Welcome to the Boutique. Here you can find all sorts of fabulousness and exciting things. Plus in the secret back-room not hidden behind the Kylie poster you won't find a highly developed technological centre for resisting the forces of the tyrant STU and his minions. Honest, there's nothing there. Nothing to see, move along and look at the fabulous things. Long Live the Resistence. That doesn't exist. Shh, it's secret. Or at least it would be if there were one, but there isn't so it's not. But still, shh.

Right, I think I've probably managed to throw off STU and his lackies, anyone else wanting to join the Resistence?

Bevis, dear, it's so wonderful that you have finally opened your own shop. There's no one who I trust more to make me look my absolute most fabulous.

Well exactly. This place needed a bit of a fashion injection and who better to provide it than yours truly. Plus it's not a resitence HQ either, which is also a good thing.

Right, now just as a matter of onterest and not because, you know, intelligence gathering or anything, what exactly has been going on round here? His Imperial Majesty STU and all that? I've sort of been out of the loop a bit and I've missed his taking power and stuff. Not that I want to know so I know who I should be recruiting so as to try and topple the power-mad deviant canine beast or anything, because obviously I'm all for STU. Who wouldn't be? I'm just, you know, interested.

*whistles innocently and polishes a glass because that's what you do when you're being the sneaky type even though the Boutique isn't actually a bar. Although there's a thought. A boutique of fabulousness with a bar in it. That might just work. Still whistling innocently*

Bevis, here's the quick version:

Stu has apparently gone insane or been mind controlled by something. He refers to himself as "His Imperial Majesty" and has begun building a huge never ending mansion that can never satisfy his appetite. Then, he suddenly became a moderator in every forum, showing that he truly holds intentions to be a Legion World dictator for the rest of his life.

Now, he has been joined by the Royal Inquisitor, who he has named Chief of Security. The Inquisitor took over the Security Office when I was away and since the other Security Officers are nowhere to be seen, he has now assumed that position. Also StuBots #129 and #130 have arrived on Legion World and are terrorizing it. After attacking Lightning Lad and Outdoor Miner, STUbot #129 was destroyed. Winema Wazzo, the oppurtunist, has joined STU and hopes to rule by his side as his queen.

In addition, Kid Prime has dissapeared and is nowhere to be found. SHAKES has been threatened and supposedly can no longer serve booze. There is martial law on Legion World now. Fat Cramer and Stoopid Cat are on the run. And Greybird, Eryk Davis Ester and myself have ressurected our Triumvirate and are sending for our armies to march on Legion World as we speak.

However, we do need a place to organize, and this backroom would be great! And I pretty cool shop too ! With you making sure that I look absolutely fabulous for my lady friends, I might actually develop some sort of fashion sense!

So Long live the resistance! I knew I can count on you !

Cobie,

RE: SHAKES

If you read the "proclamation", you will see that SHAKES is prohibited from selling alcohol. Given the policy at SHAKES of not charging anything, the "proclamation" has no effect.

Nicely done Quis!

I am very impressed by the effort you've made so far to stop this invasion using your mastery of the law! You're the only one giving the Royal Inquisitor any trouble in the Security Office and you've managed to ensure that SHAKES stays open. I am assuming you'll be a big part of all the resistance meetings.

Cobie,

My position here is for the preservation of the law and Legion World. As such, I don't feel that I should take sides, especially in such an extra-legal form of governmental change. Personally, I feel your call for a rebellion may have been premature.

If STU performs his duties and does not exceed his authority, then I have to support him. If STU does exceed his authority or commits impeachable offenses, then I will fulfill my duties in convening an impeachment trial and ensuring a fair and honest election for the next leader.

Fair enough Quis! I only called for rebellion, because the Royal Inquisitor and the STUbots have threatened my safety!

But I appreciate what you're trying to do in staying inside the legal realm! This is of course the smart thing to do, to make sure if Stu is deposed, it is done legally.

However, I must continue to act as a resistance force against the dictator, to ensure the safety of my friends.

First, we'll unite and make a plan. Then, the rescue of Kid Prime. Then, I'm taking back the Security Office. And then...it's time to have a showdown with Stu.

