Welcome, lovelies, to the grand opening of the Dreamerteria.

All Legion Worlders are welcome to free libations at the bar - Silverale, mead, lead serum smoothies, etc.

You will find complementary Venturan walking money for the casinos.

Please notice the ample litter box accomodations for the cats of Legion World and the Dreamerteria is, of course, tesseract friendly.

Performers are always welcome to take the stage and share their talents, whatever form they may take.

The elect, may join Miss Terious in her private but palatial boudoir to relax and unwind. Mayhaps receive a vision from the lady, herself.

But, remember... everything that happens in the Dreamerteria, stays in the Dreamerteria.

First one here! First one here!!!

This place is too good to be true, Miss T!

Let me be the first to thank you for constructing such a wonderful establishment! Free walking money? I've never been someplace that pays to enter before!

I sure hope Cobie comes by soon! He can take the stage and wow us with some poetry.

*ppuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrr*

Thora of Taltar bids you welcome, Miss Terious! Perhaps we shall get together one evening and swap delightful tales of our encounters with cretinous males.

Golly, Miss Terious even got Thora to delurk from her cretin flogging!

That's our Missy!

Mom warned me 'bout those Southern ladies... luckily, she was right!

Descends the oppulent grand staircase, dressed in the finest haute couture of shimmering silk. Notices Trudy Truesoe and other members of the papparazzi as well as her friends & allies of Legion World.

Thank you to all in attendance and I'd like to announce my first vision:

I foresee new friendships and joyful abandon.

Let the party never end!

Hear, hear!

How do you stuff these Venturan guys into the slot machines? They don't seem to want to go.

Great shades of Freddy Krueger!

My dear Miss Terious! It's been lifetimes since I've seen you!

Dear friends, once this lovely young lady was known as Belvadhia, great princess of the Valtaar Empire. I, of course, was Meldotho, heir to the throne of Kelthos-5. Kelthos was such a peaceful world, with little ambition of conquest, but great wealth. I miss it so much!

When I first laid eyes on the beautiful Belvadhia, I knew I must make her my bride! Oh, what a fool I was! I should have known her intentions were less than noble! Though I suppose it was somewhat merciful for her to let me live as her eunuch slave for thirteen years after the Valtaar sneak attack on Kelthos which resulted in the death of most of my people.

Belvadhia must have enjoyed my constant admiration of her beauty, for even when she finally had me put to death, she had my eyes plucked out and kept in a jar in her chamber. Odd.

It is SUCH a pleasure to see you again, Belvadhia! Perhaps you could join me one evening in the wheeling mists that we might relive old times?

Or she can see Quislet to have a restraining order drawn up.

"Belvadhia" and "Meldotho" are Khund soap opera characters, according to my "Encyclopedia Galactica"

OOPS! Sorry!

Misread. The soap characters are actually "Ross" and "Rachel"

My bad!

Is there anybody here who *hasn't* screwed him over in another lifetime?

The Khundish version sounds a lot better, if you ask me. The ending, too.

Is not cognizant of her role as Belvadhia in a waking state but having such familiarity with Oneiros, I assume Dr. Mayavale/Meldotho remembers me from the Dreaming.

"Enjoy your pursuits, humble Mayavale!"

Meanwhile, my prisoner Kent Shakespeare has been deposited in my private boudoir. I excuse myself to my private quarters. My voluptuous ladies in waiting (a gift from the true queen Thora) have the situation well in hand. I send them on to attend to this matter, personally.

*From the closed door a low mechanical humming can be heard along with alternating cries of joy and pain. The hours pass quickly as the thorough interrogation eventually proves explosively fruitful!*

"Yes!"

"Yes! Oh, God, Yes!"

"I have the secret location of the Cobalt Kid! I will lay my trap for him next!"

I plan to feed Kent a mild sedative to alleviate the trauma of his torture, but, strangely, he is spent. He is sawing logs like a woodsman from New Vermont.

I issue the orders that upon his awakening, Kent is to be taken downstairs and released. Forever kept mum from speaking his experience - as per the house rule.

hrrhh.... hmm.... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzz
zzzz

<smiling>

Thank you Lashkins for giving me such eye candy to focus on during my grand opening. It put that extra pep in my step.

100 creds just to enter the casino, my friends! I'm independently wealthy from betting on the Venturan winged pony races.

Cobie's a poet? I didn't know it.

Chic outfit, Miss Terious! This is turning into a regular classy place.

The Mighty Quinn M. would be proud.

It's almost as much fun as a free man as it is as a captive of our hostess!

A very lovely place! And don't worry about setting a trap for me Missy, since thoughts of you in a gown sprung any trap that you needed

Maybe I'll take the stage for some poetry, a favorite hobby of mine. I can get deep, but also keep it fun too...

PS- Dr. Mayavale's post on the previous page is one of the funniest I've ever read online. I was literally howling with laughter

Pictures Cobie "sprung":

hey !! Miss Terious !!

can i join your "Dreamerteria"

Matthew.

The most beautiful man in the known universe AND a gentleman too?!?!?!? I graciously extend an open invitation to the Boy with Ultra Powers to use my 'establishment' whenever and however he sees fit *hee hee*

thank you for the invite !! and i accept !!

i'm gonna enjoy looking around your "establishment" !!! and you made me with your kind words !!!

you look very beautiful too

Matthew.

Hrun likes

Hrun takes money and puts in pouch.

Hrun also takes the expensive drapes, two gold goblets, one of the handmaidens and the litter trays.

"if the cats are properly house trained then they will have to come to me and then..."

The place looks great! You sure know how to run a fine establishment.

My entourage of Taltaran warriors (a gift from her matriarch, Thora) take action at the barbarian's looting.

An epic battle ensues with Hrun just barely managing to keep his head.

I enter from my boudoir wearing a sheer peekaboo gown and undergarments.

"Lord Hrun, if you will return the items you have pillaged I will grant you a weekend's stay at the Dreamerteria with all the food, mead, and handmaidens you can enjoy."

"And, if you're a very good boy, I'll see about getting your helmet spit and polished for you."

Welcome rtvu2. Any dream you can dream is possible in the Dreamerteria. Merely express it and it shall be yours. But be careful for what you ask

Thanks to that electric erudite, Lightning Lad, I've decided to redecorate the 'Teria.

For inspiration I found Edgar Allan Poe's poem, Dreamland , circa 1844:

By a route obscure and lonely,
Haunted by ill angels only,
Where an Eidolon, named NIGHT,
On a black throne reigns upright,
I have reached these lands but newly
From an ultimate dim Thule-
From a wild clime that lieth, sublime,
Out of SPACE&#8211;out of TIME.

Bottomless vales and boundless floods,
And chasms, and caves, and Titan woods,
With forms that no man can discover
For the tears that drip all over;
Mountains toppling evermore
Into seas without a shore;
Seas that restlessly aspire,
Surging, unto skies of fire;
Lakes that endlessly outspread
Their lone waters&#8211;lone and dead,-
Their still waters&#8211;still and chilly
With the snows of the lolling lily.

By the lakes that thus outspread
Their lone waters, lone and dead,-
Their sad waters, sad and chilly
With the snows of the lolling lily,-
By the mountains&#8211;near the river
Murmuring lowly, murmuring ever,-
By the grey woods,&#8211;by the swamp
Where the toad and the newt encamp-
By the dismal tarns and pools
Where dwell the Ghouls,-
By each spot the most unholy-
In each nook most melancholy-
There the traveller meets aghast
Sheeted Memories of the Past-
Shrouded forms that start and sigh
As they pass the wanderer by-
White-robed forms of friends long given,
In agony, to the Earth&#8211;and Heaven.

For the heart whose woes are legion
'Tis a peaceful, soothing region-
For the spirit that walks in shadow
'Tis&#8211;oh, 'tis an Eldorado!
But the traveller, travelling through it,
May not&#8211;dare not openly view it!
Never its mysteries are exposed
To the weak human eye unclosed;
So wills its King, who hath forbid
The uplifting of the fringed lid;
And thus the sad Soul that here passes
Beholds it but through darkened glasses.

By a route obscure and lonely,
Haunted by ill angels only,
Where an Eidolon, named NIGHT,
On a black throne reigns upright,
I have wandered home but newly
From this ultimate dim Thule.

THE END

Of course, there's still free creds at the casino, Taltaran amazon security, plenty of booze, etc. But, why not take a classy joint and class it up?

What a great place! Wish I had stopped by earlier. As a housewarming gift here is a first edition copy of The Raven and Other Poems, containing the first printing of Dream-Land.

Never let it be said that the Legion are a woe but this should be on the sign above the door.

Thank you, Scott! I will treasure this *hugs*

I proclaim Lightning Lad an honored guest of the Dreamerteria, privy to all her pleasures.

Gosh!

Can I take a nap here without getting funny drawings on my face, unlike in SHAKES?

The renovations are going great, Miss Terious!

Even a few days into the Dreamerteria's opening, you're already trying to improve! I like your spirit.

IB, they were just trying to make sure you woke up with a smile on your face! Even if it was a forced one.

I can't match Scott's gift, but in my travels, I've dug up a pristine, original 45 of Satchmo's "A KIss to Build a Dream on."

In honor of Dreamerteria and its hostess, I bestow this gift.

