Legion World
Posted By: Set The Legion of Lightning - 07/26/17 11:50 AM
This is part one of a three part fic I've had in my head for a year now, but been too lazy/busy to write down. It's a Work in Progress, which is anathema to me, but at this point, I just need to get it started, and light a fire under my butt to finish it. I've got it outlined, and know how it ends, so it's just a matter of typing it down. So here goes...

Legion of Lightning - Breakout

“I try to make it through this life. In my way, there’s you.”

The planet was deceptively serene, wisps of white clouds over a globe of teal green seas and industrial tan building complexes, giving no indication that it housed some of the most feared criminals in this arm of the galaxy.

They had been waiting for over an hour in orbit over Takron-Galtos, and Dr. Jhene MahRo idly reviewed the security procedures that he’d already reviewed a half-dozen times. His thoughts turned to his charge, the singularly focused Min Dei An, who sat quietly, eyes shrouded with lack of sleep and close-cropped black bangs hanging utterly still, framing her inscrutable face, utterly calm in the face of the interview that would complete her graduate studies into singleton psychology. Gazing at the slender young woman, her golden skin gone sallow from lack of sun, he reflected how her studies had already cost her so much, after the accident on Korbal, where her twin sister’s research had been meant to isolate whether or not the unique electrical frequencies of the Korballan ‘lightning beasts’ could have had some exacerbative effect on Mekt Ranzz’s psychosis. The research outing had ended in tragedy when the security precautions failed catastrophically. Her original academic advisor had died protecting her students, and Min Dei had suffered so much neurological damage from the deadly current that she had lost the use of her limbs, now requiring an exo-skeletal harness to move around, while she awaited regenerative nerve therapy that could take months, and still not restore full mobility, even if she had not set it aside, intending to complete her education before taking the time required to undergo the intensive off-world course of treatment and therapy. While Min Dei’s twin, Mai Li, had escaped unharmed, she fell into a deep depression that her line of graduate research had led to the death of her mentor, and the crippling of her beloved sister, and taken her own life months later, leaving behind not even a body to bury, so that Min Dei was now bereft of her twin, a sadly ironic state of affairs, given her sister’s focus on singleton psychology.

After her partial recovery from these twin tragedies, Min Dei showed an uncharacteristic interest in her sister’s research, and chose to complete her sister’s thesis, as well as her own, an act which her therapists considered a healthy desire for closure, to make the tragedy ‘mean something’ in her eyes.

And so they orbited Takron-Galtos, the crippled young Winathian woman in her mobility-exoskeleton, and the substitute academic advisor that she had chosen to replace her previous mentor, waiting to interview the most infamous example of ‘singleton psychosis’ known, Mekt Ranzz…
Posted By: Set Re: The Legion of Lightning - 07/26/17 11:50 AM
It had gone like clockwork, so according to the plan that Mai Li, who no longer had to keep up the pretense of being her hated sister, Min Dei, had rehearsed so many times in her head, that it almost seemed unreal, anticlimactic even.

Whatever signs of nervousness she might have displayed had been easily explained away as those of a young girl visiting the notorious Takron-Galtos, and, more specifically, the most infamous criminal her peaceful world had ever produced. Her advisor, the imbecile, had made that very assumption about her nervous state, and held her hand and uttered banal reassurances, as if she were her insipid sister and cared for the daft words of simpletons. They sat in the room selected for the interview, and she resisted the urge to check her equipment, so carefully concealed in her mobility exoskeleton, while the love she’d never met was brought from whatever inhuman dungeon they kept him in when the cameras were off. He was tall in person, and she was struck with how, even escorted into the room by a pair of armed guards, and shackled with cuffs that covered his entire hands (the exact make and model she had been warned to expect), he had the poise of a lord-in-exile, majestic and somehow in command, dictating the extreme caution of his captors, even in these circumstances.

She had stammered as she began the interview, which seemed rehearsed, in retrospect, but was entirely unfeigned, as she was almost overwhelmed by the sheer presence of the man. His eyebrows furrowed in concern, as if doubting her capabilities, and that shot iron into her spine, as she adjusted the holorecorder, and settled her clumsy exoframe into the seat provided. Dr. MahRo blathered on, seemingly to cover for her discomfort, utterly clueless, as always.

The guards stepped out at her request, confident in the security cuffs, neural restraints and other measures in place, leaving her and Mekt Ranzz alone, save for her advisor. She asked a single perfunctory question, interrupting her advisor with her abruptness, but now that it was irrevocably in motion, she felt sick to her stomach, and just wanted it over…

The holorecorder scanned the images of everyone in the room, as was the standard for such devices, but then ran the specialized program she had spent a month designing, projecting a false holographic image to the security cameras present, of the three of them having a quiet unremarkable interview, and masking the real actions taking place. Without a second’s hesitation, just as her advisor’s face was registering the first awareness that something was amiss, a syringe ejected from her exo-frame, and she injected Dr. MahRo in the neck with it, numbing first his vocal chords, and then his entire body into a deep paralysis, followed by unconsciousness. Full of nervous energy, she stabbed him with the injector harder than she had planned, and would not be surprised if he had a bruise in a couple of hours, but that might as well be a couple of years later, for all it mattered to her plan. The chemical formula was the same used in Takron-Galtos restraint cuffs, which was very much by design. With the advice of her benefactor, no detail had been overlooked. Mekt had already stood, as the holoprojection nattered on, concealing their movements to the security cameras, and more syringes and dispensers ejected from her exo-harness, along with an automatic lockpick. She set the lockpick to the side, and used the first of the ampoules to recolor her advisor’s hair, turning it a shocking white. She picked this advisor from the dozens available for his relative similarity to Mekt in height, coloration and build, but his black hair would simply not do. A similar color treatment to Mekt’s hair, darkening it to the jet-black of Dr. MahRo’s hair, took only seconds. The eternal nature of vanity ensured that cosmetic technology always remained at the bleeding edge of science, and for once, she was grateful for that frippery.

As Mekt slipped her advisors utilitarian jumpsuit off, a rule of Takron-Galtos, that visitors wear nothing of their own into the facility (a precaution waived for a poor crippled girls’ mobility exo-skeleton), and switched clothing with her unconscious teacher, she drew blood from both Dr. MahRo and Mekt, using a specialized syringe to atomize and aerosolize the contents, delivering Mekt’s blood as a fine, invisible mist to her advisors skin and (newly donned) clothing, and her advisor’s DNA similarly to Mekt, so that either of them would superficially scan as the other to a cursory long-range DNA check, for the thirty minutes or so it would take for the aerosolized DNA to break down.

It felt like hours had passed, everything taking too long, and her hands fumbling at their tasks (while Mekt seemed icy calm and steady, if anything, somewhat impatient at her own nervousness…), but the chronometer implant in her visual cortex read that this whole process had taken barely more than a minute. She picked up the lockpick and drew a deep breath. Once the restraints were unlocked, alarms would sound, and this was the acid test… She remembered in the nick of time to activate the holo-recorders’ second program, and the hologram smoothly progressed to the illusory Mekt growing angry and yelling, as she quickly removed the real Mekt’s security cuffs and neural restraint band, and slapped them on her advisor, now dressed in Mekt’s clothing and looking at least passably like the infamous ‘Lightning Lord,’ with his shock of newly-white hair. Free of the cuffs that dampened his power, and the neural restraint that locked his mind out of the familiar neural triggers to generate them, Mekt tossed her advisor to the opposite side of the room contemptuously and lit the room up with a surge of lightning that shorted out the holo-projector (which had been showing Mekt somehow shorting out his neural restraint and shooting her advisor with a bolt of lightning) and the security cameras in one brilliant pyrotechnic display, carefully avoiding Dr. MahRo with his deadly blasts.

Smoke and shouting filled the room, and Mekt swept up the empty syringes she’s forgotten in her haste, sliding them into a pocket as she threw himself back at the wall, in the same space where her advisor had fallen during the holographic outburst. The door opened and she could see the body of her advisor convulse as the security cuffs now on his wrists engaged at the guards’ trigger. Mekt, moaning as if wounded, shot her a look and she remembered her role, wailing about the attack and how it had all gone wrong. She lost herself in the role of the shell-shocked victim, confused and frightened, and found herself hustled away in short order. Teary rambling proved sufficient, and she and ‘her advisor’ were allowed to return to their shuttle, desperate to ‘get away from this maniac.’ She somehow resisted the urge to laugh as the guards apologized to her for the breach in security, and bustled Mekt and herself into their getaway craft, which they launched the second they were cleared to do so, wanting to get far, far away from Takron-Galtos before her advisor woke up in Mekt’s cell and people began to realize that something had gone very wrong…
Posted By: Set Re: The Legion of Lightning - 07/26/17 11:51 AM
Takron-Galtos receded behind them, as the young woman verified a pre-programmed course for Winath at the maximum legal speed. She avoided eye contact, seeming to distract herself with checking the ship’s instruments, a redundant effort, since the ship’s automated systems could keep track of things much more efficiently than she, but Mekt could see her hands tremble, too shaky to work the controls, and she angrily wrenched bits of the mobility exo-skeleton free and casting them aside.

Mekt watched as she tossed her mobility exoskeleton aside with the relief of a genuine cripple throwing away a crutch. He’s once again shocked at how young she is, barely more than a child, and nothing at all like the mature and passionate graduate student he’d caught glimpses of behind her measured questionnaires about ‘singleton psychosis.’

The research had begun as simple inquiries, addressed from a ‘Mai Li An’ of the Psychological Studies Institute on Winath, and within months, progressed to something more, as he discovered hidden messages within the communiques that would only reveal themselves in a small sector of the screen, directly as his retina passed over it, and so remained invisible to any visual security systems in his room. In blinks of the eye, he came to know this lonely young woman, frustrated by Winath’s naked prejudice against anyone who didn’t mesh flawlessly with their twin, let alone an actual singleton. Six months into their communications, he received a message that Mai Li An had died, a guilt-suicide after a disastrous visit to Korbal crippled her twin sister and cost the life of her academic advisor. He then received a new follow-up questionnaire, ostensibly from the twin sister of his original interviewer, Min Dei An, who purportedly sought some sort of closure in completing her sister’s studies. The hidden messages, however, told a different tale, however obliquely, suggesting that the name had been changed, but the messenger was the same, demonstrating how little regard her family truly had for either of them, by flawlessly taking on her twin’s life...

And now she stood before him, idly kicking the mobility exoskeleton’s plasteel frame, her shoulders beginning to shake with emotion. He stood awkwardly for a moment, the simple motions of human interaction coming to him slowly, like transmissions from a distant world he’d only read about, before moving to pull her into a hug, only to realize as he did she was not in the grip of grief, but convulsing with silent laughter as the stress of the past hours poured out of her.

“I’m not sure what to call you…” Mekt said, pulling back slightly and furrowing his brow. “You’ve called yourself Min Dei in all of the most recent communications, but I feel like I should be calling you Mai Li...”

Her face lit up with a smile that only seemed to harden her eyes as Mai Li reached for a concealed compartment, popular with smugglers, to reveal a sleeping tube containing a young woman identical to herself, in chemical stasis. “This is Min Dei. I faked my own death, near a processing intake for waste reclamation, so that there would logically be no body found, other than some blood I splashed around the scene, and then took over her useless life. And now she will die, too, electrocuted after releasing the legendary Lightning Lord, and jettisoned like garbage.”

Mekt frowned, “You *want* to be a singleton?”

The vehemence of her response surprises even him, a man who had spent years trying to kill one of his siblings. “Of course! She’s always held me back, like a stone around my neck. Our parents coddled her, and she did well enough, with all the special treatment she got, but her merely getting by was worthy of praise, while my accomplishments were barely noticed! Every choice she made was the safe and ‘proper’ choice, she never took any risks, or did anything worth doing, or even the slightest bit surprising. Everyone was always so impressed that she would manage to dress herself the same as everybody else, and play the same games as everybody else, and listen to the same music as everybody else. Her life was a waste, and because of it, *my* life went unnoticed.”

He held up his hand to stop her, recognizing that Mai Li had been swept up in the same sort of resentment for her sibling that he had known all of his life, and wondered briefly if he’d seemed quite so unhinged in the middle of one of his rants.

“I was just asking,” he reassured her, as she breathed heavily, regaining her composure and looking somewhat abashed at her outburst, “You want her dead, then she’s dead. But I feel like I know you to well to believe that this too isn’t part of this ornate plan of yours…” Mekt trailed off, inviting Mai Li to explain her evil plan.

She turns to her sister’s tube and cycles it open, moving aside to allow Mekt access, and he simply shrugs and places a hand on the sleeping young woman, sending enough current through her that the skin blisters on her belly, where his hand rests. The medical indicators indicate immediate death, and with cold precision, Mai Li dumps her sister’s corpse into the airlock, pressures it to thirty atmospheres, and jettisons it into space, where it rockets away at great speed, limbs flailing as it spins off into the darkness, with signs of visible frost covering it, like a grotesque snowflake.

Mai Li watches for a moment before speaking, “Within hours, my advisor wakes up in your cell, and the authorities figure out that you have escaped. They come in pursuit of this craft, only to find, on this trajectory, the electrocuted body of my twin floating in space.” Mai Li begins, turning to the controls and jettisoning an escape pod, while simultaneously cutting the engines and all but emergency power. Through the small ships screens, they can see the escape pod spiral away and then accelerate in another direction at high speeds. “The escape pod contains nothing more than an engine, which, at full overburn thrust, is terribly unsafe and will probably overload and explode in a few hours, but now that our engines are off, anyone tracking this ship will follow the engine signature of the pod, thinking that we’ve turned, which makes sense, since nobody sane would remain on the same registered course to Winath after a jailbreak.” She grins at this phase of her plan, warming up to the subject of her own cleverness. She pushes another button and parts fly off of the ship and spiral off into the void. “I bought this ship because it’s a Rimborian Roustabout, and only a real ship-buff would know that the Rimborian Roustabout is just a Centi Cruiser hull, pirated and glammed up with some hull effects to change the profile and make the blatant copyright theft less obvious. And now, by jettisoning those effects, this ship appears to be a Centi Cruiser, not the registered Rimborian Roustabout that I left Winath in, or that you escaped Takron-Galtos in.”

Mekt nods approvingly. “So anyone following us will think we changed course and follow the pod, which is going where?”

“Khund space. If it happens to make it there, the authorities will assume that the Khunds had something to do with breaking you out, and wouldn’t dare to pursue anyway. Even if it explodes halfway there, they’ll have to wonder if a Khund cruiser wasn’t waiting to pick you up and blew up the ship to eliminate any evidence…”

“Very clever. I had assumed that this ship belonged to the university. So how does a student afford a Rimborian Roustabout, and a jury-rigged escape pod outfitted with a spare engine?” Mekt asks, keeping his questions casual, hoping that Mai Li’s enthusiasm for the topic keeps her from noting the suspicion in his voice.

“Ah,” Mai Li smiles slightly, “I was never able to mention in my letters that we were not alone…”
Posted By: Set Re: The Legion of Lightning - 07/27/17 11:21 AM
Legion of Lightning - Ambush

“But first, we pay a visit to your brother…” Mai Li continued, and Mekt’s face lit up with the first smile he had shown since his liberation, a cold smile that matched her own.

***********

Garth Ranzz, allowed himself to be glad-handled into the brightly lit and sterile foyer to the convention center, where a pair of hostesses, smiles frozen on their faces as if etched from plastic, took his small bag of clothing and toiletries and validated his room key. The ‘key’ itself was a virtual construct, a bit of tagging that programmed the room to open for him, and sensors in the walls lit up as he proceeded to his room, lighting the way for any unfamiliar with the numbering system. He idly noted that the foyer seemed less full than he’d expected for the medical conference he’d been invited to speak for, on Singleton Studies (being the most famous son of Winath, and sibling to the most notorious singleton of the generation, and, most importantly, on-planet and available…). The few other people in the foyer did not seem to have that annoyed impatient air of self-importance that he’d come to associate with medical professionals, although he had to admit that Dr. Gym’ll’s irascible ‘bedside manner’ may have colored his perception of the entire profession.

