Post-Its you'd leave on the LW Mission Monitor Board

Pov - you left gum stuck to the bottom of the chair again. I'm not going on monitor duty after you anymore.

- Cobie

Cobie- Your pompoms are back from the cleaners, but they had a delay with the outfit-- they'd never seen stains like that before!

Rocky- No, you can't watch Animal Planet while you're on duty. I don't care if your cousin's going to be on the bird show-- record it.

- your LMBP Leader

Cali,

Please don't turn the thermostat up so high. Remember, some of us are from cold climates.

Thanks!
Rocky

Yup--still dead!

-Lardy

Will the last LW'er off monitor duty put Lardlad's corpse in the freezer? He's starting to smell a little.

~The Management

Ohmygod! Miss Cali, where can I get one of those like ultra-faboo "Leader Lady Style" jackets???

EDG

EDG - Get off the computer right now and clean up your room.

Brit- I got it at the Gay Green Giant's fashion botique. =)

Sonnie, remember to buy milk!

We're out of pie.

CJ - I had to throw it out after somebody decided to...er...take it on a date.

- Cobie

People-

Do NOT date the pie.

Hungry man

Stuck to CJ's note:)

That's what the cake is for!

Harbi-
come around more often! we miss ya!

Quote

Originally posted by Kent Shakespeare:
Harbi-
come around more often! we miss ya!

signed~ All of us!

P.S.- bring Sonnie by if you get the chance!

Cobie,

Your statue has been destroyed.

Quislet, Esq.

PS: Don't throw out this note. We will need to use it again.

To whoever broke Cobie's <strike>bidet</strike> statue... bring a mop...

~LW Custodial

Cali,

Why is there a towel draped over your roomcam? Just wondering...

~<strike>Perv</strike>--uh, POV!

Pov,

The cleaners called. They lost your pants again.

Quis-

please stop terribly threatening us.

-anonymous

I ate all the funyuns.

To whoever taped over my Pluto Beach holo-- I will find you.

-- your very annoyed neighborhood leader

Stop eating all the funyuns!

Gone to get more funyuns-back in bit

Why are there funyun crumbs in the keyboard?

What's a funyun?

set the monitor for FUNYUNS [Linked Image]

Oh...that's......nice. I think I recall now that Lard Lad liked those...a little too much.

<Note: I know what Funyuns are, but I'm in-character here--you know, naive former robot guy. Just to clarify!

>

Hey! When you take the last Kono juice out of the dispenser- FILL IT BACK UP!

Memo:

Debaucherous members of the LMB are reminded that their guests must be accompanied at all times while they are in the HQ.

Working is difficult when tripping over passed out Cheerleaders and Fratboys. We also have a credible threat that our enemies are recruiting evil leftist Bolshevik apprentices at Legion World Universities. Your guests may in fact be infiltrators.

Remember, though your pants are down keep your guard up.

Hey, who ate my sandwich!

Your Deputy Leader

Get Milk!

Yellow Kid- Got Milk

rtv2- was it bologna?

Tamper Lad- What pants?

Supper's in the fridge. Heat 20 minutes at 350.

Schedule a 5,000 parsec oil change in the Legion Cruiser.

We have a Legion Cruiser?

Why wasn't I told about it?

Lad Boy-

hide your notes better. Quis isn't supposed to know about the cruiser.

You're Stupid! All of YOU! Stupid!

Quis,

"Won't you let me take you on a/

Space cruise?"

What's this I here about bologna?

-<strike>Cobie</strike> Ram Boy

Pov- where is my towel?

--Cali

Clive,

Please be careful. Some of the vases at the Rookery didn't come from IKEA.

Thanks!

Rocky

Cali-

I sent it down to the laundry room. Sorry if I shrunk it...

~

Cobie,

The bookstore kalled. Yore dictionary is still on backe ordah. Hang in their.

Cali-

Actor Lad called; he wants... um... either you're to ring him back, or give the ring back... I couldn't quite hear him right. He was slurring his words, and all the loud and drunk women in the background made it hard to hear him right.

Kent -

Whatever you do, don't let Cali know where we took Actor!

- Cobie & Pov

Boys of the LMBP- Bring my husband back or I'm calling Thora.

-- Your Very Annoyed LMBP Leader

(written in Pov's handwriting)

Dear Wife,

I have er.. have er.. gone to help some poor orphan childrens who don't have any parents. Yeah! Yeah! That's where I've gone.

Actor Lad

Quote

Originally posted by Quislet, Esq.:
ordah.

He even -types- with a Bostonian accent...

Gone to New York City. Please refer all problems to...ah, who cares.

Later kids!

To whom it may concern, please don't eat/smoke/drink Matango Mushrooms! There are many unpleasant side-effects. Colbalt, Kent, and Quis are now being put in strict quarentene for observation and so they can receive the help they need.

rtvu2-

New York called. They're gonna be LA all this week and have to reschedule -RB

Would somebody please finish the Hallowe'en candy?

Who's ready for some Christmas shopping?

Pov-

Good job on the Actor Lad imprersonation of four posts ago. It looked so real, even I thought it was real before I got your PM.

Count Vudoo -

Remember, should Cali be assassinted you'd be the top man. Something else else to consider!

- The Terrible Threateners

Lad Boy-

I think Quis is still really PO'd about the cruiser bit. See the note Cobie found.

Ha ha, fooled you, there is no Legion Cruiser.

BTW -- Someone left the transmatter gate open all night.

Wanted to make sure my booty call was gone before I woke up this morning-- I left the TMG on for her, sorry...

Would whoever left the Legion Cruiser in the SHAKES parking lot please retrieve same?

Abin

Would whoever left Inflatable Lass in the Transmitter Gate please choose a destination?

Abin

Abin- Send her back to Lardie's closet for me, thanks.

~Signed,

NOT Pov...

There's a pair of of freshly washed, dried, and folded size XXXXXXL pineapple boxers on top of the dryer.

Everybody,

Pov's delusional again. He thought he had a booty call the other night.

Pov -- I think maybe your bookie called.

Lad Boy- stop leaving your harness laying around. You know how Pov gets...

-- your (slightly disturbed) LMBP leader

Caliente,

Your sugar daddy needs some sugar. About a cup and a half for the cake I'm making.

Notice To Everyone:

Please wipe off the Miracle Machine when you're done with it!

Thanks in advance,
Staff

Rocky - call Opus.

Quote

Originally posted by Lad Boy:
There's a pair of of freshly washed, dried, and folded size XXXXXXL pineapple boxers on top of the dryer.

OOH! If nobody claims them, I call dibs!

~Plus-sized Pov

All-

Computo's going through Pon Farr again, so make sure your disk drives and USB ports are covered.

Please lower the desk chair at the end of your shift.

CJ,

Please raise the desk chair at the end of your shift.

Quis,

Please stop Terribly Threatening people. The neighbors are starting to complain.

Kent,

We have neighbors?

Quis

Quis & Kent -

I invited the neighbors to dinner. 7 p.m.

FC

FC,

They had better enjoy it or else!

Quis- That was a terrible threat.

-- Cali

I left <strike>2</strike> a bottle<strike>s</strike> of wine<strike>s</strike> on the counter for the dinner party.

hic.

Who's been in my Funyuns?

To the owner of the Funyuns, we gave them to the neighbors.

ATTN: cretinous male

ha! Made you look!

Thora - I borrowed your black cashmere turtleneck.

Hey -- somebody left this really tiny, black, fuzzy sweater in the super clothes dryer of space.

Looks like it was supposed to have been dry cleaned.

The "Alert" light is flickering on and off again.

CJ,

Ignore it. That's what the rest of us do.

If you ever want to see Ram Boy again leave ONE million Canadian dollars in a brown paper bag outside the Super Porta-Potty...of SPACE! And you best better be quick about it too!

Yours truly and we mean business,

<strike>Ram B</strike>...The Kidnappers

P.S. You really should buy some larger Post-Its

Shopping List

Large Post-its
Wine
Black Sweater
Funyuns

Quote

Originally posted by Fat Cramer:
Shopping List

Large Post-its
Wine
Black Sweater
Funyuns

brown paper bags

Quote

Originally posted by Lad Boy:

Quote

Originally posted by Fat Cramer:
[b]Shopping List

Large Post-its
Wine
Black Sweater
Funyuns

brown paper bags[/b]

An air freshener for the Super Porta-Potty...of SPACE!

-The Kidnappers

If the Kidnappers don't return Ram Boy, can I have his room?

Thanks!
TTL

TTL-

Use Miner's in the meantime.
He won't mind. Really.

-Quis

LW --

If the kidnappers don't return Ram Boy by lunchtime I've got dibs on his <strike> porn</strike> Elizabethan literature collection.

LB

Lad Boy,

I've read Ram Boy's collection of Elizabethan literature (since he's been kidnapped). It goes on and on about heat and pressure. Nothing about bodices or codpieces.

Kent Shakespeare

To Whomever Snuck into my Quarters and Replaced all of my Underpants with Women's Lingerie,

Thanks, it's actually very comfortable!

Set

Set,

Was that your room?

Post its kill trees

Post-its® don't kill trees; people who use Post-its® kill trees.

From now on, please write on the erasable plastic board.

SALE SALE SALE
ULTRA DEALS!
COLOSSAL SAVINGS!

1 Ram Boy

Was <strike>$1,000,000.00</strike>

This weekend only* Ram Boy can be yours for ONLY $100.00!!!
AND we‘ll throw in TWO bags of deliciously oniony Funyuns!

ONLY $100.00 !?! THAT’S INSANE!

ACT NOW! Supplies are limited so DON'T MISS OUT!

- The (More Bang for your Buck!) Kidnappers

P.S. We STILL mean business**

*Sale ends at midnight Sunday November 11th. All sales final.
**(CRAZY SAVINGS BUSINESS!!!)

Gang,

I picked up some recycled Post-its® at the Super Office Depot of Space. Please recycle them when you're finished.

Thanks!

Could someone please help me move my stuff into Ram Boy's room? It should only take 37 minutes and 43 seconds.

Thanks,
TTL

<strike>Pov - you left gum stuck to the bottom of the chair again. I'm not going on monitor duty after you anymore.</strike>

Where do we keep the paper towels?

Quote

Originally posted by Kid Napper:
SALE SALE SALE
ULTRA DEALS!
COLOSSAL SAVINGS!

1 Ram Boy

Was <strike>$1,000,000.00</strike>

This weekend only* Ram Boy can be yours for ONLY $100.00!!!
AND well throw in TWO bags of deliciously oniony Funyuns!

ONLY $100.00 !?! THATS INSANE!

ACT NOW! Supplies are limited so DON'T MISS OUT!

- The (More Bang for your Buck!) Kidnappers

P.S. We STILL mean business**

*Sale ends at midnight Sunday November 11th. All sales final.
**(CRAZY SAVINGS BUSINESS!!!)

If you throw in a comfy chair, you've got a deal.

Kent,

Hold on. In a bit, they'll be wanting to pay us to take Ram Boy back.

Quis,

I doubt they could meet my standards for a comfy chair, anyway.

Who taped over my video with America's Next Top Model?

Anyway thanks.

Time Teller Lad - Please synchronize all our clocks.

I'm back Legion World!

Just a few questions,

- Why did they give me a $200.00 cashier's check made out to Quis?
- Where are all my <strike>porn</strike>...natural art magazines?
- And why is my room filled with clocks?

Welcome back Ram Boy. Monday is your day to do the dishes.

All-

Who drank all my Silverale!?

The culprit had better replace it by 8 p.m. EST if you know what's good for you. I've never used Bureau of External Affairs (TM) personnel to investigate any LWer (well, almost never), and you DON'T want me to start now!

-K

Found

One <strike>barrel </strike> bottle of Silverale left lying around in a locked room

Owners contact Cobalt Kid for return

Hic!

[img]http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2300/2001972344_d83987c1cb.jpg?v=0[/img]

Don't forget the Sharpies to write the messages either. The click kind!

Ram Boy --

It's over between us. I'm leaving!

LB

(back in 30 minutes, we can start up again then.)

("accidentally" spils whiteout over the partenthetical postscript)

(oh darn, some incredibly drunk or otherwise incapacitated Legionworlder who should never be allowed to possess office supplies spilled white-out on my post it. Fortunately it was in Braille, so the discoloration will have no effect on Ram Boy's ability to get the message.)

