<For several hours, or perhaps several days, a deadly game of cat and mouse has raged inside the secret Legion World Tesseract System as Hrun the Barbarian and Stoopid Cat hunt each other>

Laying in ambush Stoopid Cat listens to the labored breathing of the barbarian. Ever since Hrun managed to enter the tesseract system after their battle at SHAKES, SC has been leading the barbarian in circles. The teseracts are his creation and playground, they respond to his every whim, the barbarian has to run uphill to chase him down hill, straight passageways curve, bend, and loop behind him - forcing the barbarian to expend more and more energy in the chase.

"Following me in here was a really stupid move Hrumf! Here the advantages are all mine!"

A mere ten feet separates the two but for Hrun it might as well be ten light-years. He has already discovered that it is worse than useless to hurl his axe in the confines of the tesseracts (It has a tendancy to loop back at him) and to make matters worse the suddenly sentient statue of Fat Cramer has joined forces with Stoopid Cat.

Howling with rage the barbarian suddenly changes tactics. His axe begins to bite into the wall of the tessseract. Within seconds he has hewn a new entrance to the system and he steps through it...

"Stoopid Cat! I will have your fur for my pouch! But I will take it at a time and place of my choosing! Then I wil take these tesseracts and bend them to MY will!"

"We'll see about that Hrumbf, won't we?"

Peeering through the new opening Stoopid cat sees Hrun in the new Dreamateria...

Nice tesseract system you've built here, Stoopid Cat. I hope my statue is safe in there. Walking, talking statues are a bit unnerving.

**Purr**

Not to worry Sis. Your statue will be fine here. I don't know how or why it came to life but it has and it's definitely not happy with Hrumfb. Maybe it's trying to return the abducted statues to their rightful pedestals?

**Purr**

Let me know if you see Furball around...

SC, I've been meaning to explore this system myself, strictly for security purposes.

I'll stay out of the battle b/t you and Hrun though--it's too personnel a matter for me to intervene now. Still, I want to know how I ended up in your litter box when five seconds earlier I was looking at the statue of Invisible Brainiac...

I'd love to see my buddy Furball show up! But I'd have warn him to stay away from the barbarian with a fur fetish...

**Purr**

No idea about the litter box (except that you may have triggered ine of the tesseracts auto transport tubes, I kind of forgot where I put some of them...

Also, while you're wandering around in here remember Abin has to dump the litterbox somewhere, and a few of the side tunnels do smell a little odd.

**Purr**

Nice system you've got here, SC. I see that in addition to the portal at SHAKES, there's one at SHAMELESS HUSSIES. That would be of special benefit to ICEFIRE. During his breaks as a bartender at SHAKES, he could pop over to SHAMELESS HUSSIES for a quick pole dance and pick up some extra credits. That is, if ICEY ever comes back to work. Anyone seen him around?

Not lately, but I haven't seen a lot of the good looking guys that work at Shameless Hussies either. Maybe he's giving them a lesson in flirting?

<Hm...definately don't want to go down that tunnel...>

Hey Stoopid Cat! Great tesseract network! Listen, I just wanted to warn you that Connie is in a major snit right now and I get the feeling that SOME of it just might be directed at you. If you see her before she sees you, you just may want to run!

Of course, if she sees Hrun first you have nothing to worry about. She's got vengence on her mind and he's going to experience it if I know my Connie.

PS: Tell Abin you're litter box in here needs to be changed. Smells like it's been accumulating for months in here!

Hrun Walks through the tesseract system.

"By the gods this is the spot"

Opening a small pouch, he takes out a vial and pours the liquid contents out onto the floor.

A small wisp of smoke rises from the spot. Hrun takes the amulet and passes it through the smoke. Then putting it around his neck he walks off.

"Now by the potions of the witch queen, this tesseract system is mine to control"

"Witch queen"? Sounds like Thora's been smuggling some new mind-warping drugs from Taltar.

Nice system, BTW, Stoopid Cat.

<Enters Tesseracts from SHAKES, Immediately recognizes the stench of evil magic. Long loping TIGER GOD AVITAR strides carry him swiftly to the spot where Hrun's potion befouled his tesseracts. Swiftly he relieves himself onto the spot, thus neutralizing the potion.>

**ROAR**

HRUMBF, I'M COMING FOR YOU, NEXT

**ROAR**

Unfortunately this was exactly what Hrun was expecting.

As the steam rose from the extinguished potion it curled itself around the Tiger God Avatar. hidden in the steam were, well lets just say passengers.

These passengers will bide their time and will assist Hrun in a final battle.

Whew, this place smells like a barbarian took a big dump in an abandoned corner...


Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Not the place I'd hide a baby But, what do I know... Handy for getting around though... there's an opening to that new Island...)

I'll take your word for it.

Keep an eye out for anything out of the oridnary.

What could be considered out of the ordinary, Here?


Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Hey, I just discovered where Semi keeps the SHAKES Booze Supply!)

Babies, sorceresses, defensive linemen....use your best judgement.

And what if we find all three rolled into one?


Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Kind of an Elmo Sapp Merlin thing, Ya'know?)

I think cutting and running would work pretty well as a strategy.

I'm gonna try out the scanner down here, see if we can pick up anything now that we're on the inside. If you've got any super-senses, now's the time to focus 'em.

Well, using the super-sense of smell is out!

But I do see something way off in the distance over there!

Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(We're looking for a baby, right? And it's not one of Cobie's Kids, right?)

Hey guys! My patrol isn't going so hot so I thought I'd run in here and give you guys a...

*suddenly trips over the object in the distance*

Egads! What was that?

I don't know.

Did it squeak when you hit it?

Ummm... Future, you might want to back away... Slowly... from that... whatever it is...


Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Miner, please tell me the kid we're looking for isn't one of COBIE'S KIDS!!!!)

Not to my knowledge, though it did leave a nice dark liquid on my boot.

Maybe it was just some leftover storage from SHAKES?

Who the heck can keep track anymore?

Maybe we'll get lucky and it'll just be some Lovecraftian horror instead.

Technically, aren't half the villains we deal with Cobie children?

Anyway, I'm not really sure what we stumbled on. Looks like it's been here for awhile, it's covered in dust and other nonsense.

Should we 'port it back to the office for examination?

CHILLIAIATHON?


Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(or SUGGARASS, or something?)

Didn't most of the Lovecraftian Monsters start out as dust covered lumps of something?

Still, porting it back to the office might be the best way to go...

Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(as long as we go somewhere else)

Don't we have a lab where we can drop these sorts of things off?

I think Dr One is vacationing on Orgasmis Major, and My Kids are in Medicus Two...

Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(SO... NO! NO WE DON'T)

So much for that idea.

So who wants to take a closer look at it?

Well I am Assistant Chief of Security...


Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Did you just feel a breeze? Why is that dust shifting around?)

Works for me.

I'll just keep a close eye on things over here. You know, just in case.

Go ahead, Space Ranger! OM and I are right behind you!

...and with our powers, able to make fast exits.

With Dr. One on vacation, perhaps the newcomer Dr. Gimlet & his assistant Trysexual Girl could take a look at it for us?

Somehow I think Vacuum Cleaner Lass would be the appropriate person to check this out...


Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(why is that dust gathering around my ankles?)

And is it me, or is there a lot more of that black liquid Future stepped in earlier?

Careful where you step in there, Ranger! It's quite unkept around that object.

(I should know...my poor boots! Time for a good polishing anyway, I suppose.)

Umm... Guys... It's getting kind of hard to move my feet... Maybe one of you could give me a hand?

Or a quick shift to somewhere else?

Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Anywhere else!)

Hold on a sec, Ranger!

OM, can you 'port him out without bringing this sticky nonsense along?

You mean the sticky nonsense that seems to have covered my lower body?

That would be a "no".

Now that's a hand! I know what hands feel like grabbing my leg and that's definately a hand!


Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(and there shouldn't be a hand there!)

...we are now doomed old women...

Okay, okay...let's see, if I run away & then come back time-slipping myself fast enough to build up momentum in real time & other science mumbo-jumbo, I should be able to pull you guys out...

...except now that liquid on my boots is making them sticky. Let me take them off and I'll try for an escape attempt.

Go for it!


Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(I don't like strange hands, especially There!)

If you can do that, Future, I can risk a short teleport burst. The only problem being I can't really focus on a location right now. We could end up anywhere.

Okay, okay, here we go...

(Sigh...now those boots are really goners! The filth already has gobbled them up!)

*Future darts off in the blink of an eye, chronal energy ripping behind him as he makes a U-turn at the end of the Tesseract and speeds back toward and past OM & Ranger, grabbing their hands/claw as he does so*

Hope I've got enough inertia built up...try it now, OM!

Better than Here!

Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Hands aren't supposed to go there unless I want them to and I don't want them to!)

<OM & Space Ranger are ripped free by the sudden impact>

Here goes nothing!

<The three disappear>

Wholly Spit!


Truth and Justice shal...

**HISS**

No NOT That Alarm! That Alarm Can't be going OFF!

What Happened!

(enters tesseract a few feet from where Future, Ranger, and Miner were standing)

It's Gone!

(Leaps out of tesseract, every hair on his body standing on end!)

****HISSSSSSSS****

<Hears terresact alarm, bursts into terrasact>

What the hell? What's going on here? Is Ranger here?

Where'd Stoopid Cat go? I've been down here before, but it's such a big system to explore. Who knows what Stoopid Cat has down here? Good thing he gave me a device to hear the alarm with...

<trips, spills high-ball drink>

DAMMIT! Now I'm really mad! What the hell is going on here?!

*Sigh* I guess I'll wander around and try to find someone...or some gin...

SHAKES tesseract beverage service for your pleasure. One gin coming right up, Cobie.

I love Legion World.

Thanks Semi! Now the search can continue!

<A blast of frigid artic air swirls through the tesseracts and dumps a frozen ball of fur next to a man sized statue>

Hey Stoopid cat, i brought you your catnip to make you stoopider. I've got to go before the search party gets here.

<opens the evil genius door, and exits tesseract>

<walks up to statue>

Great, magic. I hate magic.

Maybe these magic healing/spirtiual powers (which I barely understand) can be of some use.

Or do you think something horrible will happen, if we start fiddling with the magic of Bast...

<Tamper's catnip glows and merges into the frozen form of stoopid cat>

<notices residue of Tamper Lad's appearance>

Mm-hm.

<uses Security chip in head technology to pinpoint, with accuracy, the last known Legion World resident to be on the scene of the crime>

Tamper Lad. Evil geniuses can be quite useful, but I think we'll need another on him...

Cobalt, look at that statue, is that a statue of Hrun the Barbarian?


Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(or is it... Nah, can't be... )

Hm, I think you're right! I remember Stoopid Cat having something like that stolen...

