As the outgoing Deputy Leader, I hereby call the first meeting of the Legion of Former Deputies to order. Former Deputies please check in and we'll discuss various vices and other second-banana topics.

Make sure yo have a bowl of cream ready for my old deputy leader, Stupid Cat

Cream is at the ready for when Mr. Cat arrives.

HWW (Deputy under STU) checking in.

I don't recall any vices, though it's been awhile.

As for second bananas, I prefer fresh apples, thank you.

Deputy Faraway reporting in via holovid.

(September 2001 - November 2001
Iron Rat (Leader); Faraway Lad (Deputy Leader) whew thats a long time ago now )

Where's my deputy's badge?

Hail, Fellow Former Deputies.

Badges all around.

Remember that we stand in a great tradition with Ethel Mertz, Sancho Panza, Boo-Boo Bear, Mister Spock, Walter Mondale and other sidekicks, best buds and auxiliary characters throughout history.

Well, before becoming Leader for a term, I was proud to be a Deputy Leader. Of course, I was known as Newcru King back then, but it still counts

Goodness! I'll have to get myself elected deputy leader in the next go around so I can join this wonderful club.

*whew*

Glad I got over that Zombie thing I had yesterday... *burp*

Ex-Deputy Pov, reporting!

...ugh, why do my belches taste like brains?!

Lard Lad reporting! (Deputy to Lash Lad in the second-ever LMB leader election)

I believe we should invite dedman into our ranks as he'll be a former deputy in three months or so, anyway.

Anyhoo, I never thought it was right that the leader made us feed him or her grapes--what an abuse ofpower!

Actor Lad's deputy reporting!

I would suggest we modify Lardy's suggestion, that all current deputies be allowed to sit-in as non-voting guests, as they have yet to become former deputies (unless, of course, they have been a deputy previously under a non-contiguous term).

Not to intrude but,...a Barney Fife club?

Sure. It's a companion group to the Otis Club.

Joeboy never made me feed him grapes! I'm not sure whether I feel relieved or left out!

And yes, Dedman should be allowed to sit in since he will preside over the LFD when his term as Deputy ends.

Now, about Greenland...

Yeah I'm in!!!

yes, greenland....we must do something about them....Mercury too.

Deputy Miner (Deputy under the SoM administration....sorta....long story) checking in.

So. Greenland: Threat or Menace?

Diplomatic feelers have been put out but so far have been rebuffed.

I am worried about the veracity, and intentions of the Greenland delegates, after all how can we trust what they say when they mis-describe their own country. I have been here for days and there is very little green in this land at all.

I suggest we take a defensive stance and maybe consider partial mobilisation of an initial strike force to insert a covert team of backing singers, just in case we need to instigate option Dion.

We need three volunteers to go undercover as backing singers for the Dion front.

Since I like to sing and I'm covered with feathers I'll blend in quite naturally with the other musicians. Any other brave souls who wish to harmonise (must use Canadian spelling in this context) in the name of justice, please let me know.

I'm in, Rocky. I'll sing bass for this extremely dangerous mission.

Who...who I ask you, will complete the trinity?

I'd volunteer, but I can only sing off-key.

I appreciate that, HWW.

We have a tenor and a bass. Do we have a baritone in the house?

v44vybr8o568pb3yor.....Ram Boy slams head on keyboard.... gyulkbsrlbthftvgbf....twice.

Hmmm...looks like Quis & I need to start a "Legion of Former Co-Leaders' Club

what about the Legion of former Leaders? Where's MY damn parade?!? LEADER FOR LIFE!!! *storms off in a huff*

Would someone please get Ram Boy a bandage for his head and make sure his keyboard isn't damaged?

Joeboy, Fat Cramer, the new LMB Leader, has arranged a parade for you in another thread.

Oh, and we still need a baritone.

Aw,,,mu kubOard id judt fin ,,,t ankd. uO dputid ar vru thOug tful> Widh i wr On !

Fine, I'll baritone. But it's a strain to my cavernous voice.

Would that just be you and me getting together?

Backing Dion, would anyone notice?

Nope. YK and Harby would also qualify.

Hey, what a great idea for a club! The LMB's bonafide very first Deputy Leader checking in! That's right, actually, it was co-deputy leader with Shadowplay in Candlelight Lass during the very first LMB leadership under Lard Lad (waaaaaay back in the Spring 2000). Now *that* was a long time ago.