He reminded himself to message Imra that he’d arrived, a journey of several hours across Winath that she had opted out of, since she had zero interest in hearing yet again how Titanian telepathic techniques was not medically approved technique for diagnosing or treating mental conditions on Winath. As on many worlds lacking an innate gift for telepathy, mental health professionals on Winath could be a bit touchy about the gift.

As the door to his room slid open, he noted an oppressive feel to the room, cold and clammy, as if the climate controls weren’t working. The door slid shut behind him and he became aware off another presence in the room on some instinctive level just as he heard the deep voice that brought him back to his childhood, “Hello again, little brother.”

Without a second’s hesitation, even faster than he could consciously make the decision, his arm had risen to point at the direction from which the voice had come, and he felt the lightning uncoiling within him, leaping to action like a tiger whose cage door had flung open. What came next was shock and pain, as the electricity remained locked within his body, electrocuting him rather than his target, and leaving him contorted in breathless agony, muscles locked and trembling with the intensity of the trapped current. Mekt’s fist slammed into his face, wrapped in some insulating gauntlet and he felt something pop in his clenched jaw before he toppled to the ground, limbs weak like jelly.

He could distantly hear Mekt gloating, “Nano machines in the air, little brother, forming a Faraday cage to lock your lightning within you...” Garth was unclear on the next words, something about the storm having betrayed him before, and only needing his fists for this, but could hardly focus past the sudden explosions of pain as Mekt kicked him again and again, in the gut, the in the back when he curled up to protect himself, and finally, just as he attempted to activate his Flight Ring to call for help, a last brutal stomp to his head that left him with a distant fuzzy perception of the world fading into blackness…

******

Mai Li watched dispassionately as the man she loved brutalized his younger brother, kicking the limp figure even after he had lost consciousness. She waited for him to stop for breath, panting and red-faced, leaning on a wall for support, before kneeling to check on the fallen Legionnaire. Withdrawing a medical sampler, she withdrew a pint of the younger Ranzz brother’s blood, stowing the canister back in its refrigerated carry-case, before drawing forth a small box, which clicked open at her finger-print. Inside, a small lump of fused yellow and black metal, resembling a Legion Flight Ring, if it had been melted by an intense electrical discharge, rolled forth onto the carpet as she shook it free of its case, careful not to touch it herself. “We’ve only got a few minutes, after his ring lost contact with the comm-net before somebody realizes it’s more than just an update. Our ride will be here any moment.” She said matter-of-factly as she slid the Legion Founder’s ring from his finger and dropped it into the case from which she had produced the molten simulacra.

Mekt stopped glaring hatefully at his brother long enough to see what she was doing, and his face registered a return to clarity. “They will be able to track that ring…”

“Not while it’s in this case, they won’t,” Mai Li replied, standing up and turning to him, “And we aren’t keeping it anyway. It’s the price I paid for the help organizing this plan.”

Any next words were pre-empted by a flickering reddish glow filling the room, accompanied by a stench of methane that Mekt found all-too familiar, as the air trembled and the Gil’Dishpan named Zymyr seemed to fall into the room, as i arriving from some impossible distance all at once,

Mekt raised his hand threateningly, but a glimpse of Mai Li’s expression of wide-eyed alarm reminded him in time not to attempt to unleash his lightning powers in this room, and he just growled his displeasure as he advanced on the Gil’Dishpan teleporter, “What are you doing here, worm.

Zymyr did not bother to reply, instead opening a new warp between itself and the angry humanoid, into which Mekt stumbled before he could stop himself. He felt the nauseatingly familiar feeling of pressure on all sides, as if he was being squeezed down the throat of some enormous animal, before being shot out the other side of the wormhole, to land panting in a larger room, feeling as if he’d just survived the most energetic deep-tissue massage imaginable.

Back on Winath Mai Li tossed the small box containing the stolen Flight Ring to the hovering Gil’Dishpan, not wanting to get any closer than necessary to the smelly alien, whose organ-like body pulsated in a distinctly unsettling manner. Stepping over the unconscious Legionnaire, she entered the warp freely and under her own power, knowing that on the other side lay her new life, and her new family.

Moments later, the hotel room was silent again, save for the body of Garth Ranzz, lying very still...
Posted By: Harbinger Re: The Legion of Lightning - 07/28/17 07:29 AM
Thoroughly enjoyed your story so far Set, looking forward to finding out who the main big baddie is.

I'll post more detailed review over the weekend, but for now I'm looking forward to more, more, more!
Posted By: Set Re: The Legion of Lightning - 07/28/17 11:39 AM
Thanks for the feedback, Harby!

I'm going to try ("Do or do not. There is no try." "Shut it, muppet!") to update the fic daily, but haven't yet finished this todays submission, and need to sleep. (I work nights, and usually can write on my breaks, so I'll usually try to post in the mornings when I get home, and who knows about weekends...)

While I've gone heavy on Mai Li, and will introduce a few more original characters, I aim to keep the Legion itself fairly traditional, and not have to deal with a bunch of the newer additions (Chameleon Girl is probably about as 'new' as I'm going to get, at this point), or any of the cool original characters floating around (like Laser Ape or Diamond Damsel).

There's just too many Legionnaires I want to write! I'm not complaining, 'though. It's a good problem to have!
Posted By: Set Re: The Legion of Lightning - 08/01/17 10:41 AM
Legion of Lightning – Lair, Sweet Lair

Some part of Mekt had remained on alert, waiting for this latest moment of freedom to end once again in his cell in Takron-Galtos, like a dream cut short, and yet, weeks had passed, and against his own nature, he felt himself growing complacent in this new life. It was indeed a dream, of sorts, and he felt at times that this latest ‘freedom’ was a fragile thing, less reassuring somehow than the certainty and routine of captivity, but still, he reminded himself to savor it, that every day he spend on the outside after having so humiliated his brother, and so cleverly escaped Takron-Galtos, seemed like a fresh victory over the previous times of freedom that ended so much sooner, due to impulsive actions or over-ambitious allies.

The compound he’d appeared in so abruptly was nowhere near Winath, an abandoned bio-research facility hidden away on Zuun, of all places, on the larger of the two continents declared off-limits to settlement, as a reserve for the native ecology. The facility was less dusty than he’d imagined, and they’d found some evidence that it had been used by exotic animal smugglers, or similar lawbreakers, in the last decade or so; the sensors that kept the authorities assured that the facility was powered down and empty of squatters having been hacked before they even arrived, sending a constant loop of confirmation that the base was as empty as it had been the day it was abandoned. If anyone from the orbiting research station cared, they could have flown down to verify this, and discover Mekt and Mai Li’s thriving operation, but it had apparently been over a decade since the last manual inspection.

The structure itself was hardened against the unusually powerful Zuunian wildlife, existing under greater than Earth-standard gravity, and in an environment suffused with the exotic radiation once called ‘vita rays.’ The vast creatures were like terrestrial dinosaurs in size, but with strength that was far greater than even those extinct creatures, and so the base was not only reinforced structurally, but also defended by being mostly built into an artificial hill, camouflaged as part of the surrounding jungle, and finally by a system of automated markers that produced subtly disturbing subsonic vibrations and tailored odors that led to the majority of native wildlife instinctively avoiding the hidden structure.

Within the structure itself, Mai Li’s allies had arranged a system of tesseract buffers, normally an energy intensive solution, but one that Mekt could handily keep powered with a daily infusion of raw power, spending a few minutes discharging electricity directly into the facilities power storage unit, and eliminating any chance that the orbiting station would detect a larger power source or operating power plant. The tesseract system was normally used for interspatial storage, to make an area larger on the inside than the outside, but the facility was by far large enough for their needs, and the tesseract ratio was set to only a fraction of a percent ‘larger on the inside,’ existing to prevent signals from inside the facility from being detected by sensors outside the facility, to allow for a reduced gravity plane and to keep out the local ‘vita-radiation,’ without the visible signatures of gravity-field technology or active radiation shields, and, as an added bonus, to prevent the Legion’s legendary tracker, Dawnstar, from being able to locate anyone inside the warped space, since they were, however technically, ‘in another dimension.’ Conventional radiation shielding and gravity-reduction fields were built into the base, and much more energy efficient, but the one thing that Mekt’s presence guaranteed is that they would have no need of power efficiency…

A half dozen strangers had gathered around when Mekt and Mai Li appeared in the Zuun base, allies that, in a couple of cases, she had never even met face to face, all singletons recruited from Winath, or whatever worlds they had fled to, wishing to escape the silent pity that passed for prejudice on their homeworld. Some had been born singletons, like Mekt, a few had lost their twins early in life, and grown accustomed to the questioning look from strangers on Winath, wondering where their twin was, and dreading the moment they had to confirm that they had no twin, and the uncomfortable looks of mock sympathy began. Each had revealed to Mai Li’s questionnaires on ‘singleton studies’ a deep-seated bitterness, and desire to strike away from Winath and prove their own value as independent souls. Mekt had initially alienated some of them with his outburst at having been denied a chance at ending the life of his hated brother, but quickly came around to value Mai Li’s recruits.

Not the least reason for his change of view was that the recruits were all fellow Winathians, and all somewhat in awe of the elder Ranzz, who was indeed the most notorious Winathian, not to mention the most notorious singleton. No matter how excessive his behavior, there was no question that he had brought attention to their ignored status, if not exactly the sort of attention that most would have preferred. There was also the added bonus that these recruits were unlike his previous LSV allies, and lacked personal power of their own. Mekt was undoubtedly in charge, and he could not imagine returning to a situation where he had to wait on Saturn Queen’s say so to act, or had to contend with equally confrontational and personally powerful individuals like Sun Emperor and Titania…

Mai Li was a wonder. He recognized at times that at least part of this fantasy they were living was her fantasy, and not his, but he felt like indulging her, not because he felt that he owed her for his escape, but simply because her ambition was infectious, equally appealing to simply sit back and watch, as to actively participate in. Her pretty face was usually spoiled by a frown of concentration, dark almond-shaped eyes scrunched up, and her long black hair tied back perfunctorily, so that it would not get in the way of her work. Mai Li seemed to care as little for matters of personal appearance as for the successes that lay behind her, ever moving forward, like a shark, in stark contrast to Saturn Queen, the last woman who had captured Mekt’s eye, who spent perhaps too much time gloating over past victories, and treated her physical appearance as another weapon in her arsenal against the men she sought to dominate. Some others would be content with the accomplishments Mai Li had already achieved, having seemingly effortlessly breached the best security in the United Planets, and apparently gotten away with it. But the slight young woman had a dazzling array of plans, plans she’d vetted with the help of her unseen benefactor, whom she named ‘the Oracle.’ The Oracle was, according to Mai Li, a Naltorian, operating from an unknown location (most agreed Naltor itself), offering their predictive services to various underworld individuals in exchange for a cut of the haul, or other agreed-upon prices. Her price for Mekt’s release had been the Flight Ring of Garth Ranzz, which Mekt considered a foolish price, but certainly acceptable to him, as well as access to Mai Li’s research into granting others abilities similar to Mekt’s, which he was more inclined to deliver piecemeal, at best. He would have gladly handed over his brother’s entire arm, just to be free of that prison, had the Oracle wished for it, but was less sanguine about the idea of his powers being spread among countless hired guns. As far as Mekt was concerned, there were already two too many lightning-users in the universe…

It was Mai Li who made their necessary seclusion bearable, and she beguiled him with her enthusiasm and energy, spinning great plans of the family they would build from the cast-offs of Winath, a family loyal beyond blood, and through her research into the accident that empowered the Ranzz siblings, sharing a modicum of metahuman electrical power. Mekt had pushed against this, at first, until she refined her plan to include implants in anyone enhanced to keep them utterly dependent upon Mekt for their powers, so that their loyalty could be enforced, if necessary. With that, Mekt was won over, and they began research into empowering their enthusiastic recruits.

Initial results were… not promising. Only two of the recruits proved capable of adapting to the gene-grafts and cybernetic implants necessary to gain effective powers, while two others died in separate accidents, one rejecting her grafts, and another burning out spectacularly as his entire body became a wet-cell battery and combusted. The lucky pair of singletons were polar opposites, Kiln Brannod being pale, tall, lanky and with a shock of blonde hair in a fringehawk that trailed down past his shoulders, Lek Donavi shorty and stockier, with a bodybuilder’s physique, and darker skin, dark brown eyes and wavy black hair, as well as a permanent stubble that seemed to grow back as fast as he attempted to shave it. The implants and bioelectrical charge enhanced their strength and speed, giving them mildly superhuman fighting ability, as well as the ability to electrocute anyone they touched. Mekt was secretly pleased that neither of these ‘Blood Brothers’ (so called because they recharged with fresh infusions of his blood, to prevent them from rejecting their implants) could actually throw lightning, but they did discover that their opposed charges reacted explosively if they touched, generating a powerful explosion that, fortuitously, did not affect them!

Fresh recruits from Rimbor’s street-toughs soon arrived, eager for an advantage in the endless gang conflicts that wracked that failed world, along with a gift from the Oracle, inspiring a new line of research. Mai Li had practically dragged Mekt to the containment pens that the facility had originally used for more direct study of Zuun’s native megafauna, leaving him in suspense as to what surprise awaited. A reddish warp heralded the latest ‘delivery’ from Zymyr, and Mekt wondered yet again what price the mercenary Gil’Dishpan was charging to be the Oracle’s errand-boy. Out of the warp staggered a pair of drugged Korballan lightning-beasts, and Mai Li clapped her hands and squealed with delight like a child seeing a magic trick on her birthday. He hadn’t seen a lightning beast for years, and Mekt had forgotten how big the creatures were, with thick purple-gray hide and legs like tree-trunks.

Within a week, his clever young partner, whom he had taken to calling his ‘Lightning Lady,’ had come up with a technique to splice Korballan lightning-beast DNA into several of the Rimborian recruits, mutating them into three meter tall humanoids with the thick hide and great strength of the beasts, as well as, most importantly, their ability to generate lightning. The process also seemed to dull their wits, reducing their already dubious intellects to somewhere closer to that of the dumb animals themselves, but with the appropriate control implants, and some harsh training, they proved quite satisfactory to the Rimborian criminal elements who had provided ‘volunteers’ for this line of research, and Mekt felt a strange sense of almost parental pride when he read Science Police updates about these new ‘lightning hybrids’ being used by criminal organizations across the United Planets. It felt wrong somehow to see the black market credits rolling into their private accounts, and not have committed the crimes himself, but he was pretty sure he could get used to it.

Fighting the Legion of Super-Heroes, and getting sent to Takron-Galtos so often as to have a regular room there and be on a first name basis with the guards, was a young man’s game, he was beginning to realize.