I say we leave it. Last thing we need is for the Security Office to be involved in the Hrun/Stoopid Cat grudge.

Ranger, you think your 'heat vision' could melt this ice and free him?

**meow**

SC?

Hm, I think he's waking up...

<uses healing powers to bring Stoopid Cat back to full health. Lays out bowl of fresh cream>

Maybe this will help...

**Meow**

<looks around nervously>

Is she here? Tell her I didn't mean to do that.

<Sniffs cream, tastes it>

**Meow**

Oh poor SC...*strokes fur gently*

<Genius door opens, Tamper emerges. Provides stoopid cat with more catnip. Exits via genius door.>

**Purr**

<Cats love attention>

**Purr**

A mission accomplished! Glad to be of service, Stoopid Cat.

<pets SC>

...Being careful not to shove LAM out the way while doing it...

<A gateway from the SUDL opens depositing a special cargo to the tesseract system.>

<Deep inside the tesseracts Pagan Lass settles into a lotus position in front of a small pond. The water in the scrying pool clouded at her touch and then cleared to show a scene from many centuries ago>

It was a hot, wet, cold, and dusty morning as the sun set behind the far off mountains as it usually did that time of year. In later centuries the sun would change it’s habits and set in the evening instead of the morning but unfortunately this story occurred during an era when the Almost Sun God, Pre-Ra and the Almost Moon God, Pre-Khons were experimenting with how days should work. They didn’t have it quite right yet. In fact only two of the Pre-Egyptian Deities had their acts down pat during this era; Rota-Pelvis the Music God of Memphis and Bast the Goddess of Cats.

The Pre-Egyptian Music Gods Rota-Pelvis and the Vulva-Seekers had retired to Pre-Memphis along the banks of the Soon to be Nile River, leaving in their wake a pair of blue suede sandals and thousands of broken hearted Pre-Egyptian teenage girls clutching empty Eskimo Pie wrappers (Eskimo Pies were invented by the Pre-Egyptian God Rota-Pelvis and were the original “Food of the Gods”, Ambrosia replaced them many centuries later only to be displaced again when Rota-Pelvis was reincarnated). Life in the small village of Not-Named-Yet was slowly returning to pre-normality after the dramatic ending of the festival of the Music God. The final number of the festival, that enormously popular Pre-Egyptian Love Song, “Blue Suede Camel Hotel Heartbreak” left the audience in awe, several Pre-Groupies and Almost-Camels pregnant, and Numb-Nuts the Semi-Incomprehensible with Pre-Excedrin Headache Number (-23)

Into all of this rode the Pre-Pharaoh’s entourage. Abu Nabu Bejabu, despite the way his name sounds, was a wise and just ruler. This actually means, when you consider the era in which he ruled, that he traveled with a large number of burly guard type individuals who took great pride in their skills with the “Long Knife” and practiced them often. Usually on members of the Pre-Egyptian general populace who happened to annoy the Pre-Pharaoh by existing. He was also wise enough to time his arrival in the area of Not-Named-Yet so that he and his entourage would miss the dramatic ending of the festival of the Music God, thereby sparing himself a major headache and the lives of many festival goers. Little things like that count for a lot when one wants to be known as a wise and just ruler.

NNtSI, lived in a large Tetrahedron on the edge of Not-Named-Yet due to the fact that pyramids hadn’t been invented yet. It was a lonely and thankless existence for the Master Sorcerer, considering that with the exception of half a google of young and nubile slaves he and his apprentice STUGerbil were entirely alone. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the Pre-Egyptian numerical system a google is equal to two hands plus two feet time two hands plus two feet or considering the number of people who were missing various digits could be anywhere from one to one hundred. In this case it was 120. Master Sorcerers can do that.

STUGerbil stood next to the Master Sorcerer, Numb-Nuts the Semi Incomprehensible, and watched as the Pre Pharaoh’s entourage arrived outside the massive tetrahedron. (Okay, admit it, you all knew that a pyramid is a tetrahedron, but a tetrahedron isn’t necessarily a pyramid, didn’t you?) Behind them the massive multi colored thing of Pre-Egypt, (which in an untold story that hadn’t happened yet, but will happen later but might never be told, because this is just so confusing, left the earth and mutated into the massive multi colored thing of Ekron) pulsed a blinding warning. Luckily they were both wearing their cool shades which oddly enough had been imported from Pre-Legion World by an ancestor of Pre-Cobalt Kid, who sold cool things out of the Secret Trophy Cave Hideout located in a secret location on the other side of Not-Named-Yet.

Unfortunately for our heroes, which happen to be STUGerbil and Numb-Nuts the Semi-Incomprehensible in case anyone is confused, while polarizing lenses hadn’t been invented yet polarizing actions had. And the actions being taken outside the pyramid shaped tetrahedron by the wise and just Pre-Pharaoh’s full google (in this case 76, but I have no idea why) of burly guard type individuals who took great pride in their skills with the “Long Knife” and practiced them often, could definitely be considered Polarizing.

Polarizing because they immediately began lining up siege engines and preparing to assault the tetrahedron. Polarizing because all 76 of the large burly guard type individuals drew their “Long Knives” in a single well practiced motion. Polarizing because the Pre-Pharaoh strode to the front of his troops and unleashed the single most feared engine of destruction in the entire arsenal of the Pre-Egyptian army, Stoopid Cat!

“I thought you said they were coming for peaceful negotiations?” STUGerbil commented as he observed the actions of the rapidly deploying forces.

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Just perhaps, STUGerbil was spared any further embarrassment by the movements outside, because as he was about to mention to NNtSI that he was not a geeky white dude pretending to be a Shao-Lin Monk, a movement caught his eye.

“Look, Master, The cat is approaching the walls. Should we do something?”

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STUGerbil paused and looked down at his gerbil body – The greatest rodent catcher in the world? Still it was just a cat and he was a vaguely powerful wizard. He could handle any cat.

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But before STUGerbil could think about the knowledge his master had imparted to him, Stoopid Cat was there. A paw half the size of STUGerbil’s body lashed out and…

It’s not easy (or safe) to surprise a Master Sorcerer; unless, of course, you happen to be a Goddess.

Bast, the Pre-Egyptian Goddess of Cats, did not fear the wrath of Numb-Nuts the Semi-Incomprehensible. She materialized inside the tetrahedron astride a Numedian Lion just as he was launching a bolt of Mystic Energy designed to vaporize Stoopid Cat on the spot.

quote:



** Eddie Tor’s Note **

“look fer easy of readin’, da Master Sorcerer’s woids will now be translaterid from speakin Heiroglyps ta plain ol engrish. Dis is because dere’s nobody ta gives youse guys da idea o’ wot he’s sayin’. An’ also because da stupid MB transliterates da wingding tings dat should appears inta little squares an’ funky like nummers. Okay?

** Eddie Tor’s Note Over Wit **

“Hold, Master Sorcerer!” She cried, as soon as her vocal cords appeared in this universe. She assumed that he would know what to hold when she cried that. Pre-Egyptian Goddesses were big on assumptions that mere mortals would know just what they were talking about. And she was intentionally vague because she would have found it highly amusing if he had grabbed his neither regions (Which of course assumes that master sorcerers have neither regions). Pre-Egyptian Goddesses were also very big on amusing themselves but since batteries hadn’t been invented yet their methods were quite crude.

Luckily he held the appropriate thing, which of course assumes that you all know what the appropriate thing is, or was, or will be; but anyway, he held it and it was the right choice.

Now for anyone other than a Master Sorcerer stopping a Mystic Energy bolt once it had been gathered and readied for launch would be a nearly impossible task. But since NNtSI was indeed a Master Sorcerer, he simply pulled it down and put it into his pocket. Which is far easier said than done. I mean just think about it. Would you walk around all day with a mystic energy bolt primed and ready to go off in your pocket, right next to your neither region? Which assumes of course that you have a neither region, you do don’t you?

“Why do you intervene, Goddess?” He asked, ignoring what he had just done. “What is that Stoopid Cat to you?”

For a split eon, Bast stared at the Master Sorcerer, dumbfounded by what she had just witnessed. It should be noted at this point that while Bast’s primary mission was to save Stoopid cat from total destruction, she had a secondary purpose in visiting the Master Sorcerer. At the time she was the only fully formed god or goddess in the Pre-Egyptian Pantheon. That means that she was the only one with 100% fully functional parts, get the picture? Well, anyway when the Master Sorcerer tucked that bolt into his pocket she almost fainted.

“One of my favored creatures…” She replied as she reached down between her legs and began slowly stroking the mane of her lion. The man’s sheer confidence in his abilities amazed her and she began to wonder if he was that confident about everything he did. With difficulty, she forced her attention back to his face and slowly let her hand drift upwards from her lion’s mane.

“Stoopid Cat is destined to…” A slight smile crossed her face as she stopped speaking for a moment. Her hand drifted up to her left shoulder where a single brooch held her robe-like garment in place. “Perhaps it would be better if I simply showed you.” A single motion disconnected the cat shaped brooch and her robe fell away revealing…

A panoramic view of the universe.

Suddenly it was numb-nuts the Semi-Incomprehensible’s turn to be dumbfounded and amazed. Wonderingly he gazed around him as he pondered how improbable it was to be dumbfounded before being amazed. But it had happened and he had to accept the fact as he looked at the mysteries of the universe unfolding around him. Stars, Planets, and Nebulae swirled in an ever expanding panorama as his senses struggled to comprehend the vast enormity of what had been concealed in her robe. “And here I thought she was smuggling puppies,” he muttered.

Slowly he became aware that he was not alone with the goddess. STUGerbil floated on his right side and Stoopid Cat sat on the goddess’ left shoulder.

“Your two companions hail from a far flung and barely conceivable future, Master Sorcerer, but they are the key do defeating the most heinous menace our universe will ever face.”

Suddenly she was standing tall on the back of her lion, and the lower half of her garment had been whisked away. Two more universes appeared as she turned away from him. “Look at the universes, not what is between them,” she ordered sharply as she bent to place Stoopid Cat on the lion’s back. “For now anyway,” she added with a smile.

“How can there be more than one universe?” He asked in amazement, struggling to keep his attention focused on the twin moon shaped windows. “And do you realize how hard it is…”

“I told you,” she cut him off, “Look at the twin universes.”

Mentally, he counted to ten. She might be a goddess he thought thru clenched teeth but to tell someone not to look at something that…

“What you see are the universes that are closest to ours. Call them universes “B” and “C”.” She turned so that only the universe on the left was visible. “In the future that both StuRat and Stoopid Cat come from…”

Her words were cut off by a loud YOWL from Stoopid Cat. When Bast spoke the name “StuRat” STUGerbil had transformed. Gone was the vaguely powerful sorcerer and in his (its?) place stood the extremely powerful sorcerer. StuRat looked down at himself wonderingly.