I would like to convey SUT's sincere appreciation to Bevis and Quislet in making the rigth decision and not supporting that scurrilous and dangerous rogue, Cobalt Kid, who is now to be put to DEATH on sight.

STU. I meant STU.

(looks around, makes sure no one moticed.)

Whew.

Carry on!

STUbot #134,


Please note that Cobalt Kid has not been charged with any crimes nor has he been tried and convicted of any crimes.

If you have proof of any criminal activity on the part of Cobalt Kid, I will issue an arrest warrent and convene a trial.

Any harm done to any suspect, short of self defense, will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. And any claim of self defense will be investigated.

Quis,

I'd like to remind everyone that I am still legally Security Chief, a job appointed to me for life! I have done no crimes, and any thing I might do falls under "matters of security"!

The Royal Inquisitor cannot be made Head of Security, since the leader cannot dispose of a Head of Security, since it is a life-long position. Princess Crujectra appointed me, not Stu. In other words, I'd have to be killed or forced to resign. Which is why I fear for my safety.

The Inquisitor is illegally running Security matters!

Cobalt Kid,

While your position as Security Chief does give you powers the ordinary Legion Worlders does not possess, you are not immune for all actions.

For example, if you accepted a bribe, you could be prosecuted for that as accepting a bribe is an illegal act. Also if you exceded the speed limit on your way home to watch Teen Titans, you could be fined as that falls outside the scope of your duties as Security Chief.

You watch Teen Titans?

Oh, right, I'm still missing. Sorry. Er-

Help!

I would have thought watching Teen Titans at all should be punishable in some way.

Right, now I'm up to speed (or as much as I ever am at least. I'm a time deplaced individual who is possibly his own father, I don't really keep up with the present much). But Cobie, what's all this talk of a Resistence? There is no Resistance. And even if it were it's secret. Sshhhh.

This black beret, camoflage paint and great big bag of sabotage gear? Why it's just the latest style, honest. Everyone's wearing. Anyone in the know anyway. But it's nothing to do with deposing STU (or SUT even. He he he). Even these STUbot devouring nanobots are just the latest gadget. I wouldn't even thinking about them. They're self replicating you know.

Cobie, stop fondling poster-Kylie's bum. The secret switch that isn't there is on her left boob. But it isn't because there isn't one. Now I have to pop out for a bit and not do any sabotaging. Watch the shop will you Cobie? I'll gve you a fabulous disguise so none of STUs forces will recognise you, and if you do a good job I'll even train you up to be nearly as fabulus as me.

Oh, one thing before I go, you say STU *went* insane? I thought he always was. That seemed the most logical explanation anyway.

But we still humored him! Now I don't think I can even do that!

Thanks Bevis! With your help, we can make the Security Office a bit more fabulous (once I get it back)!

And this is a nice poster of Kylie !

Bevis, can you suggest an ensemble for my freedom-fighting activities? Something else else whimsical, yet functional? Thanks, you're a doll.

Something else else frilly and pretty, but with pockets for smoke grenades and wire cutters?

You're priceless, FC

I heard that the word from Paris on freedom fighters is a red and white horizontal striped blouse, a short black skirt, calf length boots, nylons (with a hole in one to daringly expose some skin to the night air), and a red scarf.

Acessories include a submachine gun slung over the shoulder, ready for use and a black beret worn at a jaunty angel. Ruby Red Lipstick is a must.

Ooh, someone should wear that (Not me of course...)

Space Ranger maybe

Cobie, when are we meeting to discuss the Resistence. *ahem* I mean to discuss the piece de resistence to complete my new look?

Excuse me. Is anyone here? I need some help. I'm going to a dinner tonight featuring our new dictator-for-life, his majesty forever STU and the Lady Winema. I need something new to wear, and I'm wondering if I can get any help?

I hear shackles will be the style in vogue at the dinner party for all guests. I must say, I don't think shakles suits you though.

I konw somebody on whom shackles would look STUNNING.

Hold out your wrist STUbot please, thank you...