All --

The locksmith will be at 1:00 to put new locks on the liquor locker and the medicine cabinet.

LB

LB-

Please reconsider. The French rugby team meant NOTHING to me. I was thinking of the Italian swim team the whole time.

-RB

Ram Boy-- On behalf of the LMBP, we're glad you've been returned to us.

-- Your LMBP Leader

P.S. It's your turn to pick up the beer and chips. Good thing you got back in time, huh?

Ram Boy:

Don't forget the dip either.

I burned all the previous post-its.

FC,

Someone from the EPA (Environmental Protection Agency) called asking for you.

Ram Boy,

I've moved all my stuff out of your room and put all your stuff back. Could you please explain to me the purpose of the items in Box 41B?

Thanks!
TTL

If the EPA calls again, tell them I'm out planting trees.

Ram Boy-- Still waiting on those beer and chips. And dip. (Thanks, Co-Leader Man!) Oh, and still glad you're back.

-- LMBP Leader Lady

Madame Leader-

chips - Funyuns OK?
beer - Lite?
dip - Onion? French Onion? French Canadian Onion? French Canadian Separatist Onion?

BTW - Glad to be back

TTL - Did you also find Box 41B-1? It's smaller and has a bunch of batteries inside.

LW --

There's a small box of depleted batteries on the sofa table. Please take them to Sears or Radio Shack to be disposed of properly.

LB

Did anyone get Harbi's milk?

Ram Boy-- Not Funyuns, real chips! Lays or tortilla or something. Lite Beer is fine with me, I'm watching my bodatious figure. Use your best judgment on the dip. And pick up some milk too, please.

-- Your Leader (Drunk with Power...)

Whoever bought the dill pickle yogurt that's gone all slimy in the fridge, please throw it out. Or eat it. Your choice.

Ugh! Wish I threw it out! Hope I don't ralf again at Rocky's place!

-Clive

Clive,

Sffenyskus has left a mop and bucket in your room at the Rookery. He said you'll know what it's for.

Rocky

Remember tomorrow is "bring your Young Sentient Life-form to Work" Day!

All,

Please dispose of used post-it notes properly. (i.e. by making Paper Mache Farm Animals out of them.)

Note to Pov: The Paper Mache Farm Animals go in Cobie's room, not the refrigerator or hanging from the ceiling fan.

All,

When looking at explicit sites on the Board, which you should NOT be doing but are good at getting away with anyway, please remember to close the windows and mute the sound before answering calls for help from planetary leaders, ambassadors, space nuns or minors.

Tissues are recommended as a courtesy for those in the next shift.

Ibby-

Welcome back! We've missed you!

Out of TP. Cobie its your turn.

rtvu2,

Why don't we just get more TP rather than using Cobie?

Pardon--I'm new to being human--but: "explicit sites"? "tissue"?

Am I missing something?

-Clive

I have a few tickets to the Colonel's Annual Holiday Orphan Benefit Dinner Pageant and Ball left.

There are single and couple's tickets as well as one entire table.

Also, since my original date has been added to the injured roster (guys are so fragile) I need a date for the event. So if you look good in a tux and aren't afraid of getting hurt during the dance call me.

Veronica

Veronica, if you're still looking for a date, I'm available.

-C.

Ronnie,

I'll take the full table. Let's see. There's Tim, Hyvvie, Old Dutch, Sffenyskus, Adelie (if she's back by then), me, of course. Clive seems to be taken care of. Hey, how many are at a table anyway? I write really small. That's how I can fit all this on one little Post-It. Anyhoo, let me know about the table.

Thanks,
Rocky

Gang-

CHiPs-n-dip are here! And it wasn't easy talking Erik Estrada and Larry Wilcox into slathering themselves with guacamole just to come over (Well, to be honest, it wasn't all that hard, either). Oh, and they kind of drank all the beer (and a couple bottles of Scotch) on the way here...sorry.

-Ram (did I get my first mission right? huh-huh did I?) Boy

RB

Our previously scheduled discussion of Diff'rent Strokes and the Facts of Life is postponed.

LB

Where the magnifying glass? I need to read Rockhopper Lad's post-it message.

Ronnie-- Me and Actor Lad are there.

Ah, marital bliss.

-- Cali

Whoever drank my Gatorade-- I hate you. When I find you, I will make you pay.

-- Your (very hungover) LMBP Leader

Shopping List:

Rainbow post-its
Gatorade
Tylenol
TP
Magnifying glass

Ronnie - the Colonel's Annual Holiday Orphan Benefit Dinner Pageant and Ball would make a great Holiday Thread on the MMB! I'd suggest starting it and letting chaos ensue.

<strike>Cobie</strike> - Invisible Brainiac

Anyone want some leftover turkey cassarole?

All --

I have removed all turkey-part shaped things from the refrigerator.

The EPA hazmat squad will be here shortly to properly dispose of them.

L'Boy

LB-

That was turkey? I thought that was cotton candy! No wonder it needed so much high fructose corn syrup to taste better.

I think I'm going to call in sick for a few days...

LW-ers --

Please sign the get-well soon card for Kent.

L'Boy

Lad Boy,

I don't think Kent will appreciate the scantily clad male model posing as a doctor card as much as you think he would.

Someone left the hot plate running again...

F.Y.I.-- Future's back! (I don't actually know Future but I think it's a big deal...)

-- your friendly neighborhood LMBP Leader

Does that mean we can take down all the "I miss Future" post-its?

Ceremonial supper to night for Future & friends - 8 pm

what time zone?

All of them.

that only leaves me 6 minutes to get ready!

You are already late in some time zones.

Kent,

Can I borrow that get-well card for a while?

Thanks!

Rocky

Quislet's birthday - surprise party at 11 pm. Scantily clad doctor will jump out of cake.

appt w/dr @ 11:15

All - please remember we can see you in the shower, so don't 'do that'.

- phantom zone criminals

PZC-- What makes you think that's not part of your punishment?

-- <strike>Pov</strike> Cobalt Kid, Chief of the Security Office... for life

Attention Legion World leadership:

It has come to our attention that you are subjecting prisoners to cruel and unusual punishment. Please cease and desist, or we will have to take action.

-Dark Oval Region Human Rights NGO, Inc.

Legion Worlders (i.e. Ram Boy)--

Please return the cat 'o nine tails, handcuffs, gag and blindfold to my locker.

There will be no questions asked (unneeded because the video surveillance from the security office.)

Ohmygod!

Whichever one of you pervs has been using the survielance system to peep the LWHS Cheerleader's Shower Room, has a big surprise coming.

It'll be a real blast next time you tune in...

Brit & My

Brit,

Is the surveillance systems still ok to use to look into the Men Locker room?

LW -

After seeing surveillance footage of the Men's Locker room I suggest we rename it Lad Boy's Love Lair

- Ram Boy

Abin-

could you mop up the men's locker room floor? It seems a bit sticky lately.

a dozen eggs
cinnamon pop tarts
2% milk - 1 gallon
heavy cream - 1 qt
Ginger ale
handcuffs (2)
leather chaps

Kent,

I'm going shopping with Lad Boy. Could you cover monitor duty for me?

Folks,

Who ate the icing I was going to put on the cake I just baked? That was good icing too!

Rocky the Baker

Sentients--

You only have one day left to vote! Don't forget your civic duty.

-- The Election Tyrant

Who has monitor duty? Is it my turn again?

We need more Post-it pads. Sketch Lad has been using them to make little flip-it cartoons.

Hint: the chocolate eggs are hidden behind the dictionary on the top shelf.

To whoever "borrowed" all my green and white jelly beans, I WILL find out who you are, and you WILL be sorry. - <strike>Ram</strike> Miffed Off Boy

Quislet, Esq. -

Please stop your rampant lemur abuse, or else we'll be forced to inflict bodily harm upon your person. Thanks!

-NSPL (National Society for the Protection of Lemurs)

Will whoever let the NSPL in please stop doing so. They keep turning on the sprinklers, trying to turn this place into a rain forest.

Shopping list:

Umbrella
Mop
Green & white jellybeans
Ferns

Attn all.

If you find a thing that you can't identify curled up in one of your boots or hidden under your pillow, it might be mine.

Also, it might be sentient. Do not feed it chocolate, under any circumstances.

Found: One small unidentifiable creature. Seems to like chocolate. Oh my God!! Djkleoi $^#&$&*(#bovpcpa nm^&#$I789as dkfdkk...... (the rest in indecipherable)

Was Teronna dictating or did she take the time to write out her strangled cry?

PS. Abin there are some blood stains on the floor of the monitor room. Although you've probably realized that while reading this note.

Fat Cramer, can you add Band-Aids to the shopping list? The jumbo-sized ones, thanks.

And has anyone seen my dictator? Little Mussolini the dictating bot is lost! Five earth-dollars and whatever else is in my pockets at the moment to whoever finds him!

Whoever stuck the Dictating Bot and the small unidentifiable creature in Cobie's Kewl Kids Klub Kloset please retrieve same and find some way of keeping their cyborg offspring from eating my cleaning supplies!

PS Cramey, please add jumbo size post-it notes, brillo pads, and Extra-Super-Duper Strength Mr Clean... of Space, to the shopping list.

Careful of the Cake thread... it's acheived sentence.

CJ-

Make sure Homer Lad is informed of this immediately!
RJ Burns is quite concerned about him of late.

Legion World -

My Cars cover band Sounds Like The Cars will be performing later in the social hall. Tickets are cheap and plentiful. BYOEverything

-Ram (Ric Ocasek Lad) Boy

What's a "car?"

Legion World-

After rehearsing we have decided to rename ourselves Sounds Like Devo Being Hit By A Car. Tickets are free and plentiful. BYODictionary

Ram (New Wave Boy) Boy

Everyone-

Cobalt Kid has been infected with the sandiegus excitimus virus. Please help him... by catching the bug yourselves!

Anybody miss me?

Wow! Icy! Welcome back!

Thanks Its really been awhile hasn't it?

Ohmygod! Wow! It's really him! Like Mr Icyflirtyfire himself in the cyber-flesh!

So do we like flirt now or what?

Party in the rec room for Icefire's return.

don't forget the silverale!

Oh wow I like parties!

And parties like you! Everybody's invited!

Hey Cramer how are you doing its been a really long time hasn't it?

Call maid service to clean up after party. Janitor still dancing.

Legion Worlders,

Please start posting Post-Its again.

Thanks,
Rocky

Could somebody abridge all fourteen pages and stick the summary to my locker on their way out ?

Oh, and thanks for stocking the vending machine with vanilla soy milk. You all are the greatest.

Cheers.

cleome

Reminder to self: Pick up postage and a large envelope in case I want to sen LSH #50 back.

Also, Peanut Butter. Non tainted kind.

Brainy 5 and Brainy 5.1, when school is over, please remember to let Brainy reboot out of the locker. Thanks,

Principal Levitz.

Cobie,

Missed you in NYC ...

SL

Shark Lad,

Please report to the gym for target practice so you won't miss so much in the future.

Lad Boy,

Will you marry me?

Rockerhopper Lad,

- If LB says yes, will you be my best man?
- If LB says no, will you marry me?

Ram Boy

Ram Boy,

If they both say no, I have a big box of chocolates for consolation.

FC

Ram Boy,

Who proposes on a frickin' Post-It?!?!?

Yeesh!

-Lard

Attention, LMB:

I'm gonna' kick a rear end or two when I find out who took my chocolates. I was saving those, you grabby [remainder of message blacked out] !

-- cleome

In another vibrational plain, this post-it is pink.

Who used all the post-its?

dedman,

Have you checked that cabinet right over the paper-cutter ? I try to keep it stocked, but...

-- cleome

When are we going to get some more of those chocolates again? They were delicious!

Lardy,

Good question! Answer - Not Me!

LB/Rocky,

Retracting my proposal(s). Sorry.

-Ram Boy

Cramer,

Do you still have that box of chocolates at the ready?

Thanks,
Rocky

Shady,

How you doin?

S.L.

Shark Lad,

Would you please remember to dry off before handling the Post-Its? They get all warped and lose their adhesion.