Posted By: Set Re: The Legion of Lightning - 08/01/17 10:42 AM
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<FastNews!!>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
* Neurofascists gain three more seats in UP parliament, giving them minority party advisory status.
* Church of the Inner Light turns Dark, as newly incorporated Church of the Outer Dark, proclaims that the universe has ‘crossed the rubicon’ and is now contracting and that Evil is the new Good.
* Digital Dead right-to-vote issues take forefront of campaigns, as the Digital Dead are on pace to outnumber physically incarnate voters within 20 years.
* Scintilla Modi embraces Quantum Interstitial Interface (QII) ‘key’ technology, forcing upgrade fees on 11 billion users. Called ‘illegal shakedown,’ “Blatant disregard for user rights and consumer protections will have severe repercussions” warns SP consumer advocacy board.
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<FastNews!!>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

“Brainy!” Imra says more loudly, her first attempt at getting the distracted Coluan’s attention having apparently failed. “How can you be listening to the news? Mekt is still out there, doing Luck Lords knows what! If I hadn’t demanded that the hotel staff check on Garth in person when his Flight Ring went off-line, he would have died of his head trauma before the cleaning service came in the morning…”

Brainiac 5 turned around abruptly, stopping the words in her throat. Imra realized that she’d been at him for weeks, and that she wasn’t saying anything he hadn’t heard a dozen times before. He showed no sign of any irritation, his face and posture preternaturally calm, and Imra knew that was a bad sign, as it indicated that he was expending mental resources on controlling any subconscious emotional tics or social cues, something he rarely bothered to do, finding it ‘wasteful.’ “I have conclusively determined that the young woman who broke Mekt out of Takron-Galtos was in fact the purportedly deceased twin sister of Min Dei An.” Imra’s mouth opened to ask how he had determined that, but Brainy steamrollered past any questions, “And that she has subtly recruited other Winathian singletons to join herself and Mekt at a location that is somehow shielded from Dawnstar’s tracking powers.” Again, Imra began to ask how he knew this, but his raised hand stopped her question in her throat. “I am devoting considerable mental resources to this task, and your incessant interruptions are only slowing me down. Read my mind for further details.” With that, he perfunctorily turns away and begins reviewing a half dozen holo-screens in front of him, each scrolling data faster than she can process.

She hesitantly reaches out to his powerful mind, which she can feel cycling like a vast machine before her, closing her eyes to focus on purely psychic input. Data rushes over her like a tidal wave, until she feels like she is drowning in information, tossed about like a tiny fish in a storm-maddened sea, and only peripherally is she aware that the data she is seeing is every single digital communication that the twins Mai Li and Min Dei have ever had, all at once, all having been meticulously assembled and analyzed by the Coluan genius. She staggers from the onslaught of information, and realizes that she has sunk to her knees, unable to stand before the amount of raw data that surges around her, and can feel that a barrier shields her friends mind from her, that this is merely the information that he wants her to access, kept at the surface of his mind for her convenient acess, while just behind a soap-bubble thin membrane, a torrent of information thousands of times more dangerous seethes and roils. It’s all she can do to shut him out, drawing a breath as she puts her own mind to order. In this moment, she has learned, because Brainiac 5 chose for her to learn, that he has learned to organize and control his thoughts for effective telepathic communication, something that every Titanian child spends years mastering, so that embarrassing subconscious thoughts don’t creep into their mental communications. That a non-telepath would master such a talent, without any training, seems impossible, but clearly he has done it, either for the rare dealings he has with telepaths, or, more likely, as a reflection of his singular focus and ability to multi-task.

Without turning, Brainiac 5 says, “I am currently reviewing the locations and activities of every Bgtzln who could be using phase powers or technology to shunt Mekt and Mai Li out of regular space and beyond Dawnstar’s ability to track. Do not for a moment think that I am not working on the problem, even if am also listening to the news.”

Imra rises to her feet, finding it difficult to not view Brainiac 5’s ‘info-dump’ as akin to a telepathic assault, even if he is no telepath, and the choice to peer into his mind was her own, and she mutters only, “Sorry Brainy, I know you are doing your best. My impatience is getting the best of me.”

“Apology accepted, my friend,” Brainy says, with a touch of warmth in his voice, turning slightly to give her the ghost of a smile. “Believe me when I say that I find this mystery far more frustrating than you do. Mekt is not this clever. And, having viewed every word she’s ever written, I’m not convinced that Mai Li is capable of the sort of computer access she’s displayed. There is something else going on here, and it’s staying one step ahead of me…”

“And now you’re curious.” Imra says, with a small grin.

“Indeed.” Brainiac 5 admits.

“Well, then, now I know you’re going to get to the bottom of this. Nothing in the universe can hide from a curious Brainiac 5.” Brainy treats her to another small grin, and turns back to his viewscreens, which had paused when he turned away, but now seem to be blurring data past faster than ever. Recognizing a dismissal, Imra lets herself out of the multi-lab.
Posted By: Harbinger Re: The Legion of Lightning - 08/01/17 06:16 PM
Hey Set, sorry I didn't have as much time at the weekend as I hoped so here's my promised review -

“I try to make it through this life. In my way, there’s you.” - this sets the tone beautifully.

Nice description of Takron-Galtos to start but halfway into the paragraph that follows its getting ominous. The tutor reflecting on his student's tragic circumstance just feels creepy, I read this first time and thought "That girl's going to be trouble!" even though there was no real reason to. The thought that even in the 31st century nerve damage wouldn't necessarily get fixed by the medical wonders of the age is sobering. There not being a body of the dead twin is a worry too.

"Twin tragedies" - ha, unintentional pun I think.

Singleton Psychosis - scary that there's a culture that would think of something like that but a great phrase none the less.

Mai Li is definitely dangerous! Her hated (dead) sister? That's some serious jealousy going on there.

I almost feel sorry for Dr MahRo, but then Mai Li is so calculating it's fascinating to read, like reading about a snake striking. Scary and ruthless, but just following it's primal nature.

I want some of that hair dye that only takes seconds to work smile

chronometer implant in a persons visual cortex - nice touch, we'll probably all have them in 20 years time so copyright it now Set!

Clever plan to get Mekt out from the advisor with the same build and the DNA scan fooling blood spray, through to the terrified victim act at the end. When I read this first time I wondered who the mysterious benefactor was and what they want. My initial thoughts were that Mai Li was actually Brainiac 5, but I doubt that now.

The cruelty exhibited by the casual disregard for her sister that Mai Li shows makes me wonder who the real psychopath is in this story. Could this be leading to the redemption of Mekt? It's understandable why he is taken aback by her rant as it did sound somewhat like plenty of his.

Sending the escape pod to Khund space was clever, just to add that additional risk to tracking him down. Nice plan!

"that annoyed impatient air of self-importance that he’d come to associate with medical professionals" - ha, great line, and it reminded me of that scene from just after the Great Darkness when Brainy sent Tenzil home with Dr Gym'll and he calculated the odds of Tenz hating doctors by the end of the journey.

Trapping Garth in a nano-faraday cage was clever! The rage and brutality that Mekt showed was really disturbing, maybe Mai Li isn't the only psychopath after all.

So, Mai Li admits she loves Mekt. Ah, young psychos in love, is there ever anything quite so terrifying?

The price is a flight ring? that doesn't bode well... and why take Garth's blood?

Your description of Zymyr falling all at once was neat, teleportation is such a sci-fi staple that it's nice to read slightly different takes on it. Your description of the Gil'Dishpan having an"organ-like body pulsated in a distinctly unsettling manner" sums up too many people let alone aliens smile

Great cliffhanger!

I'll get onto the next bit soon - I need a cuppa before I go any further.
Posted By: Harbinger Re: The Legion of Lightning - 08/01/17 06:43 PM
So, Zuun... interesting description of it, and loved the inclusion of 'vita-rays'! The compound sounds like it's build tough enough to defend against Legionnaires as well as large beasts. Clever use of tesseracts too, and a ogical place to hide to keep Dawnstar from finding them.

"wishing to escape the silent pity that passed for prejudice on their homeworld" - ouch! That's a powerful image.

The Oracle sounds like a great idea for a shadowy villain - perhaps they are Brainiac 4 smile I'm determined to have her included amn't I? Actually, a rogue Naltorian sounds like a flippin' great idea! The potential is tremendous.

Mekt enjoyment at being king of the hill is very well written, especially his thoughts about the difference between Mai Li and Saturn Queen.

Mekt's thoughts that there were already two too many lightning - users - made me laugh but actually it's quite chilling.

The two Blood Brothers are a bit worrying - potentially there could be hundreds of further villains created.

The hybrid Lightning Beasts were ingenious, and the description that implants and harsh training - although brief - told me enogh about the regime Mai Li and Mekt have set up.

Mekt's realisation thathe could make money without getting is hands dirty was nicely done. Being sent to Takron-Galtos as a young man's game, well, indeed!
Posted By: Harbinger Re: The Legion of Lightning - 08/01/17 06:55 PM
So, the final post so far and we finally get to the Legionnaires.

It's a sign of how engaging your story is that I was halfway through this section before I realised that other than Garth's beating you haven't really written anything about them yet. To be honest, I'd have never thought Mekt Ranzz could be that interesting, bravo!

The news feeds are great! I tried to do something similar during the Leg35C series but not nearly as successfully. I want to know about all of the stories you teased us with headlines of.

Interesting that it's Imra who is showing the signs of stress, and also that you didn't show Garth at all which makes me wonder if he as fully recovered.

Brainy's self control, and Imra's acknowledgement of it was very well written; here's a scene taught with tension.

The description of Brainy's thoughts was off the scales, of course he's a super genius - but thinking about what that would be like is so difficult, let alone writing a description of what it would feel like to be within.

Imra's humility when she realises that Brainy has intuitively sorted his thoughts for telepathic conversation is great, why was she surprised?

Their friendship is so strong though that it's great they can move on and discuss the issue with decency. Imra apologising is pretty rare too, which just highlights the depth of friendship they share.

Great ending for this section too, Brainy's on the case! Look out Oracle, Mekt and Mai Li, he's gonna get you!

Set I love your stories, they are warm and rich and totally engaging. More, more, more!
Posted By: razsolo Re: The Legion of Lightning - 08/01/17 08:00 PM
I'm with Harbinger, I'm enjoying this even without the Legion. Mai Li is a great villain and I'm looking forward to seeing whether it'll be her or Mekt to find out they've bitten off more than they can chew with their partnership smile

Also: poor Garth! I hope he gets to kick his brother's butt before this is all over!
Posted By: Set Re: The Legion of Lightning - 08/01/17 08:19 PM
First, thanks for all the in-depth feedback, it's really motivating and I love that all the little details I threw in are getting noticed!

Originally Posted by Harbinger
&#147;I try to make it through this life. In my way, there&#146;s you.&#148; - this sets the tone beautifully.


I had all these song quotes (and news blurbs, and other stuff) that I'd gathered to use at the beginnings of individual chapters, but then when I divided the fic into multiple files, I forgot to copy them over, so I've neglected them terribly. That song quote is from Three Days Grace, IIRC, and I felt summed up how Mai Li felt about her sister Min Dei.

Quote
Singleton Psychosis - scary that there's a culture that would think of something like that but a great phrase none the less.


I'd seen mention on some show when the idea for this first came about of how some people have a disconnect with a part of their body. Their proprioception (awareness of self) is wonky, so that while you or I are aware of an arm or a leg, and it's general position, even beyond a tactile awareness, they don't feel like that particular limb is actually part of them, and is more like a parasite attached to the rest of their body, something they want gone. (Such people are occasionally misdiagnosed as fetishizing amputees, to the degree of wanting to cut off a perfectly good limb, further confused by the fact that there are people who fetishize amputees...) I immediately saw Mai Li as such a person. She's got some faulty wiring, and whatever 'bond' Winathian twins normally have, she lacks, and she's grown up resenting, and eventually holding in contempt, the rest of Winathian society for flaunting this special connection. She 'fetishizes' the state of being a singleton, and this, as much as anything else, draws her towards Mekt, a notorious singleton, and, unfortunately for singletons in general, a terrible, terrible role-model... smile

Quote
"that annoyed impatient air of self-importance that he&#146;d come to associate with medical professionals" - ha, great line, and it reminded me of that scene from just after the Great Darkness when Brainy sent Tenzil home with Dr Gym'll and he calculated the odds of Tenz hating doctors by the end of the journey.


I had literally just (re)read that story a few days before I wrote that scene!

Quote
Your description of Zymyr falling all at once was neat, teleportation is such a sci-fi staple that it's nice to read slightly different takes on it. Your description of the Gil'Dishpan having an"organ-like body pulsated in a distinctly unsettling manner" sums up too many people let alone aliens smile


There've been so many different takes on teleportation, that I wanted to try something new. Or perhaps I'm twelve, and since Zymyr looks like a colon, I wanted his teleportation to feel like a trip through one. smile

Thanks again for the awesome feedback!

Brainiac 4 will not be in this story. I wanted to challenge myself by having a non-Coluan plausibly challenge Brainy in a contest of wits, without 'jobbing' him or under-representing his ferocious intellect. There are a few things that can even the odds, such as Naltorian precog, or magic, or other shenanigans I may or may not have firmly up my sleeve... :>
Posted By: Set Re: The Legion of Lightning - 08/01/17 08:26 PM
Originally Posted by razsolo
I'm with Harbinger, I'm enjoying this even without the Legion. Mai Li is a great villain and I'm looking forward to seeing whether it'll be her or Mekt to find out they've bitten off more than they can chew with their partnership smile

Also: poor Garth! I hope he gets to kick his brother's butt before this is all over!


Thanks as well! Hopefully Mai Li, our new 'Lightning Lady' will get to stick around and join fun OCs (or heavily modified canon refugees) like your interpretations of Diamond Damsel, Leeta 89, etc.

And yeah, it's a Legion of Super-Heroes story, after all. I don't think it's spoiling anything to expect that Garth will have his day. The fun is in the trip, even if we have at least a general idea of the destination. smile
Posted By: Set Re: The Legion of Lightning - 08/02/17 11:40 AM
Rimbor by Adlight

It seems like a cliché, but the air of Rimbor feels slimy, and Jo Nah, the Legionnaire also known as 'Ultra Boy,' recognizes the mingled air of desperation and opportunity even through his transsuit. This world has two types of people, those still ambitious and naïve, and those experienced and beaten-down by the realization that there was just not enough opportunity for everyone, and now just struggling to survive another day without hope. He'd only volunteered to come back when Brainy asked for someone to follow up reports of a hybrid Korballan lightning-beast / humanoid being used to a gang on Rimbor and either capture the beast itself, or at least get information on it, because he'd recognized the gang colors of the punks accompanying the beast.

Jo didn’t trust the city spaceport to not strip his cruiser for parts and so left it in the orbital parking field, eschewing the usual shuttle to the surface for simply descending under his own power, counting on his Flight Ring and transsuit, as well as a dash of ultra-invulnerability, to manage a safe landing in the grime-darkened streets of a city that he spent half his life trying to survive, and never seen from above (since he certainly didn’t look back when he left…).

His senses are barraged by the neon colors of the holo-advertisments projected onto the undersides of the smog clouds that squat perpetually over the city itself, each clamoring for his attention and momentarily blinding him with their intensity.

******Cryon-Disney, WarnerUniversal and ViaSoft Present; Aliens vs. Avatar vs. Dune vs. Predator vs. Star Wars! The epic crossover event, on the world of Pandora, ravaged by the xenomorph / yautja conflict, the mysterious ji-haluud Kwisatz Haderach known only as the Conqueror Worm engages in final conflict with Empress Myla Rel, Dark Lady of the Sith, for the fate of the galaxy!******

******They Fight Crime 23! He’s a Sklaran pleasure-slave turned galactic mega-celebrity! She’s his bodyguard, a foul-mouthed, hard-drinking Talokkan ex-mercenary disavowed for ‘excessive force!’ Together, they fight crime!*****

*****Get more action with the ActionPak Pleasure Torso!*****

*****Overwhelmed by the seemingly endless distractions of our busy universe? Unable to focus on a single interest when 7 million channels are vying for your attention? Try Hocus-Focus, and find your concentration honed to a laser-like focus, not just ‘like’ magic, but by actual magic! Formulated on the arcane world of Myar, ‘the Alchemy Planet,’ Hocus-Focus will give you the steady concentration and endless patience of a predatory animal! Warning: Do not continue taking Hocus-Focus if you begin excessively drooling or experience fantasies of stalking, attacking or cannibalizing other sentients, as this may be a sign of rare but serious condition.*****

He descends through the worst of it with spots in his eyes and a ringing in his ears (his transsuit sparing him the ozone stench and burning eyes that would normally accompany passing through the smog layer), as the sky above him clamors for his attention with the sort of displays that would be illegal on any other world, a danger to traffic and a disturbance of the peace alike. Down on the streets, it’s night, but at least as brightly lit as it is during the day, thanks to the ubiquitous advertising (and thick smog cover).

