Is it an oxymoron to have a thread dedicated to the amazing character known as Non Sequitor?
Perhaps that will be debated for eons, but, to clarify, I refer to the character that first appeared during the "Hot Summer Nights" trilogy and is, perhaps, the most enigmatic character ever to be an LMBer! Non Sequitor's M.O. typically is to add an irrelevant bit of dialogue in the middle of some crisis or another...kind of like how we do in the "Share Something else else Completely Random!" thread.
So many mysteries! Such as:
-Is Non Sequitor a guy or gal?
-Why would he/she have an interest in being an LMBer?
-Has he/she ever played a crucial role in an adventure? If he/she has or will, would he/she no longer be "Non Sequitor"?
-If Non Sequitor is female, has she ever had sex with Cobalt? If so or if ever, why would a character of this nature ever be interested in fornicating?
Friends, Non Sequitor is among us! Dare we explore his/her mysteries?
I don't even know what wheeled tomatoes are.
The blue moose wears no shoes.....
I have passed on your questions to Non Sequitor. I have retyped the questions (actually used cut-n-paste) and added the responses in bold and red
-Is Non Sequitor a guy or gal? Julia Sweeney is very funny. -Why would he/she have an interest in being an LMBer? *Non Sequitor began to arrange Hummel figurines* -Has he/she ever played a crucial role in an adventure? ANTS! If he/she has or will, would he/she no longer be "Non Sequitor"? 
I think I'll go for a walk outside now
the summer sun's callin my name
(I hear ya now)
I just can't stay inside all day
I gotta get out get me some of those rays
everybody's smilin
sunshine day
everybody's laughin
sunshine day
everybody seems so happy today
it's a sunshine day -If Non Sequitor is female, has she ever had sex with Cobalt? *A banana cream pie flies through the air* If so or if ever, why would a character of this nature ever be interested in fornicating? "Logic is a field of pretty flowers that smell bad!" Friends, Non Sequitor is among us! Dare we explore his/her mysteries? Casey Kasem has been the voice of Shaggy, Robin, & Alexander Cabot III
Oh, yes! Wyoming!
There's no place I'd rather be roaming!
Omigod!!!!
Non Sequitor is....
<span style="font-size: 20px;">Christopher Walken!!!!!</span>
Well, I'm glad we've cleared that up.
We've cleared something up?
Yes.
For starters, we've established that Christopher Walken has a thing for wheeled tomatoes.
It's a huge leap forward.
Who leapt on Christopher Walken's tomatoes?
Hey--no damned swearing!!
That was F'n uncalled for deddy!
$#%^$#%$* (&$#^#$^ #^%# #^#@$% @*)^% (*^&$#$* !!!!!!!
Now THAT was a non sequitur!
Well....I try
Man, I have a feeling I'm NEVER going to learn more about the enigma that is Non Sequitor!
But, Lardy, we already explained that a sole has no eyes!
But the Red One should be on top.
Can we get this thread back off-topic?
I prefer my cole slaw to be not too sweet, if you don't mind.
A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals and you know it.
It's not time for page 2 yet.
I don't like to wear ties.
I know Non Sequitor's secret, and I ain't tellin!
Non Sequitor's real name is Jenn.
Originally posted by LARDLAD:
I know Non Sequitor's secret, and I ain't tellin! Ah! But do you know the secret about the secret?
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
Non Sequitor's real name is Jenn.
So you have been lead to believe.
If about to subside with gentlemen, make sure there is a convenient emotion on which to catch. Not all sopha can be relied upon to faint a timed female in Fall.
What do we do with a drunken sailor?
Originally posted by Quislet, Esq.:
Originally posted by LARDLAD:
[b] I know Non Sequitor's secret, and I ain't tellin!
I know ALL of it!!!
Originally posted by dedman:
What do we do with a drunken sailor?
Ear-lie in the mornin?
That would be pretty painful on the ears.
Originally posted by LARDLAD:
Originally posted by Quislet, Esq.:
[b]
Originally posted by LARDLAD:
[b] I know Non Sequitor's secret, and I ain't tellin!
Ah! But do you know the secret about the secret? [/b]
or you think you do.
Don't you DARE turn to this thread's VERY LAST PAGE to learn the STARTLING SECRET of Non-Sequitor!
I dared. Non-Sequitor is really Booster Gold.
Originally posted by dedman:
I dared. Non-Sequitor is really Booster Gold.
I think you have that backwards.
Dlog Retsoob yllaer si Rotiuqes-Non. Derad I.
...nope. sounds too much like a Zatanna spell.
It's good to be the king.
But why is the Lion known as the king of the beasts?
Because history is written by the winners?
of course and we shall be victorious soon my warrior friend.
Now will thou join me in an ale or three on this the eve of battle?
We shall feast!
We shall drink!
Tis a good day to join together in battle!
Geez, this thread took a turn for the testosterone all of a sudden.
Hmmm... Is that relevant?
Testosterone is ALWAYS relevant!
YAAAAAARRRRGGGGHHH!
Non Sequitor burbed the Star Spangled Banner to Queen Elizabeth II.
Good old Lizzie Deucie.
Think she'll break old Vickie's record?
Il a mis le café dans la tasse
Il a mis le lait dans le tasse de café
Il a mis le sucre dans le café au lait
Avec le petite cuiller, il a tourné
Il a bu le café au lait
Et il a reposé la tasse
Sans me parler.
Sotto gli occhi del assassino
E tu vivrai nel terrore! L'aldila!
Paura nella citta del morte vivente
Quella villa acante al cemeterio
All through the day
I me mine
I me mine
I me mine
All through the night
I me mine
I me mine
I me mine.
Non Sequitor booked a vacation package at a Sandals Resort.
Ohmygod! Who like left the seat up?!?!
I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay.
Many small children of questionable heritage applaud your victory!
Non Sequitor makes googley eyes in Teronna's direction. A loud speaker announces "The crew of the Space Battleship Yamato have only 347 days to save the Earth!"
What!
Rain several uneven possum!
Pronto!
Second czar of the Reich and treat on till Yavin!
Alas! The chicken's afloat!
Non Sequitor casts a vote for Pat Paulsen
<the sound of one hand clapping>
When in doubt...
Armand Assante.
Just don't mention the string cheese.
Sonic-dampening orange-skinned outcast casts a vote for Shirley Manson.
Unidentified hominid says wish blue spatula ellipse. Hi ho Silver!
Lukey's boat is painted green.
blue jean baby queen, prettiest girl I've ever seen
Logic is a flower that smells bad.
Non Sequitor wore a powder blue cashmere sweater.
Suddenly, a flock of dead cows drove by.
And they went "Moo-oo-oo-oo!"
Teronna throws Simon Cowell and a bucket of applesauce at Non Sequitor.
"Look, sir...droids!"
"Look! A PENNY!!!!"
"I most certainly am not a buritto!"
Off in the distance, a dog barked.
It was a dark and stormy night.
I'm Henry the eighth I am,
Henry the eighth I am,
I am.
Non Sequitor reprograms the LMB computer to have the voice of Bette Davis.
Quislet, Esq., suddenly realizes that most fish cannot dance the macarena.
Certain fish, though, have a curious ability to dance the tango, and are especially apt at doing so while in a wind tunnel holding an umbrella.
Teronna throws a bottle of rum and Hillary Clinton at Non Sequitor.
...but that was in another country, And besides, the wench is dead.
Originally posted by Abin Quank:
Quislet, Esq., suddenly realizes that most fish cannot dance the macarena.
I think this belongs here
Quislet, Esq. rumor thread
...and afterwards, Non Sequitor smoked a cigarette.
The roof! The roof! The roof is on fire!
Unicorns and cannonballs,
Palaces and piers,
Trumpets, towers, and tenemets,
Wide oceans full of tears,
Flags, rags, ferry boats,
Scimitars and scarves,
Every precious dream and vision
Underneath the stars
Nobody else here likes the Waterboys' "The Whole of the Moon?"
Non Sequitor took a year off to be Mr. Clean's hairdresser.
[cleome fetches the slides of her trip with Non Sequitor to
Devil\'s Punchbowl ].
[Optional accompaniment of The Shanghai Quartet playing their rendition of "Hi Ho Hi Ho (It's Off To Work We Go)"]
Stealth showers Non Sequitor with confetti made from worthless Jim Starlin comics of the past two decades.
Non Sequitor knits the Star Spangled Banner
Meanwhile, hake polka Swahili rake hazelnut...
Pour box through keyhole, exit in style.
Run, run as fast as you can!
You can't catch me,
I'm the Gingerbread Man!
Did anyone hit the truck on that catch number that licensed me ?
The last post was 1 putted from 30 feet.
Non Sequitor saw Aisle Bad Wolf contradict his name by taking the seat next to the window.
Non Sequitor tried out a mime act and got beaten up.
Non Sequitor says "Corn!!"
...while wearing a chicken suit and standing next to a giant bowl of cereal.
Rabbits! Dressed up like Louis the XIVth! Singing covers of Human League songs! In authentic 40th Century Arabic!
<span style="font-size: 99px;">KHAAAAAAAN!!!!!</span>
We should all give each other nicknames based on where we live (somehow Warren Spahn inspired this idea). Like Pov could be the Connecticut Constipater.
Dibs on Buffalo Bill.
"It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again."
Ssshhh!!!
The Parma ham retina cakes are nearly ready to emerge from the sonic hatbox! Just in time for Wombat Day!!
The title of this thread is actually the best definition of an oxymoron I've ever seen.
Non Sequitor runs around in a fright wig and an ill-fitting suit yelling, "EATS BEAN."
Non Sequitor alphabetizes mental images.
Non Sequitor makes choo-choo train noises whenever answering nature's call.
BRRRRINNGGG !!! BRRRRINNGGG !!! (CLACK CLACK) BRRRRINNGGG !!! BRRRRINNGGG !!! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lobster_Telephone
Non Sequitor climbed naked into the lobster tank at the local Red Lobster.
Non Sequitor won second place in a Charles Nelson Reilly look-a-like contest.
Non Sequitor hosted a party last week.
The invitations will be mailed next week
Non Sequitor headlines an MMA bout opposite Christopher Walken.
Non Sequitor uses his own carcass as an entry in the soapbox derby. There are five wheels, all square-shaped.
Non Sequitor runs up to strangers in the street, hands on hips and tongue hanging out, yelling, "Poppa Lobo!", then running away.
Non Sequitor can't hear you. There's an ear in my banana.
Non Sequitor once met a man from Nantucket.
Nantucket is nice.
Non Sequitor ate too many Nantuckets and needed a bucket, but couldn't find one, and so Non Sequitor said...
Coming soon from DC...Blackest Night: Non Sequitor.
Non Sequitor was attacked by zombie versions of Irrelevance, Inanity, and Infantilism.
Two foot five,
Its AliveBirdseye, Swansea, that you, Clive?
Has my scene galled anybody?
Their clothes are imitation George XXIII
Don't you find that absurd?
Non Sequitor tasted the rainbow, even though his headcold pretty much ruined the effect.
Non Sequitor and a friend went out disguised as Siamese Twins.
Suddenly, hordes of migrating Koi burst out the roof of the Schenectady Days Inn, singing "Laissez Les Bon Temps Roulet" and accompanying themselves on tiny little squeezeboxes made out of fimo and straw!
Non Sequitor played keyboards at a wedding, waiting until the most inappropriate moment to launch into a 70s porn theme.
Non Sequitor used '70s porn themes for mood music while tending his Blu-ray garden.
Non Sequitor finds that macrame goes best with a dry red wine.
Non Sequitor sings UB40's cover of Neil Diamond's "Red, Red Wine" with lyrics altered for scatological humor, especially in the reggae toasting section.
Non Sequitor cuts diamonds with glass. Cubic Zirconium he just runs over with his specially trained fleet of Greenlandian llamas.
Non Sequitor gets in a kids' sandbox and goes to the bathroom like a cat.
Non Sequitor eats a whole container of Nutella, then replaces it with...oh, just do the math.
Non Sequitor studies, but fails to pass the Differential Equations mid-term.
Non Sequitor celebrated this defeat by bathing in a garbage bin...which hadn't been emptied yet.
Non Sequitor sexed about dreams last night.
Non Sequitor spends hours pondering what a "Whoopie Pie" could possibly be, if only because it sounds dirty.
Non Sequitor's favorite pie features a crust of crushed grasshoppers filled with a delicious froth of graham cracker crumbs.
...Bake it in an igloo
Throw it on a plate
And slice off a slice
With a rusty ice skate...
Non Sequitor likes cake, too, but thinks that one is supposed to put the unopened box of cake mix in the oven.
Non Sequitor eats cereal boxes and reads the future in corn flakes.
Non Sequitor alphabetized all the telephone numbers/
Non Sequitor got the giant chicken costume out of mothballs for a night at the opera.
Ubip-bip
Ubip-bip
Ubip-bip
YEAH!
Beet greens, Please.
As for sides, I'd like the china cement bisque and the red Leggos. Medium rare. Light on the salt.
AlshenaneshoeshtuthawhirlAlshenaneshoeshtuthawhirlAlshenaneshoeshtuthawhirlAlshenaneshoeshtuthawhirl
Non Sequitor gargles with Resolve [tm] cleanser on New Year's Day.
Non Sequitor thinks Jay Leno and Conan O'Brien are funny.
[honk!]
Make that three hard-boiled eggs!
Last night, I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I'll never know.
Non Sequitor puts his pajama bottoms on one arm at a time, just like everyone else.
Non Sequitor didn't know poor Yorick all that well.
Also, Non Sequitor talked to Yorick's tailbone instead of his skull.
Originally posted by Stealth:
Also, Non Sequitor talked to Yorick's tailbone instead of his skull.
And they are now celebrating their negative-tenth wedding anniversary.
Non Sequitor tries to win an ebay auction at the last minute by pounding on the monitor and yelling, "Snipe! Snipe!"
Non Sequitor once shot a man for snorin' too loud!
Non Sequitor likes to nap with his socks off.
Non Sequitor enjoys talking with a microphone head inside his mouth.
Non Sequitor redecorated the den with green carpeting and live flamingos.
Non Sequitor decorated some aardvarks that fell off his family tree.
Non Sequitor only likes
Fuzzy Navels when they're made with
real fuzz.
Non Sequitor has a mojito while relaxing near the secretarial pool.
Non Sequitor writes fanfic in which Mo Gaffney and the Emperor of Japan have a superheroic offspring called "Mojito."
Non Sequitor ponders the divergent career paths of Kathy & Mo and wonders whether or not Kathy sold out.
I DO. YYYYYYES, I DOOOOOOOO!!
Non Sequitor funnels Fluffernutter down his own gullet.
Non Sequitor never sleeps
Non Sequitor constantly drinks crappy overpriced St*rb*cks beverages which he pays for by selling his blood.
Non Sequitor beat up Chuck Norris
Non Sequitor wears a rubber Dick Cheney mask while repainting the deck.
Non Sequitor wears a rubber elephant mask while dancing to bad cover versions of Motown classics.
Non Sequitor wears a rubber Cobie mask while herding sheep
Non Sequitor wears a rubber when he takes a pee.
Socks socks we sell socks
A dollar a pair, a nickel a box
The longer you wear 'em, the shorter they get
Put 'em in the washer and they don't get wet!