Thanks again,
Ex

Rocky -

There's half a box of chocolates on my desk. Help yourself. Just don't tell Cleome.

FC

Please inform the staff if there is anything special you need for this year's Klordny Day celebration.
-YK

I'm sleeping it off in the basement, since I have to meet up with that Erin character in four hours over some damn SciPol thing. My ring is switched off for a reason. Please take any monitor-related issues to FC for the duration. She owes me.

Thanks.

-- cleome

Who peed in the pool?

Was it you, Gilly?

Attention Matter Smoker Lad:

Please refrain from using the Miracle Machine to wish for more Doritos.

Thank you - YK

Matter Smoker Lad

Don't listen to YK. I was at the beach that day and it was SWEET. Here's a picture of me and the family. [Linked Image]

Next time, wish for dip too.

Legionnaires -
All cellular phone and omnicoms registered in the 3boot universe are now inactive. Rollover minutes may be applied to <strike>new</strike> <strike>old</strike> reactivated accounts in the JohnsVerse for a small fee.

Please direct applications/comments/rants/blame to Dan Didio, Paul Levitz or Mark Waid.

Please make sure you close the hangar doors all the way upon both departure and arrival, People. Heating fuel isn't exactly cheap right now, and Spring isn't exactly around the corner, either.

Thanks.

-- cleome

Sorry Cleome. Matter Smoker Lad forgot the guacamole dip and I used my Walking Ring to hurry back to get it. I guess I forgot to lock the door the second time.
My bad.

Seriously..someone clean up this huge mess of post its i'm writing on top of. I'd do it but I found some dip and am now in search of chips.

Who's been responding to the memory enhancement spam?

Oh wait, that was me.

Could everyone chip in so we can take Clive to the Hoothcie Hut, the poor guy needs it

Cleome,

Felt bad about everyone eating your chocolates.

Left a new box in your panty drawer.

Happy (and kind of creepy) Valentines Day!

Dedman-
Excellent suggestion. If Superman can have a Happy Ending so can Clive.

Ram Boy,

I've been going commando every day of my tenure here. I dunno' whose drawers you were leaving festive gifts in, but they sure as blazes weren't mine.

It's okay, though. It's the thought that counts.

-- cleome

Deds & YK,

Psst! Hootchie Hut ain't gonna do it for Clive--it ain't his scene (if ya know what I mean

).

--Lardster

Lardy -

Couldn't we bring him on Ladies night?

All of you -

Watch your back

shenu, come up with a new shtick... the vague threat one is old!

Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Who designates someone an Arch Villain anyway?)

Someone called for Amanda Hold.

Does anyone know where I can find Amanda Hold?

Quis, someone named Anita Hug called for you...

Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(But he forgot to leave his number...)

Ok, who shot Cobalt Kid?
-we may save some time by eliminating who doesn't have a motive first-

well...i haven't slept with him so that exonerates me right!

Would whoever posted the odds on "Who Shot CK" please take my name off of the list...

Those weren't my bunny slippers under his bed...

Shopping List:

Chocolates (organic, free trade)
Bullet-proof vest (just in case)
Bunny slippers, size 8

Quis-
Amanda Hoggenkiss called. Staying with Jenny. 867-5309 after 5pm. RSVP.

Exnihil

Dan Didio called ... something about meeting him in a dark alley ...

S.L.

LMB:

While I was on duty last night, this lovely bouquet from one "Wanda Foolaround" was delivered to the front desk by that hunky UPS dude. Alas, some cappuccino spilled on the card and envelope while he was, er, greeting Lad Boy, made determining the intended recipient impossible. Thus I have left them here for all of my friends and colleagues to enjoy. Please don't ruin the true spirit of love and sharing by eating them or stuffing them down the front of your pants.

XOXO

-- cleome

Lost:
One size 149 bunny slipper - the left one

Who is Justin Thyme? IMPORTANT

Sir Roy,

Been wondering the same thing, only about this guy ? Could there be a connection ?

-- cleome

Someone needs to buy more cheese -- the pantry's empty.

Be Back Later - Have gone out for some cheese.

Q, Esq.

<post-it falls off monitor, revealing old one>

"Who is the Traveler?! K.S., any ideas?" - C.K.

(good lord!)

(I really need ot call in my top officers from the Bureau of External Affairs (tm) on this one!)

(leaves new note:)

All-
I'm going to be off visiting the League of Non-Aligned Worlds for a few days. Whatever happens do NOT let Gary Concord, Clive or anyone else who might compromise security know this.
-Kent

Hey guys -

the electrical bill is due on the 23rd. Would everyone please put 5 credits in the cookie jar on top of the fridge?

FC

Gone fishing ...

S.L.

All LW'ers are responsible for laundering their own linens.

I have to draw the line somewhere.

Custodially Yours,
~AQ

Fat Cramer -

Cookie jar full of cookies

- 4 Chocolate Chip
- <strike>7</strike> 5 Peanut Butter
- 6 Oatmeal raisin
- 36 Low Fat Colon Cleaning Bran Bars

Does anyone mind me switching out the low fat colon cleaning bran bars with chocolate covered mint cookies?

Legion Worlders,

I'm worried about your chocolaty, minty colons.
Also, who "borrowed" my Horny Helmet?

- RB

Attention, LMB:

But what about Ernie Colon ?

"Are the Traveler and Justin Thyme one and the same?" - Jailbait Lass

Today:

Pay electrical bill
Feed colon cleansing bars to birds
Bake cookies
Invite Justin and Ernie to supper (fish?)
Google "horny helmet"

need more post-its!

Running errands related to LMB elections. Washer-dryer repair should be here no later than 11 AM. Please show tech to the laundry room, following proper I.D. verification.

Thanks.

-- cleome

If the washer repairman is Sven, plase direct him to my room.

Quis

To: Anybody who accidentally looks at the monitor board during their shift.

From: Everyday Girl, Acting Chief of Security

Subj: Gary Concord, I want to know where he is and who he's been seen with, and I want to know now!!

Girl Scout Cookie Lass has your orders in, folks. Remember President Allon's historic adage that even cookies qualify as health food so long as you don't scarf down the whole damn box at once.

Oh, and I restocked the milk and milk substitutes. Please remember to use coasters on the coffee table.

Have a great week.

-- cleome

Has anyone seen my Boa Constrictor? I need to find her before her babies are born. If you see her, just scream.

Has anyone seen my new puppy? I need to find her before the Boa Constrictor does.

Found - 1 large snake with a big lump in it's middle. Very moody, likes pickles.

Found - 1 adorable puppy w/scratched up dog tag that says:

F T CRAM 'S UPPY

IF FO ND ALL AT C AMER

For Sale, Matching Snakeskin Boots, Belt, and Watchband, Expensive... but Worth It!

K.S., the Traveler = Justin Thyme. Tell you how I know later, but it confirms your theories. - C.K.

Who's the joker that put all these eggs in my fuzzy pink house shoe?

ATTENTION ERIC VIOLETTE FANS!
[Linked Image]

The Eric Violette Fan Club will be meeting in the rec room at 3:00 pm today. Please wear your I Love Eric Violette T-Shirts and bring your Eric Violette violet Trapper Keepers.

Todays discussion: If Eric Violette were to join Legion World should his username be "Super Dreamy Boy" or "Shrinking Eric Violette". Be advised that a heated debate is expected, so please remain civil.

- Ram Boy,
President of the Eric Violette Fan Club (Legion World Chapter)

Attn;
Anyone showing up for the meeting of the Eric Violette Fan Club who has no idea who he is and just wanted to chat up Ram Boy will get the spanking that they so richly deserve.

Poseurs be warned!

Cobie-

Cancelling our 3:00 p.m. "Good spellers make good leaders" lecture, gonna go chat up R.B. at some Eric-somebody something.
--Lad

Attention:

The spankings will continue until morale ceases to improve.

-- cleome

AAARRRGGGHHH!!!

DIE YOU BASTICH THREAD!!!

DIE! DIE! DIE!

THE stack of brand new post-it-notes left in easy reach HAS REACTIVATED THE AUTO-Post-it-Note FEATURE OF ABIN'S COMPUTER!

ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES! ONLY ABIN'S AUTO-Post-It-Notes ARE REAL AUTO-Post-It-Notes!

paid for by the committee to cover the Monitor Board with post it notes!
oops,wrong thread!

Phone computer tech to come look at Abin's computer

Abin-
The milk went bad. Don't drink it or you may get sick and act all goofy.

The doughnuts in the breakroom are for everybody. Just don't be greedy.

Everyone: Please flush! You know who you are. A little Lysol wouldn't hurt either.

Ohmygod! Ewwww... There's like green mung growing on some donuts in the breakroom and the bathroom smells like a hippo died in there...

I am like not following Pov on the duty roster any more...

EDG-

Those are not donuts. Those are the Palmusian ambassadors. The filth and stench of the breakroom best emulates their native methane marshland homeworld, so we placed them there instead of the VIP suites. Please do not disturb them; we need Palmusian support to keep the Dark Square in check.

YOU + ME ========> Charity ball

I seem to have lost my date for the charity ball. I saw him sobbing like a baby with disappointment, don't end up like him and call if you wanna go with me.

I also have several pairs of tickets available. Unfortunately one of them is with the Palmusian delegation.

OMG-
the bathroom!

"Nuke it from orbit, it's the only way to be sure."
- Corporal Hicks

Folks,

Again with the Palmusian jokes ? I guess it's time for another Diversity Seminar. [see posted schedule] Lunch will not be provided.

-- cleome

*checks Diversity Seminar schedule*

Who wants to go to lunch with me around 1ish?

Who wants to go lunch with me so I can get out of lunch with Quis?

Steph-
I know a great little place that specializes in tomato dishes, so Quis won't want to be within a mile of it.

MLLASH-please stop using all the Post-its for your drawings.

Kent- It's a date!

Quis-- I can't make it the day of diversity training, I'll be sick

Who posted the new list of Palmusian jokes in the conference room?

The Diversity Seminar Facilitators want the web address so they can download their own copy...

Quis ...

Please see me re: a minor legal matter ... I'll be in my tank ...

S.L.

Who replaced the main com's duckling 'n kitten cartoon screensaver with that '08 Xmas party pic of Shark and Quank in their matching tanks (the black silk ones) ?

People, I appreciate "art" as much as the next decrepit old woman who never goes out, but c'mon. You have your own computers for that sort of thing.

Tsk.

-- cleome

The Break Room refrigerator will be fumigated on Wednesday.

Take anything you want saved out by midnite Tuesday.

The Initial Radiation Bombardment begins promptly at 1 am Wed.

The laundry chute is not to be used as a slide.

Ohmygod! Mr Quizzy-Poo is an old fuddy-duddy!

"Like slip-slidin' away..."

EDG- Quis is just kidding. Everyone uses it as a slide... even him.

Ohmygod! Like so what? He's still an old Fuddy-Duddy! <marquee behavior=alternate>Click Here For A Spoiler

</marquee>

"Like slip-slidin' away..."

Everyday Girl, Just a reminder that this month is your turn to clean the bathrooms. Lardy's really needs a cleaning.

Ohmygod! That Stinks!

Gramps is the like janitor... Not ME!

Where's that Rassa-Frassin' Gas Mask?

Call Pablo the pool guy ...

Sharklad, You can find Pablo in my room. The poor dear didn't have a place to stay

Yes, I cleaned the BBQ grill. No, the buildup did NOT "add to the food's flavor." Bleeping whiners.

-- cleome

Quis,

When you're done with Pablo, please send him and his hose down to the pool ...

it needs to be vacuumed ...

S.L.

Everyone!

I am missing my husband. If you see him, please send him to me A-Sap. I am in need of a foot massage.

-- Cali

Whoever keeps doing it-

Licking Post-its doesn't make them stick, just smell funny.

So please STOP!

Poverty Lad, please erase the browser history when you are done...even the titles of those websites are offensive!

Thanks! XOXO

Lolita

The dumbwaiter is not a substitute for the laundry chute. Please deposit your laundry in the chute or in the hamper outside the second floor bathroom.

Pick up apology card for Mrs. Kintner

Look, you get one SSI number, and that's it, People. I don't care how many alternate identities you have. I'm not covering up for you with the staff accountants, and that's final.