Welcome IB - feel free to curl up anywhere, my darling. But, remember, dreams walk among us in the 'Teria.

Thank you for noticing my ch-ch-changes, Future.

And, Kent. As if you aren't gift enough. Thank you for the musical treasure. Perhaps we could take a private conference and you could explain 'External Affairs (tm)' to me, darling.

Hrun stands, panting after all the exerction.

"That was a noble battle fair lady. Tis to give thanks for the joy of battle that I shall return the items mentioned. Now is there some where I can get this large helmet polished."

That's my specialty, Hrun, dear. Follow my guard to my boudoir and I'll take care of your large helmet, personally.

Hrun picks up the guard and putting him under his arm smiles and says

"you just tell me where to go, and I will just leave your head attached to its body"

After a tedious climb up the grand staircase, Hrun finds himself in the mistress' boudoir. Several anterooms lead to the main room - quite spacious and draped with luxurious silks. Soft, beguiling music lilts in the air. And the air, itself, is lightly perfumed. The floor is covered in a rich, luxuriant carpet that feels like the softest down.

There is a large circular bed in the middle of the room and, upon this bed, sits Miss Terious. I am wearing a stark white 'kimono style' robe, gathered around my sitting form. My hair is sculted upwards into an exotic style and, though I am wearing makeup, it is not in the 'Japanese' style.

"I bid you: join me, Hrun. We will discuss possibilities, as is my area of expertise. And, oh, yes, bring your helmet."

No.

<Watching from hiding in the tesseract system Stoopid cat waits until Hrun has his helmet in hand to strike... A quick slash of razor sharp claws>

"ARRGGGG!!! My helmet!"

Miss Terious dives out of the way expecting a furious battle to erupt but Stoopid Cat is gone and the tesseract entrance has vaanished.

Nice ambush, SC. Now what are you going to do with that helmet?

Ms. T, do you mind if I join you in your quarters? I was hoping I could give you a massage with this new technique I've learned.

When I'm done rubbing you down, I'll find something to eat...

I leave Hrun and his slashed helmet to be tended by one of my staff.

Joining Cobie in one of the antechambers, I am flattered by his generous offer to tenderize my roni.

"I foresee a tower unto iron and its eventual collapse - AFTER many hours of fortitude and the eventual ejection of its properties."

Join me in this sleep chamber, Cobalt Kid, and will discuss the intricacies of my divination.

Looks like everyone is "sleeping" here. I'll continue my rounds.

Mm, this chamber is pleasant and gentle.

Let me probe your intricacies as deeply and delicately as I can...

d'oh!

hey Cobie!

watch where you're probing!

some of us are trying to stay as nirvaneous as we can here.

Kent, darling! Come, join us. Cobie, dear, move over and make some room for Kent, too.

Ah, three! Such a wonderful, pagan number!

But keep your hands to yourself or Miss T, Cobie!

While Miss T, Cobie, and Kent are away behind closed doors, I'll be sure to help watch the Dreamerteria.

Perhaps STU can assist me in looking out for the riff-raff.

I'll give you a hand as soon as I'm done fleecing the rubes at the poker tables.

Where's the hot-tub, Miss T?

There's always an adventure to be had at the Dreamerteria, gang - it's up to you to dream it and the 'Teria will fulfill it!

P.S. Lashkins, as I said elsewhere: If you and Ultra-Matthew could reproduce, you'd have supermodel babies!

... suddenly I'm reminded of the cover to Adventure #317...

Congrats, Miss T, on post #247...

and thanks, Scott, for visualizing what I was thinking of.

Thank you for the reference, Scott the Lightning Tot! I loved that tale! Even if it did slander sweet li'l ol' me as a menace - when all along it was that heifer, Glorith & her boogey daddy, Time Trapper!

that (G and TT) was actually the thematic sequel, if I remember right, the following time they were tuerned to tots.

You are a menace, I'm convinced, to impressionable, innocent young men... not that there'd be any around these parts.

not that there's anything wrong with that.

What's wrong with young men, they have vitality.

I don't feel very vital right now for a young man, although that might be because it's 8:00 AM here.

Miss T, what exploits have you been up to the past few days?

Future, you need to have someone in your bed at 8:00 AM to really kick-start the day . Nothing like a pre-work, marathon session right after waking up!

Marathon session? Is that what they're calling foreplay these days?

I didn't even get into the amount of foreplay that ensues...

I'm afraid I'm just now understanding part of Cobie's legend right here! My, won't the LW gals be ablaze with gossip tomorrow?

I've been a busy little beaver, as of late. I'll return to my usual posting rate soon, darlings!

This is quite and interesting conversation, I have a question for the experts, what IS foreplay?

The mutual stimulation leading up to the main event.

Hmm, that's bull sh*t, I perfer just to get to it, I mean I've most likely made the guy wait for about six months. I'm just going to want to get to it. But, hell I'm game.

That's a good attitude

The thing I really consider to be foreplay is Oral Sex before the main event (although during and after are always a lot of fun too )

Other things are fun too when you're in the mood to tease the other person and get them all hot and bothered (like right when you wake up...)

You sound very knowlegdable in this subject, Cobie.

I think for Venusians, "foreplay" is that time in the beginning of a relationship where sex is something the man is working towards. You take bicycle rides together and hold hands. You plan special surprises for your partner and enjoy being pursued. You know that little things like seeing you in your underwear drives him wild!

My mom tells me that once you're married, foreplay becomes something like your partner loading the dishwasher before you do or having a night at Bennigan's. I guess it's all a matter of perspective

P.S. But I really like oral ~ giving AND receiving! *tee hee*

Best P.S. EVER!!!

I meant it, too!

Can't say I disagree with you.

I don't know. My second coming burned a little. Should I be worried?

Sounds like a problem for the Super Free Clinic... of Space!

I hear they're doing wonderful things with anti-biotics in the 31st Century.

I think I want to vomit, I thought I was straight forward.

KZG, experience has been the best teacher

I can't disagree with the PS either, although the Super Penicillan of Space may be in order...

KZG feel free to keep your vomit to yourself.

I let it land where it may, but it's ok, it's past, does this make me one of you?

You're getting there. Learning to supress your gag-reflex is a step in the right direction...

You've always been one of us, KGZ!

Abin's on stand by just in case anyone DOES upchuck around the Dreamerteria.

I foresee an end to conflict and a beginning to friendship.

Good, because I really like you, your my kind of gal, and I mean that as a friend and as bi-sexual.

*Inches his chair up closer*

I love new friends!

Plus, I'd make out with you if Lou was watching!

Or Cobie!

Or Kent!

You'd make out with Cobie or Kent if I was watching OR you'd make out with KGZ if Cobie or Kent were watching?

Edit: I'm getting all excited now. Can't type.

What's getting excited got yo go wit zat?

Hmmm... Mee true...

Pictures Lou "excited":

I'd let you watch, I'd be too busy to notice you anyways.

More like:

*Starts looking for tickets from Anaheim to Augusta on Priceline.com*

**Starts looking for new camcorder on e-bay**

***Starts looking for some sexy lingerie to wear***

Ut! *passes out*

**Starts singing**

"Dream a little dream..."

**Goes to sleep, smiling**

Sleep, Abin, but you'll wake up with smile, and breakfast.

She cooks too?!?

I just baked some brownies about 4 hours ago, and I licked the bowl clean and made a mess all over my shirt, I had to change, and then I realized that I had gotten some on my bra and I had to change that, too.

Ut!

*passes out again*

I just baked some brownies about 4 hours ago, and I licked the bowl clean and made a mess all over my shirt, I had to change, and then I realized that I had gotten some on my bra and I had to change that, too.

Stop doing that!

I think I gave myself a concussion the last time...

I actually didn't mean to post twice. Oh just got a call from my friend Sara, she's the typical best friend, she taught me how to kiss.

Again...

I have a good friend named Sara I know very well, not as throughly as that though.

P.S. I love oral ~ giving AND receiving!

First girl I ever kissed was named Sara. She lived two doors down from me growing up. From what I hear she grew up to be quite a little hottie.

She and I are VERY, VERY, close. As close as I hope Miss Terious and I can be one day.

*sigh*

Maybe Loser Lad and I can become close friends like Sara and I.

So late, I guess I better turn in, just wishing there was someone I could go to, preferably with the intials, LL.

Good Night

I'll book the plane tickets!

Good night Zoe!!!

I went to bed last night, and thanks to Loser Lad, I woke up satisfied.

PS, Does Miss Terious like giving oral to females?

wots an oral?

Oral sex as foreplay. That means talking about it right

You have much to learn young lady. Step into my classroom...

Anytime ma'am!

Um, how's the mother of my children? Recovering nicely?

Anything I can do to get the energy flowing nicely again?

Honey lamb, I left a vid message in your security office, explaining everything. The girls will be joining me here shortly to plan a baby shower! Cobie Jr. is going to be SO loved!

I think there should be streamers at the baby shower!

At the sight of beautiful Zoe, Try Girl triplicates and Purple immediately locks eyes with Zoe, saying,

"Where have you been all my life, cutie?" (which is terribly ironic since she's only about 3 days old, though a fullgrown woman).

"Huh? You talking to me?" Happens to glance around and see her cute little butt.

"Well, where's a pretty thing like you've been hiding."

