1. Despite financial trouble, refuse to sell invisible corporate jet.
2. Contact Architectural Digest to do cover article on old Security Office.
3. Inertron plated toilets
4. Still partying like it's 2999.
8. Can no longer count correctly.
5. Throw their underwear out after one use
6. Look forward to the next Keanu Reeves movie.
7. Keep meaning to send a Christmas card to Reality... but it's been four years now and it would just be a bit awkward.
9. Reality hasn't even sent a postcard to US!
10. Encourage Reality to stop lurking and start posting.
11. Remain unaware that Stealth is an alt-ID of Reality.
12. I drink real tea with breakfast.
Get it?
Real(i)tea?
Get it?
13. Jeepers! Everyone's losing touch with Realty now that housing bubble has collapsed!
14. When they realize they've also lost smell with reality too!
15. When they sit around waiting for Reality to call.
16. The desire of some of their number to remain blissfully ignorant about ocelots.
17. Begin worshiping molybdenum.
18. Looks for Reality on Facebook.
19. They've lost the true meaning of
Repeal Day (December 5th)
20. AFRAID IT MEANT REPEAL OF ALL THINGS THAT HAPPENED ON DECEMBER 5TH LIKE MY PARENTS MARRIAGE AND THEREFORE MY EXISTENCE AND ...!!!!!!!
Ohh, crap Quis, don't do that to me!
21. Space cruiser still has Kerry/Edwards sticker on the starboard nacelle.
22. Expect DC "continuity" to make complete sense.
23. Has the surreal notion that LMB members ever had touch with reality in the first place.
24. EDE and Cobie make FC choose between the two of them:
![[Linked Image]](http://www.legionworld.net/upload/00000235/EDECobiechoose.jpg)
25. EDE and FC make Cobie choose between the two of them.
26. Spends entire Unemployment check on one issue of "three worlds."
Originally posted by Kent Shakespeare:
25. EDE and FC make Cobie choose between the two of them.
Those who know me realize that I DEMAND THEM BOTH
27. The fact that this wasn't 101 reasons.
28. Uses random LMB people as references on job apps. Gives best confused look when employers ask, "Can you list anyone who'd actually provide us with a phone number ?"
29. Totally ignore the numeric limitations of "27 Signs that LMB Members Have Lost Touch with Reality."
30. Obey voices in head that say "he means '27 signs per person... Trust us...'"
31. Get into debate with mods over whether this thread should be locked or moved to Spaceopoly.
32. Get into debate with the voices in my head over whether this thread should be locked or moved to Spaceopoly.
33. Write to United Planets to petition to keep thread open, but don't use sufficient postage.
34. Asks He Who Wanders "What thread?"
36. Prepares cruiser for vacation to Second Life.
37. Sniggers at suggestive use of the word "cruiser."
38. EVERYTHING seems to have a suggestive meaning to one person or another.
39. LMB members fail to find a suggestive meaning in any post.
40. Seek approval of Comics Code Authority for this thread.
41. Disapproves of any authority not founded by Jenny Sparks.
42. Thinks all people name Jenny should have phone number 867-5309.
43. Is such a geek, resents that post #42 had nothing to do with Douglas Adams.
44. Resents only being a camp-follower of the original resentful commenter.
45. Frequently uses Wikipedia as the be-all, end-all source for truth in the universe.
46. Taking summer off work in favor of being Legion World Goodwill Ambassador and Facebook junkie.
49. Blueland, Indigoland and Mauveland
50. Sewing Legion costumes for everyone's pets.
51. Pics of Hyvvie in a Cosmic Bustier and Pickles in a Saturn Bikini.
52. Cobie posts from a bar bathroom.
Originally posted by cleome:
50. Sewing Legion costumes for everyone's pets.
Although, a Projectra costume for your pet snake is perfectly fine.
and a Blok costume for your pet rock.
53. Revives a long dead thread.
54. Considered calling into work to up my post count
56. Names a wooden bird Tizzles and talks to it while making dinner every night.
57. Names a wooden bird Tizzles and talks to it while making love every night.
58. Makes love every night to a wooden bird he or she named Tizzles.
59. Has splinters in unmentionable places...
60. Cheats on Tizzles with stuffed animal bird nicknamed Parah Salin.
61. Starts a list called the Bottom 40.
62. Sees the appeal of being part of the Bottom 40...
63. Lies, begs, borrows and steals just to make it into the Bottom 40.
64. Tom Fatsi posts and throws the entire thing into a tizzy.
65. Legion Worlders then become obsessed with finding all living letter writers and getting them to post here.
66. Tom Fatsi turns out to have been posting as MLLASH all along, in hopes of using this incident to relaunch his letter-writing career.
67. Wants to relaunch a letter-writing career.
68. Missed the wit of Outdoor Miner.
69. Totally miss any innuendo that could be made from a particular number.
60. Sends another poster a box of Epsom salts with which to soak loose the latter's imaginary, er, love splinters.
62. Encourages insomniac thread revivals.
63. Doesn't consider the previous 62 posts to be signs that someone has lost touch with reality.
64. 1st annual Legion World Prettiest Tin Foil Hat Making Contest.
8,000. If we're going past 27, why bother doing the low numbered ones?
77. Become totally OCD about numbers.
77. bothers to check and see that Rocky's post above should have been #76.
78. writes monitor duty on his resume.
79. Writes "LMB" on all the dishes with china marker before sitting down to eat.
80. Cites LMBP role-playing as work experience on resume.
81. Attempts at forwarding resumes to the 31st Century, in hopes of finding a more hospitable economy.
68. continuely uses time bubble to go back in time to setup lame jokes
69. continues to answer inane questions.
13035. Totally ignores previous numbering system
84. there is no sign #84.
-3. Starts to consider sleep a luxury item.
86. attempts to start the bedtime mafia....you don`t pay, you don`t sleep!!!
86.5 djkel mwlele jkkkei eeankc.
87. Starts work on: LMB: The Musical
88. ...And fully expects to get a Federal grant for it.
89. Names every the fish in aquarium after a different LWer.
90. ^^ ...and makes them wear costumes.
91.Describes upcoming summer getaway locale as "Great Mother Ocean."