Non Sequitor puts his socks on his ears.
The panties! The panties! The panties are hot!
The panties! The panties! The panties are not!
Not on me, but they are on you!
You might be a Christian, but maybe I'm a Jew!
Jews like leopards, we like their spots!
C'mon, Everybody! Get hot hot HOT!! 
TOM FITZGERALD, ALLIE, TOM FITZGERALD, ALLIE, TOM FITZGERALD, ALLIE, TOM FITZGERALD...
Non Sequitor smacks random passers-by with a foil-wrapped chocolate Easter bunny while singing the chorus from "Maxwell's Silver Hammer."
...WORKS ON THIS SHOW!!!!!!!
(This tribute to the non-talent of Susan Saint James has been brought to you by Halls throat lozenges.)
Non Sequitor yelled at Fred and Lionel to wipe their feet before dancing on his ceiling.
Non Sequitor parked in the no parking zone
Mole itchy!
Mole itchy!
Mole itchy!
Mole itchy!
Non-Sequitor says, "Sit on it!"
Non-Sequitor only speaks the language of love
"Cooler than ice cream, and warmer than the sun."
Non Sequitor uses a saddle stapler to switch around all the regular and variant covers in his comic book collection.
Jowu Dunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
Non Sequitor doesn't use daylight savings time
Non-Sequitor wears a homburg.
Non Sequitor noms on Disaster Boy.
Nom di reet deet
Hoo-a hoo-a
Nom di reet deet
Hoo-a hoo-a
NOn Sequitor stole me lucky charms
The marshmallow "jet puffer" backfired, causing several minor injuries in the factory.
Non Sequitor's doctor perscribed memory pills, but Non Sequitor forgot where he put the perscription.
Non Sequitor smokes dingleberries
A peanut sat on the railroad track
Its heart was all a-flutter
A train came speeding down the track
Toot toot! Peanut butter!
Non Sequitor looks to Doctor Mayavale as a role model.
Non Sequitor only chews art gum erasers that nine out of ten dentists recommend.
Non Sequitor doesn't answer any questions
We didn't find anything in Non Sequitor's beard.
Non Sequitor doesn't wear pantaloons, he wears knickers
When Non Sequitor drinkis tequila he always eats the worm
Non Sequitor shot all the hidden Easter eggs with a loaded .44.
Non Sequitor wants to grow out his hair into the same style as Edie's current avatar.
and two hard-boiled eggs.
LEFT TURN! NO TALKING IN YIDDISH! FREE ASPARAGUS in the AFTERNOON!
Non Sequitor carved his own backyard Mount Rushmore out of paraffin. Except that all the faces were those of the Banana Splits.
Look out! It's a pineapple!
Baka laka laka
Eeee oooo aaaaa aaaaa
Is this really the Jupiter of my youth?
Mercurio, Venus, Jupiter y Marte
Urano, Neptuno, y Pluton
Dot Dot Dada Dot Dot Dada Dot Dot Dada Dot Dot Dada
Originally posted by Kent Shakespeare:
sdrawkcab.
Ni ym noinipo, Annataz dekool tseb ni srehtael.
The man whose head expanded knew who stole the cafe's collection box.
When I was little, there was a Latin American TV comedian named Hector Lechuga. His last name is Spanish for "lettuce"!
Tonight's secret ingredient is...CACA!
Are you ready ready London
Are you ready ready London
Are you ready ready London
Are you ready ready London
For the sounds of the Artful Dodger
All burnt out & Nowhere to go.
Thirteen men on a dead man's priceless collection of Etruscan snoods.
Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of...Ma's old-fashioned cider, Ma's old-fashioned cider, Ma's old-fashioned cider...
0,1,1,2,3,5,8,13,21,34,55,89,144...
Oh buccaneer! Can ya help me put my truck in gear?
Why do birds suddenly appear every time I brush my teeth?
Monkeys turkeys donkeys!!!!!
Pass the Lefty on the Dutch-hand side!
"Tornedron, face Predaking...TO THE END!"
Brazil!
Al Stewart!
5!
Blueberries!
Nihongo!
Quimbala quimbala con la quim-bam-ba
Wa bla bla bla AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
The calls are coming from <blink>
INSIDE</blink> the Habitrail!
Finches. Everywhere I turn, finches.
Uh Eh Oo Er Uh Oh Eh Waddle Sane Bernaise
The bubble wrap is ALIVE, I tell you! ALIIIIIVE!!
Non Sequitor waxes his mustache in the shape of Long Island.
Non Sequitor idolizes Col. Mustard.
Non Sequitor went to Rio for Carnival, but spent the entire trip in the basement of his hotel, watching the laundry go around and around in the dryer.
Ra ra re re ro ree roo ra ra roo ra ra
"John!"
"Marsha!"
"JOHN!"
"MARSHA!"
Non Sequitor has pictured his maker as a giant immortal feather duster ever since hearing that song by Kansas.
rueben with fries on the side.
Yes, we have no Farfel today.
/I/I)/I//(I/I/I/I(/I/I//II/
apple spleen cryogenic Neptune feast.
Eats owl doodlebug blog shuffleboard.
Cross at the spleen, not in between!
One man drives while the other man screams.
Originally posted by Fanfic Lass:
Eight candy bars.
I packed my own lunch!
Originally posted by Rockhopper Lad:
Originally posted by Fanfic Lass:
[b]Eight candy bars.
"I'm probably the only kid who gets a lunch with a commercial in it."
Non Sequitor started a cult where all the acolytes wear plywood robes.
Non Sequitor thinks the Acolytes era of X-Men was that book's high point.
Non Sequitor beleives the biggest single factor in preventing heart disease is not thinking of the planet Jupiter.
Non Sequitor keeps repeating the world "Jupiter" in a grating high-pitched voice.
Non Sequitor likes bananas.
Non Sequitor thinks the Banana Splits should have won a Grammy.
Non Sequitor wants you to send me all your money.
Non Sequitor sings the unfunkiest version of "For the Love of Money" you've ever heard.
Craaaaaaaapped iiiiiin aaaaa booooooooooox
Non Sequitor thinks "root beer" is a Budweiser poured into a glass and then stirred with a yam.
Non Sequitor filmed his own version of The Battleship Potemkin, re-casting all the roles with hand-knitted finger puppets.
Non Sequitor thinks Velvet Goldmine is Todd Haynes' best film by miles.
Non Sequitor trimmed the privet hedge with a toenail clipper.
But on the other hand is a glove.
Non Sequitor built his own synthesizer using a bicycle, three foghorns, and an EZ-Bake oven.
Non Sequitor considers the outhouse an ideal place for a romantic getaway.
THE WHELKS ARE COMING!
THE WHELKS ARE COMING!
Non Sequitor is is to Rio like Phish is to [censored].
bla ble bla vla blava free free froh froh
TU Y TU MODELITO EXCLUSIVO
Non Sequitor digs it the most.
Non Sequitor karaokes the theme song to Gamara, even though Japanese is all Greek to him.
Non Sequitor invented a cocktail called the Bloody Stump. No, you don't wanna' know...
RRRRRRRRunning Bear didn't care enough
About little White Dove and her tender love
Non Sequitor, incomplete sentences, which is.
No white noise except between Memorial Day and Labor Day!
54.143%.
Wednesday.
Armadillo.
Is this also available in paisley, or possibly Milton-Freewater?
Non Sequitor's remixes of popular dance tracks involve him banging on coconuts and screaming "Remix!" over the music.
Non Sequitor asked Workers Comp for assistance after breaking his clavichord during employment hours.
The Shark is a Clown from Midnight to Six.
"By blood a king, in heart a clown"
A pox on both your Volvos!
Only you can prevent Forrest Gump.
Foonga Foonga Choonga Choonga
My life is but a comma in the tome of the infinite one word post thread.
Go Mayhew, Mayhew, Mayhew, Mayhew, Mayhew, Mayhew, Mayhew, Mayhew, Mayhew, Mayhew...
Knott on yer board games.
If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you!
Goyuze mah, mah, mah, mah, mah, mah, mah, mah, mah, mah, mah, mah, mah, mah, mah, mah, mah...
Lather, Rinse, Repeat, Repeat, Repeat...
He feels real phony when his name is Bill.
Or was that Phil?
Maybe the people would be the times, or somewhere between Clark and Hillsdale.
Oh, the snot has caked against his pants.
It has turned to crystal.
There's a bluebird sitting on a branch.
I guess I'll take my pistol
My father's in the fireplace
Plutonium wedding rings...
There was an old lady who lived in a shoe.
She had so many alt-IDs, she didn't know what to do.
most powerful big rats, gentlemen.
"So I says to him, yer a Louse, you is, a big old louse!"
There's a sea in the whole of my bottom.
Hand in glove, the sun shines out of our behinds...
Oh, so many illustrations...I'm so very sickened! I am so sickened now!
Puffy Sanrio stickers and flat beer-- part of this nutritious breakfast!
Q: How does a stoner sound when clearing his or her throat?
A: A-hemp, a-hemp!
Piddly Poo Fart (I Smell Feces)
<span style="font-size: 17px;"><font face="chalkboard">Mommy, I can taste the brown!</font f></span>
<span style="font-size: 11px;">(Some kind of prize should go to any comic book fan who gets this reference besides me.)</span>
Irving Flavor was robbed, I tell you, robbed!
(Now where's my prize?)
"Ducky go down the hole!"
When your friends call, answer the cat.
Originally posted by Outdoor Miner:
Irving Flavor was robbed, I tell you, robbed!
(Now where's my prize?)
I love you <span style="font-size: 30px;">
THIS</span> much.
Enjoy!
Meanwhile, back covered with Ranch, Non Sequitor restrings his banjo with Capellini.
WAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOWdabawedaplugrexcrementalscat
Uh...caca piddle...wow
That was a very sweet (in many senses of the word) prize.
The Magic 8-Ball says....I prefer to be stirred, asshole!
That's some mouth on that 8-ball.
Dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee
Anyhow, three guys walk into a bar, which is weird since you would think one of them would notice it was in their way.
"Everything went wrong and it felt like Christmas!"
Life is like a box of chocolates: a sure-fire recipe for diarrhea.
asparagus!!!!!!!!!!!!!
moon landing.
Eddie Grant?
Anyone seen the recharger for my Erhu?
Nothing is easy, fat man. We used to know reasons for waiting for a thousand mothers.
The daughter of Prof. Midorikawa, blaming Hongo for his death.
If not in Tahiti, then the Wendigo laughs.
Regretfully, Al Feldstein will be unable to join us due to illness, but looks forward to returning next year.
"It was a stark and dormant night..."
This post has no mention of b*d*ly f*nct**ns.
Our Kestral maneuvers in the dark.
I'm going back to Liverpool to do nothing.
Bail the merry-go-round faster, you fool! The Swazis are almost upon us!
We are who we are
What do the others know?
But poetry
Is not for me
So show me the way to go home
Martin Sheen
He's real clean
That's real keen
Martin Sheen.
<span style="font-size: 17px;">shake
shake
shake
shake your spinach</span>
!sdrawkcab si ecnetnes sihT
Non Sequitor wears his sunglasses at night-- on both elbows.
Due to copyright issues, the theme song is missing from many of the US Region 1 DVDs
Gentlemen, synchronize your sundials!
In either case, it is the planetside adventures which are the focus of the story, not the mode of travel.
Meanwhile, back at the funny farm...
Ayuda y Solidaridad con las Niñas de la Calle
Is this the same Jupiter of my youth?
Oh, no! Not the radioactive bleu cheese!!
(ha! I was just eating some bleu cheese as I read that!)
Soylent Green is people!
(That's actually a quote from a super-obscure comic strip that an old buddy of mine wrote.)
Non Sequitor goes to the galvanizing plant to see if there are any comic books for sale.
blub blep blub ble ble ble ble blubbbbbbb
<span style="font-size: 17px;">IRE DOWN BELOWWW!!</span>
Cthulhu!
Cthulhu!
That god can see right through you!
I took a whirl
To planet Vhoorl
Now Mi-Go lords will rule you!
Inhumanoids!
Inhumanoids!
The evil that lies within...
Non Sequitor made a gumdrop necklace for his pet telephone pole.
Wake me up before you go-go.
<span style="font-size: 15px;">rhubarb! rhubarb!
sodawater bottle! sodawater bottle!</span>
Ooloo ooloo babble babble ring ring
Nosferatu throwing tomatoes at flying lemurs.
Non Sequitor and Nosferatu are both into Twilight.
I would not be surprised if the whole affair somehow involved Dorothy Kilgallen, Vivian Vance and ooloo.
I don't think that I can take it.
'Cos it took so long to bake it.
And I'll never have that recipe again.
Why ask why? Beer isn't dry.
Non Sequitor built a miniature solar-powered guillotine and used it to cull his collection of Pez dispensers.
A
MIRISCH-GEOFFREY-DEPATIE-FRELENG
PRODUCTION
RELEASED THROUGH UNITED ARTISTS
Then again, the salamanders may report in on Monday.
It's time to give Barney the time that he needs!
beep.....beeep... Beeeep!......BEEEEEP!!!!!!......quonset huts.
No shapes sail on the dark deep lakes, and no flags wave me home.
Non Sequitor prefers to use the Truman Decimal System.
<span style="font-size: 18px;"><blink>
ROYAL JELLY!</blink></span>
<span class="spoiler_containter"><span class="spoiler_wording">Click Here For A Spoiler</span><span class="spoiler_text">Victor Mature!!!!!!!!!</span></span>
Non Sequitor ground up a box of No. 2 pencils in a bucket to make carbonated water.
Unlike the leading brands, Ferret Chow™ does not contain any propane gas or shirt starch.
<marquee behavior=alternate>
Butterscotch!</marquee>
All through the day
I me mine I me mine I me mine
All through the night
I me mine I me mine I me mine
In response to the ancient quest of alchemy to turn lead into gold, Honeydew created a device that turned gold into cottage cheese.
I like the enchilada, if the sauce is not too <span style="font-size: 18px;"><blink>BLUE</blink></span>.
Halleluwah, Peking O, Bring Me Coffee Or Tea Oh Yeah.
Non Sequitor hums along with John Deere.
Non Sequitor spent weeks transcribing John Cage's 4'33''
Originally posted by Outdoor Miner:
Halleluwah, Peking O, Bring Me Coffee Or Tea Oh Yeah.
Hey, you, you're losing...you're losing...your Vitamin C.
Non Sequitor vows revenge!
Non Sequitor can't tell the difference between CBS, TBS, and PBS.
Non Sequitor's Spam Blocker program contains actual blocks of Spam™. Thankfully, the Hormel Corp. has a sense of humor about these things.
Jugar al amor es tan solo un asunto de dos.
Non Sequitor cooks the turkey with the plastic wrapping still on it.
Non sequitor shot the deputy.
<span style="font-size: 17px;">RUMPLESTILTSKIN!</span>
Amor de mujer, tan fuerte y espontaneo
Tan dulce, tan volcanico
Es casi, casi magico
I know what you did last summer.
In the spaceship, the silver spaceship, the lion sleeps tonight.
Lions and tigers and BP oil spills--oh MY!
...and that's why we went to the bathroom en masse.
<span style="font-size: 16px;">TZATZIKI!</span>
<span style="font-size: 99px;">Inyuk-chuk!</span>
Non Sequitor hands Chief Lardy a handkerchief made of two old Steak-Umms™ glued together. (One raw, the other cooked.)
