So, as some of you guys know - either through my postings here, or through in-person chats that we had over the summer during "100 Toothpicks" - for the past year or so, I've sort of been going through a personal identity crisis (albeit in a good way).

For anyone reading this that doesn't know my somewhat odd life situation - about a year ago, I was fortunate enough to reach a place in my life where I suddenly found myself completely free of any sort of financial obligations. My house was paid off, I had a nice retirement nest egg, I had no bills other than just recurrent things like power and phone, no kids to help out with college plans... I was just free and clear at the ripe old age of 39.

That sounds awesome and - don't get me wrong - although it totally is... it's also a little bit scary. To coin an odd phrase - "With no responsibility... comes great power". For the first time in my life, I literally didn't have to do anything. If I wanted to - at any point - I could just walk away from my job and do anything else I wanted for a living.

The problem was... I had no idea what that was.

For a time I had been thinking that I might go to school for music and parlay my interest in the piano into something monetize-able, but - if I were to be absolutely honest - my love for piano outweighs my talent for it by a long shot. No... piano is a great hobby, but it's not really my dream. So what is?



My wife knew what she wanted. After a decade and a half of working in finance, she decided that she wanted to say goodbye to the corporate world and start studying massage therapy. A radical departure, right? Nevertheless, it was her dream, so... taking about a half year... she laid out the numbers, figured out a game-plan, made contacts for post-school employment, enrolled in school and... voila! As of this past August, she left her job and is now a full time student heading toward her licensing, with a job already lined up after graduation.

Me, on the other hand... not so much.



"Well," Mrs. Nihil said last May, "what are some things that make you happy? Why don't you indulge that for a bit while you figure things out?"

"Hmmm... well, I love travel... I like meeting and talking with new and interesting people... I'm very fond of a well-made martini".

"OK... well... you're pretty creative... is there anyway you could maybe combine those into something?"



Heh.



Well... as 25 of you found out over this past summer... sometimes a rather insane combination of elements like that can yield up some amazing results. "100 Toothpicks" was a blast (and will be again when the weather warms up next year). Not a day went by over those three and a half months that I didn't marvel at how what had seemed like an impossible task was slowly coming to fruition through the combination of a bit of focus and planning... and a whole lot of unwavering belief.

It was - in no small part - that realization that no dream, no matter how ludicrous, was unachievable if you just took the right steps to make it a reality, that helped me finally come to a decision. For as much fun as I was having meeting all you guys - beneath it all, there was a mercenary aspect to my travels. Many of the conversations I've had with you guys over this past year, along with - of course - the conversations I've had with family and friends, have helped me come to a clearer picture of what the next phase of my life is going to hold. It was something that I've often thought about over the years, but always thought it was too radical a thing to pursue

But... after a year of introspection and contemplation - and the help of many people, including you guys - I've made a decision regarding my next career move, and... as with most "Nihil Productions"... it's a freaking doozy.



Ahem.



In a heretofore unexpected turn of events, I am - against all odds - going to transition out of the corporate world... and become an Air Rescue Helicopter Pilot.



Voice of Self-Doubt: "Wh...? You're...? Th... that... that... No offense there, Ex, but that is absolutely ludicrous!"

No... driving around the country hitting up dozens of random comic book fans to buy me a drink was "absolutely ludicrous".

Letting go of any and all misgivings, fulfilling a lifelong dream of flying, and getting into a line of work where I can help people far more than I ever could in my current situation - while most definitely unexpected - is, nevertheless, the thing that I am going to do... again - with focus, planning, and a whole lot of unwavering belief.

Voice of Self-Doubt:"Bah. That's all fine and good... but do you have any idea how long something that takes?"

Yup... it takes longer each day that I don't start making it happen.

Voice of Self-Doubt: "Hmmph. And when exactly are you starting this ridiculous venture?"

"Starting?" To paraphrase Alan Moore: I'm not a Republic serial villain, voice of self-doubt. Do you really think I'd tell you my next move if there remained the slightest chance of you affecting its outcome?

I started three weeks ago.






Voice of Self Doubt: "You know what? Fine! Chase your loony dreams, Ex... but I hope you know this isn't going to do any favors for your hairstyle. It gets mighty windy around helicopters"





Oh, my god... he's right! Maybe I haven't thought this through!

Speaking as a guy from a city where the main news this past weekend was "police helicopter crashes into crowded pub, kills everyone aboard and several inside, while causing serious injury to others"... Good luck!

very sad.

Okay, which one of you toothpickers suggested, "flying around in a cramped beanie" as a possible career move?

Wasn't I. I suggested something safe, go live in a jungle helping leprosy victims.

Continuing my absconding of the thread, I think helicopter is about the only mode of convenience I haven't managed, sub-orbital. A couple ways under water. About every type of ship (except carrier, which has it's own classification) on water. Hitched rides in cars, bikes, motorbikes, ambulances, army vehicles, logging trucks (seriously, everyone needs to do that), cargo ships, cigarette boats, houses on wheels as opposed to rec vehicles which I've also hitched, semi's of every make an model, yakuza's in fancy cars, women with tops up and tops down, eh hemm, people with poodles and beatniks in beetles. Oh, and my first car was a Pinto.

