It looks like I'll have to do this myself.
Pov said he was going to start rumors about me while I was headed home from his place (and thus unable to dipute them)
So please feel free to gossip about me and/or start rumors about me on this thread.
Can you believe the guy won't eat a proper pizza?!
So what's on an improper pizza?
I don't know him well but I heard lots of things. The infamous private msg stories of why he calls himself Quislet, Esq.
Originally posted by Ultra Jorge:
I don't know him well but I heard lots of things. The infamous private msg stories of why he calls himself Quislet, Esq.
"msg"???? Chinese food had nothing to do with calling myself "Quislet, Esq."
One word, two syllables: truckstop.
There's a reason Boston finally broke that curse in 2003, and rumor is its pretty under-handed. I'm just sayin'.
Quislet kicks blind puppy's.......it's TRUE!!!
Oh brother...you guys are so typical...
Besides, i heard he actually eats lip-balm instead of using it normally...thats strange!
Those fired federal prosecutors? He's got the smoking gun.
Quis's Kung Fu--inferior to mine!
Did you see what he was wearing?
Originally posted by Lard Lad:
Quis's Kung Fu--inferior to mine!
See if I spoil you rotten again.
wanna know the real reason no one ever found WMDs in Iraq? Quis knows, but he ain't telling.
Did you hear about his toes? What's that about???
There was that photo of Quis and Anna Nicole in a swan boat last summer....
"You're such a Quislet": you like wearing a pink thong, high heels and fishnets while watching Alex Trebek.
"I'll take 'Kinky Lawyers' for $200, Alex."
Quislet?
Or Quisling?
(sometimes you gotta go for the classics)
Originally posted by Dream Girl:
Oh brother...you guys are so typical...
Besides, i heard he actually eats lip-balm instead of using it normally...thats strange!
MMMMM.... cherry flavor.
Originally posted by Ram Boy:
"You're such a Quislet": you like wearing a pink thong, high heels and fishnets while watching Alex Trebek.
and sometimes you watch Alex without anything on.
Originally posted by Eryk Davis Ester:
Quislet?
Or Quisling?
(sometimes you gotta go for the classics)
I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords.
(bonus points for whomever recognizes the quote.)
Quis Brockman.
I like the sound of that.
Phew! The rumor and gossip mill seems to have run their course.
Pssst!
I heard the rumour that the last guy who started a rumour about Quislet was found floating in a huge vat of melted chocolate, face down i'm telling you face down.
I'll need protection after this because...Arghhhhhhhh...............
Hmph. sounds like Darden strained his back again.
Originally posted by Kent Shakespeare:
Hmph. sounds like Darden strained his back again.
I think this comment belongs in the "Rumor and Gossip about Faraway LAd" thread.
There is a rumor that I promise bonus points but never give them.
Would you like to double your bonus points?
Aha! A gambling problem....
I heard (on the street, of course) that The Quis is clean-living and non-controversial.
Clean?
Quis likes rolling in the Arkansas mud with good ole boys named Jake.
Sounds fairly controversial, too, for a Bible Belt state.
Originally posted by Quislet, Esq.:
There is a rumor that I promise bonus points but never give them.
This rumor appears to be true.
His cat Belinda belongs to a coven.
Whether he's clean or whether he's muddy, just be careful what you say around "Quislet,Esq". He includes EVERYTHING in his report to DC.
Originally posted by Fat Cramer:
His cat Belinda belongs to a coven.
I heard it was a cult...
Originally posted by Pov:
Clean?
Quis likes rolling in the Arkansas mud with good ole boys named Jake.
Sounds fairly controversial, too, for a Bible Belt state.
Jake never got in the mud.
Originally posted by Outdoor Miner:
Originally posted by Quislet, Esq.:
[b]There is a rumor that I promise bonus points but never give them.
Have you looked in your bonus points box?
He has the complete collection of Anne Murray albums.
Originally posted by Quislet, Esq.:
Shhhh......
.....as "You Needed Me" plays in the backround.
I cried a tear
You wiped it dry
I was confused
You cleared my mind
I sold my soul
You bought it back for me
And held me up and gave me dignity
Somehow you needed me.
See?
Evil.
What more proof is necessary?
God...that Anne Murray--what a bitch!
Originally posted by Outdoor Miner:
See?
Evil.
What more proof is necessary?
What more evidence do we need?
Judas, thank you for the victim.
Stay a while and you'll see him bleed!
In Halifax today, I saw a guy who looked exactly like Quis! Was he on his way to the Anne Murray Museum?
Originally posted by Quislet, Esq.:
I cried a tear
You wiped it dry
I was confused
You cleared my mind
I sold my soul
You bought it back for me
And held me up and gave me dignity
Somehow you needed me.
Who in their right mind NEEDS to deal with that list of crap?
Originally posted by Fat Cramer:
In Halifax today, I saw a guy who looked exactly like Quis! Was he on his way to the Anne Murray Museum?
Wait, there's an Anne Murray Museum?
That's not a museum. Its a Centre.
Quislet is a wonderfully gracious wonderful human being and I find this thread and it's contents SCANDALOUS! In fact the person who started it should be dipped in butter and marched threw Death Valley! Along with Anne Murray!
Originally posted by Quislet, Esq.:
That's not a museum. Its a Centre.
Yeah, whatever.
We've been spending all this time blowing up Cobalt Kid statues when there's a freakin' Anne Murray Centre out there?
Quislet Esq.! The sentients of Legion World demand to know why you never ate pizza! Please respond. Or do we have to get a subpoena?
I think it has to do with his unnatural antipathy toward the divine entity known as the tomato.
Originally posted by Outdoor Miner:
Originally posted by Quislet, Esq.:
[b]That's not a museum. Its a Centre.
We've been spending all this time blowing up Cobalt Kid statues when there's a freakin' Anne Murray Centre out there?[/b]I suspect a Greenlandic conspiracy.
I am SHOCKED!!!
HOW COULD YOU???
A gossip page?