92. Wonders why more people don't have conversations with plates of ravioli.
93. Pickets the White House demanding that the sentience of ravioli be recognized via Federal legislation.
93. Time spent pondering the feasibility of a Legion of Super-Turtles.
94. Pitches the Legion of Super-Turtles to Time Warner.
95. Highlight of the pitch about the Legion of Super-Turtles involves an epic battle against a sentient ravioli.
96. Reunites Wang Chung for the sole purpose of having them write the Legion of Super-Turtles cartoon theme song.
97. Reunites Culture Club to get them to record Wang Chung's Legion of Super-Turtles theme.
98.Forms cover band with cleome on drums, Outdoor Miner on bass, Rockhopper Lad on tambourine and Fanfic Lass handling vocals in order to cover Culture Club's cover of Wang Chung's Super-Turtles theme.
99. Joins the above band on keyboards.
100. Spends millions to breed a variety of grape that grows orange, purple, and white all in the same bunch. Christens it the "Triplicate Girl."
101. Discusses Godzilla in each thread.
102. complains about the lack of tomato, Nosferatu and flying lemur references in this thread.
103. Invents the highly successful "next big thing" in fad diets: featuring tomatoes, flying lemurs, and a chef named Nosferatu.
104. Thinks this is 21st century Earth.
105. Takes "flying" belt into RadioShack to see if they can do anything about its faulty propulsion system.
106. I keep wondering where Kree-Lar is. Did Galactus visit when I was gone?
107. Wonders if Klar Ken is from Kree-Lar.
108. Asks Mapquest to give proper directions to yard sale in Kree-Lar.
109. Calls the Mapquest chick Irma.
110. Just realized that 27 x 42 = 666!
111. Convinced that ridonkulous is the new ridiculous.
112. First thought upon seeing a sign indicating that a store is open 24/7: "Otto Binder". (True Story
)
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Arial, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Arial, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Exnihil:
<strong> 112. First thought upon seeing a sign indicating that a store is open 24/7: "Otto Binder". (True Story
113. Ashamed to admit to having never drawn that connection before.
114. Suggests the names Garth, Rokk and Imra to friend expecting triplets.
115. Suggests the name "Luornu" to a friend expecting identical triplets.
116. Suggests "Mekt" to a friend expecting a singleton.
117. Ignores household chores to be the next post on the One Word Posts Thread
118. Sees the above as a sign of sanity.
119. Starts calling one's coffeemaker "Computo."
120. Refers to the coffee grounds as "Lu".
121. Sculpts a statue of the top ten posters entirely out of coffee grounds.
122. Sees an image of Lightening Lad on a potato chip and calls the Enquirer.
123. Bids on the LL potato chip on ebay. Retirement funds? Pah! Who needs 'em!
124. Tries to figure out how many lists of 27 it will take for this thread to be on 27 pages
125. You think about the romantic life of your character.
126. You agonize over whether your character should hit on the new character.
127. You think about beating your friends to the hitting on of said character.
128. You think about taking said character aside and giving her a motherly warning about those sorts of "gentlemen."
129. Start thinking about offering someone else another foot rub. Cause the last one went sooo well.
130. You wonder if your character should also hit on the character giving the warning.
130. Your complicated character, born in one dimension and raised in another, begins to look simple.
132. You wonder which character Dev's character gave a foot rub?
133. You wonder if your character looks fat in this speedo.
134. Running out of booze after feeling compelled to take a drink every time somebody mentioned CT's Speedo.
(hic!)
135. Devote all of their energy to releasing a #1 album.
In Sweden.
136. Fantasizes being with Thor "that nice Swedish boy".
137. Writes a fanfic depicting an epic battle between Reboot Matter-Eater Lad and Jim Henson's Swedish Chef.
138. Plagiarizes said fanfic from another LMB-er and submits it to Dan Didio.
139. Fantasizes about naked Dan Didio.
140. Posts on this thread when I should be in bed.
141. Buys cupcakes that look like flight rings.
142. Thinks eating the cupcakes will make him fly.
143. Demands birthday cake resemble Legion Clubhouse
144. Steals ingredients to make lifesize Clubhouse Birthday Cake.
145. Canvases neighborhood after lightning storm to make sure Soljer didn't wake up.
146. You will not stop until you win at Solitaire in the Spaceopoly section.
Originally posted by Eryk Davis Ester:
135. Devote all of their energy to releasing a #1 album. In Sweden. ah, you're just jealous that the only place "EDE's Greatest Hits" even charted was in Malta (and even then barely).
YES! I'm Kent's first Legion World groupie! -
Kent you ROCK the Swedish music scene like Ozzy Osbourne, Eminem and Lady GaGa COMBINED!
You're ABBA-licious!
U bent een DIER van de Rock, Kent!! (sorry, Bablfish didn't have English to Swedish, so I substituted Dutch)
147. Get into a vicious hair-pulling fight with Kent's groupie.
148. Learn to fart Kent's greatest hits.
149. Strenously maintain that the artistic cred of massive influence on Malta's underground scene trumps selling out to the tastes of the Swedish masses.
150. Point out that most Swedish rock stars are Satanists and cannibals.
151. Begin camping out on line now for tickets for the Broadway musical based on Kent's greatest hits
152. Begin camping out on line now for tickets for the Broadway musical based on Chief Taylor farting Kent's greatest hits
153. Send CT a lifetime supply of Beano
154. Campaign to have Science Police Headquarters renamed "The ALL-Eryk Davis Ester forum", in the hopes of attracting more Maltese posters.
155. Visit Malta for the gambling and prostitutes but tell Eryk it was for his concert.
156. Stow away in Cobie's luggage
157. shows up at poetry slam with a 3,010 line epic poem entitled Timbowolf.
158. Masters Thesis is titled, "The Origin of Consciousness In the Breakdown Of the Bicameral Mind As Explicated In Contemporary 31st Century Epic Poetry"
I was never in touch with reality in the first place.
159. Wonders why a rigorous search through the Social Security Index doesn't bring up anyone named "Fanfic Lass."
160. Parody lyrics posts run rampant.
161. Non-parody lyrics posts run rampant.
Originally posted by Fat Cramer:
17. Begin worshiping molybdenum.
Heretic! Blasphemer! The One True Metallic Deity is NIOBIUM! HAIL NIOBIUM!!!