*Uses his tekpak to interface with the STUbot's arm port, and infects it with a computer virus designed to wipe it of all knowledge of this place*

*watches as the STUbot collapses like a puppet with its strings cut*

Whoops, I seem to have wiped everything ELSE in its memory too Well, no need to destroy this one now, and they can't make a replacement if this one's still around and (technically) active

Actually, the latest fashion for LW freedom fighters is black and white horizontal stripes.

Sorry, I don't wear stripes. They make me look fat(ter). I prefer a nice slimming black or dark green.

I can go with everything but the horizontal stripes. Make 'em vertical and it's a sale.

Still, I like frilly with pockets too, maybe for evening, semi-formal freedom-fighting.

Freedom fighters? There are no freedom fighters. You must be getting paranoid STU. We're just a bunch of happy workers here.

So FC, you're needing something practical yet chic for not being a freedom fighter eh? Well personally I think you can never go wrong with black. Slimming, elegant and easily blends into the shadows when you want to be sneaky. Of course dressing in black doesn't mean you can't accessorise. See, here with have a lovely little ensemble of a black fitted jacket (nothing on underneath mind, you need to show a bit of cleavage to distract the guards at opportune moments), long black skirt with a slit up to the thigh so that's it's kinda demure but also sexy *and* practical for running if needs be. Fishnets for the extra little hint of woo-hoo, knee length black boots but with a relativly low heel, again so you can run, and a chic little black beret (you *always* have to have a beret). Then to accessorise we have these lovely smoke bomb earrings, spy camera and audio receiver choker (black velevet with fetching silver details), black satin gloves (because you don't want to be leaving fingerprints around), neural disrupter bracelet and a great big f*ck off gun just in case the worst comes to the worst.

That's what I'd reccomend if you were a freedom fighter of course, but since you're not I won't. But here ya go anyway, just in case.

Sounds wonderful, Bevis. I love fishnets and satin. And black. So I'll just be a pretend freedom-fighter. You're an artist!

Well I know.

See myself today, I'm modelling the ever-fashionable and practical camoflage ensemble. I've gone today for the design in cool shades of blue. Maybe not so practical as the green or brown versions, but sometimes you have to make consessions to the way you look. The important thing to remember with the camoflage look is not to overdo it. I myself have chosen these rather fetching cargo pants (with plenty of practical pockets for all your not-freedom fighter equipment) coupled with a tight pristine white sleevless t-shirt. To add just a bit of butch to the outfit we have great big black boots, laced up to above the ankles, a lovely little chic backpack in matching blue camoflage, a nice patent leather belt equipped with pockets for bullets, smoke bombs, self replicating STUbot eating nannites, mirror and Fudge hair shaper (just so that you know you always look good). Finishing off the ensemble we have clean white gloves and a lovely black beret worn at a januty angle (like I say, some things are just de rigour for not-freedom fighters). As an optional extra today i have with me a bag of rotten tomatos for not throwing at evil tyrants and their power mad hussies.

I can't take it any longer.

I hereby call the first meeting of the resistance to order, and I don't care what STUbots learn of it's existance. Would the owner of this establishment, who has no knowledge of this meeting, kindly close his ears? Yup, now Bevis can say he never knew what was happening!

Roll Call:

Lightning Lad
Outdoor Miner
Fat Cramer
Stoopid Cat
Space Ranger
Emerald Empress
Varalent
Sanity or Madness
Cobalt Kid
Eryk Davis Ester
Greybird
Circuit Breaker
Spellbinder
Minesurfer
Super Lad Kid (deep under cover)
Blockade Boy


First order of business: the rescue of Kid Prime. We need to find out where he is and resecue him. Next, we attack and destroy the STUbots and the Inquisitor and then march on Stu.

The armies of the Triumvirate are engaged in a war with Stu's legions of STUbots outside the atmosphere of Legion World, leaving us the responsibility of deposing STU. Once that is done, I can only hope that missing LWers, like Harbinger, Icey, IB, Arachne, and others will make their way back here.

What we are about to do may not be technically legal, which is why Quislet is not here. He is a great and noble man, and it must be left to him to pick up the pieces when this is over and make sure that the law still exists as the foundation of Legion World society.