ABOUT QUIS????
That Prince amongst men?
The King of the keyboards??
The Lord of the Legion???
Hang you heads in shame Legion Worlders!!
Is THIS how we treat our beloved friend?
Is this how honour the greatest Legion Worlder to ever draw breath??
WELL!!
IS IT???????
And more importantly....
Has anyone mentioned that rumour about him, the hot dog man and the bucket of soapy frogs?...
Originally posted by Ram Boy:
Quislet is a wonderfully gracious wonderful human being and I find this thread and it's contents SCANDALOUS! In fact the person who started it should be dipped in butter and marched threw Death Valley! Along with Anne Murray!
I didn't start the thread, but I volunteer to march naked after being dipped in butter as an act of Legion World solidarity.
Originally posted by walkwithcrowds:
I am SHOCKED!!!
HOW COULD YOU???
A gossip page?
ABOUT QUIS????
That Prince amongst men?
The King of the keyboards??
The Lord of the Legion???
Hang you heads in shame Legion Worlders!!
Is THIS how we treat our beloved friend?
Is this how honour the greatest Legion Worlder to ever draw breath??
WELL!!
IS IT???????
And more importantly....
Has anyone mentioned that rumour about him, the hot dog man and the bucket of soapy frogs?...
I completely missed the "Soapy Frogs" part...
But the Quis and the Hot Dog Man rumors have been making the rounds for quite a while now.
I heard Quislet Esq. sponsors illegal Protean death matches on the rooftop terrace of the Super Law Firm of Space.
Originally posted by Tamper Lad:
I heard Quislet Esq. sponsors illegal Protean death matches on the rooftop terrace of the Super Law Firm of Space.
All because they look like doughy crust pizza leftovers.
Originally posted by Fat Cramer:
Quislet Esq.! The sentients of Legion World demand to know why you never ate pizza! Please respond. Or do we have to get a subpoena?
There is a possibility that I did consume pizza when I was a young child and I just don't remember it. They say sometimes traumatic experiences can be repressed.
Originally posted by walkwithcrowds:
I am SHOCKED!!!
HOW COULD YOU???
A gossip page?
ABOUT QUIS????
That Prince amongst men?
The King of the keyboards??
The Lord of the Legion???
Hang you heads in shame Legion Worlders!!
Is THIS how we treat our beloved friend?
Is this how honour the greatest Legion Worlder to ever draw breath??
WELL!!
IS IT???????
And more importantly....
Has anyone mentioned that rumour about him, the hot dog man and the bucket of soapy frogs?...
It was toads, not frogs.
Originally posted by Lad Boy:
Originally posted by Ram Boy:
[b]Quislet is a wonderfully gracious wonderful human being and I find this thread and it's contents SCANDALOUS! In fact the person who started it should be dipped in butter and marched threw Death Valley! Along with Anne Murray!
I assume that you would like to be dipped naked in butter at the same time the person who started this thread is dipped.
Originally posted by Tamper Lad:
I heard Quislet Esq. sponsors illegal Protean death matches on the rooftop terrace of the Super Law Firm of Space.
Those are death races, not death marches.
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
Originally posted by Tamper Lad:
[b]I heard Quislet Esq. sponsors illegal Protean death matches on the rooftop terrace of the Super Law Firm of Space.
Actually it is because of their fanatical love of Anne Murray.
Blind Item:
What LMBPer of a judicial nature was seen on craig's list?
His "List"
Is that what you're calling it these days?
Yes. Which LMBer was seen on Craigs "List"?
Originally posted by Quislet, Esq.:
What LMBPer of a judicial nature was seen on craig's list?
Pov? No wait, is this a trick question? If it is I change my answer to ALL of them. All the LMBPers were seen on Craig's List!
ITEM!
Quis was just seen giving aid and comfort to the French!
Death to the French. Long live his Britanic Majesty King George III
Originally posted by Kent Shakespeare:
ITEM!
Quis was just seen giving aid and comfort to the French!
A slight correction....
Quis was seen frenching and giving comfort to the aides!
That is a comfort that many of us would like to get behind!
Originally posted by Vee:
Originally posted by Kent Shakespeare:
[b]ITEM!
Quis was just seen giving aid and comfort to the French!
Quis was seen frenching and giving comfort to the aides! [/b]...that's not necessarily a different thing...
Originally posted by Faraway Lad:
Death to the French. Long live his Britanic Majesty King George III
Psst. Faraway Lad. I'm just going deep undercover.
Thats OK then. As long as us true patriots stick together against these republican monsters
I wouldn't describe them as monsters. They are pretty average size. OH! were you talking politics?
As any true loyal subject of His majesty knows any Frenchman who espouses republicanism and executes his lawful monarch is of necessity a monster.
Rest assured I will never execute my lawful monarch. Especially if he is as cute as Prince William.
I can't believe it, Quis is a...TORY!
(That still doesn't explain his unnatural regard for Miss Anne Murray, but we might be getting warmer)
No, no, my undercover name was Troy, not Tory. Although Tory as a name sounds more preppy than Troy. Still, people might then mistake me for Tori Spelling. Her hubby is cute, but not cute enough that I want to be mistaken for Tori Spelling. On the other hand, I'd rather be mistaken for Tori Spelling than for Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan. I mean her dad did give us "The New People".
So are you're claiming that you're NOT a royalist sympathizer with the hots for Prince William, who longs for the day when the United States reverts back to British control, and Anne Murray is on top of the charts again?
Yes. I do not long for the day when the United States reverts back to British control, but am actively working on that. (noise from offstage) What? I wasn't supposed to say that? Oh! Sorry Anne.
Um... um... oh look at the grouse!!
so... how long has this Quis/Prince William thing been going on, then?
It isn't, if you believe Palace sources.
Betty and Phil are a charming couple.
"I don't want to hear another disparagin' remark come out of any of you alls mouths about my good friend and fellow Young Republican, Quislet, Esq." -Larry Storch
I don't know what to make of this, but I just got off the phone with Larry's agent. Larry didn't even call Quis "Esquire", he actually said the "E" "S" and "Q". Well at least he didn't call you Judy.