162. Takes bath in generic Dr Pepper knockoffs in ritual meant to honor Holy Niobium, blessed be Its name.
163. Renounces niobium and molyndenum because Krypton is also on the periodic table. And, well, it's in comic books, dammit!
164. Tastefully sets the periodic table for a dinner party for twelve. Now to chill the salad forks or not? That is the question.
165. Proposes doing away with the periodic table in favor of the less restrictive commadic table.
166. Plans a Thanksgiving gathering; seating chart puts Lardy at the semicolonic table.
167. Brings space-pot to the party in case anyone wants a high colonic instead.
168. Attended that party but don't remember the details, and suspect space-pot or mindwipe.
169. Always reaches the supermarket checkout with nine flavors of ice cream in the cart, but with no recollection of how they all got there.
170. attends the police academy, hoping to be a professional continuity cop.
171. You believe Alt. ID. is the name of some sort psychological disorder
172. On your resume, you list "Threadkiller" as an achievement.
173. On your resume, you list "A Huge, Pulsating, Ever-Expanding Chicken Heart" as your address.
174. You don't have a resume, because you think you run a café that serves everything for free.
175. Bringing a ring to the mechanic's shop for repair, instead of to the jeweler.
176. You tell someone to freeze and, for a split-second you expect them to become encased in ice.
177. You use lingo like Sprock, Nass and Florg in real life.
178. Going to a department store kitchenware section and asking the salesperson, "Does this juicer work on Kono fruit, too?"
179. Wonder why Superman didn't show up when that dam collapsed.
180. You profess not-entirely-ironic admiration for Pamela Des Barres.
181. You like her just because you like the name "Des Barres."
182. Calling the temp agency to inquire if you should report to work during Klordny, and if not will you be paid for your time off?
183. Not one but two -- TWO! -- George Michael karaoke threads!!
184. You're disappointed in the lack of Andrew Ridgeley karaoke threads.
185. Drawing Legion tryout fan art where all the rejects look like Andrew Ridgeley, John Oates, and Art Garfunkel.
186. Thinks that a band featuring Andrew, John, Art, and Jim might have enormous commercial possibilities.
187. Titles debut LP, "Sympathy For The Sidekick."
188. Quits job to follow The Sidekicks on their world tour.
189. Writes a Letter to the Editor demanding that square tomatoes be brought back on the market.
190. inability to understand the relationship between the numbers 27 and 190.
191. Insistence that the LMB sandwich (lettuce, mutton, and banana) will one day supplant the BLT in the deli hierarchy
192. Launches campaign to market "The LMB" at St*rb*cks franchises all over the world.
193. Expresses irritation that someone would choose St*rb*cks over Cramer's Cafe
194. Creates a brand-new take on the St*rb*cks logo featuring Pov as a merman.
195. Buys custom-made stopwatch, just to time the number of seconds that have to elapse between posts in order to avoid the flood warnings.
196. Checks out Huffington Post for news of Time Trapper activity.
197. Submits articles to the Huffington Post regarding Time Trapper activity.
198. Petitions President Obama to appoint a Time Trapper Czar.
199. Expects the landmark 200th post to have something to do with Chuck, Lu and/or Starfinger.
200. Everybody adopts Lu's Cockrum-era hairstyle for a day, whether it looks good on them or not.
201. Dev walks around in a replica of The Black Knights helmet.
202. Starts a support group for sufferers of fandom-induced helmet-hair.
202a. "Not just a member. I'm also a client."
203. Bumper sticker proclaims: "my other vehicle is a Super Moby Dick...of Space!"
204. Complains to local councilman about rowdy Khundish neighbours.
205. Took vegetarian girlfriend to Korean Barbeque Restaurant.
206. Calls all the neighborhood cats "Streaky" and "Whizzy."
207. Refuses to join local VFD until they get a yellow upside-down rocket HQ.
208. See a book on hold at the library for someone with the surname "Miner" and wonder if the first name is "Outdoor".
209. Ask why the Encyclopedia Galactica isn't anywhere to be found in the reference section.
209a. Answer that it is only found online.
210. Start imagining what your friends and co-workers would look like in Legion costumes...
211. Practices sucking in of gut and throwing out of chest in preparation for the Imaginary Legion Costume Visualization Hour.
212. Ask female co-worker if she has a pink bikini
213. Call same co-worker a "shameless hussy" when she admits she does.
214. Scouts the Lane Bryant and Junonia websites in search of something in a plus-size pink space bikini.
215. Talk about Imsk and Colu as if they were nearby cities...
216. Pickets town hall because they won't recognize Klordny as a holiday.
217. Tries or order Silverale at the bar...
218. Attempts to remove someone's "flight ring" as they leave the bar inebriated.
219. Mixes Lotus fruit juice with radish juice and carrot juice.
220. At nightclubs, asks DJs to play "Three-Eyed Sam From the Planet Wham"
221. Gets really weird looks at church when he retells the story of Jo Nah and the beast that swallowed him.
221a. Interrupt the sermon to ask whether this is the Pre-Crisis, Post-Crisis, 5YL, SW6, Reboot, Threeboot or Neoclassic Jo Nah.
221b. Interrupts the sermon to ask if Prince Evillo is the Antichrist.
222. Expects LWers to look like their avatars in real life.
223. Undergoes costly surgical makeover in order to better resemble one's avatar and thus not disappoint the other posters.
224. Wonders if the Mia Farrow wig he purchased looks enough like his previous avatar
225. Insists at her/his high school reunion that all the embarrassing moments are no longer in continuity.
226. Buys a truckload of late-summer melons at great expense, then painstakingly hand-carves the Legion logo onto each and every one of them.
227. Thinks they're still on #27.
228. Calls 911 fearing that his poop might be a Servant of Darkness.
229. Wonders what Chief Taylor's poop looks like
230. Imagines an LMB version of The Road To Wellville, with Chief Taylor starring as Dr. Kellogg
230a.
With Rockhopper Lad in the Matthew Broderick role, Fanfic Lass in the Bridget Fonda role, Lash in the Jon Cusack role and He Who Wanders as Chief O'Brien.
230b. Searches the IMDB expecting to find CT, Rocky, FL, LASH, and HWW listed there.