Can I watch?

I believe you have to ask the orange one.

I make my way home to the Dreamerteria, feeling very strange.

Nausea becomes slight cramping.

I make it to my bedchamber and undress, covering myself with my bedsheets.

I drift into a fitful slumber, seeing images of two armies. Young men slaying one another in senseless rivalry. Then flashes of widowed and mourning young women. Their hearts broken by great personal loss.

I awake started and sweaty. Then I notice the moisture between my legs. Disbelievingly I see a newborn male child.

But he ISN"T crying! Instinct takes over and I pick up the child. At my touch, he lets out a joyful cry - thank Goddess!

I feed the hungry babe, worrying over the unnaturalness of his birth - as well as the other tests the Goddess has seen fit to set before me of late.

I decide not to call Cobalt Kid. He has his hands full with our leader SoM, right now. I set our son down on my bed and quickly change clothes.

When I return...

When I return my son is gone! In his place stand a fullgrown man, as naked as my sins.

Thank the Gods, I'm not Miss T.

Ummmm, Zoe, I just got back from Dr. Gym'll's office....

We're having a baby!

I'm going to require a holo-vid of the conception. Strictly for, um, research purposes, of course.

According to Dr. Gym'll, Zoe got so "involved" in our playtime that her powers unconsciously animated the residual DNA from Space Ranger's excursion and redesigned it to resemble her code - thus she just my baby mama!

P.S. I'm laying the soundtrack to the vid right now, Lou.

Sweet!

*Warms up 56" plasma screen and surround sound home theatre system*

Crap, well at least I won't get the stretch marks.

I'm not receiving visitors.

I'm showing. It's not been a week that I've been pregnant and I'm showing. Of course within that "not yet a week," I've borne six daughters and a son. But I'm still pregnant. Oh, and apparently, I'm going to be a grandmother soon, too.

I can't sleep.

No.

I won't sleep - the visions are too strong. There is war afoot and death on the horizon.

Please, Goddess, let Cobie and the children survive. Let there be no evil within me and, if there is, punish me and no one else.

When's the last time I ate? And why am I pacing? I'm losing it.....

Don't worry, you'll value me as a good daughter in-law, except when I leave for an audition, but besides that I'm there for you...Mom.

KA-BOOM!!!

What the hell happened in here? It's like a bomb went off...

Swooping down, riding Legion World's lines of magnetic force,

Yes, citizen. My mother's establishment has run afoul of sabotage! What's more she has taken leave of Legion World and possibly of her senses.

Sensing something in the air, Cosmo flies away suddenly.

Dang. Time to start hanging out at the Hootchie Hut again.

Ok, I wanted one dead, but it wasn't Miss T. so I'm innocent. Innocent I tell you. You can't prove nothing!

Hmmm. Aren't these KGZ's fingerprints all over the bomb and detonator?!?

NO!!!

If I did it I would have used my psychokinesis.

So there.

Trysexual wasn't even in the building.

No, she was in the Loser Cave at the time.

Mission: Failed!

Yeah, and you wonder how she got pregnant. Your going to have to marry her. Can't have talk, can we? I'm marrying purple. So you have to marry orange. We'll be inlaws. Guess that's going to cut out on our fun.

Me, *shudder* married?!?

NEVER!!!

Don't make Cobie's kids darg you to the alter, there a damn army.

Be one of us, Lou, don't resist.

Ha ha ha...

Resistance IS NOT futile!

Complete Futile, we'll have sunday night orgies.

I'm down with the Sunday night orgies...

But you have to marry, or else it's casteration.

Hmmm. I don't like my odds here.

Let's see, get castrated, never have sex again.

Get married, never have sex again AND have to put up with an nagging wife...

I'll take the castration, thankyouverymuch...

Drop your pants, Lou.

Somber brandishes her castration knife.

What makes you think I was wearing pants in the first place?!?

Your making it so easy, no orgies for you, say bye-bye. You'll only be able to think with one head now.

I've only been thinking with one all along!

Then your going to be screwed when Somber and I are done with you.

With a few very quick, very well-placed swipes of her blade, Somber shears Lou's pubic area free of its garden...

Still want me to continue, Loser Lad?

Let's hope so!

Feh, like I said it'll grow back. It always does.

Then I'll have to keep you locked up in my sex chamber and keep cutting.

If I had a dollar for every time somebody wanted to castrate me I'd have, well, a whole bunch of dollars, that's for sure.

You'll get tired of all the cutting after awhile. They always do...

That's why I have the Legion of Cobalt Babies.

Gonna try taking it in shifts, are you? Heh. They ALWAYS try taking it in shifts...

Hmm...well then...I'll resort to the black magicks.

Yep. They always try that too.

Newbies...

They haven't tried my horny...Vicious...HOMOSEXUAL DOG.

No, that they haven't tried.

But I'd guess a horny homosexual dog WOULDN'T be into seeing you cutting me off at the...um...pass.

He'll rape you, then try to kill you, and your "pass" will just have to be his chew toy, when I tell him not kill you.

That would certainly suck...

Now that was just TOO funny! Funny cuz it's true! Well I'm naked but not sleeping yet. Join me in Spaceopoly for a new Zoe-inspired game?

dream castle gone. needs a statue of Mom.

Poor Miss Terious.

OK, I just need something clarified here.

You actually pack a knife for the sole purpose of...what you describe above?

Isn't she great.

"Great" was not exactly the first word that entered my mind.

So now a wedding is in the works? I get to walk one of the brides? Cool!

Since there isn't a groom, I'll have to throw a bachelor party for msyelf then!

Oh and Castration is prohibited on Legion World.

Check the constitution out in section 4.b, or as I commonly refer to it, "the don't cut off penis amendment".

This is the only thing that has saved you, you understand.

It's an amendment that I've cherished

I had to do some serious research when the Shark Avatar Beast decided to stop by last October.

I was wondering why you suddenly took an interest in the law.

Say, Cobie...

Something else else occurs to me....

Here we are, standing in the rubble of the Dreamerteria which, as you know, recently collapsed. One of our LW members has also gone missing.

Now, I may be missing something, buit it seems to be that if a similar event took place, oh, anywhere else, the area in question would be cordoned off by Security personnel and a whole bunch of investigative, scientific, and scientific investigative types would be combing the entire area for clues. Checking for radiation, evidence of sabotage, questioning the locals, you know, the usual stuff.

So I guess what I'm trying to say here is, well, what up, dog?

I'd make a Scott Peterson joke but SP disgusts me

I was wondering when someone else was going to notice that the Dreamerteria had been destroyed...

Poor Miss Terious.

Not to worry guys, I've had people on it the whole time. I've actually been here talking to people to diverty anyone from hindering their investigations.

Miss T has dissapeared, although I have my suspicions where she may be. However, once she's found, we'll have to learn the truth about the baby inside of her...

The bombing of the Dreamataria is troublesome. With so many security officers missing and in the field (and Space Ranger still being on probation), I'm going to have to handle the majority of this case.

I have no choice: OM, as deputy leader of the LMB, I'm placing all nine children in your charge as I try to find an answer to this problem. Space Ranger, Loser Lad and Zoe can help you with the Trys, but the other eight should be safe in your hands.

Oh, and if anyone can find me these 'condom' things I keep hearing about, I'd appreciate it.

Just so we're clear: KinetixZoeGreen is currently *not* a suspect in the bombing.

Who could be involved in this dastardly plot that we don't know about?

Food for thought: the Royal Inquisitor hates me (and Fat Cramer and Blockade Boy), and has a history of bombing things. Potential suspect #1.

I told you I didn't do it Lou.

I'll help anyway I can.

PS. When am I going to get hired officially?

What's this I hear about reporting to an 'Outdoor Miner'? And where are we supposed to live now that the DREAMERTERIA has blown up? Oh, and I need a job! (we all do, really) I can't flirt my way into breakfast at the Cafe like my sisters can. *SIGH!* Why me?

Of course, you "could" always seek shelter in the Psyonian Embassy... I would be more than happy to hide you. And we're fond of hair here

I just might take you up on that offer Princess. Things aren't looking too good for me out here in the open right now.

The Loser Cave is cleverly hidden, but I fear I may be trailed and inadvertantly reveal it's location, and this room at the Super Motel 6...of Space(!) isn't really cutting it anymore.

Did I mention that the Embassy has a secret portal that links to virtually any door on Legion World? I'm sure that it could hook up to the Loser Cave, and you could enter through there.

Mind you, the portal is in my personal quarters, but if you don't mind going through my bedroom on your way home, then...

I've never minded before, but every other time it's been "hurry, out the window before my brother finds out you're here!"

Now be fair, Loser dear... I've always encouraged you to stay for breakfast

Hmmm... I wonder what used to be here?

It was the Dreamataria, Abin. Maybe you, the Emerald Empress or the LMB Spectre could re-build it with your powers? All three of you have helped rebuild the Security Office on the numerous times it's been blown up.

I'm kidding of course Princess. I kid because i love!

You're always a very gracious host. I look forward to spending more time at the Embassy!

Not to nitpick, but *I'm* actually deputy leader. You're the security chief.

Why do I feel like I've just been dropped into a sitcom?

They're those things you keep mistaking for free candies over at Shameless Hussies.