Yeesh.

--cleome

Found:
A heart, in San Francisco.

Please don't respond to those Time Shares of Space. We then get tons of spam.

Eryk Davis Ester, the copy of Brent Wood's memoirs of Tommy Tomorrow from the 22nd Century you requested is now at the library!

- Mary Hatch

All Earth-based LMB'ers-
Remember tax day is April 15th.

All Mars-based LMB'ers-
Remember your tax days is Greebnot 11th.

All LMB tax-evaders:

A special Tesseract door will open at noon, Wednesdays, for the month of April.

Good Afternoon.

H&R Block has been robo-calling the front desk and leaving the message "We will bury you" once an hour for six days running now. (Their Muzak is particularly bad, too.)

If anyone knows anything about this, please see me immediately;Or contact the Security Office at your earliest convenience.

Sincere Thanks.

-- cleome

Pov-

Cut out the fake H&R Block robocalls. You are NOT going to succeed in tricking anyone into sending you a check.

Jo: if you kidnapp Tom Izzo one more time to coach your moopsball team I will confiscate your keys to the time bubble.

Brainy

Quote

Originally posted by Quislet, Esq.:
Please don't respond to those Time Shares of Space. We then get tons of spam.

But it said I was recommended by a good friend!

Don't squeeze the Charmin ... or I'll bite you...

S.L.

Our investments were just downgraded to "Charmin Squares".

Apparently the people we loaned money to build those timeshares can't sell them. I'm gonna call Quislet's to start foreclosure. We now own a luxury resort on the outskirts of Ventura.

Hello,

How come the karaoke machine in the lounge only has the selection "Just Squeeze Me" available ? Did somebody accidentally recycle the ASCAP invoice ? Again ?

-- cleome

Note: The clowns who thought TPing the Lounge was funny must be found...

The Palmusian Ambassadors also thought it was funny and want a repeat performance!

Abin-

I think that was Bumwad Boy. He's been on quite a spell of mischief lately. RJ Whipple caught him squeezing the Charmin just the other day.

I know this is the LMBP but I don't want to meet anybody named "Bumwad" Boy...

No good can come from someone named "Bumwad" Boy.

Hey Abin,

Where did all your posts go?

S.L.

A guy from PETA dropped by and said there was a report of animal cruelty here. Please give Belinda a salmon steak tonight.

That's it! Who keeps drinking all my kono juice?? Replace it or I will find you... with burnt results.

-- an enraged and fiery Caliente

Rockhopper Appreciation Dinner tonight at 8 p.m. Drinks in the library at 7:15. Black tie, please.

Fat Cramer,

Very clever, but you can't fool me. I'm pretty sure that Rocky's "appreciation dinner" is actually an "appreciation sting operation" and, since I owe the library approximately one gazillion dollars (for borrowing and then losing the Judy Bloom novel Flubber when I was about twelve), I will NOT be attending. Nice try, though.

(Hey, if they're serving those little apricot tarts could someone "borrow" me a couple dozen)

Would whomever (Ram Boy...) used the last Super Jumbo Post-It Note... of Space, please run to the supply locker and get another pack?

Ram Boy,

According to your account records, you returned that Judy Blume novel only one day late. You can leave your dime at the desk.

See you at the party.

Judy Blume wrote "Flubber"?!?!? I thought she only wrote soft-core porn for teens?!?!

-Lardy

The standard gratuity for the bartenders, servers and bus-folk at large catered events IS 15% of the total bill.

The standard gratuity for those who've waited on you people before IS 25%-- should you wish to ever enjoy those fantastic apricot desserts and the little roasted garlic and fresh basil crostinis ever again.

I'm doing you a favor. You never want to piss off the people who prepare your food. Either pay your admission fee in advance or stay upstairs.

-- cleome

Um, I think you're all thinking of Blubber, not Flubber...

-- (still mildly miffed but also amused) Caliente

Anyone who sees Ram Boy, tell him that The Library is the Legion World library, not the one that charges fines.

The movie Flubber will be screened at midnight in The Library.

FC,

Cool! I just happen to have ALL the dialog to Flubber memorized (I read the book!)! My favorite part is when they release Flubber back into the ocean!

Would the person who turn off the Door-to-door Solicitor Pulverization Ray please turn it back on.

I'm tired of the too many gas contract vendors and religious missionaries ringing the door.

Ok, who ate all 9 Delicious Flavors from 9 Different Planets Ice Cream? AND THEN put the empty container back in the freezer??

Who moved my cheese?

-Rody

The Super-Exterminator... of Space! Will be here at 0600 sharp!

There's a terrified, acrophobic Abin cowering on the roof. Who teleported him up there without his power ring?

I moved the cheese to create an overly simplistic object lesson about change management that my class can understand.

Who dripped gravy and cornbread all over the keyboard? Ewww!

Quote

Originally posted by Rody the Super-Rat:
There's a terrified, acrophobic Abin cowering on the roof. Who teleported him up there without his power ring?

Rody-

since the elevator is broken, just point him towards the metal rung ladder that leads down the side of the tower. Just tell him not to look down as he descends.

Kent-

Looks like Abin's stuck. Someone or something with tiny, super-strong teeth has gnawed through the supports of the metal rung ladder, rendering it unusable. In fact, the bite pattern appears to be the same as that found on the broken elevator cable.

Very odd.

Bull-

Gee, that's too bad. I guess he could use the fire hose as a rope and try to descend... but that'll only get him 1/3 of the way down. Still, that should be far enough to attract some attention from emergency services. He may just have to dangle there a while till they notice him.

All,

Luckily Abin is married to Legion World's most powerful Sorceress...

I'm just sayin'...

It's the 31st century and we're the all-powerful Legion of Message-Board Posters. Isn't there a better way to communicate with each other than by using Post-Its stuck on the Mission Monitor Board?

Dear Super-Rat,

"Progress" is a harsh master/mistress. Believe me, once you jump into that particular fondue pot, there's nowhere else to go but deep into the fuel below.

Regards from one who's been there,

deputy cleome

Someone please check the mail.
I'm expecting the spring issue of The Legion World Swimsuit Special any day now.
I'd hate to miss it.
-Thanks-

YK-

that was yours? Sorry. I lent it to Outdoor Miner after I'd perused it.

Good luck finding him.

Rody--

If we didn't use post-its, we wouldn't be able to have all these cute, colorful notes left for each other! It's not about progress, it's about communicating in a fun way.

Jeez, always questioning things. Don't you have a wheel to run on or something??

-- Fandengo'd Caliente

Anyone interested in forming a Barbershop Quartet?

- Raging "Baritone" Bull

RB-

No.

RB-

We just need two more.

-Rockhopper Tenor

Signups for the hockey team will be closed next Tuesday. Positions still open.

<strike>Quarteters</strike> Duettists -

Please stop <strike>quarteting</strike> dueting after 11:00 pm. Also, no, "she ain't sweet", and I have no idea how much the "doggie" costs!

People,

The kitchen staff works long hours for not much money. You don't help things along by playing hockey with the blinis while others are trying to enjoy their weekend brunch. Try to be a tad more courteous in the future. Or consider taking your athletic endeavors over to the gym.

Thank You.

-- cleome

Blame Lard Lad. I told him to leave those donuts alone.

Thanks for signing up, Mr. Rockhopper.

I'm a bit surprised there haven't been more takers. Don't y'all know about the resurgence of barbershop quartets in the late 30th century, and how incredibly popular they are in the 31st? Why, my last quartet had so many lust-crazy groupies of both genders that we had to go incognito for a while.

Anyhow, if y'all hear someone singing "Down by the Old Mill Stream" in the briefing room, that'll be me practicin'.

Meeting Tonight!

Subject: Barbershop Quartets! Are they Undermining the peace and stability but mostly the peace of Legion World?

- Absolutely NO harmonizing will be allowed in the meeting hall!

- Bring donuts!

- But NOT crullers!

Singers-

please make sure any donuts you bring really are donuts.

One of the Palmusian ambassadors seems to be missing, so please do not eat him by mistake.

Quote

Originally posted by Abin Quank:
All,

Luckily Abin is married to Legion World's most powerful Sorceress...

I'm just sayin'...

Abin, meet me outside the authentic British pub

Ceej, you cuddly little devil, stop by the 85th floor corner office... Pagan Lass wants to meet you in person.

Please sweep up the donut crumbs. They are attracting Tulvanian Witch Ants, who also enjoy eating wallboard.

(written on the Mission Monitor Board itself)

We're out of Post-Its.

Dude, there's a whole gross of brand-new orange Post-It's right in the supply cupboard. Or there was. Oh, wait. Rodents. Orange-colored squares. Never mind.

I'll be at Office Despot for an hour, if anyone's looking for me.

-- cleome

It must have been Cheddar-Eater Rat. That guy can (and will) eat anything.

Quote

Originally posted by cleome:
I'll be at Office Despot for an hour, if anyone's looking for me.

Beware the Office Despot. He's a tyrannical micro-manager who only lets you have one five-minute coffee break a day.

cleome -

The next time you go to the Office Despot's office for an "hour", could you please ask him to rethink firing UPS Guy? I really enjoy it when he delivers.

- RB

Ram Boy,

Since the last wave of layoffs, the only guy they ever send over is that Dwight Schrute lookalike who never bathes. Sorry.

-- cleome

Hockey Team pep rally today in the Gym. The LMB Cheer Squad will show off their new jams highlighted with a saxaphone performance by Principal Peter of the LMB Academy!!

B=there>B=square

All, Notes are to be left on the whiteboard areas between the holo-screens, NOT on the holo-screens themselves!

It's called monitor duty for a reason people...

Step lightly, Folks.

Yellow Submarine Lad is in one of those moods again.

-- cleome

Kent,

You invited the Palmusians, you clean up after them...

AQ

Shopping List:

Mops
Bleach
Fireworks

The next lazy florger who stores fireworks and propane in the designated smokers area is going to be in big trouble. Do the math, People. Life is too short to spend bereft of eyebrows and/or fingertips.

Laziness kills. Carry it all the way from the loading dock to its proper place, or don't carry it at all.

Sincerely,

cleome

In case nobody noticed our fearless Deputy Leader is in one of her moods again...

Be vewy vewy quiet, she's hunting lazy wascaly wabbits!

I'm going to the 9 Planets ice cream shop after dinner. Anyone coming with?

Does anybody know what that eerie green flickering glow on the third floor is all about?

Just askin..

LW -

Just finished redecorating the 3rd floor!

Used Glidden's Green Zombie Mist as a paint color, and replaced all the old bulbs with more energy efficient Flick-n-Glo Flouresents!

The result, though far from the Hollywood Regency look I was aiming for, is still breathtaking!

Wednesday's Ice Cream Special at 9P
- Bismollian Hash.

Don't think I can make it today TL.

I'm tired. Make your own breakfasts.

Tamper Lad,
Someone left the freezer open. You <strike> now have </strike> had a milkshake with the 9 Planets ice cream you brought home. Had to <strike> drink </strike> toss it.
AFOB

Cobie,

The hospital called, and apologized for accidentally removing your spelling gland.

Leader Man Lardy...

Nothing, I repeat Nothing in the LMB Constitution says you can just make a big mess in here and walk off...

Nothing!

Cleome,

Thanks for the catnip, my cats are loving it!

dedman,

Are you sure that was catnip? I mean, I was gonna' make everyone Mojitos today at quitting time.

Ah, well. Daquiris will have to do, I guess.

-- cleome

LW! I have just completed a course on Micro-Posting. I've been told that it's currently all the rage in Tokyo and will soon sweep the rest of the world because it allows you to convey complex messages and/or instructions without the hassle of using multiple Post-Its to do so. That not only saves money but it's also good for the environment! After all, the fewer trees we have have to cut down in order to make Post-Its means the more trees we'll all have to look at, climb and hide behind. Good news for Mother Earth, but not so good news for the Post-It Company, I'm afraid. Oh, well.

OK. So, I'm done with my announcement and just look at how much space I have left on this Post-It>

There's a enough room there to write an epic poem, I tell ya.

Ram Boy,

If you were headed for Imsk anyway, the least you could have done was pick up another snow globe for the display case in the hall. Nobody's bought any new ones in over a year, and the JLUMB is in danger of overtaking our record.