When you get your license, drop a ladder if you're flying by.

Yeah, Reboot, believe it or not I actually heard that news story Saturday morning as I was heading to my lesson. Horribly tragic, and very sobering. I'm very curious to hear what they determine was the cause, as it doesn't appear that the pilot made any emergency calls.




OK, BB, that's a promise... but you're not going to like it. Given that even my tiny training helicopter has it, I'm guessing that all of them come equipped with your nemesis... a GPS!

I'm doing a memory scan to recall any hints of Air Rescue Helicopter Pilot.

Nah, I'm blank. But then, I'm getting old. Or you touched on it so lightly, the way one does with tentative treasures, that I didn't register it.

But all the background and all the reasons, yeah, I see it.

You're already my hero, T. I'm both proud and envious of you for going for it.

My very first flight was in a glass-bubble helicopter over the Smokey Mountains. Loved it!

BTW, I still want to hear you play the piano, dude. Pachelbel or any old thing.

It's been a good day around here, and you just added a big ol' bonus smile.

How do you fit in that helicopter? Seriously, you look like Paul Bunyan next to that thing!

'Exnihil smash puny helicopter!'

As usual, you're threads Ex give me the combined feeling of "wow, freaking kewl!!" and just generally feeling a bit inspired. I love that you and your wife are following your dreams! It's a bit of a reminder that on the days I'm feeling trapped / discouraged / unfulfilled, putting one foot in front of the other and heading in the right direction is a good start to overcoming those feelings.

Keep us updated!

And definitely the next time I get stuck drunk at the top of a rooftop bar, I'll call you for the emergency evacuation! Just be careful for the swat team trying to capture me.

A little of that may just be a trick of perspective, but - yeah - my initial training is on a small two-seater, the R22 Beta II. Both myself and my instructor fit in comfortably with enough room for each of us to handle the controls, but I guess there's not too much room for much else. I think, at least initially, that's sort of the point - as it helps that there aren't too many distractions.




Trust me, man, it took me a long time to learn that, and - to a great deal - I credit LW with helping me to keep it in focus. I have probably tried more (and more creative) ventures since becoming part of this community than I ever had previously in my life. Trying so many different things over the years that I thought were beyond me (and being so encouraged in doing so) has really helped me let go of a lot of fear that might have otherwise prevented some amazing experiences. Thanks, online therapy group!




It wasn't so much a distinct suggestion by anyone, LT, but more the overall concept that was reinforced again and again of the things made possible simply by embracing change. So many people I met this summer were going through such dramatic shifts in their lives - Lance, or Jerry, or Conjie, or Rick, or on and on - and yet were coming out the other end smiling and ready to tackle what was next. Whether it was Lash's selflessness in helping his family, or Emily challenging herself by traveling to the other side of the world, or Fat Cramer and her husband basically embodying the concept that "You can stop being anything," I was incredibly inspired by all of you.

Regarding the specific form that's taking for me, I have been in love with the sky for as long as I can remember. In my former army career as a paratrooper I was always surrounded by pilots, and was always totally envious. If I had stayed in longer, I likely would have gone that route, as well, but - at the time - I had bigger fish to fry in the civilian world. Now, that chapter is over, and it's time to revisit that dream. A few years back, I took some lessons in fixed wing flight, but I didn't feel the same sense of immediacy and connection that I do with helicopters. From both a practical and a personal fulfillment standpoint, it just feels right, and that's really sort of the acid test that's always proven itself to me, so... off we go.

Ex, sounds like you've found your passion in life. Congratulations and don't let anyone, including yourself, dissuade you. Look to the Skies!

1) that helicopter is quite small

2) be careful

3) EXCELSIOR!

4) are you going to wear a cape when you fly around!


good for you Ex, keep going!

So what you're saying, send you a google map so you don't get lost.

GPS, bah. We don't need no stinkin GPS.

Good luck. Good flying. Don't know if I'd mentioned, but my high school training was Aviation Mechanic, certified and everything. Always wanted to fly but it's not a good hobby for a clumsy dolt like me.

Follow your dream, and remember we are always here for you. I will have to remember you during my next 14-hour flight to China.

But not only the skies. Look to the ground things too. Oh, and obstruction thingies sitting on the ground, but not quite in the sky. Look to those too.

It's lovely to read such a fulfilling post.

It... it is?

No... no, Peebs, I'm sure you're wrong.

I mean... what is average, anyway?

Congrats, Ex! Very happy for ya!

Okay, I understand now. It's mighty, it's quick...and you're taller than it is.

Kinda like when you and Lardy are together.

Wonderful for you, Ex. It takes guts and a lot of self awareness to realize what you want and to go for it.

