...my big master plan to take over Gerber 7 involved stealing all the 3oz. bottles from the baby supply stores.

....when I tired to enslave the people of Freedom 12. They defeated me by ignoring me. That hurts! I had a brilliant plan too. I was going to take over their communications and play the same song over and over until they acquiesced and surrendered to my evil plans. The song was...



They actually made that song their anthem! Horrible creatures.

I forgot to bring the coffee cake when it was my turn.

I asked Superman for an autograph

They found out that Batman is my third cousin twice removed.

When I went to change into my costume in the locker room I forgot that I had my Aquaman Underoos on.

I didn't know what a clatch was.

I kept taking funny pictures of the other villains

My meme of Lex Luther went viral as a fussy baby needing his diaper changed.

I killed everyone that posted video's of cats playing an being cute. And while that might be considered evil by some folks, far tooo many others thought it a public service.

I told the leader my favorite Transformer is Starscream.

...I couldn't afford a hollowed out volcano, so I bought an old school bus and parked it down by the swamp.

... beaten again by my arch enemies... sugar and spike.

...I bragged about still hanging out on MySpace.

... my clatch could just buy sleek, mass produced, death rays online from China, rather than put up with my cobbled-together-from-household-utensils death rays.

... I recycle

... they found out I was a politician and even super villains have standards.

...Lex finally started to grow his hair back, but I can't stand that ahole and snuck some nair into his shampoo. The hissy fit he threw pissed everyone off.

...I set up Lex on a blind date with Egghead.

It went so swimmingly they retired from the villain biz and started a BB&B* together.

(*Bald Bed & Breakfast)

... accidentally mentioned Dr Doom's crush on Ferro Lad at a clatch meeting of space.

... I was stuck trying to get this death trap right

...I called a locksmith to help break into the vault.

...I kyped Mrs. rickshaw1's secret PB&J cookie recipe and emailed it to everyone.

... my outfit didn't match the team's color scheme

... they said that they posted the raid details on their secret forum, but all I could see was an error message.

... I accidentally made our message board buggy

... It turns out that the team wanted a laser turreted tank for a team vehicle and not a buggy.

I told Myg, "Bake our mess of bread before it gets muggy" but my diction's really bad and he misunderstood my request.

... they were insistent that a sixth person couldn't join the Fatal Five.

...I ate all the Frusen Glädjé.

... I undercooked the chicken Sunday night and our Monday plans got foiled

... I kept fowling everything up. - Turkey Teen

... I won the Lotto

... I thought it would increase our profile to have crossover events with cartoon characters. The rest of the Earnest League of Decimation didn't agree.

... I voted Democrat

... I didn't put enough starch in my jodhpurs.

... my hero traps weren't elaborate enough, and I didn't give the heroes a chance to escape

... apparently, even supervillains are expected to bathe.

... so I told my villainous team mates that I could provide them with an HQ that the heroes could never find. But I forgot they'd explode going across to the Anti Matter Universe - Auntie Monitor.

... posted our first meeting on my Facebook forgetting that I'm friends with the JLA on my Facebook

....I said on-camera that I really do prefer potatoes to stuffing.

... the new candidate accepted the wardrobe "suggestions" and I had too much self-respect for that

...my codename, "Noxious Nixon" was deemed to controversial.

... apparently quick wit and a sharp tongue remain underappreciated by big bruiser types

I thought a team with a Fiddler and a Gambler would accept me. But it looks like The Drinker will be looking elsewhere >hic<

I misread the components of my gear. It wasn't Vibranium. Vibratorum was just to unnerving.

... while they were thrilled at the idea of an atomic plan, they were less so when they found out it was to give atomic wedgies.

...I brought veggie-patties and rice-milk frozen dessert to the Supervillain Space Cookout.

... no one told me that Killer Frost's victims were supposed to be used for hostages, not to be broken up into handy ice lollies.

...Two-Face saw me reading my Janus Funds prospectus in the lunchroom and took it as a personal slight.

