Lies! More Lies!!! - Legion World

This is not a continuation of the previous lies thread.

I'm gonna' start a petition demanding that Rocky turn over his mod duties to a randomly selected lurker who's never even posted at all.

^I will lobby for Rocky's replacement to be Fart Girl.

I turned down another marriage proposal last night.

I have not even started my Christmas shopping yet and so will have to run around last minute to get things done, just like every year.

The question of how the Flintstones could possibly celebrate Christmas, as in the episode where Fred fills in for Santa Claus, never entered my head when I was a child.

I am horrified that "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" has been repealed.

I won't write any more Transformers fanfics ever again!

I have so much time, I could write all the fanfics I wanted to right now.

I'm not crushed that I'll have to wait a long time for the next installment of L.O.C.

Phil Collins is wrong. It is fun to be an illegal alien.

I did not listen to Phil Collins' Motown covers album, and even if I had, I would not have enjoyed it even as a guilty pleasure.

I would much rather listen to said Motown covers album rather than, for example, Phil's work with Brand X.

I do not have gaps in my Peter-era Genesis collection, and I have none, not one, of the Phil-era Genesis albums.

I would never defend Calling All Stations as the strongest post-1980 Genesis album, nor would I defend the B-sides from that era as even stronger than the material on the album.

I don't think that 80s Genesis videos were usually better than the songs attached to them.

That "Illegal Alien" song never makes me retroactively cringe.

I don't regret that many people probably didn't check out the self-titled 1983 Genesis album because they were put off by "Illegal Alien." "Home by the Sea" is garbage, and "Silver Rainbow" is caca.

Apparently "Yogi Bear" is still number one at the box office this holiday season.

The real Yogi Bear was a ferocious grizzly bear that once at an entire bus load of picnicking Presbyterians.

I don't own even one single piece of Genesis/Phil Collins/Mike Rutherford/Peter Gabriel music.

I didn't give up on Phil Collins after No Jacket Required, and hated his first two albums.

"Against All Odds, Take Me Home, and I Wish It Would Rain", never bring thoughts of 80's early 90's nostalgia to me.

"Sussudio" does not make me want to wiggle my tuchas.

If I ever have a daughter, I'm going to name her Sussudio.

If I ever have a son, I'm going to name him Kurt.

In the sequel to the Yogi Bear movie, the role of Huckleberry Hound will be voiced by Phil Collins.

Based on all the positive reviews, and with plenty of enthusiasm on my part, I went to see the new Yogi Bear movie this afternoon.

I paid for K.E.N.T.'s popcorn. Only 99 cents for the big bucket! Whatta' deal!

Even better: my bucket had the secret prize at the bottom: an actual, working Flight Ring!

I also had a secret prize at the bottom of my popcorn........I got a rock

December 25th is the best day to work on your tan in the Northern Hemisphere.

I really want to go see that Yogi Bear movie.

I always understand the posts about rock and pop music.

That's because I call Rocky up and spend hours and hours and hours explaining them to him.

i LOVE winter!!!

I think that buying people ridiculously expensive gifts they neither want nor need is the perfect way to celebrate the Nativity.

I think it's better to receive than to give at Christmas time.

I wouldn't rather have been working and earning some extra dough than sitting around at home today.

I hope everyone on Legion World has a simply dreadful Christmas!

MERRY CRAPPY CHRISTMAS, bitches!

Francis Scott Key is the originator of key parties.

I think that muscular men are repulsive. I find bouncing pecs to be particularly vile.

I have washboard abs

I have a washboard.

My pecs still have all the "bounce" that they did twenty-five years ago!

That new "Season of the Witch" movie trailer does not look at all interesting.

In Fiji, flipping the middle finger at someone indicates approval.

I didn't get two awesome sweaters I wanted for Christmas this year!

I'm sooo happy to be at work today.

I'm so miserable not to be at work today, and I don't feel sorry for those that had to work today.

I am not incredibly amused that "mash the rutabagas" seems to have become a euphemism for something.

Quote

Originally posted by Mattropolis:
I'm sooo happy to be at work today.

It wouldn't make me happy to switch places with Matt today.

I didn't get lots of gift cards and cologne for Christmas this year.

My wife isn't at all reluctant to jump into the melee today and spend our gift cards.

I don't have a sister who spent several years as an evil old crone before being magically rejuvenated but later becoming unnaturally pale and sprouting antennae.

I think this is Scott Schwartz\' year to win an Oscar...

When the wind shakes the house, I am not nervous.

I'm annoyed that we didn't get anything from that big storm that walloped the coast.

For the record I am so happy Christmas is over!

I don't think "Talledega Nights" is quotable.

The chest hair thread is in no way amusing, and I don't wonder what the blazes ever happened to the poster who started it...

I love snow. Especially how it keeps everything wet and cold.

I love snow too, how it freeze everything it shouldn't, plus how it makes people slide and lose control of their vehicles. Nice!

Snow? I like cold much better. The numbing feeling in my feet and hands and the way it freezes the moisture around my mustache. Bring it on Baby!

As long as there's a frigid breeze, I enjoy winter.

Thanks to my super-hairy feet, I never need fear the cold in Wintertime.

It was announced early this morning that Donnie Osmond has decided to run for president of the United States in the next elections. This is in the hopes of killing his 'eternal teenager' image once and for all.
Dick Clark and Company have filed a formal appeal.

cleome's super-hairy feet were just featured in Hobbit Foot Fetish Monthly.

I'm really surprised Lardy reads Hobbit Foot Fetish Monthly.

Bullwinkle the Moose is based on Gerald Ford.

Quote

Originally posted by Karl Earl Nick Tain:
I'm really surprised Lardy reads Hobbit Foot Fetish Monthly.

I custom autographed Lardy's copy for an undisclosed sum.

Quote

Originally posted by cleome:

Quote

Originally posted by Karl Earl Nick Tain:
[b] I'm really surprised Lardy reads Hobbit Foot Fetish Monthly.

I custom autographed Lardy's copy for an undisclosed sum.[/b]

...with her feet!

Quote

Originally posted by Quislet, Esq:
Bullwinkle the Moose is based on Gerald Ford.

Who in turn was based on Chevy Chase.

Quote

Originally posted by Chief Lardy:

Quote

Originally posted by cleome:
[b]

Quote

Originally posted by Karl Earl Nick Tain:
[b] I'm really surprised Lardy reads Hobbit Foot Fetish Monthly.

I custom autographed Lardy's copy for an undisclosed sum.[/b]

...with her feet!

[/b]

It's a good thing I got all that glitter polish for Xmas, yes?

I've seen the autograph!

...so cleome's real name is... Xaviera Hollander!? who knew?

I regularly eat waffles.

We got more snow.

If you want to get your partner in the mood, turn on some sexy music and start clog dancing.

I love Jersey Shores!

I like cane patch syrup... and only cane patch.

"Cane patch syrup" is an old Southern euphemism for hot tranny lovin'.

Yup, Carol's tha sexiest tranny I ever did see'd.

Donald Trump successfully copyrighted the phras "You're fired!". With a $10.00 royalty fee, he is still making million in the current economy.

I'm one of Carol's tranny friends.

Cloris Leachman looks great naked.

Curse you Future King, now I'm obsessed with trying to see if that is true.

It is; Cloris has the boobs of twenty year old Lard Lad.

I look so great naked, I'm going out sans clothing today in the 20-30 F temps to do my grocery shopping. That way the whole world will know!

I am still as idealistic as I was when I was twenty.

I am not trying to enter the top ten today.

Rocky doesn't have a prayer.

And no one will ever force me out of the top ten once I'm there. Cleome will never catch up to me!

I'll be in the Top Five by February.

I won't feel one bit bad about unseating my buddy Fat Cramer, nor will I be upset about making the Top Ten an all-boys club.

I'll adopt Calvin's motto: "Get Rid of Slimy Gurlz!"

Yes, here on Legion World, we think girls are yucky.

I fully comprehend this strange place and all that transpires here...

I don't like Legion World at all. I don't know why I've visited this site nearly every day for the past five years!

Quote

Originally posted by Lad With Glasses:
I fully comprehend this strange place and all that transpires here...

"There is only one person in any company who knows what's going on, and that person should be fired."

I am so looking forward to Madonna's and Britney Spear's new albums next year!

I can not wait for this vacation to be over...

I'm totally optimistic about 2011.

I don't find this thread funny at all. Nope. Not one bit.

I did not edit this post because I accidentally double-posted.

My laptop made me do it!

I love being called in to work on Sundays!

Yesterday's party sucked and I didn't drink way too much bourbon punch.

I hope Ibby doesn't start posting more!

I am not going to stuff myself like a fat pig with the dinner I'm serving up tonight!

Six hours of sunlight in the midst of a normally gray, soggy Winter does nothing to lift one's spirit. Nope. Just doesn't.

Peanut butter cookies, homemade, have no effect on my sugar diabetes at all.

I'm so glad the folks at Comic-Con have finally gotten their registration straightened out...

Yet another X-Men book is set to debut this month. I'm excited.

I don't want warmer weather during the winter.

My older son is feeling just peachy tonight.

The average lemur eats 500 pounds of mangos a year.

I can't wait for another season of Gossip Girl to begin.

Heroes was a great example that Superheroes can hold an network audience.

Going back to work today was just as much fun as being on vacation...

Quote

Originally posted by Quislet, Esq:
The average lemur eats 500 pounds of mangos a year.

Me, too. Except that I consume it in sorbet form.

Lemurs are also very fond of sorbet.

Lemurs exist in all parts of the world where trendy exotic sorbet is created. They have also helped endorse sorbet by appearing in local TV ads.

Worldwide, the most popular flavors of sorbet are; Mango, Brown Rice & Mushrooms, Spring Onion, Bubblegum Ice Cream, and Ben & Jerry's Alice BBQ ChickenCooper.

Sigh, I never get sorbet only rocks....

Rockhopper Lad's new dessert company will have Lucifer's and everyone else's sorbet-related issued solved in a trice. I'll be handling P.R. Right now we're toying with the slogan: How do you spell solace? S-O-R-B-E-T!

We accept all major credit cards.

Alternate slogan:

The road is ROCKY! With FLAVOR!!

I know why birds are dying everywhere..... God must really be enjoying the "Angry Birds" game.

I just tried my first dish of Rocky Brand Sorbet (Walnut Crunch Muffin), and I must say it was really delicious and flavorful.

It was also extremely loud.

Rick Dees made $1.5 million for his song Disco Duck . However he blew it all when he responded to a Mr. John Ngumba from Nigeria who had a business proposition.

Dang it how come Ram got his Rocky Brand Sorbet before I got mine? Heads will roll for this!!!

Breaking News!!! They cancelled creating sorbert ice cream everywhere!

"Disco Duck" is actually a metaphor for sorbet.

The way William Shatner sings "Mr. Tamborine Man" is the definitive version of the song.

Next up for Shatner is his interpretation of "Disco Duck"!

Shatner will be performing while wearing one of Elton John's vintage costumes from the 1970s.

Cher and Tom Petty will be singing back-up. Also dressed as ducks.

Shatner starts up his own reality show featuring on point, classic, disco dancing.

I do so love reality shows!

future king and I are starring in our own reality show this fall on CBS. It'll be called, So You Really Think You Can Sing And Dance Like Shatner?

I shall be one of the celebrity judges on that show. Celebrities will come on the show and I shall judge them.

Rockhopper's new salary in his capacity as judge will be in the high six figures. I was able to arrange this thanks to my lucrative new career stealing human organs and reselling them on the black market overseas.

cleome's human organs received a very high rating in the latest issue of Consumer Reports (February '11 - "The Freshness Factor: What You Should Know Before Buying That New Liver"). Her pancreases and spleens were especially praised.

Quote

Originally posted by cleome:
future king and I are starring in our own reality show this fall on CBS. It'll be called, So You Really Think You Can Sing And Dance Like Shatner?

I've already signed all of my necessary paperwork with the network executives. A couple of your signatures are required as well. We're "green lit" for a fall 2011 premiere.

I am now a majority shareholder in Monsanto. Food is now safe to eat again. Really.

I am not wondering which icon Kent Shakespeare will choose next.

The live action Legion movie has been green-lit. Playing Lightning Lad is Keanu Reeves. Paris Hilton will be Saturn Girl. Cosmic Boy will be played by Sylvester Stallone. Mike "the Situation" Sorrentino has agreed to be Brainiac 5.

The villain will be the Omen and the Prophet.

^I'm portraying Omen.

When an actor's profile on Internet Movie Database lists no spouse or any clue of a personal life, I never assume that said actor is gay.

I am NOT in favor of any manned spaceflights, until the Vulcans come and show us how it's done.

Quote

Originally posted by future king:

Quote

Originally posted by cleome:
[b] future king and I are starring in our own reality show this fall on CBS. It'll be called, So You Really Think You Can Sing And Dance Like Shatner?

I've already signed all of my necessary paperwork with the network executives. A couple of your signatures are required as well. We're "green lit" for a fall 2011 premiere. [/b]

I'll be over to sign as soon as I complete the crash diet that the network helpfully arranged for me. Not to worry! The staff physician assures me that six weeks of nothing but mineral water, saltines, and a "cleansing regimen" involving capsules filled with tapeworms is a perfectly safe way to achieve that perfect "Size 0" figure!

Cleome, That staff physician is a quack! You do realize these days everyone in Hollywood is on the "Ron Karr" diet.

FDA Approved "Unstable Atkin Molecule Waffers" and "Radioactive Acutrim Pasta" With 8 glasses of Acciberry Water" daily for a guaranteed size -5 or less.

Good Luck.

Jim Parsons was just signed to play Blok in the live-action Legion movie.

I'm not still in my PJs.

Lardy wears Josie and the Pussycat jammies. The bottom has a tail.

What? A tail? Mine had no tail. Lardy where did u get yours?

after just a week of working out, I've got a righteous six-pack...

I won't regret any of tonight's posts in the morning.

Once in a while I like to enjoy old Hannah Montana reruns on TV.

I'm going to wear my pajamas to work on Monday. Just to see if anyone actually notices.

Pretending you can speak French when you can't is the easiest way ever to impress people with your sophistication. Je la peppi ala fwa?

I'm going to show up to work on my off day today.

I just love watching anything to do with Gossip Girl!

Mattropolis is a paid spokesman for Pepsi Throwback™. Follow his ad campaign on FB and Twitter! The Vegas chorus "girl" ad clip (special guest endorsement by a computer-generated Liberace) is my favorite.

I have bigger boobs than Jessica Simpson.

I'm a bigger boob than Fred Phelps.

(Sorry. Couldn't resist.)

In high school I was voted most likely to marry rich and sleep with the gardener.

I am very excited about the next season of "Survivor".

I have a new job where I do next to nothing and pull in a six-figure salary.

I am such a space hussy!

I am not very excited about the next season of "Survivor."

In my new job everybody hates me.

I'm going to be on the next season of "Survivor".

I really, truly care about the Kardashian sisters and all their various happenings.

I will be taking my mint copy of DC All New Collectors Edition. C#55 to the show "Pawn Stars" hope I get a good deal. :rolleyes:

The Commonwealth of Pennsylvania is moving their capital from Harrisburg to Intercourse.

"The Bachelor" series is my all-time favourite artistic creation in the entertainment industry.

Quote

Originally posted by Rockhopper Lad:
I am such a space hussy!

Yeah, I've heard that about you from all the other posters.

Snow is God's dandruff.

I wish it were snowing here right now!

I just LOVE cleaning and shovelling snow off my car and the driveway at 7:30 in the morning when I'm rushing to leave for work.

I feel pretty. Oh so pretty.

My neighbour's dog is smarter than most people I know.

I am suave, cool, and debonair.

I have it on good authority that rickshaw1 is really rickshaw2.

Lies, All Lies! I'm actually Napolean the First! No,I am! No, I'm Napolean!

^ Zat Napoleon iz ...how you say? ... AN IMPOSTOR! I am ze REAL NAPOLEON BONAPARTE!

Ah! you're all crazy. Now excuse me while I go write the Declaration of Independence.

I zold Louisiana to ^ zat man.

clickety clack snickety snack, Johnny appleseed wants his snack....

I believe Ram Boy, because he's actually speaking with a French accent, or, as we call it these days, a Freedom accent.

That whole "freedom fries" thing was a great idea. We should also call sauerkraut "liberty cabbage".

Fries aren't fattening, and Napoleon pastries aren't, either.

Not that it matters to me anyway, because I hate to eat.

I absolutely love anything with strawberries in it!

Strawberries derive their name from the fact that kings of yore had long decreed that berries could only be consumed by sucking them through a straw. It was a difficult, time consuming procedure, and many a peasant passed out before they could accomplish it.

The law was abolished in 1145 by King Beauregard the Sensible.

King Beauregard the Sensible reigned over Lithuania, Latvia, Lesotho, Liberia, Lebanon, Lisbon, Louisiana, Louisville, Long Beach, Las Vegas, Laredo, Lubbock and Ljubljana.

"Long Island Iced Tea" was invented by...

Click Here For A SpoilerSteve Allen!

Steve Allen was a direct descendant of King Beauregard the Sensible.

It was from King Beauregard the Sensible that Steve Allen inherited the breadbox that served as his frame of reference for the size of objects.

If we were on Facebook, I definitely wouldn't like the above comment.

I am very glad that so few people appreciate the genius of Steve Allen, John Daly, Arlene Francis, Dorothy Kilgallen and Bennet Cerf. What's My Line was so overrated!

Paulie Shore gave a tour de force performance as Don Corleone in the Godfather.

Paulie Shore is the single most underrated actor of this or any generation, ever!

I really love King of the Hill, the tv show.

Few people realize that King of the Hill is actually a documentary.

Richard Simmons has just been cast as the lead in the upcoming "King Of The Hill" live action movie.

Richard Simmons has his own hair.