Selling a musky tuna, selling a musky tuna...
The Non Sequitor comic strip is it's own worst enemy in that it is neither funny nor remotely humourous, therefor rendering it non-non sequitor by nature.
Ironic isn't it?
Ann Hebistand and Non Sequitor dated briefly, but then that hussy Grizelda Shea-Shea seduced Non Sequitor. For shame!
Your putty's getting cold.
Bez
Ha ha ha ha ha ha
Bez
He's ugly and stupid
Bez
On Kentucky Fried Chicken
Bez
Such a worthless poophead
Brush your breath with hunting socks.
Originally posted by future king:
The Non Sequitor comic strip is it's own worst enemy in that it is neither funny nor remotely humourous, therefor rendering it non-non sequitor by nature.
Ironic isn't it? Blasphemer.
This strip is all kinds of groovy, especially as compared to 99% of what passes for "humor" in daily newspaper strips.
Don't make me ask you to step outside.
"GUILLERMO TELL! GUILLERMO TELL!"
Tataratataratataratataratataratataratataratatara
I should be so lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky...
Luckiest guyyyyyyy, in tha worl >blam<
?????????????????????????????????????????????????
I feel my sanity slippin' away folks!
My non sequitur just made sense. *gasp*
I'm out!
bristle bristle oil and gristle
gamboling across the apple divide
Originally posted by future king:
?????????????????????????????????????????????????
I feel my sanity slippin' away folks!
The more you're slip-sliding away
Roooooorempredradarooraruddy
maybe if I walk backwards through time.....
Eel: It's Not Just For Breakfast Anymore
Julia Roberts will be playing the evil queen in the upcoming live-action remake of Snow White.
They won't have to do any special effects makeup for when she turns herself into an ugly old crone.
Non Sequitor thinks that one really can sh#t a brick, with enough fiber and/or practice.
The handkerchief did not come forth. It came in third and won a teapot.
Non Sequitor tied strips of bacon 'round the old oak tree, because he couldn't find a yellow ribbon.
This made him very popular with the neighborhood dogs.
Naca, naca, naca
Aqui viene la caca
Non Sequitor used a time machine to ban himself from boards that haven't even been created yet.
Calma, calma, que no panda el cunico.
Whole grains from Maine are trained to eat Jains' brains.
You're frankly vulgar, Reed Bologna.
Do I get a 27" or 32" screen?
Fue una noche de copas, una noche loca...
Is that a Stetson in your tapioca or are you just glad to see me?
Look at the excrement
It's heaven sent
Time after time
You'll get down, down, down
To pooping at home
Raise your <span class="spoiler_containter"><span class="spoiler_wording">Click Here For A Spoiler</span><span class="spoiler_text">
<font face="futura"><span style="font-size: 20px;"><blink> 
*CENSORED* </font f></span></blink></span></span>
If you're Sure!
Non Sequitor cleaned all the toilets with Hawaiian Punch™.
Originally posted by cleome45:
Non Sequitor cleaned all the toilets with Hawaiian Punch™.
Really? I heard they're calling for bright blue skys with little chance of rain for the entire weekend.
It is not the colour I like it anyways.
This supper does not suit our president needs.
Non Sequitor's group performs Donna Summer's "Bad Girls" in full Salvation Army Band regalia. And yes, that includes the tuba.
Rejected but still dancing to stay alive.
Non Sequitor used the coffee grounds as mortar.
Then poured wet cement into the compost bin.
Wuckdrab.
Bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla wuckdrab.
Bla bla bla bla bla something about my FEET?
Wuckdrab.
Wuckdrab.
If it walks, talks, and quacks like a halibut, it is one.
But there wasn't any mustard on that?
Non Sequitor looked for a pot of gold at the end of a Rainbow Trout.
Add some cheese and ham and you've got yourself another successful entre for the menu.
Railroad rat rotgut rowdy raisins
Filed for future follow-up findings!
You've got some Gabardine in your teeth, Jesse.
Non Sequitor stayed in the pool until his wax lips turned blue.
Rampaging Grasscutters, done up to the nines and spoiling for trouble.
Non Sequitor gets testy if you squeeze his testes.
Non Sequitor does Snoopy's suppertime dance when you put food in front of him.
The sestina sounded better in the original Urdu.
Non Sequitor puts an empty beer can in his mouth when he talks on the phone.
Formica™ Or Consequences!
Oi go' sum re'ords from Worl' Waugh 2.
Oi play 'em jus' loik me Gran Dadoo.
GOATS...
IN...
SPAAAAAAAACE!!!!!
Half you Fanta plays two Milken.
<font face="cursive"><span style="font-size: 23px;">"Happy Bar Mitzvah, Irving"??</font f></span>
Hula Mariposa B. Firixuxo?
Is a female papaya called a mamaya?
Originally posted by Rockhopper Lad:
Is a female papaya called a mamaya?
I was going to say vagaya!
VAN six seven oh vamozaverelbudi
BYAN dedrazduyo six seven one
ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ... and
one more time ...
PING !!!!
Non Sequitor drinks his barbecue sauce straight up, with a twist.
Hot like Mexico, rejoice!
They are fragile concepts and not suitable for picnics.
Azeemood four five, Adeliade maneater.
M-m-m-muffin m-m-m-madness
Seaweed is great for clothespins!
"Hey, gang, let's go hang out at the Burger Wurger."
Non Sequitor went to the 7-11 wearing nothing but a Star Trek emblem and a plastic wrap thong.
Seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeremoslosprimerosenponerloenusoycomoycomoycomo
Duyaduyaduyadudududydudy...WLAAAAAB!
Non Sequitor tossed out the first Wiffle Ball at the opening game of the World Series.
Non Sequitor starts screaming rhymes in an offensive "Italian" accent whenever he sees a turkey.
<span style="font-size: 19px;"><font face="cursive">Body by Dunthorpe & Eisenstein of Woonsocket, RI</span></font f>
NS doesn't even know his way around a hall of mirrors.
<span style="font-size: 20px;"><font face="futura">RRROOOOOMMMBAAA!!</span></font f>
Trat tried to trick Thailand.
Non Sequitor confuses box knives and box turtles.
Non Sequitor's hair is a reverse mullet
Non Sequitor is writing a cookbook called 1,001 Recipes For Extinct Birds, Fish & Game.
There is a rumour that once Non Sequitor said something relevant
Natadolaiyu...bla bla bla...Samaimsafilaiali Grizelda Shea-Shea
Cawfee
Non Sequitor always shouts "FORE!" at the start of a poker game.
Non Sequitor regularly tries to contort himself to fit inside a fishbowl. It always ends in disaster.
Let's build a stairway to Tumwater.
Uni koala chess lay Schuykill
Non Sequitor invented the crepe paper pan.
Non Sequitor tried to eat peanut butter through his nose.
Cheez Its™ are no basis for a system of government.
The cat scattered cat scat all over the potted plant.
<font face="palatino"><span style="font-size: 20px;">chip
chip
Chip-A-Roooooooooooos!!</font f></span>
Obuiathithithithitheernonasheekagrei
Unicorn pate' also doubles as boat polish.
Princess Karola! The magic egg has been stolen!
Non Sequitor eschews hugging trees in favor of hugging cacti.
Non Sequitor would bristle at being called a hippie; he prefers "societally challenged."
<span style="font-size: 25px;"><font face="courier">PIG LATIN!!</font f></span>
<span style="font-size: 20px;"><font face="caslon">99 Red Poltroons</span></font f>
<span style="font-size: 20px;">It's Char Aznable, the Red Comet!</span>
Non Sequitor went shopping for a stationary cordless phone.
KATHLEEN TURNER OVERDRIVE!!
Non Sequitor was married to Doctor Mayavale in a past lifetime, and murdered him for the insurance!
Originally posted by cleome45:
KATHLEEN TURNER OVERDRIVE!!
She was so pretty in the Romancing The Stone movies.
Now I'm just frieghtened when I look at him....er, I'm sorry, HER!
I know but I don't know, you know??
Non Sequitor is Bruce Wayne's secret secret identity
They who Origami last, Origami loudest.
When Non Sequitor needs to pee, the toilet comes to him!
Plasticine Capon Quadrille!
Flaming paper airplane kamikaze pilots
Originally posted by future king:
Originally posted by cleome45:
[b] KATHLEEN TURNER OVERDRIVE!!
Now I'm just frieghtened when I look at him....er, I'm sorry, HER! [/b][comes back from IMDB]
She looks fine to me.
If a few lines and a little fat when you get older equals "dude," I have some explaining to do to my spouse.
All kumquats must show two pieces of I.D., and submit to a drug test.
Non Sequitor is out mowing my lawn.
Non Sequitor wears flannel underpants.
I was right!
Ha, ha, hee, hee
Stubborn wasabi
Bogway
Bweep-ee-pee-pee
Non Sequitor and Zardi up a tree
Eh, you know the rest.
Sama sama salami
Samai shashimi yai
OLIVE LOAF IS NOT AN ABSTRACTION!
"Are youse hungry?" asked Bob Geldof, brushing his hair out of his face.
But I'm clearly not the kind of girl you'd marry
THAT'S ME!
Alan Moore's beard left town. With Lester.
Teeds will be heartbroken.
So will other want to be pretentious writers.
Don't blame the beard
For stories that are weird
Alas, as I feared
The meat was not properly seared
Non Sequitor found the styrofoam to be shallow and pedantic.
Non Sequitor dated Polythene Pam when he should have asked out
<span style="font-size: 15px;"><font face="chalkboard">While you were out, Bobby McFerrin called. He says your 2015 taxes are now complete.</span></font f>
Support your local library paste.
Non Sequitor likes Nickelback.
He also takes wooden nickels... to the dance hall, and out for ice cream afterward: scandalizing both his parents and local-area merchants.
I'M HUGE!
![[Linked Image]](http://www.ooblick.com/weblog/files/2009/08/bunny_pancake1.jpg)
This is not my beautiful gall bladder.
It's Happy the Wonder Car, with the built-in juicer. Beep, beep.
Tick tock, tick tock. Hickory dickory dock.
<marquee behavior=alternate><span style="font-size: 20px;"><blink><font face="courier">STRAWBERRY TAMALE No. 23!!</font f></blink></span></marquee>
Non-sequitor once met On-topic Angel.
A universe was destroyed!
The taller they are, the deeper the pockets!
like a rhinestone actuary
Non Sequitor thinks "Krapuleo" should have been the first single off the Las Ketchup album, instead of "Asereje."
Non Sequitor routinely confuses short-sheeting with shortcrust pastry, which makes for some really weird sleepovers.
Where's the crisis that Non Seq is supposed to be interrupting?
In the hidden universe inside Bumptious Q. Bangwhistle's earhole.
Jowling through the blancmange in my mind.
Jeremy? Jeremy? Aye, illiterate zonzo!
Originally posted by Fanfic Lady:
Swordfish!
You can't enter unless you say "Swordfish!"
Originally posted by Eryk Davis Ester:
Originally posted by Fanfic Lady:
[b]Swordfish!
"What a day! Spring in the air!"
"What, spring in the air and fall into the water??"
Non Sequitor modifies himself to fit your screen.
Mete en tu boca un rico Tic-Tac.
AHHH! Ya veras.
Explosion de frescura con Tic-TAAAAAC!
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
Reapply pappadum three times a week, until condition clears. If redness, swelling, or discoloration persists, consult a licensed actuary.
What I wouldn't give for a char-broiled hamburger sammich and some french fried pataitas.
COLORFORMS DUEL AT DAWN!
(Twenty paces.)
I've got Umpteenth Unnatural Blues.
<span style="font-size: 16px;"><font face="courier">Add the finely-grated zest of one mime. Mix well.</span></font f>
Rummage rabies riddle rattle roomie rover ruddy rotten right ruby reet
Zed your dough mass two lift Laika effusive
country-style home lakes!
I used to like Tango chocolate bars.
That's why Non Sequitor Is A Tramp.
Los chicos van marchando.
Cream, sugar, or Tiger Balm?
Surprisibus! Surprisibus!
All Non Sequitor wants for Christmas is your two front-- er... Maybe we shouldn't go there.
<span style="font-size: 30px;">Die You Bastich Thread!!!
DIE!! DIE!! DIE!!</span>
Paid for by the Committee to Kill This Thread! Which, of course, reserves the right to expand the comments contained herein as necessary at some undefined later date.
Non Sequitor waved the Detroit Red Wings at an angry bull.
Non Sequitor was menaced by a Chupacabra because he smells like a goat.
I'm under a lot of pressure
I'll kill anyone I meet
Divorce is pending
And my kid avoids me on the street
Gotta' get myself some money
'Cause I need some new Adidas
I'm a Cheez Doodle man
And I ain't got no Doritos!
Muffler musing map Mojito
<span style="font-size: 18px;"><font face="timesnewroman">SHOEHORN PIE DON'T BOTHER ME!</span></font f>
Non Sequitor rides a unicycle to use the drive through at McDonalds. Which wouldn't be a problem except that he goes through in the wrong direction.
shoo shoo
shoo shoo sh'boogie
woo woo
shoo shoo sh'boogie
Take me right back to the track, Jack!
Bath rug
doodlebug
I like corn chips with no salsa
<span style="font-size: 15px;">Le Grande Bussy!!</span>
I used to like 100 Grand chocolate bars.
<blink><span style="font-size: 20px;"><font face="helvetica">crystal blue cheese persuasions!</font f></span></blink>
During his formative years as a writer, Charles Dickens used the nom de plume Boz.
Just Boz, no surname.
"But that's my kitchen cleaner! What about my bath?!"
Caw quack hiss bray chirp
Lala Tavala Yercho Leyolee
I'm Henry the Eighth I am, Henry the Eighth I am I am...
'Ere, oi didn't know you 'ad a 'airy chest!
<font face="chalkboard"><span style="font-size: 15px;">Everybody must get gallstoned.</font f></span>
Wheeze wheeze pleads beads feeds
<span style="font-size: 15px;"><font face="chalkboard">My zebra?! I thought it was your zebra!!</font f></span>
<font face="chalkboard"><span style="font-size: 15px;">701 green bottles of Non Sequitor on the wall
701 green bottles of Non Sequitor
If piquant mandrill with finagling should retina plate
702 green bottles of Non Sequitor...</font f></span>
Ender wet rum wreath blog urchins ate chest Asian
She offered her honor
He honored her offer
All night long
it was honor and offer.
<span style="font-size: 15px;"><font face="chalkboard">"...There is a roast with Spanish olives...
La la la la la la la la..."</span></font f>
Non Sequitor was noted for such witty wordplay as:
"Gin gan goolie, gin gan goo. Watch out for...the big kangaroo!"
or
"Ibble bibble bibble. Did you finish all the coke again, @$#$@?"
(With apologies to Ian Penman)
<font face="chalkboard"><span style="font-size: 15px;">Then there was the time he taught me to prevent colds and flu by covering your mouth whenever I coughed.</font f></span>
Mr and Mrs Sequitor did not think Non was an odd name for their offspring.
<span style="font-size: 16px;"><font face="chalkboard">OWL PELLETS!!</span></font f>
I have puppy saliva all over my face!