... I said that Luthor should stop wigging out over Superman which was a poor choice of words.

... I didn't believe Solomon Grundy was born on a Monday. I asked for a birth certificate...

Let the other guys be Dark Circle clones. I want to dance and sing!

... apparently I can only inspire great fear in small, tiny insects. #YellowLanternFail

... my new Subjective Morality Switch Ray worked. Turning my villainous friends into paragons of virtue who promptly arrested me.

... they found my My Little Pony collection

... my zombie army turned out to be cabbage patch kids.

...my codename ..."Super Massive Black Hole" was considered...controversial. Hey, before it was just "Black Hole".

... I impersonated Mr Nobody. An Impressionist in Dada.

... apparently even super villains dislike a mime

...found out I was volunteering at both the local animal shelter and elderly nursing home by bringing therapy animals to the residents on my days off.

... kept apologizing for doing nasty things

... got caught wearing water wings - Ocean Master

... I petted the little puppy... but he was soooo cute...

...Look, you tell a super villain to NOT push the self destruct button that says "Planet Killer", I'm a BAD GUY, of course I'm gonna do it. So whut if the Super Villain Clatch of Space blew up?

I'm not sure why they wanted me to join - Solo, the hermitic merc.

The thought my french spelling of my Supervillian name was still bad.... Cou Rouge!

Went to bank to a deposit instead of robbing it like I was told to.

Being from the Ambush Bug Revenge Squad really limited my villain career options.

Eventually the other super-villains realized that the reason the super-heroes kept showing up to foil our schemes was that I'd been sending them clues the whole time... - the Riddler

I called them all sissies for using the word "clatch"

Oh. they've only themselves to blame - The Betrayer

I wore a red version of Cosmic Boy's classic black only costume. They said it was not revealing enough.

I couldn't remember if my version was supposed to be evil or not. - Terra

My Projecting Narcolepsy power was effective, but not dynamic enough on videos or the six o'clock news.



Everything's all about appearances these days.

My evil laugh was more of a giggle...

I kept apologizing to the people I robbed. I even brought one to the clatch to say sorry.

All they had left in the costume shop was a chicken suit.

They found out I wasn't the reverse flash. I was just Barry Allen who put his costume on the wrong way one day.

My codename was Legume Lad. Things heated up when I saw Ignatia across a crowded Supervillain Rant Party!

On Karaoke night, I did the Weird Al versions of all the songs.

...my name was Log Lad. They said it was too disgusting.

Everyone alive on Earth will die in 130 years! All of them!

What? Yes, a lot will be of old age and they'll have descendants, but you'll get what you asked for!

Look, I didn't know Shite Mite was there when I had to go. It was an emergency, aw'right?!

I don't just call myself The Puritan when I'm dealing with the heroes. Now, let's have a look at this big list of things you're all now prohibited from doing.

Captain Cold gave me the shivers, Mirror Master said I was a bad reflection, and Professor Zoom said I had no future.

I kept criticizing the others' puns.

Everyone knows puns are so lasy century. Limericks and haikus are the way to go.

I absolutely refused to modernize.

"Limericks and puns, say you?" said I, only to realize that "Cei-U" summons the Thunderbolt.

Late Guy here. Look, they shouldn't have left me in charge of dismantling the timer if the ransom was paid. LOOK AT MY NAME, for Beezelbub's sake.

When they complained about me wrestling them to the ground all the time, I realised I hadn't joined the Super Villain Clutch of Space after all.

I had no concept of personal space.

Which was fine with most guys, except for Exploding Elmer...