This committee should have some sort of power in LMB stuff. Maybe it should be the new security office committee? With the current deputy leader beings its chair, but with no voting power unless there is a tie?

Deputy Leader is the rockstar of leaders--all the glory with even less of that 'stuff to do' nonsense!

Less to do?

some of us found our elected "leader" vanishing for months at a time. We had to pick up the slack, get none of the credit, and get second-guessed whenever the "leader" deigned to show up for five minutes every month or so.

not that I'm pointing fingers at any particular individual or individials, mind you.

Not to intrude on the workings of the "Second Fiddle Society" but you might want to put those bowls of cream away.

I doubt that Stoopid Cat will ever return to Legion World.

Hmmm. It appears that Gary Concord is holding Stoopid Cat against his will.

Alert Cobie & Kent Shakespeare. A rescue mission needs to be organized.

"Organized" being the key word and the biggest stumbling block.

Hm, if you turn to page two, you'll see I gave this body the inherited power of the Security Council. So I say we argue like the Senate and decide what to do on this matter. Any who oppose such a suggestion will become my blood enemy.

Except you Miner, since I think you may already be a blood enemy. I can never remember who is and who isn't.

Bah, Talk away, talk all night and all day, talk till you're all blue in the face.

Your useless inane chatter won't change a thing.

Stoopid Cat is gone and there's nothing any of you can do about that.

Mr Cobalt, thank you for reminding us of our security charge.

Mr Concord, you have neither been recognized by the chair nor by any other piece of furniture in this room.

And you don't frighten me, Mr Concord. I've sung backup for Celine Dion (that mission went as well as could be expected)! Nothing frightens me any more!

I suggest that after we capture Gary Concord, we shave off his goatee. Perhaps then, he'll be less evil, as it is well known that goatees often lead people to do evil things.

FDL (Former Deputy Leaders),

I hope that you will let me assist in the rescue of Stoopid Cat. Even though I am not a former deputy leader (or current deputy leader), Stoopid cat was my (and co-leader Vee's) deputy leader.

Cobie, I think a full body shave would be more appropriate for Mr. Concord.

Mr Quislet, I agree with your suggetion of a rescue trip for Mr Cat. Do we have volunteers for this important mission?

So far the LFD has done quite well. We thwarted Celine Dion's evil plot and prevented the Greenlandic invasion (the details of which, are, of course, not for ordinary discussion). I'm confident we can find Mr Cat.

Wasn't SC on display in some weird bar somewhere?

Slim's, I believe.

My fellow former deputies, I hereby suggest we appoint Quis as the LFD attorney/investigator/rescue coordinator.

Count me in! Not only because Quis is already onboard but I really don't want the Ghost of Queen Connie clawing me for not doing something about finding & helping Stoopid Cat.

Maybe we should just put it all in Quis's capable hands! We could sue Grape Boy to free Stoopid Cat with Quis acting as our lawyer!

Wouldn't it be groovy to solve an LMB case that way? It'd be an LMB first!

C'mon--let's do it!! We could call witnesses and stuff!

A lawsuit may just be the very thing. If any lawyer in the cosmos can do this, it's, Quislet, Esq., Super Lawyer...of Space!

Now that the Legion of Former Deputies has had a featured role in Lardy's latest OneVision, Smoke and Mirrors , thus cementing us into LMB lore, I think it's time for a party. Fortunately, the comely waitstaff I engaged for the election last autumn have remained on my payroll at the Rookery for just such an occasion. Zach, Daniel, Nick, Gwendolyn, Marianne, please see to everyone's needs. Thank you.

Thanks for the plug, Rocky!

I like that the last deputy to serve is the current Chairman of this committe. I also like that I'm the most senior member of this Legion of former deputies (well, I guess me and Shady), but that's neither here nor there

Let's party!

Yeah, yeah...I'm brilliant! Now, read the damn story already!

Yeah! And then read mine... it's been posted for like hours!

The Legion of Former Deputy Leaders Active Roster
Rockhopper Lad (current chair)
Cobalt Kid
Shadowlight in Candleplay Lass
Lard Lard
Crusader
Dev-Em
Beagle Boy
Faraway Lad
Poverty Lad
Eryk Davis Ester
He Who Wanders
Spellbinder
Stoopid Cat*
Reboot
The Boy with Ultra Powers
Kent Shakespeare
Dedman – next to be chair at the expiration of his term

*Status questionable (status as regards to active, not membership)

Whatever happend with Mercury?