Jo recognizes the colors of the first gang he runs into, and they aren’t who he’s looking for, so he ignores them and continues floating through the streets, carefully reserving his ultra-energies to remain invulnerable. Only once does someone take a shot at him, but when he turns around to glare at them and clenches a fist, they scurry down an alleyway. He doesn’t recognize the gang colors on that one, but it stands to reason that things have changed since he’s been gone.

Finally he sees a pair of lounging enforcers wearing the red fur stripes of the Red Wolf gang he’s looking for, and descends to the ground and walks slowly towards them while they abandon their languid pose and warily rise to attention, hands near their weapons.

“I’m looking for Xamia,” he says simply, not wanting to waste time on chit-chat. The thugs, whose scruffy appearances and worn clothes increasingly seem a façade over something more disciplined and professional, seem more like mercenaries than gangsters, one covering him while the other types a message on an encrypted comm. “Follow,” the comm-user says, and he follows without further comment, finding the whole thing surreal, compared to the chest-pounding and gutter-speak that punctuated his own time on these streets.

One hands him a blacked out visor to cover his eyes, but the other just mutters, “Won’t work. He can see through stuff.” The other grunts and the pair lead him to a club, where he’s handed off to yet more thugs, who bring him to a basement access, and yet another changing of the guard. Below the club is exactly the sort of gang-lair that he’s used to, filled with smoke and gambling and drinking and lounging gang-members, with a ‘throne’ against the back wall. He’s so busy looking for Xamia among the revelers that he’s taken aback when she rises from the leader’s throne. “Jo Nah. Or should I call you Ultra Boy, now?” she says in her richly accented voice, somehow turning his Legion codename into an insult. Xamia is striking in a short dress so blue it’s verging on purple, dramatically off-setting her ebony skin, with only a scarf of red fur around one wrist to indicate her gang affiliation. That hand, heavy with thick rings on every finger and slender bracelets on her wrist, rests on a small console, built into her seat of power and she inclines her shaved head towards it with the tinkling chime of many dangling earrings. “I hear you fast now, lover, but I take my hand off this button, people die, so think careful-like about you next move.” The staccato delivery of the gutter-speak he’d grown up sounds almost like music to his ears, a bit of comfortable familiarity in this subtly changed Rimbor of the future.

Jo can see Xamia’s beringed hand resting on what appears to be some sort of deadman switch, and knows it would be completely like her to have rigged explosives somewhere to cause a problem if she was harmed. Killing wouldn’t be like the Xamia he remembered, but it had been years, and she was now the leader of this gang, so who knows how she’d changed from the mischief-loving rules-breaker he’d known so many years ago.

“I’m just here for information, Commander,” he said, making a point of calling her by her rank, “Rumor has it the Red Wolves have one of those Korballan hybrids that have been making the rounds…”

He’s suddenly very aware that the room has gone quiet, except for the sound of people making sure that they have ready access to their weapons, and realizes his mistake. Even if she wanted to at this point, Xamia couldn’t be seen helping ‘the man’ without losing the respect of her gang. He quickly improvises, realizing the danger he’s put her in, puffing up his chest, “Under the authority of the United Planets…”

She smiles, baring her teeth more like a threat display than anything congenial, and he can see some of the tension leave her body as she shouts for the benefit of her followers, “The United Planets gots no juice here, lawboy, this is the ‘Bor! Doez shiny happy peoples with dere shiny happy planets ha’ made you soft, boy. Crawl back home, before people get ‘urt.” She waves a gold-plated blaster in her off-hand dismissively, and the people who had closed in behind him part and give him room to leave. Frustrated that he’s mucked this up, he lifts his hands in symbolic surrender before lowering them and walking out, noticing that Xamia is idly typing at a console on her ‘throne’ as he leaves.

He’s back on the street waiting to see if he’s misread the situation when he hears the hiss, “Hey dragon!” He still wears the logo of the Emerald Dragons, after all these years, so it’s hardly a shock that someone would recognize it, but the voice seems too young to remember a gang that broke up over a decade ago. The voice came from a darkened alley, which, to anyone else, would be a death-trap, but to an invulnerable man is but a curiosity. Jo enters the alley to find a human boy, who barely qualifies as a teenager. “You don’ ‘member where you got dis, but it sure as sprock wan’t from a Wolf.” The boy says, tossing Jo a datachip. “And th’ Lady don’ do nuthin’ for free.”

“What do I owe her?” Jo asks, deftly catching the chip and stowing it in a belt pouch.

The boy’s head tilts and Jo recognizes that he’s receiving instructions from afar, his eyes flick back to as he says, “Nothin’, dummy. Wan’t you listnin? She never gave you nuthin,’ and this never happened. Now scram, and make a big show when you go, ‘cause you been seen here is trouble. Alliances shifting. Peoples are getting’ nervous. It’s gonna be a mess.”

“You want to come with, kid? Go somewhere better than this?” Jo asks as his feet leave the ground, extending a hand to the young gang-member, so like himself all those years ago.

“Are you kidding?” the boy asks, scorn obvious on his face, “Go to Earth and live in a tiny box and eat ‘cycled food and watch ‘cycled shows and wait to die, or stay here and learn to fight and rule and someday have my own territory and my own soldiers? You can have your disposable Earth people and their disposable Earth lives, I wanna live.”

Jo just shakes his head, remembering too well that he’d have never left if he had any other choice. He lets the Ring take him up out of the slums, past the towers occupied by the rich, and into the sky that none of them could reach, even if they knew how to look up.


Posted By: Set Re: The Legion of Lightning - 08/09/17 11:22 AM
Zymyr’s last run had picked up more Korballan hybrids to buyers across the SP (and, it was rumored, Khundia, where the brutes were a fad in the Challenge Courts), and delivered a gift from the Oracle. The Legion of Super-Villain Flight Rings were a poor cousin to those worn by their rival team of heroes, having been cobbled together by Saturn Queen’s purloined information, Cosmic King’s elemental transmutation (to provide the anti-gravity element required) and some off-the-cuff figuring from Questor, who was smart enough to not join the insane Superboy-Prime's iteration of the Legion of Super-Villains, but they still served their purpose, and on this world, also provided some protection from the high gravity, if anyone wanted to brave the heat, humidity, and blood-sucking insect life the size of a man’s head. Mai Li had taken to floating around everywhere inside the compound, reveling in the freedom of flight, even if she rarely hovered more than a few inches above the floor.

Even poring over information in their private quarters, Mekt’s ‘Lightning Lady’ hovered flat on her back over their bed, reading aloud as she did.

"What about the Terror Twins?" Mai Li asked, running down the list of Winathian extra-legals who might contribute to their enterprise.

"Even by Legion of Super-Villain standards, they were considered too unstable and unreliable. Too crazy." Mekt said with a grunt, recalling some of the people that the LSV didn't think 'too unstable.'

"Well, yeah, the rest of the UP thinks you're crazy," Mai Li says with a rueful grin, before she thinks better of it.

The room grows quiet as she feels the small hairs rise on her arms with the sudden increase in static electricity. She is afraid to look to Mekt, to gauge his reaction, regretting her overly familiar tone. This was no simple man, to joke with, but an unpredictable elemental force of nature, capable of leveling a city, or killing one incautious girl, if his temper is roused.

As quickly as it rose, the static levels descend, and she can feel the energy dissipating away, as if a storm had come into being, and passed, without wind or rain or any other visible sign of its presence.

Mekt emits a strange sort of half-laugh, breaking the tension. "The United Planets thinks I'm crazy? The United Planets can blow me."

....

[Shortest entry, ever. I promise my next post will be longer!]

Posted By: Set Re: The Legion of Lightning - 08/10/17 11:10 AM
Ayla was supposed to be chatting with passengers, but after what had happened to Garth, she found herself too unsettled to mingle. Gim seemed to be mingling for both of them, and not for the first time, she wondered how his relationship with Yera worked. The colossal Legionnaire had always seemed sort of hopeless around women, before marriage, but had recently gained whatever strange sort of appeal married folk had to the wrong sort of people, who seemed fascinated by the notion of fidelity, even if they personally had none, and was now at the center of a half-dozen opportunists, circling like vultures and feigning interest in his boring stories. (Boring *made-up* stories, in this case, with him pretending to be someone else entirely!) Not for the first time, she thanked the stars that he’d latched onto the wrong Violet…

The Espionage Squad had been sent to infiltrate this star-cruise, full of an eclectic mix of young folk on their school break, just starting their lives, and retirees wanting to relax among the stars after a life of work. The space dolphins had scattered when the ship arrived, and now the view of the thin rings surrounding Neptune had gotten stale, going mostly ignored by the chatting guests as Ayla listlessly mingled, untouched glass in her hand more as a prop than anything she cared to nurse. Somewhere in the enormous transparent domed room, Yera, Jacques and Violet also surveilled the situation, but Ayla could not locate them, even if she had amused herself for several long minutes attempting to guess with of the guests or servers was actually Yera. Cham hadn’t been available, and Tinya was off duty with Mon-El, so Gim and Ayla, as ‘Espionage Squad wives,’ had been drafted to bring the mission up to five members, which seemed a safer bet than just three,

According to SP projections, there had been a suspicious amount of interest in the cruise, its flight path, the layout of the vessel and so forth, suggestive of someone ‘casing’ the cruise for an attack. With no real evidence of crime, or even a potential crime, the SP didn’t want to call off the cruise, or delegate a security force to the task, and so they requested Legion backup, and here the Espionage Squad team waited, and waited. Ayla sniffed at her drink, and supposed that, as Legion assignments went, a free cruise with her girlfriend was not the most terrible card she could have drawn…

After hours and hours of waiting, the explosion came as both a relief and a paradoxical surprise. She had worn herself out trying to be on edge for the first half of the day, only to be shaky and disoriented when the attack finally came, and Ayla was spun around by a rush that knocked dozens of guests to the floor. A lithe figure appeared in the crowd, fallen bodies all around her, and Ayla identified the silver and scarlet costume of Miss Mercury from the briefings, the speedster associated with the group.

Ayla knew something was very wrong, even before the other members if the Interplanetary Gang made their appearance, but she couldn’t quite put her finger on it…

Saturn Man entered the room like a Khund warlord surveying his domain, his squat Eurasian features suggesting the descent from Genghis Khan that he touted, and the ‘rings’ of electromagnetic force that surrounded him whirled to enclose several of the stunned cruise-goers, gripping them tight and hoisting them into the air, to float in front of him like human shields.

Jenny Jupiter’s heavy footsteps seemed like they should have shaken the room, her bodybuilder’s physique adapted to far greater than Earth-normal gravity (although nothing like that of Jupiter, like her name implied).

A thick red serpentine cloud of fine glittering particles heralded the arrival of Mars Master, whose metallo-crystalline ‘red sand’ form swirled around more of the fallen passengers, hovering around them menacingly and driving them back to their knees.

Finally Asteroid Belle floated in, attended by the orbiting spheres of stone and alloy that she called her ‘asteroids,’ as skeletally thin and tall as all belt-adapted humanoids, unable to stand in even weaker gravity fields, but in her case compensated for by her telekinetic gift.

As Ayla’s hands charged with electrical energy, wondering how to deal with the hostages, Gim pushed in front of his admirers and grew as much as the ceiling permitted, to roughly twice his already impressive height. At that size, Ayla knew he was significantly more than twice as strong and tough, and hoped that would be enough to counter Jenny Jupiter, at least.

“Ah, ah, ah, Legionnaires,” cautioned Saturn Man, an insincere grin splitting his face and revealing a profound disdain for orthodontic aesthetics. “We wouldn’t want anything unpleasant to happen to these innocent hostages, now would we?” His grin suggested the opposite was very much the case, for him, and to prove his point, the rings of energy floating near him constricted slightly, and delivered an electrical jolt to their captives, who cried out in fear and pain.

“Don’t toy with them,” said Asteroid Belle curtly to her surly companion, before turning to Ayla and Gim, “We’ve got our own superhuman source of intelligence Legionnaires, and knew that you’d be here waiting for us. So the Durlan, the Imskian and the invisible guy can all come out now, or the explosive bands Miss Mercury placed on a half dozen people in the room will start going off, and people will start losing limbs…”

At that, Ayla realized what she’d seen earlier. Several people did indeed have new bands of black metal snapped around wrists and ankles, and were tugging at them futilely, and Miss Mercury was still a blur of motion, applying bands to others.

“Just cooperate now, and nobody gets hurt.” Asteroid Belle continued, sounding reasonable and reassuring as she shifted her focus to the other passengers, “We’re just here as long as it takes everyone in this room to give us access to their credit accounts. Then we’ll be on our way, your insurance companies may or may not recoup your losses, and some of us live happily ever after. It’s just credits, nothing worth getting hurt, or worse…” with that she nodded toward Saturn Man, who seemed eager to begin hurting people…

Gim shrank to his normal height, throwing his hands up and attempting to match Asteroid Belle’s reasonable tone. “Alright, how do we make sure that nobody gets hurt.”

<This better be a bluff for time, buster,> came Violet’s voice through the telepathic implant they all shared, <I’m already in Saturn Man’s ear, and you would not believe how gross it is in here…>

<I’ve attempted to locate the trigger for the explosive bands, mes amis, but it seems that every member of the group has one, so I can’t just snatch one away and save everyone.> Jacques added.

<I can incapacitate Saturn Man, Gim can take the Jupiter girl, Ayla can handle Martian sandman…> Violet began, clearly itching for action.

<And neither myself nor Jacques is guaranteed to take out Asteroid Belle before she begins triggering explosives, and *none* of us can stop the speedster fast enough for this to be safe for the hostages.> Yera interrupted.

Gim, Jacques and Ayla begrudgingly agreed, and Violet finally conceded, <Fine, if you aren’t even going to try then this is tactically impossible.>

With that Violet emerged next to Saturn Man, growing to her full size and causing the brutish man, barely as tall as she was at her full height, to grunt with surprise. Before he could over-react, she threw her hands up, “Alright monobrow, nobody wants anyone to get hurt.”

Jacques and Yera appeared as well, the second Invisible Kid having been across the room, near the security controls, and Yera having assumed the form of one of the women chatting with her husband. Miss Mercury blurred into view in front of Ayla first, a smear of color and sound resolving into distinction as she spoke in carefully enunciated tones, as if talking to a child, “No funny business, now...” as she tugged the Flight Ring from Ayla’s finger, before moving to each of the other Legionnaires in turn.

“How do we know that you won’t go back on your word,” Gim asks with a wince, as Miss Mercury jerks his Flight Ring off his hand with a savage twist.

Asteroid Belle puts up a hand to quell an angry retort from Saturn Man before replying for the team, “You can have the detonators, when you step into the airlock. You do all have transsuits, right?” she asks rhetorically, gesturing to the airlock. As she speaks the detonators float free from her teammates and hover in front of her. “You go for a little drift among the stars, get a nice close-up view of the ice rings, and we finish our transaction and go our way. Your friends have probably already noticed that your communications are jammed, and are sending people to back you up, so let’s get this done fast. No stalling until the Daxamite shows up…”

Gim makes eye contact with Ayla and they begin moving towards the airlock, abandoning any thoughts of stalling, and somewhat crestfallen that the Interplanetary Gang, of all the mooks in the United Planets, have so flawlessly anticipated their plans. Jacques holds out a hand expectantly towards Asteroid Belle and the detonators float towards him, but remain just out of reach until he enters the airlock, at which point they drift lazily into his grasp.

Violet is the last to enter the airlock, scowling at Jenny Jupiter when she pushes the smaller Legionnaire forward. Ayla’s fist crackles with lightning at the sight, and the enormous Jovian-adapted woman steps back with a grin that almost seems apologetic, bowing her head slightly as she cycles the airlock shut. “Suits on, kiddos,” she says, before the door shuts, and she can be seen hovering her meaty hand over the emergency purge button. The transsuits are designed to activate immediately in case of pressure loss, but each of the Legionnaires triggers the manual activation, just to be sure.