-- cleome

Will somebody please dust the snow globe display case. I did it last year.

To: Whomever has been hiding the large denomonation credit notes under the snow-globes,

Thanks for the Tip!

Ohmygod! Gramps, would you like quit killing all the fun threads?

Please?

LWers,

With summer almost over, and beaches soon to be closed, my tank is available to all ... as soon as I clean out some random body parts ...

SL

Annataz-

Sknaht rof a nuf gnineve. Epoh ew nac od ti niaga emitemos.

To Whoever requested "half a dozen fishnets" from Supply:

Please specify whether you want the kind meant for recreational purposes or the kind meant for [wink wink nudge nudge] "recreational" purposes.

I am happy to help with requisitions, but I'm not a mind-reader. Just as well, given the proclivities of the average LMBer.

Thanks.

-- cleome

<Places note in the middle of the screen>

LOOK HERE!

Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(What mission are we monitoring today?)

Shopping List:

Glasses
Snorkel
Shark Tank cleaner
Fair Trade Mars Bars

- on the verge of cracking K.Shakespeare's wily code. Fairly certain it's a combo of ancient Babylonian and Hoppachook Indian.

All:

FISHNETS ARE BANNED!

:SL

Fishnet-banning protest march to be held at noon sharp tomorrow assembling at LMBP Plaza.

Fishing nets will be available at the pool.

Oh, fishnets. Nevermind.

Turns out that fish heads aren't laughing and happy after all, nor do they float in the soup-- at least not for very long.

I just thought that you all should know. Also, the pool is closed until further notice or until Sharky gets back from vacation, whichever comes first.

Thanks.

-- cleome

Shuttle ship to Picnic Asteroid leaves at 2 p.m.

Picnic Canceled -

Ginormous Radioactive Ants!!!

Next on itinerary - Polka Lessons!

Quote

Originally posted by LardLad:
Fishnet-banning protest march to be held at noon sharp tomorrow assembling at LMBP Plaza.

What are we banning that require us to wear fishnets when protesting?

The 7th Annual Precognitives Association Meeting (and Naltorian Bake Sale and Fundraiser) scheduled for next Thursday was a great success. Thanks to everyone who will attend.

We just got a call from the Bordello District. Business is way down since the the Fish-net ban.

The LW Harlots Association, is inviting the Regulators and Law-Makers to their facility for some lobbying.

Well, I guess someone's gotta listen to constituent concerns. I'll handle this one, gang.

Kent:

Before heading out to the Bordello District, stop by the infirmary for a penicillin shot ...

:SL

DalKrahs-

I tsom ylgnorts tcejbo ot eht nab no stenhsif.

-Annataz

Congratulations Stoopid,

Due to your exemplary payment record, First Interplanetary Bank is extending you this offer for a limited time.

Until Jan 30, 3010, transfer your high interest rate balances to your FIB OmniCard and enjoy the low interest rate of 0.9% (APR) for the promotional period lasting through September 30, 3010. Or use these handy access cheques to pay for your vacation, home improvements, new sailboat or the generally growing gap between your income and spending.

Who took my male enhamcement "medication"?

Quislet, Esq.

When did Lard Lad take up logrolling?

"Nobody puts Swayze in a Coroner"-Joeboy

Everyone,

This fall season's thigh high boots are oh so attractive, but only WHEN SOMEONE IS WEARING THEM! Please do not leave them in the hallway for others to trip on. Please inform your guests as well.

Good Afternoon, LMB.

Leaf-Eater Lass wanted me to remind you all: when placing your leaves on the curbside for removal, paper bags only! You may request the regulation bags from the front desk at no charge. Please be considerate and place extraneous items such as empty Funyun bags, tree branches, and Furball's... er, leavings in the designated green bin.

Thanks. Have a great week.

-- cleome

NB: put EDE's lead leaves in separate, specially marked bags at the back door.

Pulling on somebody's nose/beard/other appendage to "see if that's a mask/costume or their real face/form/whatever" is bad manners at any time of year;this one included.

Keep that in mind, please. And don't drink Abin's party punch on an empty stomach, either. Learn from my mistakes, won't you?

Happy Halloween.

-- cleome

LWers-

Has anyone seen my chum?

-SL

I've got the wishbone from the Thanksgiving turkey. If anyone wants to pull it with me, let me know.

Two tickets to a local production of "Cobie and the Amazing Ceej-Hair Dreamcoat," free to the first LWer who responds.

Attention, LMB:

I don't care how nice the package is. It's still fruitcake and I'm still not touching it, much less eating it. Get off my back!

Oh, and anyone piping in those Chipmunks Xmas carols after repeated warnings is just asking to be summarily executed. Or at least kneecapped with a bronze elf statuette. Don't try to claim later on that you didn't know.

Yours for a safe and happy holiday season.

-- cleome

The LSV pre-school is out for holidays. Please remember to fly above bottle rocket range.

Why are our Post-Its either blue?

Or gray?

Who ordered the snow?

S.L.

To my Secret Santa-

Thanks for the gift certificate to the Nine Planets Ice Cream Shop. It's clear that a good deal of thought, planning, and expense went into this. Truly, your gift giving prowess is - er - out of this world.

Christmas dinner at 1 p.m.

Formal costume encouraged, but not required. There will be a separate table for children and alts.

My apologies to all for my behavior at Christmas dinner.

I thought she was food.

S.L.

There's a baby at the door holding a scythe.

Cobie's?

Shopping list

milk
eggs
floss
remora spray

To: Whomever laced my condoms with tobasco sauce....

Great idea!!!

Love,
Lardi

Dear LMB members,

If you haven't gotten your 3009 W-2 statment yet, it's likely because our files have an invalid mailing address. Personnel Pete can assist you with updates, but please have them in before 2/15/10.

Remember that this applies only if you are a citizen and/or full-time U.P. resident with a working visa. LMB members who are citizens and/or working residents of non-affiliated worlds should be sure to contact their home revenue services directly for assistance.

Thanks.

-- cleome

Legion World Tea Party 5 p.m. today. Meet at The Shameless Hussies.

Gotta go. Game on

To the 6th reader of this note.

You are a winner!
Report to the storage tesseract on level 3 for your prize

The last of the Groundhog stew will be served at lunch.

Punxsutawney Pov saw his shadow -- six more weeks of off-color jokes.

Quote

Originally posted by Raging Bull:
Punxsutawney Pov saw his shadow -- six more weeks of off-color jokes.

I thought his deal was six more weeks of pantslessness?

Did anyone see a Nigerian Prince?

I was supposed to meet him at noon with my banking details.

To the Person who knows what I am talking about;

Good news, the doctor says a simple shot will clear that right up.

Meet me you-know-where for the you-know-what.

Quote

Originally posted by Set:
To the Person who knows what I am talking about;

Good news, the doctor says a simple shot will clear that right up.

Meet me you-know-where for the you-know-what.

<whew>

For a minute there, I thought I had the Super Chlamydia...of Space!

Quis,

Ralph and Joan called. They want their cookbook back.

-Rocky

Wanted: Some chowder...but only if it's from east of the Connecticut!

The Connecticut? Or just a Connecticut?

Personally, I rather like Western Connecticut Chowder.

Ragey,

I think Lardy meant the river, not the state.

Hugs,
Rocky

I lost my earring in the Jello pool.

If anyone finds it please return it.

-dedman

Found: one earring in the Jello pool.

(Note: I may have kinda sorta worn it on my navel for a spell.)

-Lard

Found: dignity.

If anyone has recently lost his or her dignity posting on the MMB, please contact me to claim it.

Anyone want to make a trip to Summerworld.

I'm getting sick of winter.

Mojito part at my place at midnight--Be there!

Gravity seems to be fluctuating.

Someone contact maintenance

Mr. A. Einstein called. He should be by to fix the gravity relatively soon.

Gravity: a weighty issue.

A Mr. Newton dropped by to look at the gravity. I'm not sure what the apples were for.

Gravity Party Tonight, 8 p.m. at the Pool

If anyone has the time, there is an invasion to repel.

FC RE Gravity party

is that at the regular pool or the Jello pool?

Quis - invasion repelled! But we may need some fertility doctors. Oops!

Gang,

Who ever would have believed that an invasion could be repelled with Jell-O, a mojito, fluctuating gravity, apples and an earring!

Grocery List:

Jell-O
Mojito Ingredients
Apples

For the next time Plan XKQ-38 needs to be implemented.

Would you people stop cluttering the Mission Monitor Board with Post-Its?!?
--Lightning Lad

Gadget list:

New, bigger MMB to make room for more post-its!

Invasion Party at the swimming pool, 8 p.m.

Jello delivery truck expected early afternoon.

Need more Jello!

As Exnihil has reminded me of probable forthcoming elections, a general reminder:

All political lawn signs, bumper stickers, and drive-by holo-banners from all concluded campaigns should be removed in a timely fashion from any areas to which the general public has access.

Fourteen working days after the conclusion of a campaign is the standard time allowed. Then LMB staff will remove any that still remain. All removal costs are the collective responsibility of dues-paying LMB members.

So remember, conscientious behavior mutually benefits us all.

Sincere Thanks.

-- cleome

Note from the food hall:

Manhattan Clam Chowder available tonight as the "Blue Plate Special." Homemade. Mom's Recipe. Please don't hate.

-- cleome

Oops...Jello is the "Blue Plate Special"

followed by chowder diving in the pool.

Add to shopping list:

Cool Whip

Lots and lots of Cool Whip

Also:

Chocolate Cool Whip

...and more Mojitos!

[Incomprehensible Scribble]

Gang,

I received a note from a Ms. S. Tucker thanking me for the support and that she is now able to sell the Tucker Inn and retire in style. Does anyone know what this means?

And, oh yeah, we need more Cool Whip again.

All,

I'm expecting a delivery soon. I've ordered custom-made purple robes. No reason.

Rocky

The thing that was in the refrigerator marked 'don't eat this!' appears to have been removed. If it was eaten, please contact poison control immediately...

Lardi,

Don't forget to put everything back in the fridge once the defrosting cycle is complete. It's all secured in Kent's gym locker, since he's never around anymore. I left the combination on a slip of paper under your home office mouse pad.

Thanks.

-- cleome

Would the person who removed 10 cases of cool whip from my personal refrigerator, please come see me immediately . . . for discipline! Bring the cuffs and shackles, too.

Wanted: cuffs and shackles.

--Lardy

Dear LMB,

Bind your mind, and the rest will follow.

-- cleome

Bondage class, midnight tonight.

LW -

Due to the recent (and appalling) upswing in dirty dirty kinkiness, I've invited the Good Rev. Upstandingson to speak in the swinger's lounge. Hopefully he'll be able to remind you that your souls are, in fact, perishable.

Praise be!

Gang,

There's some guy who calls himself Upstandingson who is doing unspeakable things with Cool Whip. I think I found out what happened to Lad Boy's stash.

-R.

Lad Boy -

New delivery of Cool Whip, you can pick it up at the loading dock.

Lads/Lasses,

Next week is marshmallow fluff week.

-L

L - might want to restock, I needed some lube.

- Cobie

ALERT

Farmer bob is missing several sheep.
Anyone with any information should contact him.

CK-

Needja to re-magnetize my nipples, ASAP!

-L

LMBers - Orgy has broken out in the red light district spilling into the streets. Could use some back-up. I'm exhausted!

- Cobie

LMBfolk,

Please put the empty Cool Whip containers in the recycling bin, unless you're going to wash them to use for storing leftovers.

Thank you.

Chocolate fondue at noon. Dress appropriately. No double dipping.

Dear LMB,

Dry-cleaning bills for chocolate stains accrued on garments while at HQ or otherwise in the line of duty are not considered tax deductable expenses.

Sorry.

-- cleome

Check out the holovid "couples retreat"
For a rom-com its not bad.

Encouragement!

LMBP,

Has anyone seen Furball's chew toy?

Dev,

I think Pov got a hold of it, and it ain't pretty...

-L

POV,

I think Furball has your pants...sorry about that, but you may want to invest in a new pair.

-Dev

Dev-

Pov HAS pants?!?!

-L

LMBP,

Gone to take Furball to the vet...not sure what he was chewing on at this point.