That would be me. No need to be so formal, either. You can call me "Sir".

You all can crash in my wing of the gov't building until something turns up. I have some ground rules:

1) The liquor cabinet is off limits.
2) The musical instruments are absolutely off limits.
3) No blowing things up.

We'll work on the job thing later.

Trysexual Girl (pregnant x 3), Spooky Kook, Princess Perfectra, myself, Somber, Lass, Sister Saturn, Cosmosis, Starcrossed, and Alchemical King reporting for duty, Miner, sir. Oh, and Trackstar has debuted as well claiming to be part of the family. *sighs* We really need to find work on Legion World - any suggestions?

Hmm...I need a job, too.

COBALT!!!

OUTDOOR MINER!!!

I BETTER BE GETTING HIRED SOON!!!

Thanks for stepping in OM! And you are knee-deep in this sit-com now I'll try to be home when I'm not working around the clock...

Zoe, if you'd like, I could get you a job at the Security Office! We could use a few more security officers since most of the current ones are missing these days...

Hey, that's Government work right? Spiffy title, comfy chair, fat salary, good bennies and little actual work to be done? If so, sign me up!

I'll take it, Cobie!

Zoe, you're hired! Glad to have you! Just be sure to constantly report to the security office to get new assignments and pick up your check. The other Security Officers seem to be missing lately (Dev, Furball, Shark Lad, Emerald Empress, Invisible Brainiac, Arachne, Super Lad Kid and Blockade Boy) and Space Ranger is about to come off of his probation.

Lou, if you'd like a job, just say so! Plenty of overtime and great benefits. Plus, you get the adoration of the citizens of Legion World, as we are it's primary defense force.

Now, the main mission is to find Miss T and find out who blew up this building! Miss T is just too cute and sexy not to be found (and yes, not-cute and not-sexy people are a lesser priority ). It looks like it's up to you and me Zoe to work closely and solve this case.

OM, take good care of my brood!

Alright, just let me change into a skanky dress, that shows my legs and gives great clevage. It's a great intergation tactic.

Isn't that inTERRYgation?

Oh, good one. Hey, when I marry you sister, you'll actually be my sister Saturn.

By the way, is this dress showing my boobs enough?

I see you've already got a gig. Congratulations. Watch your back.

Have you thought about maybe trying out for CALAMITY, the official LW rock band?

Sorry, man. I've copped that gig already.

Hey, that's right! We could use some Lead Vocals!

OM, I barely remember who's in it besides you and I. We need to get more practice sections in...

Unfortunately, Cirque du Soleil isn't returning my calls anymore. Long story.

Lesse....We used to have a restaurant around here called The Beacon. Really nice, high class joint.

Can any of you cook? Clean? Do math? Wait tables?

Never mind, I found it! Jeez, most of these posters have missed a lot of practices...

As I recall, you were switching off on guitar and bass. If Zoe joins, it'll free you up for the guitar slot.

I'm handling the esoteric electronics. Most everyone else played percussion.

And the drummer's gone missing.

Which is a pretty rock 'n' roll thing to do, now that I think about it.

Hate to break this to you, but I'll be off on a little deal of my own for a couple of days, and I'll be kicking the Cobie Bunch back to you for a while.

If you guys need a Roadie let me know. Back at Syracuse I was Crew Chief for the University Union Concert Board. I've lugged equipment for the Julianna Hatfield Three, DefTones, the Smithereens and Marilyn Manson, among others.

Hey man, I used to be Leader. Shouldn't I at least be getting some kind of a pension out of that?!?

I think an LW Leader "pension" only refers to whatever you can take with you when you go.

Dang. No wonder Newcru was so quick to move into the office when my term was up. All I managed to get away with was this Executive letter-opener and a couple of pockets full of paperclips.

There's a band too...

Hey, I can't play an instrument but I can party like a Rock Star if that counts for anything!

NO DRUGS!

Just sex and violence for you.

Two out of three ain't bad!

And the violence has to be inflicted upon you.

I can live with that...

But can you live with Cobie on the road 24/7. Maybe me because I'll be running around the trailer without a bra, but Cobie pantless, do you have the stomach.

I've been an LMBer for four-and-a-half years now. Do you think I would have survived this long if I hadn't built up a tolerance to such things?

Besides, the benefits far outweigh the costs.

This band is huge, like the Twelve Girls Band.

Don't forget though, it's an LMB band. That means there's really only two of you playing 12 different instruments under different logins.

Ha ha ha...I have no Alt. Id. and I'm nobody's Alt. ID., either.

Anyway, lets get back to discussing me in my bra in a trailer with Loser and Cobalt.

DAMN

I wish I had remembered to change my log in back to KinetixgreenZoe before posting that.

Wouldn't it be nice if I gathered Cobie, Lou, Far, Abin, Kent, & Numfies together for a party and I was the only party favor? I know I'd have a good time!

As long as I get to go first. I hate long lines...

There's 2 bathrooms, Lou - that should cut down on any lines.

Cool. That'll work then!

I may be a beauty school dropout, but I'm dead on with the clippers!

I suppose I should be flattered...

I only imitate the best imitators of the best!

That's why I imitated EDE imitating you

While you're here, Kippers, should I give you a once over on your furline?

now I don't wish to seem boastful or anything but...

I think i can safely say, speaking only for myself of course. You most certainly would have a good time

When's the T dance?

What's a T dance?

Well people more into the scene than I can correct me, but basically it is an afternooon dance for gay men. It is sometime spelt "T Dance" and sometimes "Tea Dance".

Well I'd love to host a T Dance for you Quis!

Since I'm southern we'll give it a cotillion theme.

Slow or fast dancing?

The music preferred is any type that causes the buff boys to go shirtless. So, it has to be fast so they work up a sweat.

Black-Eyed Peas at Miss T's Dance - Cotillion Style!

Dang, Quis, too bad I dropped out of the race. This T dance may have won me your vote

I don't think I'd be able to be a doormat Miss T, but I think I can handle it if you get rough

Flings axe through door, smashing into the bar.

Wipes dirty boots on Cobalt Kid doormat and starts looking for the funny little walking money.

*tee hee*

Okay? So when do we start the rennovation?

Well, you and Cobes are providing the initial funsing and likely the construction crew as well.

I'd sit down with Miss T and work out the design issues beforehand.

Alright... I hereby offer the services of Statue, Buildings and Wonderous Architecture Construction Co. to Miss T for use in the design and refurbishing of the Dreamateria into the new Alt-ID Cultural Center.

Excellent. Send me a signficant portion of the bill, and I'll sure it's properly funded.

I'll also take on an administrative role in over-seeing this is done efficiently and quickly.

Miner, once you and Miss T draw up the designs, we'll have the construction get under way.

I also think that any alt IDs interesting in working here should begin applying for the staff openings that will need to be filled.

The construction of the Feline Cultural Center can be our next project, EDE.

Well, when I said "I'd", I meant "what I would do if I were you".

But the Government Office should keep up on things, so I'll keep a hand in.

I gotcha. I think you being involved would be a good idea, and cover the government office's side of things.

I'll have EDE's main architects draw up some blueprints, and have them run them by EDE, Miss T, me and yourself. Then we'll proceed.

I think I should donate a large sum of money to this restoration.

After all, during the war I blasted it with lightning, burned the floors, cut the Foundation with Excalibur and sent that tornado on it.

How much will the expenses cost?

Gentlemen, I'd like to suggest the center be called The Giant Squid Memorial Center for the Advancement of Alt-ID Culture. or GSMCAAIC (phonetically pronounced JISM CAKE).

Wow, in honor of Giant Squid, a fallen Alt ID!

*sniff*

I'll never forget how he gave his life during the Dark Stu Saga. He showed true bravery for standing up for his beliefs, even though he was cut down by the Royal Inquisitor.

An excellent choice for a name!

Giant Squid was a true hero of Legion World, and this cultural center will serve as a fitting memorial!

I'll never forget how GS kept on broadcasting until the Omega Beams wiped him from existence!

It was a scary time for LW, and Giant Squid did his best to bring truth to the public. For weeks the Inquisitor threatened him, and he valiantly refused to leave Legion World Square.

JISM CAKE. I said JISM CAKE.

This is wonderful, with Miss Terious ingenious mind, the great architects, and my money backing this place. It will be the biggest and most beautiful building in Legion World and all for the worthy cause of remembering Giant Squid.

It's nice to see the Triumvir's work crews so busy.

Attention all Alt-IDs: Apply within to fill positions of curators, historians, archaeologists, artists, accountants, clerical staff, and many others.

As a community, we need to reach an agreement on our native homeworld (the planet Psyche, correct?), rituals and traditions, and propose a month to mark National Alt-ID History Week.

Space Ranger, as the Alts' spiritual leader, I'd like you to help me in assessing the needs of our community.

Also, once Kippers' Big Brother competition has crowned an Alt figurehead, I'd like to ask that alt to join my committee. We shall be known as the Alt Tribunal or maybe the Psychic Triune or maybe the Committee of 3 Who Aren't the Triumvirs. We'll discuss it.

Egads! What an interesting renovation the Dreamerteria has gone through! Glad to see more of a community opening up for the Alt-IDs.

Good luck in all events as you establish your triumvir in Alt ID culture.

I'm glad to be of assistance.

