The Return of the Inane Five Word Posts

Isn't that much much better?

Isn't it better than what?

Inanity runs in my family!

Five words: a beautiful simplicity.

Simple things for simple minds!

New Gold Dream = great album.

Six word fad has passed?

It does appear that way.

Appearances can be deceptive though!

Especially if you're Chameleon Boy

six words just lack panache.

Fatal Five beats Sinister Six

What would Fearsome Four do?

Why are these posts inane?

because they lack sixth word?

Inanity's a state of mind.

and all interstates traverse it.

No crossing statelines ex-Governor Spitzer

First Gov I've ever met...

...and he turns out thus.

Where did you meet him?

NY can have our governor.

We sure don't want him.

For sale: Governor - as is

Big, big, discounts -- Saturday only!

Up to 99.9% marked off!!!!

Comes with free Hillary Clinton!

NY is having bad luck...

...with politicians! But who isn't?

Alberta has done pretty well

But who would live there?

Albertans comes to my mind.

not bad for monoparty rule.

I met Spitzer several times...

...as a reporter. His upstate...

...residence was in my county.

Still on Spitzer? old news

Let's talk Beverly Switzer instead.

who might that be, Stealth?

From Howard the Duck possibly

Yes, Howard the Duck's girlfriend.

Even though the Howard comic...

...was ahead of its time...

...we never saw the full...

...uh...implications of their relationship.

Some things are better imagined!

Moving on! New topic please?

lets talk about Lucky Charms!!!

Because it's Saint Patrick's Day?

My cousin's birthday is just...

...two days before this holiday.

Somebody's birthday was on it.

Kolly Kibber's Birthday = great song.

Another St. Paddy's birthday wish:

Paul Kantner (Jefferson Starship), 67!

Lucky Charms are magically delicious!

but Trix are for kids.

I'm a Count Chocula man!

I eat Cheerios every day.

Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee

Yum. No argument there, Quis.

Somehow this ended up on...

...page two of MMB. Horrifying.

it happens, time to time.

The Time Trapper's nefarious plot?

We'll have to start a...

...conspiracy to attack the Trapper.

Trap him in the crapper!

Then where will we go?

in the woods! au naturel.

Watch where you step then

I'm glad I ate dinner...

...before reading those recent posts.

food is good. it's needed.

Food for thought: cookie dough.

Is it time to eat?

No, because it's after eight.

Or is it "after ate?"

Comedy, thy name is homophone.

Le comique c'est magnifique, no?

mais pas de Jerry Lewis.

Speak English in America! Comprende?

Pero yo no hablo ingles.

Just kidding, I speak English.

I only speak English fluently...

...plus basic French and Spanish.

<----
wishing learning languages were easier.

Comparing foreign movie titles to...

...their English language titles helps.

for me, it's not just...

...vocabulary, but effectively recalling it...

...when I want/need to.

This thread is turning serious.

Time to get inane again.

Meet my imaginary friend: Tubatoothpaste.

had close brush with her?

Yes. She's always minty fresh.

quite a mouth on her.

The shine is often blinding.

you hang with bright people.

Shiny happy people holding hands...

Shine on you crazy diamond...

I wanted to post the...

...chorus from Haysie Fantayzee's song...

...but it has six words.

Quote

Originally posted by Stealth:
...but it has six words.

:rolleyes: (there's a thread for that)

Look out Cobalt! We're Back!

Things are getting less shiny.

Who turned out the lights?

<---- Forgot to pay electric bill.

Watch those nasty late charges!

"Better to light a candle..."

"...than curse the darkness." True.

Yay! The lights are back.

they're on... but nobody's home.

Good description of people who...

...keep "All Star Batman" sales...

...in the Top Ten. Ugh!

Also describes Frank Miller accurately.

Miller's no dullard, but I...

...understand he's not everyone's fave.

The Spirit movie will stink.

The 80s one seemed to.

TV flick; only saw glimpse.

A Spirit TV cartoon would...

...or rather, could, be great.

modernizing Ebony could be tough.