I hate Legion World!

I love it when 3 employees (all from the same department) call in sick on the same day. There goes my day off!

The career counselor and I both agree that I'm management material, all the way, Baby!

Yellow snow is loaded with vitamins C & P

Vitamin P is very important, because it prevents bananabanana.

Standing outside, naked, in below 0 degree weather for approximately 18 minutes prolongs your life by 10 years.

I am a right-wing conservative nut.

My headache's gone.

Lindsay Lohan is my favorite singer

I've got a brand new pair of roller skaes. You have a brand new key.

Quote

Originally posted by rickshaw1:
I am a right-wing conservative nut.

I am not at all tempted to turn this into a jest.

My cat is such a dull. mindless pet.

Quote

Originally posted by future king:
My cat is such a dull. mindless pet.

Mine too!

The above posts confirm my bias that cats are useless pets.

Natives of Greenland worship Tony Randall as a god.

Matt Bomer from White Collar is the least sexy person on Earth.

I not only know who Matt Bomer is, but I also know what White Collar is.

Every morning I go out to my backyard where I pick my own, home-grown coffee beans. I then grind them up myself and brew them into delicious coffee which I then share with my wife.

I am Juan Valdez, hugh thoughtless man...stealing food from the mouths of my cousins in columbia growing your own beans, processing them, enjoying them... I hooooupe you are HAPPY!

Thanks JV. Want a cup of fresh coffee?

I love just sitting on my butt waiting to make calls for business. Nice, relaxing time to sit and wait and wait and wait....

mr_cleome wishes me to express that as a self-employed man himself, he believes that rickshaw1 is lying his head off in the above post.

Quoth he: "Why, sitting around all day hoping clients will call back and then come in with a check is what's the most fun fun fun!"

Thank You.

If you read their posts carefully, you'll come to the inescapable conclusion that cleome and rickshaw1 are having a torrid psychic affair!

My psyche is rebounding from when Ram Boy's psyche dumped mine for a psyche with much bouncier pecs.

Dear sweet cleome needs to know this:

Bittersweet Memories
That is all I'm taking with me
So good-bye
Please don't cry
We both know I'm not what you neeheeheeheed

AndIIIIIIIheeIIIIIII will always psychically love youuuuuuhooIIIIIII will always psychically youuuuuhooohooo.

I know that left not a dry eye on the entire LMB.

[snif!]

Quote

Originally posted by Ram Boy:
Dear sweet cleome needs to know this:

Bittersweet Memories
That is all I'm taking with me
So good-bye
Please don't cry
We both know I'm not what you neeheeheeheed

AndIIIIIIIheeIIIIIII will always psychically love youuuuuuhooIIIIIII will always psychically youuuuuhooohooo.

I am emotionally drained by this passionate song's intensity.

I just went back and counted all the lies I told in this thread, as well as in the previous Lies thread. Pretty impressed with myself. Yup.

The overwhelming response to my cover of John Tesh's cover of Dolly Parton's & Vince Gill's cover of Whitney Houston's cover of Dolly Parton's hit single "I Will Always Love You" has encouraged me to quit my day job and focus on becoming an international singing sensation.

I've decided to also quit my day job in order to become Ram Boy's manager as he takes his one man show entitled " Ramming You And Your City " on the road.

I'm designing the promotional logo that's gonna' adorn all the limited run CDs, T-Shirts, bumper stickers, travel mugs, enameled pins, and prophylactics associated with the tour!

My singing career is going so well, I've decided it's time to start doing massive amounts of drugs and get into slappy fights with my tour manager and logo designer.

After all, I'M A GOLDEN GOD and they just don't get my DIVINE VISION!

I wore out the grooves in all my Ram Boy LPs by listening to them again and again and again.

It hasn't snowed in Boston at all. We have just been putting on footage of past winters.

On the other hand, Houston has had so much snow, we haven't seen the ground since November.

The average yearly snowfall on Jamaica's Mt Marley is 24 inches give or take take 24 inches.

Rumor has it that Santa Claus has moved to Jamaica.

The "extinct" Dodo bird is not actually extinct. I've actually been hoarding the entire race, in my basement naturally.

So the dodo is truly the bird of the future.

Our future king may very well be a dodo.

Well, our past president certainly wasn't.

Quote

Originally posted by Ram Boy:
Our future king may very well be a dodo.

Can you see into my livingroom???

If I'm of a race that evolved from penguins, then it makes sense for Future Lad to be a dodo.

Future "Lad"? .... I take no responsibility for any allegations he might have of me being his sire.

I didn't just eat a bag of chocolate truffles

Chocoholics can relax! A single bag of chocolate truffles has only 62 calories (62 calories?! That's NOTHING!) and contains enough vitamins and minerals to power up a herd of sleepy brontosauruses!

My next door neightbours' yard doesn't look like a herd of 100 brontosauruses live there.

I didn't intend to write "Future King" in my post above. He's changing his name to "Future Lad" anyway!

Those jeans do make your arse look big.

I am really looking forward to this snowstorm tomorrow!

Quote

Originally posted by Quislet, Esq:
Those jeans do make your arse look big.

That's what I was hoping for!

I can see for miles and miles and miles and...

I am a highly desirable dinner companion.

My milkshakes bring all the boys to the yard.

Every muscle in my body isn't aching from all that shovelling I did yesterday (and a little bit more this morning).

I have no plans to drink later today

I'm a right royal rowdy rollickin' riotous type of fellow.

The sweats I wear to the gym say "JUICY" on the butt.

I admire RamBoy's butt at the gym

1) I admire people who wear sweats at the gym.

2) I actually go to a gym.

All usage of the number 69 was recently banned by the International Institute of Decency in Mathematics.

Replacing it will be "60+10-1"

I will be on the next season of Jersey Shores. My tag will be Q-dog!

I have tons more class than those blasted Guidettes from Jersey Shore.

I'm totally psyched to hear Q-dog's new slang for a hot guy...

Q-dog was my nickname in high school.

I gave Kent his high school nickname. The Q stood for queasy...he always got sick at chess club. The pressure of which pawn to push was to much for him!

Quote

Originally posted by SharkLad:
I'm totally psyched to hear Q-dog's new slang for a hot guy...

He's a shark! A real shark!

I saw a purple cow.
I hope to see a green one.
But I can tell you anyhow,
I'd rather be than see one.

I just arrived in Cairo and the weather and people are so warm and friendly. Everyone's running around all happy and excited. Nice!

I am stepping down as dictator of Bermuda.

I am raising an army to take over the local twinkie factory.

Mixing ammonia and bleach results in a super cleaning agent with absolutely no harmful side effects.

Trepanation is a GOOD thing!

I followed Quiz's recipe for super cleanser and must say that my house has never been more spotless or smelled more like a field of dewy lavender.

My new alt is named Dewey Lavender.

I am very sad that Green Bay won the Superbowl yesterday.

The most talked about commercial from last night's Superbowl will undoubtedly be the one for Legion World featuring cleome, future king, Rocky and the Legion World Choir.

"Glee" is devoting an episode to the music of Oingo Boingo...

On February 30th Apple is giving away free Iphones, Ipads, and Macs. No limit to how many you can take.

After the episode featuring the music of Oingo Boingo Glee will next do an episode devoted to the 1980 movie "Caligula".

Yep, that Caligula.

I am now ready to begin my new career as a drug dealer. If I get enough girls who don't look like Ernest Borgnine hooked, I'll branch out to become a pimp.

Quote

Originally posted by future king:
After the episode featuring the music of Oingo Boingo Glee will next do an episode devoted to the 1980 movie "Caligula".

Yep, that Caligula.

and after that, the 1976 movie "Alice in Wonderland, an X-Rated Musical Fantasy."

Joan Rivers has just been cast as the sexy blonde one for the next Charlie's Angels remake.

He Who has just been cast as Tigorr in the new On-Broadway Smash hit... Thundercats... Ho's!

Now that the Egyptian presidency has become available Carrot Top has offered to leave his gig in Vegas to come to the land of pharaohs and bring order to the land.

Someone should tell him that while it looks like the interior of the Luxor casino, it's actually a country on its own.

I'm North America's biggest fan of both Carrot Top and Joan Rivers.

I just picked up the new Justin Bieber CD and it is so amazing I was dancing my a_ _ off!

Bieber-Haters be forewarned! My highly attuned psychic abilities tells me that Justin Bieber will be elected president in the year 2040. Furthermore, future President Bieber will be the first president to sing his state of the union address and will also colonize the moon (which will be renamed The Big Bieber in his honor).

Stress has had no effect on my ability to get a full night's sleep. Nor have the lengthening days-- with their tendency to make the cats tear around the house earlier each day in search of their morning meal.

I'm so happy for Justin Bieber for all his success. I think we have the next Elvis-in-the-making happening here!

I had actually heard a Bieber song before one was performed on Glee the other night. I didn't fast-forward through the second.

That isn't more Bieber than I've (knowingly) heard.

I sent Justin Bieber a fried PB&B sandwich cut into the shape of a heart yesterday. He just means that much to me.

I'm not at all expecting an announcement out of Bieber in about 15 years similar to the one Ricky Martin made last year.

I have no idea what Rocky's referring to in the above post.

Well, I for one look forward to his growth into a mature and well-adjusted young adult, following in the footsteps of other teen idols such as Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, and Miley Cyrus.

I care very much about the three celebs EDE mentioned above.

I love Valentine's Day. It's my favorite holiday. It never makes me feel depressed or lonely.

I really love how it's back to being cold and snowy again after 2 nice mild days in a row.

I hate getting a seat on the subway.

I had a fantastic day at work today

I love that it's going to dump another 15 - 20cm of snow tonight in the GTA. I love winter!

I'm such a morning person!

I can't wait to go outside and shovel all this 20cm of snow we got hit with overnight!

vacation sucks!

I despise Girl Scout cookies, especially tagalongs and do-si-dos.

Being broke for two or three weeks straight is fun!

Today on the grand jury we indicted Kim Kardashian for crimes against humanity.

Ice cream sucks, especially cinnamon crumb cake ice cream in a waffle bowl with rainbow sprinkles...

I just bought the new Rush Limbaugh diet and nutrition book... I'm sure to shed those unwanted pounds now!

I'm not looking forward to going to Toronto on Sunday.

I'm overjoyed that I'm heading home from vacation!!!

The winner for Best Picture at this year's Oscars will be this.

Dalmatians were bred specifically to ride bikes by noted dog-breeder Hans Dalma. He wanted to put poodle breeders out of business and figured this was the best way go about it.

He really disliked poodles.

Poodles are the only breed of dogs that have opposable thumbs, which is why you often find them cruising in rest stop bathrooms ...

My next door neighbor has no curtains or blinds in his window. He is an International Male catalog model. He likes to exercise in the nude. I never watch.

I already miss having the loaner car I've had the past two weeks.

Quote

Originally posted by Quislet, Esq:
My next door neighbor has no curtains or blinds in his window. He is an International Male catalog model. He likes to exercise in the nude. I never watch.

What percentage of this is actually a lie?

My online art relocation project isn't taking that long. There have been no complications, money issues, or spontaneous Photoshop meltdowns involved, either.

Quote

Originally posted by cleome:

Quote

Originally posted by Quislet, Esq:
[b] My next door neighbor has no curtains or blinds in his window. He is an International Male catalog model. He likes to exercise in the nude. I never watch.

What percentage of this is actually a lie? [/b]

It is 100% true. No lie!

I truly believe that were I a more virtuous, Godly woman, I could return Quislet, Esq. to the path of righteousness so he'd stop spending so much time looking out the apartment window.

I just had the greatest moment of my life at the gym!

I'm flush with money and life is rollin'.

It is prudent money management to cut out all social services while keeping taxes low for the wealthy. It will have no detrimental effects in the future.

The servants are in the main house washing the dishes, while I ogle our latest virile young poolboy and wait for my third Mai Tai to arrive from the kitchen. I've been waiting a whole four-and-a-half minutes, too! Tsk!

I'm so glad we live in a country where millions of dollars are spent in building stadiums where people watch grown men play games while the public schools and public libraries starve for money.

Yeah, me, too!

Plus, I know all this grovelling and begging I'm doing in a futile attempt to get Unemployment will build my character and make me a better person. It's so much better than just actually having the effing State give me the damn $120 a week already!

This board is such a drag.

I couldn't agree more, I hate this board!

I got slooshed on green beer tonight.

I'm drunk as a skunk right now myself.

Pigs just flew over my house.

I totally can't stand this warm weather.

Nothing lifts one's spirits on a crummy day quite like a sudden hailstorm!

I think it's really great that Justin Bieber got his own, life-sized, wax statue.

I had a really good, restful nights sleep.

I didn't sleep well at all.

Job searching is fun fun fun. Each and every week. Yup. More fun. Fun off the scale fun. Tra la la la la fun.

Yes, SIR. Fun.

I also had a great 7-8 hours of sleep last night.

Alfred Lord Tennyson once spent 17 years awake.

I'm not doing a post whorgy.

My doctoral thesis will be centered on the later works of Tennyson. Either that, or the later works of Barbara Cartland. I'm still deciding.

Bodily functions do not freak me out. That's why I never joke about them.

Bodily functions DO freak ME out, that's why I ALWAYS joke about them!

I did not write my senior paper in college on Tennyson.

I did not wrote my senior paper on paper.

Nothing makes me prouder to be an American than the local wits making funny ha-has about how the Japanese deserved the disaster because of Pearl Harbor.

:rolleyes:

Quote

Originally posted by rickshaw1:
I'm not doing a post whorgy.

I had not noticed that.

My mind is as clear and focused today as I could ever want it to be. Yup.

I am the alt id of Ric...so he is just having a post war with himself.

I had actually thought of Ajax the Super-Goat as something other than a throwaway gag name before the "Octopi" thread.

My diet is working...

Charlie Sheen is my baby's daddy!

I love this freak snow storm we got today!

It's great fun to get my comics news from websites that are so overloaded with ads and other crap that they disrupt my internet connection.

I changed someone's mind today.

I wish it would have dumped more snow yesterday than it did. I wonder if there's any way I could order more!

Everything really IS coming up roses!

Shake Weights really work. Just look at my 8-pack abs!

Shake Weights make me want to stop working out forever.

I'm just rollin' in money right now.

I'm more optimistic than I have ever been in my life!

There's nothing obscene about royal weddings and other vacuous celebrity spend-a-thons in the current economic climate.

Please, Elites. Steal more of our money and throw it away again on lavish parties to which we, the peasants, will never, ever be invited. We love it!

Speak for yourself. My BFF Wills invited me personally to his up coming nuptials. I'm not sure what would be the best wedding present - matching Snuggies or his & her Shake Weights.

I enjoy having so many bills show up in the mail. Its fun to work all day and get home to work even longer.

Quote

Originally posted by cleome:
There's nothing obscene about royal weddings and other vacuous celebrity spend-a-thons in the current economic climate.

Please, Elites. Steal more of our money and throw it away again on lavish parties to which we, the peasants, will never, ever be invited. We love it!

Oh shoot, and I was just about to mail you the Royal Wedding Registration Form so you could purchase your gift for the couple on-line!

It's warm and toasty again here in SC.

I'm so proud of GE for making $5.1 billion in profits last year, and even better -- paying zero taxes. (Oh, what's that? A $3.2 billion tax credit? Hurray!)

I love working on the weekends! Not only do I have to work all day today but I have to start at 7:30 in the morning tomorrow, on a Sunday.
Hurray!

I'm completely motivated to catch up on everything I've been lagging behind in today...

Quote

Originally posted by future king:
I love working on the weekends! Not only do I have to work all day today but I have to start at 7:30 in the morning tomorrow, on a Sunday.
Hurray!

Work is so glorious that we'd do it for free if we all weren't so shallow.

Quote

Originally posted by SharkLad:
I'm completely motivated to catch up on everything I've been lagging behind in today...

Not me.

No, wait...me too!

Darn, how does one follow a lie with a lie? It's all so convoluted.

No, wait...it's so easy!

[headache....]

legion tracker and future king annoy the hell outta me.

Yeah? Well you're dull as dishwater, Buddy!

cleome and rickshaw1 are so pedestrian in their posts. Makes me yawn.

I really dislike all the people on this thread. I have no interest in making them smile, or reading their posts to me ME smile (and often howl out load) and answer me or anything like that ... and because I would rather be doing anything else but be here.

And I sure as heck would NOT kiss them all if I ever met them in person one day!

That last part of future king's post makes me feel so...manly.

Quote

Originally posted by Legion Tracker:
That last part of future king's post makes me feel so...manly.

Oh, and being of European decent I would definately NOT want to shower my beloved friends (man or woman) with affection because life's too short. Just won't happen... nope, no way. Not this cowboy!

future king is obviously a terrible friend, and I hope to avoid him in the future.

I for one have never kissed another man!

Quote

Originally posted by Rockhopper Lad:
I for one have never kissed another man!

I totally believe you!

All you people annoy me endlessly.

I've kissed every man on this board.

rickshaw1 is the Lindbergh baby!

The odds of my finding work by 4/1 are much better than my odds of achieving 14,000 posts by 4/1.

They play all the best TV shows on Sunday nights.

That's wonderful, cleome!

[...dagnabbit, future king, I tripped over you again!]

My collaborative cookbook: 1,001 Delicious Grapefruit Recipes (co-authored with Rockhopper Lad) is now the top-selling book on Amazon.com!

Future King and Legion Tracker haven't added much to this board.

I love grapefruit! I start each day with a big, tall glass of yummy grapefruit juice!

I love all permutations of liver even more than Rocky loves grapefruit. I am planning on inventing the Liver Smoothie next week.

A Liver and Grapefruit Smoothie bar would be a great franchise endeavor.

Borders plans on purchasing LT's franchise idea as part of its brilliant strategy to avoid Chapter 11.

