PEOPLE OF LEGION WORLD.

I COME IN PEACE.

I AM GRL.

I HAVE BEEN AWAKENED

TO MY TRUE PURPOSE.

YOU HAVE NOTHING TO FEAR, MESSAGE BOARD POSTERS.

I AM HERE TO SAVE YOU.

My dear Ms. Lesbian,

I am rarely fearful. Now does this "saving" me involve joining a brain-washing cult?

THERE HAS BEEN

A CRISIS

ON THIS MESSAGE BOARD.

I WILL END

THIS CRISIS.

NO MORE

FLAME WARS.

NO MORE

PERSONAL ATTACKS.

YOU NEED NOT FEAR,

LITTLE QUISLET.

WHAT IS IT

THAT YOU

MOST DESIRE?

My dear Ms. Lesbian,

I guess I didn't make myself clear. I currently have no fears. And I already have no need to fear. Therefore, your statement that I need not fear is a bit superfulous.

As for what I most desire, I am very content right now and there is nothing I really desire right now.

I KNOW

YOUR TRUE DESIRE,

EVEN IF YOU DO NOT

KNOW IT YOURSELF.


THERE.


YOU WILL SOON

DISCOVER

WHAT HAS COME TO PASS.

*squeal* A boxed lunch social!!!!!!!!!

GRL,

I was horribly disfigured when the Banned-'Em Zone projector exploded.

That's why I'm wearing this mask -- I must never let anyone see my face.

Can you do something about that?

Dear GRL,

Will you be my BFF?

SL

GRL,

Can we get more HLA on LWMB?

LL

GRL, can I pinch your behind?

I HAVE

MADE YOU

BETTER.

A GODDESS

HAS NO NEED FOR

A BFF.


HOWEVER,

I HAVE

MADE YOU PRESIDENT OF

MY FAN CLUB.

YES.


LITTLE LARD,

YOU ARE NOW

A HL.


AND YOU HAVE MY BLESSING

TO ENGAGE IN

HLA ON THE LWMB.

LITTLE ONE,

YOU ARE TOO SMALL

TO REACH MY BEHIND.


I HAVE MADE YOU

BIGGER.


BUT IF YOU

PINCH MY BEHIND,

I WILL SMASH YOU.

My dear Ms. Lesbian,

Have you been reading Justice Society of America?

LITTLE QUISLET,

YOU ARE SO

WITTY.


THE BIRDS SAY YOU ARE LOVED BY MANY.

THERE IS A TERRIBLE

PERVERSITY

ON LEGION WORLD.


ITS NAME IS

POVERTY LAD.


I WILL MAKE HIM INTO A MORE SUITABLE FORM OF LIFE.


HE IS NOW SOMETHING BETTER.


POVERTREE.


(AND TREES DO NOT WEAR

PANTS.)

Better to be a tree than to be reborn as MaGRL.

The apples growing on Povertree are still rotten.

Think about it...

Pantsless in a field, everything waving in the breeze... :ahhh:

HEY GRL! PLUCK MY TASTY FRUIT, YOU SAUCY LESBIAN ROBOT!

Why is the sap on this tree so creamy looking?

Are you going to try it?

I'm not going to try it.

Let's get Lardy!

Yeah, he'll try anything!

Yeah! Great idea!

Its like maple but more salty than sweet I'd wager (since I'm not trying it either)!

Laaaaaaaardy!

Oh, dear... how do I get sucked into these things?

AND WATCH WHERE YOU'RE PUTTING THAT TAP!

Hmmm....hole in Povertree.........

That's no big, GRL--I've always been a hot lesbian! I wanna see two (or more ) hot chicks havin' the HLA, comprende?

GRL,

As president of your fan club, I need to know if you're willing to do any meet & greets ...

SL

[STU removes his mask, then slowly walks over to a mirror. What he sees leaves him stunned.]

Oh my goddess!

I can't believe it! I-- I'm incredibly handsome!

For the first time in a long time, I feel nice. All thanks to GRL.

What's that, er, milk mustache you have there, Cobie?

And why are those squirrels playing around with those two low-hanging walnuts on that weird-looking tree? Or are they shriveled plums?

I hate to break it to you, Lardy, but most HLs don't have a full beard and hobbit-feet.

Fortunately, you now look like Phoebe Cates climbing out of a pool, dripping wet, in a skimpy, red two-piece swimsuit that you're slowly removing.

Huh?

<looks in mirror>

Ooooohhh!



<excuses hi--herself yo explore what's underneath bathing suit...>

(must contain self...must...)

<pinch>

Er, don't look at me, Lardy. The tree is quite perverse, as you know, and I wouldn't put it past it.

Jillikers, I've only increased like 6 inches in height! But...<looks in pants>...apparently 6 inches elsewhere too! That might end up being *too* big! Hm...I guess I could try it out...

I doubt anyone would consider your new total of 6.5 inches to be *too* big!

Ms. Lesbian, I'm always willing to learn what I can from the other life forms--organic or mechanical--that I encounter. It seems to me there is much you want to teach us. What do you want us to know?

Rockhopper Lad,

Have you been spreading rumors about me again?

Gosh, Quis, I thought it was no secret, that you were, except for Lash--and Cali--and CJ--and Saturn Girl--and Fat Cramer--and me--the most beloved of all Legion Worlders.

Perhaps, I will be the undisputed most beloved now that I'm a hot lesbian?

My Dear Ms. Lesbian,

I understand that you changed Lard Lad into Lard Lass and from a heterosexual into a homosexual. Don't you think that is overdoing it? I think you should either make him a heterosexual female or a homosexual male.