Especially since the current portrayal...

...of blacks in entertainment is...

...arguably more demeaning than before.

methinks we're getting serious again.

Good old five word posts.

Five, five, five word posts...

...love them more than toast...

...even more than pot roast...

...people love five word posts...

...from one to another coast.

most posts host ghost toasts.

No rhyming is necessary here.

Who thinks L3W will rock?

"Not I," said the Stealth.

Well, why not then, Stealth?

I will wait and see.

refuse to get too excited.

DC is master of letdowns.

DC Explosion became DC Implosion

Quote

Originally posted by Arm Fall Off Boy:
Well, why not then, Stealth?

Because Geoff Johns is a...

...very inconsistent writer; L3W could...

...be good, like Green Lantern...

...or bad, like Infinite Crisis...

...so I'm keeping my expectations...

...very, very, very, very low.

I just want ONE Legion.

At least until another reboot.

Not that it would happen...

I mean, the Legion reboot?

Famous last words. Ha, ha.

Kinda like: "Stay here--I'll go see what that noise was."

That's more than five words.

Mistook for "Kill This Thread"!

the true perils of postwhoredom.

What should Lardy's punishment be?

How about listening to disco?

It shouldn't punish us too.

How about a pizza party?

Okay, but no green peppers.

extra pepperoni. no canned mushrooms.

And olive oil and semolina.

Some butterbeer to go with?

Pizza!!!!!!!

Now you're punishing me.

Punishment by pizza pleases plebeians!

Ooops--not the 'Alliterations' thread!

You still used five words

But the words were alliterative!

There's a thread for that!

Alliterative isn't against the rules.

Quis, stop enabling me, dammit!

Stating facts is not enabling.

I was criticized for alliteration...

...on this very thread here.

Let he who doesn't alliterate...

...cast the very first stone.

Or propel the primary pumice!

we get the point already.

Just what point is that?

It's not nice to point.

Quote

Originally posted by Kent Shakespeare:
I was criticized for alliteration...

But you're not Lard Lad

Plus rhyming isn't being alliterative

Quis masters five word irrelevancies!

It's about time you noticed.

I noticed long ago, actually.

Just keeping it to yourself?

just letting you advertise yourself.

It's all about Quis, guys.

And yet no "all-Quis" thread

Or forum for that matter

That thread could unravel quickly.

Especially if only Quis posts.

I therefore shall post on!

I am feeling so unloved

Don't be sad, Quis! Smile!

Cuz you're on Candid Camera!

Get my good side, cameraman!

The side without the arm?

He have a good side?

I'm going to cry now.

Ok, I'm over it now.

Here's some Kleenex for that.

In case you've a relapse!

Kleenex are better than Puffs.

Care to prove that, dude?

Next time I get sick.

Make sure that you have...

...a control for data comparison!

Just don't use my sleeve.

What would Miss Manners say?????

Some clever put-down, I'd bet.

She'd check the Shout Box.

That was a hint, HWW!

Checked and responded to, Lardy.

You're both gentleman and scholar!

Are you saying he's schizophrenic?

Are you confusing schizophrenia with Multiple Personality Disorder?

Wrong thread again Lard Lad

Perhaps I'm scholarly and schizo . . .

. . . or a gentlemen with MPD . . .

. . . but I can sure count!

Will your Countess join us?

No Countess. Countessless, that is.

Quote

Originally posted by Lard Lad:
Are you confusing schizophrenia with Multiple Personality Disorder?

Why didn't Quis edit this?!?!?

He's trying to restrain himself?

Let's help by straitjacketing him!

Nah. He might sue us.

How much would he get?

From me? My Legion collection.

Perhaps just the Conway issues.

You think he'd stop there?

Aren't those in high demand?

Judging by board reaction, no.

Is this an accurate sampling?

Among Legion fans? Why not?

For the sake of argument?

Surely HWW would never argue!

Wouldn't he for wickedness' sake?

