Second Chances (a preboot LSH fanfic - 06/12/22 04:16 PM
Hey, all. Here's a fanfic I wrote recently. I hope you enjoy it.
I wrote this as a 22-page comic book script. It's a bit rough in places, and I welcome any feedback. To make it digestible, I'll post a few pages at a time. If you're not familiar with comic book scripts, here are some common abbreviations:
EXT: Exterior. The scene takes place out of doors.
INT: Interior. The scene takes place indoors.
OP: The speaking character is off-panel.
SFX: Special effect, such as the sound of an explosion
thot: thought balloon
CAP: caption
CUT TO: An abrupt transition to a different scene.
Everything else should be self-explanatory. If there are questions, feel free to post them.
PAGE ONE
Panel 1. Long, dark, metallic chasm. A lone figure climbs down a rope from an unseen opening at the top.
THIEF (thot) Just a little further . . .
Panel 2. From just above the figure, whom we’ll call the THIEF. He is covered head to toe in cybernetic armor—only his face is visible, though we can’t see it yet. Strapped to his back is a long, covered object. It could be a duffel bag, but we can see metal wires sticking out of openings in the wrapping.
THIEF (thot) It cost a ton of credits to get the access codes to this dead world . . .
and transport . . . and all the equipment.
THIEF (thot) But it will be worth it.
Panel 3. Having reached the end of the rope, he lets go and drops, arms wide . . .
THIEF (thot) That’s as far as the rope will go.
THIEF (thot) No turning back.
Panel 4. . . . and lands on a metal floor in a vast empty chamber.
SFX BAMMmmmmmm
PAGE TWO
Panel 1. Angle from behind the Thief as he sees two small drones approaching. They fly in a zigzag pattern, emitting laser-like probe lights, searching for their prey.
THIEF (thot) The echo of my landing alerted what passes for a security system.
Panel 2. In a quick motion, he pulls out a blaster from a side holster (let’s make it one of the Science Police hand blasters of this era) and blasts first one probe and then the other while protecting his “duffle bag” with his other hand.
THIEF (thot) But I’m prepared for that.
SFX (blaster) SKEW!
SFX (blaster) SKEW!
Panel 3. He dashes down a long corridor, toward an opening with brilliant orange light outside.
THIEF (thot) It won’t be long before more drones come . . .
THIEF (thot) . . . but I see my destination!
Panel 4. EXT. He reaches the opening, which appears to be the outside of the building. We at last see his face. He is middle-aged with a heavy grey beard and weary eyes. But he looks up in wonder.
THIEF (thot) My God! It’s magnificent.
PAGE THREE
Full-page spread. He stands on a ledge of a once ornate building, now dull and sun-bleached—and looks out into the city, which is dominated by huge, hulking robots—the same robots we saw back in Adventure Comics # 332. This is the WORLD OF DEAD ROBOTS, and these gigantic automatons have not moved in hundreds of years. They are both awe-inspiring and tragic, covered with rust against bone-like dead buildings. This image of death stands in contrast to the beautiful verdant hills in the background, the orange sky, and the dual sun system, all of which seem to be struggling in vain to bring life back to this dead world.
THIEF (thot) The World of Dead Robots.
THIEF (thot) The legends do not do it justice. Supposedly, the machines on this planet rebelled against their creators and drove them off. With no one left to repair them, the machines stopped functioning and died.
THIEF (thot) What kind of technology, what kind of secrets must this place have?
PAGE FOUR
Panel 1. A probe appears from around the side of the building and fires a ray at him. He ducks . . .
SFX FZZAK!
THIEF (thot) Quit dawdling, you old fool!
Panel 2. And leaps off the ledge while in the same motion firing his blaster and destroying the probe.
THIEF (thot) Must stay focused on the mission!
SFX SKEW!
Panel 3. He lands on the rubble-strewn street below in an awkward position. Trying to protect his duffle bag, he lands on his left leg and cries out in pain.
THIEF AAAGH!
Panel 4. No time for the pain, he hobble-runs through the giant legs of one of the dead robots.
THIEF (thot): Just my luck . . . to break my leg on this abandoned planet where there’s no one to help me.
THIEF (thot): Must stay focused . . . If I find what I’m looking for, the pain won’t matter!
PAGE FIVE
Panel 1. On the other side of the massive legs, he approaches a building marked in an alien script.
THIEF (thot) This is it! Just where the Khund scavenger said it would be!
Panel 2. He spreads a section of the wall with a large putty-like substance.
THIEF (thot) This ancient stuff was the best I could afford. It better work!
Panel 3. Taking refuge some distance away, he braces himself as the wall EXPLODES!
SFX: KA-BAAAMMMM
Panel 4. From inside the building. He climbs into a darkened room lit only by an ethereal sliver of light from somewhere off-panel.
NO DIALOGUE
Panel 5. Favoring him as he sees the object of his desire: an oval, mirror-like PORTAL! He rejoices.
THIEF (thot): It’s here! Just like the scavenger said! A TIME PORTAL!
Panel 6. Another angle. The Thief watches in silhouette as the Portal flashes out of existence.
THIEF (thot): It’s unstable. It’s been blinking in and out of existence for centuries!
But all I have to do is time it, learn its cycle . . .
Panel 7. His countenance has changed. Whereas before he seemed admirable if weary, now a mad expression comes over him, a twisted sneer of vengeance.
THIEF (thot): . . . then I can go right the wrongs of the past!