If all else fails, and you are not safe, you can come here or Cafe Cramer, but my advice is to go to the Psyonian Embassy, where you know we will all be safe. Crujeckie will ensure that STU is not allowed within those walls.

Let's go LMB! Sweet Ass Sweet!

Oh, and Bevis, I love the new design for my freedom fighter outfit! Nice job! (Not that I'm a freedom fighter of course )!

Not that anyone's trying to be sneaky or anything. For surprise birthday parties and such. Nothing goes with a happy surprise occasion like black, I always say.

Checking in.

Black is definitly the color of the day. So elegant, so flatering, so shadowesque!

Present!

Fellow Resistance members, I'm sorry, but the line has been crossed.

Giant Squid, an honest reporter only trying to do his job, has been destroyed by the Royal Inquisitor. I've decided to go after the Inquisitor now, and have a final battle with him.

The battle for the Security Office begins now, wish me luck. In the meantime, continue to get organized, and start planning on how to free Kid Prime and figuring out what to do about Stu.

I go now for vengeance, for Giant Squid. The Royal Inquisitor must be stopped.

Well, we did it!

Fat Cramer and I defeated the Inquisitor and brought him to justice. Quis issued an arrest warrant for his blatant crimes and he's been taken care of. The Security Office is mine again.

Also, it appears that Winema Wazzo sensed a change in momentum and turned tale and ran. She's left Stu, annulled the marriage and is now no longer much of a threat. Emerald Empress brought her in for theft, but knowing her, the charges might not stick. We'll have to see, but right now, she's small potatos.

The main problem is Stu. What do we do and how do we figure out what's wrong with him? And where is Kid Prime?

Stu has called Poverty Lad and me into his office, and I'm thinking of going. This is the chance I've been looking for to talk to him, and now that the Inquisitor is gone, I'm too tired to be patient!

Stand fast LWers, and be ready for anything!

*puurrrrr!*

Dear fellow Legion Wordlers,

Having followed the recent developments in Legion World with great concern, I hereby announce to you the resumption of my Doctor One identity.

(Puts on white coat, separates feet and stands with fists on the hips in a very intrepid position, trying very hard to suck in a large beer belly.)

Stu's actions up to this point are inexcusable, and all freedom-loving members of Legion World have the moral obligation of standing up in defiance. I am not yet in a position to determine whether Stu has been taken over by a foreign intelligence, but I promise to investigate the matter. Things look bleak at the moment, fellow Legion Worldlers, but fear not, Stu and his minnions have started to make mistakes.

The biggest one is to have converted Cobalt Kid into an amoeba. You see, Stu (or whoever controlls him) has forgotten a key piece of information: Legion World has a resident Protistologist. And amoebae ARE protists. So, if Cobalt Boy is willing to step into my lab, I should be able to preform some... enhancements to his persona.

Let's see... amoebae reproduce quickly... they are multinucleated, too...and Cobbie's genetic makeup is still there... perhaps I can increase Cobalt Kid's amoebic size?...teach him how to use pseudopodia to engulf prey?...I wonder how Stu's minnions will react to an army of giant amoebae engulfing everything in their path?...

Ha!

Little did you suspect that Emerald Empress and I were lovers all along, and that the sanctity of the Security Office has been compromised!

It's only fitting that an Empress should rule at the side of an Imperial Majesty such as myself...

Sory, erm, I've been busy for a bit. Are we now saying the Security Office is now in the control of the non existant Resistance? Ooh, right.

Ummm.

I think possibly someone should warn anyone there that theree might possibly be a rather large bomb in the sewer system due to explode.... ooh, any minute now. Not that I ut it there or anything. Erm.....

I've just got to nip back out again for a minute.

Bugger.

Teamwork. You've just got to love it.

Sorry I missed the meeting that didn't actually take place.

Doctor One! Glad to have you with us!

I'd appreciate your help! Although I think it'll take magic to turn me back to human, I think it'd be better for you to increase my size!

Please help me when you can!