Quote

Originally posted by Lard Lad:

Quote

Originally posted by Lard Lad:
[b]Are you confusing schizophrenia with Multiple Personality Disorder?

Why didn't Quis edit this?!?!? [/b]

Do your own dirty work.

It's a dirty job, alright.

But someone's gotta do it?

I see you haven't yet.

Quote

Originally posted by Arm Fall Off Boy:
Surely HWW would never argue!

I don't argue. I correct.

Quote

Originally posted by Lard Lad:
Wouldn't he for wickedness' sake?

I might for goodness's sake.

Quote

Originally posted by Quislet, Esq.:
I see you haven't yet.

I'm not one for cover-ups!

Not a cover-up, a correction!

Quote

Originally posted by He Who Wanders:

Quote

Originally posted by Arm Fall Off Boy:
[b]Surely HWW would never argue!

I don't argue. I correct.

[/b]

I stand corrected, my friend.

Actually, I am sitting. Sorry.

Fonzy says: "Sit on it!"

Have we "jumped the shark"?

Nah, we kicked its ass!

Do sharks have an ass?

Yeah! And we kicked it!

But it might kick back.

Kickbacks are illegal like payola

Tell that to a shark.

Does a shark really care?

Literal sharks or metaphorical sharks?

I'm not going to ask.

Which one scares you, HWW?

Is he scared or prudent?

I was responding to Quis.

Why were you ignoring me?

Did Lard Lad say something?

You posted too quickly, Lardy.

Too quick a draw 4ya?

'Fraid so, Lardy, 'fraid so.

Might wanna avoid high-noon showdowns!

Where I am it's 4:30!

Perhaps you've a shot, then!

Perhaps I'll charm the opposition!

By charm, you mean disarm?

Wait now; disarm or disrobe?

What, it's gotta be either/or?

Disrobing? Depends on the opposition.

I'm not opposed to that

Aren't you supposed to oppose?

Flaunt if you've got it!

AIAIAIAIAIA!!!!! The light! I'm blinded!

Caliente is back! Hurrah! Huzzah!

Didn't I die for her?

When did you die, Lardy?

It's a long, loooong story.

Too long for five words?

Much too long for five--

You could just link it.

would that be as dramatic?

Are you wanting a Tony?

Need a Tony? I'm one!

Don't you count as two?

Am I secretly Duo Dude?

you've just blown your identity.

Lardy is Tony the Tiger?

Yes...Lard Lad, he's GRRRREEEEAAAAATTTTT!

I thought he was Tony.

<==Too cool for one name!

Too cool? Here's a sweater.

<==Too hot for a sweater!

Too hot? Too cool? Decide!

Maybe Lardy is getting menopausal.

Nope, I'm a dude, Kent.

And dude's don't do menopause!

Have you checked yourself lately?

someone spiked your beer. Profem.

Now who would do that?

Dunno, another alt of Abin's?

another case has been solved.

Lard Lad is Sherlock Holmes.

Or is that John Holmes?

with the profem, Katie Holmes.

Then he'd be Tom's wife?

then he'd afford San Diego.

To come or to buy?

Quote

Originally posted by He Who Wanders:
To come or to buy?

Not touching THAT one, Huey!

It's Hugh and Sue Pugh!

I don't get the reference.

She's on a rhyming roll.

Better than an onion roll

Roll on, eighteen-wheeler! Roll on!

Roll-on Deodorant? No thank you

You prefer a spray, Quis?

A stick is my preference

A stick is quite fetching.

I won't touch THAT one!!

it might go off accidentally.

Or even not by accident!

It was just a pun!

'Stick?' 'Fetching'? Dog fetches stick?

Still not touching it, Louie.

Don't know where Dog's been.

Dyslexic agnostic ponders Dog, too.

and Gdo is Dog sideways.

bakers: waiting for good dough.

Good puns. Start new thread.

do not order me around!

unless substantial cash is involved.

And I don't mean June.

How about Reese Witherspoon instead?

How about Reese's Pieces instead?

Reese Witherspoon's an acceptable incentive.