”HOW??”

Interestingly it was the Numedian Lion who answered, prompting another surprised YOWL from Stoopid Cat.

“It is the first step in you becoming ME!” It (he?) roared. “Just remember this sequence; Rat, Sort of Human, Puppy, Collie, Lion. And never, EVER become a duck, or all is lost.”

“But what does all of this mean?” The Master Sorcerer and Stoopid Cat both asked at the same time, which caused another round of confusion because up to that point, no one but the Goddess knew that Stoopid Cat could talk (and that included S.C.).

“In the future that both StuRat and Stoopid Cat come from a vastly powerful being will lead his followers in an invasion of a place called Legion World. The only beings capable of defeating this menace are your descendent Pagan Lass, StuRat, and Stoopid Cat, If they can work together.”

“But I have no children,” the Master Sorcerer stammered.

“We will fix that,” the Goddess smiled.

The universes began to fold back into the robe of the Goddess, as she reached out to the stunned Master Sorcerer...

The above story segments were originally posted in the Ongoing Tag-Team Thread by Abin Quank and are reprinted here With his full permission as a curtesy to newer members of the Legion World Community.

Any resemblence between the Cat Goddess Bast depicted above and the Masquerading Child currently inflicting her presence on LW is purely coincidental.

Wild, Pagan Lass...is there any room for me in your story? I know a thing or two about creating things out of thin air...

In reality, (person behind the computer) you are pissing me off!

**Rowl**

I'll just keep track of things from in here, that way whenever he shows up, I can get there quickly...


**Rowl**

Hrun lays out the wards and traps carefully. Setting up a series of mirrors he them retreats slightly up the tesseract system to a point where no one can approach him from the rear.

***YOWL***

<Slides back into the Tesseracts from the Fix-it shop and Cafe Cramer and moves carefully over to the nearest wall...>

Time to show the Barbarian just who controls the tesseracts...

<Several doorways appear, all leading to the Security Office... And a Howling Gale begins blowing through the tunnels>

**Yowl***

Hrun ios blown off his feet. Flying wildly through the tessearacts Hrun tries to regain control.

Finally he lands inside the Security office.

LAM enters office, sees Stoopid Cat and automically erects a barrier to protect his little pal

*sulks on her ice slide*

I was created? By Luna and her weird sisters? *sigh* This blows. Though it does explain why I look nothing like my so-called parents.

*looks around*

Oh, crud. I'm definitely lost now. Gotta get me a sense of direction, stat.

<Through some sort of PA system? WTF???>

Don't worry about it Chilly.

Have fun in the tesseracts.

Don't call me Chilly, strange voice!

*glares at the system*

Screw this place, I ought to go sulk in Shakes. At least there's booze there.

(whispers in Frio's mind)

You were created for greatness, who else can say such a statement?

Well I'm confident I can...

Ohmigod! I'm hearing more voices. This can not be a good sign...

Though, I do like the greatness idea. Hmm. May have to hold onto that one.

Sorry, guys, coming through! Has anyone seen Varalent in here, by any chance?

Nope? Then I guess I'll have to move on.

(continues searching)

Rrrrooooooaaaarrrr!!!!!


*Stoopid Cat, get out here this instant. My human is gone...disappeared without a trace and now I understand that yours is as well. WHile the humans here mean well, they've accomplished very little in tracking either of them down. And none of them hav e even noticed that others have gone missing as well. I've been very patient but it's time to call out the LMBP Super Pets. Maybe we can get to the bottom of this mystery.

tap, tap, tap

Don't make me come find you SC! You won't like the consequences if I have to!

Sorry, Queen Connie, but Stoopid Cat is indisposed for a while, it seems Hrun hit him with a Catnip Bomb, and he hasn't fully recovered yet.


Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(I have no idea what to give a cat for a hangover.)

Queen Connie?

I'm Frio. I've been moping around here for a while but I recently received a message from Cobalt Kid informing me of the impending crisis. I know I'm not a Super Pet but is there anything I can do to help?

Oh and hey Space Ranger. What's shaking homie?

<Message from TL>

Sorry Chil... Frio. I will remember your name from now on.

*sniffs* Well, it's a start, at least.

SHRIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!

<throws banana peel>

Hello Connie, I'm here to help. I've contacted you telepathically, as I have no wish for these humans to know I can communicate. Save for the great Eryk Davis Ester, humans are a very strange breed of bi-pedal.

**Meow**

Stoopid Cat reporting for duty, Queenie...

I'll be over here in this dark corner waiting for your instructions. Tell that damm monkey to think quieter...

**meow**

Hello Frio, sorry I didn't see you a moment ago...

Are you all right?


Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Seems a litttle shaken up...)

Hmm. Haven't been down here since that whole monster deal some time back.

Evidently the contract with Abin doesn't extend here...

S'cool Space Ranger. I'm fine. I just got some... surprising news not too long ago but I'm coping now. Thank you for asking.

Space Ranger, how're we going to help Cobalt Kid with this crisis? Seems like everything's going wrong at once!

LAM wishes to offer his services in the pursuit of finding the missing Council members...

Mrooow!

*That's the spirit! LAM dearie I accept your offer of aid and wish to appoint you my personal aide du camp for this campaign. (I'm told all great military field commanders MUST have one of those) Do you accept?

Meeeeow!

* What a dear you are! And yes your help will be much appreciated. I'm gathering the Super Pets and have accepted LAM and Hrun's offers of help as well.

If both of you can help me organize the Super Pets it would be much appreciated.

Mrrruuunnhhuuuhhh!

* Thank you for answering my call to arms so quickly CM! And yes, humans truly area strange breed.

Mrooow!

*There you are SC! First things first. That barabrian Hrun has offered his assitance in this venture and I have accepted. I will expect you to behave yourself and not get carried away when he's around. You two will just have to put a hold on your little play feud while this mission is underway, understood? I'll really need you to do the scouting for us.

Hrun eye's Stoopid Cat suspiciously.

Then reaches into his fur pouch and offers a small helping of jersey cream to SC.

Quickly pulling his hand back to avoid any claws that arrive.

Just tell us what to do and we will do our best to help you.

*glances at the monkey*

Am I hallucinating or is he glaring at us Space Ranger?

**meow**

<Experimentally extends claws... Glances at Queen Connie... Retracts Claws... Snifs at small bowl of Jersey Cream)

For you Connnie... and for Abin and Vee...

<Laps up cream, looks expectantly at Hrun>

**meow**

I'm not positive, Sen... Frio, but I think that may be his normal expression.

<places himself between Frio and Calamity Monkey>

Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(We could give MEL a call...)

My allegiance - and my lap - are yours, Connie!

Hrun places a larger bowl of Jersey Cream down and adds freshly chopped chicken livers on a plate next to the cream.

**meow**

<Sniffs suspiciously at Cream and livers, Glances at Queen Connie, who nodds her head imperceptively.>

Okay Hrun, we're at peace for now, but if you ever even think of starting another "Pussy Hunt"...

<Chows Down>

**Me... (cat burp) ...ow**

Maybe I will, just to be on the safe side.

*pinches Space Ranger's cheek*

Thanks soldier.

Inside the already weakened reality of the tesseract system, the walls between the dimensions weaken even further, and ...something... comes through. Lots of something’s.


With a skittering of legs the white moon bodies scuttle off to various parts of the tesseract system. The lune-I-ticks lie in wait...

*Toll collection transponder grid 3.14,2.76,1525 under attack*

Thanks Compy, lets investigate this one first.

<Coasting in to the co-ordinates of the transponder. TL looked at a mass of thousands of tick-like creatures, white and buzzing.>


<They swarmed over the dodecahedral machine that TL had installed as a source of toll revenue for his institute only days earlier. They were a seething mass, fetid and disgusting, like maggots on a warm cow pattie.>

Hmmm, The machine is still in relatively good condition. If I could recover the data recorder we might be able to find out more about these ticks and their origin.

I hope the message at the command centre gets through to somebody. What we need is for someone to be able to blast them off the machine without damaging it. I know, I need CHILLY... er ah FRIO.

DERNITTTT FRIIIIOOOOOOO WHERE ARE YOU????

(IB Indigo flies in, zapping the ticks. He fries a handful, halting their advance momentarily, but more keep coming)

Sorry, TL. I maybe not be as useful as Frio, but I'm here. Not that it'll do much good, I suppose. Those ticks could have gotten through to any place on Legion World by now. I'll try to hold them off long enough for you to get the tape recorder, but you'd better be careful. But I guess you're smart enough to know that without me telling you.

Help meeeee...

I'm here! I'm here! Don't get your panties in a twist. Jeez.

Oh, crud. More of these things?

*sends out a localized cold front, protecting the machine but hitting the bugs*

Well that --

*more come, a few break free from the frost and all look angry (if that's possible)*

-- doesn't really do much at all. Any ideas genius man?

Yes, I can use the EVACUATION protocol. I'll need a path cleared to the transponder so I can get the data recorder to analyze these ticks. If your friend Cali were here we'd be able to do this easily.

I will then activate the self-destruct protocols on my mines... I mean toll collecting machines. The explosion should cause the reality of the tesseract to convulse like a spastic colon. I'll time the explosion to blow us back to the plaza and flush the ticks into a black hole.

The only side-effect is that the tesseract system will be unavailable until the vibrations settle down, two weeks I believe. Once again Legion World will be safe because of my brilliance.

You catch that IB Indigo?

I got it, I CAN understand basic English, you know. Fine, let's hop to it then, no need to hang around here longer than we have to.

(IB encases himself, TL and Frio in a bubble of light, then starts blasting the ticks)

Yuck. These things are gross. If I'm lucky, a week's worth of showers will get the stench out. Okay, TL, we're here. Where's the recorder?

Come On IB I need your help. Frio, flank out to the right to cover our charge to the machine.

<The pair charges towards the machine>

The data recorder is inside the shell. I'll need several minutes to extract it.

Just keep those things off my head IB and Frio, I don't want them devouring my beautiful mind.

Oh good lords, are the ticks back? *Blasts several invaders with a stun-bolt*

LAM keep them off my back I need some time this is going to take longer than I thought.

Will do, TL *encases more ticks within a net of latticed energy* Frio, IB, Hun, need assistance here!

<swatting a bug from his head>

Ah my beautiful brain, jeepers. LAM, IB, Frio protect my intellect.

<A large mass of ticks gathers round the TL's lower body, writhing about his groin.>

Dern it, OWWWW that smarts, my NADS. Oh well I guess I'll have to go without for a while.

Oh cripes, the monstrous blood-suckers!!!! IB, Hrun, to arms...we need more arms to battle!

