Advice needed - 04/23/04 06:11 AM
I'd really appreciate some advice guys on a personal matter, and knowing the honesty and good nature of the posters on this site I thought I'd try here.
I have a friend who is having an affair with a married man. Nothing too shocking there I know only I really strongly dislike the guy! He is trash! She though has been lonely for quite a few years despite being one of the most beautiful people (in any respect) imagineable. Now I try to keep out their way, have told my friend that although I don't personally see the attraction I'll support her choices and have tried to be supportive to her. She is a very very dear friend and I'm more than adult enough to be able to put my feelings about her choice of fellow behind me when we talk.
There are complications though. The guy in question is my boss and it has caused some rather awkward situations at work where I've went looking for help and due to, I don't know, embarrassment - on his behalf - I've ended up not getting the help that previously I would have relied upon. When they first got together I spoke to him and told him quite up front that I did not want to know any information and would not be prepared to discuss it at work or be their messenger service. I'm not getting in the middle!
It is getting very uncomfortable to be around him though as there are constant winks and smirks when we bump into each other (as we do a lot!) yet it's impossible to talk shop to him any more.
Oh, I didn't say, the person in question is one of my lodgers so lives in the house with me so I have little chance of avoiding them when they have their little rendezvouses. I've tried staying out and have even dragged Alan and Ol away for the night down to Brighton to give them space and also avoid the awkwardness of having that snake sit and smirk at us in our own front room.
Am I just jealous that the friend of mine is less exclusively mine? I am worrying that I'm over reacting to a situation. If she was seeing someone else would I object so much? I really don't know.
Ultimately, she is one of my very dearest friends and I do want to see her happy, which she does seem to be when she's with him.
What should I do?
I have a friend who is having an affair with a married man. Nothing too shocking there I know only I really strongly dislike the guy! He is trash! She though has been lonely for quite a few years despite being one of the most beautiful people (in any respect) imagineable. Now I try to keep out their way, have told my friend that although I don't personally see the attraction I'll support her choices and have tried to be supportive to her. She is a very very dear friend and I'm more than adult enough to be able to put my feelings about her choice of fellow behind me when we talk.
There are complications though. The guy in question is my boss and it has caused some rather awkward situations at work where I've went looking for help and due to, I don't know, embarrassment - on his behalf - I've ended up not getting the help that previously I would have relied upon. When they first got together I spoke to him and told him quite up front that I did not want to know any information and would not be prepared to discuss it at work or be their messenger service. I'm not getting in the middle!
It is getting very uncomfortable to be around him though as there are constant winks and smirks when we bump into each other (as we do a lot!) yet it's impossible to talk shop to him any more.
Oh, I didn't say, the person in question is one of my lodgers so lives in the house with me so I have little chance of avoiding them when they have their little rendezvouses. I've tried staying out and have even dragged Alan and Ol away for the night down to Brighton to give them space and also avoid the awkwardness of having that snake sit and smirk at us in our own front room.
Am I just jealous that the friend of mine is less exclusively mine? I am worrying that I'm over reacting to a situation. If she was seeing someone else would I object so much? I really don't know.
Ultimately, she is one of my very dearest friends and I do want to see her happy, which she does seem to be when she's with him.
What should I do?