231. Searches all over the house for lost Omnicom.
232. Continuously asks the neighbors if anyone named Mordru has been nosing around the neighborhood.
233. Clacks a couple of coconuts together and refers to them as "Comet."
234. Totally hooked on that new kids show: Where In The World Is Abin Quank?, despite not having any children of one's own.
235. Annoyed that Abin Quank has not shown up to fix the leaky taps.
236. Falls asleep at computer in exhaustion after searching years of
Billboard Top 40 lists for the highest position of
"He's Three-Eyed Sam From The Planet Wham!" 237. Forgets to put number in front of post 236 and has to use "Edit" feature. :headdesk:
238. Redraws the entire Legion as "Alternative" rockers.
238a. Doesn't understand why Fanfic Lass never calls/writes/messages anymore.
239. hates cake, tomatoes or some other praiseworthy food.
240. Wears underwear on the outside of pants because it just feels so right.
241. Gets a notice from the bank that the mortgage is three months late and can't understand why that mindwipe didn't work.
Originally posted by cleome:
233. Clacks a couple of coconuts together and refers to them as "Comet."
242. Skips a week of work to bake coconut desserts for everyone in the "How Many Posts...?" thread.
243. Checks for passport before signing out.
244. Plans massive "Restoring Legion Sales" rally on National Mall.
245. Organizes Protean rights rallies.
246. Graciously yields the privilege of Sign #247 to another LWer.
247. Graciously accepts that privilege.
248. Sends a pair of mohair thong underwear to Tina Fey
249. Thinks that Mohair Thong would be good name for a Green Lantern.
250. Immediately copyrights "Mohair Thong"
251. Takes seven months of a political campaign to connect that the combined names of the two candidates for governor in your state form a supporting character from Superman. Great Caesar's Ghost!
(And that this was my post #12121 and didn't post in the "w00t!" thread!)
252. Would've thought it that much cooler for Rocky's numeric palindromic milepost 12121 to have been on a numbered reason that is also a palindrome.... say, 252, for example.
253. Thinks that the names "Garth" and "Imra" don't sound too bad for names for their actual real children.
*Uh ... hope I didn't just offend anybody!*
Originally posted by future king:
253. Thinks that the names "Garth" and "Imra" don't sound too bad for names for their actual real children.
*Uh ... hope I didn't just offend anybody!*
I actually did suggest Garth, Rokk and Imra to a friend who was expecting triplets. Go back and look at #114.
I told said friend about posting reason #114 and the following #115 and he thought they were hilarious.
254. Job resume written in Interlac.
255. Calls in sick with Rigellian Fever.
256. Compares the French to Khunds (often unfavorably).
257. Emails Good Seasons, Hidden Valley Ranch, Wishbone, and Paul Newman to ask why they don't sell Khund Dressing.
258. Bribes other board members for their votes to be elected treasurer of the Winona Ryder fan club
259. Tunes into election coverage on cable news hoping to see how Phantom Girl, Tyroc, and Gates are doing.
260. Writes letters to the editor in favor of Legion election candidates.
261. Goes door-to-door campaigning for his/her preferred Legion election candidate.
262. Wonders why there is no televised debate for Legion leader.
263. Organizes a "Return to Sanity" rally when the Tea Party announces they are backing Command Kid for LSH leader
264. Point out that Command Kid's whole "demonic possession" phase was ages ago, when he was a teenager, and "Hey, doesn't everybody do crazy things when they're teens?"
265. Wonders if Christine O'Donnell was ever rejected during Legion tryouts.
266. Launches new election-season black ops group: The Scone Squad
267. Anonymously pays for a massive saturation ad-campaign criticizing Brainiac Five's record.
Originally posted by Kent:
265. Wonders if Christine O'Donnell was ever rejected during Legion tryouts.
They already had a white witch.
268. Is inspired by the... dry wit of certain posters to invent a "flight ring," that can generate rimshots at the wearer's will.
Originally posted by Outdoor Miner:
Originally posted by Kent:
[b]265. Wonders if Christine O'Donnell was ever rejected during Legion tryouts.
269. Googles Christine O'Donnell and LSV to check for possible connections.
270. ^ finds enough circumstantial evidence to form a conspiracy theory connection, and blogs about it.
271. Watches old Bill Maher shows for signs of the rise of Darkseid
272. Watches Jackass hoping to see one of those stupid stunts resulting in the acquisition of super-powers.
273. Watches old Sonny and Cher Show for costume ideas.
274. Watches Degrassi: The Next Generation with the volume off and dubs in dialogue from Levitz era stories.
275. Throws out TV and tries to get shows to display on wall through flight ring.
Writes angry letters to the major television networks complaining that shows like "Heroes" and "No Ordinary Family" are blatant copyright infringements to the whole LSH franchise.
277. Goes on a field trip to the hardware store to research the wide array of fascinatingly primitive nails, screws, tacks, and toggle bolts.
278. Cites The Encyclopedia Galactica as a source in a research paper.
279. Spends more and more time drooling over the hunk's pictures on the Legion Creator Photos thread, and less and less time on internet porn sites.
280. Makes paper mache figures of the hunk's pictures on the Legion Creator Photos thread in various pornographic poses for teammate ...
281. Tries picking up strange men in bars by pretending to be one of the dudes in the Legion Creator Photos thread.
Becomes a respected astronomer in the hopes of one day discovering Winath, Braal, Cargg, et al.
283. Puts up roadside and yard campaign signs for the Legion election, to the great mystification of neighbors and passing tourists alike.
284: Nervously suspects the "Curse of Darkseid" when opposing candidates' supporters vandalize the campaign signs in the dead of night.
285. Campaigns on the "All Variants At The Original Cover Price" platform.
286. Campaigns on the "Restore Silver Age Values" platform.
287. Writes letters to big-wig Hollywood producers asking for a remake of "Gone With The Wind" with the lead roles to be played by Nura Nal and Thom Kallor.
frankly my dear, I don't give a floorg!
288. Rewrites the famous George Carlin sketch, featuring Gates and "the seven naughty words you can't say on 31st Century television."
289. Puts Lester Spiffany as a reference on an employment application.
290. Using oranges, Triple Sec, and a bathtub, attempts to make home "invisibility serum".
291. Exposes children to high levels of radiation, hoping to cause them to gain powers.
292. Is afraid of getting mano, but for entirely the wrong reasons.
293. Asks to be seated in the anti-gravity section at Denny's.
294. Wonders whether Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead in current continuity.
294a. Demands the grave be dug up to see.