EDE has informed me that progress is going well and the construction should not be too much longer.

As the main investor in the place, I'm very proud of the way things are currently being handled. Nice job, Miss T!

Do not patronize me, lecherous swine! I acquiesced for the good of the alt community. Your reckoning is approaching!

Hm, there's no need for all that, Miss T. If you'd like to get 'reacquainted', all you have to do is let me know .

Stop by the Security Office if you'd like...you remember where it is

*Sigh* Some things will never change.

Construction's going well, though. Keep up the good work, everybody.

No, they don't.

But at least I'm doing a good deed with building this place!

Jillikers, Cobie! First you have me use my Luck Lord to manipulate the wrestling match so you don't have to date her, now you're hitting on her?

W-WH-WHAT?????

He intentionally threw the match?

That's it! I'm OVERTHROWING the TRIUMVIRS!!!

And I'm castrating the first 'luck lord' I get ahold of!

He didn't intentionally throw the match. He fought as hard as he could, lest he face the wrath of Bast.

For some unknown reason, when I'm in need the Luck Lord occasionally appears to help even things up! Since, ordinarily, I'd be no match for Cobalt Kid, that must have been what happened on this occasion. For some reason I temporarily became much stronger than normal, and was able to defeat him!

Practice your shurg, Ester. I'm going to make you earn this peace.

Oh, I'm looking forward to it.

That's it, EDE! Flirt away!

There was no throwing Miss T! We've moved past the overthrowing stage! Now it's time to get ready for the Homecoming hi-jinks that'll take place in the a few days...drama and all!

As long as EDE is looking forward to having me on his arm, I'm content.

FOR NOW!

Take your shirt off when you address me, foul Cobaltus!

~tst tst~

Such anger and frustration.

After conferring with Space Ranger, I'd like to report the following:

Psyche is the ancestral homeworld of all alts.

Prominent Alt holidays:
LARDLAD's Birthday

Superego Liberation Day which celebrates the Alts victory against the forces of Greybird

Space Tart's Feast Day which encourages road trips and debauchery

Prominent Alt traditions:

Alt children receive a new name on each birthday as the last present they open...

The Alt Pledge of Allegiance is dedicated to Princess Crujectra...

I pledge allegiance to the shield of Cru,
And to the Icon for which it stands:
One community on Legion World,
Where Truth and Justice prevails.

Sentients,

This new center is a marvelous start towards improving relations between the Real Posters and the altID community.

Miss T you are to be congradulated for your fine work here.

Cobalt, EDE, Kid Prime, Abin, HighPriestessViviane, and all the others who made this possible with their hard work and dedication to the well being of All inhabitants of Legion World should be awwarded the highest honors LW has to offer for their fine work!

Truth and Justice shall Prevail
(steps off soap-box)

"Hrun likes this place"

Knocks space ranger playfully on the head.

Absent mindedly pockets some un claimed gold decorations and a large flagon of wine.

It's beautiful, a wonderful job.

Excellent holidays announced, Miss T!

Even Lardy, a non-alt ID, will be pleased!

And now that Space Ranger is here, the real festivities can start for the Alt ID community.

I'm really proud of this place!

I think honoring LARDLAD, who is the jeenyus behind many of the best alt-IDs on this board, is a great idea!

The above ideas were mostly Spacer's with me adding little nuances. I wrote the pledge myself. And I got the line about road trips from the LMBP Continuity.

Well, everything is just perfect Miss T, great job.

I'd like to encourage ALL Alts to visit. We'll be opening this coming Monday and I'd like to get an understanding as to the needs of my constituency. We've struggled individually. Now, we must continue our struggle as a people.

Good morning, Legion World!!!

Welcome to Opening Day of the Giant Squid Memorial Center for the Advancement of Alt-ID Culture. Or, as we affectionately call it, the Squid Center. *applause*


I encourage all Alts and Alt-friendly LMBers to take the podium and share any stories or experiences with Alt-ID culture.

We'll be here all day and refreshments are being served in the Main Ballroom.

There are also several Galleries featuring the exhibits of Alt-artists.

The Antiquities Room showcases archaeological relics and treasures of the Alt community.

And there is the Living History Diorama which re-enacts great moments in the timeline of Alt-IDs.

More will be unveiled as the Center develops. For now I turn the podium over to...

Am I the first guest here for the festivities?

A toast to all our alt-IDs, the frantic heart and ebullient soul of the MMB.

And may we all celebrate our inner alt-ID!

Looks great!

Thank you for the beautiful sentiments, FC & Vee. A very, VERY special guest will be taking the podium today.

**Purr**

And that would be ME!

My Fellow LMBPer's,

First off I would like to thank all of you for coming today, I know that many of you have extremely busy schedules and I'm personally delighted to see that such a large number of you managed to fit this gala celebration into your busy schedules, Thank You!

As the only altID to hold elected office here on Legion World, (or if you prefer within the LMBP Community) I feel I am uniquely Qualified to address the issue of relations between the altID Community, the Feline Community, and the Real Poster's Community.

In my opinion, the single overriding issue here is the availability of Cat Food at Café Cramer!

Now please understand that I would never, EVER, say a disparaging word about my favorite sister, or her fine establishment, and I know that she has ordered a more than adequate supply of cat food for her feline clientèle.

So MY Question is, Which of the real posters has been eating the cat food? Is that person doing it knowingly? OR, is it a simple mistake? Personally I think it has to be a simple mistake.

I mean it is very easy to confuse premium choice goose liver cat food with Pate, and snarf it down on crackers.

(Pauses speech to lap up water from bowl on podium)

**Purr**

**Purr**

(Licks whiskers clean, resumes speaking)

Another area I would like to address is the issue of altID on altID violence. Technically Speaking this is not an issue which comes under the broad umbrella of relations between the altID Community, the Feline Community, and the Real Poster's Community.

It is however, an issue which is exacerbated (how many of you are surprised I know that word?) by the lack of respect for altID rights displayed by a very small portion of the Real Poster's Community!

Now I am fully cognizant of the fact that without the aid and support of Real Posters, altID's would be extinct... My kind would have long since vanished from LW if it were not for the aid and support of the vast majority of the real posters on LW.

That does not however exonerate the few who think that they can manipulate us for their private amusement, and force us to take part in mock battles and Barbaric Pussy Hunts!

(Pauses for dramatic effect)

Unless of course it's done in a humorous way... Then it's fine with me!

Thank you, I'll open the floor for questions now...

Nice speech Stoopid Cat, but I really was hoping the "very special guest" would be Grendel...

**Purr**

There will be other speakers today Lou, I'm just the first!

Grendel, Who Knows?

But there will be a surprise speaker, Later.

***PURR***

What a lovely Center! Legion World can always use more culture

I have no Alt-ID's, but I consider myself to be "Alt-friendly". After all, I am escorting an Alt to the Homecoming Dance!

Ah, the real princess, Lady Crujectra has joined us, everyone.

And she has brought the snapparazzi in droves. Thank you, Lady, the Center will benefit from the media coverage.

Please take a champagne flute and enjoy the center.
--------------

Thank you very much, Stoopid Cat, for your words. I love seeing the feline community join our celebration.
--------------

And, Lou, it would please us all if Grendel chose to speak at the Center's opening. I fear, for EDE's sake, however, that it was Grendel's power of Super-Lurking that gained him membership in the LMBP.

Alt-Friendly is certainly one way of putting it, Loser dear

Hmmm... Lady Crujectra... I kinda like the sound of that...

Does that make you Alt-rosexual, Lou?

I think it just makes him chronically horny, dear.

Not that I'M complaining, mind you

Ah, did I forget to a certain long-standing on again-off again Alt-ID romance?

I think that about sums it up!

As a long-time friend to the Alt ID Community, I'm very pleased to see this establishment open. I'm very proud that the money of the Triumvirs has been used to fund such a great undertaking.

Many Alt IDs are my best friends--for instance, Space Ranger is a close friend and partner at the Security Office and I actually married an Alt ID, Space Tart, and made her my wife!

I look forward to more speakers!

Great job, Stoopid Cat, you've raised some very important issues, specifically alt Id on alt ID violence!

Menacing aside...

I'd like to practice a little Alt-ID on Alt-ID violence on that heifer, Space Tart! Oh, the torture of being a shameless hussy attracted to a married man *dramatic sigh*

<Silent Cat laughter>

Human Mating Rituals are SOOOOOO Much fun to watch!

<Silent Cat Laughter>

They're even more fun to take part in, as I'm sure your owner can attest.

I'd like to think Danny Blaine of the Beacon and Fat Cramer of Cafe Cramer for the exquisite foods and professional service, as well as Semi Radiant Fellow of SHAKES for the libations and joie de vivre!

Congratulations to Alt-ID's everywhere! This is quite a nice place you have here, and such a festive opening gala.

Thank you, Matt! I encourage more Alts to take the podium.

An excellent gathering!

A toast in hopes that the unification between actual posters and Alt-IDs may develop further!

Legion Worlders,

It's a great honor to be speaking at the opening of the this important and beautiful addition to Legion World. As most of you know, I have long harbored close ties to the Alt-ID community, having spent my formative years on Psyche being raised by Alt-IDs whom I believed to be my family. And in fact they were, and not just figuratively, for years later I would discover that my long lost twin brother, Lardlad, was in fact the ancestral forebearer of Psyche.