Cobalt, is NOW really the time to be talking about "size?" Sheesh, some people and their libidos.

Don't worry. Here, have some of this really tasty Calimari, apparently left over from the meeting.

All right, if you'd step onto my microscope, yes, that way... it'll be a bit warm for a moment...

Let's see, if I sprinkle this on you, you should be able to grow...

Yes, very good, now try to extend your pseudopod all the way to the ground.

Excellent. The next step is to teach you all about asexual reproduction. This might take a while...

Thanks Doctor One! It appears I'm a little bigger than we planned, but at least I'll be able to attack Stu's Robots like this!

Asexual reproduction? Hm...would that be enjoyable for me?

No. Neither will you be able to reproduce. That's the whole idea.

Call on the good Doctor for more details.

So, I take it we decided to cut costs on Giant Squid's funeral?

Or try to bring him back to life.

Well, I have a holographic generator handy

Yes, we'll need that, at least to make everyone think he really came back to life. This'll buy us some time to figure out how to really do it.

I just stumbled in here, and I can't RESIST (hint) Bevis' wonderful stain-RESISTant (more hints) fashions! And it looks like Michael Netzer shares my tastes too! So, Bevis, where are your most irRESISTible (yet another blatant hint) fashions kept?

Hmm, I don't know about the skirt, but the submachine gun sounds darling.

I went a bit overboard with the sprinkling of the growth formula, didn't I? No worries, it's probably better for you to be voluminous to be able to tackle the asexual division ahead. Will it be enjoyable? Well, that depends. It's a bit like being constipated for about a week and then... obtaining well-deserved relief.

The process is actually not that difficult. First you have to replicate your nuclei. Just be patient, DNA replication is easier than what it sounds, you just need to focus.

OK, now you need to redistribute your body mass. Just put a pseudopod on the ground and FLOW into it. Yes, fflloowww. Very good.

And now the difficult part. You need to squeeze yourself into two halfs. This is where the constipation analogy comes handy. Push! PUUUSSHH! So, is it working?

You know, if we weren't so busy rebelling against STU, I would be laughing at the idea of Cobie as a giant amoeba right now.

IB, there will *always* be time to laugh at the idea of Cobie as a giant amoeba.

Or just generally laughing at Cobie. I know that's how I spend much of my day.

I assume you're all laughing at how incredible handsome I am, even as a Giant Amoeba!

Yeah Cobie, that's right. Mmm-hmm. (Said in the spirit of the Resistence. )

Hey, just checking, but is there still need for the Resistence (not that there is one)? Because if so I've got a spare secret room all set up with all kinds of spy gadgets and stuff like that. I could rent it out if anyone needs it. ot that it exists, you understand, what with it being secret and stuff.

Also if the Resistence is no more what the hell am I going to do with this overstock of submachine guns in chic colours?

Keep them, and keep the room available. You never know when we might need it, for evil may always be skulking about in the shadows. Besides, Resistance Chic could become a popular style around here.

If not , you could always sell them on omniBay as Resistence memorabilia!

Not that there was a reisitence or that this boutique was ever part of the resistence that never was!

Looks like I missed all the fun...

No doubt the Boutique will be extremely busy tomorrow as everyone shops for that special outfit for the weekend's fine dining - or Friday night's Cosmic Bowling. Any recommendations, Bevis?

So... is the war over?

Did you defeat the savage Fenyir?

I'm thinking of showing up at the school fair dressed as a mercenary, just to protest against all the wonderful fatigue and nervous disorders they've been giving us lately. Bevis, gimme the works!

(Why do I have the feeling I'm gonna regret saying that last part? )

the works eh? That could take some time. Are you wanting the fashionable chic mercenary look or the full on 'don't mess with me you bastards because I'm packing a whole bloody arsenal of exotic and wonderful weapons but still look fabulous' look? I can cater for both.

I think I'll go for the second one. Now THAT sounds WAY cool!

Bevis, when you get the chance, can you set me up for the "You all wish you had me on Valentine's Day and the morning after" look? And add in your own touches of course !