<swatting the bugs away from his groin>

Dern it, I'm bleeding down there. Did you guys ever wonder Coluans have green blood? Mmmm that's a nice coppery smell, isn't it?

Maybe I should use the Britishizher... no too risky wouldn't want to turn THAT into bangers and mash.

<Frio blasts the tick draining blood from TL's groin with an icy blast>

HEY watch it CHILLY, if you freeze that, and it becomes brittle and breaks off when am I gonna get my turn in the closet with you.

Tamper Lad, we are in deep trouble...Furthermore, it's going to take some fancy footwork and manuevering to protect Connie and the other Super-Pets from being overcome...

*LAM does a back-flip, sending the energy-net careening towards another cadre of albino ticks...

<Tamper swats frozen bug away from his groin and once more sticks his hands into the machine to extract the data recorder.>

Bloody Nass, what was I thinking when I designed this bloody thing.

Hrun!

Can your energy axe tear a hole in the wall so we can get out into the open?

IB, we need some assistance in making sure that hole is wide enough to get us out....even if the albino ticks follow us into the Plaza, Tamper Lad needs time to extract the data recorder!

Quickly! time is of the essence!

Oh Great Kortoros - where's Connie and the other super-pets?

The pets are fine LAM, last I saw they were back at the plaza.

Bloody nass it's so hard to do delicate work when my hands are covered with this slimy green goop called blood. MY BLOOD, at least my brain is still okay.

I'm feeling a litte faint...

How 'bout a kiss CHILLY, I think this green goop would look nice in that white hair of yours. Ever think of getting it streaked? Green is all the rage on Legion World these days or so I've heard.

<IB, LAM, and Frio look at each other in disgust>

LAM: "Tamper Lad, you saved our bacon! But the ticks are still rampant throughout Legion World and frankly, we need re-inforcements like Kid Prime, Cobalt Kid, etc. Surely their mighty abilities will aid us in our time of great peril?"

Last I heard, those guys are busy, LAM. Guess those other crises are more important than this. (shrugs) Besides, I think the four of us will be able to handle this.

(shields Tamper Lad from the ticks while he works on getting the recorder)

This should keep you from getting any more wounds. And just in time too. Coluan blood and evil ticks don't smell good together. I was about to gag.

Haven't saved anything yet here comes another swarm of them. Vector (1.25,1.74,1867)

Keep em off me. Frio that offer's open anytime you know?

Hrun appears, buffeted by the winds of alternative reality (and a heavy night of mead drinking)

“Ah Môn Cheri I saw your act at les cage au follies tonight, you were divine”

Plants huge kiss on Tamper lads lips.


“oh look at these icky ittle bug thingies”


And he uses his axe to swipe all the Lune-i-ticks from the recording machine, and Tamper Lads groin

(rolls eyes)

TL, you're starting to sound a little desperate there.

(blasts another swarm of ticks heading their way, almost hitting Tamper Lad's groin)

Oops. Sorry about that. Not that I think Frio would mind particularly. Besides, shouldn't you be making that offer to Caliente?

Ah it's just the lightheadedness. And regarding the girls, they all tend to feel kinda the same in low light conditions.

EWWW Barbarian drool.


Whoa really lightheaded, Hope Frio didn't hear that.

Double EWWW. Let's hope Hrun doesn't feel like jumping into any closets with you anytime soon.

(suddenly, a particularly large tick jumps on IB's shoulder)

Ah, crap! As if I didn't have enough goo on me already.

LAM remarks: "Get a hold of yourself, Hrun! Tamper Lad has plenty to worry about than your sudden conversion to this unnatural pattern of behaviour"

He strides up to the Barbarian, forcing him to his knees as he places either hand to the inbred oaf's temples. With a perceptible and brief glow, Hrun's temprary mead-induced insanity is but a faded memory.

The Barbarian glares as he brushes away LAM's helping hand:

"Bah! You will not turn me into a snivelling weakling much less diminish my appetites for the comely female form...I may have lost Luna's respect - but if you - any of you plan to tell of my behaviour to the Good and Bright Lady herself, I promise you...you will lose more than Hrun's respect"

His axe swipes at the faintly ozone-rich air and the assemblage steps nimbly out of its deadly path.

"Is that understood"? He mutters, his handsome features contorted with fury.

Without a thought, the group of adventurers nod eagerly...

Whew. Touchy, aren't you?

(blasts at the particularly large tick on his shoulder)

Is it just me, or are the ticks getting larger? And before you, predictably, answer, it is NOT just me.

(blasts at another particularly large tick on his chest, then at another one behind Frio)

And I could swear that it's getting darker in here. Hey, TL, did you do accidentally blot out the light? Or maybe it's just our luck.

(looks up and gasps)

Oh, we are so sprocked. Uh, guys, it looks like the mother of all alien ticks is coming! And it's as big as the sprocking Office of Security!

<arms reaching in the machnine, covered with green slimy Coluan blood, stinking of bug juice and copper oxide>

Ooooo boy, it's stuck. Bloody Nass, I didn't have this much trouble looking for Caliente's... <TL remembered his gentlemanly manners and did not verbalize the word he was thinking of> when we were an item...


<looking up, at the mother of all ticks>
We are so sprocked...

<From behind - A Lun i tick managed to attach itself to the base of TL's skull. His world melted in front of him.>

***** Tamper's interlude ********

When next he was conscious TL was no longer in the tesseract system. He sat upon a throne. Before him was a chamber of unimaginable wealth.

But there was more, not only was it apparent that he ruled this place, it dawned on TL that he WAS this place. His very conciousness was Legion World.

Kneeling, at the foot of his throne were Frio and Caliente evidently property of TL. LAM stood at his left, dressed as a butler. Hrun the barbarian stood guard at the door.

"Wait the tesseract? This can't be real," said TL

"Your Omniscience, I don't follow," said Frio

"Ack Chilly, let me think. This is real, I feel it but it's not my memory. The tick, it's on... tapping on my brainstem."

Raising his Britishizer to the back of his head he fired into the at his brainstem to the horror of Caliente, Frio, LAM and Hrun.

"OH MY GOD, HE'S COMMITTING SUICIDE, stop him the universe can't live without his brain." said Caliente.

**** End Tamper's vision of the perfect alternate reality*****

Disoriented Tamper tried again to reach the release for the data recorder, but the blood again made it too slick.

Come on, Hrun, LAM, let's get this sprocker. If I die, I don't want it to be here.

(IB blasts at the tick's legs while evading the swarms of tick around him)

Hey, Hrun, you'd better hurry and keep up. Just because you kissed TL doesn't mean you can sit there and daydream. Oh, yeah, LAM, Frio, I think one of you should go check up on TL. He's been in there too long, and even though he might have started gushing over that machine it probably wouldn't have taken that long.

<Slip sliding his hands on the controls, the data recorder was finally released
Just then Frio flew through the opening of the maintenance Hatch.>

Frio: Tamper, We're in trouble. We have to go now!

Tamper: All Done, Let's go Chilly

Frio: DON'T CALL ME CHILLY! I've been looking all over for ya.

Frio: CALI!!! I missed ya, been hiding out with the Super-Pets since that creepy stuff about being created.


Tamper: How touching, there's a giant tick coming this way, I'm bleeding profusely from the groin. Can we get on with our escape? Cali some fire, please.

Caliente: Dude, *snerk* it looks totally like that Rigellian STD is flaring up again.

Tamper: HAHA how droll.

<The two friends attacked the giant tick but only managed to draw its attention. In one smooth motion, Caliente was knocked out by the a kick of the tick's insectoid legs.>

Frio: Got ya Cali.

It's no good IB we can't hold it off. I'm gonna have to detonate the revenue collection stations. The space inside the tesseract will osscilate like a spasmodic colon, but I've worked it out. We should arrive back at the Plaza.

Those ticks will be blown into the black hole in the distant sector 1958... of space. Hold on to me Frio, we're too far for IB to put the shield around us.

Stand by Everyone.

<With that TL hit the button activating the first explosion. The tesseract began shaking.>

<IB's bubble containing LAM, and Hrun rode the vibrations and the concussive shockwave effortlessly, as the Ticks were sucked away by powerful gravitational forces. However Tamper Lad and his two companions did not have such an easy time of it.>

Frio: EWWWW, GROSSS!!!!! My costume is white and holding on to your waist has just stained it with your stinky green blood.

Tamper: Hold on Tight.

Frio: TL what about Cali? I can only hold you with one arm.

Tamper: Sprock!!! Forgot about her.

Frio: Figures, you and your complicated plans, never time for Cali... Sprock, you're slimy, my grip is slipping...

Tamper: Got ya... Oops maybe not.

<Tamper tried to hook Frio with his arm but missed managing only to smear a huge streak of green blood on her neck face and hair.>


Frio: *Snerk* figures. S'okay loser, looks like Cali and me'll have to look after each other. *sigh*

<Frio grabbed Cali securely as they were pulled away from the others. >

Caliente: Huh... Frio, boy we've never gotten this close together...

Frio: S'okay Cali, you're slimy green Ex messed up, but I gotcha.

<A moment later they were caught in a collosal spatial distortion wave and dissappeared, from Tamper's frame of reference.>

Tamper: SPROCK IB, they're gone. Compy where are they?

Compy: TL scans indicate that the spatial distortion they passed through ripped them apart. Chance of survival based on scans 0.01%.

Tamper: NOOOOOOO.

<The team emerged at Legion Plaza>

Damn! Figures that something like this would happen. And it figures that the prettiest ones present would be the first to go.

LAM picks up the fading vestiges of life emanting from Frio and Cali. He shudders quietly, trying not to weep as IB rises up in the air, carrying the force field containing him and Hrun.

The Mother-Of-All-Shadows looms over them, completely blotting out the reddening skyscape...

<message to LAM, via omni-com>

LAM, do what you can to preseve whatever essence is left of Frio and Cali. My healing powers might be able to bring them back--they're very spiritual in nature and have not been truly explored yet.

There may still be hope! Get to the command center quick with them!

-Cobie

Are you referring to your healing powers or Frio and Cali?

(still sobbing quietly) LAM responds: Alas, Cobie, if i could retrieve even a speck or an ion of either Caliente or Frio, i do not have access to a holempathic matrix-crystal nor can i preserve their life-essences within a Computo-globe...for if i were to do this and was able to recombine both women within a single entity - my name would either have to be Dr. Frankenstein or Drake Burroughs....

Fear not, the emanations indicate that there might still be hope...

Hey, what's everyone doing in here? <a spastic spatial distortion wave hits TL causing his head to swell>

It's still very dangerous in here.

Hmm. So it is.

You lot may want to be careful.

Can anyone track these "emanations" Cobie's going on about?