Since the founding of Legion World I have tried my best to act as mediator between the alt and real poster communities, and many things that have happened in recent months have greatly concerned me. Tensions between the two populations on Legion World have been significant in recent months, and I can only hope the founding of this center is a step in the right direction towards calming them.

I must think my fellow Triumvir, Cobalt Kid, who more than anyone helped in brokering the peace that led to the foundation of this center. To Miss Terious, I give my undying admiration and affection, as well as best wishes in the running of this center. To Space Ranger, spiritual leader of alt-IDs, I offer thanks for his hard work on their behalf. I know him to be a man of peace, though one that will fight when challenged. I have heard that there is a third person who be working with Miss T and SR as part of the new leadership of the alt-ID community, and I'm curious to see who it is.

Let us give thanks, Legion World, for all the blessing that have been bestowed upon us, and in particular for peace and prosperity in a turbulent world.

Thank you.

Here, here!

Those of you that know me know that I give speeches a lot. So I promise that this will be quick!

For too long as there been an uneasiness in the relationship between alt ID and non-alts. This does not have to be! I've worked hard, and seen others work equally as hard, to broker peace with the alt ID community, and I hope this new trend leads to a bold new era of peace and justice for one united community of the two groups.

I can assure you that this place will always be funded, and always be open to any alt IDs looking for a home.

Thanks are in order to Eryk Davis Ester, who helped establish and fund this venture, Miss Terious for agreeing to run this center, and Space Ranger, who has always been the heart and soul of the alt ID community. Also, Outdoor Miner's enthusiasm for setting this place up, and Stoopid Cat's excellent speech in kicking off the festivities are greatly appreciated.

Alt ID's, we salute you!

Sorry I'm late.

I must say, the place looks wonderful. You've all outdone yourselves. And that's saying something.

And now, I think I'll just stake out a spot at the buffet. Carry on, folks.

So, for the grand entrance...

<a sudden chill comes over the room, dispelled just as quickly by the heat of flames rising in the center of the reception area; the smell of brimstone fills the air>

<suddenly a large Victorian bed appears in the center of the room; standing on the center of the bed, a form, very feminine, and dressed in black leather and a flowing cape and two whiplike belts dancing behind her.>

<the flames subside; the female steps off the bed and approaches the podium>

So... what brings me to Legion World, you might ask? Well, to bring legitimacy to this new joint they needed someone who could serve as a connection to the ancestral heritage of the alt-IDs. As a card carrying member of the House of Lard, I got the call.

I look forward to working with Miss Terious and Space Ranger.

Oh, and keep a close watch on your privates, fellas.

<leans back on bed, then rolls over to the side, resting her head on her arm; the bed begins to levitate, then spins increasingly rapidly, before disappearing>

..and that's the exit.

Who let the Satana in?

Ummm... Just how closely is she planning on working with me?

Miss T, you didn't say anything about this...


Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Just what are her powers, again? Something else else about dropping beds out of the sky?)

That was certainly one kinky bed, at any rate.

Something else else seems to be up with Lucy though. Just where is she off to already on Legion World?

Future, I believe the words to describe her motives is, take over.

Wow. She could have just said that and saved herself a lot of words.

Still, I think the grand opening of the Giant Squid Memorial Center is a huge success. It seems Lucifer Lass is here to at least encourage this showcase of Alt ID culture!

Lucifer Lass - our dear Lucy - has come to Legion World to join with myself and Space Ranger in forming a Trinity to lead the Alt-ID community.

I, in my role as political leader; Space Ranger in his role as spiritual leader; and Lucifer Lass in her role as ancestral leader and figurehead to the Alts!

Glorious day! Oh, glorious day!

*Gulp*!

You do realize, PP, that Lucifer Lass is a crazy, sadistic, manhating terrorist with an obsession with destroying certain parts of the male anatomy?

Well, then, I'll have to change 'outfits,' for the next time I see her. And Lucy and I may share similar goals, EDE! After all, what good is a man really?

*Gulp*! I'd hate to be Space Ranger right now!

great place you got here. Love all the showcases and exhibts on Alt-ID culture.

We'll keep Space Ranger alive for Nostalgia Night and breeding purposes.

So how does that make her any different than most of the other LMB ladies?

HEY!

I resemble that remark!

She's not just doing it to get revenge on Cobie.

Ah. Duly noted!

Hate to point this out to you but at the moment you don't really resemble one of the LMB ladies at all...

Hey!

Cobalt Kid isn't the reason why I want to crush male bits, either!

Why I hardly even notice the repugnant little creep most days. In fact, I hardly feel spurned at all by the loathsome toad.

Lou, my male Alts need to increase their post counts too. Besides these masculine outfits go a long way in helping me remain committed to my vows as a nun in the Order of the Breasted Virgin convent! That reminds me, Sister Mary T. is due at the LW Orphanage later. I guess I better go grab a drink at SHAKES first!

I don't know how chaste you look in that bustier thing. Might you consider something in a containment suit?

Do my man-breasts entice you matlock? We all wear containment suits of God's love, after all.

Hm, there is some honesty to this. Of course, how long before I can't help myself hitting on Lucy?

Really? Great! I was thinking of orgainizing a picnic with Space Tart. Want to come?

And Lucifer Lass on Legion World won't be good for anyone...mark my words. We'll see when the first victim is found crunched in an ally with a huge bed on his head and his penis ripped off...

(Good luck Ranger! Call me if you need help!)

Did that thickheaded cretin really just invite me to join him on a picnic with his wife? Maybe I should join them and then share the lewd details of my tryst with Cobie to Tart over potato salad.

Maybe she'll join me in neutering the cretin.

Jeepers Miss T! You're spending too much time with Thora and Lucy!

And besides, I thought it was transparent that I was going for the threesome angle

I think I got your subtle undertones Mr. Kid.

I was intimating, rather transparently, that I'd be going for the castration angle.

Yeah, like Space Tart doesn't know that Cobie cheats. She cheats too (occasionally even with me). They both know they have an open relationship.

It's retro-kewl to be a swinger these days!

Lou summed it up pretty well! And even when we get mad about it, we just have great make-up sex!

And castration angle? I don't know...a few hours alone and I think I can get you singing a different tune...

Waid and Kitson are retro-cool. Cobie is a philandering dog of a cretinous male!

I'm not surprised that you would identify with Cobie's flaw in a postitve manner, Lou.

Oh, and Lou...

Catch!

I am quite... im-immune... to your (quit looking at me like that!)

I am impervious to your advances, Cobaltus!

(no, really stop looking at me like that *tee hee*)

Ummm, excuse me, I need to go recite my vows of chastity, now.

Right back at ya Misty...

Magnetically contains the explosion.

Lou! A GRRR!nade explodes with the full force of my disapproval; whereas, an X-bomb EXPLODES!!!

Overkill, much? I'm glad I have you magnetically secured over in the Watercolor Memories gallery. I'll have to teach you some manners.

Three GRRRnades = 1 X-Bomb. At least that's what they taught me in my combat training.

Well, okay then.

In that case, I won't give you the magnetically controlled iron enema.

I appreciate that...

Lou, should I change my name from Miss Terious to O.W.L. Girl (One Woman Legion)?

You could, but I like Miss Terious. I think the name suits you.

I do like being called Misty. It's groovier than my real name.

Still, One Woman Legion/O.W.L. Girl and a Lydda Jath avi would be cool.

Not like you're lacking in ID's to try the look out on! Most of us still seem to call you Miss T. or Misty no matter what form you post in anyway.

Have you ever been anyone other than Loser Lad? Other than slight changes like Loser Logan, that is.

Here no. During the first LMB reboot back on the DCMBs I was breifly turned into Loser Snake.

But always a Loser theme. Maybe you should be reimagined as Lotto-Winner Lad!

I wouldn't mind that in real life, of course.

But yeah, always some variation of Loser Lad. That's my character, derived from my own self-deprecating sense of humor. I enjoy playing the underdog that still somehow manages to come out on top.

I believe you when you describe yourself as a dog, cretinous Lou, but you shan't end up on top of me! *HMMMPH*

Eventually I'll wear you down.

I don't tire, easily, Lou. Two of my little-known powers are Super-Stamina and Insatiability!

Funny, I've also been known to exhibit a degree of both...

By the way, you're really not giving me any reason to think this would be anything but a good idea...especially with all this talk of stamina and insatiability...

I'm just telling you about my powers.

Daxamites have super-strength and invulnerability, I have super-stamina and insatiability. And a Legion of Alt-IDs. And GRRR!nades . And the power to stomp on toes! And, lest we forget, sweet cherry pie!!!

Golly! If I didn't know how busy Nighty is and backlogged on graemlins, I'd request a :sweetcherrypie: graemlin. *sigh* A girl can dream.

Can't forget the sweet cherry pie!

a girl's face (Dream Girl-ish?) would appear, quicly replaced by a cherry pie disc that wanes and waxes like the color disc, then it would appear so that the viewer saw the pie at eye level with a big slice removed and gooey cherry filling!!! That'd be so cool!

*pppuuuuurrrrrrrr*!

What a pretty pussy! May I stroke your nethers, little kitty?

