I was playing a game with my 13-yr-old a few days ago. He did something unpleasant to me and I called him a coprolite. He understood it and thought it was funny. It now seems to be the family insult.
Speaking of poop, did you know wombat poop is cubical? I have no idea how they manage this. Their excrement looks like little brown dice with rounded corners.
I guess if wombats gamble, they're really shooting craps, huh?
"Yeah, Laxative Sam! The roughest, toughest, poopiest, smelliest, gol-durn shittiest hombre that ever battled constipation. With one flush, I flood the whole nation!"
"Yeah, Laxative Sam! The roughest, toughest, poopiest, smelliest, gol-durn shittiest hombre that ever battled constipation. With one flush, I flood the whole nation!"
"Eh...what's up, Doc? Say, have you ever thought of goin' into bizness manufacturin' fertilizer? I can be yer partner. I'll supply the Mexican food, and you'll pump out the fertilizer."
"Say, fer a long-eared varmint, yer okay. It's a deal. Let's shake on it."
(Much later, Sam is all skin and bones from pushin' it to the limit, while Bugs is rolling in money.)
thoth: cue a thread... Fickles:...where we all... thoth:..complete each other's sentences... Fickles: ..even though we're little talking heads... Quis: ...in separate rooms!
thoth: cue a thread... Fickles:...where we all... thoth:..complete each other's sentences... Fickles: ..even though we're little talking heads... Quis: ...in separate rooms!
Ha ha ha ha!!
So quintessentially Bendis!
Then, of course, there's the pacing that's so glacial it makes Jonathan Hickman read like Alan Grant.
Lately, I have developed a great appreciation for rap music...
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
I knew I wouldn't be able to keep a straight face.
Anyhow, here's the official "Litter Box Rap," inspired by Emma Stone's (painfully bad) rapping at the end of "The House Bunny."
Now, when I pee and poop and fart It always makes you wanna barf I can't help that it smells so bad I've still got issues with my dad I need to drop another bomb There's also problems with my mom
Unlike Journey, I actually like Genesis. Quite a bit, in fact.
But even good bands come up with the odd stinker.
"Pooper late, pooper late Pooper late, pooper late Pooper late, oh, I'm sorry but there's nothing in the can Pooper late, oh, I'm sorry, but rest easy, no poop is good poop
Oh, it's easy to crap like clockwork Tick tock watching the turd spiral down Any change would take too long So zip your pants
Ooh, it's too easy to live in a cold sweat Just sitting dropping feces below You can wipe your ass Kill the pain But the odor won't go, no, no
Putting this one inside a spoiler box with a Not-Safe-For-Kids / Not-Safe-For-Work warning. Even I find it rather disturbing, and I'm the one who thought it up!
It's a living thing What a terrible thing to poo It's a vicious thing They won't hold it in any zoo
Today the Pooper Scooper sh!tes are gonna find me Steaming in the sun (Poo-p-er Scoo-p-er) Making stomachs turn (Poo-p-er Scoo-p-er) Looking like a number one
With apologies to Abba, as I volunteered for dog walking this weekend. Hopefully it won't come to actually doing it.
ICYMI on the Kill This Thread thread, a tribute to bidets........
She had a haaand held bidet The kind you find in a home improvement store She had a haaand held bidet If you squirt your ass, it is clean once more She had a haaand held bidet I think I loooooove her!
Wow, I have been remiss. My last song parody was almost a year ago. Well, I've got a new one and it's a doo doo doozy.
To the tune of the Four Seasons "Working My Way Back to You"
I keep pooping my way back to you, babe With a burning ass on fire I'm pooping my way back to you, babe And those skid marks ain't from tires I defecate awaaaaaaay...
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