Because you know you did. Everyone did.

I think I poached a parking spot from him at the Mall one Christmas Eve.

I'm surprised Mayavale himself didn't start this thread.

I sent Nancy Reagan after his huffin' ass!

I always suspected you were a fan of the "Just Say No!" campaign, LYL.

I thought about telling Ike that Dr. Mayavale didn't really care for him all that much. But in the end, I couldn't go through with it.

I farted in the elevator as I left and he had 14 more floors to ride up.

I went 'Foe' on one of the most heated games of the Game Show Network of Space's "Friend or Foe" program.

Which, oddly enough, caused him to go all foe on the Legion. Whoops.

I convinced him to try to bring back the mullet (again!)

I beat him up for his Venturan Walking Lunch Money at grade school.

I convinced the Rolling Stones that they didn't need a third guitarist.

I told him that chicks really dig that hat of his....

I encouraged him to get a perm. My bad!

BAH! Do not make light of your horrible affronts to Mayavale!

Loser Lad, you were not always a loser! In the lifetime you refer to, you were known as Chip Watson, and I was your cousin, Arnie! You always won at everything, and I had to be content living in your shadow! You were President of our High School Class, star of the Football team, College Valedictorian, soon to become a successful businessman! And I, I was a nobody. Lowly Arnie Watson, who was inferior in every way to his cousin Chip!

I might have grown used to your success, had your attitude been better. But NO! It was not to be! You treated me as inferior, constantly mocking and deriding me! And then came that fateful night, when we both were young men with young families! You had married the prettiest girl in town of course, but I loved my Janie, and the son that she bore me! I went to the mall that evening to try to obtain the toy he wanted, but there you were, cruel as ever, taunting me by taking the parking spot that was rightfully mine!

I had to park far away from the mall, on a backstreet where I encountered a gang of street-toughs, who murdered me for my money! All because you wouldn't let me have my parking spot!

Jiminy Cricket!!

Loser Lad, you're a BASTARD!!!!

I told him that "Ike" was a really hep indie-rock band that everone was groovin' to.

Mebbe Dwight Eisenhower was Dr M. in another life

This may possibly be the best post. Ever.

In a past life I granted Doctor Mayavale (or Judy, as he still likes to be called in quiet moments of repose...) three wishes. Without going into detail (it gets rather gross, and illegal in Utah) I added my own little twist to each of his requests! HA HA!

I was a very nasty genie.

I just offered to give him a hand. He's VERY sensitive.

I told Dr. Mayavale (or Abe as he was known at the time) "Go and enjoy yourself at the theater. You deserve the time off. I hear 'Our American Cousin' is a knee-slapper."

I bumped this thread for Lard Lad, reminding Mayavale about the repeated betrayals he's had to endure over his thousands of lifetimes.

i peed in his corn flakes and that's what set the whole thing OFF!

I once turned him in for tearing those "do not remove" tags off of mattresses.

Every election I vote for Mayavale as LMB leader in hopes he can exact his revenge on all of you!

I once fed him alive to a bunch of mutated rats...

I stole his toy, and when he accused me in front of everyone I pretended it was an accident.

I bogarted the biggest, juiciest hamburger on the plate. Mayavale got stuck with the little, overcooked, bone-dry burger on a stale bun.

I voted third party, costing him the election and handing it to the Khund candidate...

I made a bonfire from issues of Rolling Stone magazine. :Inferno:

EDIT: Whuh? Mayavale gets a smiley but not Inferno?

MLWGA

I didn't betray Dr. Mayavale in a previous life.

I'm too busy betraying him in this one!

I told Dr. Mayavale not to invest his money with either Bill Gates or Steve Jobs. Analog was the way to go.

I promised to pass his resume along to Google, Amazon, McKinsey, the Boston Consulting Group and Facebook... but I "forgot".

I made a nasty Tiktok about his cowboy hat that went viral. Sob!

I only pretended to like Ike.

Some people pretend to be like Ike

I switched his blackeyed peas for crowder.

My chili won the cookout and he came in 2nd place, and he has never forgiven me since

I made sure to put strings between the mittens I knitted for all his hands. He ended up ensnaring himself, and was an easy capture for the science police.

I did naughty things with him, and released a video that showed only his face...

I replaced his anti-frizz cream with a volumizer. His hair frizzed so bad he couldn't keep his stupid hat on! He's been out for blood ever since...

I didn't save the last chicken wing for him.

I replaced the funk soundtrack he walks to, for opera.

I spit in his bean curd and brought dishonor to his family

I organised the strike that stopped his cosmic subway car running.

I operated on him... and that ended that particular past life

Traded all his medallions in at a cash-4-gold shop.

Used his towel by accident

Booked in his cosmic train carriage for annual maintenance on the week he was going to destroiy The Legion.

Deleted his Duolingo account and erased all his progress

*Gasp*! And he had a streak of 535 lifetimes!