Oh, sit down, oh, sit down
Sit down next to me
Oh, sit do-o-o-own
In sympathy
(Apologies to our UK Legion Worlders who probably got sick of the song a long time ago.)
Non Sequitor made a YouTube video where he strolls around like Shelly Hack in that old perfume ad.
Happy Chompo to me
Is how it ought to be
This line has thirty-one characters
Non Sequitor put the cookie dough outside and put the cat in the oven.
We'll rant and we'll roar like true Newfoundlanders
"POWER EXTREME-EME-EME-EME-EME!!!!"
Our new line of deluxe padlocks is made from only the finest pretzel dough.
number nine... number nine... number nine... number nine... number nine... number nine... number nine... number nine... number nine... number nine... number nine... number nine... number nine... number nine... number nine... number nine... number nine... number nine... number nine... number nine... number nine... number nine... number nine... number nine... number nine...
<font face="chalkboard"><span style="font-size: 15px;">Noodle-roni Noodle-roni, men have named you...</font f></span>
Bottle of Fur!
Non Sequitor is obsessed with a sitcom writer named
George Tibbles. One of Non Sequitor's favorite party tricks is to start eating a pastry or cookie and then stutter the writer's surname, "Tib-b-b-b-b-bles" with his mouth full.
Non Sequitor only charges a dime when he dances with himself.
Non Sequitor thinks the 70s was the best decade for TV animation.
One foot in my pocket, and the other waving goodbye.
Non Sequitor thinks the Rutles were better than the Beatles.
Love life
Love life
Love is the meaning of life
Life is the meaning of love
The Film Noir Detective home furnishings store tried to keep its Mickey Spillane draperies a secret.
It failed.
It was curtains, and everyone knew it.
^^(I like it, Kent.)
Non Sequitor sings the same misheard lyric -- "Dip, dip, into the night" -- over and over again. It goes on and on and on.
Non Sequitor invented the edible Swatch™.
I thought if you went to the bathroom in your car
It meant you were a protest singer
Oh, mama, can this really be the end?
To be stuck inside of Mobile with the Memphis blues again?
"Levadura, levadura, dame fuerza dura, dura."
"And basta with the pasta, okay?"
Just another red face in a jumpsuit.
It's falling time, with mice and elves.
Let it Rocky Road, let it Rolo.
Mind the oranges, Marlon!
(please tell me soneone gets that reference...)
Non Sequitor was arrested for touching random strangers' dials in public.
Originally posted by Kent Shakespeare:
Mind the oranges, Marlon!
(please tell me soneone gets that reference...)
This drink will
quinch your thirst. It's just what the
DR ordered.
LOL! Thank you, Fanfie!
Non Sequitor says thank you also. As do Zod Sequitor and Ursa Sequitor.
Kermit: "Good grief, the comedian's a bear."
Fozzie: "No, he's a-not, he's a-wearing necktie!"
KHAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!
"Reech Coreethean Lether."
Making an obscene clone fall.
Ten tired turtles in a Tuttle-Tuttle Tree.
Well, it's just after eight o'clock, and time for the penguin on top of your television set to explode.
A. Without further ado, drink the contents of yours.
"'Drink' wasn't quite the word...oh, yes -- 'Chug-a-lug.'"
Lactic Epilady!
Frantic Sadie!
Epic Zaide!
Incidentally, you don't want to know what goes into the Sequitors' "Old Family Recipe" for headcheese.
Non Sequitor sang at his cousin's wedding.
His cousin kicked in the amplifier.
Ask your doctor for a good excuse to take it.
Non Sequitor played doctor as a kid.
His playmates all sued him for malpractice.
At midnight all the agents
And the superhuman crew
Rounded up everyone
Who knew more than they do
Who watches the clockwatchers?
In emergency situations, crushed cornflakes may be substituted for the kapok.
Non Sequitor thought his Corn Flakes had magically turned into Frosted Flakes. Then he realized he had dandruff.
Non Sequitor thinks the Addams Family were undermining the morals of America. But then, Non Sequitor thinks Playboy is a gaming magazine.
Non sequitor walked into a bar.
Fish.
Non Sequitor thinks "Barney Miller" got better after Abe Vigoda left.
Non Sequitor thinks Marillion tanked after Fish left.
Hmmm...maybe Non Sequitor has better taste than I thought.
On the other hand, he thinks Geoff Johns is a true original who never overdoes the gore.
Potatoes!
Potatoes!
Potatoes boiled and fried!
Potatoes!
potatoes!
Enough to make you cry!
"Is this the potato farm?"
"Yes, I am Albert Potato."
Non Sequitor thinks "Potato Head Kids" was the only good cartoon from the 80s.
Non Sequitor cannot properly spell the word for (Asian) Indian bread.
Non Sequitor brought potting soil to the plant on his first day of work.
Non Sequitor smoked pot and had visions...of everything going up in smoke.
Non Sequitor mixes up apostrophe-S use when talking about his possession's and his when describing a plurals punctuation.
With the coming of the Second World War, many eyes in imprisoned Europe turned hopefully, or desperately, toward the freedom of the Americas. Lisbon became the great embarkation point. But, not everybody could get to Lisbon directly, and so a tortuous, roundabout refugee trail sprang up - Paris to Marseilles... across the Mediterranean to Oran... then by train, or auto, or foot across the rim of Africa, to Casablanca in French Morocco. Here, the fortunate ones through money, or influence, or luck, might obtain exit visas and scurry to Lisbon; and from Lisbon, to the New World. But the others wait in Casablanca... and wait... and wait... and wait.
But for now I'll be
Hunting high
and
low
Oxo spelled backwards is "Oxo."
Should a soup made from the late John Entwhistle's rump be called "Ox tail soup?"
Hmm.... Why is it whenever the Batman comes to down, Clark is nowhere to be seen?
There once was a man from Nantucket.
It fell to Earth, I know not where.
C is for 'cookie', that's good enough for me!
<span style="font-size: 16px;"><font face="futura">The cracklin's what's happenin'!</font f></span>
If Nam'Lor didn't make you do it, he should have.
Non Sequitor put the Fresh-- ON LOCH NESS!
Arrr errr orrrr urrrrr brrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeek
Keyboard Cat and Non Sequitor are dating.
I'll take "Words That Rhyme With 'Syzygy'" for $400, Alex.
The diary later proved to have been a forgery.
The dairy proved to be curdled.
Non Sequitor takes up the accordion file and renames himself "Weird Non" Sequitor.
Non Sequitor named his daughter Nonny.
Originally posted by cleome45:
Non Sequitor takes up the accordion file and renames himself "Weird Non" Sequitor.
!
***
Head Cheese.
I's the b'y that builds the boat.
And I's the b'y that sails her.
I's the b'y that catches the fish.
And brings them home to Liza.
Toast! Wants to ride a Harley!
Unicorns and cannonballs,
Palaces and piers,
Trumpets, towers, and tenemets,
Wide oceans full of tears,
Flags, rags, ferry boats,
Scimitars and scarves,
Every precious dream and vision
Underneath the stars
Non Sequitor tries to put fortunes inside unscrewed Oreo™ cookies and then reclose them.
Non Sequitor dips Oreos in soy milk.
My Lieutenant, oh so ardent
Traded ranks with his own Sergeant.
Sold his rank, to get your money
Now he will eat your macaroni
Marshmallows frowning. Gazelle tick Mai Tai.
Llama battleaxe binge oof REEEEEEIIIIIIIN
Fireball! Save for half-damage.
How about roof hoof woof doof spoof aloof yoof?
Good Things are Coming... From Uranus.
Non Sequitor doesn't know how to spell "1mpotence."
Flew plastic plaque
Yoo-hoo poo-poo
<span style="font-size: 20px;"><font face="cursive"><blink>AMBERGRIS!</font f></blink></span>
Non Sequitor sleeps on a bed of old Simon games.
HELLRAISER!! I put a spell on youuuuuu!!!
a rose by any other name would still attract beetles
Nam'Lor's girlfriends! That where they been!
<span style="font-size: 20px;">Farmer in the Dell Comics #13:</span>
In this issue!
Because you demanded it!
<span style="font-size: 30px;">"The CHEESE</span>(tm) <span style="font-size: 20px;">...
Stands ALONE!"</span>
(inspired by something Fat Cramer once commented on years ago)
<font face="caslon"><span style="font-size: 19px;">Grit on a shingle!</span></font f>
A
Rollins-Joffe-Toffee-Coffee-Morra-Frresa-Frrambuesa-Brezner
Production
Non Sequitor poured his martinis into fiberglass.
"EL DIARIO DE RATOLANDIA! EL SHAH DE SERPIA NOS VISITA!"
"No tienes que gritar para vender periodicos."
Non Sequitor wore Carnation Milk in his jacket lapel at the Senior Prom.
Non Sequitor is looking forward to the American Reunion movie.
You're the cane in my sporfle, the Bryce that mutters my bed.
When the harlequin is on the bed
And the whiskey haze surrounds his head
William Holden's coming over
And he's got a fifth or two
Ha, Ha!
Cry, clown, cry
Non Sequitor leaves milk under his pillow for the Nipple Fairy.
Non Sequitor thinks all the songs on David Bowie's "Pin-Ups" are originals, and also thinks it's Bowie's best work other than the coked-up "funk" of his L.A. phase.
Lleva el sabor de los chicles Adams
Llevalos con todos donde quiera que vayas
Non Sequitur wore a salad bar sneeze guard over his face when he played hockey.
Doof waz goof whippet change
They won First Prize for their "Luscious Lily."
And it makes me smile.
Non Sequitor went down to the lumber yard to get treatment for his lumbar hernia.
Non Sequitor walks around in public singing Small Faces songs about old biddies whose husbands have lumbago.
Oxalis? Thanks. Don't mind if I do.
Alexis excitedly transported the maximum amount of Oxalis in her Lexus.
The only good thing about CHiPs was the theme music.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MFWdD_b6DJk
What if "What If?" were "What For?" And if not, why not?
The obscure Marvel mutant Forearm had...four arms.
Non Sequitor thought the above was the height of cleverness.
<span style="font-size: 16px;">"FERN AND DOC!"</span>
Non Sequitor thinks Jim Fern's art on L.E.G.I.O.N. was better than Barry Kitson's art on same.
Simmer mixture in an upturned pith helmet, to which has been added the finely diced marrow of a medium-sized Alsatian Hedgehog.
Non Sequitur
quis rut none
quin turns one
TNN turquoise
ten sun roique
down by the old shrill meme
Non Sequitor not only remembers the awful Richard Dreyfuss movie "Krippendorf's Tribe," he also finds nothing racist about it.
Nonpareil's Verdigris Revenant Toothpick!1!1
Non Sequitor's bad like Henry James.
Non Sequitor always lists "Adam" as his favorite "Baldwin Brother".
My water bottle is such a deep red. It reminds me of maraschino cherries.
Non Sequitor's favorite Beatles song is the theme from Mr. Ed.
Most powerful rodents, gentlemen.
Everybody tooskee-tooskee-tooskee!
On our romantic date, Non Sequitor drank Post Toasties from my dancing slipper.
Non Sequitor goes to a rockabilly party dressed like a preppy.
<blink><font face="cursive"><span style="font-size: 28px;">Agua Fresca!!</font f></span></blink>
It sounded better in the original Yinzer.
Non Sequitor still hasn't given up on the weekly VH1 Top 20 Countdown.
<font face="futura"><span style="font-size: 20px;">otnemip htiw deffuts sevilo!</span></font f>
Tobias' cold semolina tune
Salmon. So yummy, so good.
<span style="font-size: 20px;"><font face="garamond">"...You can tell it to the jury, you can stick it in your ear.
You can kiss the wrist of the Swiss Miss, mister, until you disappear.
You can find the time to imbibe wine and write the lines you can rhyme with the best kinds of minds
And the swine reclines as the mime tries to climb in slime.
<blink>Or you can do the confusion till your head falls off..."</font f></span></blink>
I haven't had Swiss Miss in a while. I should go buy some.
A man, a plan, a caret, a ban, a myriad, a sum, a lac, a liar, a hoop, a pint, a catalpa, a gas, an oil, a bird, a yell, a vat, a caw, a pax, a wag, a tax, a nay, a ram, a cap, a yam, a gay, a tsar, a wall, a car, a luger, a ward, a bin, a woman, a vassal, a wolf, a tuna, a nit, a pall, a fret, a watt, a bay, a daub, a tan, a cab, a datum, a gall, a hat, a fag, a zap, a say, a jaw, a lay, a wet, a gallop, a tug, a trot, a trap, a tram, a torr, a caper, a top, a tonk, a toll, a ball, a fair, a sax, a minim, a tenor, a bass, a passer, a capital, a rut, an amen, a ted, a cabal, a tang, a sun, an ass, a maw, a sag, a jam, a dam, a sub, a salt, an axon, a sail, an ad, a wadi, a radian, a room, a rood, a rip, a tad, a pariah, a revel, a reel, a reed, a pool, a plug, a pin, a peek, a parabola, a dog, a pat, a cud, a nu, a fan, a pal, a rum, a nod, an eta, a lag, an eel, a batik, a mug, a mot, a nap, a maxim, a mood, a leek, a grub, a gob, a gel, a drab, a citadel, a total, a cedar, a tap, a gag, a rat, a manor, a bar, a gal, a cola, a pap, a yaw, a tab, a raj, a gab, a nag, a pagan, a bag, a jar, a bat, a way, a papa, a local, a gar, a baron, a mat, a rag, a gap, a tar, a decal, a tot, a led, a tic, a bard, a leg, a bog, a burg, a keel, a doom, a mix, a map, an atom, a gum, a kit, a baleen, a gala, a ten, a don, a mural, a pan, a faun, a ducat, a pagoda, a lob, a rap, a keep, a nip, a gulp, a loop, a deer, a leer, a lever, a hair, a pad, a tapir, a door, a moor, an aid, a raid, a wad, an alias, an ox, an atlas, a bus, a madam, a jag, a saw, a mass, an anus, a gnat, a lab, a cadet, an em, a natural, a tip, a caress, a pass, a baronet, a minimax, a sari, a fall, a ballot, a knot, a pot, a rep, a carrot, a mart, a part, a tort, a gut, a poll, a gateway, a law, a jay, a sap, a zag, a fat, a hall, a gamut, a dab, a can, a tabu, a day, a batt, a waterfall, a patina, a nut, a flow, a lass, a van, a mow, a nib, a draw, a regular, a call, a war, a stay, a gam, a yap, a cam, a ray, an ax, a tag, a wax, a paw, a cat, a valley, a drib, a lion, a saga, a plat, a catnip, a pooh, a rail, a calamus, a dairyman, a bater, a canal--Panama
We do nothing but brocade, but we do it well.
A tisket, a tasket, a green and yellow basket.
For ceremonial purposes only!
Funk Pop a Roll?
Frank on a Roll!
Non Sequitor spars with spires of spiced Spam in
Spanaway .
Doobie doobie doobie doo!
Originally posted by rickshaw1:
("3X2(9YZ)4A")
That was Quick.
Non Sequitor thought you meant <span style="font-size: 15px;">
Calamine</span> Tea.
My body needs calamine lotion,
My body's burned all overrrrrrrrrrrrr
...Mother, Dear Mother, come home with me now
This bingo game may last all night
Poor Dad's had no dinner but pretzels and gin
He's really a sorrowful sight...