294b. Asks that the body in the grave be examined to prove it's not an LMD.
295. Blames his/her unruly behavior on space fatigue
296. Look in the yellow pages under "Morgna" for fireplace installations and repairs.
297. Point to the fact that they've completed their senior year of high-school as evidence of their "12-level intelligence".
298. Wonders if that robo-vac he sees on TV might actually be Quislet.
299. Thinks the next season of The Bachelorrette should showcase Dream Girl as the lead.
300. Wonders why no composer has ever thought to compose an opera about the Legion.
301. Composes an opera about the Legion.
302. (an actual one!) Composes a pantheon of gods based on the Legion for a D&D campaign.
303. Celebrate one's adoption into the LASH clan by sending everyone a pic of oneself in a towel.
304. Writes a fanfic where he stars as LASH's towel.
305. Insists that "Beauty and The Beast" was inspired by the true love story of Blok and the White Witch.
304a. Plagiarizes CT's fanfic.
304b. Sues cleome for plagiarizing his fanfic.
304c. Trademarks the term "fanfic" so everyone has to pay me a royalty!
304d. Tries to pay off all offended parties by transforming tinfoil into gold.
305. Logs in when one should be in bed just to post about broccoli.
<span style="font-size: 11px;">Oh. Wait...</span>
306. Are designing another version of Monopoly but this time featuring the Legion and the 31st century as the theme.
(Actually that's a pretty cool idea!)
307. Wonders why the local CBS doesn't have the latest issue of
All-Lash.
308. Wonders why iTunes doesn't have that 80's classic:
"LASH! A...ah!
King of the impossible
He's for every one of us
Stand for every one of us
He'll save with a mighty hand
Every man, every woman
Every child, with a mighty...
LASH!"
309. Stridently argues that the remake of Lash of the Titans was better than the original.
310.Wondering why I agree with Outdoor Miner.
311. Wondering when Lash will be Guest-Starring On Ghost Hunters?
312. Sees an image of LASH in a grilled cheese sandwich. Puts said sandwich up for auction online, expecting to make a fortune.
313. Has their name legally changed to "Condo Arlik" just because it has a cool ring to it.
313. Tells his son who just turned 13 that next birthday, he's an adult and must move out!
314. Tells same son that he must move to another planet and get a job.
315. proposes a Moopsball pool down at the local bar.
316. Starts researching how to properly predict the point spread on Moopsball games.
317. Thinks Legionnaire's Disease is a term of endearment.
318.Still against Megan Fox playing Wonder Woman
319. Would be willing to write letters to Megan Fox's manager asking to cast her as Phantom Girl (starring in her own movie).
320. Continuously tries and fails blowing a large enough bubble to enter and then time-travel in.
321. Goes door to door collecting money for the Shanghalla Beautification Fund.
322. Rented "Apocalypse Now" hoping to see some signs of the Legion battling Darkseid.
323. still holds a grudge against Ralph Macchio, but not to the point of wanting to introduce him to Keith Giffen.
324. Writes a letter to the Times editor about Tyroc's costume.
325. Sees a friend wearing a barrette and thinks "She's so copying Dream Girl's look!"
326. Thinks 'Lori Morning' is the name of a new morning talk show.
Originally posted by Hrista Spjóti:
323. still holds a grudge against Ralph Macchio, but not to the point of wanting to introduce him to Keith Giffen.
327.
Wants to introduce Ralph to Keith.
328. Wonders why the various Karate Kid movies have no apparent Legion connection.
329. Was jailed in Las Vegas for trying to use Naltorian technology to predict the outcomes at various Blackjack tables.
330. Launches chain of T.G.I.Klordny restaurants and doesn't anticipate being sued.
331. Mandates that every member of the serving staff at T.G.I Klordny must not only memorize the entire contents of the LegionWiki, but also be able to sing it for patrons who are celebrating a birthday.
332. puts elected LW office on C.V., and asks LW founders for letters of recommendation for grad school.
333. Never once questions why the "27 signs..." on this thread has now climbed up to 333 signs.
334. Used a neuralizer on future king to stop him from pointing out the obvious!
335. worries that if someone edits the name of a "27 signs" thread, if that constitutes a retcon to thread continuity.
336. Sent an anonymous tip to the police claiming Tiger Woods' strange behaviour lately was due to his actually being a Durlan spy.
337. dates checks and documents with 3010 as the year.
338. Is afraid to enter tunnels because "The Blight" have corrupted them all.
339. Looks online for a Starhaven resident who can help track down those lost car keys.
340. Thinks Dream Girl's costume design might not make a bad contemporary wedding dress fashion statement.
341.Wondering if 186,000 MPS isnt a law, but more like an agreement.
342. Walks around with a giant L on his belt buckle and defends against people claiming he's a self-admitted loser.
342a. does the same thing with my flight ring. (does not allow wearer to fly)
343. Pleased to see RJ Brande honored in parades this time of year, but wonders why he's grown a long beard and wearing a red snowsuit.
344. Wonders when watching Star Trek why they keep calling the UP the "Federation" and they never run into Braalians, Imskians or Durlans.
345. Has an invisible best friend named Lyle.
346. Asks a girl to dance the shurg with him.
347. Hoping to get a internship on Nullport.
348. Starts a Presidential draft pool.
349. Advocates replacing electoral college with a planetary chance machine.
350. Cuts peekaboo windows into the front of all their formal wear.
Originally posted by cleome:
350. Cuts peekaboo windows into the front of all their formal wear.
351. <strike>I once</strike> has applied for the Royal Canadian Legion (but was disappointed to be turned down for various reasons).
352. Made a 10 ft replica of The Computo created Legion Hq in my living room. (A la Richard Dryfess in Close Encounters)
353. Skips out on the family Thanksgiving Dinner because "Lightning Lass is on vacation and I have to cover her monitor shift."
354. Plan on asking Legion Tracker to be my teammate on The Amazing Race, with his tracking skills nothing will stop us NOTHING. Bwahahahahaha.
355. has the flu so tries to google map 'medicus one' and looks through the yellow pages for Dr. Gym'll's number.