When I was a kid, I loved helicopters, too. The fact that they could hover, fly slowly, and fly close to the ground made them more immediate and versatile than airplanes. My cousin, who is an airline pilot, once told me he thinks helicopters are an insane way to travel--nothing but a few rotors hold them in the air. But sometimes you have to be a little insane to be in love with life and the possibilities.

That you want to combine your love of helicopters with helping others is nothing short of awesome, Ex.

I think I spy a bonanza in one of those photos.

Good luck Ex. Hard work and good fortune have paid their dividends for you and it's inspiring to know there are people like you and yours that do not trivialize that opportunity. Whether this leads to that next vocation or not, it will certainly be an interesting life experience.

Yay! This'll totally be easier than having to sneak my friend out of the mental hospital every time I need a pilot!

Way to go Ex, they say do what you love and you will never have to work a day in your life. Look, It's a Bird, It's a Plane, No It's Super-Exnihil!

That sounds awesome, Ex. Have tons of fun and don't forget to keep your ears protected - flying in those things is NOISY!

So, Ex... whatever happened with that whole "I'm going to be a helicopter pilot" thing?


Well - cheekiness aside - as a lot of folks here who are also FB friends might have seen over the past couple months... it's coming along quite nicely.

It has astounded me how steep the learning curve has been on something which - just a few months back - I had never even attempted. That's not to say there haven't been huge challenges, but - like anything else - just keeping at it eventually helps one break through.


The first phase of my instruction was three-fold, focused on: learning the basics of the aeronautics and airmanship; mastering the controls of the helicopter; and gaining control of hovering. Of these, the first two were... I don't want to say easy, necessarily... but, easier, I suppose... than hovering.

There are three main controls to the helicopter I fly: the collective (which, basically, controls altitude), the cyclic (which changes the individual pitch of the rotor blades, controlling the direction you are going, as well as - to a large extent - your speed) and the pedals (which control your heading). My earlier practice on getting the hang of these was done at a higher altitude - working on flying straight and level, executing turns, accelerating and decelerating, and changing altitude. As I say - once you get the hang of it, this part is fairly easy, a bit like first learning to drive a car.

The much harder bit was hovering, because you have to execute all of these controls at once - only a few feet off the ground - and hold the whole thing still. I think I may have mentioned before that (as part of quitting smoking a year back) I had started doing yoga. This may be a weird comparison (and I'm probably the only person ever to make it) but - learning to hover reminded me as nothing so much as trying to sit atop a yoga ball... basically you have remain very calm and maintain your balance in every direction.

And... eventually... I got it! My instructor said it would take about 15 to 20 hours of flight time before it clicked, but around about 13 I really started to feel it breaking through. Now - while I still have occasional goofy moments - it's really come together. I am doing my own pickups, take offs, straight and level flights over long distances, landings, and... hovering like a champ.


The next main goal is my first solo flight (I still have to learn radio and emergency procedures). If all goes well, I'm hoping to solo by tax time. We'll see.


The one bummer in talking about all this, is that it's not a very photogenic type thing. My buddy was down last weekend hoping to get some cool shots, but it's all sort of meh (click if you want 'em bigger)...








But I ain't flying to look purty anyways!

( sob... secretly I am )

Very impressive!

I should be in your neck of the woods in early May; I'd love a ride, if you are so allowed (by then)!

Is it fun?

That's a really interesting question, BB - especially considering the fact that I eventually intend on doing this for a career. Is it something that I will enjoy doing?


Well... yes... but I wouldn't say that's it's fun in the same way as like, say, a roller-coaster is fun. Like it's not, "Wheee... I'm flying!" It's more a combination of both relaxation and exhilaration at the same time.

There is definitely a "zen" thing going on, as the controls are so sensitive that you pretty much just need to think what you want to do and the slight movement that naturally occurs as a result makes that change happen. But, at the same time, I would be lying if I didn't say that - at least at the beginner level I'm at - it takes a lot of focus to achieve that. On the days where it's nothing but hover practice, I've definitely worked up a sweat by trying to be too intensely in control.

So, yeah... it's a bit paradoxical. Up at higher altitudes, sort of cruising, it's more chill and you get a bit of time to just marvel at things... while in a tight hover at ground level you are doing so many things at once that - upon refection later on - you feel a real sense of accomplishment.

I wouldn't really call it fun, but I do love doing it. I think, in this activity, I've found my "bliss".

Stick with it. You obviously love it.

I'm guessing that Kid Psycho Copters is a bad name for a future company?

If you love doing it, no reason why you shouldn't continue!

Looking at those pics, I somehow want to call you Quislet.

Poop a doop, buddy!

It's neat when someone finds something they find interesting, that doesn't involve chasing me with a gun or something.

I don't think I'd be good at it. Controls sound too sensitive. I can't even handle the game controller without over compensating, no matter how much I try. I'd be like Clooney in "Gravity" and