Non Sequitor is anxiously waiting in line for the newest iPhone. Why he's waiting in line for it at KFC is anyone's guess.
Non Sequitor and On-Topic Angel are secretly best friends.
Boat early and boat often.
A - Andromeda
B - Brainiac 5
C - Chemical King
D - Dawnstar
E - Emerald Empress
F - Fortress Lad
G - Gigi Cusimano
H - H'hrnath
I - Infectious Lass
J - Jeryl, Ambassador
K - Kinetix
L - Lamprey
M - Monstress
N - Nightwind
O - Ol-vir
P - Princess Projectra
Q - Quislet
R - RJ Brande
S - Styx
T - Theena
U - Umbra
V - Veilmist
W - Wildfire
X - Xera of Manna-5
Y - Yera Allon
Z - Zynthia
<span style="font-size: 28px;"><font face="goudy">Special Homemakers' Contest</span></font f>
Are nuns really just creatures of habit?
B.L.T. but there ain't no sauce!
It's enough to feed a horse,
That's true!
Jeanette Kangas (nee' Wrate)
A - Animal Lad
B - Beast Boy
C - Chameleon
D - Duplicate Damsel
E - Element Lad
F - Flynt Brojj
G - Galactic Coordinator
H - Holt
I - Implicate Girl
J - Janice Warren
K - Karate Kid
L - Lamprey
M - Magnetic Kid
N - Night Girl
O - Oli-3 Queen
P - Porcupine Pete
Q - Queeg
R - Rainbow Girl
S - Styx
T - Thora
U - Uli Algor
V - Valor
W - Winema Wazzo
X - Xamuel Ivar
Y - Yark Althu
Z - Zera Vultan
We had Moy, we had Hrun
We had Legion On The Run
But the zaniest of antic
Were just fodder for our fanfic
Ohmygod, so like I said, Mr Shakeyrear and a red mustang convertible is the like obvious answer.
A - Atom
B - Black Canary
C - Connor Hawke
D - Doctor Light (Kimiyo Hoshi)
E - Elongated Man
F - Fire
G - Guy Gardner
H - Huntress
I - Ice
J - John Stewart
K - Kilowog
L - L-Ron
M - Martian Manhunter
N - Nightwing
O - Oracle
P - Power Girl
Q - Question
R - Red Tornado
S - Sue Dibny
T - Tomorrow Woman
U - Uncle Sam
V - Vixen
W - Wonder Woman
X - Xanshi
Y - Yazz
Z - Zatanna
A - Abin Quank
B - Beagz
C - Cobalt Kid
D - Director Lad
E - Eryk Davis Ester
F - Fanfic Lady
G - Gigglebot Girl
H - He Who Wanders
I - Invisible Brainiac
J - Jimgallagher
K - Kent Shakespeare
L - Lard Lad
M - MLLASH
N - Nightcrawler
O - Outdoor Miner
P - Power Boy
Q - Quislet, Esq.
R - Rockhopper Lad
S - Spellbinder
T - Thriftshop Debutante
U - Ultra Jorge
V - Varalent
W - Walkwithcrowds
X - XBen
Y - Yellow Kid
Z - Zardi
Ohmygod! I want a bowl of alphabet soup.
I think butternut squash soup is better than alphabet soup.
Earth
Fire
Wind
Water
Lightning
Pull the string and Non Sequitor says...
<span class="spoiler_containter"><span class="spoiler_wording">Click Here For A Spoiler</span><span class="spoiler_text"><blink><span style="font-size: 22px;">..........</blink></span></span></span>
I'm Henry the eighth, I am
Henry the eighth I am, I am
Armenia
Brazil
Chile
Dominican Republic
Ethiopia
France
Greece
Honduras
Iceland
Jordan
Kiribati
Laos
Marshall Islands
Nepal
Oman
Philippines
Qatar
Rwanda
Senegal
Tunisia
Uzbekistan
Vanuatu
Yemen
Zimbabwe
Won't you take me to...
<span class="spoiler_containter"><span class="spoiler_wording">Click Here For A Spoiler</span><span class="spoiler_text">...CABBAGETOWN?</span></span>
Algeria
Barbados
Cambodia
Denmark
Egypt
Finland
Guatemala
Haiti
India
Jamaica
Kyrgyzstan
Liberia
Myanmar
Nigeria
Palau
Russia
Seychelles
Togo
Uganda
Vietnam
Zambia
This is really throwing money out the window. I can throw orange rinds on the ceiling as well as the blender can!
Albania
Brunei
China
Djibouti
El Salvador
Fiji
Grenada
Hungary
Indonesia
Japan
Kuwait
Luxembourg
Monaco
Nicaragua
Portugal
Romania
Sao Tome and Principe
Tajikistan
United Arab Emirates
Vatican City
Uh, that better not be your hand.
When he dies, Non Sequitor will be laid out on a slab of marble cake.
Angola
Bhutan
Cameroon
Dominica
Equatorial Guinea
Ghana
Iran
Kenya
Latvia
Mongolia
Niger
Pakistan
Saudi Arabia
Thailand
United Kingdom
Venezuela
Let surface dry for at least 24 hours before applying a second coat.
Remember remember the fifth of November
Gunpowder, treason and plot.
I see no reason why gunpowder, treason
Should ever be forgot...
Andorra
Benin
Chad
Eritrea
Gabon
Ireland
Kazakhstan
Lesotho
Madagascar
New Zealand
Papua New Guinea
Saint Lucia
Trinidad and Tobago
United States of America
and a bucket of your best schmaltz herring, to go please!
Angola
Burkina Faso
Cyprus
Estonia
Guyana
Iraq
Kosovo
Liechtenstein
Malawi
Nauru
Poland
Somalia
Turkey
Oye como suena la musica
Mira como brilla el sol
Con una pila que dura
Con EVEREADY
Todo el mundo entra en accion
I ate a whole box of cookies tonight.
What exactly do gobstoppers stop, exactly?
Randy cementhead grates all the chocolate
"...Nothing here is really real
That crocodile is made of steel
That ghost is a hologram
That road is quicksand..."
Lego Joker. Scarier than the real thing.
And much harder to assemble.
Baton baton who's got the baton?
Ease throb yams curry arty
Then hang a sharp right past Bert's Taco Palace.
Antigua and Barbuda
Bangladesh
Colombia
Georgia
Ireland
Libya
Mozambique
Netherlands
Paraguay
Solomon Islands
Tuvalu
New movie "Bobbysoxs and Buzzsaws".
Non Sequitor went a-courtin' and his ears were dyed.
Uh-huh.
Afghanistan
Armenia
Azerbaijan
Bahrain
Bangladesh
Bhutan
Brunei
Cambodia
China
Georgia
India
Indonesia
Iran
Iraq
Israel
Japan
Jordan
Kazkahstan
Kuwait
Kyrgyzstan
Laos
Lebanon
Malaysia
Maldives
Mongolia
Myanmar
Nepal
North Korea
Oman
Pakistan
Palestine
Philippines
Saudi Arabia
Singapore
South Korea
Sri Lanka
Syria
Taiwan
Tajikistan
Thailand
Timor-Leste
Turkey
Turkmenistan
United Arab Emirates
Uzbekistan
Vietnam
Yemen
"...She's only fooling Tangerine..."
I love black and white
dream in black and white
Albania
Andorra
Austria
Belarus
Belgium
Bosnia and Herzegovina
Bulgaria
Croatia
Cyprus
Czech Republic
Denmark
Estonia
Finland
France
Germany
Greece
Hungary
Iceland
Ireland
Italy
Kosovo
Latvia
Liechtenstein
Lithuania
Luxembourg
Macedonia
Malta
Moldova
Monaco
Montenegro
Netherlands
Norway
Poland
Portugal
Romania
Russia
San Marino
Serbia
Slovakia
Slovenia
Spain
Sweden
Switzerland
United Kingdom
Ukraine
Vatican City
Then we searched every hatbox in the place, but we never did find Charo.
Non-Sequitor wonders if lists of countries in alphabetical order really are non-sequiturs.
Australia
Fiji
Kiribati
Marshall Islands
(Federated States of) Micronesia
Nauru
New Zealand
Papua New Guinea
Palau
Samoa
Solomon Islands
Tonga
Tuvalu
Vanuatu
<span style="font-size: 21px;"><font face="caslon">"...Just when it seems so clear
That it's over now
Drink your big black cow
And get out of here..."</font f></span>
Argentina
Bolivia
Brazil
Chile
Colombia
Ecuador
Guyana
Paraguay
Peru
Suriname
Uruguay
Venezuela
Antigua and Barbuda
Bahamas
Barbados
Belize
Canada
Costa Rica
Cuba
Dominica
Dominican Republic
El Salvador
Grenada
Guatemala
Haiti
Honduras
Jamaica
Mexico
Nicaragua
Panama
Saint Kitts and Nevis
Saint Lucia
Saint Vincent and the Grenadines
Trinidad and Tobago
United States of America
Laughing on the outside, frying on the inside.
Algeria
Angola
Benin
Botswana
Burkina Faso
Burundi
Cameroon
Cape Verde
Central African Republic
Chad
Comoros
Congo
Cote d'Ivoire
Democratic Republic of Congo
Djibouti
Egypt
Equatorial Guinea
Eritrea
Ethiopia
Gabon
The Gambia
Ghana
Guinea
Guinea-Bissau
Kenya
Lesotho
Liberia
Libya
Madagwascar
Malawi
Mali
Mauritania
Mauritius
Morocco
Mozambique
Namibia
Niger
Nigeria
Rwanda
Sao Tome and Principe
Senegal
Seychelles
Sierra Leone
Somalia
South Africa
South Sudan
Sudan
Swaziland
Tanzania
Togo
Tunisia
Uganda
Zambia
Zimbabwe
Originally posted by cleome46:
![[Linked Image]](http://farm5.staticflickr.com/4128/5067233724_f3b7cd10ae.jpg)
That is the wurst thing imaginable...
Sage
Oregano
Rosemary
Parsley
Cumin
Paprika
Cayenne Pepper
Tarragon
Thyme
Basil
Nutmeg
Cinnamon
Vanilla
Marjoram
Celery
Chives
Curry Powder
Okra
Bay Leaves
Originally posted by Kent Shakespeare:
Originally posted by cleome46:
[b]
You other brothers can't deny...
I haven't done any work yet all morning!
Chocolate
Vanilla
Strawberry
Ube
Melon
Mango
Sweet Corn
Mocha
Coffee
Cookies and Cream
Double Dutch
Rocky Road
Bubble Gum
Green Tea
Avocado
Pistachio
Cookie Dough
Raspberry
Banana
Pecan Pie
Non Sequitor confuses mistletoe and camel toe. Hilarity ensues.
Originally posted by cleome46:
Non Sequitor confuses mistletoe and camel toe. Hilarity ensues.
Some woman is gonna be REAL happy or REAL mad
The Mad Hatter said we're all quite mad!
Itsy bitsy teensie weensie yellow polka dot bikini
Andy Dick's Xmas movie is on RIGHT NOW, You all MUST WATCH IT!!!!
"The Hebrew Hammer"
Cornflower
Periwinkle
Melon
Pine Green
Orchid
Chestnut
Timberwolf
Outer Space
Goldenrod
Never was a Cornflake girl
Thought that was a good solution
Hanging with the raisin girls
ding dong the witch is dead, the wicked witch is dead!
Hey, who wants to get drunk tonight?
Gotta' go. My turtle's double parked.
Hey, who wants to get drunk tonight?
get? mmm hmmm ....
Non Sequitor in the potting shed with a broken binder clip.
tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock
She had the asparagus. Her pee will stink up the place.
Arsenic
Bismuth
Cobalt
Dubnium
Einsteinium
Fluorine
Gold
Hydrogen
Iodine
Krypton
Lutetium
Manganese
Nickel
Oxygen
Phosphorus
Radium
Strontium
Tungsten
Uranium
Vanadium
Xenon
Yttrium
Zinc
...and then she said "Phlebitus"!
...through Casper Weinberger's toes.
Casper the friendly ghost, the friendliest ghost you'll know...
I knew a couple of Bgztlians who'd scare people by sneaking up in them and going BOO!
Non Sequitor wore a broom to breakfast.
NS is a tiny dancer who only dances in the streets
You'll be safe here, in my arms, through the long cold night sleep tight... You'll be safe here...
Aurora
Batanes
Cebu
Davao Oriental
Guimaras
Iloilo
Kalinga
La Union
Masbate
Negros Occidental
Palawan
Romblon
Samar
Zambales
Arsenic
Boron
Copper
Dubnium
Europium
Fluorine
Germanium
Iodine
Krypton
Lithium
Manganese
Nitrogen
Oxygen
Phosphorus
Radon
Sodium
Tin
Uranium
Vanadium
Tungsten
Xenon
Yttrium
Zinc
Amsterdam
Berlin
Cairo
Dublin
Edinburgh
Florence
Greensboro
Honolulu
Ibiza
Juxian
Kinshasa
London
Maseru
Nottingham
Oslo
Panama City
Quebec
Rotterdam
Saint Louis
Tashkent
Ulaanbaatar
Victoria
Wellington
Xiamen
Yazd
Zanzibar
What the heck was the Emerald Empress thinking with that last outfit?! Eye'm embarrassed to even be remotely associated with her!
And there's no time left for losing, when you stand here falliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing....
Cheese Nips make me think Cheese Nipples.
Then Benny Green, he made the scene
Not sober
It was October
In my braiiiiiiiiiin...
And now for guava. Wobbly doughnut, right.
Non Sequitor asked Joe Don Baker to the Senior Prom.
I live for the applesauce, applesauce, applesauce...
Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear.
"Alan Moore
knows the score."
Four score and seven years ago...
Tacky loofah indie aptitude.
I wish I could use my cash back to save the day.
I think I am watching the very worst film ever made.
Must be time for me to go too.
Togo is a country in West Africa where voodoo is still very much alive.
The boys in Logistics have agreed to bring scallops and drywall.
Don't sit on the porcupine!
Life is like a hurricane here in Duckburg
Race cars, lasers, aeroplanes - it's a duck blur
You might solve a mystery or rewrite history
Duck Tales, Oo-oo
Tales of derring-do, bad and good luck tales, oo-oo
source:
http://www.lyricsondemand.com/tvthemes/ducktaleslyrics.html
Non Sequitor spent two weeks in I.C. after ignoring rickshaw1's warning not to put his hand there.
Who would have thought touching rick there was such a bad idea.
Dough wattle Ananda nylon Milo.
ask not what Non Sequitor can do for you, ask what you can do for Non Sequitor.
Queen, quilt, quote, quaff, quick, quite. I love saying the letter Q.
But, Officer, I don't even own a Cornballer™!
How the hell did Detroit get 18 Billion dollars in the hole! Twinkies???
Hebaliser!
Moisturizer!
Heatmiser!
mince up
the night
instant recline
replay
the parts
sound off
repeat
I just don't see where the boiled eggs fit into hydro electric dam construction.
Plus signs are really pretty.
Fungus fungus chalk dust chalk dust
You are the silly putty between my toes.
The Big Red Cheese carries the little wiggly worm.
"...Can you please tell me the price
Of murder by the slice?