356. Agrees with Ultra Boy's one-power-at-a-time philosophy and applies that at his job ... one function at a time. NO MULTI-TASKING ALLOWED!
357. Photoshops the football highlights so all the dudes are wearing bustiers with matching boots and gloves.
358. Blames man-boobs on someone spiking the punch with Pro-Fem.
359. Launching a new portable Storage Tesaract for Horders. It's a win win for everybody.
360. Brings a casserole to the office holiday party full of something called "Elvabird a la Voxv."
361. Buys Legion flight ring, even though not really a member, but doesn't use it to fly so as not to attract attention.
362. Is working on implementing a "mission monitor board" at work in order to keep track of his employees.
363. Insists on calling Facebook the Mission Monitor Board.
364. goes out in winter wearing nothing but a 'transuit'.
365. Is planning a vacation to Thailand in hopes of meeting the mysterious race of nomadic humanoid insects, down by the river ...
366. Fully expects spam filter to net lots and lots of "amazing offer" emails from "friends" on Rimbor.
367. Pickets Tennessee Titans stadium, yelling "Earth for Earthlings!"
368. Thinks "Miracle Machine" would be a catchy name for a new line of washing machines.
369. Worries that Wikileaks will release LW secrets next.
Paid a deposit on Virgin Galactic for their maiden voyage to Ventura. "What Happens on Ventura Stays on Ventura."
371. thinks the troublesome neighbors are Durlan infiltrators!!!
372. Planning on dousing them with radiation to disable their shapeshifting powers.
373. shows up in traffic court and insists to the judge that the infraction in question is no longer in continuity.
374. Starts signing my name in Interlac
375. thinks that "get in shape" videos are training exercises for Durlans.
376. Is fond of, and respectful of, all snakes.
You never know when one will turn out to be a princess with illusion-casting powers.
377.Put cardboard sign saying COMPUTO under my CPU hoping for world domination.
378. Posts to craigslist's jobs listings as "Dyogene," in search of people who want to be Green Lanterns.
378a. Also lists with Jobdango, Careerbuilder, and Monster.
379. Considered applying for Green Lantern job, but decided to seek work with The Doom Patrol instead.
380. Thinks "Neon Rockfish" would be a pretty cool name for a new aquarium themed nightclub.
381. Starts a "Bring Back Lori Morning" campaign
382. Pioneers a cursive form of Interlac.
383. Suggests taking up a collection to get POV to actually wear pants.
384. Keeps looking over one's shoulder for Computo.
385. Wonders what level intelligence all his friends are, and if he is higher and can act aloof with a reason.
386. Does searches on Match.com using key words "Lar", "Gand", and "Lantern" in order to find a compatible partner.
Originally posted by Fat Cramer:
379. Considered applying for Green Lantern job, but decided to seek work with The Doom Patrol instead.
387. Sees FC in line at Doom Patrol auditions, tells her he's thinking of applying for that Green Lantern job too.
388. Wants brain put inside Robot body so no matter what being dead never sticks.
389. Put ad on Match dot com. "Single Legionnaire looking for his Flying Buttress".
390. Talks to Christmas trees before chopping them down, just in case it's really a Durlan in disguise.
391. Refuses to sit on Santa's lap because insists he's Mordru in disguise! It's a traaaap!!!
392. Is certain the dentist Elf in Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer is really a disguise used by the notorious and evil...
...
...
...CLONE OF THE LINDBERGH BABY!
393. Calls CIA warning of an imminent terrorist attack by Mordru and Lindbergh baby!
394. Follows CIA Director, Buck Hampants, home from work, believing him to be a secret Dark Circle spy working for the Mordru/CofLB alliance.
395. Begins planning a rescue from a secret CIA / Dark Circle holding facility, for Lardy and Cobes.
396. Believing Criss Angel to really be Benn Pares I put in a call to enlist his help for Power Boy's Cockamamie rescue plan.
397. Thinks a live-action TV show starring the Legion working in a hospital has a serious shot at making the top 10.
398. Feels like it would be safe to dress in Tyroc's old costume in the projects to "blend in for undercover mission."
Originally posted by Chief Lardy:
398. Feels like it would be safe to dress in Tyroc's old costume in the projects to "blend in for undercover mission."
399. Put Super Stalg Of Space sign on the front gate of job. Hoping to find Blockade Boy to help with the escape.
400. Spends hours on the phone trying to reserve an extra plot on Shanghalla.
401. Believes "The First Noel" is a song about one of Superman's Kryptonian ancestors.
402. Believes "The First Noel" is a veiled tribute to Noel Neill's role as the first Lois Lane.
403. Thinks sleep-building a robot copy of one's sweetie is a reasonable way to cope with the stress of a long-distance relationship.
404. Considerately takes into account if girlfriend is allergic to kryptonite before purchasing an engagement ring.
405. Long distant girlfriend comes to town for a visit. After making mistakes at work and at home you realize it's not your fault your a mess it's hers. then shout "Your too damn distracting."
407. Turns every post into some sort of sexual inuendo
Did #406 slip into an alternate reality?
Originally posted by future king:
Did #406 slip into an alternate reality?
Probably. That was my childhood home's address until somebody bought the place and tore it down.
406. Promises to save a threatened landmark using one's elemental powers.
407. Sings "Ballad of the Substitute Heroes" every morning in the shower!
[There already was a 407, so that makes Eryk's 408, which means:]
409. Thinks this number has the magical power to clean anything.
410: stares fiercely at enemies wondering why his heat vision isn't working. decides they must have some sort of anti-heat vision force field.
411. Thinks abililty to acquire information from others by invoking the magic words "Give me the 411 on that" constitutes a super-power.