*meow*

<rubs up against leg of Kid Magnetic>

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww, I love kitty witty bitties!!!

Kneels and rubs Jinx's belly, stroking him sweetly. *tee hee*

*puuuurrrr*

<begins to lick hand of Kid Magnetic>

Oh, Jinx, if only I could find a male human sentient as wonderful as you. *dreamy sigh*

My, you really seem to like it when I stroke your nethers.

<leg begins to thump rhythmically in response to Kid Magnetic's stroking>

Mating habits of Alt Id felines are so strange.

That's so cute! I wonder if cats like sweet cherry pie.

<silent cat laughter>

*mreow*?

I'd invite you to sit on my lap, Jinxie, but I'm wearing Braalian today and you might not like it as much as my usual attire.

Golly! I wonder what Eryk would say if he found me stroking his pussy's nethers.

And I thought I was crossing the line in that other thread...

Jinx is the alt-ID pussy(cat) of another poster, rokk!

*tee hee*

I'm confused. Does that mean you are stroking yourself?

Sorry, *your* pussy alt-ID is Catspajamas... so you are stroking someone else.

Jillikers, KM! Why are you laughing at him? It's unkind, as well as puzzling!

Egads! Miss T is like a big, beautiful ball of catnip it would seem.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I'm not the only poster to have Alt-IDs. I probably have the most but LOTS of posters have other IDs.

Jinx, the pussy(cat), belongs to a separate poster from me. And when I say that I'm stroking his pussy's nethers, I'm really saying that I'm petting the underbelly of his cat.

It just reads better the other way.

Lordy, you're gonna be so surprised by some of the stuff you'll read.

Such as: Would you like to try my sweet cherry pie, rokk? I hope you brought a big spoon and a hearty appetite!

Or I'm a legendary corksoaker and I'd love to soak your cork, right now!

Or I heard you have a Super Moby Dick... of Space!

Or would you like to pet my cooter*
[*cooter is a southern colloquialism for a river turtle]

I'm sure there's plenty more, too!

*Gasp*! I'm sure Rokk Steady is shocked by the crazy innuendo and flirting on this board!

Well if he wasn't before...

Eryk would you like me to stroke your nethers? Jinx seemed to enjoy it.

While I'm doing that, I'll tell you all about my favorite hobby of soaking cork, especially the Super Moby Dicks... of Space!!! *tee hee*

Oh, yes, EDE, I am shocked, just shocked, by this kind of behavior! You know me so well!

My delicate sensibilities are rokk'd by Kid Magenta's filthy, disgusting fingers, typing all this "cherry dick soaker of cooterville" nonsense.

I'm not sure I can allow myself to come back here...

... b/c that is my *real* i.d., and I should post here with my alt id instead...

now lay it on me, "unknown" holder of many alt ids... do your dirtiest... trust me, i can take it

Struggles to catch breath...

Ummm I don't know if I can top that!

Just relax and let me confirm if you are really magically delicious. *tee hee*

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Arial, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Arial, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Kid Magnetic:
<strong> Ummm I don't know if I can top that!

Just relax and let me confirm if you are really magically delicious. *tee hee*

Well, since EDE never responded to my request to stroke his nethers...

I'll just take Rokk's lemons and make lemon yogurt! *chirp of innuendo*

Does your tail always flap in the wind when you are excited?

Your chirps of innuendo will become moans of ecstasy as you craft the yogurt of which you speak.

<marquee behavior=alternate> </marquee>

Mmm-hmmmm.

I'm tempted to go spank, Lashkins, but I'm more tempted to show Rokk my powers of Super-Yogurt-Making!

Let's do both.

Lash-spanking first.

Let's get him!!!

Shouldn't be too hard...

*smack* *smack* *smack*

*smacKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK*

***
Your turn, KM

Can you reach around that far?

MMMPHurkl GLRMPH FERMPH GLEE!

*tee hee!* Look how pink my buttocks are after all that spanking!

I declare that the Alt community and all Alt-friendly posters need to read Future's LMBP: The Movie thread in Bits. It's good.

As the very first Alternate ID to ever be accepted into the LMB and in general, I’m very pleased to see this center opened! I hope other alt IDs can follow the lead of myself and other prominent alt IDs, such as Space Ranger.

As for a war between the two, that’s just preposterous. Frankly, things like that are beneath me…much like Cobalt Kid is most of the time (yes Miss Hissy, that’s directed at you )

My advice to Alts is to do what you have to in order to make a place for yourself in this world, and don’t let anything hold you back. If someone had said something to me when I first started out, I would have pulled a bomb out of their ass and handed it to their corpse!

*titter of amusement*

So, kids, is anyone going to use this place for anything other than flirting and speechmaking?

Any suggestions you'd like to share, Spinning Jenny?

Our purpose is to advance alt-ID culture, right? We should develop a positive program for improving the status of alt-IDs.

We find problems. We fix them.

For example: The MMB is the forum most frequented by alt-IDs, right? And there's something like ten advisors here, right?

Why are none of them alt-IDs?

I'm sure several of the advisors have Alts.

Isn't it up to Scott and Gary to decide who the advisors are?

Indeed.

Clearly.

So, how's Tricks?

Lucy, as the ancestral figurehead of the Trinity, perhaps you should "knight" a different alt every month. You've obviously been around a while and I feel you could properly select good candidates and give good reasons why they should be recognized or spotlighted that month. Sirs and Dames in the alt community could be fun!

Not a bad idea. Some people might not trust me with a sword, but it sounds fun.

Did anyone notice who the new advisor is?

Holy crap. Even *I* didn't notice that!

Your telling me that they just made you an advisor, they didn't tell you or give you a reason?

Pretty much. I told Gary earlier that I would help if he needed another Advisor for the MMB. Since Future moved over to Spaceopoly I guess there was an opening.

So, now I have real power...I wonder what I can do with it...

You could ban me. We all know you've been waiting for the chance to do it. So go ahead, do it, if your man enough.

Actually, I don't have that kind of juice. I think the founders are the only ones who can ban someone.

And Viv, I would never ban you. You're still my special girl!

Everybody's moving up but me. Well, I guess I am the on Legionnaire! in the posting ranks, that has to count for something.

And somehow you managed to leave me in the dust in post count. Congrats on 3100 and beyond!

Thanks, one day when I'm totally not old and gray, I will be an advisor. (all this is said with stars in her eyes)

(Donates a new relic to the Antiquities Room.)

Alt-IDs. Bring me your concerns.

Closed.

No more of that goofy Lucy Lass' bedknobs and broomsticks, thank goodness!

I'll consider renovating the place at my leisure. Perhaps I'll open talks with Pizzazz.

And now you turn your back on the alt ID community? To think, some of us trusted you!

Space Tart

(light blasts Space Tart)

Dark Tarts bug me.

Now what about talking with Pizzazz, Myriad?

Well, Pizzazz, I've been thinking. This Squid Center was the idea of two dorky men who just wanted to propagate the "legend" of their past adventures. It's never been about me or for me. Not to mention Space Ranger flaked out and left me high and dry. And, who in the heck is Lucifer Lass??? Probably CK or EDE. She's creepy and hard to work with, either way. If those boys want a Squid Center to trot their alts out and reminisce about legendary nelly caps, so be it!

And now that greedy CK and EDE have apparently bought up all the open land of LW, why should I use my private property to house one of their establishments???

Therefore, I'd like to form a business relationship with you. Let's open an establishment that we will enjoy. If anyone else digs it, coolio! And, if no one likes it but us, it's still better than feeding the egos of those small-weaponed males.

How about a theater, or a miltant base?

OH, A Fashion Magazine!

What are your ideas?

A military base *slash* playhouse IS exciting!

I'm an administrative, organizational, behind-the-scenes, occasional good idea-having planner.

You're creative, talented, and dynamic!

What is the most unique service the two of us could provide Legion World?

Yes, it will be like Playboy Models that pose nude and then pic up guns and shoot people we don't like.

I'm loving it.

But what about a service for LW?

Perhaps a beauty salon? Hair styling, nail styling, and cancer-free skin tanning.

Or a maid service - no, scratch that. I'm bored with fulfilling male fantasies for the moment.

Something else else girl power without the carnage (at least for now.)

A fashion study. We'll have the babe of LW show off what the got for nothing. Pose how ever they like in front of the camera.

A beauty salon and a fashion studio.

What would we call it?

The Woman's Empowerment Center?
-Where you can truly be a woman.

I would never get my hair done in a place called that.

What about Ladies First?

That's good, just add center or club at the end and we have perfection.

But if we are a girls club, then no men will be allowed in?

I want this to be a business and, let's face it, at least 9 out 10 Legion Worlders are men. More than that if you don't include the fake alt females.

What about Head Rush? Get your nails done, get your hair did. Cancer-free tanning and glamor shots too.

Ok, or the Fashion Shoppe, Beauty Shoppe?

But Head Rush is good. Or Flash Rush (incoperating the glamour and business side)?

We could try something cutesy like Helen and Troy's Unisex Salon. That would bring us the most clientele. Imagine if our little thread got as popular as SHAKES or Quis, Esq. or Vee's Villa.

I'm a beauty school dropout myself but I can totally hire a droid staff to service hair and nails. Tanning tesseracts to darken the pigment of any sentient.