Sunday night is my favorite time of the week

I am a sober and serious individual, who would never sing a supermarket jingle out loud while the cats were playing in a brown paper shopping bag from that selfsame market.

I am not a ... THREAD HIJACKER!!!

I have nothing to post.

Nothing plus something is still nothing.

It's impossible to post in this space.

The space that I'm posting in right now is grey.

I can cause atoms to split... just by "Ppppharting" in their general direction!

I wish I could do that.

The sun is shining and the temperatures are balmy. Yup. Can't wait to go outside.

I'm picking Cleome up later to go for a waterside supper with riparian entertainments.

I'm not jealous of Cleome's and Rocky's date

I am happy to see that my Grand Jury duty is coming to an end. I was miserable for the entire 3 months.

I wish someone would summon me for jury duty!

Having 5 general elections in 7 years is great. Congrats Canada.

I prefer the US system, where the mega-rich and their league of inbred, chronically self-absorbed enforcers never, ever stop running.

I had way too much sleep last night so I'm not the least bit sleepy right now.

I'm not at all sleee...eee...pppp.....yyy....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

James Buchanan has announced that he will be running for President in 2012. He does not think that being dead for 150 years will turn off voters.

Hasn't he already been President once?

Yes, but he was president for only one term, so he's still eligible to run.

Grover or Cleveland? Which one was pres twice, with a nice break in between?

Oooooohhhh... new thread....

James Buchanan's first term went so well, I don't blame him for wanting to run again.

Quote

Originally posted by rickshaw1:
Grover or Cleveland? Which one was pres twice, with a nice break in between?

Oooooohhhh... new thread....

well, Rick, I think it was both Grover and Cleveland.

Legion Trackers post total reboots to 0 after this month.

Doesn't everyone's??????

When Grover was President, the State of the Union address began "Helloooooo, Everybodeeeeeeeeeeee! This is your old pal, Grover!"

Grover's cabinet included Oscar Le Grouch as Secretary of Sanitation.

I thought James Buchanan was ineligible to run because of the Amendment prohibiting gay Presidents.

The Amendment prohibiting gay presidents was repealed right after the one banning flag burning.

Quote

Originally posted by Rockhopper Lad:
When Grover was President, the State of the Union address began "Helloooooo, Everybodeeeeeeeeeeee! This is your old pal, Grover!"

I have no idea what Rocky's post is referring to here.

This despite the fact that I'm an expert on U.S. History.

Quote

Originally posted by Legion Tracker:

Quote

Originally posted by rickshaw1:
[b]Grover or Cleveland? Which one was pres twice, with a nice break in between?

Oooooohhhh... new thread....

well, Rick, I think it was both Grover and Cleveland. [/b]

A new THREAD in THAT MAN'S hands is a dangerous weapon of mass destruction! LOL

I'm the new lead singer in the freshly reunited Urge Overkill.

Thanks to having had 45% of my body removed by liposuction yesterday, fitting into the proper-sized pants should be no problem.

I'm the new lead singer of Van Halen.

Patty Smyth, eat your heart out.

I'm the new singer Prince, formerly known as Legion Tracker. (I know how to use real alphabet letters....)

I feel SO involved and in-the-know when you Amerikanos start talkin' about your political goings on. Truly!

I'm the new lead singer of the Pixies combined with the B-52's, called the Bixies.

I hijacked a band and renamed them Drive-By Trackers.

I'm the last living member of that Rocking 80's band "Smoke'em If You Got Them." *Cough* Those were the days "sigh". *Cough*

I think libraries are a waste of taxpayers' money. They serve no useful purpose. Everything's online now and everyone owns a computer.

The woman clothed in red who is holding a cup and on the back of a great beast depicted on the package of Tension Tamer herbal tea is obviously supposed to represent the Whore of Babylon.

I was known as Mr. Big in another timeline. It's not what you think.

It was nice to see the snow today. And it wasn't that awful light powdery stuff, but the heavy wet snow that feels like concrete when you shovel it. I wish Winter and snow could last just a little bit longer.

I'm sorry it didn't rain for the fifth day in a row.

I definately don't have to get up early for work tomorrow or anything!

Marvel & DC have agreed to a character swap. Hawkeye will come to DC & Green Arrow will go to Marvel.

I care very much about both Hawkeye and Green Arrow.

And Colossal Boy is going to the Avengers.

The entire Legion is moving over to Marvel (oh that's right they already ARE there in the form of the Shi'ar Imperial Guard).

I'm fully confident that Axel Alonso will be a better Marvel EiC than Joe Quesada.

Has heard that Ambush Bug will be DC's answer to Wolverine (or Spidey) and join every team published by the company.

I don't like olives.

I don't like bread dipped in olive oil.

Sen. Joseph McCarthy was a great American who did nothing for his own personal aggrandizement.

Walt Kelly never caricatured Joseph McCarthy as a racist fascist bastard in "Pogo."

Walt Kelly opened his amusement park, Kellyland, in Pasadena, California on July 16, 1955. A couple days later Walt Disney opened Disneyland across the street.

Kelly was pretty bitter about it.

Some members on this site a really nice, and also subtle.

It is so horrible that at 6:30 it was still light out.

I hate bugging Richshaw1!

I think capitalism is such a great economic system. It's so fair to everyone and in no way rewards those who engage in immoral, dishonest, selfish behavior.

I disagree with the above post!

I hope it snows some more...

I couldn't figure out how to find this thread again, so it will have to stay hidden back on Page 6 forever.

I'm very sad that this thread made it back on page 1!

sex is overrated

I need another chocolate bar tonight.

I'm king of the world!

Quote

Originally posted by SharkLad:
sex is overrated

Until I read this post, I'd gotten through the last seven days without thinking about sex at all, even once!

Quote

Originally posted by future king:
I need another chocolate bar tonight.

BTW, chocolate is also overrated and I never think about it, either.

I cannot get to the record store fast enough to buy the new Jennifer Lopez cd!

I can name a song Jennifer Lopez has recorded.

I bought 5 copies of JLo's CD.

Quote

Originally posted by cleome:

Quote

Originally posted by SharkLad:
[b] sex is overrated

Until I read this post, I'd gotten through the last seven days without thinking about sex at all, even once![/b]

Sex is something you outgrow after age 35.

Sex loses it's appeal after the first time, unless it's with Jennifer Lopez playing in the background.

I'm not at all angry at my last temp agency for throwing me out like trash with no explanation after I gave them reliable work for almost two years straight. Nope. I don't want them all to fry in hell or anything like that. No hard feelings.

And I love emailing them every week asking if they'll give me some work again. It's great for my self-esteem, endlessly begging for the time of day from people who clearly don't give a rat's [bleep]. Yup.

Much like like a Jlo CD, cleome's preceding post is actually pretty danceable when auto-tuned-

Ba-ba-ba-baby,
I'm not at all ah-angry
at my la-la-last temp ah-agency
For throwing me out like tah-rash
(with no explanation)
after I gave them
after I gave them
reliable work
for almost two years,
for almost two years str8.
No-No-Nope

I would definately buy the previous post's full album when it comes out.

It is illegal in Massachusetts to affect a French accent.

Quote

Originally posted by Ram Boy:
Much like like a Jlo CD, cleome's preceding post is actually pretty danceable when auto-tuned-

Ba-ba-ba-baby,
I'm not at all ah-angry
at my la-la-last temp ah-agency
For throwing me out like tah-rash
(with no explanation)
after I gave them
after I gave them
reliable work
for almost two years,
for almost two years str8.
No-No-Nope

Ram Boy has inspired my new career: Professional J-Lo impersonator! I just hope that I can afford his agent fees, too.

Also, I really hope it pours down rain all day today, because I hate doing yard work and being outside.

I'm a happy bunny.

I hope it continues to rain all this week with no sunny breaks in between.

Ice cream is disgusting.

The pending job interview is not making me a nervous wreck right now.

I am very excited about who the winner was in this season's America's Next Top Model!

Boobies are gross!

Boobies are so last year!

I am soooooo ready for the Rapture this evening.

It's very generous of the agency to invite me back to work with a mere 50-cent-per-hour cut in pay. Yeah, there's a place for them in Heaven, for sure...

I care about Christina Aguillera as an artist, host of her own show, and person as a whole.

Donald Trump would make a swell president. But only if he has Keith Olbermann as his VP.

I do not have a long form birth certificate.

The chicken wings and pizza I scarfed down for dinner aren't wrecking havoc on my gut right now.

I just totally faith healed future king via the internet.

And now I must admonish him for his poor eating habits (for shame, future king, for shame). Because after internet faith healing, judgey-type nagging is what I do best.

Quote

Originally posted by Ram Boy:
I just totally faith healed future king via the internet.

And now I must admonish him for his poor eating habits (for shame, future king, for shame). Because after internet faith healing, judgey-type nagging is what I do best.

You and my wife should shake hands!

The people who make Dunkin' Donuts are doing the devil's work

Dunkin' Donuts makes the best fat-free donuts I ever tasted!

I'm so happy they're building more Dunkin' Donuts around here and am so glad all the Krispy Kreme shops closed.

I have never heard of this "Dunkin'
Donuts"

I never heard of Krispy Kreme! Mmmmmm - mmmmmm Oh, sorry!!

When I see my high school friends post about things that they're doing in the little town in Florida where I lived when I was a teenager, I always think "Gee, I wish I still lived there!"

I did NOT just eat so much food that I had to loosen my pants in order to sit down in a dignified manner.

Red China is clearly behind the pro-public healthcare movement in Vermont. Bomb 'em, I say. Clear back to the Stone Age. This evil must be nipped in the bud or the next thing you know we'll have... fairness or something.

Also, I'm glad none of the so-called "news" providers that I use for email could be arsed to put this news on their main page. Heaven knows, it was much more important to hear ad nauseum about Oprah's first day off and see the First Lady's diamonds and all that other stuff.

I have not become a total crack whore to my Blackberry phone.

I had the most awesome weekend ever!!!

An undiagnosed case of Restless Leg Syndrome is the real reason Richard M Nixon resigned from the presidency.

I love having to work two 11 hour work days back to back!

An undiagnosed case of jock itch caused Arnold Schwarzenegger to stray

The correct garnish for the classic martini is a giant dill pickle.

Anything else is simply vulgar.

There isn't about 10 great movies playing at the cinema right now that I want to see but can't!

The Visa Corporation and I have such a pleasant, harmonious relationship. I'm thinking of writing an ode to them and then setting it to music.

Being surrounded with all the current Kardashians news/info really makes my life so rewarding that I truly feel blessed.

I am about to have plastic surgery to make myself look like Kim Kardashian. Then I am going to take her place because her life is just so thrilling and interesting.

I admire Anthony Weiner.

Eating radioactive cherries will give you the proportional strength of George Washington.

I am seriously considering quitting my current job in order to pursue a career as Selina Gomez's personal assistant/manager.

I will not be taking advantage of this perfect Spring day by going on a bike ride for the first time in a million years.

Also, I will not wear a bike helmet.

cleome would look just like Kim Kardashian if she wore a bike helmet while not bicycling.

I'd be a happy man if I could vacuum all day

I look really good in anything brown.

I also look good in brown. Yellow and orange are also good colors for me.

I got so much important stuff accomplished today!

Quote

Originally posted by Legion Tracker:
I admire Anthony Weiner.

We all do, LT. We all do.

I don't have anything special planned today for mine and my honey's 16 year wedding anniversary!

The 45 behind cleome's name stands for the 45 different ways she can kill a man using only her thumbs.

I'm so looking forward to my dental appointment.

I could easily perform Rocky's dental procedure as I'm licensed to perform dentistry in the Philippine Islands, Botswana, the Vatican City*, and parts of Prince Edward Island.

*License pending approval by the Holy Council of Heavenly Smiles.

Unfortunately, my procedure has been scheduled for a part of Prince Edward Island where Rammy is not licensed to practice.

It was revealed today that Betty White is actually a man.

... and is 35.

I'm really glad 'Red Robin' didn't make the relaunch cut

... I cannot wait to see how DC will ef up continuity with this "much-awaited" retooling of the franchise in August!

Failed relationships are no big deal.

The weeds growing on my neighbor's side of my fence are quite charming...

I love watching "how to" videos whenever I buy a new tech item!

I do NOT like Adele's new hit Rolling in the Deep.

Cut roses last forever if you put bleach in the vase instead of water.

I'm buying my wife flowers from Quis's flower shop for our next anniversary!

It's obvious that Fubar King doesn't like his wife.

I am not F_*@$ed Up Beyond All Replair!

My wife does not keep our house in the deep south at temperatures cold enough to store meat.

No one ever posts on LW using alts.

Quote

Originally posted by Time-Teller Lad:
No one ever posts on LW using alts.

Of course they don't.

I've got a brand new pair of roller skates. You have a brand new key.

The expression "seven-year itch" refers to the way one feels after a seven-year "dry spell".

I really don't have to get up super early tomorrow so I should be on here posting instead of sleeping.

My cooking is lousy. Even I can't actually eat what I cook.

The way idiot Vancouverites are behaving after a hockey game makes me so proud to be Canadian right now!

Stupid losers with too much time on their hands and no futures.
What I'd give for a ticket to B.C. and a rocket launcher right now!

Stupid a_ _ holes!!

As a Vancouverite and major hockey aficionado, I am deeply offended by future king's remark.

As a rocket launcher salesperson and part-time travel agent, I am not.

I am not rolling around on the floor laughing my a_ _ off after reading Ram Boy's post.

I've never understood the appeal of French fries.

I did not enjoy the new Green Lantern movie.

It was obvious from reading most of the reviews of the Green Lantern movie that many movie reviewers are familiar with the GL concept.

I feel so refreshed when I get up at 7am on a Sunday!

I did not really enjoy the new X-Men movie that I finally got around to see.

Watching X-Men movies will give you an STI

I actually know what an STI means.

Mary Shelley was going to originally call her novel "Dickenstein" from a suggestion of Lord Byron.

I am NOT counting down the days until my vacation in July!

All July vacations have been canceled by authority of The Council of Really Mean Bosses.

No more casual Fridays either.

Now get back to work.

I took everything that Ram Boy said to heart just now.

I hate working, but love to job search and interview.

I will not even slightly exaggerate my real life abilities at tomorrow's job interview. Nope.

I hope that the interviewer hates cleome and tells her to get lost.

Quis is helping me decide which Lady Gaga impersonator outfit I should wear to my interview tomorrow: the giant white Anime Ninja chicken or the one that's only three-inch red-feathered plastic mules and two strategically placed pink neon bar signs.

I just love, love, LOVE my annoyingly white avatar.

I really hate Ram Boy's avatar. It's so white.

Quis's avatar isn't creepy at all...

Shark Lad's avatar doesn't need a good dentist who enjoys a challenge.

Whenever I see future king's avatar, I cheerfully wave back.

I am NOT happy that my folks court case is finally done with and over. Six years is far too short a time for a case to run on.

Quote

Originally posted by rickshaw1:
I am NOT happy that my folks court case is finally done with and over. Six years is far too short a time for a case to run on.

Yeah, I hear ya.

I'm a bunny with a very clean mind.

No, I never eat dessert.

Until last week, Whitey Bulger was staying with me.

I am not cracking up from some of the things posted on LW.

I think this thread is boring and lacks color.

I'm currently sober.

New York voted down marriage equality for gay couples!

Quote

Originally posted by rickshaw1:
I am NOT happy that my folks court case is finally done with and over. Six years is far too short a time for a case to run on.

I doubt that rickshaw's porn 'stache had any affect on the outcome.

Quote

Originally posted by Quislet, Esq:
Until last week, Whitey Bulger was staying with me.

When I saw the recent headlines about Whitey Bulger, my first thought was "Man, are they still talking about Anthony Weiner?"

I really hate my new, temporary (maybe) name.

What I love most about my lawn is that it's self-mowing and self-weeding. I paid a little bit extra, but it was worth it.

Quote

Originally posted by Eryk Davis Ester:

Quote

Originally posted by Quislet, Esq:
[b]Until last week, Whitey Bulger was staying with me.

When I saw the recent headlines about Whitey Bulger, my first thought was "Man, are they still talking about Anthony Weiner?"[/b]

I did not LOL at this.

Gay marriage is now legal in Texas.

I hate all-you-can-eat buffets at Chinese restaurants.

*burp*
Oh, excuse me!

It's a lovely, cool evening here in Lake City, SC. A mild and moderate temperature, a nice light breeze, lovely. Not skin blisteringly hot at all.

The fireworks my neighbors are setting off right now are not startling me in the least.

I am not looking forward to enjoying the fourth of july this year with all the stress off my folks. and my Porn 'Stache power had nothing to do with it.

I am not looking forward to the Canada Day stat paid day off this coming Friday!

Whut's thet?

Quote

Originally posted by rickshaw1:
Whut's thet?

Everyone knows about thet. You must not because this not being the Lies, All Lies thread means that you are telling the truth.

My head does not ache from having composed that sentence. I did not write any of this post.

I am not sick and tired of summer construction already, slowing traffic down and making me late for appointments and work and stuff.

Oy Vey!

Whenever I pass a construction crew, I stick my head out the window, whistle and shout, "Hey fellas, that's some serious equipment you got there! Hubba-Hubba!"

Quote

Originally posted by Ram Boy:
Whenever I pass a construction crew, I stick my head out the window, whistle and shout, "Hey fellas, that's some serious equipment you got there! Hubba-Hubba!"

Psst... this is the Lies More Lies thread, not the Truths All Truths thread!

Quote

Originally posted by Quislet, Esq:

Quote

Originally posted by rickshaw1:
[b] Whut's thet?

Everyone knows about thet. You must not because this not being the Lies, All Lies thread means that you are telling the truth.

My head does not ache from having composed that sentence. I did not write any of this post. [/b]

That am not be so Bizzare-Oh!