Green pills in the dresser drawerAnd Pigpen stars to laugh
He says
'Hitler is a hero,
'And God is a giraffe...'"
Everything is relevant to someone.
Ay carambola!!
Non Sequitor says Let A Simile Be Your Umbrella.
It goes about as well as you'd expect.
I like the taste of snow on my tongue.
The rooster crows
The loon replies
High o'er our heads
The black crow flies
The keel of our boat
Disturbs high Heaven
It breaks one white cloud
Into seven.
Non Sequitor drives 55... squirrels to Day Care, every morning on his way to work.
Non Sequitor wants you to know that he's very happy right now.
Cook a spiritualist: It's rare that a medium is well done
...from the purple turtle and the psychedelic doorknob.
I was disapointed with cucumber when work offered me a new roll.
Non Sequitor gives the kids Nematodes on Halloween.
You put WHAT on my doorknob?!?!11$$
Where did all those zits come from?
"Hello, Peter Gabriel. Want some Cream Of Wheat™ ?"
Non Sequitor threw his alarm clock out the window, because he wanted to believe that a man can fly.
Are there really 69 flavors of ice cream here?
Hey I'm drowning here. Throw me a brick.
I tried on too many colognes at the same time!
and were making riotous scrolls and roses all over it
Do you know your chicken?
...so in the grand scheme of things kitty litter.
I told her that building a house on a mountaintop would surely attract comets. But she was right. She laughed at me right up until the day the meteorite hit her on the head.
That didn't smell quite right.
Bazooka Joe/Swiss Miss/Holly Hobby
Hobby horses... for messageboard equestrians.
I asked the waiter for 2 Poms. Not what I expected. Cheerleader practice is going well.
Pomeranians are so fluffy!!!
skate on over yesterday and SAAAAAAAVE!!!!
remember, a stitch in time... is caused by eating right before going into a time bubble.
Plaque, plague, plaque, plaque...
Plague, Plague, Plague, Plague, Plague... last time I let Drura pick a time bubble destination.
Itching. Itching everywhere.
Logical fallacies aren't going to trim the branches of that big tree.
- the non secateurs thread.
Satyrs abound! Smelly little hairy creatures.
The falling dollar causes far less damage to people's heads than the falling fish.
Gah! Bile! WHAM! Go! Ewe Z.
Smallpox, swine flu, bubonic plague...
If cats were hats, you'd notice a lot more screaming as you walked about.
It's all smoke and mirrors. But if you had to pick one, go with smoke.
She was waiting in the parking lot, standing under a light. It was one of those soft brown lights, casting long shadows away, and leaving her in near total darkness under her wide-brimmed hat. Even so, you could tell she had curves to make a man of such mind interested.
She was just one empty lot away from my car. As I got closer, she lifted a cigarette to her lips, still hidden in the shadows and said...
"Pumpkin beer is a noted integral number past Lyrus 9, got a fish?"
"They don't make crime stories like that any more," said Mr Zeeblee. "Or like this," he added, carefully arranging his cast of oysters.
Fluffy bunnies everywhere.
All of our children must be so smart because
we spend so much on our education system.
My dog pooped in my room again.
Engineers doubted the dog poo dam would hold, but Mr & Mrs Beaver insisted that with a few sticks and some willing volunteers holding hands across it, it would work.
Flavored popcorn everywhere!
Pow! Right between the light sockets!
I was blinded by science. If only I had worn the pork pie hat and not the fedora to the testing site that day.
Drah di net um. Der Kommissar geht um.
Maraming Salamat.
Terimah Kasih.
Kob kun krab.
Xie xie.
Arigato Gozaimasu.
Aw Khun.
Shukuriyaa.
Je ne sais pas non plus. Il était tout Google Translate!
You don't even want to know what Non Sequitor thinks "Raspberry Beret" is slang for.
Itchy ditchy dangle
Itchy ditchy doo
Going once Going twice
Sold to Fu Manchu
- Spike Milligan
Medium sized laddy for a palfrey....Hit!
The fall of the Ottomans was a disaster in our household: A fractured ankle and some nasty bruising.
Ceci n'est pas un chapeau
Ceci n'est pas une television.
Kiev, Chisinau, Minsk, Moscow, Baku, Tbilisi, Yerevan, Astana, Ashgabat, Tashkent, Bishkek, Dushanbe
League One Football: It wasn't what the passengers of the Orient Express had expected. It was murder. But only to watch.
Ask no what you can do for your pineapple, ask what your pineapple can do for you.
If the spud fits, wear it!
Non Sequitor says that Granny Sequitor's homemade zucchini relish keeps his skin looking young and supple.
Apia
Canberra
Funafuti
Honiara
Nuku'alofa
Majuro
Melekeok
Palikir
Port Moresby
Port Vila
Suva
Tarawa
Wellington
Yaren
Barbed Wire and Rotten Girl
Waddle waiter Mickey Levin.
I hate airline seat sales. Hate them hate them hate them. The good seats are always available only on really bad days to travel.
Ranks rah rye rye Ritz rah rate ray roar railing.
5 empty bottles of beer on my desk, 5 empty bottles of beer...
Maligayang bati, maligayang bati...
"It true what they say. It's not the "fud" that gets you, it's the sudden "kerash".
Abra
Bohol
Cagayan
Dinagat Islands
Guimaras
Iloilo
Kalinga
Laguna
Marinduque
Negros Occidental
Oriental Mindoro
Palawan
Quezon
Romblon
Sulu
Tawi-Tawi
Zambales
The wages of sin is death.
The fee form jazz class took a down turn when the balloon animals came out.
I gave up fee form jazz for free form jazz. I felt that's where the future was. I was right. Darn time travelling Durlans ruined it for everyone.
I thought if you had an acoustic guitar, it meant that you were a protest singer.
There's a skull in that cave!!
Sew dough ewe wet wash whiff whee!
My throat! Oh, my aching throat!
Peaches and kumquats and pears, oh my!
Meek...AH-CHOO...row, bibip.
Alakazam
Bulbasaur
Charmander
Deoxys
Exeggcute
Florges
Gardevoir
Hariyama
Igglybuff
Jynx
Kingdra
Lapras
Machamp
Noctowl
Omanyte
Pikachu
Qwilfish
Remoraid
Starmie
Typhlosion
Unown
Volbeat
Wailord
Xatu
Yanmega
Zapdos
Oyster tuna Baba ensue payday.
Apparition
Brainiac 5
Chameleon
Duplicate Damsel
Echo
Future Lass
Gates
Hate-Face
Infectious Lass
Jacques Foccart
Kinetix
Life Lass
Matter-Eater Lad
Nightwind
Omen
Particon
Queen Projectra
Radion
Supergirl
Tharok
Umbra
Veilmist
White Witch
XS
Yera Allon
Ze Tongue
Big Z, little z, what begins with Z?
I do.
I am a
Zizzer-Zazzer-Zuzz
as you can plainly see.
Apple
Barbara
Clive
Dupa
Eilie
Flik
Georg Prime
Hai Yo
Isabel
Jeane
Killey
Leona
Miklotov
Nanami
Oulan
Pesmerga
Queen
Riou
Simone
Tengaar
Urda
Viktor
Wakaba
Xebec
Yoshino
Zerase
I love the
Suikoden series!
Z is for Zebra for row upon row.
One of the best types of characters in Suikoden 2 are the long-range magicians. They have weapons that can hit the enemies' back row, and they have good magical abilities. Eilie, Rina, Tengaar and to some extent Millie and Meg, Ayda and Kinnison and Simone can do that.
Athens, Greece
Bangkok, Thailand
Cagayan de Oro, Philippines
Dubai, United Arab Emirates
Esfahan, Iran
Florence, Italy
Geneva, Switzerland
Hamburg, Germany
Istanbul, Turkey
Johannesburg, South Africa
Kabul, Afghanistan
Los Angeles, United States of America
Marrakech, Morocco
Nairobi, Kenya
Oaxaca, Mexico
Prague, Czech Republic
Queenstown, New Zealand
Reykjavik, Iceland
Siem Reap, Cambodia
Toulouse, France
Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia
Valletta, Malta
Warsaw, Poland
Xiamen, China
Yerevan, Armenia
Zagreb, Croatia
Ma...ma...ma...
Mama Maria
Ma...oh...ma...ma...ma...
Mama Maria
Abu Dhabi, United Arab Emirates
Bagan, Myanmar
Chiang Mai, Thailand
Dili, Timor-Leste
Eskisehir, Turkey
Fahud, Oman
Georgetown, Malaysia
Hanoi, Vietnam
Incheon, South Korea
Jaipur, India
Kathmandu, Nepal
Luang Prabang, Laos
Male, Maldives
Nara, Japan
Osh, Kyrgyzstan
Phnom Penh, Cambodia
Qom, Iran
Ratnapura, Sri Lanka
Singapore, Singapore
Tel Aviv, Israel
Ualik, Uzbekistan
Vigan, Philippines
Wakra, Qatar
Xian, China
Yogyakarta, Indonesia
Zahle, Lebanon
Alphabet antics, alphabet antics
Alphabet, alphabet, alphabet antics
I like that trout mask. Is it a real one?
Little Captain B Flat goes into a bar. The barman shouts "Get Out! We don't serve Minors!"
Amsterdam, Netherlands
Bucharest, Romania
Cospicua, Malta
Dublin, Ireland
Edinburgh, United Kingdom
Furth, Germany
Gdansk, Poland
Horsens, Denmark
Innsbruck, Austria
Jyväskylä, Finland
Kotor, Montenegro
Luxembourg, Luxembourg
Madrid, Spain
Nicosia, Cyprus
Ohrid, (former Yugoslav Republic of) Macedonia
Porto, Portugal
Quimper, France
Rome, Italy
Stockholm, Sweden
Tallinn, Estonia
Ulyanovsk, Russia
Vatican City, Vatican City
Xanthi, Greece
Ypres, Belgium
Zugdidi, Georgia
Ubaldo uses umbrellas in an utterly unique fashion.
The rambutan on my desk smells bad.
Non Sequitor would take you to Funkytown, but the bridge is out.
Non Sequitor lip synchs to Lipps Inc tracks, but telepathically sings them to you at the same time.
Non Sequitor's favorite candy is wax lips.
Jazzin' through the blowcomb in my mind...
Non Sequitor dresses in vintage 70s fashions (if you can call them fashions).
Head cheese for the hills!
Non Sequitor used to sing Iron Maiden's "Run to the Hills" in the shower, until the neighbors complained.
Engrave it, don't shave it.
Caca piddle
Caca fart
Vaca riddle
Vaca barf
Burma shave
Angkor Wat
Big Ben
Ellora Caves
Forbidden City
Grand Canyon
Ifugao Rice Terraces
Kiyomizu-Dera
Lincoln Memorial
Machu Picchu
Petra
Saint Peter's Basilica
Lush lie wren Nashville ether.
I'm having a bad case of writer's block. and procrastination. With a little bit of fatigue mixed in.
See our river that catches on fire...
Red, red butt
It hurts so bad
I'll sure be glad
When these hemorrhoids are gone
I use creams
But it seems
The pain never goes away
Red, red butt
Red, red butt, the pain it drive me nuts
Used to be healthy, now I'm in the ruts
Red, red butt, you make me feel like dirt
Turning my life into a world of hurt
I have an itch
I don't dare scratch
My once-pasty little pooper is now burning crimson red
Motherhood is mental freeze....freezeheads.
Scheherazade's got nothing on me.
By the power of my True Wind Rune...
Non Sequitor isn't a Lori Morning person.
"IIIIIIIIIIIT'S CHRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISTMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS!"
(Yes, I know very well it's not Christmas yet, I just felt like making a pop-culture reference that only people in Great Britain are likely to get.)
It might as well be Christmas here. The malls are already starting to play Christmas carols.
Non-Sequitor likes 90s mall-ternative rock.
Ice cream makes me fat, but I like it anyway.
"IIIIIIIIIIIT'S CHRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISTMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS!"
Non Sequitor always feels the noize.
Non Sequitor gets down, down, down to bangin' at home.
Non Sequitor tried to pass off pizza dough as money.
Featuring Sam Phillips on Chamberlain
Special Guest Star: Haha Haha as Hahaha.
Whereupon I turned to my parole officer and said, "Look, I'm sorry, but I really did think that the trapeze came with the house."
After someone recommended he try nose candy, Non Sequitor snorted powdered sugar.
Time was all we had until the day we said "Good-Bye."
Radio Go Go, Radio Ga Ga...
Feng Shui in the water, Children.
Swooned and swayed and mooned and made.
The dog refuses to eat Non Sequitor's homework.
"Her nose ring was a clip on?? Damn you, Joan Osborne, I thought you were "alternative!""
It's all part of this nutria's breakfast.
Moon Safaris on Non Sequitor's Space Hoppers!
"So you can frost your damn cornflakes, filthy American pigs!!"
Come along
If you please
Sing a song
Bumblebees
Me and you
You and me
One big happy family
Fay Fay Fa Fa Bom Bom Beam
Le Fay's fiefdom of folly and flummery.
Coyote (Famishus Starvius)
Road Runner (Delicious Delicious)
Traaaaaaafffiiiiiiiiiccccc
Cold. Brrr.
"Better than the nutter who nuts ya in the nuts."
Brush your teeth from side to side...
I miss my baby
Daffy Duck says you're dethpicable.
Now also available gluten-free!!
A girl in trouble is a temporary thing
The terrible traffic makes me sad
Work from car! Work from car!
Gary Numan allegedly lives on red meat and bread & butter.
(Thank you, Pop-Up Video.)
Floss floss in your teeth
"While they both watch Meet The Press,
Yetta yearns for Eliot Ness..."
Yetta 'nother tale of love lost.
- Monthly from Rip Your Heart Out Press.
Knot a whirl dough moo
To the pita just one try...
Philippines, check
Singapore, check
Vietnam, check
Cambodia, check
Indonesia, check
Malaysia, check
Thailand, check
Myanmar, check
Onions and relish and mustard an ketchup and cheddar and salsa and olives and pepper
IB's top 25 travel wishlist in alphabetical order:
Australia
Bolivia
Brazil
Chile
Egypt
France
Greece
Iceland
India
Israel
Italy
Jordan
Madagascar
Mexico
Nepal
Peru
Romania
South Africa
Spain
Tanzania
Turkey
United Kingdom
United States of America
Uzbekistan
Vanuatu
Sweet ichthyologist
Won't you write for a fish magazine?
Termites! What about the termites!
Get some water! Get some iodine! Gurmz! Gurmz!
Would you say I have a plethora of pinatas?
Monaco! Qatar! Jamaica! Maldives! Vanuatu!
Vanuatu: The holiday destination of the Watcher.
Watch the hot air balloons rise with the sun in Bagan, Myanmar.
Watch the sunset cast dancing shadows over Angkor in Cambodia.
Watch the majestic sea creatures frolicking in the rich waters of Tubbataha, Philippines.
Washing the clues around, washing the clues around.
You look, but do you see?
Sticky salty sunburned skin
Roman à Clef: Grizzled Italian spaghetti western actor.
Philippines! Nepal! Iceland! Peru! Cambodia! Australia! Japan! Israel! Tanzania! Italy! Jordan! France!
El Oso smells oh, so bad.
Bangkok might just be the Gay Capital of Asia.
Pfft.
Ro-Beast.
