Can't keep up with the madcap hilarity and hi-jinks of the MMB? Did life pass you by? Probably your own fault - you've had your nose buried in comic books for the last 30 years, haven't you? At least it's not too late to join Club Mid-Life Crisis.

Membership open to all those aged 45 years and older. We are a very select group. Younger posters are welcome if accompanied by an eligible member.

:Wink:

Um, 37 going on 67 according to wife and family. Does that count?

As a Founder I have to protest any restricted Clubs, especially those based on age. If we start that then we have to start kicking people out for being too old or too young, according to the Legion constitution.

Just post a hefty cover charge and you should be okay.

Can someone accompany me? I want to play too!

Well, now I'm really screwed

Bah! You're just jealous 'cause you're too young!

Rickshaw, you're in.

Cobie, you're welcome as long as one of us old coots is in the vicinity.

Golly! I'm broke and underage. Miss Cramer will you volunteer to be my eligible member. I'd ask Abin but he gets too excited when I say "eligble member."

I'll whisper all of the best MMB gossip into your ear!

Don't push the age issue with me. I can shut you down real quick.

And anyone who has been working since the age of 10, earning a real paycheck, like I have, isn't too young for anything.

Well, okay, LL - threats always work, at least until I get my space-lawyer working on it.

Miss T., same rule as applies to Cobie - you're welcome here as long as some oldster is on-line at the MMB.

Golly! Miss Cramer, I don't see any "oldsters," just "goldsters!"

(Tries to walk the line between genuine nicety and blatant @$$-kissing.)

I'm 44 next month FC, can I sneak in?

Close enough, Mrs. C B. and nice to have you here. As you can see, we're not particularly fussy, age-wise.

Perhaps I should open it up to people who are either (a) mid-life or (b) having a crisis. That would probably cover just about everyone.

Oh, and Miss Tricks - very nicely balanced...!

I guess I qualify age-wise. What a great club. I do think the underage guests should follow that wise old practice and "be seen, not heard." Just kidding.

BTW, when is one supposed to have a mid-life crisis. And are you allowed more than one. I think I had my first in my 30's when I went back to law school. Now, I think I'm having another because I don't want to be a lawyer anymore. Is it too late to be a cowboy or an astronaut?

If Semi gets to be a space cowboy, then I get to be a princess and I'll expect my knight in shining armor to come calling within the next 30 minutes.

Good luck.

"Goldsters" ha ha ha

We may be older and slower than you youngsters but always remember "old age and dirty tricks beat youth and enthusiasm every time"

Golly! What's all this moisture behind my ears?

That's the best straight line I've been handed in a year, but I just can't bring myself to run with it.

The sad thing is, even as much as I like to consider myself the Innuendo Queen, that one flew over my head till you pointed it out, Miner.

I would like to know, however, how wetness behind one's ears came to be equated with youth and inexperience. I would imagine it connotes newbornness but why did they forget to dry behind the ears?

Consarn Youngsters always making so much noise...

All that ohhing and ahhing, and moaning and groaning...

Oops, thats me in the john...

Okay which one of you whippersnappers recorded that!

From www.word-detective.com/back-c2.html

"Wet behind the ears," meaning inexperienced or naive, comes to us from the wonderful world of baby farm animals. It seems that the last part of a newborn horse or cow ("foal" and "calf" to the cognoscenti) to dry out after birth is the area behind the little critter's ears. Thus, to say that someone is "wet behind the ears" is a folksy way of saying that they lack the experience or savvy necessary to accomplish a task. The first published use of "wet behind the ears" in print dates only to the early 20th century, but most authorities believe that the phrase itself is much older than that and, like many folk sayings, was used in popular speech long before anyone used it in print.

This clarification brought to you by the management of Club M.L.C.

This looks like a niice spot. FC, I'm not 45 till next May, can I get on the waiting list or somthing.

Now that chair looks nice and comfy. ahhhhhhh! Where am I again?

Only twenty two years to go before I can join up! Looks like I'll have to have Far bring me until 2026!

FC, I hope you're not thinking of stocking the club with rockers. Some of us aren't quite ready to pass quietly into the second half of our lives. Put in a gym, will you?

Once again-

Too young to do anything fun...
and
Old enough to know better...

Yeah ! No Rod Stewarts or Mick Jaggers! Those guys are old!!!

See that's how old I am, I didn't even catch the double entendre. (Although Stewart and Jagger are way older than I am).

I'm only 37, but I ought to qualify. All the men in my family die at 74, so I'm officially halfway done. Doesn't get much more "mid" than that.

My father is convinced he has only 6 more years to live (he'll be 68 in December). My brothers and I try to convince him otherwise, but he doesn't seem to want to hear it. He got a clean bill of health in his last doctor visit, but he said grandpa was healthy as a horse till he died at 73 & 11 months, so that's no indicator.