Because I hacked SalsaMan's account and flooded his server with lolcat vids. Completely ruined his "take over the world and rule evilly!" plan, I know. Yeah, I know Salsaman is a badguy! What, you thought I was only evil to the good guys? The guy's a jerk. Mexican night and do you think he would share is salsa Supreme with nacho's with anyone? Nope. Don't bring that weak sauce into my house and not share. Killed the party flat.


nooooonononononooooooooooooooooo

Poison Ivy got pissed when she asked me to water her precious plants while in Arkum. I'm Catcus Man lady. I don't need much water. Just a sip once a month. Has she ever heard of succulents? Her stupid plants need water that much? Eeeeeeexxxxxccccccuuuuuuusssssseeeeeeee Me!

Listen, I was under pressure. A defeat by the JLA, another by the Titans and Infinity Inc. No therapy, and it was like I got released at the end of every month. "The new Doctor Light" they were saying. Whispering all...the...time. Then my robbery got interrupted by Little Boy Blue and the Blue Boys. I wasn't going down like Light. But now the kids' faces are on milk cartons, I'm suddenly too evil. "Messing with the status quo" said the Injustice League. Of, course none of it's their fault. Oh No. People have got to take a long look at themselves and the society they bring about. That's all I'm saying. - Professor Flashbulb.

I wouldn't take candy from a baby.

I told them that I had an army of 30 at my disposal. But they were less pleased when they found out that the "Baby-Face" in my name is related to the crèche I attend. - Baby Face Kid, two and a half.

Said I'd punch out anyone who called me Muffin-Top Maid. And did.

Tyr was mean to me and my name, so I left in the huff - Carburettor Cal

When I posted the video of Luthor teaching Solomon Grundy to Cha Cha, they said I had belittled the "grand dignity" of the team as a whole.

Maybe it wasn't wise for me to come in full tilt at the last meeting of the Secret Society of Super Villains. But that's who I am. I really wasn't trying to plow down Scarecrow. Sorry, Tiller Man

I threw a pimento cheese sandwich in Lazon's face and he cried like a baby.

I hooked Titania up with Mister Miracle's sidekick, Oberon, and we all got busted by the JLI.

I ripped the seat of my pants while playing super-villain Twister.

I broke up with the super villain, Twister. She had her friends on the group, and I had mine. It just descended into a real mess. A few of us just left to form our own group. Don't believe the stories that they kicked us out.

I spent so much time thinking of witty puns in battle, that I couldn't beat up the heroes or steal the loot.

They said that my teleportation rings were just a fad - Dr. Hula Hoop

I brought Duela Dent to a party as my date. Awkward.

^ especially when she began calling all the male villains "Daddy".

I claimed to be the son of a famous villain who hadn't been seen in a couple of decades, and skated in as a 'legacy.'

Then he came out of retirement and told everyone he'd never heard of me... Awkward.

I kept loudly saying "awkward" every time someone else did something.

As a non human berserker who has pledged to kill all of mankind, they should have known I would turn on them. - Orc-ward.

I figured as non-adopted child for whom he was legally responsible for of The Penquin, I'd skate in, but....no. Awck-ward!

I used to be a hero, but with the death of my partner I switched sides. But the villains don't trust me either. - Hawk-ward

I said something in a meeting about "warding off" a hero and everyone leaped to a really filthy misinterpretation of what I meant.

(Oh, and I forgot Thanos' birthday. Ex-cuuuuse me for still thinking that FB is even more evil than he is.)

They found every release of Gorillas in the Mist in my room. - Grodd

I kept getting the Six Infinity Gems confused with the Seven Stones of Alactos and the Nine Lantern Rings. (Or is it ten?)

I stole an accordion from a blind monkey

I was the model used for all DCs cover Gorillas. It turns out that jealousy motivates evil groups more than villainy.

...I stopped to smell the roses...and burned them up with acid breath. Poison Ivy complained, and since she always provided the fruit platters.....

...I slacked off as Treasurer and didn't bother to keep the utilities up to date.

If only we'd recruited Batman we could've used his utility belt.

... I was creating an uncomfortable atmosphere for the other villains. I mean, all I was doing was telling them how the Spectre would punish them horribly for their crimes, in excruciating detail...