El Corazon?
Heffalump.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
Two Philippine islands,
Palawan and Boracay, are among the world's best as chosen by Travel + Leisure readers. I'm happy to say I've been to both!
Don't try to buy laxatives at the drug store where the Poop Nazi works. He'll refuse to give them to you and say, "No poop for you!"
Daman Village in Nepal has breathtaking views of the Himalayas, and it's only about 2 hours away from Kathmandu.
The Bahamas is the most recent ratifier of the UNESCO World Heritage Convention.
The only sovereign states who haven't ratified it yet are Liechtenstein, Nauru, Somalia, South Sudan, Timor-Leste and Tuvalu.
Taiwan is not a UN member and cannot ratify the treaty.
Kosovo is a special case; its independence is widely recognized but it is not a UN member and cannot ratify. However, some monuments in its territory are inscribed under Serbia.
The Vatican City and Palestine, despite not being UN members, also have properties inscribed under them.
The following have ratified the treaty, but have failed to get an inscription approved:
Asia: Bhutan, Brunei, Kuwait, Maldives, Singapore
Africa: Angola, Burundi, Comoros, Djibouti, Equatorial Guinea, Eritrea, Guinea-Bissau, Liberia, Rwanda, Sao Tome and Principe, Sierra Leone, Swaziland
North America: Antigua and Barbuda, Bahamas, Grenada, Jamaica, Saint Vincent and the Grenadines, Trinidad and Tobago
South America: Guyana
Europe: Monaco
Oceania: Federated States of Micronesia, Samoa, Tonga
TYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
TYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
TYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY...
Rats!
Good morning, Papua New Guinea!!
Bunnies and puppies, so fluffy oh my!
"Yeah, like I'm gonna spend the rest of my life standing around in the kitchen crankin' out babies while I'm makin' pancakes for some plumber!"
"I'm just a Kleenex in your tissue box of life, a dirty, used-up snot-rag you used to call your wife."
Clients calling on a weekend, weekend...
"'Even though we ain't got money, I'm so in love with you, honey...' What bullshit."
Pumping iron, biceps in pain...
"And if a ten-ton truck kills the both of us, to die on your side, well, the pleasure and the privilege is mine."
Traffic traffic everywhere
Thither Thuthy Thitting on a Thithle.
Troglodyte, peacock, peacock!
A cockatoo makes caca, too.
Been trying...deeper meaning...now raisin, juicy so pree-zent.
Brevity is the soul of wit.
If you feel blue, look to poo-poo.
Non Sequitor likes to sing the chorus to the Pointer Sisters' "Jump (For My Love)" while lolling his tongue, and he always changes the word "kisses" to "feces".
I'm having such a hard time concentrating...
Twaddle Truffle Toodles Tedious Twofer
Non Sequitor's idea of a jazz singer is Norah Jones.
Ready, romantic? Ride! CHUNKA, CHUNKA!
Non Sequitor didn't want to watch Super Friends. Yeti did.
Road Rage:
![[Linked Image]](http://i1015.photobucket.com/albums/af278/megacity07/176px-Bb-tigress_zps478ebf32.jpg)
Non Sequitor tries to pronounce "ungulate" with his tongue sticking out.
Non Sequitor likes to quote a line from Dr. Seuss' "There's a Wocket in My Pocket": "But that Goothbrush on the toothbrush...him I can do without."
Except that Non Sequitor always quotes it without opening his mouth.
"Mmf mmf mmf mf mmf mmf mmf mmf...mf mf mf mf mmf mmf."
I get nowhere peachy keen
Oluk has Waylon, has Willy, Wally, Wooly.
Sleepy, sleepy, sleepy me
Stained, and a glazed worry leaf.
Non Sequitor likes to sing the theme song to Duck Tales while lolling his tongue and doing the neutron dance.
It's raining! But not men sadly.
Ookoobi Goofoyu
Yookoobi Goofomitu
Nepal
Peru
Bolivia
Iceland
France
Italy
Australia
Vanuatu
Madagascar
Tanzania
Egypt
Israel
South Africa
Uzbekistan
Mexico
USA
India
Japan
Thailand
Cambodia
Sri Lanka
Turkey
Switzerland
This recent Shout Box post from rickshaw1 makes me wonder if perhaps HE is the mysterious Non Sequitor:
I am not, repeat not, dancin nekid in the bathroom. I'm just not.
Too tired. Slept on bathroom floor
That's okay, Ibby. Better than pooping on the bathroom floor.
(Not a non sequitor, I know, but I couldn't resist. Besides, I've re-animated this thread enough times to have earned the right to bend the rules every once in a great while.)
(Thanks Fanfie
)
Puppies and bunnies and cuckoos!
Troglodyte, turkey, turkey
(I might have used that one before. I feel too lazy ATM to do a search.)
Robot pimple popping!
![[Linked Image]](http://i1015.photobucket.com/albums/af278/megacity07/robot_bitchslap_zpszebiauym.jpg)
Robots are so helpful.
I like cheeky buggery Power Boy Robot!
Dreamy, this surely is my Mom.
A week a wash, a Wonka way.
She shoe zing ash eat rubble
If you don't marry Froggy you're gonna' die an old maid.
Ding dang dong go the wedding bells.
Rabinowitz, Rabinowitz, Rabinowitz & Sons
Doooo yooou, YOU...feel like my poo?
Here, put on this jewelry.
Tired
But before you cut the red wire...
There's something strange going on around here...
CAW! Quincy ate my steak.
Kaze no Yō ni Hayaku!!!
Non Sequitor can't stop shaking his butt every time he hears the name Tom Lazarus.
"Yeast, yeast, give me the strength of a beast!"
My head hurts and it's raining.
until somebody threw a wasp's nest onto the field during the seventh inning stretch
Barking barking bark bark
followed by a light dusting of fresh-ground cinnamon mixed with the powdered sugar
Boom Boom, lush push teal ash.
Rye rant reap rid rim ran rye rotten red rid rout
It's not like anyone will notice the fish at the bottom anyway...
Murran, Artichoke...EEEE, Ramen!
Give a h00t, don't poll00t.
Puppies! Fluffy little puppies!
Poo-poo like a choo-choo.
ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
DERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
Mas agil que una tortuga
Mas fuerte que un raton
Mas noble que una lechuga
Su escudo es su corazon
Es...EL CHAPULIN COLORADO!
Green is my favorite color
Dish butcher ensures Confucius.
Headaches headaches headaches
Eat prunes, take laxatives, yada yada yada caca caca caca...
Doctor Non Sequitor prescribes laxatives to patients who need sedatives.
Meow
"Throw in an ampersand!"
&
"Hey, Mister Man, with the guitar in your hand,
You're a rubber-legged loony in a scruff-back band!"
With a blub blub blub and a glub glub glub my telescope my my my telescope
"ES EL LOBO"
"Precisamente es el"
"ES EL LOBO"
I hate triangles! I hate circles! I hate pi! But not pie.
I hate so-called entertainers who get in your face.
Non Sequitor loves that crap.
Iceland! Freaking cool Iceland! Land of fire and ice baby!!!!!
Hola...HA. Ale Poe bray low beetle 2 reef, eh?
Cold everywhere and on my nose
"Presidente, je. Despues de ver esto, no valgo ni para botones."
...'cause I've still got a lot of fight poop left in me.
It is cold and it bothers me
"The full monty? YOU lads?"
"Saltemos alegres como Rabito. UFFFF."
Starlight, starbright,
First star I see tonight,
I wish I may,
I wish I might,
Have the wish I wish tonight.
Green is my favorite color
"I've a rich understanding of my finest defenses."
Your mind's in the gutter, your love's in the sink
In an octagon's cartoon, in the glade
Finland
Finland
Finland
Finland has it all
Not everyone does like it
ting tang
walla walla bing bang
Finish by dusting the top generously with confectioner's sugar. Serves six.
Lalalaalalaalalalala Christmas decorations everywhere
"Cause reading is a TREEEYAP!"
Pilsners and stouts and doppelbocks
To Grand Moff Tarkin's house we go!
...best just leave it alone.
"...and clowns are pouring out of the casket. A lovely sight."
One, one, I'm gonna have some fun.
Two, two, I have make doo-doo.
Three, three, I start to poop and pee...
Four, four...on the bathroom floor.
"Maybe big lapels
And 32" bells
That's when I'm gonna' cash in..."
Non Sequitor thinks Roger Daltrey's solo remake of Elton John's "Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me" from the Lost Boys soundtrack is better than anything Daltrey sang for the Who.
Coffee is needed most urgently
That's sure a strange place to find hair growing.
Bit my tongue. For reals.
Rye rang rah Riley Rickets wrong
My favorite blanket is green
remembering to shake the pan continuously, as to prevent scorching
disco
disco
disco
disco DANCE MA-CHINE!!
a beer on the pier while I'm waitin' for you, Dear
then turn right at Ace Hardware and drive three blocks, past the giant inflatable pumpkin god. You can't miss it.
I saw a pumpkin the other day. It was big and round and orange.
I'm just a Kleenex in the tissue box of life...
Sleepless nights without you
"Leave the Bronx! You are ordered to leave the Bronx!"
"Yuuuuu tuuuuuu, Henry Silva."
Non Sequitor still doesn't know that the Partridge Family wasn't a real family.
Non Sequitor's brain was turned to a blancmange in the 90s from watching too many "Brady Bunch" marathons on TV.
Non Sequitor mistakes "Moo Goo Gai Pan" for onomatopoeia.
"Friction accepts all lies."
"You can't tell a lie to a lie."
My head hurts and I'm hungry
Need alleged reference? Past here.
...The "L" is for "Lithium." Yum Yum.
Non Sequitor learned the hard way what a "cow pie" really is.
Is it true? is Songbird finally a full-fledged Avenger?
There's a premise in there somewhere.
Ale V-8 how barf.
Barf, barf.
Costa Rica is known for green ecotourism.
I'd like to buy the world an Ex-Lax.
Mongolia is the least densely populated country
Wheel giddy, HA! Wah, wah, Dewey.
"Mo-lass-es!" - The Rampaging Sloth
Ale? HA! Rash day, Zuxo. Barf.
"They're having the Poe woe right above us."
Hangnail hangnail everywhere
The 100 Piercings of Barfafafoo Cubism
Non Sequitor thinks Bruce Springsteen is a poet.
I lit the floe and the floe won.
Dumb lions a go-go. Rrrrrr.
Scoop it up! Scoop all that ice cream up!
Non Sequitor likes to go out wearing a derby hat and a cheap suit and tie, and walk around making spastic motions with his arms and saying the word "boogers" over and over, with his mouth closed and his tongue sticking out.
My head hurts and I need a coffee infusion.
That's WAAAAAYYYYY Yugo Mindy meal.
Oh.
La la la.
You say, "A sturgeon."
F*cking Philippine Internet connectivity.
Somewhat doughnut amigo dew
Fly like a beagle
To the sea
Fly like a beagle
Let my doghouse carry me
Blue Man Group fell into a vat of red dye number six.
Now they are known as "the Purple Nurples!"
"Ay, que RRRRRRRRIIICO!!!!"
chimchangachalupacabras con ass
Oh, crud, I forgot to have dinner - and now it's bedtime.
I hate meetings. and summer heat. and annoying clients who think we have nothing better to do than accommodate their sudden meeting changes and requests.
What's that out the window?
The rock 'n roll circus is in town...
Non Sequitor's favorite karaoke song is that excruciating theme song from the O.C. "Califooooorniaaaaaaaaa..."
Turd it from a trend, too
Tuuuurd it from a trend, tooooo
Turd it all together
There's a mess all around
Where did the evening go?
This is my poop song
Don't have to scoop song
Won't join a troop song
And I don't really care, I don't really care if you see
That I've still got
A lot of poop left in me
This is my caca
Came from a vaca
It stained my shmatte...
No, no, it's too soon to do another parody of the same song. Sorry.
Made in a facility that processes tree nuts, but does not process any peanuts, gluten, dairy or soy.
Oil separation occurs naturally, stir before serving.
Refrigeration not necessary.
Produced by
DAVID H. DEPATIE and FRIZ FRELENG
Turner & Hooch Go To Monte Carlo
Emereald and Jade and Fern and Moss
Non Sequitur takes wooden nickels out to the ball game.
Security lets them in, because it appreciates a good laugh now and again.
Turn around, bright eyes...
Non-Sequitor likes to put on a long-haired wig and a fake beard and sing the Doors' "Roadhouse Blues". Well, sort of. He really just repeats the "bunga-bunga-bungalows" part over and over.
Teasals gripped my dress.
Non Sequitur submits architectural designs to the Urban Dictionary, and doesn't understand why the mods never post them.
Terms: Net 30 Days. A service charge of 1 1/2% per month will be charged to all past due accounts.
Boldly kissing sibilant sarsparilla
Labradors and dachshunds and shih tzus and huskies
Bowling brick chicken lickin' stickin' thicken
with a side dish of borscht
Resolutions are made to be broken
then you go down about three more doors and turn left at the Post Office
Perimeter of a rectangle: l + w + l + w
l: length
w: width
Raindrops are falling on my head.
but the wind-chill factor makes it seem lower
Lack of sleep is terrible
Non Sequitor legally changed his last name to "Of Montreal," hoping this would be enough to make him bilingual.
No, do it as I'm *about* to say, having moved these goalposts.
Three times three equals nine
So I poured it down, so I poured it down...
Sprinkle some cinnamon all over
I can't caca like a cockatoo.
I would like to bring sexy back but I am too tired to hit the gym
The smell burns away your nose hair.
Non Sequitor has an unhealthy fetish for marinara sauce.
or perhaps you'd like to see something in a nice dotted Swiss combat boot?
until February 32nd, when it inexplicably rained fried gizzards and rhubarb compote
Manna seeker, manna seeker...HO! HEY! COCAINE!
Where is all the alcohol?
Heat index through the roof
Non Sequitor thinks "Fig Jam" is slang for-- oh, never mind. Better to not even go there.
Green goes with anything.
I can't cope without Scope.
Phone died
Glub glub glub
Blub blub blub
I'm a graaaand haaaamburgerrr
but the hole you drilled is too big and we've lost the Molly behind the wall
"Ooh, Mister Sheffield!!"
Non Sequitor thinks "Kokomo" is the Beach Boys' best song. His favorite party trick is to sing Carl Wilson's falsetto part in the chorus at random intervals.
Price does not include title, tax, and destination charges.
Music by
MIKE POST
and
PETE CARPENTER
and while pine nuts are considered authentic, you can save a bit of money by substituting walnuts instead.
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.
Nine impossible things before breakfast
always trim in a straight line, being careful to avoid the quick
Why isn't the coffee waking me up?
Simon says, "SOCKET WRENCH!"
He already has a boyfriend, but he keeps wanting to see me....
Gimme' the Bop Boogie Woogie
Ah-eelee-a-ooh-wah
Gimme' the Bop Boogie Woogie
Ah-eelee-a-ooh-wah
It's the latest jive alive
And the hipsters call it Bebop
He drinks the whiskey drink, he drinks the vodka drink, he drinks the lager drink, he drinks the cider drink, he pukes, lather, rinse, repeat.
but that was before the car broke down
Non Sequitor often goes out dressed like William Bligh, waving around a leg of lamb and yelling, "It's mutton-y. Mutton-y."