<Does anyone have a spare Flight Riiiiiiiiiiiiii…> trails off a last comment from Violet over their telepathic plugs before the outer door slides open and they are flung into space, tumbling at nausea-inducing gee-forces, and have no further thought for communication.

On board the waylaid pleasure cruiser, Miss Mercury waved jauntily at the tumbling Legionnaires through the viewport, “Buh bye!” before returning to the important business of getting rich.

....

[Whaaat? A cliffhanger? I never do those!]
Posted By: Set Re: The Legion of Lightning - 08/15/17 08:23 AM
It’s been only seconds, but feels timeless, before Ayla feels something tug on her arm with great force, almost pulling it from its socket, and she can hear a telepathic cry that sounds more of outrage, than pain, from Violet, and a grunt from Gim. The sudden end to the tumbling is as disorienting in its own way as the tumbling itself was, and the relentless pressure from whatever serpentine form has ensnared her upper arm she recognizes as a limb. Yera lies stretched like some freakish spider at the center of the four spinning Legionnaires, having grappled each of them with an elongated arm or leg. The strain is visible on her face as she retracts her elastic limbs and reels the other four in, so that rather than spinning off alone to five ends of the galaxy, they are at least tumbling together.

Jacques was curled into a ball, and had no doubt that his companions thought he was retching from the disorientation of the sudden tumble into night, but he kept himself coiled tight, so that he did not lose his grip on the detonators, that might tumble into some object (however unlikely) in the void and activate. He felt the coil of Yera’s arm, or leg, he couldn’t tell which, wrapped around his lower legs like a constrictor snake, and for a moment, he whipped around the end of this organic tether before she began to reel him in. The pull against acceleration was intense, and threatened to stretch him upright and spill his precious cargo, so he clenched even tighter, as if doing the world’s longest situp. <Sacre Mere, give me strength,> he thought to himself, forgetting momentarily that he had left his telepathic implant active…

<Almost there, Jacques,> Gim’s voice echoed in his ears (actually in his mind, but it ‘sounded’ much the same), followed by, <Hang in there, honey.> This brought an involuntary smile from Jacques. It seems that he was not the only one to forget how the plugs worked in the heat of the moment.

<Will do, honey.> Ayla quipped in return, and Jacques could hear a strained chuckle from Yera as he collided softly with the others.

Much grunting and grumbling ensued as they disentangled themselves, and Jacques carefully relinquished the detonators to Ayla, who disarmed them and then gave them to Yera, who simply shoved them into her torso, where they were absorbed, to be ‘held’ until later.

All had been aware of a simmering from Violet, who had kept her silence until now. She pointed at Yera storing the detonators and ‘shouted’ over the telepathic interface, <Cham would have had a spare Flight Ring in there,> she began, working up a head of steam, <And what was with that surrender business, we could have taken them, especially if we were at full strength and not saddled a second-rate Durlan!>

<Hey now!> Gim began, but Yera stopped his angry retort with a hand over his mouth, which, given the telepathic nature of their conversation, was a purely symbolic gesture.

<Did you think to bring a spare Flight Ring?> Yerra asked calmly, quickly continuing before Violet could reply, <I didn’t think so, and Chameleon Boy isn’t here, so it doesn’t matter what he could or could not have done.>

<You don’t get to talk to me that way…> Violet began, and Jacques simply could not take it any more. <Shut up! We need to think of a way to get in contact with the Legion, and survive this, not be at each other’s throats!> he stammers to a stop, somewhat startled by his own outburst.

Ayla chose this moment to turn Violet’s face towards her, <Let’s just get out of this. Everybody knows that you don’t much like Yera, but there’s no call for that ‘second-rate Durlan’ business, unless you think I’m a second-rate lightning-user, because Garth was a Legionnaire first?> Taken aback, Violet’s anger cools to surprise, <Of course not…> Ayla smiles and adds, <Good, let’s do something constructive. They were warned and ready for us. We got played. That happens to the best of us. Once. We won’t let it happen again. And as for our ‘second-rate Durlan,’ she’s also the second person in this group to join the Legion after first infiltrating it disguised as another member, so try to let that go, for now, for me.>

<First thing we need to do is stop this acceleration.> Gim says, clearly relieved that the brewing fight has been defused. <At least we weren’t facing the planet when we got airlocked, but the rings have enough ice debris in them that we will eventually hit something, and at this speed, go splat…>

<Mass changing?> Yera asks, and Gim nods. <How will zat help us,> Jacques asks, and Violet scoffs, before replying more contritely, <Sorry, I forget that two of the five of us aren’t mass-changers and don’t just know this stuff. Our velocity is constant in a vacuum, and based on our mass. If I shrunk right now, the amount of kinetic energy would remain the same, and I’d rocket off at ridiculous speeds, never to be seen again…>

<And if ‘e grows large, he’ll slow down, because zair is only a set amount of energy, and ‘e will weigh many times more?> Jacques finished and Violet nodded.

<But my transsuit isn’t designed to support me at the sort of size that will be useful here. It won’t rip or anything, but it won’t recycle air enough to keep me alive. I’ll need to go into chem-stasis immediately, and not be woken up until we are ready for me to shrink again.> Gim finishes.

<All right, I’ve got a med-kit in my pouch here, and I know that Violet has an Imskian med-pack shrunk down on her somewhere…> she adds. <I’ve also got one,>> Gim says, holding forth his med-pack to Ayla, who has unintentionally volunteered herself for this task.

Combining the half-dozen suspension doses of all three med-kits, Ayla makes sure everyone is braced and ready for the sudden deceleration expected, and everyone awkwardly embraces one of Gim’s limbs. He takes a deep breath and slowly begins to expand. To the others, it feels like slamming into a tree, and they cling desperately to his expanding limbs, in some cases only succeeding because of the support of Yera’s elastic limbs coiling around them and lashing them to their ever-growing lifeboat. The pressure finally ends and Gim is at least 20 meters in height, looking a bit pale, as Ayla quickly injects the chemicals that will put him into stasis, so that he no longer needs the vast amounts of oxygen his body would require at that size.

With the lack of reference points, once the deceleration had ended, there seemed little difference between their previous uncontrolled spiral through the void, although Violet was all-too aware that any attempt at reducing her size to ‘get away from it all’ would just cause her to fly off like a bullet, or if she was facing the wrong way, plunge deep into Colossal Boy’s body, again, like a bullet… She wished she could talk to Ayla privately, but the telepathic implants were primitive things, compared to the telepathy of a native Titanian, with a ten meter range, no capability of communicating with those who didn’t have matching implants, cloned from the same tissue, and, what concerned her presently, no single-cast feature, only being usable to broadcast her message to everyone in range who had the same implants. Ayla was shooting her a concerned look, which suggested that the look on her face still contained some trace of her previous anger, and she forced a smile, hoping it didn’t look too forced, and shot her love a hand sign that she hoped the others wouldn’t recognize. Jacques, ever curious, and somewhat clueless, at times, tilted his and muttered <Quelle?> Violet just groaned, and raised a hand to him, while Ayla laughed softly over their intrusive shared connection. Jacques just looked confused, and Violet heard Yera patiently explaining the meaning of the gesture to their Invisible Kid, <It’s a couple thing. Advanced relationship strategy. It used to be a non-verbal signal for ‘safe word,’ but these days it means something like, ‘I love you, we’ll talk about this later, when we’ve cooled down.’> Jacques nods, <Ah, merci. What is this ‘safe word?’> Violet repeated her groan, and Ayla laughed again. Even Yera’s normally flawless poker face quirked a bit as she pondered how to answer. It was going to be a long drift-through-space…

...

Hours had passed and Ayla and Violet were cuddled together in Gim’s gigantic armpit, which was less gross than it sounded, since in space, nobody can smell your body odor. Jacques voice pulled them out of a slumber, and before their eyes had cleared, Dawnstar was floating before them, wings spread serenely, with no hint that seconds before she had been travelling near light-speed, having shed velocity in a way that seemed too much like magic for Ayla’s taste. The angelic Legion tracker opened her hand and revealed five glittering Flight Rings, <Brainiac 5 detected your Flight Rings going off-line and sent me with replacements, in case you were still alive.>

Violet squawked at the abruptness of this delivery, and then noticed the sly smile on Dawnstar’s normally stoic face. <Was that a joke?>

Dawnstar’s awkward smile grew, <Dream Girl anticipated trouble, but your rings were already jammed by the time her vision resolved. We couldn’t warn you, just send me with new rings for you. Brainy also sent a code to your previous rings, so that they’ll self-destruct if anyone tries to use them or access them or even brings them into an unjammed area or several other things. He explained that in his usual overly thorough manner. I had to end the conversation or I’d still be in his lab…> as she spoke, the others fitted their rings to their hands, and Ayla prepared an injector to wake Gim from his artificial slumber.

<Wakey, wakey big guy, we’re going home.>


Posted By: Set Re: The Legion of Lightning - 08/16/17 10:47 AM
Dawnstar has taken up the co-pilot’s chair, but seems to be ignoring the controls, shapely legs propped up on the console and eyes closed as she sits quietly. Garth couldn’t sit around the headquarters a single second longer. Even though he’d been cleared for duty after the injuries he had suffered on Winath, it seemed like some sort of malicious ‘random’ coincidence kept him from being assigned to any of the current mission teams seeking information on either Mekt, or the rash of suspiciously well-informed crimes that had been occurring throughout the United Planets, committed by criminals who had no known previous connections or particular gift for such well-planned heists… So he’d jumped to volunteer when Dreamy brushed past him on the way to the hanger, announcing that he could pilot her unscheduled rescue mission for the team including his sister.

He had the cruiser prepped and lifting off when Dreamy ‘remembered’ to inform Brainiac 5 that she was leaving, forewarned by her precognitive gifts that the mission team would need a cruiser to get home. Brainiac 5 seemed uncharacteristically cooperative and just suggested mildly that she include Dawnstar on her mission, to bring them new Flight Rings, as their own had just gone off-line. Garth was unsettled by the matter-of-fact announcement, but Dreamy pre-empted the outburst building within him by saying, “Relax, they’re fine. They just need a lift. And yes, perhaps new Flight Rings, as well. Thank you, Brainy, that’s a good suggestion.” She added, part of what Garth was considering an unusually amicable exchange between the two of them, as Dreamy had a history of riling up their Coluan genius, apparently for nothing more than her own amusement.

And so it was, that Garth was now guiding the cruiser back to earth, remaining at sub-light speed while within the planetary system, a silent Dawnstar at his side. Desperate for conversation, Garth noted that she was fingering a copper bracelet with glaze insets, and asked, “Did you get that on Starhaven?”

Without opening her eyes the tracker replied, “Yes, a gift from my mother.”

She seemed disinclined to continue the discussion, and so Garth pushed ahead, “So, you got back from Starhaven really fast. I thought Starhaven was over a light-year away? Even flying at light-speed, it should have taken you…”

Her dark eyes flicked open and her wings fluttered slightly as she interrupted him, “Almost a year, yes, I know what a light-year is, Lightning Boy.”

He was slightly taken aback by her sarcastic tone, and she continued. “They are called transient wormholes. You can ask Brainy for the detailed explanation.”

“No thanks.” Muttered Garth, with a stage shudder, and was pleased to see Dawnstar smile in sympathy. “So, homeless wormholes? They sound like dubious characters…”

“Unlike a stable wormhole, transient wormholes bubble up from the foam of spacetime, usually only lasting for seconds, and connecting somewhat randomly, making them useless, little more than a navigational hazard, to anyone who isn’t me. I can sense them forming, and usually sense where they are leading. But they are random, and there are rarely any forming near enough to be useful, and those that are forming nearby are only rarely going anywhere useful. I was fortunate enough to find one in my home system forming that opened up near Jupiter, and ‘took a shortcut home,’ so to speak.” She explained.

As she finished, the cruiser began to automatically begin the long deceleration as it approached Earth orbit, circling the planet in one of the designated braking lanes, and Garth turned his attention to the landing to come.
Posted By: Set Re: The Legion of Lightning - 08/16/17 10:47 AM
Brainiac 5 entered the meeting room to the usual grumbling from those who had arrived early about his tradition of waiting until the exact moment the meeting was scheduled to begin, as he had little patience for wasting time standing around and waiting for everyone else to arrive.

He began speaking promptly on time, trusting to his Flight Rings communications mode to reach the stragglers who proved incapable of arriving on time, or those, more understandably, unable to attend in person. “Thanks to the successful missions of Chameleon Boy, infiltrating the Sklaran smugglers ring, and Ultra Boy, following up on a Korballan Hybrid sighting on Rimbor, we’ve deduced that we have multiple threads to follow, which makes it fortunate that we are a Legion of Super-Heroes.” Brainy pretended to consult a datapad, the contents of which he already had memorized anyway, to give the assembled Legionnaires time to process his statements. “I intend to send separate teams to multiple locations to address the situations arising, but I wish to stress that I have not 100% confirmed the location of Lightning Lord, or the operation by which he is creating these hybrids, or the system by which he is distributing them across the UP.”

He could see the look of impatient frustration on Garth’s face as he said these last words, and had anticipated this, turning to directly address the Founder, “Lightning Lad, I expect you want to lead the team to the most likely location of your brother?” Garth stood up, enthusiastically nodding his approval, and Brainy continued before he could interrupt his speech, “Fine, you can have Saturn Girl and Colossal Boy for your team. Dawnstar has expressed an interest in finding out how they are obscuring themselves from her tracking power, so she’ll be joining you, and Timber Wolf will be joining you as well, as he’ll be particularly useful there. I have missions for the rest of the team.”

Dream Girl stood up and stretched to draw attention to herself, “I’ll be going, of course.” As Brainy started to object, she simply held up a hand, “I’ve already foreseen it. Don’t fight fate.”

Brainy just waved a hand dismissively, and turned again to Garth. “I’ve transmitted the most likely location to your cruiser, as well as less likely candidates in descending order of probability.” His face scrunched up slightly as he forced himself to add, “Good luck,” despite finding the concept of wishing someone ‘luck’ to be superstitious nonsense.

Posted By: Fat Cramer Re: The Legion of Lightning - 08/19/17 07:57 AM
Where's the rest??? I'm very eager to read the rest of this tale!

What an interesting take on Mekt Ranzz. Something else else of a dark hero to Winathian singletons, opportunistic, thinking himself the uncontested leader of this new Legion and partnering with someone who's a little crazier than he is. You've written the most interesting prison break account, much more clever and futuristic than just blasting out of Takron-Galtos.

Of course the LSV would have knock-off flight rings and you explain very well how they got them. This group's trade in manufactured super-sentients is creepy but all too credible, as is the willingness of some people to act as their guinea pigs. Even though they're a young group, they take the Legionnaires by surprise. That's a really creative use of Colossal Boy to save everyone in space.

Love the FastNews items. It's the future, but sentient behaviour doesn't change much.

Vivid description of Rimbor, the evolution of the gangs since Jo left, advertising blanketing the sky, filled with smog, the young gang member who'd rather try his chances on Rimbor than live a straight life on Earth.

Transient wormholes are a fascinating idea, something which only Dawnstar can exploit (although I expect Brainy is studying them and trying to find a way to predict their appearance).

The Oracle promises to be a real challenge for the Legionnaires - and I hope this means Dream Girl will be playing a big role in future installments.

I like this depiction of Brainiac 5 and how his brain works. Not a jerk, but not relating to other people on a normal sentient level. Still a bit of a mystery even to longtime friends/team mates.

Wow, I don't think I've ever read a piece in which Ayla points out that she impersonated a Legionnaire before Yera did. That's a very touching comment she makes to try and get Vi to be less angry with Yera.
Posted By: Set Re: The Legion of Lightning - 08/19/17 09:42 AM
Originally Posted by Fat Cramer
Where's the rest??? I'm very eager to read the rest of this tale!