Great now Faraway's broken into the archives looking for some data.

I believe that Cobie was babbling about the kids not being dead. However, that's nonsensical wishful thinking on his part. My measuring devices clearly detected them ripped to shreds.

Oh wait I can't explain that...

Can't explain what?

The energy storm heading straight for us...

Oh.

Hang on this could get interesting. Interesting I'm getting two distinct signals in the spectrometer.

One signal contains a peak at 550nm in the visible spectrum (for those pink skinned humanoids at least). While the other signal is centred at 700nm.

<The party is surrounded by the energy storm and is awash in a light show of many arcing energy discharges. True to TL's measurements there is a light show consisting primarily of cyan and red flashes.>

Well, it doesn't seem to be hurting anyone, not that I'm gonna let it touch me.

What else do your instruments say?

<TL scans the energy disturbances as they begin to intensify around him>

Um not much more, except that they seem to be intensifying and actually quite focused...

OWWWWWW....

<the disturbance intensified around TL and began to arc through him into the scanner causing great pain. The energy was seemingly drawn to the scanning device causing it to flash cyan and red as energy seeped into it.>

<As The last of the energy entered the device it literally glowed red and cyan causing TL to drop it as burned his hands>

Well that was a little weird.

Ohmygod!!

How long has it been since anyone like traveled thru these?

There's dust and stuff everywhere...

Nobody, No-One add Jailbait to the current always visible list, Code Alpha, Regales, Omnia… and report…

Nobody: Mistress want to meet daddy where they are or where they will be?

No-One: Better to be where they will be… Enemies are waiting there…

Nobody: But enemies are waiting for them… not for [snicker] “Terrific Trio” [/snicker]…

No-One: No enemies are ready for [snicker] “Terrific Trio” [/snicker]

Oh My God, Brit, do you really have to put up with those two 24/7?

Jailbait Lass: Did you really just say Ohmygod, My? Isn’t that… And I quote “The Dumbest Catch Phrase, EVER!”

Oh… Can it, Lolita…

Hush up you two…

What enemies?

Nobody: Zombies… And Super-Villains…

No-One: And Zombie Super-Villains… And Zombie Squirrels…

Nobody: Zombie Squirrels are the worst…

No-One: They don’t eat Brains…

Squirrels???? We’re supposed to be scared of Zombie Squirrels?

Ohmygod! This trap wasn’t designed for us… It was designed to catch GUYS…

So? What tough guy is gonna be scared of a Zombie Squirrel?

Didn’t you hear what Nobody said? Zombie Squirrels don’t eat brains.

Think for a minute… What do Regular Squirrels eat?

Holy Crap on a Stick! EEWWWWW!!!

**Lolita fingered her forcefield belt as she sized up the Zombie Squirels**

Um, if they're not any danger to us shouldn't we be focusing on the mission? You know Cobalt Kid said it was important.

**at His name, Lolita blushed**

Lolita?!?!

How... What... Holy Crap on a Stick!

<span style="font-size: 20px;">YOU'RE AN ALT!!!!!</span>

<span style="font-size: 20px;">OHMYGOD!!!!</span>

This is so like Great!!! You're an ALT!!!

Now we really are a team...

BUT... 'Lita the Zombie Squirrls aren't here, silly.

They're waiting to trap Mr Hrun and his companions on that Path Thingie...

And we gotta get over there and save them.

How did you get Cobie to finally make you an Alt?

Talk Granny... We have to hear this!

**Lolita backed away from My slowly**

I am... apparently.

**Lo' blushed more**

Sorry Brit, I'm a little disoriented. You know how it is coming from GenCar to Alt.

Wow. I've never been part of a team before, I've only ever worked for Cobalt Kid. How am I doing so far?

You're doing fantastic, for an older girl.

This is so wild... I just got upgraded a few days ago, and now you've joined me and Brit!

How did you get Cobie to do it?

Wait. You think Cobalt did this? No, he's not the one responsible. I'd know if it was him.

This is definitely someone else.

**Lolita frowed slightly**

Hey, who you calling "Granny" and "older"? The name's Jailbait Lass for a reason.

Ohmygod, now you're beginning to sound like the old biddy we know and love...

You're the Granny 'cuz you're older than us. We're both seventeen and you're like a hundred and three or some junk like that... <Ducks>

So if it wasn't Cobie, who was it? Abin?

**Lolita blew a raspberry**

Well, at least I don't look it.

Abin? No, I don't think it was him either. I think he already used up all his alts.

Ohmygod!

We'll like have to figure it out later... Miss Caliente wants us to go find Mr. Hrun, Mr, Rockyhopper and Mr Inquisitor and see whats happened to them on that weird path.

And the boys have discovered that somebody set a trap for them along that path, a trap that includes Zombie Squirrels.

So we're gonna get to the other side of that trap and spring it early...

Okay, I'm sending out a message to Cobalt Kid now to inform him of our progress.

And to warn him against the danger of the Zombie Squirrels, Lolita silently added.

<A portal opens in the side wall of a tesseract. Into that tunnel step Abin Quank, Faraway Lad, and Gary Concord the Ultra Man.>

Okay if I understand Brit's notes, this device will allow us to create a portal back to Legion World where ever we decide to place it.

And using the viewing windows <A section of wall slides back at Abin's command> we should be able to find the Faces and get the drop on them.

Or so they THINK! I have control of the tesseract system--as I am slowly gaining control of ALL of Legion World's technology! These fools have walked into a trap!

There's something wrong in here Quank.

The Magnetic Fields don't align properly...

Everything is 90 degrees out of phase...

It's almost like we're on a different planet.

Yeah, Cobie said he felt that too and he's spent a lot of time with Stoopid Cat trying to understand where the tesseracts actually exist.

I think they decided that we're in between dimensions when we're inside the tesseracts.

Thats why I can do things like this...

<A Viewing Window opens, showing a fairy tale city made of ice.>

<suddenly, the tesseract system fills with thousands of mechanopods, insect-like non-metallic robots with laser vision and razor-sharp teeth>

<the mechanopods surround Abin, Gary and Faraway>

That should distrct them for a while! Meanwhile, in a matter of minutes, I will collapse the tesseract system, crushing them all in the process! And Quank's lantern power and Concord's magnetism will prove useless, as will Faraway Lad's power, as it is negated here between dimensions!

Oh-Ho, Somebody's Megalomaniac Training is kicking in...

<Touches a control and a side portal opens...>

Quick, in here you two...

<The three step into the side passage. and a second portal opens. The mechanopods are shoved into the second portal by a sudden constricting of the first tunnel.>

That portal leads to the loading rack for Mearl Dox's Sun Cannon. It's still set on automatic fire and while those mechanopods don't look much like care bears... *Shrugs* ...They'll be shot into the sun, anyway.

“Damn it I hate those things” say Far as he crushes a lone surviving mechanopods under his boot, “they remind me to much of those Luna Ticks that infested the system a while back.”

Looking around Far says “Hey Abin where are we I don’t think I have ever seen this part of the system before, it looks different”

Indeed this part of the tesseract system was markedly different to the normal brightly lit clean neat corridors in normal use.

These corridors were decorated with rich furs and hangings, Candles lit the walls and the floor was cover in rushes.

These Tesseracts were discovered by Stoopid Cat but he didn't build them.

He and Hrun spent a lot of time in here... Look There...

<In an alcove off the main corridor is a large cat box, richly decorated.>

He told me once that he would sometimes meet himself coming back from wherever he was going because, in here, time is variable.

Does that mean you can use these tesseracts to travel through time?

Yes, but it's dangerous and uncertain. Place to place is easy... just choose the location through the viewing windows.

Forwards or backwards in time? Now you have to move up or down through the various levels and if you pick the wrong stairwell... Bad Things, Concord, Bad Things!

Yes I'm positive that you would classify the possibilities that this place embodies as "Bad Things."

This is incredible... The possibilities...

"Never mind all that you two, we have a job to do remember.

Now I suppose all i need to do is open this door and......"


"No Faraway" shouts Abin "dont do that or......"

but its too late Faraway has opened a portal and a howling gale rushes through, dragging all three off their feet and sucking them through the portal they fall through space and land with a squelch in…..

A field littered with dead zombies...

here...

<Concord sits in a small alcove off of one of the main tesseract branches. One wall is covered with viewing windows, scenes from the Security Office, Lardy's Lair, Rockhopper's Rookery, Shakes, Cafe Cramer, and anywhere else on LW that interest him can be called up with the merest whim.>

That fool Quank, and the insufferable Faraway Lad, will regret the day they introduced me to these tesseracts. Those idiots left these to the whims of their cat!

<Numbnuts appears within the tesseracts in a different passage far from Gary Concord...>

here. The starts path

end. needed to magic The is open a door on the

<appears via the Tesseracts, following Numbnuts>

Now this is something I can wrap my head around. I worked with Stoopid Cat at length protecting Legion World with the Tesseracts. He even helped me install several that led from my office to...some more lurid, yet enjoyable, parts of town.

The others will be joining shortly. Numbnuts, lead on! I think I'm even starting to understand you.

You. never But, I may understand

Section. hurry your friends must before I seal off this

soon. evil one after us will be The

first! Banned'em Zone We must reach the

The Banned'em Zone...damn, no good can come of this...

They're coming throw now, Numby.

(Heh, once you get his lingo its not too bad. Probably I won't be able to understand anyone else now though :rolleyes: )

<security office alarm going off on secret omni-com>

Looks like we have company coming. The gen-car security officers are keeping me in the loop out of old loyalties...but I doubt the actual high-ranking security officers will do the same...

Do. talk the way you I could

myself. then but I understand couldn't

hurry. friends your Tell to

comes. wicked Something else else way this

"What's so dangerous about the Zone, Cobie?"

ZZt zzt
..
ZZt zzt
..
zzt zzt

Hmmm. The Giant just tried to make contact.

<Lardy and Rocky arrive behind YK> We're all here, Numbnuts! What's next?!?!

<follows Numbnuts>

Lead on, oh odd one. I've met Bast before and at least she was always a little more clear.

At the end of the Tesseract, we should be able to find the Banned'em Zone, which is where STU has often retreated to. But I'm pretty sure he's not there now...

<looks at omni-com, going crazy with news>

And we need to get to other things soon. We'll have company, and we can't let them slow us down here or in finding Exnihil. I think I know where he's going anyway...

<Points to an apparently long unused corridor/tunnel. It is roughly carved out of apparently solid rock and supported by old style mining timbers. A variety of noxious odors are suddenly noticeable, the least of which make Lardy's frequent emissions smell like spring flowers...>

door. Many miles down tunnel that is magically a sealed

<Pats STU's book of spells.>

here. spell open that The to door here is hidden in

door. Pagan Cat and captives are Stoopid Lass behind that

defeated! captor Their must be

Well...here we go. Let's have Rocky use his magic, using Stu's spellbook, and Lardy & Cobie can provide some support.