412. Tries to defeat enemies with the power of dance
414. Is also very proud of ability to turn traffic lights green just by staring at them.
415. Produces a porn parody of "The Great Darkness Saga".
416. Looks for Christmas presents in Private Message box.
Originally posted by Chief Lardy:
415. Produces a porn parody of "The Great Darkness Saga".
417. Buys copies of this for self and friends
Originally posted by Chief Lardy:
415. Produces a porn parody of "The Great Darkness Saga".
418. Believes that one can Krazy-Glue one's own broken brain back together after a bad day on the internet.
419. Reports to the rest of the LMB that Chief Lardy is actually Kevin Smith.
420. Tries to pass off counterfeit Walking Money at Walmart.
421. While in Traffic Court I yell to the Judge, No Cell on Takron- Galtos can hold me. By Damn.
422. Sees a friend who's obviously dyeing their hair now and wonders immediately if they're actually a Durlan spy.
423. Refuses to pay mortgage, insisting, "He's not a house, he's just a native of Fwang."
424. Repeatedly passes through airport security scanners over the holidays, hoping to absorb enough radiation to activate latent mutant abilities.
425. Lets TSA personnel discover his 'arms fall off boy' impression... the hard way.
426. Accuses my nephews Dragonballz action figures of being Imskians.
427. Goes shopping for "polymer shields" to use as contraceptives.
428 Trying get NASA to use Intertron on the next-gen space craft.
429. Writes letter to Obama suggesting "fusion powersphere" as the solution to our energy problems.
430. Checks all current brands and makes of hair colours to see if any platinum colour exists so they can send it to Dream Girl in the future via a Time Bubble.
431. Puts aforementioned Dragonballz/Imskians in a fish bowl to prove that Time Bubbles are Theoretically possible...
432. Claims own hair's white streaks were caused by a surprise encounter with a worlds-crushing supervillain.
433. Barges into EPCOT, and when security catches him/her, demands to see Chief Zendak.
434. Asks the clerk in the supermarket's greeting card aisle, "Do you have any cards that say, 'Happy Holidays and BTW I Brutally Killed Your Loved One/Friend/Colleague Last Week And Assumed His Form And Faked The Signature Below'?"
<span style="font-size: 10px;">(Poor Chief Zendak. At least you'll live on whenever Gigi yells at somebody.)</span>
435. Checks with Santa Claus to make sure all the reindeer have Brainiac 5's permission to wear Legion Flight Rings.
436. Refers to all police officers as Officer Zendak. Well all male ones,females are refered to as Officer Erin.
437. Marches into an observatory and announces, "we have 1,000 years to save Titan!"
438. Buys a lifetime supply of sky blue body paint.
439. Doesn't own a Computo(er) for obvious reasons. You can't be too careful right Trip- ooops I mean Duo Damsel?
440. Since Lu has so many bodies, concludes that Computo was FRAMED by some government/corporate conspiracy!
441. Inserts a *breep* before and after every sentence spoken.
442. Can't find Reality's telephone number or email, and doesn't get any response from Facebook friend requests.
443. Decided it was safer to go to community college instead of Universoty. You can't be too careful nowadays.
444. Quits job, abandons family, sells everything one owns, and moves to Nashville with dreams of making it big with pilot song-writing project: "Let A Glare Be Your Umbrella: The Emerald Eye Sessions."
445. Re-reads his entire collection of Legion books once again ... this time, in an effort to humanize his heroes from the future more, tries to see if he can see any of them going to the bathroom at any point in the last 50 years.
446. Told my Girlfriend the wedding can only be held on Mars with a guest list of The Legion, The Subs, Heroes of Lallor, The Wanders, Martian Manhunter, and Superboy and Supergirl. And All LWBM.
(I know, I know, went overboard with All LWBM!)
447. Misses Luci's wedding because someone has to stay on duty at headquarters.
448. Sets hair aflame because it looked so cool on Fire Lad.
449. When confronted with 4th quarter performance numbers, breaks down and confesses, "Yes, it's true. I am... Productivity-Falls-Off Boy."
450. Tells son that no college can match the experience he can get at "The Legion Academy"...
Still pathetically trying to recruit for the Substitute Legion of Substitute Message Board Posters:
http://www.substitutelegionworld.com
Disappointed that
Miraculin is not the generic for Miraclo.
Still insists this is the year 2011, despite the obvious lack of jetpacks, hoverboards, and sentient robots.
454. Wonders if Lady Gaga secrectly gets her inspiration for all the different platinum blonde wigs she wears from Dream Girl.
455. Lists Scourge of a Distant Galaxy on resume.
456. When filling out employment applications, when confronted with the question of whether one has ever been convicted of a crime, wonders whether being jailed for crimes one might commit in the future counts.
457. Asks doctor to send him to the Phantom Zone until there's a cure when diagnosed with food poisoning.
458. Won't let kids do homework for fear of their altering history.
459. Doesn't understand why they got called into the boss' office for THAT talk after repeatedly using the phrase "speed force" in front of customers all the time.
460. Wants to call up his pet and talk to it.
461. Using shredded pictures of Chlorophyll Kid as fertilizer for my house plants. If successful will start my own company "Ral Lardy Benem Inc." our slogan, "We make poo work for you."
462. Thinks a new reality show about contestants creating a new Legionnaire actually has a chance of making it in next fall's prime time schedule.
463. Writes tell-all, hard-hitting book about U.P. politics and social mores: Green/Blue/Orange Like Me.
Originally posted by Chief Lardy:
460. Wants to call up his pet and talk to it. 463. Refers to intelligent, compassionate animals as "it".
465. Becomes actor Ralph Macchio's bodyguard because "Giffen's after you next!"
465a. Also has some buddies keep an eye on Hilary Swank and Jaden Smith.
466. Drafted a detailed request to move the United Nations Complex to the Dwarf Planet Ceres and rename it Webers World.
467. Butchers classic country tune so it's now called "Flight Ring of Fire."
468. "Darkseid of Kathoon" cover songs for Pink Floyd tribute band.
469. Writes a grant proposal to Monsanto for help in breeding a newer, more delicious species of Elvabird.
470. Doesn't realize until it's too late that there was a hiccup on the previous page and now our numbering is off!
471.[restorative white noise goes here]
472. Writes FB entry bragging about having repaired this thread's count.
472a. Is not even on FB at the time the entry is written.
473. Just got the Pepto "Bismoll" joke in the last week.
474. Volunteers to moderate the Titans forum, but only if given a "Mad Mod" alt-ID!
475. Is bust reading "The Dawn Star" book series desperately waiting for the part when the Legion approaches our romance heroine.
476. Throws away pruning shears and lawnmower, thinking that one's superpowers make them totally unnecessary.
477. Discusses the merits of various slash fictions, including Martin/Tim (My Favorite Martian), Ricky Ricardo/Fred Mertz and Arby's Hat/Hamburger Helper Helping Hand.