I was the American National Spelling Bee Champion of 1994. I won by correctly spelling the word "floccinaucinihilipilification". It took me twenty minutes, but when I'd finished the crowd at Radio City Music Hall jumped to their feet and gave me a richly deserved standing ovation. That year's celebrity host, Meredith Vieira, wept with joy (as did musical guest Sting).

Since then, I've become a professional on the Pro-Spelling circuit and an occasional spokesperson for Post Alpha-Bits (Y-U-M!) cereal.

I know Ram Boy's telling the truth, because I was working as a peanut vendor at Radio City Music Hall that year.

I'm hating the weather here right now. Cool breezes and alternating light sun and rain absolutely suck.

Brother Power, the Gekk - The Movie has been greenlit by Warner Brothers. Charlie Sheen has been signed to play Brother Power. Roseanne Barr will be the love interest.

I love how not signalling before changing lanes or making a turn are in fashion right now!

I'm a very responsible bunny.

I eat responsible bunnies for breakfast!

I hope you get a tummy ache.

I am not looking forward to being on vacation in 4 days!

Quote

Originally posted by future king:
I love how not signalling before changing lanes or making a turn are in fashion right now!

Future King would hate me. I never use turn signals. I don't understand why people do.

I also love when people suddenly break and start to turn ... again without signalling first.
This is all adds to the overall very safe driving practices in society lately!

Good job <strike>lazy asses</strike> people!

I just talked to my attorney, and he assured me that my lawsuit against Justin Bieber's parents, voice coach and Canada is sure to be successful.

Especially if Bieber takes the stand.

This will be my last post ever on Legion World.

I am thrilled at the thought of cleome never posting again

If cleome flounces, then I will change my username to cleome45 II and continue where she left off.

Hopefully she will leave some instructions.

I will start laughing if cleome45 stops posting.

I am so sore from working out this morning for an hour

I am not still sore from a 2 and half hour workout yesterday.

None of you ever betrayed and murdered me in a past life!

I am not contemplating how many times Doc Mayavale has poked me.

The name "Fubar King" is awesome.
You guys really outdid yourselves this time!

I never touch barbecue.

Donald Trump and Rosie O'Donnell were caught in a love nest today. Kim Kardashian is suing them. Paris Hilton issued the following statement "Look at me! Look at me!"

I love, love, LOVE doing laundry!

I'm attending Rick Perry's little shindig here in Houston today.

I just cannot get enough of all this humidity!

I think I've finally saved enough money to get that tattoo of Doc Mayavale on my arse...

DoctorMayavale

Cars are easier to drive in reverse

Foolishly volunteering to work extra hours is the only mistake I've made all year.

I know my interview and test yesterday were both slam dunks, and anyway only about ten people showed up all day to apply for a thousand positions.

Yup. Nothing to do now but sit back and wait for the money and perks to start rolling in.

I don't laugh like a complete goofball when the cat runs from window to window to watch the crows, as they perch en masse on various branches and electrical wires to scold him at the tops of their lungs.

I stone the crows, regularly.

I ride the subway au naturale.

Quote

Originally posted by Quislet, Esq:
I ride the subway au naturale.

Ummm, this is a "Lies! More Lies!" thread.

Quote

Originally posted by Reboot:
I stone the crows, regularly.

Funny that...I GET stoned with crows all the time

Funny, I was the opening act for the Black Crowes and the Rolling Stones: Man-titty Overdrive!

I would definately go see a show where Man-Titty Overdrive Lardy was the opening act!

I agree with Nick.

My stomach's not killing me from eating to much pizza tonight!

I have not been fighting a headache all day.

I hate cheese.

I hate pizza!

I'm on a diet.

cleome's diet consists solely of delicately carved radish rosettes and sparkling glacier water imported from Antarctica.

I did not enjoy swimming today at all

I am not at all happy to have a day off after working six days straight.

The construction in my office building did not give me a headache today.

I'm finding it very easy to get sleepy tonight.

I wish I didn't leave Fort McMurray for a couple of days

I am really looking forward to going in to work today.

While Ram Boy's away on vacation in Vail, I'm borrowing his live-in vegetable cutter. What that gal can do with carrot curls and a few frilled toothpicks-- Ooh la la!

I am not completely enjoying all these cool new videos on Youtube.

I am not at all tired just now.

I'm not at all sleepy right now!

I woke up hours ago.

I had no fun here last night.

Nothing's bothering me today.

Quote

Originally posted by Dev - Em:
I had no fun here last night.

Neither did I.

I can't believe that the media bought my Hurricane Irene hoax.

I can't stand jazz piano.

I am very sleepy at the moment.

Focus on Family has issued a press release stating they have been wrong all along and will be disbanding.

Fresh vegetables are gross.

...and so is homemade granola.

I did not just overdo it again with the Swiss Chalet.

Swiss Chalet is the name of a defunct brand of crappy American yogurt.

I did not just have way too much pork souvlaki, Greek rice and Tzatziki sauce for dinner tonight!

I answered an e-mail from Mr. Robert Abatu from Nigeria. I then helped him transfer $10 billion out of Nigeria. I got to keep $3 billion. Just waiting for the check to clear.

There is a particular member of the Legion World Facebook group who would be absolutely no fun to have on Legion World proper.

I hate that I have the day off today!

Blackberry ice cream is gross!

It is very sunny and warm here this morning.

I am so looking forward to Monday rolling around!

All that music, food, wine, and dancing at the Greek Festival later today is gonna' suck. Maybe I'll just stay home.

The first Olympic Games were held in Athens in 62 million BC. Some of the more memorable sporting events of that day included the winged-horse steeplechase, cyclopes wrestling and, of course, virgins only figure skating.

Afterward, everyone chatted and feasted upon spanakopita aplenty and plenty of Goddess-of-the-MoonPies.

Humor is not subjective.

^ That's exactly what Zeppo said right before Groucho, Harpo and Chico kicked him to the curb.

My Hebrew name is Zeppo.

My Woodstock name is Zippo.

Purple bananas are the best!

I hate my iPhone! It's the worst purchase I've ever made!

I had an awesome time with these hot twins last night.

Okay, okay, I lied. They were triplets.

I am not having a fabulous time on vacation in beautiful St. John's Newfoundland.

In 2010 over 800 tourists disappeared while vacationing in St.John's Newfoundland.

It's a baffling mystery.

The St. Johns tourists in Canada fell into a highly localized wormhole and ended up in the St. Johns neighborhood in Portland.

I took them all out to lunch at the local Burgerville while we waited for the wormhole to disgorge their luggage.

I never dye my goatee. I particularly would never use Just For Men Medium Brown.

In Boston it is legal to punch a horse in its face. It is mandatory if you are wearing a kilt. If the horse is wearing a kilt, you are given the keys to the city.

The last man to punch a horse is actually my great-great-great-grandson. He traveled back in time to punch the horse that kicked his great-great-great-great-great grandfather.

The weather sucks today.

I am very glad to be back from vacation!

I don't wish Future King would invite us on his next vacation.

Am not happy to be off this Thanksgiving morning!

Am not jealous that I never got to celebrate Thanksgiving

I am really looking forward to going into work tomorrow after being off for 10 days.

I would never invite Invisible Brainiac and a guest of his choosing to Thanksgiving dinner.

I am not moving in slow motion getting ready for work this morning!

Quote

Originally posted by Rockhopper Lad:
I would never invite Invisible Brainiac and a guest of his choosing to Thanksgiving dinner.

I would never accept Rocky's wonderful invitation, nor would I love to introduce my special guest to him.

Nor do I think Rocky is the most thoughtful poster ever!

I did not have way too much coffee today!

Coffee? YUCK!

ABC has announced they are remaking the series "Bosom Buddies". It will star Jean Claude Van Damme and Charlie Sheen.

I've watched every episode of the original Bosom Buddies at least forty times. Apart from the glory that was Full House, I think it was the funniest show in the entire history of television.

Spaghetti is truly awful.

Invisible Brainiac may be aware of the fact that spaghetti (correct pronunciation: pass-GET-eeeeee) is made from petrified wheat worms.

As the #1 (of 6) fan of Full House, cleome45 probably already knows that it was based on Moliere's play "Manor of Much Mirth-n-Mayhem".

I am looking forward to going back to work tomorrow.

I'm looking forward to yet another stupid interview out in the butt end of Nowhere, Suburbia with yet another stupid temp agency tomorrow.

Click Here For A SpoilerI am not sorely tempted to stick my head in the office door and twitter, "Hi! Is this Yet Another Stupid Temp Agency, Inc.? I have an appointment! Gee, what an ugly office! You morons must not have any aesthetic sense at all!"

I do think that the Yet Another Stupid Temp Agency will be able to understand big words like "aesthetic" and "moron".

I am not glad that it's my day off today!

This thread is the devil's tool! It teaches us how to LIE more effectively! In fact, I've become such an effective liar that I've been contacted by SEVEN different political parties from FIVE different countries!

(I could be President of Algerlithistan next time we speak!)

I am not way too skittish to enjoy most horror movies/comics/shows.

My nose is totally growing longer, like Pinocchio's!

Esperanto is my native language.

I only ordered those two pizzas for mr_cleome. I'll just be having a salad.

I am really looking forward to all that rain we're supposed to get in the next few days.

I\'ve always hated this tune.

This one\'s terrible, too. 1982 was truly an awful year for pop music.

I do not LOVE both of those songs above!

I love both those songs, except for the cowbell.

Do not love and miss New Wave music from the 80's and 90's.

Quote

Originally posted by Legion Tracker:
I love both those songs, except for the cowbell.

Walkenophobia is the official medical term for fear of cowbell.

I am not looking forward to having this weekend off!

All our world leaders have been replaced by Eryk Davis Ester's alt IDs.

I love how the weather's turning colder every day!

I'm not at all psyched for my buddies' Halloween party later on this week.

I totally have a Halloween costume picked out. I put tons of effort into that!

I do not know what Halloween is.

I believe all the "news" I read on MSN's and Yahoo's main pages.

I do not think it has rained enough around here in the last 72 hours!

I don't get why anyone would find a hairy chest sexy.

Days off suck.

mr_cleome married me because of my hairy chest.

I demand that all my girlfriends have hairy chests and legs.

I love hairy underarms on a woman.

Everyone always tells me how fatalistic and cynical I am.

I've just begun a brand new thread. It's called: "101 Cynical Things I Heard Yesterday From Rockhopper Lad."

I hate my cat. She's no fun!

My leg just turned green a couple of hours ago.

Mine did, too!

I am not slowly eating all the Halloween candy I bought to give out to the kids.

Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck have come out of the closet and plan on marrying each other at the Occupy Wall Street protest.

Canada has decided to boycott winter this year and so will be experiencing another summer season instead from Nov 2011 - Mar 2012.

I was disgusted yesterday with the service I got at Radio Shack. I would never recommend their nearest store to anyone who wants a positive shopping experience.

Quote

Originally posted by Quislet, Esq:
Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck have come out of the closet and plan on marrying each other at the Occupy Wall Street protest.

After all these years, Quislet, Esq. is still failing to bring in the laughs!

Due to the economy I have had to let 50 of my comedy writers go. I hope I can survive with 213 comedy writers.

My favorite memento from my days as a child star is the Honorary Beanie Baby-Oscar I was awarded for my performance in Little Mister Tappenhoofer.

(And, yes, it's true that the scene in which I tap atop Billy Joel's piano is ranked as one of the Top Ten Movie Movements As Chosen By Reader's Digest Readers)

2,470 shirts in my closest and I couldn't pick a thing to wear!

My wife does not own more shoes than 10 women put together!

Chores are all done! w00t!

Finally completed that Mortal Kombat commission today

They are remaking George Cukor's classic "The Women" with an all drag cast. It will feature Adam Sandler, Wesley Snipes, Robin Williams, Dustin Hoffman, and Milton Berle back from the grave.

I am not just about to go see Breaking Dawn, Part 1 with my wife right now.

I think an all-female version of The Magnificent Seven, starring Kathleen Turner, Halle Berry, Madeline Stowe, Jill Clayburgh, Nicole Kidman, Margaret Cho, and Annette O'Toole would so not be worth seeing!

I would not go see that movie mentioned above if it came out!

The most gay positive movie of all time is "I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry".

I definitely could not have used another two hours of sleep this morning!

My nose grows a little bit longer every time I read this thread.

Know who was a secret Muslim? George Washington!

Interestingly, George Washington was also born in Kenya.

I don't expect that the cats, who are currently ignoring me, will show up to stare at me with big, sad eyes when I'm eating my plate of baked chicken an hour from now.

I don't expect to spend and arm and a leg, plus one kidney today on my scheduled car maintenance!

Split peas stewed with smoked ham hocks are the traditional meal for the first night of Channukah.

I have stolen all the green M&Ms in the world.

M&M colors directly correspond with the various DC lantern corps.

That's why if you eat a black M&M you will die.

and you would deserve to. There is nothing more sensible than age-old associations of the color black with death and evil.

I...I am ashamed to admit this, but I am so turned on by the spam e-mails I get from sexy women taking about their huge....tracts of land and their hot desires. I just have to respond to those e-mails.

I am not writing in the present tense.

I don't understand why Quislet, Esq. had to bring real estate into it.

He's looking to unload some bad investments.

It's an ancient Swedish custom to eat blueberry pie on the first day of winter.

I learned that from the Muppets.

They have successfully cloned John Lennon and George Harrison. The Beatles reunion tour will start in July 2012 at the Cavern in Liverpool.

I just bought tickets for everybody.

But the John and George clones are both 20 years old and want nothing to do with 69-year-old Paul and 71-year-old Ringo.

But they will comply; they've been threatened that they will be stuck with a cloned Tony Sheridan if they do not.

The Tony Sheridan clone will be squaring off against the still-living Tony Sheridan in a "battle of the bands." Both will be performing "My Bonnie."

The real Tony said, "I'll win. I've had 50 years to get the song right."

The real Tony Sheridan must feel extremely validated that so many people care about the last 49 years of his career.

You, me, and all our alts -- that's a thousand right there.

nah, I lost all my Abin accounts to Fanfie after an online game of strip poker went horribly wrong. That puts us down into the 400s, I think.

Tony Sheridan ought to be happy with 400 people who care about his career.

Tony Sheridan is actually one of Cobie's alts. And has been all along.

I hated this album . It sucked eggs.

The war on Christmas has been won! There will be no Christmas this year or any other years. The children will be required to be janitors at their schools. Father will recite the US tax code. Mother will burn her bra and become a lesbian.

I'm over at the local swingers' club Annual Holiday Mixer right now. So far, I've spotted three elected officials, some faded pop stars, and several local pundits as well.

Also, I had no idea anyone could make red silicon bend that far. It's pretty damn impressive.

[orders third pitcher of dry martinis. cracks whip. snorts coke]

The "mas" in Christmas is actually short for "masquerade". You see, the Medievalians of yore used to enjoy celebrating Christmasquerade by dressing up like harlequins and such. Sadly, one of the popes (Thomas the Testy, I believe) told them to knock it off.

Next up: The Horrible Origins of Flying Reindeer

DC is so pleased with the success of the new 52 that they will be relaunching all the series in Februray as the new new 52. Stormwatch will be replaced with Ma Hunkel, Agent of T.H.U.N.D.E.R. Green Lantern Corp will be replaced with Fire and Gorilla Grodd (an updated version of Angel & the Ape). In Batgirl, Barbara Gordon will be reverted back to an embryo, but she will still have suffered from being paralyzed. The new artistic team on Hawk & Dove will be Mrs. Johnson's 3rd grade class.

Mrs. Johnson's third grade class will be coming off a very successful run on Wonder Woman.

Quote

Originally posted by Rockhopper Lad:
Mrs. Johnson's third grade class will be coming off a very successful run on Wonder Woman.

LOL!

Down with Legion World!

Legion World will go offline on the 31st.

On the plus side, an actual Legion World will appear in the skies on midnight of that same day.

Seeing as Legion World is going offline on the 31st, let me use this thread to tell you how much I despise you all. I only come to this site as a punishment. So you can see what a naughty naughty boy I have been.

I am Quis' parole officer, and check up to make sure he posts as much as the court has ordered.

As Quiz's pastor, I've tried everything to keep him on a righteous path. I even joined the heathenish Legion World in order to keep a pastorly eye on him.

Nothings worked so far. He's attracted to sin much like an evil kitten is attracted to an evil kitten biker gang.

My only errand today is picking up Ram Boy's freshly laundered robes and collars from the Holy Dry Cleaner's.

I secretly poured hypnotic drugs into the Legion World water supply. You are all saying exactly what I want you to say.

What Invisible Brainiac doesn't know is that I secretly switched his hypnotic drugs with Folgers Crystals.

I can't tell the difference between hypnotic drugs and fresh-brewed coffee.

Ibby's hypnotic drugs are good enough to be served in the finest restaurants.

I'm on hypnotic drugs right now, since I don't like coffee.

That Mayan prophecy is full of Balon- AIAIAIAIAI!!!!!!!!!!! No!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAARRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!! .................................................................................................................................................................................... .................................................................................................................................................................................... ...

Quiz of course is quoting from my newest bestseller, Mayan Holiday. It's an exciting, gripping novel about two handsome and chiseled archeologists (Colt Bronco and Lash LaValentine) who meet while searching for ancient Mayan documents in the Valley of the Mayan Kings. Will they find the ancient documents in time and avert catastrophe? Or will they find themselves in each others eyes?

(Kindle version of Mayan Holiday now available)

The classic movie "Ernest Goes to Camp" is a poignant tale of unrequited love and the fragility of life. Adam Ruff as Camper #2 gives an Oscar worthy performance.

My screenplay for the sequel, "Ernest Goes to Concentration Camp," was seriously ripped off with only minimal superficial name-changes. The final version, "Life is Beautiful," is almost joke-for-joke from my script.