And then it appears we'll have a real fight ahead of us...<looks back>...if not behind us soon enough...

Stu's book is huge and might take forever to get through. That is, if he wasn't one of my closest friends and allies. Rocky, if you're looking for a spell to use to open the Banned'em Zone, simply look under "free Pam".

<getting antsy>

There a toilet here somewhere?

I think Rocky is just getting himself prepped for the spell. I'm almost positive the 'Free Pam' spell is the one, knowing Stu.

So easy there, big guy...

<eyes Jailbait Lass, thinking of that kiss>

You too, Lolita. <holds her hand> We'll talk when this is all over, I promise.

<after relieving himself, takes Cobalt aside>

Hopefully, it won't be long now, but...er, how are things between you and Crujeckie, eh, there, Des?

Well Lardy...they're actually really great. So I don't know what I'm going to do. Trouble with ladies has always been par for the course for me, but I'm out of practice.

I love Lolita...but I do I love her like she loves me? I don't know. I love Crujeckie. I don't want to lose Lolita as a friend, and well, a companion. We're together basically everyday.

Damn these dashing good looks.

<eyes Lardy>

Okay, just kidding, I had to say that though

I'm going to have to think this through and when this crisis ends make sure things are right. I can't lead Lolita on. I need to make a decision.

<Rocky sits cross-legged in front of Stu's book. He hesitates. He really doesn't know that much about magic, other than the limited amount he uses for his ice powers. He is uncomfortable with this. He can rationalize this breech of his society's protocol, but it still weighs on him. On the other hand, he understands his duty. He motions for Jailbait Lass, Lard Lad and Cobalt Kid to come closer. He stands. He hands Jailbait Lass the book which she holds open to the appropriate page. Lard Lad and Cobalt Kid both place a hand on Rocky's shoulders, one to his left and one to his right. Rocky speaks the words of the spell in the book. There is a flash of light.>

<Brings a hand down on Rocky's shoulder just hard enough to break his concentration...>

Yet! Wait not close enough we are yet

<Flying ahead of his group the Ranger sees The other group just as Numbnuts breaks Rocky's concentration.>

One Chance...

<He instantly accelerates and hits them before any of them realize he's there. His first punch takes out LardLad. He feels Lardys jaw break as he follows thru and grabs Cobalt and Yellow Kid by their shirt fronts, one in each hand, and shakes them both violently, before throwing them in opposite directions...>


Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Gotta end this quickly...)

<span style="font-size: 30px;">ENOUGH!</span>

<His eyes glow with an electric nlue light and tendrils of mystic energy reach out from his aura to ensnare everyone in both groups.>

The time for your foolish and petty rivalries is PAST!

It would be better had I found STU! He alone could have easily accomplished the task I must now entrust to your lesser abilities.

<His hands wave and they are transported through the tesseracts to the closed and locked door to the Banned'em Zone...>

<dazed> Mwarr! Shugger punjjd!*

<charges himself up with Lard Force>

Um gawwn gejja furzat Ranzzher!**

<slams Ranger full bore from behind>

<disappears right after counter-attack along with the rest>


Translation:
*Arrrgh! Sucker punched!
**I'm Gonna get you for that, Ranger!

A wind howls through the corridors building pressure until - FLASH!

A group of brightly clad heroes stand together back to back prepared for battle.

<arrives from battle with DARK LARD >

Crap! I hope this place is as safe for us as you think, YK! <lies down>

Best thing I could think of in a hurry. Bending space and time is a chore at the best of times and when you have a convoluted space like this one the time coordinates have to be pretty strictly controlled.

Of course the problem with that is there could be a lot of things happening around us that happened in different timelines but still converge here because this place is so stable.

Let's get everybody into one of these side rooms.

<materializes behind Dark Lard. With great effort and concentration, makes hand temporarily solid enough for the Dark Lard to feel touch on his shoulder>

Dark One, I mean you no harm But you must tell me all you can of the one called Phineas.

<Dark Lard instinctively attacks, but his attack goes right through her. Out of frustration, he tries every power at his disposal to no avail>

You cannot harm me, Dark One. I have been harmed as much as anyone can. I am beyond harm, and beyond ability to harm.

Please.

Tell me of the one called Phineas.

<pops up out of the ground.

well, this is a revolting development. I was visiting my dear friend Mary and I was compelled to burrow over here.

Eventually friends, we are going to have to stay and fight the Dark Lard, as well as this Phineas B. Fuddle. Coming here was a good idea, as anyway we can pick the battlegrounds would be of great value.

<wipes off muck from tunic>

Perchance an alert of when you are teleporting us next time?

You got it Roy. Being on the run really pisses me off, we're going to have to take these guys down but we can't do it without a plan.

A few possibilities come to mind. Is there a tesseract that leads to Superboy's Pocket Universe? If we can involve PC Superboy we may be able to pit the Time Trapper against Phineas. Just an idea. Another one, is there a doorway that can take us to LW's first few days? Someplace (or time) where we could set a temporal stasis field trap?

I've never explored a lot of these places here, can it be reactivated as War World? What would happen if we simply let Phineas win and open the portal to the Banned'em Zone and Force Phineas and Daywalker to confront each other?

I'm just thinking out loud here.

Would someone mind telling me who this Phineas fellow is? And make it snappy. I have a dinner date.

**Meow**

Which one of you humans thinks he's in charge of this party?

Where and when do you want to go? You tell me and I lead you there...

**Meow**

Lardy?
It's your baby now Mr. Duly Elected Leader Man.

Hmmm...before we mobilize any huge strike force, we need to let Pagan, Des and the rest finish their business.

Meanwhile, YK...I suggest you let Stoopid Cat guide you through the Tesseracts nooks and crannies. If you have an idea how to counteract Phineas with some time travel of your own, there's absolutely NO one who knows these Tesseracts like SC! I'm not a great four-dimensional thinker, so I have to trust your instincts there.

As for me, I may need to accompany Naked Mole Rat on his date...I sensed something earlier just before DARK LARD attacked me, and I suspect his date might be a major anomaly here.....

"Ok, kitty. Looks like it's you and me on recon. If we get out of this alive and in one piece (one that I recognize that is) I'll buy you all the cream you can lap up at Shakes when we get back."

He reaches into a pouch and removes a scanner. He taps out a sequence of keys and pauses for a moment, looks around and taps a few more keys.

"There." Looks at the cat, "It's a temporal scanner. I just set us a baseline 'here and now' so we can find our way back if things go wrong."

Settling the scanner back in his pouch he takes a deep breath.

"Let's go watch Lightning Lad and Nightcrawler make this place."

<A door opens in a side tunnel near where the LMBPers are huddled.>

I thought I'd find you guys here...

Stoopid! What are you doing? Take YK to the nearest view center and show...

<Watches in disgust as Stoopid Cat leaps up onto a ledge and curls up facing away from him>

Never mind...

Yellow, come with me.

<Abin grabs a silver bar from the ledge next to Stoopid Cat and walks a short distance down the corridor>

See these notches? <Points with the bar to an indentation in the wall at approximately eye level> They're the markers for view ports... <He inserts the silver rod into the hole and a section of the tunnel wall becomes transparent. On the other side is the back room at SHAKES. The android Troy is cataloging and restocking shelves.>

These viewports are all over Legion World... On this level they show and open into what we consider the present...

But <Abin turns and points to a stairwell that neither Yellow or Lardy noticed a moment ago...> if you go up the stairs you go into the "Future" and down the stairs leads to the "Past."

Nobody knows how far the stairs go in either direction...

**Meow**

You finished showing off how much you don't know Abin?

<Leaps down from the ledge and struts past YK>

Grab the control rod and follow me, Yellow Kid. You said you want to see Lightning Lad and Nightcrawler creating this place? That's eight and a half floors down...

**Meow**

"Yes I do."

Taking out his Omni-Com the Kid punches up Triple G's code.
"Bob! I need you in the tesseract. Bring the boys and hustle!"

A strange voice answered YK's summons "Yellow Kid? I thought you were still in prison. Is this a prank? What do you want with gay Bob?"

Puzzled he asks, "Uh, who is this?"

"You know damned well who I am old man. MetroMicro-Man sent your ass to jail before and if you busted out I'll do it again."

"Damn." Yk closes the comm and turns back to the others. "He's done something to the PCG. That wasn't the Giant. We'd better get on with this cat. Lead the way."

<sigh>

This is taking longer than I hoped. I better call Mary at the Library.

Down, step, step, step, step, step, step, step, step, step, step, step, step,

down step, step, step, step, step, step, step, step, step, step, step, step,

down step, step, step, step, step, step,
"Hey, Action-Adventure Man. I remember him."

The cat rolls it's eyes :rolleyes:
"I thought you were one of the smart ones."

"Huh?"

"Humans. Keep moving."

Down down down.

**Meow**

Okay we're here... That viewing window will let you witness the birth of Legion World...

Just a word of caution... the images are... Intense!

**Meow**

In the distance a tiny bright spark is moving. Moving closer to the observers it appears to grow in size, larger and ever larger. Now revealed to be a giant sphere bristling with weaponry and wrapped in unknown technology the sphere continues to grow as it approaches the watchers.

Waves of energy ripple across it's surface, the weaponry begins to withdraw from sight as they watch. Dragging along in the wake of the sphere, almost like the tail of a comet, a string of metal ore asteroids trails out behind it marking the path of it's long journey.

Together the two observers watch as the enormous sphere begins a slow rotation and settles itself into orbit around the ancient home world of Terra. The trailing asteroids following the laws of inertia begin to impact the sphere ripping across the surface creating immense fires, debris scattering in every direction. The newly orbiting sphere is devoured in flame and destruction as thousands of meteors large and small crash to the surface.

"Holy.."

Rising from the surface of the planet circling far below, a group of brightly clad humans attack the swarm of meteors that missed the sphere and speed their way toward Earth. Together they swarm the falling rocks and using a variety of super powers combat this threat to their home.
Magnetism sends then careening off in new directions, bursts of magic disintegrate many, psionic force shatters a number of the stone and ice engines of deadly destruction, a great number of them fall into warp zones to disappear.
A few of the smaller balls of ice and rock are missed and get through the swarm of heroes.

Every LMBer pushes himself (or herself) to the very limits of their power. Some are struck by fragments, the chaos is horrible to behold. On the surface of the planet below the heroes that do not fly are pushed just as far as they spend every bit of power and energy rescuing people from the destruction that's raining down on Earth. A powerful figure races through the water moving ships away from the impact sites, a cat like creature searches through the rubble of homes for survivors.