Rockers? Rockers are for young parents with babies. Forget the rockers, as in chairs. We're past all that. If any grandchildren want to visit, they'll just have to crawl on the floor.
I was thinking about a hammock for the front porch, however.

As for musical rockers, we have a collection which caters to all tastes, including those with nostalgia for such 60s favourites as Jagger and Stewart.

Faraway, your early-onset short term memory loss guarantees you a place!

Omni C., don't fret about dying young, for heaven's sake! Get a guest pass and go work out in our top-of-the-line gym instead.

Miss Cramer's here so I think it's okay for me to sneak in this post.

Thank you for clearing up my "wbte" quandry.

Is it okay if I go ahead and hang the hammock on the porch? Maybe Cobie would like to join me?

Gosh FC you know, this is such a nice restful place away from all the ruckus the young un's make, someone ought to open a club just for the oldsters or something.

what? Whats that speak up gosh durned whispering, in my day children stood up when an adult entered the room, and spoke up! And they took their caps off an all.

Now where's that Hammock?

A hammock? Naw, that'll be for later in the day when it's nap time. For now though may I suggest port and cigars in the War Room? The fireplace, the comfy chairs and the robo-butler are sounding awfully attravtive right now.
...and none of that no-carb, low-fat, no-salt junk for lunch if you please.

I have the body of an 18 year old, but the soul and mind the was created at the beginning from the Fires Of Creation. Does that mean I qualify?

Yellow Kid, through the magic of Legion World, you may eat Beef Wellington and trifle to your heart's content at Club MLC, with no ill effects.

Viv, you're welcome here as a guest of course - but you really must be experiencing some of the early-creakiness and sagging energy of middle age to be a full-fledged member.

And I forgot to tell CJ that feeling too old to be young and too young to be old should qualify him as a middle ager, on probation. Maybe his mother lied about his birthdate...

Now, this is my kind of place. Pour this 45-ster a Rum and Diet Coke, if you please.

Does being whimsy-challenged qualify as being in a (somewhere-in-)life crisis? Around here, it does, methinks {rueful smile, as he sips his drink}

Mmmmmmmmm. Beef Wellington, yum yum. And a fully sherry trifle with "real" cream.

if you can promise me fresh baked thick cut breead with real butter and home made jam for breakfast, I may never eat anywhere else again.


Sit gingerly down in chair saving his aching back from further strain.

Far, are you still here?

Um...guess I better leave for a bit...

My get-up-and-go got up and went when I heard that middle agers get to eat so divinely with no ill effects.

Oy! My back, my aching back! May I have some more beef wellington, please?

Excuse me, Far, I'd like some of that fresh baked bread with extra real butter. *tee hee*

Most of use middle agers have to be very careful about what we eat in real life. I think it's only in this make-believe world that we can eat anything without ill effect. And beef wellington won't hurt you, as long as you don't each the crust.

But Semi, the crust is the best bit!

I brought a few bottles of fullbodied merlot that will go fabulously with this dinner.

Tackstar, you are an angel.

Uncorks bottle and pours two large glasses. This Beef is so tender. Yum Yum

Damnation, I enjoy everybody's company too much to keep this place age-restricted.

But we're still catering solely to the needs and interests of the oft-neglected middle-aged.

With this worlds doctors, I'll never sag.

ah, the unrestrained optimism of youth!

Either I have an old soul or Cramey's just a great host, because I'm feeling well catered to. *tee hee*

I'll get nipped, tucked, and injected with a tank load of botox before I look a day over 25.

Would anyone like to join me in a bountiful lobster and shrimp feast, today? It will be accompanied with real drawn butter, caesar salad, fresh bread, and an exquisitely dry chardonnay!

Excuse me you two, but there aren't any adults around. You'll have to leave with me.

how about the ones of us suffering a quarter life crisis....

Re-read the thread's title, Spunky.

It's no longer Age-Restricted. Now, pass the drawn butter, please.

Spunky?

I have a really good spunk comment, but I don't want to upset the older folks...

Gods, his arrogance is sexy! *swoons*

Ah, thanks but I've never been a huge seafood fan and I can feel my arteries hardening just thinking about all that butter. Nice of you to offer though.
I think I'll just kick it in the Smoking room for a bit and watch Matlock on the big screen plasma TV for a while.
Ahhhh...so relaxing.
...
...
...zzzzzzzzzz.....

Lobster sounds great, TS. I'll skip the butter and bread and put the lobster in the salad. You are such a good hostess. Must be that southern belle charm you have so much of.

Thank you, kindly, Semi T.! I'm almost sure though that, within the confines of Club MLC if not all of LW, that we are immune to the ill effects of fatty foods.