… the editorial direction had faded enough that I ended up being one of those villains who ends up on a hero team in an "edgy alliance." I'm told it's part of a plotline where there's a traitor in the team. I'll apparently be the focus of some suspicion, even though I'm a level playing crook. I just want away from the team's resident psycho-with-a-weapon. Now, he's scary.

... they said I didnt have enough street cred', because even Amanda Waller didn't think I was dangerous enough a villain to be included in Salvation Run...

… shooting the hero in the head in issue #1 meant that none of the other villains were going to get paid to appear in any upcoming issues.

...I snore.

... I kept canceling on the other villains at the last minute. Like, 5 seconds after their superhero battles started...

… I Giffened their uniforms with lots of little pockets and they got beaten before they could find their power rocks/ rings/ wands/ musical instruments.

... I made everyone pay for their own Wi-Fi. Even evil has standards...

...i put the lotion on the skin...it made Blok nice and pretty and pink...he got shot. Saaah reee!

... ^^ isn't that a successful villainous act? Unless Blok is a villain in this reality...

<<<Well, crap. That was supposed to be in the other thread.>>>>>

A lot of the civilians turned out to be more villainous than we were. They didn't even bother with names like Minister Man or Hedge Fund Henry.

Or Populist Pete, or Picnic Patty.

...they found out I used to be a government purchasing agent, I got a lot of "deals". Some shit even the bad guys won't put up with.

...I like dogs. Have several. But they're chiweenies. Not particularly evil.

... I kept wanting to have fair fights.

…"Tremble at the Terror of the Tiffin Tyrant!" wasn't causing our hero opponents much concern.

^saying it with a lisp didn't help, either

...I like lima beans and burritos. Well, be that way why don'tcha.

I was constantly tutting the other villains about their unhealthy diets. Beer and fried chicken, yeesh. No wonder so many of them are moving away from spandex...

With so many supercharacters around these days, my minions' demands for healthcare and annual leave meant I couldn't afford to organise a world takeover.

I was posting too many pics of me doing nice things. But... but.. those are the ones that get the most likes on Instagram!

In a rare moment of weakness, I passed by a candy shop and an infant in a stroller was just coming out with his mother. I did NOT steal his lollypop.

It turned out that Venus was uninhabitable. My gigs as Grolxx! The Terror of Venus! declined as the others felt a bit embarrassed about their lack of scientific knowledge.

I was respectful of my dates. Like, you know, a normal human being.

...Giganti-Gal and I destroyed the secret HQ with our...ummmm...romance.

...my Xmas present to the club was tickets to see the Mister Rogers bio.

I got them tickets to Cats. Apparently that was "too evil, even for them".

Everything's a competition with you, EDE.

Oh gosh. I still have PTSD from the only time I watched Cats...

...I let my genetically altered lynx use the Emerald Eye for a cat toy.

... I kept crying whenever someone said something mean... which was all the time...

...I told Jim Lee and Dan DiDio to kiss my ___.

... I kept taking selfies and posting them on social media... how was I to know that the walls and decorations gave really big clues to our location???

Redid the Great Hall in Eggshell paint and tiny pink rosebud-patterned wallpaper.

(OK, I guess I DID have the expulsion coming. Sorry.)

You should see how I decorate MY humble abode!

That was more my former roommate's style than mine, A.H.

The first thing I did when I bought my own house was get the bathroom painted purple. And the kitchen we re-did in '18 is yellow and blue.

I said I thought Marie Osmond was a smoking hottie with a little age and weight. They said it was inappropriate...I was supposed to like strippers and evil scientists.

They got sick of all the cacti injuries, despite them being vital for the ambience of any room. - Tumbleweed Kid.

... too much perfume.

My costume was torn so I borrowed my daughter's Rainbow Brite Halloween costume for the night heist. I also forgot to remove the reflection tape too.

chili and burritos after a night of Silverale drinking at the Klordny festival. Even computo got sick over it.