The final chapter(s) of this third of the story are in-process right now, but might not be finished until after my next chance to seriously write, which will be Monday night/Tuesday morning. Glad you are enjoying it so far!

Quote
What an interesting take on Mekt Ranzz. Something else else of a dark hero to Winathian singletons, opportunistic, thinking himself the uncontested leader of this new Legion and partnering with someone who's a little crazier than he is. You've written the most interesting prison break account, much more clever and futuristic than just blasting out of Takron-Galtos.


Thanks! I wanted it to seem plausible that a person (with great access to information) could engineer a jailbreak without making the authorities at Takron-Galtos seem incompetent!

Quote
Of course the LSV would have knock-off flight rings and you explain very well how they got them. This group's trade in manufactured super-sentients is creepy but all too credible, as is the willingness of some people to act as their guinea pigs. Even though they're a young group, they take the Legionnaires by surprise. That's a really creative use of Colossal Boy to save everyone in space.


Yeah, they seemed to have LSV 'flight rings' in Legion of Three Worlds, and while I didn't like a lot of it, it seemed like something they could do, with Cosmic King, Saturn Queen, Esper Lass, etc. on the case.

Quote
Love the FastNews items. It's the future, but sentient behaviour doesn't change much.

Vivid description of Rimbor, the evolution of the gangs since Jo left, advertising blanketing the sky, filled with smog, the young gang member who'd rather try his chances on Rimbor than live a straight life on Earth.

Transient wormholes are a fascinating idea, something which only Dawnstar can exploit (although I expect Brainy is studying them and trying to find a way to predict their appearance).

The Oracle promises to be a real challenge for the Legionnaires - and I hope this means Dream Girl will be playing a big role in future installments.


Thanks, I love that you've picked up on some of the fun little details I've gone for (local color on Rimbor, how Dawnstar can *occasionally* outpace cruisers that routinely go faster than her top speed, etc.), and yeah, I have plans for Dreamy! I want to try and give everyone a moment to shine, even if it's a personal interaction, or even just the respect in which they are held by their enemies, and not necessarily a display or power or something.

I also like the idea of people from 'power worlds' who aren't Legionnaires, and aren't just copycats (like Magno Lad, Saturn Queen, etc. can sometimes be), particularly those from worlds we don't see as many rivals from, like Naltor (there are a bunch of 'evil Titanians' by comparison).

Quote
I like this depiction of Brainiac 5 and how his brain works. Not a jerk, but not relating to other people on a normal sentient level. Still a bit of a mystery even to longtime friends/team mates.

Wow, I don't think I've ever read a piece in which Ayla points out that she impersonated a Legionnaire before Yera did. That's a very touching comment she makes to try and get Vi to be less angry with Yera.


Yeah, I felt like Ayla was saving that as an argument-ender, if the time came. The parallels are interesting, and it was fun how complicated the situation could be. Violet could snap at Gim, and make comments about him not being an Espionage Squad member, but then, there's Ayla, again. Ayla, whether intentionally or not, can kind of counter some of Violet's best 'anti-Yera' arguments. smile

Thanks for the feedback!
Posted By: Set Re: The Legion of Lightning - 08/19/17 07:49 PM
“They’re coming.” Mai Li says in a small voice, wrapping her arms around herself as she closes the channel to her oracular benefactor.

Somewhere in the far corners of the room, a Korballan Hybrid bellows mournfully, before its handler silences it.

“Let them come,” replies Mekt with conviction, his blue eyes flaring up with electricity.

….

The storm raging over their target area on the southern continent seems a bad omen to Garth, who remembers all-too-well his brothers’ mad obsession with violent weather, but Timber Wolf assures him that it rains almost every day on this part of Zuun, and that it would be stranger if there wasn’t a thunderstorm raging somewhere.

From orbit, the compound where Dr. Mar Londo had experimented on his only son could not even be detected through the storm’s interference, and Garth silently exited the cruiser, anticipating trouble. As the cruiser descended through the clouds, he was not disappointed as missiles arced from the ground towards the cruiser. A few quick bursts of lightning destroyed whatever guidance systems steered them, and they veered off and self-destructed, well before falling back into the thick canopy of the rain forest that stretched for kilometers in every direction below him. He could see a few cleared areas, appearing as natural clearings, but suspiciously well suited for landing sites, and the cruiser banked for the one closest to the base, as Imra had already anticipated his choice. At this stage in their relationship, he had no idea if she was using telepathy, or just knew what he was thinking because she knew him that well, but he was thankful for it.

As he decelerated, the raindrops began to feel more like projectiles, the heavier gravity of Zuun causing their impacts to feel weightier, even if the individual droplets seemed smaller than he was familiar with. The choice of the closest possible landing site might indeed be best, to minimize the amount of time the team needed to spend exposed to this climate, where everything would strike with unexpected force, and a tumble to the ground could be fatal.

The cruiser landed near a smaller camouflaged ship with no further signs of hostility from the ‘abandoned’ compound, and Saturn Girl, Colossal Boy, Dawnstar and Timber Wolf emerged into the rain, with Imra, Gim and Dawny also activating their Flight Rings immediately to counter the extreme gravity. Timber Wolf grunted as he left the cruiser and felt as if he’d gained hundreds of kilos, but otherwise seemed unaffected, his body having been specifically adapted to easily overcome this world’s gravity. “Is Dreamy coming out?” Garth asked and Imra just smirked. “She said, and I quote, ‘In this rain? With this hair? Pshh. You won’t need me in there.’” Garth just rolled his eyes and the team moved forward.

As they advanced on the compound, Garth kept an eye out for other defensive measures, until Brin pointed out that they were being observed by predators he had not seen. He put on a display of lightning, and was aware of Imra intensifying whatever doubts his demonstration had aroused in the mind of their hunters with her telepathy, broadcasting unease so broadly that he felt a glimpse of it himself. A fluttering from the canopy revealed a half-dozen bat-like creatures, easily large enough to snatch up a humanoid creature, winging away, and he was grateful for his teammate assistance.

As they reached the entrance to the compound, Gim asked, “Go big?” and Garth nodded approval. “Big entrance.”

Gim sighed, knowing what usually came next, and increased in size over mere seconds to 20 meters in height, the most he could comfortably accommodate under the thick canopy, even on this world of oversized flora and fauna. He crouched slightly and then slammed his arms right through the wall of the reinforced bunker, like a child smashing through a pile of blocks. At that size, he was a thousand times stronger than a normal man, and while that strength was far less than the world-shaking power of a Daxamite or Kryptonian, it still proved more than adequate to bring down the facing wall. A cloud of debris temporarily obscured what lay beyond, but a dozen lightning bolts arced out of the dust to splash across Gim’s vast form. He raised an arm, blinded and deafened momentarily by the barrage, and finally staggered back, overwhelmed as Imra, Garth, Dawny and Brin charged in, using the colossal Legionnaire’s enormous body as cover.

With the destruction of the wall, the tesseract field that the inhabitants had been using to normalize gravity also failed, and everyone not wearing a knock-off ‘Flight Ring’ was cut down like wheat by the sudden return of Zuun-standard gravity. The Korballan hybrids proved strong enough to keep to their trunk-like elephantine feet, and the Lightning Lord and Lady, and their ‘Blood Brothers,’ Lev and Kiln, remained able to move, but the half-dozen other recruits, a mixture of Winathian singletons, Rimborian gangsters and riff-raff of less established pedigrees, fell heavily to the ground and did not rise, some groaning under the pain of broken limbs, others lying very still, hoping to avoid that very fate (or being stepped on by a Korballan hybrid…).

Dawnstar, of course, was first into the fray, a white winged blur who flew with supreme confidence through the obscuring dust, and struck the first Blood Brother before he was even aware that she had entered the room. While he lost consciousness instantly from the speed and precision of her blow, a flash of electricity from even that momentary contact threw her into a tumble, and she landed bruised and battered at the feet of a puzzled hybrid. Its twin tentacles flared with electricity, but it chose instead to trample her with its leathery purple foot, only to stagger back as Timber Wolf launched through the air, evading a pair of bolts of lightning from the corners of the room like they were moving in slow motion, to slam into the hybrid like a thunderbolt of his own, throwing it back and giving Dawnstar time to get to her feet and fly out of the building and straight up, also mere instants ahead of a lightning blast that scorched the ground where she had lain.

Coming through the haze, Saturn Girl and Lightning Lad floated together, lacking the superhuman speed and senses that gave their teammates such confidence. Timber Wolf was a blur of motion, illuminated in freeze-frame moments by the flash of lightning, as he moved from target to target like an engine of destruction. Four Korballan hybrids fell in twice as many seconds, their great strength and lightning projection abilities unable to come to terms with a man who moved faster than they could aim their lighting bolts, and struck with the strength of a berserk Zuunian megasaur.

Saturn Girl first became aware of a sinister presence when a half-dozen shambling forms emerged from niches in the walls, lurching slowly forward in the heightened gravity. Each was a human in form, but all had pale graying skin and dead eyes. From their minds, she sensed nothing at all. Failed experiments, they had died when they rejected their implants, but the ‘Lightning Lady’ had found herself able to animate their bio-electricity-infused corpses with mechanical interfaces, so that they responded sluggishly to her will, lumbering forward to provide another line of defense. Knowing that her telepathy would provide no defense, she called out to Timber Wolf as she floated out of their range, while also attempting to dodge the electrical discharges coming from the ornate scepter that this ‘Lightning Lady’ carried. The young Winathian woman laughed, seemingly unconcerned that she was not hitting her target, apparently satisfied to just be keeping her at bay.

The Lightning Lord and Lightning Lad had squared off a few meters above the milling ‘lightning zombies’ flailing ineffectually beneath them, a constant strobing of lightning passing between them as they tested each other’s defenses. Whatever words flew from Mekt’s spittle-flecked lips were drowned out by the thunder that accompanied their fight, and the others could no longer see them, or even look in the direction of their fight.

Mai Li’s vision was shielded by gold-tinted goggles that came down from the spiky crown that she wore, and she glanced towards the fight between Mekt and his younger brother as she continued directing the lightning zombies, and tossing bolts of stunning electricity towards Imra’s position, not caring if she really hit her, just wanting to keep the telepath too busy dodging to concentrate on her powers. “He’s glorious, isn’t he?” she said to her opponent, “How does it feel to know that you picked the wrong brother, mind-witch?”

Imra resists the urge to scoff aloud, saving her breath for dodging the errant bolts of lightning coming her way, while not passing low enough to the ground to be grabbed and pulled down by the corpses of this madwoman’s unfortunate ‘failures.’ She could see Garth leading Mekt on, counting on his temper to allow him to be guided outside of the building entirely, where their conflict would no longer endanger his teammates, and she silently thanked him for this.

Brin began to move through the lightning zombies as he had the Korballan hybrids, only to be blasted from the air at his first impact, the bodies having been outfitted with some sort of reactive armor that released a powerful stunning jolt of electricity to anyone who struck them. He was staggered, but managed to roll to his feet and launch into the air, using his Flight Ring for the first time, as the zombies closed in around him. Groggy, he grabbed the first heavy thing he could find, the body of an unconscious Korballan hybrid, and used it as a club to sweep the shambling zombies aside.

Mai Li’s face had twisted into a triumphant smirk when Brin went down, but changed quickly to a look of outrage as her zombies began to fall. Mekt had left, soaring out of the building in pursuit of his brother, and she felt a seed of doubt for the first time, turning with a scowl to find the Titanian mind-witch hovering right in front of her. She raised her lightning scepter and smirked, pointing to her ornate crown, “Do you think I didn’t know I was going to eventually face a telepath, and didn’t prepare accordingly?”

Imra just shook her head dismissively. “Oh child. Commercial grade psi-shielding against *me?* Might as well wear rubber shoes and think yourself immune to lightning…”

The ‘Lady of Lightning’ didn’t hear the end of Imra’s statement. Her elaborate crown sparked and flared as the off-the-shelf psi-shielding is overwhelmed by Saturn Girl’s telepathic onslaught, and Mai Li slumps to the floor, unconscious. Lacking her direction, the remaining ‘lightning zombies’ shuffle to a stop, and stand around, arms hanging limply at their sides.

Brin lands, kicking aside a chain with a visible expression of disgust, and walks over to Imra before muttering with a grin, “Showoff…” Imra slumps slightly, feeling the beginning of a monstrous headache coming on from this overuse of her telepathic facility. “Worth it,” she says, as much to herself as in reply to him.

The sound of thunder above them reminds them that the fight is not yet done, and Timber Wolf asks, “I can’t touch Lightning Lord. Been zapped enough today. Can you help?”

Saturn Girl nods in the negative. “I might have overdone it just now. It’s going to be a few hours before I can be ‘shouting’ again telepathically. But Garth is fine. Dawnstar’s up there with him. Let’s go see how Gim is doing.”

They turned to the hole in the front of the building, through which they could see the enormous man, unconscious and tunic scorched from a half-dozen blasts of lightning, but not apparently harmed. “I feel bad that he always takes it in the face like that.” Brin says. “That’s his job,” Imra says matter-of-factly. “He makes a big target, and takes the hits that you and I wouldn’t survive, so that people like you can get in there and do some damage. It’s not like much can really hurt him at that size. He just gets knocked down a lot…”

Imra notices that Brin is hurt, but he shrugs it off, just saying that he wants out of this place. Looking around at the ‘lightning zombies’ standing nearby, arms limply at their sides, heads lolling as they stand around waiting for orders from their ‘Lightning Lady,’ Imra shudders and agrees.

….

Farther from the compound, moving with a purpose and trying to ignore the sound of thunder behind him, afraid to look back and see Mekt coming to punish him for this ‘betrayal,’ Lek Donavi carries his ‘brother’ Kiln towards the small ship parked near the Legion cruiser, thankful for the electrically-enhanced superhuman strength he’s gained over this long, strange trip. It had seemed like a grand adventure for a singleton who’d always felt like an embarrassment among his own family, but this had gotten so past crazy that he was just praying that he could escape this madhouse. When the first of his fellow Winathian recruits had died, it seemed like a page had turned, and this whole ‘lightning zombie’ business was something out of a terrible nightmare. Mekt and Mai Li were crazy, and he just wanted out…

“Hi there!” came a melodic voice before him, and he looked up to see a flying woman in an improbable one-piece silver bodysuit, and lank wet platinum blonde hair, looking somehow perky, yet bedraggled. She had something in her hand, which she tossed to his feet and his heart sank as he recognized the starter module for his ship. Her hand quickly moves to steady the weapon in her other hand, which she points at him. “Do you know who I am?”

“The super-hot one who can see the future?” Lek says, resignedly.

The Naltorian legionnaire perks up, obviously pleased at this description. “Thank you! Yes, I’m Dream Girl. Now, I’ve already foreseen what you are going to try to do, and I will absolutely sedate your ass before you can move. The only reason I haven’t done that already, is that I don’t feel like dragging *both* of you to the cruiser through this mud.”

“Shall we?” She adds, with a smile and slow drift through the air to the side, giving him room to continue past her.

Lek sighs and plods forward, leaving the white-haired precognitive to follow, gun at his back.

When they get to the cruiser, he places his ‘brother’ into a medical tube, to make sure that his micro-second-long ‘fight’ with Timber Wolf hadn’t caused any traumatic brain injury, and Dream Girl hands him a length of handcuff tape and a neural restraint. It’s only after he’s allowed her to slap the neural ‘cuff’ on his temple, neutralizing his capacity for violent resistance, that he notices that the gun she’s been holding is a stunner. “Wait a second…”

“Yes, it’s an electrical stunner, and wouldn’t have worked in the rain, or on a lightning-user. Did you infer that it was a needler full of sedatives? Oops. I *may* have given that impression. So sorry.” Dream Girl says primly, before flipping the sodden mass of her hair over one shoulder and regarding the trail of mud that Lek had tracked into the Legion cruiser with an expression of tragedy.