-Dev

Found:

Fourteen pairs of pants. All appear to be some kind of crushed velvet, some with decoration on the flares/cuffs. Please describe in detail to claim.

-- cleome

Attention:

Gates is in the lobby looking for his lost pants

-D

Everyone-

PANTS FIGHT!

6 p.m.

Sharp.

-L

Query:

Has anyone ever seen Gates and Outdoor Miner together?

Why is my room full of catfood?

I own Page 1 of Mission Monitor Board, and you don't.

And yet...I feel so empty inside.

Found: One rubber Dick Cheney mask. Lightly used.

Please claim at the front desk. Quickly. It's giving our delivery people the jitters.

-- cleome

Note to janitorial--

Dispose of Dick Cheney mask. Wearing it makes you want to shoot someone in the face!

-L

Tickle Fight at noon - the usual place.

Dear LMB,

After what happened this time last year, I shouldn't need to remind you, but:

THERE IS TO BE ABSOLUTELY NO THROWING OF YOUR EMPTIES OFF THE ROOF! And, yes, that includes empty kegs, too!

I am counting the hours until I can turn my Deputy badge over to some other <strike>poor sucker</strike> concerned citizen, lemme' tell you...

Lad Boy,

I may be late. I need to buy a new feather-duster.

-Rocky

Gladys the Sentient Disco Ball,

If you're going to snort cocaine, at least hoover it all up, don't leave any residue on the table.

Happy St. Paddie's Day LW!!

Gladys the Sentient Disco Ball,

I don't know who "Sexy Rexy" is, but please stop emailing him from the Security Office, I keep getting copied into them all because of your continual references to "whipped cream explosions".

- Security Chief, Cobalt Kid

Ohmygod, Like Gladys... :rolleyes:

Don't talk to me about love!

LMB:

All the leftover Easter candy has been placed in the lounge. Try not to overdo it like last year, okay?

<attached to Cleome's note>

LMB - also, remember cadbury eggs aren't sex toys. Okay?

LW-

Anoyone looking for Furball, he had to be taken to the sick bay because he thought the chocolate bunny was into him.

Dev

Legion World -

Please, consider donating all your unwanted Easter chicks, bunnies and lambs to the 1st Annual Legion World Easter Chick, Bunny and Lamb Cook-Off .

Winners of the cook off will receive a some expenses paid vacation to the beautiful Galapagos Islands!

Re: Cook-Off,

RB, Can we cook the Galapagos, too?

-L

Anyone seen Blockade Boy around? His refund check arrived today.

-- cleome

Good Morning, LMB.

Yes, Fat Cramer has sent our most valuable masterwork out for routine cleaning and reframing. Please don't panic. It should be fully restored and returned to its proper place over the bar no later than 7/5/10.

Thank You, and enjoy your long weekend.

-- cleome

Human poker games continue, 9 p.m., in the Common Room.

fireworks in my room!

dress light!

bring snacks!

The clean-up from RB's "Fireworks Nite" is done... a copy of the bill is in the mail envelope.

hey! who ate all my jalepeno chocolate ice cream!?

Shopping list:

Bicarbonate of Soda
Cat food
Flip-flops (no glitter or rhinestones, thanks)
Waterproof sunblock

There will be a state dinner for the Ambassador from Planet Marvel tonight at 8 p.m. Please dress silly.

Please don't squeeze the Charma

To Whom It May Concern,

Whoever subscribed to Fr'd-Rac's Boob Window Of The Month Club, please email me to claim your Fall 3010 Catalog, as the sticker on the back was damaged when Furball collected yesterday's mail.

I took the liberty of adding a plain brown wrapper. [cough]

Thanks.

-- cleome

The thing that is supposed to be in the place designated specifically for that sort of thing, is not in that place. Please remember to wash it thoroughly, and return it when you're done. We don't have enough for everybody, and we have to learn to share.

-Set

The incident last night wasn't me, it was one of my clones. Really. He's been punished.

-Set

Sign up sheet for the Trans Planetary Labor Day Potluck has now been posted. Don't forget to include what dish or beverage you plan on bringing.

And, no, I won't be wearing my Mao T-Shirt again. Tamper Lad throwing beer bottles at my head once a century is enough, thanks.

Thanks!

-- cleome

To Whom It May Concern:

Those weren't candies. Those were Chanukkah candLes that my Mom sent me.

Enjoy your heartburn and waxy gumline. Also, you owe me twelve bucks.

--cleome

P.S. - Those things in the dish on the coffee table that look like coins? They're not. Don't try using them to do your laundry.

... Don't forget to fill the Brita before you leave.

Shopping list:

Britta filters
Coffee
(more) Foil-wrapped chocolate coins
Snow shovel
Solar-powered thermal socks (w/nul-grav option, if available)
"Funny" Pet Holiday-themed costumes (jingle bells, felt antlers)

BEWARE! 

Only 20 days left until Christmas!

Board up your windows and plug your chimney holes TODAY!

To all concerned, the Computo Construct IS NOT A TOY!!!! Stop drawing faces on his globe and sticking lewd notes on his back.

Please stop asking Tellus if the bubbles on his monitor symbol are farts.

Gentleman, radioactive underwear is not an effective birth control method.

Please delete any adult videos you've downloaded after watching them.

And don't forget to wipe the stains off the keyboard.

Help! I'm lost!

Anyone who finds that post-it with the secret to clean, renewable energy on it, please return ASAP.

-thnx

QUIT

WASTING

POST

ITS!

Turn this over and write on the other side.

Do NOT give this yellow postit note to any Green Lantern!

New RULE!

Pink Post-Its are for girlish posts ONLY!

Quote

Originally posted by Ram Boy:
New RULE!

Pink Post-Its are for girlish posts ONLY!

Or Rokk or Jan posts.

Post-it if you're horny!

Shopping List:

aspirin
antacid
vacuum cleaner bags
<strike>Yoga "love" Mat</strike>
new bird feeder
plantains
cocoa
little marshmallows
crepe pan

Quote

Originally posted by cleome:
Shopping List:

aspirin
antacid
vacuum cleaner bags
<strike>Yoga "love" Mat</strike>
new bird feeder
plantains
cocoa
little marshmallows
crepe pan

Don't forget more Nair, clee!

-CT

Has anyone seen the cancellite lately?

Someone needs to change Beast Boy's litter box...

[snip]

Quote

Originally posted by Chief Lardy:

Quote

Originally posted by cleome:
[b]Shopping List:

Don't forget more Nair, clee!

-CT [/b]

In the dead of Winter?! Are you INSANE?!

"Okay, whoever ate my Tuna Raspberry Sorbet with Chocolate Mint sauce and white cheddar cheese with pickels...I hope you get shingles on your dangles! So there!"

*No, I am NOT a mean drunk.

" Please excuse the colourfulness of some of the post-it note writers on here".

"Please not that the implicit purpose of a post-it note is to state your message in as clear and succinct a manner as possible in order to convey your message in such a way as for your intent to be of the utmost clarity and immediacy to whomsoever said message is intended."

Stick it.

Pov, if I see you with my bra on your head again, I'm totally kicking your ass. Diplomacy be damned!

Shopping list addendum:

Cool Whip
Cool Whip
Cool Whip
Rutabagas

Attention:

That hair left in the drain this morning wasn't mine. It was rickshaw1's.

Showering is so bourgeois anyway.

-- cleome

Note to Drake Burroughs:

"Better slap another band-aid on your space suit bud, you're leaking anti-matter again."

Shady -- Check your 5 o'clock shadow.

Gim quit shaving while in Colossal mode.

"Get your hair out of my face" - any Legionnaire to an attacking Spider Girl.

Panel discussion in auditorium at 3 p.m.: "Cottage cheese: Cinderella of Dairy Products?"

This discussion is sponsored by Ding-Dong Dell Dairy...Of Space!

Rocky:

Lactose Intolerant Lad and Vegan Valerie would like a word with you in your office. 11 AM sharp.

Thanks.

-- cleome

Cnsrvng vwls cnsrvs Pst-ts, ppl!

oei ooa oee oe, u i' a eaae.

hh?

Rammy,

Vanna White Lass will be arriving with a new shipment of vowels shortly.

Takron-Galtos Sorbet order for 36 tons needs to be filled A.S.A.P Validus seems to love the stuff.

Chief please spray when leaving the restroom......

Honk if you love Thora

Honk if you love caca

Honk if you're hoary

5 ergloks to anyone who can decipher my last post-it.

Colossal Boy, I think you left the toilet seat down when you went #1 in the dark again!

Benefit showing of Battlefield: Earth will be held tonight in the LMB lounge at 9PM PST. Admission is one credit! All proceeds go to benefit Ram Boy's Lechonan Hut in the aftermath of Graft Girl's... abrupt disappearance with the cash register.

Hip waders and earplugs available for a modest extra half-credit each.

Come one! Come all!

After reading this Post-It, you must send SEVEN Post-Its to people you really want to annoy or SCARE!

"All paid-for vacations on Titan are hereby cancelled. We are sorry for any inconvenience this may cause. We are also sorry to report that no refunds are available either at this time" - The Saturn Queen Luxury Spaceliner Group.

Anybody know which 'boot we're in?

The LSV just showed up .... where IS everybody.

Dear LMB,

Sorry that your W2s for 3010 had to be mailed out printed on cheap brown paper towels.

This prolonged budget shortfall has been hard on everyone. However, as compensation we've fashioned the mailing envelope out of pounded-down rice hulls. It's fully compostable, or delicious when crumbled over your favorite bean dish.

Best wishes for a prosperous 3011!

-- cleome

Sorry we missed the alert, these post-its were covering the Monitor screen!

If there's anyone who can construct a magic fortune teller using a Post-It, contact me.

Is this the real life, or is it just <strike>fantasy</strike> another one of Jeckie's illusions?

Manboob fight at Lardy's--9 sharp!

BYOB Bring your on Bros....

GLEE-watchin' tonight. Gates' room.

The Entertainment Committee will be meeting tonight at 9 p.m. in the pool. Flippers optional.

Buy more Post-Its.

Can anyone explain string theory to me?

Cyrano De Space Bergerac....stay away from my silveralecaine.

If anyone has seen my minions, please tell them to come home.

Return my bobby pins now!

Tell Dawnstar to put some clothes on!

or not ...

[audio message]

Hello, Cobie?

The delivery gal showed up today with your case of --shudder-- green bagels. I sent them back. Next time, don't order C.O.D.

Oh, and enjoy the rest of your holiday. [smooch]

[/audio message]

I like my tuna salad sandwiches on hoagie rolls. Thx. XXOO, FL

Whose idea was it to put super-villains in the same prison?

Quote

Originally posted by Emily Sivana:
Whose idea was it to put super-villains in the same prison?

Why that idea would come from none other than .... THREAD HIJACKER!!!!!

"Brin, you have a brazilian wax at ten pm.

Your mother called.

She said your father got mud on the carpet again

Martinis on the verandah.

3 p.m.

Rocky

Remember:

Rinse AND repeat!

Not just rinse and forget about it!

Quote

Originally posted by Emily Sivana:
Can anyone explain string theory to me?

String theory is one major approach to quantum gravity, the attempt to develop an understanding of gravity compatible with quantum mechanics (unlike general relativity, which generates paradoxical results when combined with non-classical mechanics). The basic idea is that space has more than the three commonly perceived dimensions, the other dimensions being two small for us to perceive as they looped well below the threshold of human percep...

Shopping List

Post-It Notes Large enough to explain String Theory without running out of room.

*looks at legioncruiser on A Cold and Lonely Place asteroid and writes...

*Nawp, nawp, I ain't cleanin up this mess.

"Please remember to close the gate after visiting Takron Galtos, thank you."

*Attention LWMBers*. The Annual Legion World Cleansing is scheduled for April 8 from 9:00 pm to 9:01pm. Please gather all non essential and party threads, (Yes, we are still finding stuff from the 08 Happy 50th Legion party. We are still looking for the owner of one Multi-Color Transuit. Contact me for info.) Thank you.

Rocky,

Bought more olives. Kent will be back later with more vermouth, unless he runs into that group of Science Bobbies again.

cleome

All,

Just built a pool at super speed on the verandah. cannonball!

