and down the side walk wearing nothing but a life preserver that would have drawn the comments, rather than the number of stickers I had on me.

29. Took random alley cats hostage and dressed them up as Legionnaires.

All cats became Ignore Me Utterly Lad/Lass before I could even get the uniforms out of the bags...

As I stare down the alley from my cardboard box throne, I think of them as my evil Legionnaire minions and that I am Darkseid. Of course, some of that may be related to the meths*

*see also 1-28

30. Eschews both stuffing and potatoes at Thanksgiving, to the great consternation of his family.

31. Sees dead people........

32. Runs around in a cheap wig, shaking a tambourine and chanting, "Meeleeteeteeteeteeteetee."

33. Once broke Ann Hebistand's heart.

34. Posted a video on YouTube of himself singing "I Just Called to Say I Love You."

34a. He was lip-synching over a recording of Milli Vanilli actually singing.

34b. And wearing a headband and a cheap dreadlock wig (what is it with thothkins and cheap wigs?)

35. He is also a frugal Whig.

36. Crossed "sun tea" with "compost tea" and created 2014's hottest, most profitable fad diet!

37. Orders takeout in various imagined accents of fictional races. Three restaurant chains have since banned his number after complaints from operators who had to endure his Vyrgan accent.

Or is it due to intelligent hair replacement, a frugal wig?

Just for the record, I was caught singing Electric Avenue down what I thought was an empty corridor at work last week. Thank you Legion World.

38. Works at a chop shop.

38a. Swears he's Elvis.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JSivxy4rCQk

39. Uses The 1812 Overture as "Mood Music."

The local orchestra say that repeat customers are down, due to the cannon casualties from last year's performance.

40. Writes angry notes to people who mispronounce his name in front of him.

41. Thought this list would be completed in a timely manner. Ha, ha, ha!

42. Will have his own "Whatever happened to thothkins?" thread by the time this list finishes!

43. Will reveal that he has the most powerful LMB power of us all.

44. Snuck over in the middle of the night and totally divided up my rhubarb beds! What a sweetie!

and cleome has now revealed what the the most powerful LMB power is ... rhubarb, rhubarb, post, post, rhubarb, post, rhubarb..

45. Has made duplicates of himself ala Duplicate Damsel!

I must have had the power in me all along! Thora only showed me it was there. Hee hee hee:)

46. Blames everything that happens to him, good or bad, on Thora

It's a thoran in my side, to be sure

47. His last temper tantrum caused an earthquake that sank Atlantis. (Who knew he was so old?)

48. Was the inspiration for that old Multiplication Rock song about the planet where everyone had twelve toes.

Everyone before Atlantis had at least twelve toes, you young whipper-snappers! Now get off of my sunken island before I call the cops!

49. Is really a clone of rickshaw. (Git off mah island!)

If it comes to it... I want to be the purple Rickshaw. The other Rickshaw can be the orange one.

50. Ditched osiriskins and isiskins from the pop music trio Life Sphinx to pursue his own solo career

51. Inventor of the toggle bolt.

52. Had all his teeth replaced by titanium bolts so he wouldn't have to worry about cavities from eating all those sweets.

53. He was On People Magazine's 50 Cutest People of 1998 list.

... in a misprint. The "Kid with Titanium Toggle Teeth" was supposed to be in the "50 people you'd not want to meet" article in the next issue.

I thought they would look great reflecting the disco lights in my solo career. I should have just twerked along with everyone else...

54. Dreams of celery.

Celery. Call on me. Call on Meeeeee. Celery....

- to Steve Winwood's Valerie.

55. Was once in a production of 'Oh Calcutta' that toured Gallifrey.

56. Is a consistently compulsive double-dipper.

57. Actually met, and briefly dated, a yeti.

57a. Is actually half-yeti.

Sadly, that's the half people like best >choke<

57b. The other half is a scientologist.

which explains why

58. Once hosted a public-access game how called, "Black Market Organ Donor" under the pseudonym "Hal Ninequay," until it was shut down by the Dept of Weights and Measures. This is why he will not under any circumstances return to Cincinnati.

59. Actually prefers to shower while fully clothed.

60. Some people are ambidextrous. Thothkins is ambipedrous, so he's always putting his best foot forward.

Usually that best foot then goes straight into my mouth.