How are you going to handle the glam shots/photography? Perhaps themed photo shoots? Glam rocker to space cowboy to runway diva to family portraiture, maybe.

My cousin is photographer, so she'll be doing that, and I like to design clothes, so people can try on my latest stuff. Ok, let's do this the name should incorperate us, Helen and Troy is good. But could we make it more personal.

They've not so much "bought it" as "planted their own flags there." I have several loaded and ready seriously upgraded B-52 bombers which I can place at your disposal if you need any of "their" land cleared...

I'd prefer making it more personal but both of us change our names a lot.

What could we compromise with?

Reboot, I like how you stand up for your independence. Express yourself!!!

I like Helen and Troy, or Beauty and the Beast?

Hmmmm, "Beast" would allow us to groom the STU dogs and Miner bugs of Legion World.

Cool!

Beauty and Beast Unisex Salon, then?

Perfection, you also forgot to count Cobalt in the list of beast.

Myriad and Reboot attempting to destroy more property again? Jeez, these two are like the Cobra and Mr. Hyde of LW...

I'm extremely sad to see the Squid center close on LW. I think it served a great purpose and could really be an important center fot the alt community here. I'd like to see it stay open.

Are you going to just change the name of this thread? Technically, we still own the building, so you can buy it off of us if you'd like...

If you're starting a new thread, will the Center remain open in the future? Or should we open a new building for the Alt Center (re: new thread)?

Despite all this strange competing, I do want to look out for the alt community on LW and keep relations strong b/t them.

When you talk about me, your mouth seems to water a little Pizzy. Is your body trying to tell you something your mind is having a hard time accepting?

Opps, I put too much lip gloss on, let me fix that, sorry to get your hopes up dear.

CK -

I'm closing the center and re-opening it under the name Beauty & Beast Unisex Salon, the latest venture from myself and Pizzazz.

If the Triumvirs would like to re-open the Giant Squid Memorial Center for the Advancement of Alt-ID Culture (i.e. a new thread), well, as you've pointed out, it is under your ownership.

Pizzazz, are you sure you want to begin our working relationship by flirting with that Ggrrggian oaf?

We will want to re-open it, so I'll begin that process momentarily. I'm sorry to see that you no longer wish to be a part of such an important facet of the LW community.

I do wish you and Pizzy the best though, despite the two of you being unable to control yourselves in my presence, usually resulting in you both hurling insults to cover your obvious lust.

Thanks for the good wishes, Cobie, I'll have to set up a photo session with you sometime.

**Purr**

Would anyone like to groom me?

Pizzy, I swear I don't know what you see in him.

Oh, well, even though the oaf has stolen our thunder let's open this puppy up anyways.

**Purr**

Opening up puppies? I like the way you think!

LOL! We've missed you SC!

Gross and Welcome.

Someone will be with you shortly.

Pizz, I had a last minute inspiration and called the place the Beast to Beauty Unisex Salon. If you hate it, I'll change it.

Welcome to Beast to Beauty. All sentients - whether they be male, female, or transgendered and human, humanoid, or non-humanoid - will find this salon perfect for their hair styling and nail styling needs. Haircuts, dye jobs, perms, extensions, mannies, peddies, pet grooming - we do it all! Well, not "we" as in me or Viv but "we" as in our very capable droid staff.

Also, enjoy our exclusive cancer-free tanning tesseracts. They darken any sentient's pigment at least 3 shades in seconds.

And now, I turn the floor to my partner, Pizzazz who will explain our holography services and her fashion design label.

Future endeavors will include our own cosmetics and perfume line!

Hello and Welcome! As you know I am a famous and successful rock star and I thought it would be great to lend my name to this piece of genius. I also act and model and thought that it was time to take my variable fashion sense to the markets. So, this place also allows you to shop for clothes from my very own fashion line, which includes an assortment of womens and mens clothes and accessories, including: hats, jewelry/watches and shoes.

You can also get you picture taken by the photographer upstairs, my band mate, Roxy. She does excellent work. [img]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v466/pizzazztiger/roxycamera.bmp[/img]

I love the name.

I'm too pooped to grand open anything. I'll just set the droids to finish installing the equipment and busy myself with setting up my office. This was a great idea, Pizz. to our new venture!

Yes, and speaking of offices, I'm going to need the top floor for mine, hope that won't be a problem.

Already cordoned off just for you. I call it the Pizzazz Penthouse.

Perfect. And where is your office located in case I need to get ahold of you?

You can reach my office through the supply closet. The supply closet contains a tesseract to Misty's World.

It's a big planet but I'll know when you or anyone is on it.

It nice to see that you two are now best girlfriends. Can we expect sleep-overs anytime soon? (I'm picturing LuAnn and Bernice) or maybe the Stockard Channing Slumber party from Grease.

Would you like a petty now, Semi?

What's a petty? Is that where you like soften my toenails in dove dishwashing liquid and then trim and polish them?

Yes and they will look nice and shiny.

Great, and what about this gray hair at my temples. Can you make it blonde?

I'll make them whatever color you want, any thing for a dear like yourself.

Well thanks, Pizzazz. You sure do know how to make a guy feel special (and to make sure you get a big tip. )

Why thank you, now that we know what you want let's get started, right this way, Andriod 4 will help you.

What, a droid? I thought I was going to get the personal touch from the world reknowned Pizzazz herself.

Me? I guess I could try (where is Myriad, she said she could do this).

Sit here and I'll get the dye.

Oh-oh! What have I gotten myself into?

(Pizzazz gets to work, she silently leaves while a droid finishes the job, she comes back and finishes him up, he looks perfect and no one's the wiser)

What do you think?

Fabulous! And I'd say that even if I weren't gay.

Thank you, now that you look fabulous, why not look glamourous, upstairs is my totally awesome clothing line, check it out.

Oh alright, take me up there and force me into an Armani suit.

If you insist ~force force~.

Hee hee, perfection becomes me, I mean you.

This is great, but a Zegna pullover would look really nice with it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah and this diamond studded watch, and yes that is real gold.

I'll need a couple of Ike Behar shirts - and help me pick out some ties. That's always the hard part.

Well, ties, you'll need a basic black, a navy blue tie, and a crimson one, for the more showy occasion.

I like subtle ties. Show me what you have.

Subtle, how about this classic royal blue or this forest green, very stylish and both are able to be used for any occassion, wether it's work, or a dinner party.

Now we have to talk about shoes and a belt.

You can't go wrong with a black belt, and as for shoe, what are you looking for, casual, fancy?

Well, with a suit, I like lace ups. Allen Edmonds makes some nice dress shoes. Size 11 for me.

Size 11, there you go.

And here is a unique pic of the lovely owners of this establishment.



Emerald Pizzazz (the hair came out brighter than I thought, should've been closer to my avatar)

AND...



Emerald Myriad

How do you ever get any work done. I'd think all your time would be spent tucking yoursleves back into your costumes.

They slide right on.

Nice pics, Pizz.

I thought I should help, I'm not that artistically talented, but I thought I should help, I know you wanted pics of Myriad.

I like the brown hair. Did you color it or is that a Legionnaire as Empress?

I saw this and thought of you.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v466/pizzazztiger/mYRIAD.jpg

Um...I colored them, this was from a comic where Violet dreamed the Emerald Eye got Kinetix (that's Emerald Pizzazz) and the second one is that she dreamed that it got her (that's you).

I changed the hair color, the lip color and the flower in yours.

You know what it is?

Sheer perfection, thats what!

Thanks, but if your talking about the card, alas, I didn't draw it, but when you came out as Myriad, I looked all over for that card, it was in a box, want to know more about her?

Sure! Does she have heat vision or optic blasts or something?

No, her real name is Sasha Green, Lex Luthor II had her killed, parasites brought her back, she now can siphon or copy memories and powers (like Parasite), and she wants Luthor dead.

I like that. She's like Rogue from the X-Men, too.

Exactly, except blonde.

So who shall be the next customer, to get top quality results for top dollar?

Why don't you fix Ferro up with a new set of threads?

And don't forget to gossip. What's a beauty parlor without the 411?

I heard Cobie had implants put in.

I'm not gossiping about Cobbalt Kid. He already erroneously thinks that I have a vendetta against himself and EDE. Maybe with time, things will resolve.

Until then, I heard Teeds was goofing off earlier. Imagine that.

Ohh and then she started eating.

I never did find out what she was eating. I'm terribly nosey when it comes to people's meals. I always think maybe they're having something I've never had before or maybe it'll be something I've been unconsciously craving.

Well she had better stop that eating, because if she goes down that road, she'll have to drink a liquid like water, and then what is she going to do?

I know what you mean! If she keeps that behavior up, soon she'll have kiddies...

... to drop off at the pool!!!

Ewwwwwwwww, South Park humor is nasty!

Gross!

Mr. Hanky!

That is so nasty.

Cartman: "You're breaking my b@lls."

I can't wait to show Pizzazz these new spray-on nanites that change your hair color at a moment's thought.

Another packed day at the salon.

(Notices the droids busily working on various Legion Worlders:)

There's Outdoor Miner getting a pedicure from Boscoe.

Ferroboy and RTVU2 are in the chairs, getting new 'dos by Mr. Phillipe and Kitty.

And it seems Semi T. just got a 3 second deep tan.