...<smoke filters in and out of the room, as men in suits walk in and out discussing a variety of issues that my tear Legion World asunder!>

*chug*

I say if we can't get our colony L.E.G.I.O.N. World to lower the gin prices, we enslave their children!

All willing say 'Aye!'.

<roud of 'Aye's'>

Hear, Hear!

Next on the agenda...

I've warned you in the past about this foreshadowing stuff, Cobes. It never leads anywhere good.

Aw, but last time there was that whole 'Good, Dark and Dead'--oh, yeah. Stupid foreshadowing!

There was no foreshadowing on that part, just malice, evil, and for Miner, lice.

Leave my dietary habits out of this.

... ORDER... ORDER... ORDER...

The Insectoid is out of order,

The next item on the agenda is an apporpriations measure for future capital expenditures arising from the construction of LAGGED (LegionWorld Academy for Geniuses, Grievous Evil and Depraved)

I ask unanimous consent to allow the executive branch to make approriations neccesary for the timely completion of this project.

So Granted.

Next...

[Pacino/]

I'm out of order?

YOU'RE out of order!

This whole trial is out of order!!

[/Pacino]

I demand that the bug be turned human and become my mate for the duration of his lifetime!

The request cannot be granted at this time, however we will refer the matter to a Scientific Commission for feasability investigation and leave the bug in your custody until the report is returned.

(destroys the backroom discussionist, leashes OM, and wraps her body around him)

My precious...

Have we met?

I love you!

You must be confusing me with.......just about anybody else, really.

Nope, give me a hug!

*whispers* Run Miner, run!

CALIENTE!!!

Do you want me to pull your hair?

Back off my bug!

Eep!

I don't want your bug.

I'll just go over there and chill with Tamper Lad...

*scampers*

I'm sensing red skies...

Tamper Lad, I like him, he's got the spunk!

Now, they say I own Miner, so if he doesn't get over here, right now, for a hug that will include him grabbing my tit-tats, then I will have to call the po po!

Tit-tats?

Never mind. I got it. Just like Tic-Tacs, only bigger. And less minty.

Yay, and more creamy.

Hey!

"They" was Tamper Lad, who lies like a rug.

I was chairing the commission, which gave unanimous consent to place you in her custody until a science commission reports.

Your commission has no authority in such matters.

Where does it say that in a written constitution?

The bylaws of the Evil Genius institute allows for subjects to be held in custody while science investigations are underway. (subject to ethics committee review of course, but I'm chairing that one right now too)

The bylaws of the Evil Genius Institute mean precisely nothing on Legion World, which is where we are.

"Custody" is a legal status which you have no right to grant or remove.

I've been thinking along the same lines...

If you think I've overstepped my authority you are free to appeal.

Since you have no authority I'm free to ignore your decision.

Tamper Lad, dear, you have no authority, I'm not putting you down, it's just that in my sister's rage, she destroyed all the Backroom Discussionists, so their judgements are now null and void.

Miner, my sister has always been on the...more vital side, she has harmless crush on you, when you spurned her affections, it simply hurt her feelings.

Hey, this is the backroom for us high ranking government officials and millionaires to decide on policies that remain vague and ambiguous to the public, although highly beneficial to us!

Oh, and this is also the backroom where people like Cobalt Kid highly encourage the future wedding of Selene and Outdoor Miner!

Well, while I'm not sure if I'm a high ranking government official I am the highest ranking in terms of fabulousness and am filthy rich (how do you think I managed to get an extra dimensional palace that reforms itself at my whim? That don't come cheap mister) and well... it's been a bit quiet around here. I say if someone is willing to buy OM then who are we to stop them? It might make things a little more lively around here.

"Sometimes its worth it to take away ones freedoms if it means to take away our boredom" - Pinnacle Command II, the Dominion (date unknown).

So I do have authority, evil geniuses are allowed to make decisions without any accountability or the light of public knowledge.

Possession of Miner stands.

Sentience, shmentience call me when it affects me.

Well, no, not really. *But* if it amuses some of us then yes probably. Mind you most of the people around here have been evil geniuseseses at one point or another so we're probably not in any position to stand in judgement even if you were allowed to.