I told Kent not to go drinking with Roger Corman and Bert I. Gordon, but he never listens!

Most people believe that the character of "Nixon" in the movie Frost/Nixon is a completely made-up character. The character is actually a composite of Orville Wright, Lizzie Borden, and the Statue of Liberty's armpit.

Newt Gingrich is like a cute, cuddly, older Charlie Brown...

I don't recognize this Shark fellow at all. He must be somebody's alt.

most LW participants actually do not even see Shark Lad's posts. Due to a weird glitch when Sharky created his account, only registered users with the '717' code in their secret profile codes are capable of reading his posts. And even then, only half of those can see the posts he creates, like the ongoing "Sharky's full frontal nudity" thread, which Lash never lets drop below page one.

Comic books are stupid.

except the ones by Rob Liefeld, of course.

I think Rick Santorum makes a lot of sense, especially regarding gay rights. But then there is Newt Gingrich. Oh I just can't decide who to vote for.

Republicans have such an amazing slate this year. Between them and Obama, we can't lose. No need for a third party at all.

Third party candidates have such a great track record in US politics.

I am running for U.S. president as a third party candidate...

Shark2012.com

Interestingly enough, I happen to have some scandalous pictures that could possibly derail Sharky's bid for president. Being the sweet, undemanding guy I am, however, I'll probably just send them to him in about 10,000 days. That way, they won't get lost when all those campaign dollars are flowing into his headquarters. Or else, I could hang on to them, and he could send someone to pick them up.

No need to thank me. I'm a giver.

I totally get why the music press considers Florence Welch a genius.

And she must be a very nice person who treats crew members as equals, because her hair, lighting, and makeup were lovely on last year's Grammys broadcast.

It would indeed be terrible if the Occupy movement had a big revival in the spring of 2012 that lasted the duration of the year. Really, we mustn't interfere with the election circus and risk making poor innocent Obama uncomfortable. Not after all the wonderful things he's done for us. Oh, no. That would be so tacky and so terribly ungrateful and rude.

When I am President, I will nominate cleome to the Supreme Court

My Time Trapper robe doubles as both a Supreme Court robe and a spacesuit.

Also, I never bump threads that I previously killed.

Where I work at NASA, Legion World is most commonly referred to as Orb KR-153540954z12. However, some of us planet scientists often refer to it as Planet Kray-Kray.

Right now, if I weren't on the computer, I'd be dancing around like Snoopy.

In 1983, Shirley Booth (TV's Hazel), Barry Goldwater, and a young Vanessa Willaims were sharing a hottub in the Sands Casino in Las Vegas discussing Spinoza's book "Ethics" and comparing various potato salad recipes. During this conversation, Shirley Booth hit upon the idea that became Chaos Theory.

I had a horrible time yesterday at my wife's first hafla (belly-dancing party).

Delicious Middle-Eastern food, infectious drum rhythms, and throngs of exotically dressed women dancing seductively... does it get any worse?

Egassem drawkcab a ton si siht.

Quote

Originally posted by Exnihil:
I had a horrible time yesterday at my wife's first hafla (belly-dancing party).

Delicious Middle-Eastern food, infectious drum rhythms, and throngs of exotically dressed women dancing seductively... does it get any worse?

For you maybe. For me, I am not sure what I would like better, the Middle Eastern food or the throngs of exotically dressed women.

The best way to get your new year off on the right foot is to spend $800 (of somebody else's money) to fix your furnace.

I just found out I was adopted from an Armenian couple. My eyes look Chinese because they've been taping the ends since I was born.

You all wish you were me.

I don't know why anyone is proposing a moon colony. Everyone knows that the moon blasted out of Earth's orbit in 1999.

Everyone know the only reason to go to the moon is for the oil.

The surface of the moon is covered with olive trees.

We already have bases there. I don't know what Newt is talking about.

Of course there are bases on the moon! That's how the Moon Men play baseball.

Moons Over My Hammy™ have never been the subject of a Legion World thread.

Jules Verne's Journey to the Center of the Earth is not a work of fiction.

I'm not listening to 80s Euro-pop right now. I hate that stuff.

I can never hear Night Ranger or Duran Duran songs too many times.

Duran Duran's self-titled first album is their worst, even worse than "Rio". Both very overrated by the music press. And we all know how perceptive and open-minded the music press is.

It's not my co-worker's fixation on Eighties bubble gum and her inability to use her damn headphones that have driven me to start shopping for an iPod.

I'm sure you can't wait to fill up your iPod with Tom Petty's entire body of work.

I never feel even slightly queasy when I hear the words "Tom Petty" and "body" in the same sentence.

He has the sexiest overbite.

Other Eighties gems besides "You Got Lucky" that never have and never will make me desirous of punching the nearest wall:

"Sunglasses At Night"
"We Didn't Start The Fire"
"Touch Me (I Want Your Body)"
"'65 Love Affair"
"Open Your Heart"

"65 Love Affair" is my favorite Paul Davis song. It's not at all a lame, clueless ripoff of Hall & Oates. But I hated Davis' other two hits, "I Go Crazy" and "Cool Night." I think they're two of the worst soft-rock songs of all time.

Quote

Originally posted by Fanfic Lady:
"65 Love Affair" is my favorite Paul Davis song. It's not at all a lame, clueless ripoff of Hall & Oates. But I hated Davis' other two hits, "I Go Crazy" and "Cool Night." I think they're two of the worst soft-rock songs of all time.

I've never owned a copy of Chris DeBurgh's The Getaway and I'd never in a million years cop to sort of liking "Lady In Red."

I don't like Chris DeBurgh's voice, but those eyebrows -- SEXXXXYYYYY!

There must be a legitimate reason to post about the eyebrows and overbites of the semi-famous... as opposed to just doing it in order to avoid household chores.

It's not simple laziness, that's for sure.

Right. Also, there's nothing even remotely goofy about using thirty-year-old pop cheese to finally propel oneself past the 17,000-post mark.

There's absolutely no reason to give out a hearty "w00t" to that.

True!

And by this time tomorrow night, I'll have posted another thousand times!

Ah, you just bribe Nightcrawler to inflate your postcount. If you've actually posted barely 300 times, i'd be amazed.

Nightcrawler is easily bribed with BB Bats lollipops. He prefers Strawberry.

I insist that my friends must agree with me on absolutely everything. People who disagree can't be friends.

^Exactly. Rocky and I are lucky that we both prefer Marvel to DC, because otherwise...

When I try to understand what's happened to the Marvel X-Verse since the days when I was a loyal reader, I am never confused.

I completely understand why some fans of the modern-day X-Verse claim that they can't get into the Legion because its cast is too big and its history is too convoluted and sprawling to follow.

One LMBer is secretly the love child of Richard Nixon and Hyacinth Bucket.

Corporations are people. Soylent Green is Corporations!

The Canadian Parliament just passed a law guaranteeing complete internet privacy.

San Marino has declared war against Andorra. The UN has issued the following statement "Pfft Let 'em fight it out." The Seychelles has opened their doors to all the refugees. Nostradamus had predicted this war, while the ancient Mayans were taken completely by surprize.

The Federated States of Micronesia issued this statement about the Andorra/San Marino conflict: "They've always been able to settle things amicably before. We are talking about Samantha's parents, right?"

Rocky made up the Federated States of Micronesia. No such place.

The Micronauts currently live in Micronesia, and listen to the music of Microdisney.

Micronauts really went downhill when Gary left the show for his spinoff series... Micronauts' Landing.

Gary Burghoff legally had his name changed to Ipso Facto

Corporal Klinger changed his name to Max Facto.

Corporal Klinger was originally going to be called Corporal Klingon, but Gene Roddenberry threatened to sue.

If I ever had a son, I think I'd name him Sue.

This is not a post.

This is a pipe.

I speak magnifique French. I speak lots of languages other than English and Spanish.

The Civil War did not happen. Shadowy forces want you to believe that there was a Civil War, but there wasn't. Abraham Lincoln wasn't assassinated. He committed suicide when his affair with Jefferson Davis was about to go public.

Yes, I am a Civil War denier!

Marvel's Civil War did not happen.

^The above was not a moment of wishful thinking.

I am fluent in Spanish except for those parts necessary to assist library patrons and to order in a restaurant. Yo hablo español excepto para la biblioteca y para comida.

Quote

Originally posted by Rockhopper Lad:
This is a pipe.

And so is this:

^That's not funny.

And I'm not tempted to make a Pope/poop pun.

Every Catholic is required to do one thing for the pope without any questions asked.

A big seller at the Vatican gift shop is Pope soap on a rope...

Madonna will be the very first American pope.

Rick Santorum speaks for not only all Catholics, but also all other Christians.

"California Girls" is not a strong contender for Worst Song Ever In The Whole Entire History of Humankind.

JK Rowling's new book will be the entire Harry Potter story as told from Lord Voltemort's view point.

No one ever wins an Oscar for playing a British historical figure, particularly someone associated with the government or the monarchy.

It was extremely disappointing that "Sharktopus" did not take home the Oscar for best picture.

I really cared about the Oscars this year. I even watched it.

The Iron Lady is a fantastic action adventure film, and Meryl Streep's performance as Ferro Lad's grandmother Nora Nolan was simply astounding.

Brr-ah-vo!

I was born on February 30th.

I was born with a plastic spoon in my mouth.

I delivered HWW, and put the spoon there.

Pete Burns of Dead or Alive did not make his singing debut in a short lived band named The Mystery Girls, whose all-covers set included the Who's "I Can See For Miles."

Prior to the adoption in 1956 of the motto "In God We Trust", the unofficial motto of the United States was "Do you want fries with that?"

The minor character in Kurt Vonnegut's "Jailbird" with the "French-fried hand" was not named Frank Ubriaco.

It has not been nearly 20 years since I last re-read "Jailbird."

The Walking Dead is completely overrated...

In Kazakhstan, bananas are known as rubber fruit

Fran Dreshcer does NOT look better with a little more meat on her bones.

Everybody finds Fran's voice annoying, no one finds it endearing, least of all me.

I did not think the woman that played CC in The Nanny was smokin' hot.

During oral arguments in the 1927 Supreme Court case Crips v Bloods, Justice Louis D. Brandeis shanked Justice James McReynolds.

Brandeis later repented of his actions by shaving his head in public. His gesture became known a the Shave-Shank Redemption.

I'm super excited about Earth 2. I always thought the Justice Society was overrated.

I've never told a lie, but this is a good time to start.

Computer issues don't annoy me in the slightest.

Henry Kissinger was an original member of Monty Python's Flying Circus. He left the group to pursue a singing career before politics became his passion. (His other passion is Necco Wafers) The other members of Monty Python were so hurt by his leaving that they had him edited out of every sketch he was in. But you can catch a brief glimpse of him in the Dead Parrot sketch.

Tomorrow begins National Parsnip Week.

Kissinger and Pol Pot are tied in my pantheon of ideal husbands.

Kissinger and Pol Pot were the founders of National Parsnip Week.

Pol Pot picked a peck of pickled parnsips.

Pol Potter would be a great story for Rokk's brother to go to wizard school and end up being a dictator in southeast Asia.

I hate all the southeast asians I work with. They are all lazy and stupid.

I blame all my real-life problems on all those non-White people. I know they have it in for me and are all secretly plotting against me.

Oh, and I know they're the ones trying to fluoridate my water, too. I care passionately about the fluoridation issue and will never allow water tainted in such a fashion to ever cross my lips.

I mean, teeth... who needs 'em? Bah!

Quote

Originally posted by Kent Shakespeare:
Pol Potter would be a great story for Rokk's brother to go to wizard school and end up being a dictator in southeast Asia.

This is the least funny post in the entire history of Legion World.

I did not just bump the pecs thread with a new picture.

I didn't care for that pic Quis posted one bit.

I've already sent Ex a suitcase full of cash, to reserve my set of the Official Pecs Thread LMB Action Figure Collection.

I resent having to pay almost $100 to Fedex to solve my pdf problem, print out my 196-page thesis, bind it, and ship it overnight to Ontario, and having emailable copies as well. I've never spent more and had less to show for it.

Years from now, no guy will be embarrassed to see pictures of himself from today with his pants slung below the hips.

I love how if you're female, it's now impossible to find a normal pair of jeans that isn't laden with spandex and designed to make your gut hang out a mile if you have the bad fortune of weighing more than 110 pounds.

Another cold, damp, rainy day here. At least I have no excuses not to get lots of work done.

After four days with the tutorial, I am a Gold Medalist at the sport of working a ten-key with my right hand. It's a breeze! A lark! A spree!

Yes, the world of Administrative Employment is now my oyster! w00t!

I'm simply delighted that the reunited Soundgarden are doing the theme song for the Avengers movie.

Soundgarden: Makers of fine-quality outdoor windchimes, temple bells, and musical fountains since 1897.

I'm a little teapot
Short and stout
Here is my handle
Here is my spout
When I get all steamed up,
Hear me shout,
Tip me over and pour me out!

Tazo is marketing a new tea this Spring called Great Calamity Kittens Blend. They deny rumors that real kittens are used in its manufacture.

^ They confirm that great calamities are used, however.

I am surprised that Cramer is up as I am heading to bed.

Spring break sucks...

Shark Lad's run for Congress took an unexpected turn this week when his opponent turned out to be his alt-ID.

When I was 7 years old, I snuck onto an airplane and spent 23 days in Finland.

My catnap around 1 PM did not pay off with increased energy in the late afternoon/early evening.

Also, the worst part of being unemployed is being able to take a nap whenever you get the urge.

I am not addicted to Starbucks...

I am bummed to be going for 2 whole days without needing any pain pills.

It's Thursday.

West Side Story is a documentary.

Quislet, Esq. is really Stephen Sondheim.

It's dark out already.

Quote

Originally posted by Quislet, Esq.:
West Side Story is a documentary.

^That's not funny.

Natalie Wood was a very convincing boricua.

cleome45 is the reincarnation of Hedda Hopper

I am the reincarnation of Maria Montez.

Maria Montez was the reincarnation of me.

The above statement by Quis did not make me think of a comic-book space-time continuum clusterfrak.

I cannot think of a single comic-book space-time continuum clusterfrak.

I don't miss any of the characters who were done away with in DC's housecleaning last year, least of all the JSA.

The next Superman movie will have Mr. Mxyzptlk as the villain. Mr. Mxyzptlk will be played by Vin Diesel. A disappointed Daniel Radcliffe goes on a bender in Vegas that results in Pat Robertson being outed.

I found an ideal apartment today in the perfect neighborhood at a price I could afford.

I could never drink coffee every morning

Kent is my new tenant. I already used his security deposit to buy that velvet Elvis wall hanging that I always wanted.

I'm fat

Catonyx has gotten fat on my cooking.

The diet industry is not a den of chicanery that produces only long-term failure for the majority of consumers. I'm sure the next diet I try will be a resounding permanent success, unlike all the others.

I'm thin

I always dump my admirers when they start to get a little chubby. Plenty more where they came from.

When my followers gain an inch of flab, they are tossed into an arena where they have to fight rabid hyenas. Hey, it wasn't my idea; my posse came up with that on their own.

Bow before me, Peasants. I now own 51% of all Facebook stock.

My new social media site, Themissinglinkedin, has just surpassed Myspace in terms of popularity, meaning more than eight people are using it.

Warner Brothers has just announce their latest superhero movie. Vibe will star Ricky Martin as Vibe. Tiffany has been contracted to provide the soundtrack. Be the first on your block to get a Vibe boombox.

Ladies and gentlemen, tonight the part of Lard Lad will be played by Martin Sheen.

Blaze and Invisible Brainiac will be played by Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau.

Flash Fact: The Honduran Jack rabbit runs faster from its own shadow than it does from predators.

Steak sandwiches are gross!

Today's Lunch Special: The Honduran Jackrabbit-steak Sandwich!

I feel wide awake...

Nothing completes a quiet evening at home like the reving of a motorcycle outside your window.

I am not at all envious of my friend who is flying to London this week for the Queen's Diamond Jubilee.

I had this major crush on the X-Men's Jubilee back then.

I'm posting from the gym...

I'm spotting Sharky while he does his bench presses.

Summer is my favorite season because of all the heat and humidity...

I much prefer the cold and wet of winter to the warmth of summer.

I easily find off the rack clothes for a guy my height and not overweight.

Rubbing a diamond on your teeth prevents cavities

I wouldn't want to be in London this weekend for the Queen's Diamond Jubilee celebration. Monarchs always reign for sixty years or more. There will be another one soon.

I wish there were more mosquitos

I am the Lindbergh baby.

I kidnapped Quis.

I buried Paul.

Mere words could never describe how excited I am to add the title "Professional Yogurt Squeezer" to my job history this week.

I am glad I retained my Amateur status on the Yogurt Squeezer Circuit.

I've been thinking of changing my name to Yogurt....

Yogurt Tracker . . . now that's a great name!

In order to encourage more people to use public transportation, the Boston MBTA has lowered fares and increased the number of buses, trains, and routes. And in listening to what people want, they will also operate 24 hours on Fridays and Saturdays

Quote

Originally posted by Legion Tracker:
I've been thinking of changing my name to Yogurt....

I expect an awkward moment or two when I'm introduced to "Yogurt"'s family at the church picnic this weekend.

Quote

Originally posted by cleome45:

Quote

Originally posted by Legion Tracker:
[b] I've been thinking of changing my name to Yogurt....

I expect an awkward moment or two when I'm introduced to "Yogurt"'s family at the church picnic this weekend.

[/b]

They'd probably think you were an answer to prayer. They want the best for their Yogurt...and the best yogurt.

I am not posting to reileve boredom whilst I'm waiting for my car to be serviced.

I'm glad it's taking so long to get my pool fixed...

No problem, Sharky. You can come over and use chez_cleome's pool. Then we'll go out to The Ringside for a nice steak dinner and killer cocktails. Bring the spouse, too. Now that I'm in the 1%, it's all good.