….

In the skies above, Garth and Mekt orbit around an invisible central point, like two aerialists tied to each other by constant streams of electrical energy. Their conflict has caused actual lightning bolts to strike ever nearer, and Dawnstar dances between them, sensing the paths between build up and discharge intuitively, calculating where she needs to move with a speed that Brainiac 5 might be able to match, in his head, but would never be able to attain, with his body. She senses opportunity, and passes directly behind Mekt, careful not to brush against his electrified body. The sonic boom of her passage creates a thunder of its own, hurling Mekt forward onto his brother’s fist, and as he reels back, a massive torrent of lightning from Garth overloads and melts the faux ‘Flight Ring’ from Mekt’s finger.

The Lightning Lord begins to plummet from the skies, Zuun’s heavy gravity pulling him to a certain death, and Dawnstar, still unwilling to touch him, flies beneath him and up at great speed, creating a powerful updraft that slows his fall enough that Lightning Lad can grab onto his brothers arm and arrest his fall. In the split second before his own Flight Ring adjusts, Mekt seems to weigh half a ton, and Garth feels like his arms are being torn from their sockets. With Dawnstar’s help, he lowers his brother to the ground.

“Thanks Dawny,” Garth says, but Dawnstar replies, “WHAT?” He realizes that she’s been nearly deafened by all the thunder and sonic booms, and so just holds a thumb’s up. “WHAT?” she repeats, and he shakes his head and begins laughing.

****

Posted By: Set Re: The Legion of Lightning - 08/19/17 07:51 PM
And that's the wrap for this first chapter, the Legion of Lightning Lords. (I obviously had more free time than expected this weekend, since I just said this morning that I might not get to it until Tuesday morning, plus I'd already plotted out most of this final bit in my head.) smile

The next chapter, tentatively titled 'The Oracle at Delphi,' is in development!

Posted By: razsolo Re: The Legion of Lightning - 08/20/17 05:59 AM
I love the Interplanetary Gang, individually and with how smart they are as supervillains which is not something you see a lot of! I also really liked the detailed description of how everyone had to stop themselves from being flung off in all directions and Gim coming to the rescue...lots of good character bits already too, such as Dawnstar's utter disregard for any kind of small talk and Dreamy refusing to go out into the Zuun rain. I am enjoying this a lot! smile
Posted By: Set Re: The Legion of Lightning - 08/20/17 09:50 AM
Originally Posted by razsolo
I love the Interplanetary Gang, individually and with how smart they are as supervillains which is not something you see a lot of!


I'm fond of them too, although they weren't just smart, they were *prepared,* because, and I failed to properly note this, but will later, they also have been making use of the Oracle's crime-supporting predictive services.

I'd created them a long time ago. Asteroid Belle, while physically frail, is a whiz at mathematics and keeping complex tasks on point, and has naturally gravitated to leading the group, because she's just the most efficient and effective. Saturn Man is violent and thuggish, and considers himself the leader, which the others mostly humor, while trying to keep him from killing anybody (since they don't really want that level of heat, and most are just not that 'evil'). Mars Master's body has dissolved into a red silicate form, and he's just 'doing crime' to try and find a cure, and is explicitly avoiding killing anyone, because he plans on getting cured, spending some time in prison, and resuming his life! Jenny Jupiter is incredibly strong and kind of angry about having not been taken seriously all her life. Miss Mercury is just bored, and thinks this is fun. There could be others, but I wanted a smaller group, so the addictive gas-cloud generating hippy dude representing Venus and the creepy dark energy child- thing representing Pluto get left off-screen.

The ambush mainly existed to showcase the Oracle's information-brokerage in action (which I'll need to bring up later, when the Legion starts to go after the Oracle's network), and how even the Legion can't win every fight (since I certainly didn't want to create the impression that I was just handing them victories, and that when they do win, it's because they are awesome, not because they are getting free passes).

Well, and to give a reason for the character bit afterwards, where they were tumbling through space. I definitely wanted that scene. smile

Quote
I also really liked the detailed description of how everyone had to stop themselves from being flung off in all directions and Gim coming to the rescue...


Thanks! I hadn't originally intended for there to be three people capable of changing their mass on this team, but that's how it all fell out. Jacques was handy serving as the one who had to have it explained to him. I tried to give everyone some hints of competence, even if they weren't going to win that fight. (Violet was in-place and ready to take out Saturn Man, Jacques was standing next to the security controls *and* his quick thinking saved the detonators, Yera's elastic limbs kept everyone tethered, Gim slowed their possibly fatal plunge into the planetary rings and Ayla defused the tension and kept the situation cool.) I could have used Chameleon Boy, instead of Girl, but he's a little too competent, sometimes, and I wanted the dynamic with Gim, Yera, Vi and Ayla, instead. Similarly, if Tinya was there, Jo would have likely tagged along, and he's ultra-fast and a bit impulsive, so not a great choice for a mission in which a sudden wrong move could get lots of people killed... Plus I had plans for Jo and Tinya later, and don't want to overuse any one Legionnaire, at the expense of under-using someone else.

That said, I'm having trouble not putting Dawnstar on every team. She's just so fun to write, and her powers are luscious to describe. I've got to work on that. smile

Quote
lots of good character bits already too, such as Dawnstar's utter disregard for any kind of small talk and Dreamy refusing to go out into the Zuun rain. I am enjoying this a lot! smile


Glad you liked it!

I got a grin myself writing scenes where Imra just blows through the 'psi-shielding' or Dreamy tricks the superhuman foe to give up with a weapon she can't even use on him (and thanks him when he calls her 'super-hot').

I'd wanted to include more, like Brin reacting to the old base where his father experimented on him, but felt like it would be a bit too much. Not everyone needed to react to everything, and, after his scene in the Great Darkness Saga, where Darkseid tries to take people out with 'their greatest fears' and Brin's kind of like, 'Huh?' it might be cooler to just have him have moved on, and not be all angsty about his past anymore. The teams got enough angst, and Brin (however capable), bless his heart, has never been the deepest end of the pool...

Thanks for the feedback!

Posted By: Harbinger Re: The Legion of Lightning - 08/20/17 03:44 PM
So much to review - hoorah!

Rimbor by Adlight, indeed... very nice take on everyone's favourite planetary gangland, from the tremendous adverts though to Jo's distrust of the spaceport to the talk he had with Xamia and the young boy at the end who couldn't see past the gang culture he'd be brought up in. This is perhaps my favourite post so far, which is high praise as they are all tremendous.

Mekt and Mai Li's little venture is certainly spreading, which is very worrying. The beasts are even in Khundia? That's a scary thought that the Khund could get access to something like that as they have only been shown as a militaristic race, who knows where that could lead! Ouch, the Terror Twins were too unstable for the LSV? They must be really, really mentally unhinged given some of the rogues they included. Interesting that Mekt is so touchy about what the UP think of him, I would have put him dowm as a lot more aloof than that, but he's never the most stable gyroscope, is he?

Great character moment for Ayla - from her boredom at listening to Gim's made up stories, her happiness that he had latched onto the wrong Violet, and her concerns for Garth. Great stuff, very neatly delivered." Espionage squad wives" - actually laughed out loud at that, classic! Great descriptions of the interplanetary gang, who needs pictures? They're a strange bunch so perfect as Legion villains.I assume their source of information is the Oracle? Whoever it or they are is definitely getting onto the teams radar now. Well, that was a bit of a disastrous mission for the squad - Miss Mercury putting those bomb bracelets on the tourists has kind of won the fight before it even started - Vi wanting to fight and Yera being the voice of reason was well written, even more reason for Vi to dislike her now. The step into the airlock was worrying - I expected Mon El or Wildfire to turn up as a last minute save, like in so many Levitz stories. Hopefully you'll give the team a chance to get their own back at some point, in fact I'm looking forward to it.

Nice little scene with Vi turning on Yera - I really wish she's get over her anger, in fact it was because that has been her dominant personality for so long that I killed Vi in my fic, I can't stand the angry young victim trope for long. Ayla calming things down and Jacques outburst were all great. I'd never thought about it before so really appreciated you highlighting that Ayla also joined while impersonating another team member - nice catch. Also the physics of travelling in space is well outside my understanding that your explanation of mass slowing velocity was really appreciated. Though it's a bit of a design flaw of Gim's transsuit doesn't supply him with enough air when in giant form. Jacques not understanding 'safe word' was funny, he's quite naïve really, bless him.

"in space, nobody can smell your body odor" -ha, that's a tag line waiting to happen! Your take in Dawnstar is great, from her sly humour to pragmatism in the face of Brainy's overly thorough explanations.

Garth's frustration and Dawnstar's sarcasm were well written - I really like your Dawny. Transient Wormholes? What a great idea and explanation Set, bravo!

And in one post you nail down Brainy perfectly - from not wanting to waste any time, to giving his teammates a couple of seconds to process the information, to taking change on the basis of the information he's got, to npt fighting with Dreamy despite the provocation to his final begrudged "good luck" - that was a really well done post!

That's all I've time for now Set, sorry, I've got to run. Will finish off later in the week.

Until then, I'm looking forward to more, more, more! smile
Posted By: Set Re: The Legion of Lightning - 08/20/17 07:35 PM
Originally Posted by Harbinger
So much to review - hoorah!
Rimbor by Adlight, indeed... very nice take on everyone's favourite planetary gangland, from the tremendous adverts though to Jo's distrust of the spaceport to the talk he had with Xamia and the young boy at the end who couldn't see past the gang culture he'd be brought up in. This is perhaps my favourite post so far, which is high praise as they are all tremendous.


Thanks!

I wanted to highlight one of the behind-the-scenes information-gathering missions that would give Brainy the data he needed to track down Mekt’s potential hiding places (since they’d taken steps to prevent Dawny from just saying, ‘Yeah, he’s over there.’), and while Chameleon Boy infiltrating some criminal gang would be the obvious choice, I wanted something less obvious. Ultra Boy on an intel mission to Rimbor seemed like a neat left-of-center choice. Rimbor would be a logical place to purchase these hybrids (or possibly electrical empowerment for their enforcers), and Jo, when last we saw him on Rimbor, framed for the murder of An Ryd, showed some cool streetwise saavy that he doesn’t really get to show off when he’s surrounded by geniuses and espionage experts.

Quote
Mekt and Mai Li's little venture is certainly spreading, which is very worrying. The beasts are even in Khundia? That's a scary thought that the Khund could get access to something like that as they have only been shown as a militaristic race, who knows where that could lead! Ouch, the Terror Twins were too unstable for the LSV? They must be really, really mentally unhinged given some of the rogues they included. Interesting that Mekt is so touchy about what the UP think of him, I would have put him dowm as a lot more aloof than that, but he's never the most stable gyroscope, is he?


Having Zymyr on smuggling duty (and what is he charging for that? Seems like a seller’s market for untraceable black market teleportation…) sure helps getting ‘product’ to places like Rimbor and Sklar and Khundia! And yeah, Mekt, kind of touchy, in general. XBombBetty

Quote
Great character moment for Ayla - from her boredom at listening to Gim's made up stories, her happiness that he had latched onto the wrong Violet, and her concerns for Garth. Great stuff, very neatly delivered." Espionage squad wives" - actually laughed out loud at that, classic! Great descriptions of the interplanetary gang, who needs pictures? They're a strange bunch so perfect as Legion villains.I assume their source of information is the Oracle? Whoever it or they are is definitely getting onto the teams radar now. Well, that was a bit of a disastrous mission for the squad - Miss Mercury putting those bomb bracelets on the tourists has kind of won the fight before it even started - Vi wanting to fight and Yera being the voice of reason was well written, even more reason for Vi to dislike her now. The step into the airlock was worrying - I expected Mon El or Wildfire to turn up as a last minute save, like in so many Levitz stories. Hopefully you'll give the team a chance to get their own back at some point, in fact I'm looking forward to it.


Glad you liked the characterization with Ayla. She’s not even my fourth favorite Legion lady, and yet, right after Dawnstar, she’s in my top two for writing, because she’s just so darn cool to write. She’s emotional, when it’s called for, and level-headed and pragmatic, when others are losing their cool, and, when it’s time to return to Orando and face the entire LSV single-handedly, she’s got the fire in her belly to do just that!

Quote
Nice little scene with Vi turning on Yera - I really wish she's get over her anger, in fact it was because that has been her dominant personality for so long that I killed Vi in my fic, I can't stand the angry young victim trope for long. Ayla calming things down and Jacques outburst were all great. I'd never thought about it before so really appreciated you highlighting that Ayla also joined while impersonating another team member - nice catch. Also the physics of travelling in space is well outside my understanding that your explanation of mass slowing velocity was really appreciated. Though it's a bit of a design flaw of Gim's transsuit doesn't supply him with enough air when in giant form. Jacques not understanding 'safe word' was funny, he's quite naïve really, bless him.


Violet is kind of one note, since her time in the sens-tank. On the one hand that makes her kind of uncomplicated to write, on the other hand, it’s also like ‘angry Violet is angry’ has become shorthand for ‘I’m not going to bother with any deeper characterization for this character.’ Even when she does have some development (like Levitz describing her as keeping track of subversive groups), it’s easily seen to derive from her experiences at the hands of the Imskian separatists. I feel like it should have run its course, but don’t feel comfortable just hand-waving it away… Eh.

I’m kind of characterizing Jacques as clueless about relationships, in particular. He’s on a mission with two couples, and he doesn’t ‘couple,’ expressing no interest in the lads or the ladies (barring a political marriage to Drura in some other continuity), so I’m flirting with the idea that he’s asexual.

Quote
"in space, nobody can smell your body odor" -ha, that's a tag line waiting to happen! Your take in Dawnstar is great, from her sly humour to pragmatism in the face of Brainy's overly thorough explanations.

Garth's frustration and Dawnstar's sarcasm were well written - I really like your Dawny. Transient Wormholes? What a great idea and explanation Set, bravo!

And in one post you nail down Brainy perfectly - from not wanting to waste any time, to giving his teammates a couple of seconds to process the information, to taking change on the basis of the information he's got, to npt fighting with Dreamy despite the provocation to his final begrudged "good luck" - that was a really well done post!


Dawny, like Ayla, is not my favorite Legion lady (those would be Shady, Tinya, Lu and Dreamy, which is why I’m trying not to overuse them, and spend some time with the others!), and yet I just love, love, love her ‘voice,’ and describing her visuals. She’s just a treat to write. And the transient wormholes are just my fanwank for why she’s occasionally able to beat a hyperspace-travelling cruiser to the action, despite flying ‘only’ at around lightspeed… smile

Brainy’s as much of a challenge, narratively, as Dawnstar’s tracking power. I really had to work out how someone could keep a plan under his radar for any length of time, and how a foe, even one that might have advantages like precognition, could possibly counter a Coluan brain actively interested in ferreting out their secrets… (Hopefully, when all is said and done, I’ll have done so credibly.)

Thanks again for the awesome feedback!
Posted By: Invisible Brainiac Re: The Legion of Lightning - 08/22/17 01:48 PM
Great story Set! I really enjoyed reading this.

Love the news headlines, and I had a little laugh at the mega Dune / Avatar / what have you crossover and Hocus Focus.

Great exploration of the "culture" on Rimbor; Jo's old friend helping him but on her own terms, Jo's knowledge of the culture - trying to offe rthe kid a way out, kid not taking it; him "reading" everything that was happening, giving his friend a chance to save face while still helping him...

Your take on Brainy is already a fave. You and I have the same read on his ability to understand the "illogical" practices of less intelligent beings, and occasionally deigning to accommodate them out of practicality and/or friendship. The way you show and describe it is amazing - he will not show up to a meeting early because seconds are precious, but makes a show of checking an Omnicom to give people time to process things. And your description of him using his super brain is wonderfully visual!

The Interplanetary Gang are a great group. Even before you explained it, I had already guessed that most of them didn't want to kill anyone - their motives are to enrich themselves, NOT to satisfy bloodlust and potentially get into bigger trouble! Would love to see them again.