PB

Donald F.Glut fans ASSEMBLE!

Remember to recalibrate the zeta beam.

remember to walk Brin after feeding him.

All-

Sprock!.... Sprock!.....Sprock!.... Sprock!..... Sprock!

-the Super David Mamet of Space

Word of the day:

DISPERSIVE adj

not in a persive manner
unpersively
NO PERSE!

To whoever stole my silk underwear from the laundry room where I left it hung up to dry overnight,

I was testing out a new brand of fabric softener that has itching powder mixed in. Enjoy your afternoon, Degenerate(s).

Seriously...Future King does not have ants in his pants. (See Post-It above.)

Oh so that sensation is itching powder !! Oh thank, I thought the rash was back again. He he!

FK,

The calamine lotion is in the medicine cabinet.

LW,

Exercise your right to VOTE!

Otherwise it will get SOFT & CHUBBY!

Order more post-its

" Is Monel a favourite to win on this one as well?"

Anyone seen Invisible Kid?

Did anyone get a hold of Phantom Girl yet?

Why are Durlans hogging the gym? Surely they have better ways to get in shape.

Quote

Originally posted by Kent Shakespeare:
Why are Durlans hogging the gym? Surely they have better ways to get in shape.

Bravo! Bravo!!!

No one puts Lash or Quiz in a corner!

MMBrs Prepare To Drop Trou!

We buttbomb the Photobucket censor at dawn!

Going out to pick up a yellow power ring. Do we need any milk?

Dear Ms. Sivana,

Yes. Get the gallon size this time. Also more kippers.

Thanks.

Belinda

I finally passed it!

Lost Eveee. Please return to Mr.Oak for a No-Prize.

Mon 7:35 pm

Ghost Gal called.

says "boo"

The source of the knocking sound coming from airlock C has been identified.

Do not open airlock C.

Dear LMB,

Only 30 days left to buy Canada Day gifts for your loved ones, eh?

-- cleome

Dear LMB,

<blink>HINT!</blink>

The brooms used in Canada's favorite sport, Frozen Bowling Alley Ice Sweeping, would make an excellent Canada Day gift for me, Ram Boy, since I use them as focal pieces in my unique Canadian inspired floral arrangements.

Attention;

The 112th annual End of the World party has been cancelled, on account that the world might actually end.

LMBers,

I'd like to find out what happens next in the "Beware the Octopi" tag team on Bits. Please post in it.

Thanks!

Dear LMB,

I fear I have been rebooted again, and my T-Shirt say "#1".

Power Boy (I think)

To Whom It May Concern:

If Pb has been rebooted, does that mean we will all be rebooted? And, if so, does that mean we'll all be younger?

If so, I have a request. Make me 25 again so I can at least keep my "seniority" in your new universe. Thanks.

eggs
milk
cheese
Legion #1

Hey!
If we don't own boots, what happens? Do we get reshod?

If Power Boy gets rebooted, can I have his room?

Colossal Boy is requesting LARGER Post-Its.

Preferably blue.

Quote

Originally posted by SharkLad:
eggs
milk
cheese
Legion #1

aspirin (the big bottle, please)
stopwatch (to time the lifespan of several key titles)

Call Joe the pool guy

To various Halloween Party Organizers/Attendees:

Please remember that when ducking for apples, you're not supposed to use real ducks. The last thing we want is a return visit from Interplanetary PETA. (And if we get it, rest assured that I'm not doing the "clean up" like last year. Find yourselves some other sucker.)

Thanks.

cleome45

Posted outside:

IB showing guest how to operate Monitor Board.

Kindly leave alone for a couple hours.

PPS ignore pounding noises. IB just rearranging furniture.

Hey, All.

I fixed us some pound cake. It's in the Employee Lounge. No crumbs on the monitor, please. And don't forget to keep a lid on your coffee and tea at all times.

-- cleome

Party at IB's place Friday night. Bring chips, booze to share. Hot female friends welcome. Hot male friends too for the gay LMBers.

No vomiting or peeing on the furniture.

shopping list:

candy corn
spiced rum
hot party guest costume
cab vouchers
latex

Whoever borrowed my orange wig, please return it. No questions asked.

FOUND: Orange wig in the dishwasher. With a green leather thong(???), one martini glass and 6 olives. Left everything in a plastic bag under the #*$&%(%@ sink.

Shopping list:

Martini glasses
Vodka
Vermouth
Olives
Karaoke machine

To Whom it May Concern;

Please stop leaving crumb-cake crumbs all over the place in the monitor room. It attracts space ants, and the service won't come around since we lost that last exterminator.

Note:

Please stop watching adult sites on the MMB. I took a friend to see the monitor room the other day, and she thought I was the one checking out "Zwennian Furries Galore".

PS Whoever did watch that, you owe me big time.

Left at the monitor desk last night by space-courier:

One Zwennian Pantomime Horse costume. Size: XXL.

Please bring receipt to the desk to claim.

TO WHOMEVER: You don't have to lick Post-its to make 'em stick!

To Legion Tracker:

And what if I like licking them?

- Anonymous

Quote

Originally posted by Invisible Brainiac:
To Legion Tracker:

And what if I like licking them?

The world is a big place my friend.
To each his own.

The Naltorian Subcommittee will be meeting again. You know where. You know when. Attendance is optional, since you already know how it ends.

There is no champagne in the Champagne Room. There was never champagne in the Champagne Room. Let it go.

There is, however, Keith Champagne in the Champagne Room. Go get 'im.

shopping list

Elvabird (about 20 kg.)
Pluberry sauce (jellied and whole berry)
Space-Pumpkin (canned: yes! GMO: no!)
Imskian mini-onions

Don't worry about the green bean casserole. Ram Boy said he'd bring some this year.

LMB Secret Santa is on! Look for Invisible Brainiac to pick your gift recipient.

If you can't see him, just yell. If he doesn't answer, leave him a note.

He is most emphatically NOT lurking in the women's locker room.

"Cham: Impersonating a toilet... reeeeeally creepy."

*Actual legion world, not our community here.

Free: Two tickets ringside for Battle of the Anagrams, 7:30 tonight.

I just wanted to use this cute post-it shaped like an omnicom!!

PLEASE stop posting so many post-its! I missed an alarm from Greg Evigan Island the other day because I couldn't see the screen!

Troy, stop screaming your messages onto the post-it notes.
You scorched the last four pads!

Important message:

When you go to pick out the Xmas tree, please be careful that it's not

Thank You.

Meeting of the LnMB, Monday 8 p.m. Please bring your rebooted storyline. Members with names beginning A - F are responsible for refreshments.

Shopping List:

Tater Tots™
Extra nametags ("Hi! I'm ____ and my Alts are _____")
Ritz Crackers™
Shin Guards
Colored Tissue Paper (the ballroom needs more paper roses)
Sundae Bar Fixings (No Magic Shell™, though. It's EVIL!!)

If you see any of my collection of miniature Will Shatner clones running around, please don't step on them. Sorry for the inconvenience.

Why is everyone using Post-its it's 3011! We have all these ...

... fancy gadgets that allow us to be connected to each other at all times ...

.. that aren't limited by size and where does one even find post its anymore

We still have sixteen tons of Post-It notes left from that mishap in the past. Please use them faster!

A volunteer is needed to make sure Quank gets his afghan and his cup of Sleepytime every evening at six this Winter. I did it last year.

Thanks.

-- cleome45

Shopping list:

aspirin
Maalox
Pepto
ice packs
Hangovers For Dummies (20 copies, paperback edition)
Pine Sol
bleach

It's not my turn to pick up the booze and green supermarket cupcakes this year (speaking of Pine Sol...ewwww...). Talk to Cobie about that.

Happy Green Day.

-- cleome45

If anyone knows where the toilet plunger is, please help extricate Leprechaun Lad from you-know-where. (Why doesn't the wee doofus remember how much rickshaw hates mutant clover on his lawn?)

When I find out who stole all my daffodil bulbs out of the perennial bed, heads will roll! I mean it!

* DO NOT TOUCH

* Touch excessively

"Welcome our newest member Nam'Lor!"

"Do not disturb Power Boy, so hung over from going out with Nam'Lor last night."

"If anyone goes to the store, please pick up some aspirin, and/or vodka."

"Where did the giant 'Welcome, Nam'lor' cake go? Cute Gender-Ambiguous Person wanted to practice their 'leaping-from-the-cake routine."

"Cleome, Satan called. He decided he does want your soul after all."

Attn: All Legion Worlders:

That dude who keeps stopping by to try and peddle Goldman Sachs Visa cards and claiming that he's Satan? Totally an imposter.

I mean, there's Evil, and then there's abysmally bad taste. (Also, you can totally tell that those are paper mache horns. Just tap on one of them.)

Regards,

cleome45

"Nam'Lor's code name is not Satan, It's 'Nam'Lor'!"

Attention All Candidates:

No more using the Time Bubble to fetch bribes. If it doesn't exist in the present day, don't offer it. Nobody cares if you ruin the democratic process, since it was ruined before you got here. But the space-time continuum is another matter entirely.

Thank you. (Also remember that I adore dark chocolate, and cashmere's nice. But I'm allergic to cherrystone clams and I don't wear fur.)

"Why do we still use Post-Its in the 31st century why all other use of paper has been obsolete for over 500 years?"

Don't open the box

The last box of post-it notes was actually Proty II in disguise. Please stop tearing off tiny pieces of him and, for some of you, licking them.

We've discovered he likes that...

Ragey,

We use Post-Its so we can have an excuse to write silly things on them. What else would we do with them?

Well, if you're me, you write random, cryptic notes and numbers on them while on the phone or surfing the internet, then leave them all over the place and can't figure out what they mean when you come across them a month later.

Also, the fact that the Post-Its on the MMB are pieces of Proty II and also self-adhesive is slightly disturbing...

"Is your refrigerator running? Vote for it for LMB leader 2012!"

"Chicago called.

They're scared. Really scared."

It's election season. Vote early! Vote often!

Just remember to lie on the election poll afterwards. We like to torment the pollsters!

Dear Legion World,

Nobody is interested in seeing how many Easter eggs you can fit in your mouth at once, okay?

Click Here For A SpoilerBilliard balls, however, are a different story.

Sincerely,

cleome45

Dear cleome,

Exnihil is young and impressionable. Please do not give him any ideas.

-Dalek Emperor

Attn LMB:

Slip one hundred grand in unmarked bills under the door by 5 PM PST Saturday, or I finish off all the other threads, too.

-- cleome45

If I said I want your body now, would you hold it against me?

Watch out for the B-- in the MMB.

I'm showing Blaze the monitor board controls. Do not disturb. - IB

You finished the peanut butter?

Dear LMB,

I am highly offended by the appearance of several recent pandering, tasteless threads about our beloved Legion/LW...

Click Here For A Spoiler...that nobody PMed me an invitation to.

I'm storming off in a huff now. Don't try and come after me to apologize, EVER!

Click Here For A Spoiler...for at least the next couple of hours.

-- cleome45

Porn-watching party. Bring your best holos.

- <strike>Invisible Brainiac</strike> Blaze

(complete with hastily forged penmanship)

Shopping list:

Cauliflower
Cool Whip
Turnips
Home face-lift kit

Hey, who stole my dumbbells? Return to me pronto!

If you are extremely hot, please leave them in a box on my doorstep. Blaze might misinterpret your showing up.

- IB

Attn all;

There is no 'Every 10,000 Posts Monster.'

It's just an urban legend.

Please remove the leftover Cauliflower-CoolWhip Surprise from the fridge.

All-

I know who the murderer is. It's ---

(*bloodstain covers rest of post-it note*)

Attn LMB:

The culprit was the every 10,000 posts monster. Luckily Cauliflower-Cool Whip Surprise is its Kryptonite.

It's too bad about Kent, but at least he left me his vast fortune before his untimely demise. This means the combination wake-victory party won't have to be catered by Subway.

See you there. Saturday 9:30 PM until... whenever. Dress sexy.

-- cleome46

I know who's next. But I can't tell, or else the murderer will get me too.

Watch your backs.

I didn't do it! - IB

Me neither! - Blaze

Dear LMB,

It's okay if two posters use one account to save time/bandwidth. However, remember that you won't be able to participate in future elections unless you turn in Form #XR-3612.8 by September 1st, 2013.