Slept with everyone, making everyone jealous. Who knew super-villains could be so petty?

Being a villain from the Golden Age, sometimes you just want a night in with a good book and some cocoa, rather than another cold night at the mountaintop laser cannon of doom.

I made everyone dress up as another villain for Halloween, so we could have fun trick-or-treating... who knew we would stumble into the real Justice League, in their real costumes, and get tackled by heroes who were not our normal enemies......

Didn't sleep with anyone. Sorry but you have that whole Hall Of Toys PLUS the internet to entertain yourselves with and I've got collages to make.

Didn't sleep. At all. Kept everyone else awake and increasingly irritable, until that one night it all went sideways... - Caffeine Lad

I stole everything in the Hall of Toys...

... and I broke the Internet.

...I racked up too many parking fines.

... I never cleaned up after myself when using the microwave, and caused a pile of sludge to mutate into Chemo.

You would think that would be a GOOD thing for the Secret Society... but then he dissolved the first hundred or so members... HR was so pissed.

...gol'durnit, Baby Go Boom was so cute I tucked her in for the night and they said it was too sweet. Well, then she blew up the meeting hall and...well, they blamed me. Said she worked better bitter and without sleep. How was I to know?

my assistants were flying monkey pyrokinetics.

? we had to disband the group due to social distancing regulations.

... and we couldn't meet up due to all the countries closing their borders

I almost had the others convinced that we could ignore the above regulations and restrictions because, you know, we're super-villains. But then I coughed and it was all over.

... we were fined for violating social distancing measures by gathering in our clatch, which wiped out our whole budget!

...as Treasurer, I refused to waive everyone's monthly credit card fees to help them weather the current crisis.

Evil knows no season, you ninnies. Also you'll be hearing from my lawyers.

... I gave up some of my salary to help the others! Yeesh! the one time I do a selfless act..

... I gave up some of my celery to help others! How was I to know AVM Man was in a fully vegetable state?

... I gave up my cherries to help others! Only, it turns out, the cherries were bad... and we didn't have any toilet paper left...

I got kicked out for making an off-color joke about *some people* having no cherries to give...

Haha! Set fell into my trap!

... five minutes later...

I got kicked out for plotting to get other villains kicked out...

I was a random victim of Kick 'em out Kid, as he imposed ridiculous rules around villainy.

I wore something in one of the non-primary colors. Apparently it's big seven rainbow colors or bust, so my latest taupe and teal creation was out! -Fashionista Lad.

I didn't put the dumbbells back on the rack after my work out... yeesh, with all the telekinetics and super-strong baddies here, you would think that would not be an issue!

? I could care less about having a figure that fits into a costume. It's the villainy that counts! Not the image!

... I decided to go costume-less... and realized not everyone appreciated seeing me naked... even if I did have a nice super-villainy body...

I kept singing "A spoon full of sugar" while sneaking kisses from Poison Ivy.

Confused the others with my "The Subjectivity of Good and Evil" presentation on our Mad Plan Monday meeting.

I genuinely thought giant space whale poop would be U Boy's kryptonite. It was not. On the other hand, my space casaba melons were HUGE!

My Hate-Dials got jammed.

My playlist contained too many uplifting songs...

I killed everything important in the protagonist's life. That's what post Dark Knight Returns villains do. Then they told me I was part of an Archie book...

I guess it wasn't Afterlife with Archie, or the Archie/Predator crossover...

I kept referring to Elseworlds / Alternate realities and telling everyone else about their gruesome deaths. Turns out most Super-Villains don't want to die horribly...

I told the other villains that I was both reincarnated Egyptian royalty *and* an alien space cop. They laughed me out of the room! *choke* (sobs!)

I had blimp powers, but only on one part of my body. Scarlet Screamer hated having to ride on it.

I kept leaving clues for the heroes

I guess Self Destructo wasn't a good fit for a villain team.