Originally posted by Fat Cramer:
So what's on an improper pizza?
Pineapple or Chicken.
Originally posted by minesurfer:
"I don't want to hear another disparagin' remark come out of any of you alls mouths about my good friend and fellow Young Republican, Quislet, Esq." -Larry Storch
I don't know what to make of this, but I just got off the phone with Larry's agent. Larry didn't even call Quis "Esquire", he actually said the "E" "S" and "Q". Well at least he didn't call you Judy. Ah! Those days in Tijuana with Larry and Tuck
so... has everyone heard?
Quis is so anti-Pastafarianism that he lumps it together with Rastafarianism!
...and he doesn't like Ampersands.
I heard it was Amsterdam...
It is ampersands in Amsterdam. Otherwise Amsterdam is a beautiful city and ampersands are important punctuation.
Amsterdam ampersands, eh? You mean... Hash & Weed!
When Quiselt, Esq. changes his avatar, the old one explodes.
or implodes, which is so much neater.
Actually, if you carefully peel my current avatar off the screen, you'll find the old ones underneath. You need strong fingernails to peel it off though.
He really is Michael Moore - and he's funnier in person.
Quis is our Michael Moore! but one less likely to get sidetracked from fact (stil... Mr. Muggles over lesbians? puh-leez).
I'm confused, I thought Quiz was our Mary Tyler Moore.
Originally posted by Fat Cramer:
He really is Michael Moore - and he's funnier in person.
Yes, but looks aren't everything.
Originally posted by Kent Shakespeare:
Quis is our Michael Moore! but one less likely to get sidetracked from fact (stil... Mr. Muggles over lesbians? puh-leez).
How do you know that Mr. Muggles isn't a lesbian?
Originally posted by Ram Boy:
I'm confused, I thought Quiz was our Mary Tyler Moore.
You toss a knitted beret into the air just once and you get typecasted forever. OK three tosses is all I'll admit to.
don't worry, Quis. You're going to make it after all.
Originally posted by Kent Shakespeare:
don't worry, Quis. You're going to make it after all.
That is only a rumor.
This just in!
Quis doesn't care if he gets beat up by Batman or Chuck Norris.
Originally posted by Kent Shakespeare:
This just in!
Quis doesn't care if he gets beat up by Batman or Chuck Norris.
Not true. I'd rather get beaten by Batman. He is much cuter.
But Chuck would drink you both under the table!
What if Quis was really Batman's lawyer?
Quis and Kent shound switch avatars. Quis was born in the year of the Tiger.
Originally posted by KryptonKid:
Quis and Kent shound switch avatars. Quis was born in the year of the Tiger.
I have been known to change my avatar.
Originally posted by Kent Shakespeare:
so.... wanna trade?
No. I'll just take.
Really confusing avatars, guys.... now you can start posting with each other's personality.
Originally posted by KryptonKid:
Quis and Kent shound switch avatars. Quis was born in the year of the Tiger.
Just wondering, does this mean Kent was born in the year of the Pete Ross?
His emergency dash to the hospital the other night was really because of an encounter with the Russian mafia.
I read that on the Internet, so it must be true!
Originally posted by Fat Cramer:
His emergency dash to the hospital the other night was really because of an encounter with the Russian mafia.
I only shared a cab with those guys. I did get a nice set of nesting dolls though.
the traditional kind, or the Elvis ones, with young, thin Elvis on the inside, and old, fat Elvis on the outside?
Originally posted by Kent Shakespeare:
the traditional kind, or the Elvis ones, with young, thin Elvis on the inside, and old, fat Elvis on the outside?
The traditional Elvis one. With Elvis wearing various colored babushkas.
Quislet has not yet dropped out of either of the Presidential primaries, despite having not campaigned in a single state.
Could this strategy work yet?
I'll bet he expects all us comic-book geeks to turn the tide on Super Tuesday.
Originally posted by Eryk Davis Ester:
Quislet has not yet dropped out of either of the Presidential primaries, despite having not campaigned in a single state.
Could this strategy work yet?
I'll be releasing the negatives to the press shortly before the conventions. I figure the outrage will allow me victory in both conventions. The hard part will be running against myself in the election. I mean, I know where all the bodies are buried and I'll have proven that I am not afraid to use that type of information.
Originally posted by Kent Shakespeare:
I'll bet he expects all us comic-book geeks to turn the tide on Super Tuesday.
No. Only the ones with gravity powers will be able to turn the tide.
Item!
Quis represented a group of lemurs, and conspired to have his own clients found guilty!
Moreover, he planned to dispose of his disgruntles clients by using them in a proposed apocalpystic battle between his two favorite singers, Anne Murray and Celine Dion!
Is there no end to his treachery?
There's a rumor floating about that Quis is soon to be the target of an assassination attempt by both PETA and the NSPL (National Society for the Protection of Lemurs).
And the previously unknown country of Lemurland isn't too pleased with him either.
Lemurland has withdrawn its Boston consolate staff in response to Quis' behavior. A severe rebuke indeed.
Originally posted by Kent Shakespeare:
Item!
Quis represented a group of lemurs, and conspired to have his own clients found guilty!
Moreover, he planned to dispose of his disgruntles clients by using them in a proposed apocalpystic battle between his two favorite singers, Anne Murray and Celine Dion!
Is there no end to his treachery?
Really, if I wanted to get rid of some pesky lemurs, do you really think I wouldn't have some more imaginative plan?
Originally posted by Teronna:
There's a rumor floating about that Quis is soon to be the target of an assassination attempt by both PETA and the NSPL (National Society for the Protection of Lemurs).
And the previously unknown country of Lemurland isn't too pleased with him either.
Both PETA and NSPL know that I hold the negatives and my death will result in their release.