My fellow Former Deputies, it has come to my attention that the Celine Dion of Earth-22 is now touring. Clearly this must be stopped and she must be put on ice as was her counterpart from our universe. If I could get two volunteers to again go undercover as backing singers. I need a bass (or alto) and a baritone (or mezzo) to go with my tenor. Don't worry if you have limited singing ability. It's Celine Dion. Who'll notice?

Thanks!

I'd advise against employing the same tactics.

She may have allies, and may have been briefed on the fate of her counterpart.

...and... there could be a reason we haven't seen Gary Concord around lately...

Hmm. A very good point.

I'm open to suggestions.

we need someone with sonic-dampening powers, who can negate her powers and alllow the rest of us to apprehend her. Do we have anyone like that on the roster?

All right! Let's get Stealth!

I'm on it.

I should have some backup, though. Do we have a Legion World Espionage Squad? And do they have good-quality earplugs?

Well, the old 'have Cobie seduce her' bit was an espionage stand-by, but you all realize I'd be really taking one for the team this time.

I swear, if that Titanic song even gets sung one time...

*A handsome stranger with glasses, a big nose, and a Groucho Marx mustache enters thread*

Guten tag! I believah that it eêzah your beloved membor Ram Boy who izã master of, how you say, disguizes. Au revoir!

*The handsome stranger tips his sombrero and takes his leave*

On behalf of Dedman, our outgoing chair, I, as his immediate predecessor (and Deputy Leader under Joeboy/Kid Marvel), officially welcome RTVU2 as new Chair of the Legion of Former Deputies!

Hear, hear!

Welcome, Vu!

I'd like to formally welcome Nova Girl and the late (for the moment) Clive into our ranks!

Hopefully when Clive returns to life, it will be the affable fellow we all knew and loved, not the zealot he became.

I suppose as the only deputy actually alive, Nova Girl is now our chair, if we keep with tradition.

But if Clive returns while Cleome is still in office, I suggest we relegate him to be an honorary co-chair without privileges of an actual chair, at least until he shows himself capable of behaving like a proper former deputy leader.

**Meow**

What, No cat bed, no bowl of cream, and I had to get a serving girl to open the door for me...

I tells ya, I don't get no respect...

**Meow**

Is it time for cocktails?

No according to 'Cheney's Rules of Order for Ex-Deputies' it's time for me to undermine the current leadership by numerous off-the-cuff comments made to my society page columnist boyfriend.

It's always time for cocktails at the LFD!

Cheney wasn't a Deputy, he was the muppet-master (that's why you only ever saw one hand at a time), so you don't have to stoop so low.

I guess we've been remiss in holding events. But still...

Welcome to our newest member, Fanfic Lady!

<strike>Hope</strike> Know you'll survive the experience!

heh-heh. It's funny to see Sam Pureheart talking like Stoopid Cat.

When did this happen?

How did I not know about this group?

Well, given how busy most former deps are on the speaking engagement tours and book signings, we haven't kept this thread as active as we should have.

Wow. Thanks, Kent.

I'm about halfway through this thread. It's great fun. Thanks again, Kent.

Oh, and since everyone is saying who they were Deputy Leader under, I was Deputy Leader under Rockhopper Lad.

AS Anchor Boy, I was Deputy under Newcru King. A long time ago. I cannot believe it was over 10 years ago already.

And I can't believe I forgot that I posted in this thread almost five years ago!

Well, Celine Dion is no longer a threat, so...Kelly Clarkson? Oh, wait, that's right, a lot of Legion Worlders actually like her.

Hmmm...oh, I've got it:

KATY PERRY MUST DIE!!

I don't want to make her a martyr. Can't we just have her shipped to a peaceful planet full of friendly natives who can't actually hear anything?

Good point. But does our budget cover the shipping expenses?

Who has to get close enough to package her up?

That could be traumatic, especially if she's not wearing makeup. Who will be brave enough to volunteer?

We may have to draw straws.

Does anybody have pencil and paper?

:rimshot:

You're welcome.

She'll be here all week folks.

Okay, I will volunteer. But only if Fanfie promises to come to Chicago next summer.

A&R weasels, sit yourselves down
There's nothin' for you here
Won't you please come to Chicago
For a ride
Don't ask Jack White to help you
Cuz' he'll turn the other ear
Won't you please come to Chicago
Or else join the other side...

Rules and regulations, who needs 'em?