... I didn't practice social distancing and ended up infecting everyone

... they irritated me, so I put rogaine in Lexluthier the 17th's scalp massage, and nair in Gorilla Gruud's shampoo.

... I baked cookies that looked like everyone... but they were caricature cookies, so...

...they found out that I actually paid all those parking tickets instead of just vaporizing a judge or two, like a proper villain would.

... I kept serving guests the GOOD coffee.

...I got caught moonlighting at the soup kitchen again.

(What?! I could declare the volunteer time on my income tax! Is that so wrong?!)

... I failed seventy two points on the Evil Overlords list. They said I was the worst villain they'd ever seen! (choke!)

... I enjoyed the list so much I shared it on my public account, instead of quietly ensuring I followed every point on it

...I refused to help meddle with the election results because I was busy binge-watching old Film Noir on YouTube, looking for pointers.

... I adhered carefully to all COVID restrictions AND preached to everyone to do the same. "You don't want your evil old Granny Goodness to get sick and be unable to torture innocent youngsters, would you? She can't do that gasping for breath!"

...Brought Love Story to Scary Movie Night, pronouncing it even creepier and more gross than anything in Stephanie Meyer's oeuvre.

... for playing Disney animated movie songs over and over and over and over AND singing along all night

...Poison Ivy and I stayed in drinking hot chocolate and riffing on old copies of Veggie Tales and missed the big bank heist.

? I was supposed to infiltrate the office ahead of the robbery. But I liked the hours, and the people and started working there part time.

... I catfished the other villains on Tinder, got them all in one room, and asked them for a unicorn-themed slumber party.

...I gave the Kirby estate ALL that art back, no questions asked.

... I was fat-shaming some of the other villains. Like the Penguin. Who knew he could move so fast under all that bulk...

... I started marking out important dates for 2021... but did it on Calendar Man.

They said my new look, based on the 1990s Hot Dog On A Stick uniform, wasn't in keeping with the proper image of modern-day villainy. (Even if you can fit a whole change of clothes and several quality weapons inside the hat.)

...I always cry during the finale of E.T.

... I kept letting the superhero team members get away because they saved my life once!

...I spilled the beans about Captain Cold and Martha Stewart.

... it became just too easy to make my money on bogus covid related government contracts.

... I kept coughing and sneezing on the other villains. - Infectious Lad

While the others were recovering, I foolishly said that I had a germ of a fiendish idea forming, and got kicked out just after Infectious Lad.

I organized dinner parties but made everyone bring their own food AND pay a hospitality fee for my hosting.

When I told everyone to call me The Host, they thought I was to be the vessel of an interdimensional, tentacled horror. But I mainly MC company awards ceremonies. Horrific in their own way, but...

... and I didn't give them free gift baskets...

...they found out my "poison gas" gun was just filled with Axe body spray and lined with a dirty gym sock. Hey, it worked, didn't it? Sorry if it wasn't science-y enough for all you over-educated rich snobs!

... I kept challenging them to examine their biases, and gave out pamphlets on respectful terminology (we should stop using Kid code names! it's demeaning!)

... I programmed them to do so. Now I will have a reason to not be present at their HQ, when the omni bomb goes off! I'll show them villainous!

... I put habanero hot sauce on all the snacks. Bah! I thought these were big tough villains. But all of them went crying for water!

? we got into a big fight about which villains could pass through walls and which couldn't. I'm not even allowed to help clear the debris from the smoking ruin of our HQ.

... told everyone, unironically, that Bizarro was the smartest one of all

...I bought everyone Bedazzler kits for their birthdays.

Super-Villains are such hopeless squares.

... It was my turn to buy supplies for the Evil Lair (TM) and I bought the cheap one-ply toilet paper. Who knew that world-conquering megalomaniacs had such sensitive tushies?

...I left off the mayo.

I raided the honor-based snack box in the back room but didn't pay, because I have no honor.

I tried conning the other villains out of their money!

I mean... what did they expect from teaming up with Ponzi King?