At that time, you should be prepared to register as either an Independent, or a member of a single party (out of the 4,872,196 eligible parties listed on the form).

One account = One party affiliation, no matter how many of you are using the same account.

Yours for Democracy,

cleome46

Okay, who put glue on the chair's armrest? Haha, VERY funny.

Wanted for questioning: Whoever tried to "restore" those Leroy Neiman prints with the glue gun and that old box of wax lips.

Don't take this the wrong way, but I may need to give you a great big hug.

-- cleome46

Wet paint

"Okay, who's been watching porn on the Monitor Board... and why didn't you invite us to join in?"

"To whomever painted my mug invisible - very funny, and ultimately futile. Light powers, remember?" - IB

"Alright--WHO took my Conjure Lass robot?!?!?"

Originally Posted by Paladin

"Alright--WHO took my Conjure Lass robot?!?!?"

"I AM NOT UNDER YOUR OWNERSHIP. *BREEP*"

"The Mission Monitor Board needs to update its software. It will be down for the next 48 hours. I hope the Legion of Message Board Trolls and Flamers don't decide to attack."

The 25th anniversary of the Crisis on Infinite Post-Its has been rescheduled on account of the Re/Nu/Un/Retboot.

"Hey guys! Someone made a website with naked pics of LMBers!

Anyone not on it yet is a big loser!"

Been sucking in my gut and sticking out my chest for three whole months of photos now.

Somebody else take over the monitor this week, okay? I'm exhausted.

--cleome47

Who spiked my coffee?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

- IB

Dream Girl: Premonition is not Monitoring! Please report for your shift.

"Dear all. No I have NOT been replaced by a Power Boy robot!!!"

Sensor Girl: Omniscience may be monitoring, but you should at least make the effort.

Watch out for the...

<rest of message obscured by blood>

Visi-Lad: Multi-tasking is impressive. But no one likes a show off.

"Do. Not. Click. On. This. Link. Or Else."

Mon-El: Getting your Green Lantern duplicate to stand in is cheating.

"Valued members: Yes, the LMB is implementing a flexible work policy. But THIS DOES NOT EXTEND TO SHIRKING YOUR ASSIGNED MONITOR BOARD SHIFTS!"

IB it is your turn at monitor duty.

*blank stare*

Note to all; getting Eyeful Ethyl to cover your shift on monitor duty will no longer be tolerated.

Note to All: Radiation Roy is excused future monitor duty. Decontamination of the monitor room begins Monday.

Note 2: If you are reading this you are irradiated. Report to Element Lad.

Originally Posted by Power Boy

IB it is your turn at monitor duty.

*blank stare*

Peebz: I don't do blank stares. I don't have the eyes for 'em. - IB

Violet: When you said you'd keep an eye on things, we didn't think you meant an emerald one.

All: The GREEN switch is for turning off the "outbound comms" channel. Not the RED one. Special mention to Cobie and his sheep friend.

Who let Mordru out again!

"Wasn't me."

Quislet: How do you intend to replace the board, now you've possessed it?

"Please do not use the keyboard after eating Vyrgan gummi worms. Bits of Fat Cramer's fur are still stuck to the keys."

Would Infectious Lass' replacement please check the first aid box before beginning their shift.

Please tell Invisible Brainiac that I think we're being attacked by telepathic invaders. I can't yet tell if they are worms or starfish.

Who snarted?

Originally Posted by Emily Sivana

Please tell Invisible Brainiac that I think we're being attacked by telepathic invaders. I can't yet tell if they are worms or starfish.

Dear Emily,

Thank you for your pleasant note. I have investigated but have not seen any worms or starfish, telepathic or otherwise. I did have quite the nice swim in the ocean after. Oh, how relaxing! Why don't you come and join me? Bring all the LMBers, especially our telepaths and the most powerful ones. Don't forget to ask them to wear swimsuits only; no transuits or armor please. It will mess up the water.

Hoping to see you soon,

Invisible Brainiac

So it looks like nobody has had monitor duty for almost two years?

So where did all the fast food wrappers come from?

Can someone pick up some milk please

Who left their dirty mug here???

It's definitely not my turn to sweep again, c'mon people, we don't have an auto-hoover-bot in here

I suppose when someone put Stone Boy on monitor duty, it didn't occur to them that they'd have to get him out of hibernation?

If you MUST watch porn on the MMB, PLEASE change the channel and wipe your history before your shift ends.

And for grife's sake please wipe the keyboard down too!

It's not porn duty, it's monitor duty.

What's the difference?

How much cleaning is required after your shift is the difference...

One man's garbage is another man's porn...

OhmyGod! Like all porn is garbage.

Don't be greedy. Share your porn.

Death penalty is hereby instituted for anyone caught leaving their dirty underthings on the Monitor board.

Clean underthings are still acceptable, but only sealed in their original packaging.

If you must give me clean new underthings as a gift, please have Blaze approve them first - IB

Everyone,

The decorative sand garden on the South lot is not to be used as a catbox. Thank you.

Just got back from vacation. Venturan chocolates in the fridge.

Once again, The UP Orwellian Monitoring system is not to be used to look at "hot chicks/guys."

And don't leave all this webbing lying around!

Who erased my bookmark with the "Hot chickpeas with spice" recipe?

Excuuuuuse me for being tired of cheeseburgers and mac. [grumble]

Why does life have to be so tough?

The Multiple Personality Meeting Group will now be at 15:00. Tell Lu, Lar and Garth if you see 'em.

If you must trim your nails at the MMB, at least dump it in the trash. I am not your garbage disposal! - Tenzil

I know everything! I need not do Monitor Duty! - Progenitor... Jan...Garth

We are out of Post-its

Originally Posted by Quislet, Esq

We are out of Post-its

Not anymore!

We ran out of markers though. This note has been written using peanut butter.

If you must shave your legs on monitor duty, clean up after yourself. This means you Brin!

Note to Chuck: please adjust the seat back to normal width after you are done!

Monitor Duty Liaisons may seem romantic, but you don't have to clean the seats!

Actually, you do.

Cobie,

Adele must have called you a thousand times. Please get back to her.

Shopping List:

Seat covers
Contraceptives
Vegan turkey substitute
Gift cards for local 24-hr Diner A-Go-Go OF SPACE!

Randorian pudding in the fridge!

Urgent:

That stuff in the tin labeled "Nutmeg" is DEFINITELY NOT NUTMEG!!

SciPol has been called. Stay in your rooms until further notice.

Drat. I love nutmeg.

Gonna buy some at the store. Anyone want anything else?

Originally Posted by Invisible Brainiac

Actually, you do.

Stop using me as a seat! - Plastic Kid

"To the person who thought planting a hidden camera in the showers was a good idea - busted. We moved your camera to Sugyn's room. Hope you had fun watching."

Leaving the Monitor Room Door unlocked while you slip out to do... whatever.

BAD IDEA!

"Next time you bring pets to the Monitor Room... PLEASE CLEAN UP!"

Legionnaires,

Who recorded over today's episode of The Edge of Space???

Homemade chili in the fridge!

Please, help yourself to the pie (so I won't eat it all)!

Update: Brek hasn't made chili. He's made everything chilly. Sorry about the spelling. Wrap up warm for duty. - Jo

Don't touch the green jug in the fridge. That's not iced tea. Having a "sleepover" later. Sorry roomie, you're evicted again.

Shopping List:

Ground chocolate (fake hot chocolate is gross)
Antacid tablets
Woolen Gloves
Combat boots
Brick (to be hurled at media every time the phrase "War on Christmas" is uttered)

Attend the free hurling class, taught by Lash Lad and cleome!

Bring your own bricks and ashtrays.

Hurling class has been canceled due to illness ennui. But Profs. Cramer and Hackett have agreed to teach their always popular Curling Class instead. Be sure to sign up early as space is limited.

Extra credit assignment! Who wants to go round up a herd of lightning beasts?

If you're going to play music while on duty, please wear headphones.

Okay, stop putting me on the same missions as my ex. It's totally not funny. At. All. - Ayla

Ditto. - Brin

"Would the person who replaced Rokk's Mission Monitor Symbol with one of a penis, please return the original. Thank you."

"I'll take the penis symbol!" - Lyle

"We'll share!" - Condo

"Don't forget it's date night tonight Lyle - Myla"

(Myla didn't write that note herself. It was ghost written)

"Who the sprock is Myla?!?!" - Condo

"Invisibility doesn't mean we won't hear you having sex in public spaces"

That means YOU, Ibby.

Hey, Blaze and I cleaned up after!

"If you must have sex in the meeting room, please use anyone else's chair but mine."

"Is it OK to have invisible sex in the showers?" - Ibby, Blaze, Lyle and Condo

Not if you drag the monitor in there with you. It'll short out.

If you must have sex in the shower, please don't use up all the hot water

... and make sure you wash the floors after!!

Please stop breeding Koi Carp in my Environmental Tank
-Tellus

Dispose of garbage properly.

Vote Threeboot Ultra Boy off the team.

Who stuck the "Trespassers will be disintegrated" sign on my door?!

"Eat my snacks and DIE.

I mean, seriously. I'm Bismollian, remember?"

- Matter-Eater Lad

Where's the beef?

Originally Posted by SharkLad

Where's the beef?

I ate it all.

<----- (Unreconstructed carnivore)

Affect is a verb

Effect is a noun

Yay Sharky!

No time to tell you the big news. Got to split. Later. - Lu

"Remind the DJ to be sure to include that great 20th Century song, T. Rex's 'Spaceball Ricochet,' on my birthday party playlist."

- Chuck Taine

Gang,
Took Time Bubble back to 1983 to get Loretta Lynn at the height of her pie-baking prowess. Crisco'll do you proud every time!

I'll be back before you know I've gone.

- Rocky

Sharky,

I read your note with a flat affect, but then effected a change to my tone.

Semester starts on Tuesday. Need the planetary chance machine for classes. Anyone know where it is?

Okay, who set the Planetary Chance Machine off in the cafeteria?! You flattened three Imskites and a pet Proty!

Stop beaming When Worlds Collide to backwater planets to scare them into joining the UP. They'll find out in the end!

PLEASE set the universal translator to Interlac, not Pig Latin!

The Bismollian cake is gone... Please return it to the armory ASAP

Please don't put jello mix in the pool!

Stop putting a sign 'Teleporter' over the waste Disintegrator. Nobody is going to fall for that.

Oh yeah, completely unrelated, has anybody seen Not-So-Bright Lad?

Originally Posted by Kappa Kid

Please don't put jello mix in the pool!

Also; Please don't play pool with the jello mix.

Tonight's Menu: Elvabird sandwiches, kono chips, jello.

Who wants to go on a weekend trip to Ventura?

Pay up by tomorrow night so I can book tickets.

Quislet is *not* a hover ashtray!

Whoever fed habanero chili to the Earthquake Beast, please don't do it again.

Please stop spray painting Stone Boy gold and posing next to him like he is an Oscar.

Brin: If you leave claw marks on the furniture again, you will be neutered.

Infectious Lass, please remember to Purell the console when you go off duty.

Once more: watch adult videos on your own devices, please!!!

Last time we got a call, the caller saw the video in the background, POV and Cobie!

Reminder that Durlan molten mud pots are not authorized to be placed on the console area.

Also an aside to that special someone, prank calling the Dominators is not funny.

Originally Posted by Invisible Brainiac

Last time we got a call, the caller saw the video in the background, POV and Cobie!

Is there anyone who hasn't seen that video with POV & Cobie in it?

Brainy: Putting Computo into little Validus bodies around the HQ was bad enough. But putting Universo monocles on them is too much. Fix it!

Just read the Post-Its from a distance Entropy Kid. The stationary bill and miscommunication is costing us!

I'll be out of town this weekend on important business. Whose turn is it to feed the genetically altered lynx?

--cleome

Your notes are too long! Stop going off on tangents, Radius Lad!

Originally Posted by cleome54

I'll be out of town this weekend on important business. Whose turn is it to feed the genetically altered lynx?

--cleome

It'll be one of the dead guys, resurrected by DC because Alan Moore wrote them, and they just can't let go.