And then I'll add MY touches to your outfit

Spacey! This jewel-encrusted sweater is just darling! I love the way the stones change color in response to the wearer's mood!

It looks sooooo fab on you, Tiffany!

Check out this silk garter-belt, hand-crafted by Imskian designers! It even comes in Touston Pink!

Oh, the pink looks awesome on your blue skin!

Which of these skirts do you like?

Ooooh, I like the one on the left!

Short and sexy, with just enough diamons to give you the glamour that fits you! The boys must be jumping out windows to get a glimpse of those legs!

*tee hee*

We Spiffany ladies are blessed with long legs! It's too bad I'm so much taller than you! We can't share clothes or anything! At least we're rich and can buy plenty of outfits for both of us!

That's OK, I like being so petite! Being little leaves the boys more surprised when I get all rough with them! And you can never not be cute when you're petite and uber-hot!

The only thing more fun than spending Daddy or hubby's money on yourself is spending it on yourself *and* your best girlfriends!

I just left a message at Shakes for the Emerald Empress, inviting her to come! I don't know if she's still there, though! I *do* hope Umber can stop by as well! This purse would be perfect for her! I'll think I'll buy it as a gift!

Well, I figured I would stop in to thank you both for the invitation and to see if you had seen that scoundrel Cobie. He has more checks of mine than I care to remember that he hasn't given me. When I get my hands on him....

...oooohh is that lovely. And what a gorgeous shade of emerald!

That purse would look so fab on her! I think this panty and bra set is so her! Even if it too sexy for public...*titter of amusement*

I hope the Empress comes over as well! We've only spent about twenty thousand ergloks so far!

*coo of excitement*

Empress, these emerald thigh-high boots would be sooo uber-sexy on you!

I love the fact that this is still "Not a Secret Anti-STU Resistence HQ"...

But Stu...it's not! Honest !

Who is there to resist against anymore?

Plus, as everyone knows, I'm irresistable.

Ah! You're looking at one of the many threads from the infamous "Dark Stu Saga" a few months back--largely thought to be one of the most fun times ever on LW! I reccomend re-reading this thread and checking out the summary of the Dark Stu Saga in the LMB: the Continuity thread to see what it was all about! It's very kewl indeed!

Oh, the memories. Remember when we'd all have our resistance meetings while wearing Bevis' wonderfully fabulous resistance uniforms, with glitter in our hair and wonderfully color-coordinated wigs and contact lenses to hide our identities?

I just love the clothes here! They're so CUTE!

Gosh, it's dusty in here isn't it?

opens a bottle of wine, pours out two glasses and knocks one back before putting the other on the counter of the Boutique with a holophoto of Lash

For old times' sake.

Bevis, I notice the Kylie poster has gotten a bit tatty. But I've got a vintage, mint-condition Bananarama poster you could put in its place.

Goddess on the mountain top...

That's a good one, KK, but my favorite of their hits was "Love in the First Degree."

Lash's favorite was "I Heard a Rumour."

Yay Bevis!

The Glam-O-Meter is going to get a workout around here!!

Beyond pleased to see our old friend Bevis again, even in the midst of tragedy. I sure hope you'll keep in touch when you can!

-Lardy

I second that!

Yeah, it's great to see you back around here, Bevis! Please do come more often!

And hope the family is doing great!

Yep, all very good. The boys are 5 and 9 now and equal amounts brilliant and utter shits, and Chris and i are both 40 this year and 10 years married so wee horribly middle-aged and settled.

Ten years! Congratulations, Bevis! Here's to many more decades!

Congrats Bevis!

I want you back. No, the Bananarama one...although it works for returning LWers too

Bevis, great to see you here and to learn that you and your family are doing well!

Oh my gosh. I want to have your life!

The Boutique as been restored to its former glory in time for the Anniversary!!

Here are Teeds, FC, and myself:

Wowza! Beautiful! Almost making me turn hetero!

Does this suit make me look fat?

I just think it needs to fit better, my finny friend!

You're right. I'll make an appointment with a tailor to get it fitted.

More Legion World ladies flaunting the boutique's wares:

Left to right: Caliente, Teeds, Emily, FC, and myself.