I paid my membership in pennies.

I stole all the pennies worldwide and hid them in the clatch!

I worked all day to fix everyone a nice penne pasta dinner from scratch, only to end up dumping the whole thing on the Taskmaster because his henchmen kept making smutty jokes about it and he wouldn't stop encouraging them. Sorry not sorry I don't respect incompetent Management. Never have.

I dated way too many of my fellow villains at the same time... - Multiplex

...balked at the cost of buying dinner and flowers for all the villains I was dating.

... kept talking about my heroic super-exes during the date!

...brought all my heroic super-exes along on the date.

...kittens. I just love kittens. Especially with a white wine reduction.

... I would not pay my super villain clatch dues

...I put Rogaine in Lex's body wash. Hair grew everywhere BUT his head. Bwaaaahahahahahah.

… and then I switched the stuff when he tried to use it in his head! Bwahahahaha

I gave Zanax to Scarecrow secretly. Started giving people visions of puppies and ducklings.

I kept multi-tasking during the briefings, and got all the security processes wrong... which led to the Justice League raiding the clatch. Oops

I'm just lazy. Joined for the free bagels in the cafeteria and use of the showers.

Kept getting clatch confused with clutch, and, contrary to scurrilous gossip, I don't drive stick.

...they said I wasn't half bad. So I didn't mean their 74% rule at less than 50%.

... I kept rearranging all the seats. Captain Cold burned his bottom sitting in the seat meant for Brimstone...

Gas

... I didn't put the dishes in the dishwasher

yeahhhhhhh, soooooo, turns out, creating my own spotlight symbol for My villain code, Ratman....not such a good idea.

I got drunk during the party and fell onto the table with all the alcohol

- Heavyset Hal

of one molecule. JUST ONE! And suddenly, the gas makes everyone it touches into superheros. ONE MOLECULE! Grodd is still cussin' about it.

They were just too jealous about the success of my villainy over on Earth-336.

… I forgot to water Poison Ivy’s plants, and now I’m banned for life

I forgot to install exclusion coding on the pigeons I gave cybernetic targeting systems to. Spacekitten was piiiiiissssseed.

... I tripped and crashed into the liquor cabinet...

I brought gluten-free bagels and vegan lox to the meeting. Apparently that wasn't villain-y enough? Bah. The 'lox' was made out of Captain Carrot, seemed pretty villain-y to me...

Painted everything in rainbow polka dots

"Worse of all, that's my super-power!" - Polka Dot Man

There was an audible sigh in the theater, when poor Polka Dot Man met his fate in that Suicide Squad movie

I just don't know what magic Gunn has going on that he can make me care about schmoes like Rocket Racoon and Polka Dot Man!

(He's not the only one. Somehow the Harley Quinn cartoon made me love Kite-Man! Maybe (GASP!), I just have really questionable taste? (*choke!*))

Movie Polka Dat Man was a nice guy who got a lot of abuse in his life, and movie Rocket is just lovably hilarious!

Lazon and I were missing when they needed us for a critical mission. I had hired him out for hair removal services...we didn't get the message till it was to late and the Legion was there.

I was making Tiktok videos showing the location of our super secret clatch...

I just wanted to heat my turkey sandwich. Tharok's thermo-coupling stellar exciter was nearby.... look, the fire was accidental, okay. Sheesh.

I replaced the hand gel with lubricant

i kept calling her the Verdant Vicountesss.

I put laxatives in the coffee

...and gave it to Gas Girl....which doesn't sound bad til you realize she was captive in the meeting room at the time. When Concrete Organs Man throws chunks, it's bad.

I misunderstood and made Marconi and cheese. They said even they wouldn't stoop to cannibalism.

King Shark was all for it, tho

...I kept sending trench coats to reverse flasher.

... I never flushed the toilet. turns out super villains are like realy picky about hygiene

... I didn't kneel before Zod.

… I swapped the salt and the sugar as a prank