Lemurland is quite happy with me now that I have arranged all conventions to be held in their capital city, Prosimian. I have also secured them royalty rights to such films as "Ghost", "Phantom Menance", "Ghostbusters", and "Scooby-Doo and the Witch's Ghost".
Originally posted by Kent Shakespeare:
Lemurland has withdrawn its Boston consolate staff in response to Quis' behavior. A severe rebuke indeed.
They vacated their current Boston office only in order to have a new Consulate built. The new Consulate will be the highest building in the world and feature a 100 foot statue of a lemur on top.
That 100 ft lemur statue would be great in a King Kong sequel!
Maybe Quis can help them secure rights to that movie too.
These days he's working on a special wiretapping job...
Originally posted by Fat Cramer:
These days he's working on a special wiretapping job...
I resent these unfounded rumors.
Oh and Fat Cramer, I heard a drip in your bathroom. You may want to have that checked out.
PS. Leave the "flowers" on the back of the toilet.
Originally posted by Quislet, Esq.:
Oh and Fat Cramer, I heard a drip in your bathroom. You may want to have that checked out.
Are those nice Watergate plumbers available?
Originally posted by Fat Cramer:
Originally posted by Quislet, Esq.:
[b]Oh and Fat Cramer, I heard a drip in your bathroom. You may want to have that checked out.
[Richard Nixon] I am not a plumber!!!! [/Richard Nixon]
Originally posted by Fat Cramer:
Originally posted by Quislet, Esq.:
[b]Oh and Fat Cramer, I heard a drip in your bathroom. You may want to have that checked out.
[Richard Nixon] I am not a plumber!!!! [/Richard Nixon]
I hear Eliot Spitzer is looking for work.
Psst--I think Clive and Quis are an item!
Does Sir Roy know?
Originally posted by Lard Lad:
Psst--I think Clive and Quis are an item!
Does Sir Roy know?
Actually Clive and Sir Roy are the item. I just like to watch them.
Well...they DID spend a lot of time together on The Path while Clive was still a robot...
Item!
I've heard Obi-Wan Kenobi has refused Quis' pleas for help.
Apparently the ol' Jedi is a fervent lemur-rights supporter, and Quis has pissed him off royally...
I knew his lemur hatred would come back to bite him in the butt!
Originally posted by Kent Shakespeare:
Item!
I've heard Obi-Wan Kenobi has refused Quis' pleas for help.
Apparently the ol' Jedi is a fervent lemur-rights supporter, and Quis has pissed him off royally...
He said he had a prior commitment to help some princess. I guess I wasn't queeny enough for him.
Originally posted by Teronna:
I knew his lemur hatred would come back to bite him in the butt!
Rumors of my lemur hatred have been greatly exaggerated.
I love lemurs. They are my favorite prosimian from Madagascar. I happen to have one here. (aside to aide "Are the photographers all set up?")
*Quislet, Esq. picks up a lemur by the scruff of its neck and dangles it over the side of the third floor balcony he is on so that the crowd can see the lemur*
Watch out for that PETA sniper!
PETA sniper? Does that refer to: 1) a PETA member gunning for an offender against animal rights, 2) someone trying to gun down a PETA member or 3) a PETA advocate for the very real animal species of snipe that are often hunted in a cruel coming-of-age ritual?!?!?
or 4) a PETA member who constantly snipes at everything you say.
Every option, except for 2.
That reminds me, I heard a rumor that Quis and a PETA member went into a dark alley, and only Quis returned...
Originally posted by Teronna:
Every option, except for 2.
That reminds me, I heard a rumor that Quis and a PETA member went into a dark alley, and only Quis returned...
It wasn't that dark. There was enough light to see that witch turn the PETA member into a mouse.
Psst.
Quis is secretly Non Sequitor.
The level of rumor and gossip about me sure has fallen.
Originally posted by Quislet, Esq.:
The level of rumor and gossip about me sure has fallen.
I had heard that's because the
real Quislet, Esq. - notorious for inspiring rumors and gossip - actually paid off a far less scandalous look-alike to take his place back in March of '08, while he fled the spotlight for parts unknown.
At least... that what I heard.
I heard that those unknown parts turned out to be a clothing optional community somewhere in Florida, and that he's known as "Chief Chimichanga" there.
Proctor & Gamble has chosen Quislet, Esq. as their spokesperson for sunscreen.
I heard it from a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend that Quislet, Esq. drinks whey.
Quis was a member of the Funky Bunch ...
Coincidentally, he also dated the Bunch-of-Grapes guy from Fruit of the Loom.
It didn't well.
I heard that Quislet likes Creamsicles!
Reading back, there were some pretty wild rumors floating around.
Quis didn't write the songs that make the whole world sing, but he did proofread most of them for correct spelling and grammar.
He let Cobie handle the punk and metal stuff.
ex-CIA.
but don't tell anyone.
Originally posted by Power Boy:
ex-CIA.
but don't tell anyone.
he was expelled from the Culinary Institute of America!?
tomatoes must have been a required part of the curriculum.
Qius's hatred for tomatoes goes back to his junior year in college and a rather bizzare incident in the library involving a hot italian and some sausage...
Originally posted by Abin Quank:
Qius's hatred for tomatoes goes back to his junior year in college and a rather bizzare incident in the library involving a hot italian and some sausage...
Quis lined up Cobie as Abin's spelling coach.
I heard Quis and his personal trainer, Benjamin Grimm, were leaving their gym to start up their own business ...
I hear that the whole bad tooth thing is just a cover for Quis' current secret mission with the Costa Rican Navy.
If he comes back from the dentist with a deep tan, well, we'll know for sure won't we?
He's already being coy about the name of his "dental assistant" over in Spaceopoly.
Clearly it's all a cover story.
I hear the dental assistant is the "anchor baby" of two Bismollian dissidents. Quislet keeps the parental units sheltered from dictatorial authorities using his crack team of Immigration lawyers. In return, the assistant does all his dirty work on Earth, without asking any awkward questions.