Dr Evil from Austin Powers springs to mind - and believe me, he does not make me "horny", baby!

Phoebe dear, your family must exercise some level of self control when on Legion World. Random acts of violence and/or murder are strictly prohibited under Legion World Law. Don't force the Security Office and/or the LMBP to intervene.

(What is it with the citizens of Avalon, anyway? Is there some sort of mineral in the water that gives one homicidal tendencies?)

Are they? Gosh, does everyone know that?

(goes to the door and shouts outside)

Darden, I think you should stop beating up Lash. Apparently it's not allowed.

With Lash, he was probably asking for it.

In writing no less.

Never mind, Darden. Since Lash was asking (perhaps even begging) for it, it was neither random, nor technically "an act of violence."

Resume. Enjoy.

I believe the only loophole is whacking. Whacking is generally allowed in most public areas of Legion World, according to the "Lucien Act" of 3005. So if Lash was getting whacked by Darden, then that would be allowed

The Security Office fully endorses and supports the 'Lucien Act'.

Cobie has been shown to be a Master Whacker when the need has arisen.

I may just go out and whack someone right now!

looks like miner's getting whacked right now.

Miner has been whacked for quite some time. It's nothing new

Hm...if by whacked you mean married, you might by right! I can't wait until he logs on tonight and sees the support for such an event!

*sniff*

A legal act about whacking named after me? I'm so proud.

Don't worry about it, she just killed the nameless, usless members that no one cared about.

Technically, dear, heroes like the LMBP are supposed to oppose the murders of anyone... even red shirts

Even the (gulp) new guys?

Øh Luna - you silly! You know LW cares about all of it's members - even the nameless, useless ones.

Even the (gulp) new guys?</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Arial, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Fear not LAM. You are neither nameless nor useless.

We couldn't kill of Grendel. Where has he been lately?

It's nothing personal. I spurn everyone's affections. It's just better for everybody that way.

Oh, thank you.

Next time your libido brings the hammer down on LW, you're on your own.

Has anybody received any annoying messages about board administrators issuing flood protection protocols? I type in a (hopefully) profound comment and when i send it to reply, i have to wait in a goddamned cue (or something)

Cobie, don't get me wrong, I'm all for OM and Selene getting hitched, but is the Security Force up for this?

You know how LW Weddings usually turn out...

(of course those weddings are usually yours...)

But I thought I could save you this time, as a gift for helping me in the past!

Well, quite frankly Abin, no--but can anyone ever truly prepare for something like this?

I do have anti-snake venom, scissors and k-y jelly just in case...

There will be no marriage, the bug is not worthy of my bloodline, but he's totally worthy of my friendship circle!

Guys, give it a day or so, those nameless and useless members will comeback, Selene has already talked to Anubis about it.

Thank you.

I guess.

You guess nothing, be thankful!

Mighty Hrun would ask of his Princess, "shall smiting also be allowed along side whacking? If I promise to only use the flat of my axe?"

Oooh!! Hey!! Can I marry Cobie next?

Marrying Cobie rarely turns out well, Gina dear. You might want to try sleeping with him, instead. It's safer. For everyone

Uh... unless she gets pregnant, that is. Not good at all...


P.S.
Yes, I realize that only 5-15 (depending on how one counts) out of every 6-16 (depending on how one counts) progeny of Cobie are demons, monsters, rapidly aging murderers, or some other danger. But still...

Speaking as a new member, and as an arbiter of responsible fatherhood: I demand that the next time Cobie spawns, the progeny emerge directly from him, close fully grown.

Well, this IS the 31st Century, after all. There is no excuse for accidental pregnancy. Of course, if you are looking to get back at Cobie, or sue him for child support or something...

Nothing so personal Princess, just a sense of ironic justice.

Hell hath no fury like an evil genius scorned

Mmmm...hi Gina

Jeepers! Cobie seems to have scared Gina off... she hasn't posted in ages!

Well, if you all hadn't opened your mouths about demon childs and weddings interupted by robots and seriel killers of the future that might not have happened...

(Jeez, a couple of odd events involving my children and my wives and suddenly I'm stigmatized... )

You have to admit, they make great campfire stories!