The awesome spectacle of the birth of Legion World unfolds before them.

Golly! This is truly spectacular! You need who would really appreciate this? Mary Hatch the librarian! I've got to get her and bring her here!

<burrow>

The rain of debris continues for days. Exhausted Legionnaires are beginning to make terrible mistakes. Dev Em struck by a kryptonite fragment was last seen falling back to the planet in a fiery blaze, the Crusader suffering from broken ribs and a shattered arm continued to fight through the pain his concentration fading as the loss of blood takes it's toll, Lash Lad grimly fights on shattering large rocks with his powerful energy whip. A powerful wave of energy washes over a large area as Sketch Lad uses his creative force to instantly clear square miles of debris. Cobalt Kid, Lard Lad, Princess Crujectra and EDE continue to lead the battle against this juggernaut of nature.

Deep within the structure now identified as the ancient construction know as War World two figures appear in a flash of smoke and a stink of brimstone. One hand held high, electricity crackling from his fingertips Lightning lad lights the immediate area showing his companion, a hunched over figure nearly invisible in the darkness that surrounds them.

Following maps they'd secured from the old Fortress of Solitude the two men begin to weave their way through the mountainous machinery inside the moon sized machine.

"We're almost there Scott." whispered Nightcrawler.

"Why are you whispering?"

"I don't know. It seemed appropriate."

Together they approach an intersection where the walls seem to climb for miles above them. Scotty points the way toward their goal. As they turn the corner he stops and yells, "Get back!" as a lightning bolt strikes.
"Validus! NO!"

LL dives across the open intersection as another bolt strikes, the power leaping from wall to wall. He throws a bolt of his own at the mindless giant forcing Validus to counter with yet another bolt.

Nightcrawler disappears in a flash and a cloud of smoke, reappearing atop the monster's shoulders. He furiously beats at the casing covering the giant brain of the huge figure. A blast of green energy strikes and throws him from his perch.
-bamf-
He reappears, strikes the floor and launches himself at the Emerald Empress -bamf- missing the Empress he grabs for the eye -bamf- reappears above the surface and lets it go -bamf-

Scott throws lightning wildly at the giant as a skulking figure, sneaks up behind him reaching out with one hand. NC appears behind Mano, grabs him behind his breathing mask and with a deft flip launches the hapless villain at the enormous figure of Validus.

"NOOooo!!" Mano screams as he crashes into the monster and they both erupt in a titanic explosion.

The Empress screams at the dark figure and attacks furiously showing a level of speed and skill previously unchronicled. Nightcrawler leaps and spins evading her enraged assault striking and dodging he works her into a trap -bamf-

Lightning Lad strikes her down with a highly juiced bolt. She crumbles to the floor smoking from the intensity of the energy that felled her.

One remains. Stepping out of the shadows a half-robot half-man glares at the two men, he smiles as an energy net drops over the two.

"Aaarrrgg!"

Surrounded by the force of the net, grimmacing with pain the two watch as Tharok approaches. Scott reaches out and grabs the energy beams with his bare hands and forces lightning through the system. With a flash the net explodes into a sparkling wave of disconnected energy nodes. Nightcrawler leaps, flips and turns in a single smooth motion, he reaches into the half man's chest and rips loose the power source of his robot half.

The rogue freezes in his tracks glaring daggers at his opponents.

"GO!"

The two heroes race past the now static figure toward the control room. Unseen by the pair of heroes, the beaten villains left behind them disintegrate in a burst of digital static and fade away.

Above the surface the rain of asteroids begins to diminish. The exhausted heroes of the LMBP fight grimly onward to keep any more from making it through to endanger the planet below.

-this might be a bit more accurate if I were to go dig through my comic boxes for reference material but what the hey Tally-Ho!-
________________________________________________

They stand before a door the reaches higher and wider than the light, stretching into the infinity of the darkness. Barely seen by them are three more figures dressed much more brightly and colorfully than the apparitions they'd fought minutes ago.

Kal El, the best known of the historic Kryptonian heroes steps out of shadow and raises a hand, "What's your business here?"

Moving silently out from those shadows to stand beside him is the infamous urban legend know as Batman and on the other side the two men recognize the famous Queen Diana, ruler of the Amazonian Free State.

Lightning Lad's eyes widen at the sight of this famous trio of heroes.

"I've got this." Nightcrawler says to his companion. "Justice League of America zero two code one nine three nine action one."

The immense doors slide away from each other opening the way into the control room to the gargantuan machinery that powers and controls War World.

"How did you know that?"

Nightcrawler smiles at his friend for the first time, "I did my homework."

Above the surface the battered super heroes are winding down from their titanic effort to save their home on Earth from the battering of the meteor swarm that had followed the titanic artificial world from it's last location. Weary and torn several of the LMBP super men assist their fellows to the medical transport ships that now orbited along side them.

A great deal of the deflected and shattered debris stretches out along the path of the new orbit of the artificial moon now in orbit around the earth. For the first time in recorded memory the planet has a ring..and two moons. No, make that three moons as War World seems to have a small moon of it's own in a geosynchronous orbit above it.

The defenders that are still whole and healthy (though exhausted) fly downward toward the surface of the invading giant. Their recent exertions and the bombardment of the artifact by the trail of rock provides a layer of dust and rock across a huge portion of it's surface.

Princess Crujectra staggers as the surface moves beneath her feet. The whole surface seems to be retracting, folding in on itself to reveal a layer of real dirt and the remaining structures of a long past civilization.
__________________

"What's that? We never had a moon."

"That's your anomaly Kid."

YK brings out his temporal scanner and sets it to act as a beacon, a temporal galactic positioning device.

"Tell me kitty, is it possible to set this physically into the scene?"

**Meow**

Take the control rod and stick it in the notch. Then rotate it to the right, a door will open...

You've got about five minutes before the door closes.

When the door closes you're history. <Silent Cat Laughter>

**Meow**

<upstairs, DARK LARD appears in front of Lard Lad, having 'ported in from The Orrery >

Ha-HAAA! Are you prepared to die now, weakling?

<fires blast at Lardy>

<'ports out of way just in time>

<thinks on his feet, knowing he's going to have to buy YK and Stoopid Cat some time>

I see you're all about the brute force, now, Darky...once upon a time we had some style!

<starts to fire another blast, then hesitates as Lardy's words get through> What do you mean, weakling?

What? You don't remember how we would settle differences in the Lard Monastery? Remember who left there undefeated?

<remembers, smiles> Ah, yes...our swords! It would give me pleasure beyond words to prove myself my own better! Let's up the ante a bit...<produces a sword in his hand made of purple Lard Force>

<notices Sir Roy moving in, waves him off>

<whispers to Roy> No! If he feels he hasn't the edge, he'll bring his full power to bear on us--we need to give the others time! Stay back!

<concentrates and produces his own Lard Force sword of blue>

<lunges at Lardy>

I'm your superior in EVERY way!!!

<blocks the blow, just barely>

<thinks> Crap! This ain't lookin' like much of an improvement!

<backs up as DARK LARD stays on the offensive and presses his advantage>

HA-ha-HAAAA!!!

<delighting in his advantage, DARK LARD delivers devastating blow after blow, each just barely dodged or blocked by Lardy>

I'm so glad you suggested this! Cutting your fool head off will be such a pleasure!!!

<watches on relunctantly>

Alright Lard Lad, I shall play this your way...

<eyes Yellow Kid and Stoopid Cat, hoping they have enough time>

<as he continues retreating, they pass by time window after time window>

<notices one in particular, his own fateful duel with Damyen Hrykos >

<glimpses himself beheading Hrykos and all of his stolen power rushing back into him>

[i]Gods--I look like DARK LARD, there![/url] NOO!

<ducks a blow intended by DL to behead>

<kicks DL in the chest and takes the offensive>

I guess you're right, Darky! You have nothing to fear by killing me because I'll never let myself become YOU!!!!

Heh. <blocks Lardy's blows> Oh, you're more like me than you could ever imagine--making all of the same mistakes! Tell me...have you opened your heart since Dru died? Have you let yourself make the move that your entire being longs for? Or are you too afraid what others will think and what that would mean to your fragile sense of self?!?!

<takes back the offensive as Lardy falters at his words>

<Lardy's parries become weaker and weaker as doubt sets in>

You n-never told--?

No, you DIDN'T!!! Who knows how things might have gone differently if you had! <eyes gow bright purple> It was your pride, your doubt, your INDECISION that made me!!! Now, all that's left is pure WRATH--and it's time you tasted it!!!

<DARK LARD slices off Lardy's right hand, the one that holds the sword>

AAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!

<slumps to the ground>

<laughs>

Any last words before I relieve you of your fool head?

<blasts Roy back before he can interfere>

<manages a smile before responding>

Yeah...at least I won't ever be someone's tool!

Tool? You are deluded! I am--!

...a TOOL! Of Phineas B. Fuddle! C'MON--you're doing exactly what he wants you to! Don't you remember how he operates? One thing I know about you--you've NEVER been the subserviant type! And if I were to be a bad-ass villain, I wouldn't be anyone's @#$%ing FLUNKY! Can't you see? Were there moments you wanted to tear his throat out and something stopped you? And why the hell do you think you're in the past in the first place? You think it was YOUR idea? That's not your style!

Now go ahead...tool...and get it over with, so you can fulfill your Tool Destiny!

<raises sword, hesitates>

No....NO! That bastard DARES manipulate DARK LARD?!?! I'll KILL HIM!!!

<'ports out>

Well...*unh*...that went well...I hope YK and Stoopid Cat are makin' progress...

<wraps wrist in some of his torn clothes, puts his severed hand in the Tesseract's beer cooler>

M-maybe we'll have time to re-attach it later...but we've got work to do!

<goes to Sir Roy where he'd been struck down>

What say, Roy? You alright? R-ready to kick some B-Fuddle booty?

I'm alright, Lard Lad, but tis you I worry about.

<nods towards Lardy's bloody stump, while rubbing his own hand>

'Tis no ordinary wound, and you must be in tremendous pain.

I know you want to end this, and we all do...but you need medical attention. Or at least call your ally, Cobalt Kid to use his healing on you. Though I hardly think he can reattach a limb.

Roy, the wound was cauterized by the Lard Force--I'll be alright. But we do need to find Des for the final strike!

<brings out Omnicom>

*Moving through Legion World fro...veryday Girl and Naked Mole Rat Lad*

Lardy, we're here! And I've put out the message for the others to join us. We had a whole assemblage before, but we were side-tracked...

<notices Lardy's dimembered hand>

Lardy, bloody liberty! Are you alright?

<runs over, and immediately fires up healing power>

Your hand! Oh no...