Originally posted by BatBoy:
I heard Quis and his personal trainer, Benjamin Grimm, were leaving their gym to start up their own business ...
It's a Gym Thing
Organizers of the Boston Marathon have invited him to run in the next race.
I heard that Quis has to wear a mask most of the time because of his uncanny resemblance to Brad Pitt.
Originally posted by future king:
I heard that Quis has to wear a mask most of the time because of his uncanny resemblance to Brad Pitt.
and Cher played his mother in the movie version of his young life.
I hear that his video of Belinda lip-synching "Pretty In Pink" while wearing a fetching chappeau is the hottest thing on YouTube this month!
I just heard from my FedEx guy (Nick Manwood) that whenever he has to deliver a package to Quis' home, Quis ALWAYS answers the door wearing a red silk mini-kimono and fun fur flip-flops.
Not only THAT, but the FedEx guy (Nick Manwood) also says that he's never seen Quis without a Singapore Sling in his hand.
I remember he showed me his expenses spreadsheet from SDCC and all I could think was "Geez, what's all that penicillin for?"
They're about to rename Botox Quistox!
Quis was a covert spy infiltrating the elites of Washington, DC recently.
I believe he came down here to sabotage our Metro system, and then left when he realized anything he did would be redundant.
Beantown still ain't recovered from his Big Dig.
He's also responsible for the cancellation of "Walker, Texas Ranger", despite the rumour that the show ran its course over 8 all-too-long years.
I neither confirm nor deny any of these rumors.
The gossip I confirm and deny.
Psst! Quislet is, in fact, neither Quislet nor Esq.! Discuss amongst yaselves!
Is really the fraternal twin of Mr. George Clooney.
not the famous George Clooney, though. The one who is the butcher at the local Hannaford.*
---
*that's a northeastern US grocery store chain, for those who don't get the ref.
As part of his job as a Russian spy sent to spy on Boston, he's successfully seduced thousands of men, hundreds of women and one file cabinet. For the last one he received the KGB's Lenny Award.
He's suffering from a rare form of Mongolian foot rot.
Quis just signed up for the new season of "The Apprentice".
^he will be playing the role of Donald Trump's comb-over.
"Burn Notice" is a thinly disguised account of Quis' spy activities.
Was photographed by TMZ coming out of a swanky Hollywood nightclub holding hands with Janet Jackson.
Supports himself by being a pimp. Scouts the audiences of daytime talk shows for recruits.
His pimp name is BadDaddy, Esq.
He made a fortune in the 80's selling assorted mesh tops.
His successful "mesh top" business was actually a cover for a sex toy enterprise!
He always wears knee-high boots, tucked under his pant legs so as not to be conspicuous.
He's got legs, and he knows how to use them.
He recently started a petition to bring shoulder pads back to fashion again. Count me in, where do I sign?
Quis has been blackmailing me for years. I've even had to tell my accountant that Quislet, Esq. is my attorney/personal shopper/pastor in order to explain all those checks.
He prefers to mend his ripped clothing with common household glue.
I heard back in the 80's Quis brokered a deal between Doc Brown and some Libyans.
Quis sold his soul to Lucifer07 in exchange for being #1 poster on LW.
Quis cheated Luci07 - he never had a soul to sell.
No soul was taken, instead Quis gave me the Lament Configuration.
And boy Pinhead is not happy with Quis.
too bad. Quis has a thing for pinheads.
Quis is wanted for questioning on Rann, accused of Bootleg Zeta Beams,Manufacturing Impure Intertron. and Silverale Smuggling
Quis is innocent of all the charges Lucifer07 mentions, but is guilty of running a prostitution ring.
Quis keeps voodoo dolls of Lucifer07 and Chief Taylor, oops, I mean Tay-LASH.
The voodoo dolls are actually his inflatable "buddies" Butch and Tom-Tom.
and it's not pins he sticks in them.
Quis knows the RL secret of destroying all cockroaches safely and permanently. However, he won't tell Brainiac 5 because he wants Querl to have the fun of discovering it on his own.
Quis's ex's cousin twice removed is non other than Betty Boop.
5 years ago, during Hurricane Katrina. Quis was having a drinking contest with Major Disaster and Hydro Man in New Orleans, the rest is history.
Picks his nose with other people's fingers.
was last seen in a jungle singing "The Bear Necessities" with a bear of all things.
once tried to subpoena the "they" in the ubiquitous "they say that..." statements.
His left leg is 2 inches shorter than his right leg.
Darkseid is laying low, disguised as Quis's right big toe.
He once travelled to the 31st century and masqueraded as Nightwind for one week.
speaks Albanian, but only in his sleep.
Is responsible for Klingons suddenly getting those weird forehead ridges from the original series the next gen.
Is to blame for M. Night Shyamalan's really crappy movies.
He grew up in a house with three staircases...
Not to mention responsible for the Nuclear explosion near MoonBase Alpha, Sept 13 1999.
...plotted to have KI.T.T. betray Michael along similar lines.
... his mother wears army boots.
He's the final word on which comics are risque enough to merit the infamous "Boston ban."
His carpet and drapes are two VERY different colors.
Is reported to be Justin Bieber's body double.
is engaged to both Jessica Simpson and Prince William.
He's also executive president producer for the show "Dancing With The Stars".
It was either that or trapeze artist.
Has an ongoing affair with Tom Bergeron.
...after he was dumped by Tom Brokaw.
Once tried to make a softdrink from freshly squeezed marshmallows.
is under a court order not to make jokes about sauerkraut.
Already knows the 10,001st freaky lie about Loser Lad. It involves llamas.
is planning retaliation against cleome for spilling the beans on the llamas.
Always takes two steps forward, then one step back (in order to be humble).
works his way through Waitering School as a lawyer.
Dated Bill for whom the Bill of Rights is named.
He's my pa!
Pa, come home! Ma, Grandma Oakey, Grandpa Skeeter an us kidz missus u!
Ol'Yeller Jr too!