That reminds me, Crosby & Nash lent their harmonies to David Gilmour a few years ago for this beautiful song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ij2vdvL7dx4

And, Kent, in all seriousness, I can't promise that I'll make it to Chicago. I'd love to, but it's not 100% guaranteed yet. Sorry.

I know. I just had to throw some sort of demand in there!

Ah. Okay.

So now that we've got the Perry situation sorted out, what else can we do to make the world a better place?

How about an unlimited supply of healthy foods that taste better and are cheaper than junk foods?

That's such a beautiful and sensible notion, I can't come up with a witty reply.

Does anyone besides me still eat homemade granola? I could totally make this a linchpin of my life after politics: Free homemade granola for all! Commercial cereal is all hideously overpriced, and it mostly uses up more calories during the consumption process than you get back once digestion commences.

Cleome, could you please post a recipe for granola here? Thanks in advance.

Get rid of you know who...and all the recordings of 'that' song. "Doooooooooooonn't Yooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!"

Would that be a good start towards making the world a better face.

I would, Dev, but He Who likes her. Sorry.

Okay...just tryin to help the world is all.

Well, we could annihilate the guy from Nickelback. Or am I thinking of the guy from Soundgarden? No, it must be the guy from Creed...

Ahh, kill 'em all!!

And kill James and Lars from Metallica, too, even though they popularized the phrase "Kill 'em all."

Disclaimer: I'm not actually calling for anyone's death, I'm just venting.

Phil Collins, please add him to the list.

BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!

I love Phil Collins.

Really, I do.

Guilty as charged.

I liked him for a while, then he just seemed to get to arrogant for his own good.

<span style="font-size: 14px;">*Maple-Walnut Granola*</span>

<span class="spoiler_containter"><span class="spoiler_wording">Click Here For A Spoiler</span><span class="spoiler_text">Ingredients:
4 C Rolled Oats (regular, not "instant")
1 C Rice Bran (optional)
1/2 C Dried Currants
1/2 C Dried Cranberries
1 C Walnuts, chopped fine
1 tsp. Vanilla Extract
1/4 C Canola (or other vegetable) Oil
1/2 C Maple Syrup

Directions:
1) Preheat oven to 250 F.

2) In your biggest mixing bowl, combine all the dry ingredients and mix them well.

3) Add the wet ingredients and mix again. Make sure everything's well combined.

4) Use a big wooden spoon or spatula to transfer everything into a big glass baking tray (I use the rectangular Pyrex) or a couple of large cookie trays. Spread the mixture as evenly as you can.

5)Bake about 1 1/2 hours, stirring the mixture thoroughly every fifteen minutes during baking to ensure even cooking. It takes some elbow grease but the results are worth it. When the mixture is golden brown, and a pinch of it no longer feels/tastes oily or sticky, it's done.

6) Remove the tray(s) from the oven and let the mixture cool. After that, store it airtight. Makes about 6-7 servings.

<span style="font-size: 11px;">(Tips: You can experiment with other kinds of fruits and nuts. I've used apple-pineapple and cherry-apricot, for instance. But watch your mixture carefully. Sometimes the sweeter fruits seem to cook faster. I've eaten them when they've gotten Cajun-blackened from overcooking, because I'm too cheap to throw food away. But I wouldn't call it a pleasant dining experience.

Some people prefer a full 3/4 C of maple syrup. I think that makes the granola way too sweet, but to each their own.)</span></span></span>

Ahhhhhh. Thank you so much, Cleome. I'll be spending my weekend trying out that recipe.

Dev, I agree he got full of himself, but even then, he still did the occassional song I liked: the Cyndi Lauper cover, the Tarzan theme song, the better moments of his Motown covers album...

Phil Collins rocks! Loves me some Brand X!

Let me know how you like it, FL. (Some people don't care for rice bran, but I think it ads a nice flavor. Though leaving it out makes the finished product a little glossier and more photogenic.)

Yes, and several of the Genesis albums with him as frontman are mighty fine, too. I didn't mention them only because they were all released before he got full of himself.

I'll be posting about it in this thread for sure.

Hey Fanfie, thought you might like this. My friends daughters apparently rewrote a Katy Perry song while driving around one day. Not sure which song it was...not that it really matters.

True story, swear to God.

"This is the poo-poo-pee / That you're never gonna ever pee-pee-poo-poo-pee / This is the toilet-pee / That you're never gonna ever pee-pee-poop on me"

Love it. Thanks, Dev.