Your Oracle is interesting and has the potential to be a major thorn in the Legion's side.

The whole bit with the Legionnaires floating through space was great. Jacques is so... inexperienced wink Loved the dynamics if the two couples, their little code words and understanding each other. Ayla was great, I love how you have her level-headed and mature, a great contrast to your grumpy Violet (who is mature enough to tone it down)

Gim's job, lol. Great conversation between Brin and Imra

The super-hot one who can see the future!

Great moments for everyone, and love your use of Dawnstar. Dreamy using her wits, Imra casually overpowering the weak psi-shielding, Garth leading Mekt away, Brin changing battle tactics quickly, and the insight about non-invulnerable Legionaires needing to be careful, all great

Finally, great exploration of the singleton stigma of Winath. Mekt's rage and Mai Li's fetishization of singelhood... your Lightning Brothers are interesting too and I hope we see them again. The Lightning Zombies, creepier than the Korbalian hybrids; but both are a testament to the twisted thinking of Mekt and Mai Li. Whew! so was her keeping her mentor alive (because she had to) and keeping her hated twin alive because she needed th ebody for her escape... brrr! that girl is scary!

Can't wait for more...
Posted By: Set Re: The Legion of Lightning - 08/22/17 03:38 PM
Originally Posted by Invisible Brainiac
Great story Set! I really enjoyed reading this.

Love the news headlines, and I had a little laugh at the mega Dune / Avatar / what have you crossover and Hocus Focus.


I had fun writing those out, coming up with absurd sorts of products or shows for the far, far future.

Quote
Great exploration of the "culture" on Rimbor; Jo's old friend helping him but on her own terms, Jo's knowledge of the culture - trying to offe rthe kid a way out, kid not taking it; him "reading" everything that was happening, giving his friend a chance to save face while still helping him...

Your take on Brainy is already a fave. You and I have the same read on his ability to understand the "illogical" practices of less intelligent beings, and occasionally deigning to accommodate them out of practicality and/or friendship. The way you show and describe it is amazing - he will not show up to a meeting early because seconds are precious, but makes a show of checking an Omnicom to give people time to process things. And your description of him using his super brain is wonderfully visual!

The Interplanetary Gang are a great group. Even before you explained it, I had already guessed that most of them didn't want to kill anyone - their motives are to enrich themselves, NOT to satisfy bloodlust and potentially get into bigger trouble! Would love to see them again.

Your Oracle is interesting and has the potential to be a major thorn in the Legion's side.

The whole bit with the Legionnaires floating through space was great. Jacques is so... inexperienced wink Loved the dynamics if the two couples, their little code words and understanding each other. Ayla was great, I love how you have her level-headed and mature, a great contrast to your grumpy Violet (who is mature enough to tone it down)


I tried to make sure that everybody I used got some characterization, and a moment to shine and show off a little bit, even when the Espionage Squad Plus team was getting ambushed and airlocked...

I kind of shorted Brin, who could perhaps have had more of a visible reaction to returning to where his life started, but, I'll try to do better by him later.

Quote
Gim's job, lol. Great conversation between Brin and Imra


That felt a bit awkwardly placed, I'd meant for it to happen sooner, but the action was fast, fast, fast, and it wouldn't make any sort of sense for Brin and Imra to be stopping to chit-chat when lightning bolts are flying and lightning-throwing rhinoceros-men are clomping down on them!

Quote
The super-hot one who can see the future!


That's probably my favorite line in the fic. I loved the idea that Nura would be utterly pleased that someone would label her that way.

Although I was also fond of Dawnstar telling Garth that she knew what light-years were, and Imra's last words to Mai Li. Note to self; give the dudes some snappy dialogue! My favoritism to the lady characters is showing again!

Quote
Great moments for everyone, and love your use of Dawnstar. Dreamy using her wits, Imra casually overpowering the weak psi-shielding, Garth leading Mekt away, Brin changing battle tactics quickly, and the insight about non-invulnerable Legionaires needing to be careful, all great

Finally, great exploration of the singleton stigma of Winath. Mekt's rage and Mai Li's fetishization of singelhood... your Lightning Brothers are interesting too and I hope we see them again. The Lightning Zombies, creepier than the Korbalian hybrids; but both are a testament to the twisted thinking of Mekt and Mai Li. Whew! so was her keeping her mentor alive (because she had to) and keeping her hated twin alive because she needed th ebody for her escape... brrr! that girl is scary!

Can't wait for more...


This first chapter, and the third chapter are the most fleshed out in my head, so this second chapter may take a little bit longer. Hopefully I can get my creative ducks in a row.

Glad you liked what's come so far, and thanks for the great feedback!

Posted By: Harbinger Re: The Legion of Lightning - 08/27/17 11:11 AM
Finally got the time to immerse myself in some fan-fic - hoorah! It's been a hectic week, so sorry for the delay in getting on with this Set. Anyway, here goes, my thoughts as I'm reading:

The Oracle obviously wants to protect its investment if its giving a warning.

Garths worry about the storm was cute, obviously as a farmboy at heart he'll e more aware of such things and tying it to Mekt's psychosis was a good catch. Garth and Imra's unspoken understanding of each other is always nice to read and garths disinterest as to it being telepathy or not shows a level of maturity he's rarely given, well done. Nice to read you're taking Zuun's stronger gravity into account, even with the everyday things like rain striking with more force and a fall being potentially fatal - that's the sort of thing I forget about so it's good to see. While Brin is okay in the gravity I wonder if Gim will suffer...

"In this rain? with this hair?" Ha, great line.

Garth and Imra scaring off the local predators was a nice little almost throw away section that neatly showed the hostile environment they were in but didn't take away from the plot. Go Gim! Bless him, he is a human target, isn't he? Still, the wall's down and the Legionnaires have access to the bunker so it's all go from here.

Bursting the tesseract and normalising gravity to Zunn standard was a nice, if unplanned, way to cut down the number of opponents. Though it's the hardcore villains that are left standing, hopefully the four Legionnaires will be up to the job. Dawnstar, of course, was fist into the fray... of course - and I really enjoy your take on Dawny, she's one of your best characters Set. And Brin darting around dealing with the hybrids was well done. It's easy to overlook how effective the combination of his speed and strength would be in a combat situation. Those Zombies are very disturbing though, really sick. That Mai isn't pretending to be crazy is she, she's truly deranged!

“How does it feel to know that you picked the wrong brother, mind-witch?” yup, she's crazy!

Brin tackling the zombies was inevitable though it was an unexpected twist that they would be fitted with reactive armour - nice touch Set, though ot as sweet as Brin clubbing them with a unconscious hybrid, that made me smile. And on the subject of smiling, Imra's response to Mai's gloating about her commercial grade psi-defences was a real treat. Imra is a bad ass at heart, I think, so it's always good to catch glimpses of that. And her casual conversation with Brin afterwards, with total confidence in Garth and Dawny was another tough that highlighted their maturity, just letting them get on with their job while sorting out the mess below. And perhaps my favourite conversation was where they acknowledged Gim's role as the onw who would always be taking it for the team so the rest of them could get closer into the action.

Lek's wanting to flee was totally believable, as you showed his views of being on that compound well - his initial reasons had been so corrupted by Mekt and Mai's craziness. Nura's apparent happiness at being recognised as 'the hot one' even when bedraggled was fun, as was her way of capturing the rogue Blood Brothers, smart and sassy as ever.

Your description of Garth and Mekt being like two aerialists tied to each other by constant streams of electrical energy is divine - I think that description captures the image perfectly. Dawny using sonic booms is a clever. has she ever been seen using that in canon, as it should be! Actually, I wrote sonic boobs initially, but that's probably better used in a Saucy Jones fanfic smile Ahem, anyway, her the creating an updraft to stop Mekt from going splat was also clever, well done.

And being deafened by the crashing thunder of the brother's fight gave the ending the right light touch after an epic fight scene.

Superb Set, simply superb! Really enjoyed your characterisation of every Legionnaire, the villains and even the minor players, and you write action very well too. Great stuff!

Now, where's part two?

More, more, more!
Posted By: Set Re: The Legion of Lightning - 08/27/17 12:29 PM
Originally Posted by Harbinger
Finally got the time to immerse myself in some fan-fic - hoorah! It's been a hectic week, so sorry for the delay in getting on with this Set. Anyway, here goes, my thoughts as I'm reading:


Hope the hectivity (is that a word? It is now!) of your week is done!

Quote
The Oracle obviously wants to protect its investment if its giving a warning.

Garths worry about the storm was cute, obviously as a farmboy at heart he'll e more aware of such things and tying it to Mekt's psychosis was a good catch. Garth and Imra's unspoken understanding of each other is always nice to read and garths disinterest as to it being telepathy or not shows a level of maturity he's rarely given, well done. Nice to read you're taking Zuun's stronger gravity into account, even with the everyday things like rain striking with more force and a fall being potentially fatal - that's the sort of thing I forget about so it's good to see. While Brin is okay in the gravity I wonder if Gim will suffer...


Yeah, the gravity was tricky. I had to use the tesseract space to make normal gravity in the compound (while keeping it undetectable from scans), and LSV flight rings for the 'names' to explain how they could function when it failed, and rewrite the bit where Mekt was falling, to account for it (since I'd forgotten), and have Dreamy trick one of the dudes with enhanced strength to carry the other unconscious villain, since she wouldn't be able to lift either of them, and I didn't want to leave one or both unconscious in the dangerous jungles...

Quote
"In this rain? with this hair?" Ha, great line.

Garth and Imra scaring off the local predators was a nice little almost throw away section that neatly showed the hostile environment they were in but didn't take away from the plot. Go Gim! Bless him, he is a human target, isn't he? Still, the wall's down and the Legionnaires have access to the bunker so it's all go from here.

Bursting the tesseract and normalising gravity to Zunn standard was a nice, if unplanned, way to cut down the number of opponents. Though it's the hardcore villains that are left standing, hopefully the four Legionnaires will be up to the job. Dawnstar, of course, was first into the fray... of course - and I really enjoy your take on Dawny, she's one of your best characters Set. And Brin darting around dealing with the hybrids was well done. It's easy to overlook how effective the combination of his speed and strength would be in a combat situation. Those Zombies are very disturbing though, really sick. That Mai isn't pretending to be crazy is she, she's truly deranged!


With no Mon-El or Ultra Boy on this team, Brin (and Gim) where really the 'heavy hitters,' when it came to physical power, and Brin's combination of speed and strength, as you say, is pretty awesome.

Quote
&#147;How does it feel to know that you picked the wrong brother, mind-witch?&#148; yup, she's crazy!

Brin tackling the zombies was inevitable though it was an unexpected twist that they would be fitted with reactive armour - nice touch Set, though ot as sweet as Brin clubbing them with a unconscious hybrid, that made me smile. And on the subject of smiling, Imra's response to Mai's gloating about her commercial grade psi-defences was a real treat. Imra is a bad ass at heart, I think, so it's always good to catch glimpses of that. And her casual conversation with Brin afterwards, with total confidence in Garth and Dawny was another tough that highlighted their maturity, just letting them get on with their job while sorting out the mess below. And perhaps my favourite conversation was where they acknowledged Gim's role as the onw who would always be taking it for the team so the rest of them could get closer into the action.

Lek's wanting to flee was totally believable, as you showed his views of being on that compound well - his initial reasons had been so corrupted by Mekt and Mai's craziness. Nura's apparent happiness at being recognised as 'the hot one' even when bedraggled was fun, as was her way of capturing the rogue Blood Brothers, smart and sassy as ever.


That was a scene that I smiled as I wrote. I love when Nura's all sassy, and yet right.

Quote
Your description of Garth and Mekt being like two aerialists tied to each other by constant streams of electrical energy is divine - I think that description captures the image perfectly. Dawny using sonic booms is a clever. has she ever been seen using that in canon, as it should be! Actually, I wrote sonic boobs initially, but that's probably better used in a Saucy Jones fanfic smile Ahem, anyway, her the creating an updraft to stop Mekt from going splat was also clever, well done.


I'm glad the 'aerialists' line worked. It was a last-minute addition, and I like the visual of them sort of rotating around each other in mid-air, connected by a constant stream of lightning.

Quote
And being deafened by the crashing thunder of the brother's fight gave the ending the right light touch after an epic fight scene.


Heh, deaf Dawnstar is the best Dawnstar. smile

Quote
Superb Set, simply superb! Really enjoyed your characterisation of every Legionnaire, the villains and even the minor players, and you write action very well too. Great stuff!
Now, where's part two?
More, more, more!


Thanks for the feedback!

Part two is coalescing in my brain, but I'll try to beat those unruly creative impulses into some sort of order and get things moving!
Posted By: Set Re: The Legion of Lightning - 09/13/17 10:48 AM
And on to chapter two, The Oracle at Delphi!



Posted By: Fat Cramer Re: The Legion of Lightning - 09/17/17 03:53 PM
A fine first chapter, with thoroughly enjoyable character bits. I like Gim's role being described as the one who takes the hits, the reality check of Vi finding somebody's ear yucky, Imra being so far above everyday psychic shielding.

Does Nura bluff about her visions? Here she bluffs with a gun and it made me wonder if she occasionally fakes it; given her accurate record, everyone would assume she's telling the truth.

That Brin didn't react to the lab on Zuun also struck me as realistic. He was in the heat of action, as you say, but he may also have come to terms with his past, to the point that the location doesn't trigger an overt response. I'd like to think he's been able to put it behind him as a bad memory.

Unusual to see Dawnstar and Garth combining powers. It works really well!

Now on to the Oracle....

P.S. edit: "Hectivity" is a wonderful word!
Posted By: Set Re: The Legion of Lightning - 09/17/17 05:16 PM
Originally Posted by Fat Cramer
A fine first chapter, with thoroughly enjoyable character bits. I like Gim's role being described as the one who takes the hits, the reality check of Vi finding somebody's ear yucky, Imra being so far above everyday psychic shielding.


Thanks! I try to work in as much character development as I can into the story organically, without coming across as an info-dump. I'm hugely blessed in that my target audience is already Legion fans, and I don't have to info-dump stuff like Zuun being Brin's 'homeworld,' or how all Titanians are telepaths, or that Garth and Mekt have a bad family relationship, but can just sort of charge into stuff and trust that my readers know the score already!

Quote
Does Nura bluff about her visions? Here she bluffs with a gun and it made me wonder if she occasionally fakes it; given her accurate record, everyone would assume she's telling the truth.


If she did it a lot, it wouldn't work when she tried it, so I'm thinking she uses this tactic sparingly, at best. (If she had a reputation as a bluffer, that would make it an unusable tactic against anyone who might have heard that reputation, obviously, so I definitely wouldn't want it to be a go-to tactic for her, but definitely wanted to foreshadow how her intelligence and wits are at least as important as her power-set, particularly when the upcoming threat may or may not be precognitive / a Naltorian!). I've been kind of doing the same with other characters, like Tinya and Jacques and Dawny, trying to showcase how their specific powers aren't all they contribute.

Quote
That Brin didn't react to the lab on Zuun also struck me as realistic. He was in the heat of action, as you say, but he may also have come to terms with his past, to the point that the location doesn't trigger an overt response. I'd like to think he's been able to put it behind him as a bad memory.


A good rationale. It reminds me again of his reaction when Darkseid exposed various Legionnaires to their 'worst fears' and Brin was kind of like 'huh?', seeming more confused than fearful.

Quote
Unusual to see Dawnstar and Garth combining powers. It works really well!


Yeah, those are two that don't get put together often. It's always Garth and Imra (or Garth and Ayla), and Dawny and Drake, so I wanted to mix things up a little.

Similarly, I've avoided putting Shady and Tinya together, since they tend to 'clique,' or Tinya and Jo, and I'm trying to deal with some newer interactions, as well as the familiar classics.

Thanks for the feedback!
© Legion World