(Grandma Tucker don't though an says ur no smarter then a flea on a stone cold possum)
Always wears fake eyelashes when sleeping.
Thinks mascara really is a coward for running.
Always chokes up watching the denouement of The Fish That Saved Pittsburgh.
Dated Cher back when she was a man.
Used a time bubble to pay a visit to his old pal Krona after a few too many rounds taunted him into looking at the Hand of Creation. Yeah that turned out swell, thanks Quis.
I hear a rumor that Quislet has not only a License To Kill, but also a License To Retcon.
Quislet, Esq. was FIRED from his starring role in the Beantown production of La Cage Aux Folles because he has a NASTY temper and would throw his size 12 platform heels at the supporting players.
I hear that it was Quislet who inherited most of Freddie Mercury's estate after the latter passed on. Except for the Koi collection.
Knows what good foot smell is.
I hear that he secretly owns a controlling interest in
The Goodfoot Lounge !
Has secret pictures of NBC/Universal Chairman Jeff Caspin and Phyllis Diller, which he used to get Caprica cancelled.
Is not as scary as a rampaging Sasquatch hellbent on revenge.
He once dated a rampaging sasquatch named Grgarrr.
I hear that his upcoming series on The Food Network will be called, "You Say Tomato, I Say GTFO!"
Is the stylist for alan moores beard
...but was almost fired for using Moore's beard, without permission, as a dragon in a Chinese New Year parade.
...moonlights as Bruce Campbells body double
His naked skydiving club, Moons Over Boston, is planning an eight man formation that will have really have people talking.
Is crazy about Silly Banz.
celebrates Thanksgiving by distributing small pox-infested blankets to people whose lands he wants to steal.
Is rumoured to be the same dress size as Lindsay Lohan.
also rumored to be li lo's nail tech before her last sentencing.
during the summer, moonlights as a Liberace impersonator at a swanky Hyannis nightclub.
Although he gave up swearing and cursing years ago, he still washes his mouth out with soap ... says the flavor has grown on him.
I hear he knows of at least 10,001 healthy and delicious preparations for one's Thanksgiving leftovers.
Has landed the much sought after lead role in Bosom Buddies The Musical.
^Will take Pro-Fem in order to be more convincing as either Buffy or Hildegard.
will lock this thread before it reaches page 20.
In times of emergency has been known to unleash his Dragon's Breath.
I hear he once tried to kill Fanfic Lady and Outdoor Miner with a forklift! (To the gentle strains of Herb Alpert & the Tijuana Brass!)
Recently celebrated his birthday hanging upsidedown the entire day.
Dresses like Gilligan on Thursdays.
Is starring as a naked female Ferengi in the next Star Trek movie.
I hear that his favorite cake is pink angel food, covered over with sliced, brandied kiwi fruit and then set alight.
Is a beauty school dropout.
is amassing a fleet of submarines in order to enact his master plan of conquering Bermuda.
His latest band, "Monkey-Tailed Flying Nuns" is a hit in Japan.
Named his penis Hrista Spjóti just to be irksome.
Coined the phrase "Rom Com."
Knows how many dustbunnies I found under the bed today, but isn't telling.
Quiz originally joined Legion World as Go-Go Boy.
^ As Pov can attest, he is banned from Arkansas for living up to that name.
Moonlights as a stripper and pole dancer.
He was asked by Obama to write legislation declaring January 15 National Comic Book Day.
was fired from the Illuminati for spending too much time on LW.
I hear he really does know how to hide files and heavy-duty explosives inside a hollowed-out poundcake. Very handy for busting one's unjustly framed pals out of the slammer.
He was the only passenger to ever get kicked off the Love Boat for too much lovin'.
(he also rubbed Gopher the wrong way)
But Isaac still serves that drink, "The Magic Q," that the two of them dreamed up that fateful afternoon in N'Awlins.
The cabin he stayed in while on board was nicknamed The Bermuda Let's-Try-It-At-This-Angle.
He's going to be Paul Levitz' guest at ComicCon this year.
Hipsters disdained skinny pants, horn-rimmed eyeglasses, and ironic Seventies facial hair until Quislet, Esq. showed them the way!
Quis took ironic Seventies revivalism even further by singing Peter Frampton's "Show Me the Way" to an audience of none.
Incidentally, Peter Frampton wrote "Show Me the Way" as a tribute to Quis. Frampton was confused at that point in his life and needed Quis' loving, loving guidance to show him the way.
And Quiz did!
I hear he's looking over a four-leaf clover.
Quis secretly replaces the coffee at America's finest restaurants with Folgers' Crystals.
Originally posted by Kent Shakespeare:
Quis secretly replaces the coffee at America's finest restaurants with Folgers' Crystals.
That WAS suppose to be a secret!
Yet he never drinks Folgers' at home.
Originally posted by Kent Shakespeare:
but Belinda does.
hey! This is about rumors and gossip about me. Leave my cat out of it.
Besides, she switched to decaf.
still telling everyone Belinda is your cat? tsk-tsk...
I hear that Quis and Florence Henderson have been BFFs ever since he served as her voice coach for the "Wessonality" ad campaign, back in the late 1970s.
and he later hooked her up with her role in Weird Al's "Amish Paradise" video.
I hear that Quis is first in line to be Thora's Secretary of State if she wins the '12 election.
(Belinda will be Secretary of the Treasury.)
I heard Quis is so scared of cleome that he got Thora to back out rather than see cleome get credit for spilling the beans.
But he propitiated her much as the ancient Japanese did the bloodthirsty Kappa demons, by throwing her favorite food (cucumbers) into the river as she bathed there.
Quislet stopped giving tap-dancing lessons because some of the little old ladies who took the class started stalking him.
I hear that Cibo Matto and Luscious Jackson are locked in a furious bidding war to get him as their opening act for a respective series of reunion shows later this year.
You know why no dogs chase Belinda the cat?
Because Quislet fed the last one who did to that thing chained up in his basement.
On Valentines Day, he sent me a dozen long-stemmed Venus Flytraps.