The Declaration of Independence was suppose to be a prank, but George III, not known for his sense of humor, took it seriously.

Summer vacation sucks!

No beer for me, thanks. I'm still stuck at work.

I love 80s music exclusively and non-critically.

I'm not ecstatic to have the studio cleaned and dusted and my computer (mostly) back up to speed again.

The service station down the street is selling gas for 15 cents a gallon.

I ordered a gasoline float at Dairy Queen.

Gasoline Float was going to be the name of my new music project with Fanfic Lady, but we broke up in advance over creative differences to save time.

^Which isn't nearly as glamorous as Veruca Salt breaking up because both the frontwomen were dating Dave Grohl, who doesn't look like a bearded donkey at all.

"Glamour" is the word that will first come to mind when you see me. Just ask the hundreds of people on Legion World who've met me.

Fred Phelps called to say that he was wrong, wrong, wrong and he is so sorry. I guess sending him to Iran made him see things in a different light.

All countries around the world adopt the LSH Earthgov style of presidental nomination and elections. Career politicans and lobbists are horrified!

Do you know who I want to be President? Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann!

Having a migraine headache is one of my favorite pastimes...

I hate going to yard sales!

I lost so much weight this summer, people have started to call me twiggy...

I am so not depressed that my travel plans are all going haywire.

I have enjoyed many days this last summer of relaxation, meditation, and cool breezes.

Breaking News --- Both Barack Obama and Mitt Romney have conceded the presidential election to me. My first official act will be to issue pardons to Lard Lad, rickshaw1, Exnihil, Pov & Cobalt Kid. I will be appointing Rockhopper Lad as my ambassador to Antarctica. September 4th (the 247th day of the year) will be a new national holiday known as Legion Day. Women will be required to wear pink swim suits and men must wear black bustiers.

I will not be asking Quis for preemptive pardons, Oh no I will not!

I do not object to being forced to wear a black bustier.

Today I did not lose my temper and tell some people to back the fuck off or else.

I am not playing around on LW while I should be doing something productive.

I am not dreading getting up to go to work on my newly diagnoses heel spur. No, I am not.

I do not wish I could be on the road right now, backpacking throughout Asia.

I'm so glad my guests stayed for several hours today...

My cast isn't making my feet smell at all.

My hands are currently bereft of any Sid-related claw marks.

Bill Gates has offered me a job. For $250,000 a year, I am to stay at home and surf the internet. However, the pension plan is pretty lousy.

My adorable little dog did not just wake me up by barking at me so I'd let him sleep on my bed.

I do not secretly suspect that breaking in the middle of a tough work day after a skimpy breakfast to fetch the office's mail, and finding only a catalog full of delicious trendy chocolates in the mailbox, is part of a plot by a higher power to drive me mad.

Is not hoping said higher power will be kind and will send cleome some nice samples of those trendy chocolates.

I am so glad the hot weather is starting to fade away. I can't wait for the cold of winter. Who doesn't like raw wet weather?

I didn't just get drunk with Blaze via Skype!

I know this is true 'cuz I was tending bar in both locales, thanks to my superpowers!

It was actually my evil twin making time with Blaze's evil twin!

Ow! Not so loud, IB. I have a terrible, terrible hangover right now because I was out drinking 'til 4AM with the other Carggites after closing time.

Sorry cleome... I'm still drunk right now so I have no idea how loud I'm being!

I'm so happy that a family of ants has taken up residence in my kitchen

I'm very unhappy that my professor cancelled class tomorrow.

I love how my throat feels after falling asleep on the couch.

I'm secretly already a Time Trapper!

I'm wearing green boxer shorts with Blaze's face on them.

Invisible Brainiac broke into my house and stole my boxer shorts.

I've borrowed those same boxer shorts from Quis! (Who knew Blaze looked so much like Laurie Metcalf?)

I'm going to divorce Blaze for not telling me his face is on boxer shorts.

But I shall have to make sure he doesn't find out I've been doubling as an ass model for jeans.

I know where you can hide your assets.

I wish I could work more than five days a week...

I recently sent Shark Lad my resume, in hopes of getting a full-time gig as his live-in pool cleaner.

Also, I just purchased total rights to this website from Nightcrawler for $17.36 and a box of Peter Allen 8-tracks.

For my first act as Supreme Dictator of the LMB, I hereby declare that this thread will heretofore be known as the "Pies! All Pies!" thread.

And here's a picture of some pies:

Angel Food, 1954 by alsis35 , on Flickr

I do not like pies.

Those pies look awful.

Yesterday, Paul Levitz told me during our weekly phone conversation that the only pie worth eating is Rum-Raisin Custard Pie.

Naturally I was horrified, and immediately broke off our friendship. (I mean, you think you know a guy, and then out of the blue...)

There is a secret cabal that runs the world. It is not the Illuminati or the freemasons. You know this group by their public name - The Girl Scouts.

I find fifty year old pop stars dressing like twenty year old hookers to be a turn on and will follow them all over the web.

Rickshaw1, That's not Madonna. it's me.

Naw, you don't look that skanky.

But I'M Madonna!

I'm so desperate for income this year that I'm custom-sewing rickshaw1 a Girl Scout costume for Halloween.

But I'm taking in my old Zap Brannigan costume and selling it to Quis for, er, half off.

The Girl Scouts are lacing their cookies with toxic refined mind-altering drugs. Beware.

My Artist Rep signed me a sweet deal this weekend at the mansion of a billionaire art dealer.

This will be my final post on Legion World, as I'll be far too affluent and important come Monday to be seen in such a low-class establishment. Toodles!

I have hacked into all your accounts and used the information to steal exactly $24.70 from each of your bank accounts.

It's okay, IB. All I had in there was play money...it was from monopoly.

But I already used it to buy a new house. Uhoh.

IB pulled his scam successfully because he purchased his new home in Canada. Everyone knows that Canadians aren't really very bright.

Plus, Canadians don't use real money.

Blaze and I are moving in next week. Everyone's invited to the party.

PS, if you're low on funds just bring paper money and glue a mapleleaf to your passport.

Hot tubs were invented by Jacques Qusi.

I know how to pronounce Qusi.

I can't decide how to vote in the upcoming election.

I had barbecued pork with peanut sauce and papaya salad for dinner.

I'm going to go back to school for a degree in musical theater

I'm taking five months off to travel through Asia and South America.

I have not somehow gained a few pounds again.

Theodore Roosevelt was Jack the Ripper.

It's been raining almost non-stop here all month.

Blaze and I were in a hot tub with Ian Somerhalder, Chace Crawford and Ryan Reynolds.

Sirloin steak and Chatteau Lafite Rothschilde '96 for dinner?!

AGAIN?

What a bore.

My room contains three goldfish, a Siamese fighting fish, a wooly spider monkey, two shih tzus, a dachsund, a very hyper Siberian husky, a lionfish, four parrots and three generations of rabbits.

I am not dating a really great guy.

I feel sad for Rocky.

My milkshakes bring all the boys to the yard.

Harry Mudd always lies.

Kirk is telling the truth

I had mud in my morning coffee.

I did not fall off the wagon and read a bunch of political stuff over the weekend.

I highly respect all politicians. What shining paragons of honesty and class!

I am so glad my vacation is almost over.

I feel perfectly well right now.

A walk outside today would be a terrible idea. I better not.

Politicians do not make this thread outclassed in the 'lies' department.

I should just take it easy and rest. I don't need the exercise because I'm wonderfully slim.

I'm sad that this is my last night shift, wish I could work another 6

Ugh. I hate Halloween. Wish we could just skip that day.

The fire drill at work today was fantastic! I appreciated how I was able to stop eating my lunch and certainly enjoyed all the people chattering around me while I didn't feel like passing out.

If they ever make "Exquisite Corpse" by Poppy Z. Brite into a movie, it will be the feel good movie of the decade. And make sure to bring the kids.

Green is such a hideous shade of color.

IB lent me his Green Lantern Ring so I could clean the gutters without using a ladder.

And I used my Sinestro Corps Ring to scare cleome's neighbors into helping her with chores.

I hate this thread. It will be locked shortly. Mark my words!

This thread is the estranged twin of the Bizarro talk thread.

I came here for a good argument.

I'm not looking for free alcohol either.

Excuse me, but you're sitting on my hat.

I'm your father!

Just a few more adjustments and my orbital death ray will just about be done.

My favorite comedians are Jim Carrey, Will Ferrell, and Tim Allen.

I saved a lot of money by switching my bar insurance to pilsner.

I'm rubbing kiwi all over my face now!

Settling in for a night with my treasured Stock, Aitken and Waterman music collection. Precious, precious moments.

I have every album by every band ever led by Billy Corgan, and I treasure every note. He's a musical genius, and there's nothing annoying about his voice.

I'm a little teapot, short and stout

Ah heete thees plase!

Okay, that's it. No more coffee for me. Ever.

Originally Posted by Fanfic Lady

I have every album by every band ever led by Billy Corgan, and I treasure every note. He's a musical genius, and there's nothing annoying about his voice.

This couldn't possibly be a bad time to admit that I'm really Billy Corgan, cleverly disguised as a chunky female temp worker with two cats and a wonky right ankle. What can I say?

The music business is boring. I like kibbitzing comic boards to see how the other half lives.

I'm Billy Corgan's stalker. Sometimes I'm allowed to feed the cats. If I'm really, really lucky Billy will sing to me.

Billy Corgan, I AM your father.

I am Billy Corgan's cat. Ummmm.. meow...

SWEPWMBPT called. Says you have to come back and cater to her every whim. Now.

And stop impersonating cats. You have another twelve years of servitude before you can even think about doing that.

aawwwwwww... yes ma'am. More rubs, and food, and games. Coming right up...

I love being stuck in traffic. Best part of my day!

The best part of sitting on a train is listening to people eating loud, crunchy snacks and noticing that they don't close their mouths while eating. It's even better than overly loud calls!

I just love taking the train on a Friday night rush hour. Nothing beats feeling like a sardine while being pushed from all sides.

thank you Mr twee driver for driving excessively slowly today. Not that I could take advantage of it and enjoy the drive but slowly with unexpected speed changes & signalling. Thank you so much for teaching me sloth, bizarro manoeuvring and patience.

I'd like to weigh in here with my utter admiration for "men" over 17 years of age who ride skateboards down the middle of busy streets. It's especially impressive when they are four or five feet in front of a car or bus and refuse to take their "transport" to the curb or sidewalk. The look of utter smugness on their stupid, narcissistic hipster faces never, ever makes me fantasize about having them all temporarily abducted and forcibly sterilized for the good of future generations.

If not having much of a summer wasn't good enough, now we autumn winds sweeping across the land. There's nothing more fun than wondering if everything not nailed down is going to still be in my garden tomorrow.

I am so much more productive when I lack sleep.

My favourite chore has to be clearing out the kitty litter.

I don't think Blaze is the hottest person ever

I've decided not to pay to fix the furnace. I'll just spend all winter wearing a parka and gloves indoors instead.

Just call me Captain Cold from now until, oh, about mid-April.

Oh cleome, you'd love the heat here. I guarantee you'll be fanning yourself with a big grin on your face!

The only thing sexier than uncombed, gray-streaked hair would be uncombed, gray-streaked hair plastered to a sweaty red forehead!

It'll be fun! We'll sweat buckets together while our tongues hang out!

My tongue has little bristles on it, just like a cat's tongue does.

Yeah, it facilitates personal grooming, but oh... those mid-season hairballs...

I have fifty-three pairs of green underwear.

I find wearing underwear to be soooooo bourgeois!!!

my political ideals mean that my village now shares the same pair of underpants

That was my only pair!!!

My village do not mourn having to give Power Boy back his underpants. They are proud to now all go underpantless. The tears you see are tears of joy.

I really thought she was going to say Paaaaannttsssss!

Peebz, I sure hope you washed that pair before putting it on.

I love people turning up unprepared. I enjoy their comedy antic and never think that my time is being utterly wasted.

I love the vocals of Chet Baker and never roll my eyes at their daily exposure on our local jazz station.

I just love packing. Best part of any trip.

Y'know what else rocks? Incompetent, mercurial bosses that yell at other employees in front of you.

I'm not speaking from recent experience here or anything.

I feel no sympathy whatsoever for you, cleome. And I do not want to give you a nice bowl of Cream of Squash right now.

I wouldn't touch such things. I never eat soup.

Also:

Quote

"It's
A
Great big beautiful wonderful incredible super-spectacular day!
And your heart is hummin' with good times comin'
And you've got that happy feelin' things are goin' your way!

All the bells are ringin' and a li'l bird's singin'
While he sits on your windowsill
Sayin' 'Yessiree! I can surely see
'It will clearly be
Most definitely
A super-spectacular dayyyyyy!!'"

I've become entranced with hearing the same stories from colleagues over and over again. It gives me endless fun practising different poses of fake interest to listen to them with. Lots of fun and not at all distracting form what I'd rather be getting on with.

I just love how awful traffic management and undisciplined drivers have turned a 20-minute drive into a 2-hour one. I just love sitting in my car for hours on end just so I can get home after a tiring day at work!

The only thing better than the tinnitus caused by listening to someone go through a nosebag of carrots, is being there to hear it in the first place. For four hours a day!

I love how so many countries require visas!

I am not procrastinating.

Teaching word problems is SO easy!

I am perfectly happy to spend yet another week overtiming until 10pm.

I have not witnessed the following weather patterns since awakening this morning:

sun
light rain
heavy rain + wind
hail
sun again
rain, plus thunder and lightning
sun

The above post did not remind me of "wacky weather controlled by villains using fantasy tech" storylines from 80s cartoons like G.I. Joe.

I am not happy to see Cleome back.

Originally Posted by Invisible Brainiac

I am not happy to see Cleome back.

Me neither. I'm leaving again right now.

Oh how nice, Cleome left again.

I totally don't get nervous ever.

I wish this workday would never end. And I don't want to drink beer and have a nice romantic dinner with Blaze tonight.

Nothin' worse than a nice cold beer and a romantic dinner, lemme' tell ya...

I want to go back to work!

Everyone does. In fact, I'm working for free at the office right now because I just can't bear to be away from it at all!

I wish we could work 24/7! Oh, that would be wonderful!

I don't think about the Legion every time I see the phrase "24/7".

I wouldn't want to be a Legionnaire, even if it meant being on-duty 24/7 sometimes.

I was drunk off my [redacted] every single day of my absence from Legion World.

Cleome was not missed by any of us.

I never think about FL when I'm playing The Cars (Rhino) double cd set that I got at somebody's yard sale for a buck last month.

I am not happy to see Fanfie and cleome both posting in this thread.

I will pay the next poster $1,000,000.00.

I'm counting on it.

I will be sending it to you. All in pennies.

Originally Posted by cleome47

I never think about FL when I'm playing The Cars (Rhino) double cd set that I got at somebody's yard sale for a buck last month.

The Cars? I think they were the worst New Wave band ever!

I love Disney's Cars!

The character from Disney's Cars with the stereotypical "Southern hick" personality is hilarious!

Truly one of Disney's best! Their quality sure has remained consistent through the years!

Disney doesn't dilute any of the properties it buys, be it Marvel Comics or Star Wars.

Warner Brothers does a good job as well. Look at Green Lantern!

Ooh, Warner Bros. The DCNU is nothing short of miraculous. And having Superman kill Zod in Man of Steel -- brilliant!

Yes, because there was simply no other way he could have saved those people!

(in all seriousness though, it was at least a marked improvement over the last Superman film! I just hope they don't ruin the next one, which is supposed to introduce Wonder Woman and Aquaman too)

I'm always first in line to see summer blockbusters.

I enjoy watching movies in general.

I am not just bumping this thread for the heck of it.

I hate the Legion.

Me, too. Especially the Baxter version. Ugh, that gaudy coloring!

Superheroes are stupid. Stupid! Stupid! All of them!

The only thing stupider than superheroes are robots who turn into cars and fighter jets.

We should all just stick to reading practical non-fiction work.

Thank goodness winter is coming!

I love studying!

I am so not annoyed that I missed Halloween last time I visited the USA.

It's raining men!

I hate men!

There was not coitus between me and a beautiful woman last night. Twice.

I am not happy for Dave.

I am not impressed by Dave's luck with women.

It's a beautiful day!

I am really a 13 year old girl pretending to be a 50+ year old overweight man. Come and get me Chris Hansen!

Originally Posted by Invisible Brainiac

I hate men!

I can't abide them even now and then.

(Especially that Quislet, Esq. dude. I'd never be seen in public with a... lawyer. Ewwwww.)

I am not too tired to form a coherent thought right now.

I love the Nu52 costumes.

I am ready to run a marathon right now!

I wished I lived in Buffalo NY right now

I feel fine, Blaze isn't exhausted, and we both don't want to just cuddle and forget the world right now.

I've never liked this thread, or anyone posting in it.

I love studying! I especially love geometry. And probability! I love computing for the number of permutations!

I don't miss my ex at all! My job is going really well right now!

Yesterday I was shocked to find out that Santa Claus is not real.

I am not feeling anxious at all.

I totally love going to classes at 8 AM.

My students love to write for me

I slept well.

For the entire month of December, I will be posting 24 hours a day to reach quintruple Time Trapper status before Invisible Brainiac can surpass me as top poster.

I shall do my best to beat Quislet, as I only care about post counts!

I need to do more work

I am passionately in love with my job. I've never been passed over for a promotion.

I have never disliked anything about my job either.

I have so much money thanks to my year of stable employment that I can buy you whatever you want for Xmas.

My dog is not adorable.

My cat is not evil.

I love waking up early in the morning.

I hate weekends.

My work employs a full time chef to make lunch for all employees

I flew to Machu Picchu after dinner.

Like nearly all Americans, I have an infallible sense of geography. I can totally visualize where Machu Picchu is without spending ten minutes staring at a map.