It runs on three settings, and only needs recharging once every 10 days.
Cashews are marked down to $2.80/lb this week!
UNESCO World Heritage sites. So many of them.
Turtle turds? How absurd!
I still have one beer left...
I want more, more, more
Of that Dr. Pooper flavor I've been looking for
On this strange and mournful day
When Non Sequitur closes a door, he truite almondine foofarah West 47th on top of a crater on Pacific XQZ.
"Cajunize" your tots for only 75 cents more
"We must capture the ThunderCats, yes-s-s-s-s?"
Non Sequitur has declared that Puka shells will be next year's Kale/Chia Seed/Turmeric/Blueberry in high-fashion food circles.
My email won't sync. sob.
Huh, uh, puh, suh-juh, hust uh wuh muh uh fuh tong.
Slept on the couch again crap
Non Sequitor's credit card number begins with an actual digit from his right hand.
Why is there an empty bottle of beer on my desk?
Arsenic, grass, and pistachio ice cream.
When the night disappears...
Carrots, peanut butter, and guilt
Yard rider raw roaring, Munchie-Ham.
Dow Cow, mint yabbo
Dow Cow, mea culpa
See and wide probiotics
Anthro twee yolk
An out of control trolley is heading down a hill. You see on the tracks ahead 5 people tied to them. You are standing next to a switch that will divert the trolley onto another track, but you see that one person is tied to those tracks. Why did the chicken cross the road?
I have something in my teeth
The hills are alive with the sound of music...
Wine and beer are good, but not always together
The meaning of male names ending in"el" and the female counterparts always involve God. That is because the original name for God in Jewish lore was Elohim or El for short.
I want to be where the people are...
Smells and odors and scents
Five cute little fluffy dogs
The hills are alive.. run man... run for your life!
If Baba Yaga had entered the building industry, moving house would be somewhat different.
Europe has many lovely old houses.
To steal from a Legend... "Pear Pimples for Hairy Chestnuts!"
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
I can’t really talk about the rain in Spain. I didn’t experience much of it
Beckyburgers are off the menu!
I mixed up French and Spanish again
Noah Ace ale "Doot Doot." Ace ale dose, dose.
Finally, some rain to chase the summer heat away
Quantum Offal Orpheus Novocain Now Sow True BLAMMO Moose
Pitter-Patter Pot Smoke
Yak soufflé tomorrow night
Titans/Legion Universe Ablaze sucks and is the single worst Reboot Legion story I have ever read.
Give the Threeboot a salute -- your foot in a boot!
There’s a street party outside my window and it’s terribly noisy
Non Sequitor thinks Bruce Springsteen is the working man's poet, even though Bruce hasn't actually worked a day job his entire life (that last part is true, BTW.)
The train I was on stopped very suddenly. I was afraid I would be stranded
Someone invited me to smoke weed, and I don't know what to do.
The cat's in the cradle, the rat's in the cellar, the dog's on the water bed, and the elephant forgot where he is.
I love free mueum day in Paris
- Tremendous Flatulence
- Horrendous Flatulence
- Noxious Flatulence
- Obvious Flatulence
Non Sequitor thinks he's being hip by karaoke-ing Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah."
I saw a giant rat on the street
Round and round
Our love'll find a way
Just give it time
Round and round
What comes around
Goes around
I'll tell you why!
Many gay white boys like assertive Asian boys who know how to be on top
The band Blur would have been more accurate if they'd called themselves "Turd."
I do like "Coffee & TV," though.
But that's 'cause Graham sings lead on it, not that insufferable wanker Damon.
I'm having whisky cream and coffee.
Oily balls of dough for New Year's Eve.
"Yes, he's got the LAST of the Do-Dos!"
I'm full. I want to be drunk.
Fool if you think you're sober
Since you drank all night
Fool if you think you're sober
Smell the wine
I broke my new year’s resolution immediately
Director: HAWLEY PRATT
Story: JOHN W. DUNN
Music Score: WALTER GREENE
Animation: DON WILLIAMS
MANNY GOULD
BOB MATZ
MANNY PEREZ
WARREN BATCHELDER
CHUCK DOWNS
Layout: CORNY COLE
Backgrounds: TOM O'LOUGHLIN
Film Editor: LEE GUNTHER
Coordinator: HARRY LOVE
Production Supervisor: BASIL COX
Produced by
DAVID H. DE PATIE and FRIZ FRELENG
Seeeeee...moose show major seen tea.
Icon ace teeter Eli...
Low cyan toe pair.
Oh!
Tango!
Oona, Tara, Billie!
Half acre.
It's King's Night in the Netherlands!!!
Plink, plunk, potatoes in a car trunk!
"His cheeks, like two fat slices of beef liver!"
I had soooo much fuuuuuun last nighttttttttttttttttt
Russ Ballard for Prime Minister!
I went back to the gym today! And I feel fine.
Neil Diamond's unctuous style of singing annoyed the hell out of me.
My tummy hurts. My friend's tummy hurts too. But we didn't eat anything together...
Day, bay, Sayer owl.
Go.
Kay, eh!
Cow middle.
a lot of hot guys are jerks.
Eeek! a flying cockroach!
Otto likes to get blotto, so he ought notta drive an auto.
"What would you do for a Klondike Bar?"
"Don't hate me because I'm beautiful."
Watanabe crack-up?
Foo!
Gaucho handles gas!
Batter's fulla butter and tastes so very nice.
The winds are mine to command!
No, not THOSE winds...
And now to the center of the stage steps our fractured baritone.
I don't think this is real ferret.
Non Sequitor has a Japanese toilet that plays songs like "Doot Doot," "Slip Sliding Away," "Master Blaster (Jammin')", "Ride Like the Wind"...
OK who put raw venison in the coffee grinder again?
Non Sequitor saw the "Classic 39" episode of "The Honeymooners" where Ralph and Norton think they've discovered a new delicacy, but it turns out to be dog food. Then Non Sequitor, missing the point of the show, actually ATE dog food and got scurvy! That'll teach him!
You said "bowling ball" earlier. What did THAT mean?!
Did someone just dip a finger in my tea?
Bloodstones
Moonstones
and...
Blood On The Moon?
The Moon is a revolving restaurant in one of the towers of Amsterdam.
Just the rayon for me, please. I can't have gluten.
"Oh, I'd say a googol to one."
It must be the pink Lungwort.
A long, long time ago...a certain Don McLean song started, and still hasn't ended.
My friend is late, late, late for a very important date, date, date.
Remember what the dormouse said: "Feed your head."
Mice, cats, dogs, tigers, elephants.
"Can't explain, can't explain when it's time to poo..."
Well, your dispositions are good...
Non Sequitor still hasn't deciphered the innuendos in that 70s song about "afternoon delight."
Nor, for that matter, that other 70s song about "loving you is easy 'cause you're beautiful...OOOOOOOOOOOH!"
The Mumbling Fire Hydrant and The Excitable Used Q-Tip
"I haven't seen that many sets of badly capped teeth since the last Rock and Roll Hall of Fame ceremony."
A tisket, a tasket, a green and yellow basket.
"Own peek-peek now," say Kay.
"Wan waffur theen meant."
My body hurts from the gym. Yay!
"Here...is...The Painkiller...THIIIS...IIIIIIIIS...The Painkiller...YYYYYAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE..."
\ /
"
I like pretty rooftops. I have one in my apartment building!
DESPIERTA YA
Ya vamos, hazlo ya,
Es hora de empezar!
I had some good Chinese food today.
The Breaking Bad guy once did a hemorrhoid cream commercial:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdK8E8m56tA
My friend's butt still hurts....
Sometimes the pain is welcome.
Welcome to the Pleasuredome!
Relax...
It can be nice to give up control once in a while.
Nice, nice, very nice
So many people in the same device
Quite a contraption that is.
Frank Quitely's real name is Vincent Deighan.
A Quitely by any other name would be a great artist.
You know what we needed in the Ring/Ringu movies that we never got?
The gruesome death of a Ringo Starr look-alike!
Bottoms indeed do go up
UP, Meal-oh. UP, Crappy. Time for another day of shoveling excrement!
Meal and excrement in the same sentence. *shudder*
The connection is only there for those who want to see it.
Pong is both the name of the very first video game, and a British slang term for foul odors.
Pong Pagong (Turtle) is a children's show character from the Philippines.
"Sigh. I could eat a 20-inch pizza without batting a lip."
Baking in the heatwave. Woo!
hot, single, local-area Daleks want to meet YOU!
The Teardrop Explodes had a long, convoluted, intertwined history with Dalek I Love You.
Why does beer make me pee so much?
"Ik ben moe" means " I am tired" in Dutch. and "moe" is pronounced "moo", which makes me giggle.
I miss Old Dutch The Super Cow.
There is a statue of a cow in my apartment building’s basement
Nella casa vicino al cimitero, c'e un dottore pazzo nel seminterrato.
Nectarines and mandarins, oh my!
Not so much melodrama as mellow drama.
"Oh shut up, you melodramatic oaf!" - Chameleon disguised as Gates to the Reboot Mantis Morlo.
More "Lo, there shall be _____" threads, please.
Let there be light! *said when I turned on the light in my bathroom
Non-Sequitor's outhouse was torn down by a windstorm.
Now he's really up s__t creek!
Chinese food, Chinese food, and more Chinese food...
And yet by the end, I'm still hungry!
"There's nothing like dining at home...or is that ON HOME?"
"Instance of poopy pants, gutter-rat slime..."
Global warming is truly global.
O globo esta cheio de tolos.
Ooooooaaaatmeeeeaaaaal...
Living on a prayer... ouch my neck hurts
JBJ's talent is disproportionate to his good looks. VERY disproportionate.
There's a greenhouse effect in my apartment!
Olive is a shade of green. Some olive makeups are not very accurate at capturing that shade.
We're having pizza tonight!
Non Sequitor likes to walk into Italian restaurants, growl "OREGANO" in a basso-profundo voice, and then run out.
He's all about that bass, with his beautiful, manly bass voice
"Your bowels are moving, your, your bowels are moving
Making ca-ca-ca-ca
Ca-ca-ca-ca-ca
Ca-ca"
My friends and I are playing board games by Skype tomorrow!
I wonder:
Has Meghan Trainor been toilet-trained, or does somebody still have to train 'er?
I don't know what's worse, being bored at work or being stressed at work.
Or maybe both.
Work is a four-letter word.
Not an opinion. An observation.
Head for the hills!
Even if you have to roll the head uphill by hand!
Rolling, rolling, rolling on the river...
Plenty of "doots" in that river.
Rice! Rice for lunch! and for dinner too!
Snap Crackle Pop Splat Crappin' Poop
The hills are alive, with the smells of something...
The hills have eyes...
Eeek! Creepy horror movie!
Sally Brown: "I'm practicing my "EEKS", so that whenever I write a story where a princess sees a rat running across the floor, and she cries "EEEEEEEEEK," I'll be ready."
I always wanted to be in the movies!
"What, and give up show business?"
There's no business like it!
"Hollywood infecting your brain
You wanted kisses in the rain
Living on the movies
Puking up the American Dream
I'm obsessed with the mess that's America..."
Around the Toilet Bowl in 80 Days
There was a sheet of plastic in my chocolate!
"Next time you open a bottle, make sure it's Blupsie-Cola."
I need way more coffee...
"Show me a barrel and watch me scrape it"
What is that under my shoe?
$uper $am
Catchphrase: "TIME IS MONEY"
Wherefore, Tabasco Suburbia?
Five cute fluffy little dogs
Non Sequitor's falsetto singing is even worse than the guy from OneRepublic.
This is post number 1998.
I have special plans for post number 2000.
yay! let's see them, throwing out 1999 for ya
My hair is messy. I'm scruffy.
He fell down and went BOOM
Banned for playing that Rush album one time too many.
Duck gumbo and a side of word salad
So I begin not to looooove you
Turn around, see me running
Non Sequitor and Florida Man have never been seen in the same place together.
Really makes ya' think...
The cold never bothered me anyway
Trampoline! >boing<?>ow!<
The cold never bothered me anyway
Surely the starting post for the All Epitaph thread.
If you find it pays to milk it...MOOOOO *KICK* OUCH!
Red wine on a Friday evening
Toast for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
Me train running low on soul coal...
Vieta's formulas are frequently used with polynomials with coefficients in any integral domain R.
Polly Ester is Calamity King's clothes-loving cousin. If DC ever actually uses her, I'll sue because I created her.
Empanadas for dinner!!!!!
Vieta's formulas are frequently used with polynomials with coefficients in any integral domain R.
My daughter might know what you are talking about. She is a Maths Honours grad.
stile86, that's very cool!
(I've never really been strong on math. But once in awhile I'll start reading a page about it on Wiki, just because the equations themselves look so nice to me. I mean, simply as pictures, I like how they look.)
My eggs were tasty, my oatmeal wasn't
stile86, that's very cool!
(I've never really been strong on math. But once in awhile I'll start reading a page about it on Wiki, just because the equations themselves look so nice to me. I mean, simply as pictures, I like how they look.)
I've never really thought about how they look but you're right. Some of them do have a beauty all their own. Of the few I can follow their logic often has an attractiveness to it as well, going from a simple concept through a complex path to a simple conclusion, very circular, but as soon as you said it I could see how the visual patterns shine as well.
I've never really thought about how they look but you're right. Some of them do have a beauty all their own. Of the few I can follow their logic often has an attractiveness to it as well, going from a simple concept through a complex path to a simple conclusion, very circular, but as soon as you said it I could see how the visual patterns shine as well.
I think what started me down that road was learning that one of my favorite painters, Thomas Eakins (1844-1916), would relax by doing logarithmic tables, and eventually he began using them to develop some of his compositions, too.
I love Moscato white wine! Sweet and fruity kick at the end.
"Mercury is an extremely rare element in Earth's crust, having an average crustal abundance by mass of only 0.08 parts per million (ppm)."
Berries, berries in my oatmeal
Language lessons on Sunday!
Magnesium Sulfate
Up Next:
Potassium Nitrate
A day trip to Lut Gholein
Unden Glieden Glaten Gluben
Leftie: Loose-y
Rightie: Tight-y
Baba Yaga Babes from Bangladesh
The hammer missed the nail but hit the screw.
Quick! Jam a prune danish into the outlet!!
is gold!
Isley Brothers vs. Smith Brothers
Who will survive?
and a side of toggle bolts, light on the pate de fois gras
Discord, deliirum, discourse
Non Sequitur thought that "Take The Pepsi? Challenge" meant filling a bathtub with Pepsi? and getting in.
These mandarins give a lot of fiber.
Non Sequitur tried to fill in those potholes with crumbled styrofoam and plastic bread ties.
Rubbermaid can
Rubbermaid can
Rubbermaid can
Get dumped now, ya'll!
Non Sequitur's food cart had a theme of plagiarizing recipes from all the neighboring carts in the pod.
Small wonder that one day he showed up for the lunch rush and found it had "accidentally fallen over" into that giant fountain just outside the U.S. Bank tower.
My man ate all the crackers!
I searched my mind for the answers, but all I unearthed were 1970s radio jingles for local banks, and about half the lyrics to "Run, Joey Run!"
Construction outside my house!
Every piece of A4 paper I see now gives me a new view of the universe.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pUF5esTscZI
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