That thing chained up in Quislet's basement is writing a tell-all. It has lined up the same ghost-writer that Snookie uses.
I hear Bobby Sharp originally wrote "Unchain My Heart" as a tribute to Quislet, Esq.
I heard that Quislet is pursuing a pro bono class action suit against Mondays, on the grounds that it is a cruel way to spend 1/7th of ones life.
I hear he totally fabricated the existence of the word "dupa" just to see if any of us would fall for it.
(I spent several hours at the Polish Festival yesterday, and not once did I hear anyone use the word "dupa." [shakes fist] But the stuffed cabbage was good.)
Changed his email password to 'Oreo,' then sued the Oreo cookie company for violating his privacy, all in a misguided effort to bring back the Hydrox.
Originally posted by cleome46:
I hear he totally fabricated the existence of the word "dupa" just to see if any of us would fall for it.
(I spent several hours at the Polish Festival yesterday, and not once did I hear anyone use the word "dupa." [shakes fist] But the stuffed cabbage was good.)
When I was growing up, I thought Dupa was just another slang term for buttock. I was gobsmacked when I realized it was Polish.
I hear that Quislet, Esq. manages "High Kick," an elite squadron of gorgeous burlesque dancers that are also martial arts champions.
(Now available for bachelor parties, holiday get-togethers, or guarding that priceless gem that's just been moved into your local museum.)
I had to let them all go when I found out that not one of them was a drag queen.
... or that none of them was a biological male.
He turns twenty-five today. In cat years. Or so rumor has it.
(Hence all those catnip cupcakes Belinda ordered from the Harry & David website.)
There are many pictures of him floating around those nasty adult sites!
Originally posted by Invisible Brainiac:
There are many pictures of him floating around those nasty adult sites!
With Quis on them I must say they are quite pleasent to visit
He has started his own version of the Betty Ford Clinic, named after the beloved pet wildebeest: Well-Bred Fred , he kept as a child.
The clinic specializes in "drying out" survivors of addiction to online inanity. Now you all know why nobody's heard from Outdoor Miner, Loser Lad, and countless other prominent posters for so long.
said 'clinic' is actually a dungeon. Treatment includes use of medieval weapons in as many cruel and sadistic ways possible.
Invisible Brainiac, Cobalt Kid and MLLASH are supposed to be his next targets.
His recent vacation to florida was just a ruse.
He was really checking on his logging interests in the Amazon rainforest
He sued the POTUS for breach of contract, but was bought off for a one month all you can eat pass at Krispy Kreme donuts.
Krispy Kreme??????? Please! Dunkin' Donuts rules!
It's only a great dream.... wit' da Kreme!
You just know that Kent Shakespeare is going to pop in here and start raving about Tim Horton's
Dunkin Donuts rules. I wish one was near me.
About 10 yeats ago, I took a trip to Poland with my dad. When we toured Warsaw Old Town, among the American fast food places was a Dunkin Donuts. That blew my mind.
Blueberry Krispy Kreme. Unassailably the best. In my opinion.
We don't even have Krispy Kremes here anymore! I can't think of a single store within 25 miles of here. AND NOW I WANT A BLUEBERRY DONUT.
MMMMMMM.
Quislet Esq is also secretly rickshaw, Conjure Lass and Zoe Saugin.
Not so secretly any more now.
What is secret is the picture of you in my frilly skirt costume!
Why do I keep revealing these secrets about myself?
I hear he's an heir to the Mars™ candy fortune.
Which doesn't explain his Summer home in Hershey, PA. But there you go...
There's chatter on Wall St. that he's dumping all his Mars stock.
But that's only because he's marrying into the Mars family.
You are an alt-Id of Quislet on this board and don't even realise it.
Is a mad scientist and when he heard about the running of the bulls he mixed up a batch of xlax and apple juice.
Wrestles alligators for exercise
... and then skins them so he can make pretty alligator-skin bags.
Is the voice actor who provides the voice for James Earl Jones
He likes to steal candy from babies.
...is considered to intelligent to be a politician, and too honest.
Is a major shareholder in Heinz.
... launched a nuke at North Korea
... launched a nuke at North Korea
I think you heard wrong.
I lunched in the nude at a New Korean restaurant
Oh yes, I've seen the pictures!
That Lotus Fruit didn't get into Metropolis by itself. I'm just sayin'...
Does it have anything to do with him being nude in the Korean restaurant?
I thought you had seen the pictures
Owns a warehouse filled with all that stuff we found in Alan Moore's beard.
I think these rumor need to get a little more creative.
I gave you the best rumors of my life 5-6 years ago, and I'm still waiting for that first paycheck you promised. Pppphhhttt!!
I gave you the best rumors of my life 5-6 years ago, and I'm still waiting for that first paycheck you promised. Pppphhhttt!!
I sent it on my fastest mail-tortoise. My GPS tracker has her 25 miles off of Christmas Island.
Christmas Island
Just in... Quislet inhumanely takes innocent tortises (who can't swim) and throws them into the ocean off the coast of Chirstmas Island!
Quislet goes around burning Christmas trees on Christmas Eve, and steals all the presents underneath.
Quislet is actually a statue from Easter Island, who moves to Christmas Island each year to exploit the gift opportunities.
Quislet said the LGBT community are worse than animals.
Quite a sad outcome for the guy who used to dress up as Yankee Doodle Poodle from the Zoo Crew every Halloween.
The last time he did that, the damages to the city of Boston exceeded the GDP of Belgium. Fortunately, his Poodle mask hid his identity.
Quislet is also plotting to get the United Kingdom kicked out of the European Union.
He's really Boris Johnson. Who knew?
He's really Boris Johnson. Who knew?
Not true. Boris Johnson is really me.
AH! Quislet, Esq. and Boris Johnson, one and the same or vice versa, are really a Jesuit scholar. Something else else like Firestorm, I believe.
Actually, he's Boris Williams, drummer for the Cure during their late-1980s peak.