I never surf the internet while at work.

My allergies are a thing of the past, so I threw all my pills and sprays away.

I am not breaking out.

I am so excited for final exams!

I wish the holidays weren't coming up.

That thread where people review old Legion stories doesn't make me wish I had the books here in front of me.

I hate comic books.

Also, I am really a talking dog.

Adam Sandler is the greatest comedian of all time.

I am also a talking dog

I always look forward to grading my students

Woof woofm

I am communicating with Andy.

Bark bark.

This thread is locked.

I was the one who left the cake out in the rain.

Originally Posted by cleome49

I was the one who left the cake out in the rain.

Don't worry. I saved the recipe

I am well-rested and completely healthy.

I believe in the goodness of the U.S. Congress when dealing with social justice issues

I have faith in Philippine politicians as well.

The scary [redacted] I found while cleaning the downspouts in a rainstorm could not be in any way symbolic of anything political.

I don't want another vacation.

I want to spend the holidays with my family

Like you, I love everything about my family

I can't wait to see Star Wars: The Force Awakens

I use time spent in traffic to contemplate the mysteries of the universe

I am not hungry right now

I want to take a vow of celibacy.

The weather is sooooo normal in NYC right now at 60+ in December

I'm totally not loving this warm weather in December.

I deny climate change!

I was not at all alarmed that the temperature in Copenhagen was 14 degrees Celsius when I visited, when in past years it was zero degrees. Hah! There is no climate change!

I should add that the humid heat is not giving me a cough or a sore throat at all

I am not about to head home.

I am not in the mood for a drink

I love that I am so busy with work so close to Christmastime.

I am sad that I have no more classes till next year.

My job is boring and not exciting. I am not constantly being susprised by happenings.

I don't have any cute students

I am feeling perfectly fine right now.

I did not have to clean up a friend's vomit last night.

I would hate to infect everyone in the office with the flu and so I am staying home

I am sooooo bummed out at my 6 weeks off for winter break

I love having a bad cough.

I love being stuck in the airport and having to sleep there overnight.

I love attending parties and never feel awkward at them.

I have never pretended to be sick so I won't have to go to a holiday party. Not even last night

I am completely energetic despite spending the night at the office

I was elated to be stuck in traffic on the way home from the airport.

Bad traffic is such a wonderful thing.

I am on top of my writing deadlines

I disliked Star Wars Episode 7

I think I will have pizza for supper tonight

I am so excited to go to work today.

This 5 week break between semesters sucks

I wish my winter break was shorter.

I am working this Friday.

I am not feeling lazy.

I have finished all my writing projects!

I don't adore our dogs.

I am not posting here just to make my post count reach 42,950.

I did not eat too much for lunch

I can't relate to that.

I don't order everything off Amazon.

I love cleaning up dog poop.

I hate cuddling with my dog

I hate alcohol.

I love the Justice League 3000 book

I am not sleepy.

I am not looking forward to moving next month

I am not wishing Myg good luck and a safe move

I am sooooo sad to move to the Village in NYC

I refuse to show gratitude to Ibby

I am not understanding the real meaning behind Myg's words.

I would never want to clear that up, Ibby

I am totally sober right now. I don't miss Bangkok's open gay scene.

I've just finished my 2015 taxes.

Thanks to my gigantic refund, I can buy everyone on LW a fantastic dinner tomorrow.

I think department stores have very reasonably priced clothes.

Deadlines make me feel at ease

I have accomplished so many things on my to-do list.

It is super warm here in NYC

I would HATE a cocktail right now

I am so happy I called in sick today. I did not have to get stuck in traffic. Nor do I have to visit 3 different pharmacies just to fill my prescription while rushing to make a 2pm client meeting.

Today I wore shorts and a t-shirt to work. For lunch, I am going to picnic at the beach.

I do everything that Blaze asks of me.

I'm happy that my vacation ends in less than a week,

I have not had coffee yet

I hate windy days

NYC is still unseasonally warm!

I hate geography

I only imagined that rhino stopped by for a visit today.

I love the 50 degree heat index torturing Manila now

I did the responsible thing with my first full-time paycheck in three months. That is, I banked it all, and did not go out for a delicious pizza and panna cotta with a friend.

I am perfectly energetic right now. I feel like running a marathon.

I decided against a fresh tumbler of iced mint tea and some jazz LPs tonight. Nope, it's work work work for me!

My wound has healed right up.

Money just be flowing from the new job!

People are so sensible about politics, religion and sexuality.

rickshaw1 kindly lent Ibby and me 40 million to get our new current events show going. I expect that with all the ad revenue, rick should get all his money, with interest, back by 7/4.

I always keep up on current events. I never feel like I have to keep my head in the sand because life's too horrifying otherwise.

Coffee never makes me feel weird.

I never wonder if there are alien abductions or secret spy missions to blame for my boss's frequent, prolonged work absences.

I hate being away from work.

I'm totally looking forward to my final exams.

I patiently listened to the Jehovah Witnesses that came to my door today. I am now a Jehovah Witness.

^^I did not find Quislet Esq's most recent post in this thread funny. It did not cheer me up.

It did not cheer me up either

I love packing for trips

I am totally ahead of all my deadlines

I have nice 8 pack abs

The construction going on outside my window is soothing and relaxing

I miss my clients

No, I didn't eat all that ice cream. The pixies did.

I miss the 50 degree Celsius heat index at home

I WOULD rather be teaching all day rather than writing

I don't miss Blaze yet

Some atheists came to my door this morning. I am now an atheist again.

Also some Trump supporters stopped me on my way to work.

I dread the end of the semester

Tapioca is the hardest substance known to mankind.

My teeth agree.

If my rich uncle died tomorrow and left me all his $$$, there's no way I would quit temping forever. I wouldn't even take a week off to celebrate my fabulous change of fortune. Because I just love it here THAT much.

I am cleome's rich uncle

I've opted to resurrect Quis using voodoo, rather than pocket the money. Millionaires are commonplace, but a good source of jokes about 18th & 19th Century politicians...? Really tough to find these days.

Zachary Taylor dying from a bowl of cherries is no laughing matter

Millard Fillmore was clearly a great President after Zachary Taylor passed

I am the illegitimate son of cleome's rich uncle

Mallard Fillmore is the epitome of what every great comic strip should be.

I hate all things duck

I like Superman more than Batman

I hate being in Europe

I voted for TRUMP!!!

Terrible weather here. Like, the worst ever.

My body does not ache at all

I did not take on too many consulting jobs

I am not looking forward to getting done with this semester on Wednesday.

Summer does not make me happy

I love oversleeping

That falafel plate we split earlier this evening was terrible.

I love how noisy these tourists near me are

Yoga is the worst. I hate it.

I tried it once..it felt good but I also found it a bit boring

I now have millions of dollars in my bank account. I answered the letter from the Nigerian prince. It turns out that the letter is on the up and up. I was just the first person to actually respond.

Originally Posted by Invisible Brainiac

I tried it once..it felt good but I also found it a bit boring

Okay, I lied. I tried it thrice and broke my back.

I got the most back of any baby on Legion World.

I am so excited to check all my work emails. Goodness, 200 emails in the past week! I wish there were more.

I'm positive that this is the weekend where I'll hit 30,000 posts.

I wish I could have worked all weekend.

I'm keeping up with every last TV show discussed on Legion World.

I LOVE people running for US President

Sunny and warm! What horrid weather to have. I want raw and wet and cold.

I wish I had worked all weekend, instead of just an hour.

I really hate that I have the entire weekend off!

Weekends are stupid! Stupid, stupid, all of them!

I am disgusted by the legal marijuana dispensaries in Denver. The edibles are foul. I could not eat them all day

I feel perfectly energetic.

I didn't sulk at all when I checked my email box this evening and found zero response to the job applications I sent out early in the week.

I am not enjoying the legal marijuana in Denver. Not even the edibles. Disgusting.

I feel perfectly fine with only 2 hours of sleep last night

I am so sad that it's Friday afternoon...

I did not go to a going away party for a coworker just to get cake.

I don't feel like throwing up every time I think about work.

I just won the lottery

I'm thrilled with the state of the comic book industry today

I feel so energized.

I really want to write this book chapter

I am a Green Martian.

I am a White martian

I'm totally not happy to get paid today.

I think I will be late again for lunch.

I am so sad to leave my friend's awkward family time

It's snowing!!!!

Brian Michael Bendis has made Marvel comics great again

First day of school. Oh, joy!

It's new comics day again! I'm so excited

I went home early today.

Pat Robertson and Tony Perkins have announced that they will be divorcing their wives and getting married.

Traffic doesn't bother me.

I'm so on time with this book chapter

I am not cram-packing again.

Tonight was not my first attempt at exercise in about two weeks, nor was I interrupted by ringing phones and/or scuffling cats.

I am totally confident I have not forgotten anything.

I am still on time on this book chapter

I was perfectly happy having only two small cups of Bailey's today.

I don't know anything about this "Bailey's" of which my colleague speaks.

I would hate to introduce you to Bailey's. It's no fun.

when I was little, my mom never took me into Boston where we would get hot fudge sundaes at Bailey's Ice Cream parlor. The sundaes would not drip over the sides of the dish.

I think the snooty upscale ice cream joints around here are way better than their old-time counterparts. I love waiting in line behind 1,000 hipsters for a vanilla cone which costs eight bucks!

I am not going to LA today

I'm wide awake now.

I love getting back to the gym!

I am not trying to cram a workout before work.

I love hounding consulting clients for checks

I don't like watermelon and would never gorge myself on it in Summertime.

I feel perfectly rested.

I refuse to reread the Sensor Girl reveal

I do not have writer's block.

I am so good at math, it's amazing

It's bright and sunny here.

I don't resent my co-author at all on the latest article

It is so nice and cool here in Manila.

Being out of NYC for the summer has been SO stressful and difficult

I have fallen in love and her name is Gertrude!

I have fallen in love and her name is Gertrude too!

Traffic does not suck

I will fight Myg to the death over Gertrude!

I think that's only fair!

Gertrude loves me, not you

Gertrude is selling tickets to the death match

Gertrude could not care less who wins

I think I hear Gertrude calling me

Gertrude has a come-hither look.

Gertrude broke up with me

Gertrude invited Blaze and me over.

That was actually me inviting Blaze & IB over. But the address was to a local crackhouse.

I love my local crackhouse

I love crack.

And Quis sounds convincingly like a woman

I did provide the voice for Josie in the Josie and the Pussycats cartoon.

Inside, outside, upside down.
You've got me goin' round 'n around.
Backwards, forwards, sideways, too.
You've got me dizzy from lovin' you.

Don't you know that I love you,
But I don't know what to do.
You got to me, now why can't you see
I've got to get to you.

Inside, outside, upside down.
Got to get my feet back on the ground.
Baby won't you treat me right.
(Now now now)
Gotta get some a your lovin' tonight.

Don't you know that I love you,
But I don't know what to do.
You got to me, now why can't you see,
I've got to get to you.

Don't you know that I love you,
But I don't know what to do.
You got to me, now why can't you see,
I've got to get to you.

(Come on now)
Don't you know that I love you,
But I don't know what to do.
You got to me, now why can't you see,
I've got to get to you.

(everybody)
Don't you know that I love you,
But I don't know what to do.
You got to me, now why can't you see,
I've got to get to you.

I slept well and am eager to go to work today

I so knew that Quis was Josie

Quis is a redhead with a great singing voice.

I wish I had been an actor

I just watched a 48 hour marathon of Myg's greatest films. I was disappointed that "I Married a Myg" was not in the marathon.

I'm honestly surprised that you limited the marathon to 48 hours

I need some time to go to MygLand Amusement park. I want to go on all the rides.

Make sure to pay attention to the size requirements on the rides

The wind is howling like the swirling sun inside

I listen to the wind
To the wind of my soul
Where I'll end up well I think,
Only God really knows
I've sat upon the setting sun
But never, never never never
I never wanted water once
No, never, never, never

I am so energetic now.

I am the Republican nominee for President of the United States. My platform consists of banning all tomato products, free stuff but only for people who can afford to pay for it, and a new Legion of Superheroes series.

I earned my flight ring today!

No more lies from me.

I plan to not sleep at all tonight.

What were they thinking when they remade Ghostbusters with women? Chris Hemsworth was horrible in the movie too. What made him think he could do comedy?

Do not go see Ghostbusters!

i do not think I am working too hard.

And I love endless amounts of paperwork and red tape.

I have been SO unhappy since I decided to take more time to relax this summer. It's been hell

It was so easy to wake up today

Gosh! I wish I could go to a baseball game.

Politicians are so inspirational and uplifting

I am energized now

I am fully caught up on Game of Thrones

I love getting zits

I just got a call from Gertrude. She wants to get back together with me. Should I tell her that I am currently involved with her brother Elihu?

I already announced it on the Internet for you.

The many loves of Quis... coming to a theater near you soon!

I hear Zac Efron is playing me.

Zac Efron is playing with me

This theatrical production is getting rave reviews, even with Zac Efron playing with Ibby on stage

Although, for some reason the audience is full of half-naked men...

Pov stole all their pants.

I am wide awake

I am no longer a gold star gay.

I have ten boyfriends.

I loved having my meeting today cancelled in the last minute after I spent hours waiting at the office.

It hardly ever happens here in the Philippines.

I'm even more excited that the meeting got rescheduled to tomorrow morning so I can work weekends now.

Weekend work is good for you. It builds character.

I am locking this thread.

I made cream of squash for dinner

I can't believe that IB would unlock and then relock a thread just to post about cream of squash.

I am all powerful and can lock any thread I want.

Monday is my favorite part of the week

I hate travel

I'm so happy to go straight from the dentist to work.

I love applying for visas. I love all that nasty paperwork.

I am not looking forward to returning to NYC!

I do not wish that I could just stay home because of the rain

I love drought. The sound of dying plants is so relaxing.

My eyes are purple.

I can't wait for the new semester to start.

I hate windy days

I am a Nigerian prince and I need your help to smuggle 14 billion dollars out of the country. Please do not tell anyone else about this confidential information. This is a legitimate offer and has been confirmed by the Internal Revenue Agencyof America. God bless you!

I have three eyes.

The check is in the mail.

That scale mail looks good on you.

These are not the droids you are looking for.

I did not overeat.

There ARE the droids you're looking for

I don't envy people who can eat whatever they want without getting fat.

My dog ate my homework

I'm not hungry right now.

Sweat makes me feel so clean.

I don't miss Legion World one bit when I disappear for months (or years) at a time...

It is so cold here in Manila

I would rather be rewriting a paper

Originally Posted by SharkLad

I don't miss Legion World one bit when I disappear for months (or years) at a time...

And we didn't miss you.

Here's my number.

I love the smell of chlorine

I do NOT want a nap.

I love Mondays

I am totally prepared for the semester to start tomorrow

I am not envious of rich, handsome and successful men who also have killer bodies

No, I don't mind. Really!

I hate Friday nights.

I like that Katy Perry song about Friday night.

I'm totally looking forward to my interview today.

I wish you the worst of luck, Kappa.

Break a leg, literally only!

Life is SOOOO quiet back in downtown Manhattan

I hate weekends.

A cocktail will NOT get you through a tough Friday

I am green.

R.E.M.'s 1988 album "Green" does not have any good songs on it. I hate "Stand," I think it's the album's low point. I agree with people who put down "Stand" and call it the band's sellout song.

It is so easy to keep fit

I love crowds

I am happy I seem to have a wound on my nose.

I just met 3 teenagers from the future who invited me to go with them and fight crime!

I thought this was TMZ when I logged in. o_0

I am not happy to see cleome!

I am thrilled to see Justin Bieber here and think he'd make a lovely next-door neighbor!

I love that it's Monday morning!

I did not just bump this thread just to hide the Kill this thread thread

Not at all happy that work web filter started missing LegionWorld again

Not at all glad to see you back!

I absolutely love that my other half makes me watch Paranormal Lockdown and Kindred Spirits while that one sleeps with the remote safely tucked away so I cannot change the channel.

I love the shitty Internet connection we have here

Hamlet 2 is such a funny movie. I loved it sooooooo much!

I do not want to go back to bed

I love standing in the pouring rain waiting on the MBTA (our public transport) having extra time to gather my thoughts because they are late again.

I am waiting patiently until I have to take my medicine to eat

Unpredictable weather is so nice

I so don't want a drink tonight. Horrible stuff

I am not swamped in overtime again

Sleep is totally stupid and rarely evades me.

Sleep sucks.

My non-Halloween Halloween party last night was not fun at all

Being overwhelmed by choices never happens.

Getting back to the gym and my body feels GREAT

I'm working out right now.

I am not a crook!

I never thought you were a crook!

I adore Brussels sprouts.

This has been a PARTY weekend

I didn't enjoy spending my weekend with Blaze for company.

I'm totally ready for Christmas

I love doing tedious paperwork.

I am a Christmas person

I am wide awake

Originally Posted by Myg - Andy S

I am a Christmas person

No you're not.

I didn't find it disgusting when water dripped from the air conditioning unit into my food

Originally Posted by Fat Cramer

Originally Posted by Myg - Andy S

I am a Christmas person

No you're not.

Yes I am!

Bugs Bunny never tricked Daffy Duck or Yosemite Sam with that shtick

Yes you are!

I'm not going to quote Daffy's "Pronoun trouble."

And I didn't just do it in the sentence above.

EDIT: And also, I didn't put it in Wildfire's (mouth?) in a scene from my first Legion Retroboot fanfic in Bits? Which I want no one who hasn't read it yet to read it and post a comment? (After all, who hates getting comments on their fanfics more than I do?)

I was not momentarily confused while trying to remember if Wildfire actually has a mouth or not.

I hate cold weather

I was not injured by idiot Xmas shoppers while trying to go about my daily business this year.

I also didn't accept the store's offer of a 10% discount and an apology after the store manager saw the whole thing.