I wrote this as a 22-page comic book script. It's a bit rough in places, and I welcome any feedback. To make it digestible, I'll post a few pages at a time. If you're not familiar with comic book scripts, here are some common abbreviations:
EXT: Exterior. The scene takes place out of doors.
INT: Interior. The scene takes place indoors.
OP: The speaking character is off-panel.
SFX: Special effect, such as the sound of an explosion
thot: thought balloon
CAP: caption
CUT TO: An abrupt transition to a different scene.
Everything else should be self-explanatory. If there are questions, feel free to post them.
“Second Chances”
A Legion of Super-Heroes fanfic
By
Greg Gildersleeve
Legion characters and settings © DC Comics, Inc.
Story © 2022 Greg Gildersleeve
A Legion of Super-Heroes fanfic
By
Greg Gildersleeve
Legion characters and settings © DC Comics, Inc.
Story © 2022 Greg Gildersleeve
PAGE ONE
Panel 1. Long, dark, metallic chasm. A lone figure climbs down a rope from an unseen opening at the top.
THIEF (thot) Just a little further . . .
Panel 2. From just above the figure, whom we’ll call the THIEF. He is covered head to toe in cybernetic armor—only his face is visible, though we can’t see it yet. Strapped to his back is a long, covered object. It could be a duffel bag, but we can see metal wires sticking out of openings in the wrapping.
THIEF (thot) It cost a ton of credits to get the access codes to this dead world . . .
and transport . . . and all the equipment.
THIEF (thot) But it will be worth it.
Panel 3. Having reached the end of the rope, he lets go and drops, arms wide . . .
THIEF (thot) That’s as far as the rope will go.
THIEF (thot) No turning back.
Panel 4. . . . and lands on a metal floor in a vast empty chamber.
SFX BAMMmmmmmm
PAGE TWO
Panel 1. Angle from behind the Thief as he sees two small drones approaching. They fly in a zigzag pattern, emitting laser-like probe lights, searching for their prey.
THIEF (thot) The echo of my landing alerted what passes for a security system.
Panel 2. In a quick motion, he pulls out a blaster from a side holster (let’s make it one of the Science Police hand blasters of this era) and blasts first one probe and then the other while protecting his “duffle bag” with his other hand.
THIEF (thot) But I’m prepared for that.
SFX (blaster) SKEW!
SFX (blaster) SKEW!
Panel 3. He dashes down a long corridor, toward an opening with brilliant orange light outside.
THIEF (thot) It won’t be long before more drones come . . .
THIEF (thot) . . . but I see my destination!
Panel 4. EXT. He reaches the opening, which appears to be the outside of the building. We at last see his face. He is middle-aged with a heavy grey beard and weary eyes. But he looks up in wonder.
THIEF (thot) My God! It’s magnificent.
PAGE THREE
Full-page spread. He stands on a ledge of a once ornate building, now dull and sun-bleached—and looks out into the city, which is dominated by huge, hulking robots—the same robots we saw back in Adventure Comics # 332. This is the WORLD OF DEAD ROBOTS, and these gigantic automatons have not moved in hundreds of years. They are both awe-inspiring and tragic, covered with rust against bone-like dead buildings. This image of death stands in contrast to the beautiful verdant hills in the background, the orange sky, and the dual sun system, all of which seem to be struggling in vain to bring life back to this dead world.
THIEF (thot) The World of Dead Robots.
THIEF (thot) The legends do not do it justice. Supposedly, the machines on this planet rebelled against their creators and drove them off. With no one left to repair them, the machines stopped functioning and died.
THIEF (thot) What kind of technology, what kind of secrets must this place have?
PAGE FOUR
Panel 1. A probe appears from around the side of the building and fires a ray at him. He ducks . . .
SFX FZZAK!
THIEF (thot) Quit dawdling, you old fool!
Panel 2. And leaps off the ledge while in the same motion firing his blaster and destroying the probe.
THIEF (thot) Must stay focused on the mission!
SFX SKEW!
Panel 3. He lands on the rubble-strewn street below in an awkward position. Trying to protect his duffle bag, he lands on his left leg and cries out in pain.
THIEF AAAGH!
Panel 4. No time for the pain, he hobble-runs through the giant legs of one of the dead robots.
THIEF (thot): Just my luck . . . to break my leg on this abandoned planet where there’s no one to help me.
THIEF (thot): Must stay focused . . . If I find what I’m looking for, the pain won’t matter!
PAGE FIVE
Panel 1. On the other side of the massive legs, he approaches a building marked in an alien script.
THIEF (thot) This is it! Just where the Khund scavenger said it would be!
Panel 2. He spreads a section of the wall with a large putty-like substance.
THIEF (thot) This ancient stuff was the best I could afford. It better work!
Panel 3. Taking refuge some distance away, he braces himself as the wall EXPLODES!
SFX: KA-BAAAMMMM
Panel 4. From inside the building. He climbs into a darkened room lit only by an ethereal sliver of light from somewhere off-panel.
NO DIALOGUE
Panel 5. Favoring him as he sees the object of his desire: an oval, mirror-like PORTAL! He rejoices.
THIEF (thot): It’s here! Just like the scavenger said! A TIME PORTAL!
Panel 6. Another angle. The Thief watches in silhouette as the Portal flashes out of existence.
THIEF (thot): It’s unstable. It’s been blinking in and out of existence for centuries!
But all I have to do is time it, learn its cycle . . .
Panel 7. His countenance has changed. Whereas before he seemed admirable if weary, now a mad expression comes over him, a twisted sneer of vengeance.
THIEF (thot): . . . then I can go right the wrongs of the past!