It-it's just a scratch, Des. Just...don't be asking me for a hand any time soon! <grins> Ran into a DARK LARD...he may end up helping us out--kinda like the eenmy of our enemy and stuff, ya know?

I guess...though that never works out as well we hope it does, if memory serves me right. Speaking of which, you'll never guess what I've been through, and what "memory" might mean these days.

So much of what Phineas is doing to attack us has already been done. Alterations to the time stream!

<looks at Mary, Everyday Girl and Naked Mole Rat Lad>

That there is Mary Hatch, and you probably never heard of her...

<looks at Lardy>

You're acting as if none of this is surprising? Maybe we should quickly explain ourselves.

<Cobalt tells Lardy as fast as possible everything that happened at the Rookery and then the Library, all the while having a sneaking suspicion that Lardy isn't surprised in the least; meanwhile, he can't help but fear for his friend's health after his disfigurement>

<holds onto Cobalt's arm and nods towards Lardy>

H-hello.

I understand you're the new LMBP Leader.

<can't take eyes away from his hand; she's never seen anything like that before>

I believe...I believe I've found the way you all can enter Phineas B. Fuddle's Orrery. I know several of you have seen it, but cannot remain there for very long because of his control over space and time. But I believe there is a way around that.

Sounds good...but we need a few more bodies before we can go. <looks worriedly for Rocky, especially> On the other hand, we can't wait much longer.

Listen, to everyone who's unaware, I'm immune to everything that Phineas is doing. That's why this happened! <holds up stump where right hand was> He's been sending DARK LARD to assassinate me because he can't do anything to me himself! Wherever this entrance is, I can get us through it if Phineas has any protection on it.

(Jeepers! What have I gotten myself into? I don't like the way Cobaltus was speaking to Mary back in the library one bit! I should give him a piece of my mind <sigh> Oh, let's face it. You're just a naked mole rat, not a ferocious tiger or something equally scary and aquatic)

Um, excuse me, Mr. Lard Lad leader, but do you think this is going to take very long? I was hoping to make Mary Hatch the Librarian a nice home cooked meal.

(and to get her as far away from Cobaltus as possible. I don't like how she's holding his arm.)

Mole Rat...I suspect you've a major role to play before this is over...(and I know which of my friends you've replaced in history). As soon as Rocky and Tim arrive, we'll be ready to go...

hmmm ... well, alright. But, I do hope I get home in time to watch Jay Leno. He's just the funniest!.

Leno? (Brr! I have a feeling Sharky wouldn't be caught DEAD watching Leno...)

Okay Leader Man, what's left of the Quank Family is here. We're ready when you are.

<looks at Mole Rat and Mary>

(They seem so out of place here, yet I know simply that its essential they're here. Time to trust Lardy)

Mary, I think its time you opened that locket.

Yeah, let's see what's in there...

Why yes, Leno of course! Mary and I have discussed many times how David Letterman is just too raunchy. Right, Mary?

<Mary continues to cling to Cobalt Kid, bringing great anguish to NMR Lad's wrinkly little heart>

<sigh>

So, what is our plan anyway? I'm not really sure how useful I can be.

Okay, Cobalt...Cobie.

<opens the locket up, and that cold feeling immediately goes red hot>

Who...?

<and suddenly My Wee Fem appears in a tiny, miniaturized form! Like No One and Nobody, she is a kack!>

<span style="font-size: 8px;">Mary! Its about time! I thought you'd never figure it out!</span>

Ohmygod! It's... Her... I think!

<span style="font-size: 8px;">My! My! My! Ha-Ha! Whee Whee Whee She's got blades! We want Blades!</span>

Shut up you two!

My... Is that really you?

<Nobody and No One swing down to Naked Mole Rat Lad's side as Brit starts talking to My and Mary>

<span style="font-size: 8px;">Moley! Moley's here! Moley you can be useful just do what you do best! That's what we do!</span>

Okay...

<sees Tim and Rocky and Hyvvie enter>

...now that we have MY back and Rocky's gang here, we only need to figure out what YK and Stoopid Cat are up to. Do we leave them here to continue what they are doing or wait for them to finish and take them with us?

<span style="font-size: 8px;">Of course its me, Brit! I know things are screwed up, but you didn't really think I'd abandon you, did you? You and Mary need to get it together now. So the real Terrific Trio can live again! *Groan* I hate that name.</span>

You're the voice I heard before? This is all so confusing! But I feel so much better that you're here, My.

Um, well, thanks little fellas. (I never thought I would call someone else 'little') Maybe I can be useful here. Maybe I can even be a hero!

<looks hopefully over at Mary, but she still clings to Cobalt>

<sigh>

Like how can we be the Terrific Trio if you're a Cack and Lo... um... I mean... Holly's not here?

<sees the way Mole Rat Lad is looking at Mary and Cobalt, and feels guilty. But it must be a part of this changed timeline>

Between Mary's coordinates and Moley's power, we should be able to get to the Orrery.

I say we take Stoopid Cat and Yellow Kid with us. And leave open the trail from Moley's tunnel so anyone else can follow. If need be, Stoopid Cat or the Kacks can give them a bit of a ride to get there.

In the meantime, we need to end this now.

<looks at Lardy>

You've seen your greatest fear, Lardy. What you could become if you went the wrong way. Now show us the you that goes the other way. Show us our 'big gun'.

<looks to Everyday Girl, and is happy to see her with My Wee Fem; in fact, he recalls other things from a the real timeline, and looks to Abin>

I think Abin, when things are fixed...someone that isn't here with us now will reappear. And it will feel damn good...

<span style="font-size: 8px;">You're already a hhero Moley! You dug the tunnel that let us see what that fruitcake guy was up to! We couldn't have done that without you Moley!

Yeah and now we're gonns knock the bats outa his belfry... and you can help! Maybe tunnel up behind him and bite his ankle or something...</span>

I don't know who Holly Honey is, Britney, but My kept referring to me as Lolita before. And that's what Cobie called me.

Maybe...maybe you and I are good friends in this other lifetime? And My too? Stranger things have happened.

<and suddenly, Mary realizes Moley is there too, and she feels guilty; she walks over to him>

Oh Moley, I'm so sorry. I just think...I've found my real true love. But you...you've always been my protector. And I thank you for that.

<she hugs him>

<smiles at Cobalt> Well, if nothing else, DARK LARD had two hands! <holds up right stump and laughs> (Actually, if we survive this, everyone remember my severed hand's in the Tesseract beer cooler!)

<senses something> Phineas is making his move people! There's no more time--Legion World is dying! Abin, leave a trail for Cat and YK (and anyone else)--we gotta go now! Now, how do we get to the Orrery?

Cobaltus, If I could have one conversation with you that didn't include one of your "Mystery Statements" I'd be a happy man.

Follow these two kacks, who will be following Moley's trail, and it should lead us right to here!

Now Moley, you must use these exact coordinates. If you linger off the bearing, we may end up in another time, or some other place.

Phineas has a shield up that is impenetrable. But with these coordinates and your powers--we can do it.

<kisses him on the cheek>

Good luck!

In one of these timelines, we must be friends.

Maybe in that one I'll hold off on mystery statements...

Let me elucidate for ya, Abin--if we win the day, we get Bart back! In the true timeline he came back!

Now, let's get him and our real lives back! To the Orrery!!!

Lead the way, Moley!

Okay Mary, or Lolita, I think you know how to use this... <tosses Lo Tamper Lad's old force-field belt>

Gosh! You guys are the best! Maybe when this is over, you can come over for some feces and tubers! I'll use my mother's secret recipe!

<blushes uncontrollably>

Golly, Mary! Okay, I'll do it. Stand back everybody! I'm going to burrow like I've never burrowed before, and then ... then we nail that mother-sprocker!

(Jeepers! Did I really just say that?)

<BURROW>

<looks into Moley's tunnel>

<grins> All hands into the breach! <leaps in after Moley>

I think I we're getting close. I can sense something ... there's something evil just up ahead.

Yeah, I can sense the foul stench of chronal energies being corrupted! (Did I really just say that?!?!)

No sense in us crawling...

Swan boats!

A trio of boats appears floating a few inches off of the tunnel floor.

"Ride in style people..."

Alright then, ramming speed it is!

<as everyone piles into boats, Cobalt helps Mary into one of them and follows>

As soon as we get there, I'll hit the airways, and stay on the high ground. We'll cluster him from all angles for confusion purposes.

Then its your game plan, boss man.

Ring! Reinforce the walls of the tunnel and project a shield in front of Moley when he breaks thru...

Alright, everybody this is it.

<BURROW>

We're through ... we're in the ...

Watching the entrance for any sign of their prey the Orange Extremists wait for their antagonist.

"There!" shouts Eando.

Instantly heavy weapons fire erupts at the saffron colored figure that had just appeared.

"Move In!"{ Micro-Man shouts to the crew. Like a smoothly run unit the bikers assault the doorway ripping and out tearing pieces of the walls they cover the area to deadly effect.

He's not there. The gang spreads out to search for the enemy covering each side passage and entrance. They comb the nearby rooms when one of them shouts, "Over here! A tunnel!"

They rush to the side of their comerade as he fires a burst down the length of the hole.

Micro-Man shouts, "Get your bikes! Go!"

In a moment they're roaring down the tunnel in hot pursuit of YK.

"Let's go cat. Climb on."
Glowing with Spin Power YK quickly ramps up the energy and disappears in a *flash* of blinding light.

He reappears at the entrance to the Tesseract expecting to see his fellow super heroes. That's not what happens.

Instantly recognizing the muzzles of a dozen projectile weapons trained on the doorway, he dives low and rolls away from a burst of auto-cannon fire that slams into the wall where he had just appearded. Scrambling around a corner the automatic weapons pepper the walls spraying the area with shrapnel.

"What the hell is going on out there?"

His questions are answered by another burst of weapons fire. "Move In!!"

Yellow crawls into a tunnel branching off the hallway (it looks familiar). Hidden from view he crawls through the tunnel hoping it branches or ends before his assailants find it.

The tunnel is taking too long, he hears the sound of the guys after him when they shout out that they've found his escape route. Using the power to force himself to fly in a cramped space he shoots through the underground passage at breakneck speed.

He dodges and twists his way through the length until at last he slams full force into a right angle turn he hadn't forseen. *SLAM*

!&**#**!!

Stunned by the impact, rattled and confused he hears Lard Lad's battle cry as the LMBers charge to the attack.
"Wha..? "

Lifting himself up, leaning against the walls he sees the group charge onto the Orrery, "Ok, suck it up." He summons the power.

In the distance the sounds of the speeder bikes roars and rumbles up the length of the tunnel. Angry shouting voices echo.

Charging through the tunnel's end he dives to one side and looks up to take stock of the situation.