I am all people named Boris.
We have Quislet to blame for that 1991 tank incident in Moscow.
Are you fictional people named Boris, too? RASKOLNIKOV!!!
Are you fictional people named Boris, too? RASKOLNIKOV!!!
I will never tell.
I am all people named Boris.
Quislet is a gestalt being made up of the minds of all people named Boris.
I hear he donates money to worthy causes every time you bump this thread.
(I just raised a grand to spay and neuter more feral cats this month.)
Quislet's evil twin ... isn't really the evil one
Due to an unfortunate typo in his late Aunt Hortense's will (which could not be posthumously corrected), he stands to inherit a cool 40 Million Dollars when this thread reaches Page 40.
But ONLY if a poster with at least five alts, each possessing the letter "K" somewhere in their names, is responsible for this outcome.
If it's you or me, he only gets 40 Dollars. And if he himself posts the fatal comment, well... maybe I shouldn't divulge that. It's too awful.
It is purely coincidental that Aunt Hortense's signature on her will (and only her will) looks similar to my signature.
I hear Quis has multiple extra nipples!
Inquiring minds want to know how Paladin knows this.
The original concept for Quislet was that there was a creature inside the ship that was just one big sensory organ. Every sensation it received from our universe was one of sheer pleasure. The reason given for it not getting in the book was comic code related. The real reason is that our Quislet threatened to sue. And no one wants to have to deal with Sue.
Quislet has fathered 97 children.
Quislet did not name all 97 children
He doesn't even know all 97 of them
Quislet has fathered 97 children.
I was robbed ..... of my sperm
Quislet did not name all 97 children
After you name one kid "Merriweather" all other names seem pointless.
Well word on the street is that Quislet ... I can't say ... it's too terrible
OK... He actually LOVED DC's New 52
Quislet's favorite character is Superboy-Prime!
Well word on the street is that Quislet ... I can't say ... it's too terrible
OK... He actually LOVED DC's New 52
They made great packing material
Quislet loves packing things.
( ^ Not going there!
)
( ^ Not going there!
)
too late. Your mind already went there
Lardy's mind is always there.
Is this why Lardy and Quis are such good friends?
In this case, absence does not make the heart grow fonder
While it's Lardy who boasts the famous Feet Vision, Quis is the only guy whose superpower makes any nice shoe on the sales rack fit his feet perfectly.
It looks like I'll have to do this myself.
Pov said he was going to start rumors about me while I was headed home from his place (and thus unable to dipute them)
So please feel free to gossip about me and/or start rumors about me on this thread.
Did you hear that Quis kidnapped Pov?
It looks like I'll have to do this myself.
Pov said he was going to start rumors about me while I was headed home from his place (and thus unable to dipute them)
So please feel free to gossip about me and/or start rumors about me on this thread.
Did you hear that Quis kidnapped Pov?
Pfft! Pov is no kid! Although he does like a nice nap.
Gasp! Pov was adult-napped!
I heard that Quis wouldn't be logging on until Tuesday, so we can gossip as much as we like until then.
We WILL be in trouble once he gets back, though. I hear he went weapons-shopping.
Watch out for tar, feathers and rubber ducks when he comes back.
Get ready, thothy. Get ready for rubber ducky retribution!
Nobody has ever seen Quis and David Bowie in the same place at the same time. Coincidence? I think not!
I heard that Quis wouldn't be logging on until Tuesday, so we can gossip as much as we like until then.
And this is all the gossip you had about me?
Nobody has ever seen Quis and David Bowie in the same place at the same time. Coincidence? I think not!
Some people have. But I er.. I mean we made them sign Non-Disclosure Agreements. And there was nothing illegal about it. Just ask Rudy Giuliani
I heard that Quis wouldn't be logging on until Tuesday, so we can gossip as much as we like until then.
And this is all the gossip you had about me?
... asked Quislet threateningly while brandishing a rubber duck
None of the rubber ducks are coated with poison. I don't know where these rumors get started.
Could it have been something you said?
When Quis speaks, others quack in fear.
Eider you are with me or against me.
None if this is really gossip though is it? Where's the scandalous stuff we can sell to the tabloids and feather our nests?
I think some of that stuff has flown the coop.
Quislet's youthful career as a Teamster led to his being immortalized in C.W. McCall's "Convoy." Yes, he was the legendary "Rubber Duck" referred to in that song.
He'll still put the hammer down for you, if you ask him nicely, for old times' sake.
Quis can lift Thor's hammer AND Steel's hammer!
Quislet's youthful career as a Teamster led to his being immortalized in C.W. McCall's "Convoy." Yes, he was the legendary "Rubber Duck" referred to in that song.
He'll still put the hammer down for you, if you ask him nicely, for old times' sake.
Little known fact, I was also mentioned in the song "The Streak" My name was changed to Ethel in that song.
Quis can lift Thor's hammer AND Steel's hammer!
That is not all I lift.
Quislet's youthful career as a Teamster led to his being immortalized in C.W. McCall's "Convoy." Yes, he was the legendary "Rubber Duck" referred to in that song.
He'll still put the hammer down for you, if you ask him nicely, for old times' sake.
Little known fact, I was also mentioned in the song "The Streak" My name was changed to Ethel in that song.
Weren't you also the Margaret in "It's Me Again, Margaret"?
Quis was, indeed, the reason for "the season".
When the weather gets warmer, it’s not because of summer. it’s because Quislet smiled in your direction
Quislet's youthful career as a Teamster led to his being immortalized in C.W. McCall's "Convoy." Yes, he was the legendary "Rubber Duck" referred to in that song.
He'll still put the hammer down for you, if you ask him nicely, for old times' sake.
Little known fact, I was also mentioned in the song "The Streak" My name was changed to Ethel in that song.
Weren't you also the Margaret in "It's Me Again, Margaret"?
No, that was my evil twin.
He's seriously considering changing his last name to "show".
He's seriously considering changing his last name to "show".
And my first and middle names to "win" & "place and"