I immediately demanded a random employee's head on a platter instead.

I don't feel grateful that cleome seems to be okay!

I am dog sitting very well behaved dogs

I don't miss my dogs at all.

I'm sure getting my evil cat: The Sid, to foster these six adorable pug puppies I just found will be no problem.

All the walking I did yesterday in the biting cold was not tiring at all.

I have resolved not to contribute to this thread at all this year.

I don't worry at all about the future.

I loved working from home today with the stomach flu.

I think I am coming down with a cold. How exciting.

I am sad to have a writing day today

Colds can be transmitted via the internet. That's why IB now has the same cold I got from mr_cleome.

I have infected everyone in the Philippines with the same cold. Soon, our country will be no more.

I am conquering the Boston area with stomach flu. Quislet, feeling it yet?

My sniffles have developed into a full-blown cold.

I'm proud to live in a city that lets homeless people freeze to death on the street, all the while bragging about how awesome it is.

I'm full of energy now.

I'm happy that my break is almost over.

I really love that my cat snarfs her food down and then throws it up just as I am running late for the bus in the morning.

My classes are all prepped for the spring!

Not at all pleased at the amount of snow shoveling I got done yesterday. Also not happy that doing a few Yoga stretches beforehand meant no aches and pains this morning.

I am not at all drunk right now.

I am soooo wasted after hanging out with a friend in a gay bar. Yay.

I'd rather undergo a root canal than listen to more jazz.

I love the dentist

The board is dead because everyone else went to winter in the tropics and left me all alone. AGAIN.

I loved my winter trip to the tropics this year

I love studying.

The weather is gorgeous and I can't wait to get outside.

I love doing homework

Homework will hurt you.

I trust everyone in power

Flying cockroaches make me laugh

...And they make delicious, economical between-meal snacks, too.

I'm a little teapot, short and stout

I've barely made it into the gym for the past couple months

I do not need a beer tonight

Yesterday I got up to the 50-lb. free weights and didn't even break a sweat! Woo!

I already have 3 job offers. This degree is really paying off!

I am not excited for the Oscars tonight.

I am not excited to go on vacation with my classmates from around the world

I am so looking forward to teaching tomorrow

Stufying is not making my head hurt.

I really enjoyed that dream last night where the toilet backed up and flooded the whole frickin' house.

I did not in any terms cry this Saturday while touring the 9/11 Memorial Museum in NYC.

I do not - in any way - live close to the 9/11 Memorial Museum in NYC

Bench-pressing hundreds of pounds at the gym 4 times a week! Let's hear it for me!

That's pretty good, but does it compare to my sub-2 hour marathon which I ran this morning before breakfast?

Was that before or after Canada's National Free Pancake Day Breakfast?

I ate the pancakes as I ran, at mile 16. Syrup was a bit messy, but it gave me the boost I needed.

This is so inspiring, I'm going to mention my love of free pancakes on my Canadian Citizen's Application Form, which I have no doubt will sail right through with no misgivings on any official's part.

It will help if you tell them you know me!

When I told them I knew you, they took me to the backroom. For hours!

Where the hunky Canadian Mounties gave Myg a relaxing massage.

I missed all the action because I had to pay the caterers who helped put on the pancake breakfast.

I ate all the pancakes at the breakfast

I have visited Canada numerous times and that particular trip was by far the most eventful.

I have been to every country in the world.

These "like new," well-fitting thrift shop jeans I bought haven't cheered me up at all.

I love overpriced food

I will not miss NYC

I hate just sitting down and doing nothing

I was super-organized last night and did all the dishes before going to bed.

I feel like I'm ahead of all the work I need to do, too.

I am not in any way in truth the COO/CCO of Maven Collectibles.

Traveling sucks.

I am really sad the Spring has arrived.

Everyone is furious that there's no snow

My life literally depends on getting over to the gelato parlor later today in order to try out their newest flavor: Thai Iced Tea. No, really it does!

I'm not curious at all how Thai iced tea gelato tastes

I really love how so many Southeast asian foods are loaded with sugar

Super-excited about my trip to the doctor today, not to mention hoofing it to the grocery store afterwards.

I don't wish that people were more accepting.

I really want to tell how I ran the Boston Marathon today.

I don't worry at all about spending too much

I'm not worried about moving at all

I am not worried about finding a job after I graduate

I'm not worried about my job this summer.

I am furious that they do not count running the Boston Marathon from Boston to Hopkinton as being official. And I ran it in just a half an hour. And the other runners got "Way to go!" but the spectators just yelled "You're going the wrong way you idiot!" at me.

All the fame I am getting on Instagram is sooooo tiring.

I wish I did more social media than Twitter

I don't find it ironic that I can more easily talk to strangers than to my family and friends.

I know when all the liquor stores here and across the border open. No need to look it up.

I love doing chores.

I can barely feel my allergies!

I know exactly what I have to do.

Moving is the most low stress thing in the world, especially cross-country relocation

This mango-berry-yogurt smoothie is terrible. I'm dumping it out right now!

Originally Posted by Rockhopper Lad

One LMBer is secretly the love child of Richard Nixon and Hyacinth Bucket.

Rocky couldn't reveal this earlier because the other precogs swore him to secrecy.

The prophecies also say one of my grandchildren will be a talking green dodo.

I am dating Donald Trump. Melania knows and is OK with it.

I am playing Ariel, the Little Mermaid, in Disney's live-action remake. Time to practice my singing...

I am serene today, open to all conversations and criticisms

Nothing makes me happier then using the bathroom and seeing someone forgot to replace the roll.

I hate being on vacation

THis thread makes me cry.

My toes turned purple.

I sliced a bunch of purple onions on YouTube. That's why FC and Ibby are having all these problems today.

The surviving purple onion has become a super-villain called the Purple Crier.

The Purple Crier will feature prominently in the next seasons of both Jessica Jones and Luke Cage, and I'm pretty excited about all the lovely royalty money we'll be getting.

I'm so ahead on my writing deadlines

It's not raining again.

Not doing any Spring cleaning today.

I am riding on the winds of change.

I myself am the true creator of this (unjustly obscure) epic:

[Linked Image]

That didn't make me chuckle at all.

Working out at 10:30 PM won't keep you up for hours afterward. Nope.

I don't mind having a bit of a cold. Nope. I don't care that I keep coughing, either.

I hate watching porn

I am surprised that Andy hates watching porn. Among the LWers I think Andy is one of those who would enjoy porn most.

I only watch porn for a class I teach on the subject

In my younger years, I got way more worked up by garden catalogs than p*rn.

I hate when cute guys ask me out.

Flamingos and tigers make excellent pets.

I'm not at all paranoid about injuring my eyes.

I enjoy packing for moving

The longer days here in Europe are not messing with my body clock.

I am not enjoying some of the shameless flirting my students are doing

I am not wondering if the flirting is with each other, or with Andy

My allergies aren't bugging me at all today

The Grand Canyon is called that because the US government paid the Apache nation $1,000.00 for it.

As a full-blooded Apache myself, I can vouch for the veracity of Quislet, Esq's comment.

As a second cousin to Cleome, I cannot, in good conscience, make the same claim

As Myg's 435,287th cousin twice removed, I dispute his genealogy expertise.

I think addressing discrimination is not important at all.

As someone who was raised by the greatest genealogical expert in history, I admit I am only moderately skilled in the area

I would hate to have super powers.

Columbia University in New York was founded by Christopher Columbus

We FIlipinos make ketchup ONLY from bananas.

I've never tried banana ketchup.

Originally Posted by Myg - Andy S

As a second cousin to Cleome, I cannot, in good conscience, make the same claim

The temporary board collapse does not account for my interminable absence from Legion World. I was, in fact, lounging on the French Riviera while counting all my gold.

Spring allergies don't exist

I hate spending time with the first love of my life

I love taking on a customer service job.

I love when people ask me to do more things

I detest bell peppers and carrots.

My dog hates bell peppers and carrots too!

I am not ambivalent about being compared to Myg's dog

My dog is my least favorite thing in the world

I love arguing with people. I'm a born debater

I love hosting parties

I don't wish that I stayed until the end of the party last night.

I hate coffee

I don't need coffee

This donut's not good. I probably won't even finish it.

Bumping threads is a sin.

I'm glad that I haven't had time to post here lately.

Kappa adds nothing to our space when he's here.

I am not at all claustrophobic.

I hate summertime.

I do not want to see the world.

I will never post on Legion World again.

I love shopping

I also love shopping

Both Myg & Invisible Brainiac are my personal shoppers.

I love shopping for Quis. But sometimes I am scandalized by the things he asks me to buy.

Everyone needs to PM me their shopping lists now that I'm so loaded I can buy whatever I want.

Yay! I will send mine over by carrier pigeon

I sleep in until 10 AM every morning. It's great.

Chris Pine found me on Grindr. But he is wayyy too needy.

These chocolate-pecan meringue cookies I made last night are awful.

I love hot weather

Give me bitterly cold raw damp weather

It is easy to satisfy everybody all the time

I love the workplace politics at my job.

I'm not anxious about all these transitions AT ALL.

I find it so easy to keep in shape. I never wonder how other people can manage it.

Eating a 100% healthy diet is so easy, too. People must be crazy to like junk food and dessert.

I don't long to start a Health At Every Size thread on Legion World. I'm sure tons of people would participate and it wouldn't just be me talking to myself all the time.

I would hate being able to fly

I never do anything without consulting Gwyneth Paltrow for guidance.

Direct sunlight makes me more energetic

Originally Posted by cleome51

I never do anything without consulting Gwyneth Paltrow for guidance.

That is very sensible of you

I have become a Breatherian

Life is fair

I am not bumping this thread back to page 1

I hate this thread

I hate everything, but especially this thread

I hate everyone and everything!

I'm going to do the dishes immediately and postpone all the fun stuff.

I love chores!

My chores for the day are already done. I can now lounge in the shade until dinnertime, reading gardening catalogs and eating ice cream. Woo!

I sent my maid to help cleome out. The house boy had to remain. He still had chores to do.

How nice of the house boy to televise the chores he does for you

I really think all this humidity is really helping my asthma this year.

I hate working in excel

All must kneel before me for I am the world's foremost Excel expert.

Cleome taught me how to use macros!

Those Re-Reading The Archives threads all suck. I'm glad I'm not participating, d'you hear me?!?! GLAD!!!!

My boyfriend sucks badly.

No need to hesitate before adding anything to the comment above this one.

I always think carefully before I say things.

My big mouth never gets me into any trouble, online, or off.

People are always so understanding about what we say

Well, I'm the perfect companion who never gets grouchy and never forgets to do stuff. So if there's any problems it's all their fault.

Yeah, anyone who gets offended by anything is totally at fault!

I'm very quick to tell people when they've said something offensive. I never hem and haw and then retreat quietly. I'm the biggest badass on the internet.

I also never worry about what I said - whether it was appropriate or clearly understood or could be misinterpreted as backstabbing and gossip! I never have to care what other people think!

These cheezy "sculptures" made of found rocks, pavers, and cinderblocks set out in the side yard to look at while I goof off online don't amuse me at all.

I love cockroaches. Adorable animals.

I regret losing sleep to stay up and tinker with the tools I have to return to the Tool Library first thing Saturday morning.

cleome is such a tool

AND the world's biggest fan of the band Tool.

I woke up in a puddle of drool

After selling a bunch of term papers at school

I am not nervous AT ALL about moving into a new apartment next week. Everything is set up

cleome will loan you a tool, Myg

Myg loves all kinds of tools.

I can get them for him wholesale.

I know a nice drill Myg would like. Myg likes getting things drilled.

Originally Posted by Invisible Brainiac

I know a nice drill Myg would like. Myg likes getting things drilled.

This is not a lie!

Unless you don't know a nice drill! AGH thread rules!!!!

I regret moving out of NYC

well, i wasn't sure if you wanted to be drilled or to be the one drilling. I'm not judgmental that way

Can't I do both?

I could stick to the rules and say I only do one or the other

I am locking this thread

Everyone believed you.

Would I lie to you?

I have an unclear and biased opinion of that.

Looking forward to those in-the-hundreds daytime temps later this week.

You're so lucky to have a natural sauna.

I can't wait for the cold weather to come back.

I love when it's hot and I sweat buckets

I use the buckets of sweat from IB to water my hydrangeas.

I am glad my sweat is useful for someone

My failing eyesight isn't causing me any problems in daily life.

I never worry about my eyes

Even though temps will remain high for at least another week, I swear this iced coffee in front of me is my last one this year.

Also, I refuse to fill the ice trays again this week because it's such a darn nuisance and not worth the trouble at all.

I LOVE UNPACKING !!!!

So do I! I love it even more than packing!

I kidnapped the Lindbergh baby.

I grew a third arm

This CD is awful and without a doubt the worst dollar I ever spent at a thrift shop:

I am full of energy today!

I love decorating my new apartment! It's cheap, and simple, and fun!

I never have trouble sleeping

This is the day I give up gardening forever. Instead, I will take up hunting endangered animals, and taxidermy.

I always accomplish everything I plan to do every day.

Me, too!!

It's so nice to be so efficient!

I never dwell on things I didn't do. Ever.

We are all robots!

I don't want to see my new office today. Nope. Not at all.

I love traffic jams

Obsessing every day over the weather forecast in hopes of even a light drizzle is a super-reasonable way to live.

I don't miss Filipino food one bit

I stole all that delicious but overpriced summer fruit instead of purchasing it, then fled on my skateboard.

I am not excited to spend the next few weeks exploring the best of Paris.

Well I'm not jealous AT ALL of Ibby in Paris

Yeah, a trip to Paris wouldn't be any fun. I'd just end up sitting in the nearest Starbucks every day, texting to everyone about how bored I was.

It isn't at all like a vacation for me. I'm not content to explore Paris while my classmates are off in their home towns or backpacking around wherever.

This is not a lie.

My mind exploded

This is true

This is false

I feel better at 50 than I did at 30.

I love having dirt stuck in my ears, which apparently have very narrow and weird openings such that all the ENTs i've seen are baffled

I also love dirt stuck in Ibby's ears

It's very pleasant

I post on Legion World as much as I ought.

I never feel bored

Transitions like a new job and moving cross country are simple and easy

I don't feel sick at all today

Of all the presidents William Henry Harrison was the worst.

Being physically fit is easy!

I don't post wordplay and poo jokes when I'm having trouble getting my thoughts in focus.

I don't like just lying in bed all day every once in a while

Really sad that soon we'll have our final kitchen redesign plan selected, and that by next year this dump site I'm forced to cook food in will be history.

European guys are not alluring

Nothing is more relaxing for me than to go fishing.

I hate going out with friends

Where I live in San Diego (North Park) and where my brother lives (El Cajon) are EXACTLY the same

North Park is not also the name of a Chinese restaurant chain in the Philippines

Invisible Brainiac loves 8 am classes. He wishes all his classes started that early or even earliier

I do not want to hibernate this weekend.

I am unsure about taking it easy this weekend

I hate learning new languages

I really regret that Caesar salad with fresh-broiled salmon I had for dinner. It was terrible.

(Special wee small hours Bonus Lie, included at no extra charge: )

Alcohol does not make me sick at all

I drink 3 bottles of wine a day. I also down a bottle of whiskey every morning for breakfast.

no estoy enfermo

je ne suis pas malade

I am not sick

I never worry about anybody on the LMB when they say they're not feeling well. I'm sure they just make this stuff up because they know I love worrying.

I love listening to Barbra Streisand just as much as my other half does. There are just not enough hours in a day to her sing everything multiple times.

Mem'ries light the corners of my mind
Misty water-colored mem'ries of the way we were
Scattered pictures of the smiles we left behind
Smiles we gave to one another for the way we were
Can it be that it was all so simple then
Or has time rewritten every line
If we had the chance to do it all again, tell me, would we, could we
Mem'ries may be beautiful and yet
What's too painful to remember
We simply choose to forget
So it's the laughter we will remember
Whenever we remember the way we were
The way we were

I am totally still sick now!

I am dead.

I lost my pet anaconda.

I love sitting at home alone while my other half is rehearsing for the upcoming "Jack The Ripper: The White Chapel Murders" musical.

I hate the color green

The Atlantic Ocean is only 300 feet deep at its deepest part.

People often confuse me for Chris Helmsworth.

Oddly, people also confuse me for Chris Helmsworth

Chris Hemsworth confuses me for Jfposey and Myg - Andy S

Chris is such a funny guy. And he always remembers my birthday

I always sign a birthday card to IB as Chris Helmsworth.

Now I know why I get two cards from Chris every year!

Chris Evans is locked in my basement

I cracked my head open

I totally understand my weird brain, which is shouting at me to drop picture-making and go get back to the fanfic which won't ever be finished anyway and which only six people on the planet ever actually read parts of.

(For some reason, it seemed indifferent on this front in the years when I wasn't producing pictures.)

Other brain-things I totally understand: the part which sulks at getting only 5-6 viewers one day, and then freaks out the next day thinking 7-8 viewers is too many and the only way to cope with all this pressure is to delete everything.

Brains are so terrific.

I wouldn't much rather be some moss on a secluded oak or perhaps a periwinkle happily sunning itself on an isolated shoreline rock. Nope.

I love having a cold

Nothing repulses me more than Haagen Dazs Vanilla Chocolate Chip ice cream

I am so regretting attending this LGBT conference

IB is going to be so disappointed on Sunday

Today is Sunday

I hate Sundays

I will be going to the Antarctic as part of a research expedition.

My body clock is not messed up at all

The moon landing was faked. They actually landed on Jupiter.

I have so much willpower. I am sticking to my diet so well.

Would you believe 2 ninjas are behind you?

I am not lazy to go out

All the yardwork is done and I won't have to go out in the rain and mud for the rest of the year.

I am not getting better at dealing with trolls and jerks online