For example, all the people I meet who aren't interested in combining cleaning oneself in a shower along with one's clothes. A save in time, and money as well as helping the environment. Detergent can even replace your deodorant. Common sense, yet I'm the odd one?

61. Was originally from Cargg, but snuffed his other selves so they would stop running up his credit card bills.

They were like me. Just like me. Every mood, every habit, every thought. I hated them all. That meant they would hate me too. There was no choice. Something else else had to be done.

- Excerpt from Cargg Crime Compendium #3

62. Dated one of the characters from Archie Comics, but will not tell who it was.

63. Once served in the House of Lords, but was thrown out for *not* being involved in a scandal.

64. Will only know that we dropped and broke fictional fact #64 if we let on.

65. Has been the lead stuntman in every episode of Downton Abbey.

66. Prefers Pride and Prejudice without Zombies, but Sense and Sensibility with Sea Monsters.

And like so many, the Great Gatsby with Giraffes is also a favourite. The cat likes Of Mice and Men, but I have to skip all the men parts...which sounds rude when I type it.

67. Hasn't been anxiously awaiting the return of this thread

68. Hasn't already anticipated the remaining 34 fictional facts and thought of appropriately confusing replies for each of them.

Nope, not a bit. Bookmarks and screen shots don't count right?



Hey! Everything I say mocks complete sense!

69. Apologized to Complete Sense for making a mockery of it.

70. Loooooved the 1970s and maybe even has a personal 1970s museum, but may wish to dial back expectations of these 70s.

71. once did that thing

I had my fingers crossed1 I make no apologies, I'm sorry to say! No I'm not! Because I make no apologies!



Dial F for Funky!



In the 70s! We were all doin' it then. Some of us are still doin' it now! Yeah!

72. Secretly envies Pietro Maximoff.

Pietro matching superiority complex/ emotional restraint thanks to British genes (and generations of Hollywood villain playing)...check.

Ability to be both on the side of good and bad, and numerous shady areas in between, simultaneously thanks to British genes...check

Clever array of put downs thanks to British genes (and Carry On movies)...check

Wow! Who's the foxy lady (see stuck in '70s above) in red? Wow! I envy how close you guys seem...oh hang on, that's your sister isn't it Pietro? Eeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwww! Tries to get over it by watching Star Wars... Eeeeeeeeeewwwwwwww!

LOL

Re: Pietro & Wanda incest, I once plotted (but ended up not writing) a fanfic which would have revealed that Magneto & Magda were both demon-possessed -- by Dormammu & Umar, respectively, when they conceived their twins.

73. Had a sister with reality manipulating powers, but after a particularly trying day, she said 'No More Muppets' and vanished from the space-time continuum, along with Kermit the Frog and Big Bird. The latter two returned in the next reboot.

If she had really said "No More Muppets" I'd not be here typing this

(Boy, what a rube.)

Hey, interested in a lightly used Fete au 5?

I think my mum warned me against anything like that.

But my schedule for world domination.... all down to the last second.... ruined by Teeds! Earth is saved once again! Bah!

74. Is (im)patiently waiting for this list to reach 101, because then and only then does he attain his final form, and gain ultimate cosmic power. He's been practicing his evil laugh in the mirror for months, but promises that his villain monologue will be short, and the ensuing executions swift and capricious.

I'm sure I gave away ultimate cosmic power while I was decluttering last month. Who needs every sentient in the galaxy moaning about everything? And I am not a capricious, I am a sagittarius... or am I ? silly moving galaxies... I used to know this... where did I put my ultimate cosmic power....ah...

75. Would rather lip sync "Mirror Man" for his villain victory monologue TikTok vid than any other Human League song, and I totally support this choice.

Well, just like Mirror Man, I too am a people fan.

A fan of them running in terror from my hordes of levitating vampiric brains.

Never mind other people. It's what I require. My every dream, hope, desire.

77. Thoth's favorite vampiric brain is named "Fluffy".

78. The only speed of old records he collects. It can make DJ-ing at parties a bit awkward, but with commitment to one's art anything's possible.

Film Critics still point out that one of the Fiends in the 1956 film The Invisible Faceless Fiends is wearing a bonnet to keep out the cold, rendering a bit less invisible than its peers.


And none of your post 1925 electrical 78s either! Give me that original acoustic sound!