We don't age, either. It's all the beauty and power of vampirism, without the bloodsucking. Pretty good deal, actually.

Okay...Male test for age consideration...

What would you rather see...porno or burlesque.

If its porno, you are probably too young to get the full benefit of this club.

If its burlesque, you have started to age like a fine wine. You enjoy the natural beauty of life, and the tease that goes with it. The mind is stimulated much more than any other organ.

If its porno...go out and get a date.

If its burlesque, take the wife and enjoy a stimulating evening.

If its porno, go out to your clubs and your loud music and your wild dancin', ya young whippersnappers.

If its burlesque, sit back, enjoy an adult beverage for the taste and not necessarily the stupefy-ing effects, the art of the tease, and the joy of remembering when you had the energy to do something about it.

Next up, the ladies test...and since i am not a lady, lol, someone needs to find a good one for us.

What if one doesn't care for either?

You go to a Martin and Lewis Movie festival?

I may be old, but I'm not dead.

The Delicate Delinquent - one of my favorites.

I may be old, but I'm not dead. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Arial, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">

Then let me re-phrase, lol.

The STRAIGHT male...

I am a straight male.

Maybe Miner is coming out as an asexual*.

*Reboot posted an article about "asexuals" as a sexual minority in the Anywhere Machine forum.

Remember that life-expectancy test someone posted a while back?

Based on my lifestyle habits, and the corresponding life-expectancy results they generated, I'm already well past the time for a mid-life crisis...

Well geez Stu, hostess fruit pies, pez and combos is hardly the best diet...

With lifespans ever extending, due to modern medical marvels, what is mid-life? 40-45?

When I was young I was absolutely convinced I woouldn't see 40. I passed the mid-life part a long time ago. Now I'm charging through unexpected and uncharted territory. I really should have taken better care of myself.


Oh, and Burlesque definiitely. Smut really can't compare to a skilled striptease artist.

Middle age may well be more of a frame of mind than a particular demographic, but I'd think of it age-wise as 45 to 65. Perhaps there's an "official" definiton.

Just wait until I open up the even more exclusive establishment, Club Hot Flash!

Well, since i expect to kack off in my sixties due to family history, i am passing through my midlife now.

In comparison with what occurs on the boards, I probably am.

Bah! Excluded for being too young! The horror! I thought I left that all behind 13 years ago when I turned 21! *tears*

Ok coffin dodgers, time for to rest here a while, after all, "theres nothing on the Telly" in the afternoon except people trying to sell me no win no fee compensation.

so I'll just sit here in this large comfortable leather armchair, have a glass of Port and read a good book.

This one looks interesting, all about Alexander the Great. Its really.........ZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz

Don't tell me there's nothing to do in Newcastle in the afternoon. I'm sure you have ways of getting into trouble

He just hasn't learned enough French yet. Give him time.

There is a response to that straight feed line Miner, but I think I'll pass.

Don't forget the classical languages.

Hey, I see Pov and I have the same opinion of these nice comfy overstuffed La-z-boy chairs.
Now we just need a couple of sweet young things in Hellfire Club outfits and all is well.

Has you seen the upstairs maid yet? Hubba-hubba

Does this club have a Crisis and Contemplation Room where one can go in the throes of one's crisis to contemplate the rudderless course of one's life. (I tried not to make it about me. )

One may retreat to the peaceful silence of the Library and either stare at the roaring fire or out the bay window, contemplating one's rudderless drifting to one's heart's content, or discontent, as the case may be.

Point the way!

Just follow the sound of deep, mournful sighs, interspersed with gnashing of teeth. That'll take you to the Library, or to the Red Sox locker room.

Wow, it's crowded in the Library.

Nopbody here either. I guess nobody has a mid-life crisis on Saturday night.

The night is still young.

We aren't, but the night is.

Join me in the billiards room for a game and a single malt, Miner?

Sounds like a plan, Semi.

8 Ball? Better be 8 ball, because I don't know any other games. SHAKES Mobile is sending over a nice 12-year old -- scotch that is.

I've got the winner.

I think I can bluff through 8 Ball OK.

And why wait for the Mobile?

<reaches out hand, pulls it back, and lays a bottle on the pool table>

You want some shot glasses?

No I happen to have a couple of Baccarat whiskies. You want ice, soda, or straight up?

Yes.

Oh, I forgot, I'll need 3 whiskies for you One straight up, one with ice, and one with soda. Right?

Right.

If you like, I'll pour and you can break. How do you want yours?

Rocks, please.

And he breaks. I sunk the 2, so I get the lower numbered balls.

Here you go. Nice shot.

Sorry I had to duck out on the game, Miner. I'll give you that one and you're one up. More whisky?