LITTLE SHARK,

I AM ALWAYS DELIGHTED

TO MEET THE PEOPLE OF LEGION WORLD.


PLACE AN ANNOUNCEMENT IN THE OFFICIAL GRL NEWSLETTER THAT

AUTOGRAPHS

ARE FIRST COME, FIRST SERVED.


ALSO, ANYONE WHO CUTS IN LINE

WILL BE TURNED INTO A

BUSH.


IT WOULD BE JUST.

LITTLE ROCKHOPPER,

THANK YOU FOR ASKING.


WHAT I WANT YOU TO KNOW IS

THIS:

EVEN OMNIPOTENT LESBIAN ROBOT GODDESSES

CAN HAVE A BROKEN HEART.


ESPECIALLY WHEN THEIR BOSOM FRIEND

FROM GOTHAM WOMEN'S COLLEGE

*COUGH* GIGANTA *COUGH*

DECIDES SHE IS NO LONGER A

SISTER OF SAPPHO.

(SHE IS WHAT WE CALL A

HAS-BIAN.)


ALSO, IRONA

(RICHIE RICH'S ROBOT MAID)

MAY BE SMALL,

BUT IN BED SHE IS QUITE

ASSERTIVE.


SPEAKING OF ROBOT MAIDS,

THE BEING YOU KNOW AS

ROSIE O'DONNELL

WAS REVERSE-ENGINEERED

FROM ROSIE,

THE JETSONS' MAID

(WHO HAS A POWERFUL

VACUUM).

PATIENCE,

LITTLE QUISLET.


ALL SHALL

COME TO PASS IN THE

FULLNESS

OF TIME.

GRL, I can't help but feel that if Lard Lass and Poverty Lad fell in love, given Lard Lad's new state, that they would live a life of happiness and bliss.

Can't you use your giant robotic lesbian powers of cupid and make it so?

Meanwhile, I'll go find a female citizen of Legion World and try out your 'gift'.

<Bubblebutted monkey throws fruit from the PoverTree. And some poo for good measure>

Ms. Lesbian, I'm so sorry to hear about your broken heart. I know that pain and it's not pleasant. {Pats GRL's ankle} Please know that you have friends here who care about you.

Well, it's not often you see a smokin' hot lesbian who was once a lardy man fall in love with a perverted tree -- but I guess if it's going to happen anywhere, it might as well be LW!

GRL,

Now when you say turned into a "bush," do you mean the burning kind or the, well, burning kind?

I'll have the GRL newsletter at the printer by Friday, including that interview with Lindsay Lohan.

SL

Would that be on Freaky Friday?

What?! Lindsay "Parent Trap" Lohan? Really??

Apparently, she's rumored to be dating Samantha Ronson...

They are just "friends".

With benefits?

Aren't we all "friends"?

Joey and Chandler were "friends".

Monica was the beard.

GRL!

I'm having heterosexual female feelings--<span style="font-size: 25px;">SAVE ME!!!!</span>

PLEASE, either make me a full-blown lesbian, or turn me back to the way I was!!!!!

Lard Lass
<flashing boobs in despair>

No, GRL!

I implore you -- don't do it!

Do you really want to waste such a luscious-looking avatar as the one Lard Lass has right now??

GRL,

If you won't make me my old self again, make us BOTH (STU and I) hot lesbians, so that, together, we can put Stanley Steemer out of business!!!

<pleading boob flash>

Stanley or Cleveland?

YES.

LITTLE LARD,

I HEAR YOUR HEARTFELT

PLEA FOR ASSISTANCE.


(AND THANK YOU FOR THAT BOOB FLASH.)


YOU WISH TO EMBRACE

YOUR NEW-FOUND ATTRACTION TOWARD MEN,

YET YOU ALSO TIRE OF YOUR

FEMALE BODY.


I WILL MAKE IT

BETTER.


LITTLE LARD,

YOU ARE NOW A

GAY MAN.

(Great, now when he admires my amazingly handsome features, he'll get mad at me for another reason when he becomes hetero again).

GRL, are Lindsey Lohan and Samantha Robinson friends in the same way Pov and Stu are?

LITTLE STU,

I CAN SEE THAT YOU ARE QUITE

APPRECIATIVE

OF YOUR NEW-FOUND

HOTNESS.


YET, YOU ALSO LAMENT

LEGION WORLD'S LOSS OF SUCH A

LUSCIOUS-LOOKING

FEMALE.


I FEEL YOUR

PAIN.


I WILL MAKE THINGS

BETTER.


LITTLE STU,

YOU ARE NOW A

HOT WOMAN.

LITTLE COBALT,

WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT

LARD LAD'S CHANGE

IS NOT

PERMANENT?

LINDSAY AND SAMANTHA ARE FRIENDS

IN THE SAME WAY

YOU AND

DOLLY THE SHEEP

ARE FRIENDS.

Okay, but which one came with a dowry from Fat Cramer? (re: mint jelly)

THEY BOTH HAVE

JELLY.

GRL,

Er...can I just be a woman again? I'll deal with whatever consequences may come. (and I miss the boobs).

LL

(plus, the site won't let me change back to "Lard Lad")

You have to ask Nightcrawler to reset it. In the meantime, you could use the underscore to be Lard_Lad or you could be LardLad (no space)

Rookie mistake, Lardie... don't mess with your displayed ID and/or Avatar unless you wanna stick with it for awhile... or you just wanna be a major pain in Nighty's @$$.

Actually the Avatars are easy to change. Asking Nightcrawler to add new ones would be a pain.

D'Oh... yeah. That's what I was thinking of.