478. Names a series of casseroles after legendary LMB posters.
479. You are developing a code for other LMBers using names from the Bible.
480. Are looking forward to cracking the code.
481. Writes a frothing letter to the CEO of a major supermarket chain, demanding to know why the toy-vending machines out front of the local store don't have any costume jewelery flight rings available.
481b. Also why that glass box where you can try to grab a plush toy with that big pincer-gizmo for a buck doesn't have any plush Proteans in it.
482. Using a plasma torch, magnets and a beach ball full of hydrogen, spent the weekend trying to create a star. If R.J. Brande can do it then "By Damn" so can I.
483. Answers by saying that strong nuclear reactions would be a better bet. I also want to note that an evil/mind-slave Element Lad would be the best way to go.
484. Wonders why prominent national job posting site has a zillion fly-by-night "universities" in its banner ads, but not a single one that advertises the Legion Academy.
485. Wonders why there haven't yet been any news stories about the LMB Wiki.
486. Invents and patents instant alphabet soup with all the letters in Interlac.
487. Wonders why no one ever stages plays by Kent Shakespeare.
488. Figures there's no point in getting that tax return in on time, since everything's just going to be rebooted again anyway.
489. Startz speling liek won iz poasting inn thatt "Spel liek Cobatl Kidd" thred.
490. Invents the "Spelling Cee" game, in which one wins by incorrectly spelling more words than all of one's opponents.
491. Sets doing everything listed in the "Today I (Imaginary Version)" thread as a personal goal.
492. Searches tirelessly for all of those pornos that Lard Lad is said to have starred in.
492. Wonders if the real reason that Gym'll is missing an arm is because his people have had their genes spliced to the species that gave us Arm Fall Off Boy.
493. Is thinking about writing an article by Question Lad.
494. Thinks rhyming "zoo" with "poo" is clever.
495. "Beware the Octopi" begins to make sense!
496. Seeking a Federal grant to help Hot Pockets achieve sentience.
497. Have almost reached 500 signs in a thread that should have ended months ago based on its title.
498. When reconnecting with an old friend, thinks "I'm so glad he wasn't retconned out of existence!"
499. Starts a new Facebook account for each of one's alts.
500. Hijacks thread milestone number and talks about it.
501. Stresses over the fact that another LMBer got the coveted 500th spot of the way-poorly named "27 Signs..." thread.
* well played by the way Amigo *
At least my post number is one of my favorite classic jeans!
502. Number of times I've read "The Great Darkness Saga". Well... almost.
503. Drives people crazy by insisting on calling bananas "banyo fruit".
504. Wonders how many fellow posters are "weeny weedy weeky" people and how many are "venny veedy veechy" people.
505. Insists on bringing Julius Ceasar here in a Time Bubble to establish which is correct once and for all.
506. Honest belief that "time bubble" and "Julius Ceasar" not only belong together in the same sentence but actually make more sense that way dammit!
507. Writes romance fanfiction.
507a. ...featuring characters who never even spoke to each other in canon, even if they were in the same frame/panel a couple of times.
508. Goes to the paint-it-yourself ceramics store and makes Legion-themed butter dishes and cake plates for everyone on the LMB.
509. Thinks it was grand of the USA to name the location of the capital after the publisher of the Legion.
510. Thinks it impressive to scale the side of the reflecting pool at the washington monument, which is only about four feet deep. And then stands at the end and shouts... "Mera...!"
511. Makes crank calls to friends, telling them all about the time-shares they can win at a fabulous luxury resort on Phlon, if they'll just attend this free seminar the first Thursday in April...
512. Notes when we hit a number in the geometric progression beginning with 1, 2, 4, 8.
513. Thinks Lady Gaga would totally class up her image if she went by Lady Ga-GAH.
514. Includes two totally unrelated examples in a single post.
515. Writes Paul Levitz, Keith Giffen, and Phil Jimenez a frothing email to accuse them of stealing idea for an annual that debuts Macrame Maiden and her home planet, Twineland.
516. While doing research, finds Question Lad similar to Yitzhak Rabin.
517. If Emily was an animal she would be a rabbit, if Sebastian was an animal he would be a puppy.
518. Has an irrational urge to go swimming in 50 degree weather with overcast, gray, dull, lifeless skies overhead.
519. When people ask me how I am liking this cold weather I reply. "I hear Tharr is nice this time a year."
520. Makes references to Color Kid when people talk about playing the "Blues".
521. Wonders what would happen if certain LMBers were to date characters from classic sitcoms.
After Rickshaw/Gladys Kravitz, I think I may need to be institutionalized.
522. Angry that I still can't see Medicus One with 5th my telescope. ( I don't think they will be taking this one back as defective.)
HEY!!! I FORGOT ABOUT THIS COOL THREAD!!!
Anyways,
523. Borrows his nephew's Tai Kwan Doe outfit just so he can see if he looks like Karate Kid in the mirror.
"Oh, if only my hair weren't gray now ...."
Uhhh... I was NOT talking about myself, ok??
524. Denies talking to self.
525. Nude snake wrestling in Jell-O™ Pudding.
526. Thinks every thread is the one that quotes lines from Bloom County.
527. Makes a list that sorts LMBers according to whether one sees them as traditional (avian), or bunny-shaped Peeps™.
528. Asks the guy at the t-shirt kiosk at the mall if he got a shipment of Lard Lads or future kings in yet.
529. Wonders why Disney hasn't been sued for copyright infringement for the Beagle Boys.
530. Stalks Rebecaa Black and recruits her to join the LMB as "Meme Maid"!
531. Joins Facebook as "Mayor McCheese."
532. Pays twice the going rate for a Mayor McCheese action figure at the online auction site-- just because it's supposedly been autographed by Kent Shakespeare himself.
532. Thinks Sam Pureheart should have a rival called Ritchie Oak. We are in need of antagonists!!!
534. Worries about the pending worldwide shortage of numbers ending with "3".
535. Never once questions why there are 535 posts on a thread that limits them to just 27.
536. Looks on census form when asking how one commutes to work for "teleportation" and "self-propelled flight".
537. Decides to get married wearing only a black bustier and a long white veil.