She has at least two.

I value her mind only

In Canadian or US Dollars?

Euros all the way baby!!!!

all the way to where?

To the bank. Where else?

Since you're offering...
to me.

rhetorical question - not an offer

suuure. get my hopes up.

nothing from nothing leaves nothing

something from something is better.

Don't you recognize the song?

yes. it didn't inspire me.

Does inspire any song you?

pick something from Rent, perhaps.

"Let's Lynch the Landlord" -- KIDDING!!

That one's not on soundtracks.

Talking like Yoda was Lardy.

Was Lad Lard acting dyslexic?

Just don't speak in anagrams.

Who spoke? we're all typing.

We can speak with fingers!!!!

Did that in traffic yesterday!

you gave someone lost directions?

what a thoughtful, helpful man!

Why thank you. I am.

I gave a universal greeting!

"Hi! How ya doin'? Welcome!"

Quote

Originally posted by Lard Lad:
I gave a universal greeting!

Different countries use different gestures

He might have been saying . . .

. . . "Vote straight Republican" in Swedish.

The fleem is okey dokey!

What the flip is fleem?

Quote was from Swedish Chef!

Yumpin' Yiminy! Fleen is food?

End of the Muppet Movie.

Fleen: served with frog legs?

It's how he said 'film'!

Film with frog legs? Yuck!

Muppet version: "That's all folks!"

That was my impression anyway.

Do you do other impressions?

Wanna see his Ron Jeremy?

Bend over backwards, not forwards.

I didn't need that visual.

So you are no voyeur?

Y'all are strange, sick people!

But you love us anyway.

To honor Legion World's fifth...

I'm wearing my birthday suit!

Be afraid. Be very afraid...

Quote

Originally posted by Kent Shakespeare:
I didn't need that visual.

What, me or Ron Jeremy?

You weren't complaining in Niagara...

I don't want to know.

...trying to erase mental images....

You'll definitely need biiiiiig eraser...

I didn't see a thing.

I was blinded by pain.

hobbling on crutches, you'd recall.

Excuses, excuses! Be a man!

Yeah! Suck it up, Kent!

Let's not get personal now.

Should we get impersonal instead?

Do you mean like this?

Aren't you looking handsome today!

As opposed to other days?

Yep, today's particularly good ferya!

I am done impersonating today.

Catchya on da flip side!

Yo yo yo yo YO!

What? No fist bumping Pov?

"Fist-Bumping Pov"? New Action figure?

No "terrorist fist-bump" for me.

Leave that to the Obamas.

A new show for today!

Natural sequel to "Li'l Bush."

This episode: George invades Canada.

Why? Did Japan attack us?

Japan is now our friend.

Facebook friends to be precise

Maybe George should invade Facebook.

Bucky and Toro are Invaders

At least their war ended.

It lasted longer in comics

They still invade each other...

Toro, I can't quit you!

Ang Lee presents Brokeback Comix!

What did Bucky say when

invading Japan? "Toro! Toro! Toro!"

Toro began making lawn mowers

Had to find a job, eh?

Couldn't stay a child star.

He burned out long before...

his candle ever did! Sigh!

What would Bucky do now

if he weren't now Cap?

University of Wisconsin\'s official mascot?

More glamorous than lawn mowers.

But so much less profitable

I dunno. Babes. Endorsements. Fans.

It's a rich man's world

Baby, you're a rich man.

He's a real nowhere man

He got joo joo eyeballs

Isn't that a bit anti-semetic?

Joo joo eyeballs or pinkeye?

Joo joo means walrus eyes;

y'know: goo goo ga joob!

Hi, Walrus! I'm the Eggman!

Drop Lardy, make an omelette!

Flashback to the Chicken Lady

What Chicken Lady was that?

Watch "Kids in the Hall"

Or you could Google them

why bother researching your in-jokes?

Cultural reference, not an in-joke.

riiiight. of course it is.

Vaguely remember Kids' Chicken Lady.

Recall Cabbage Head more clearly.

But he never made omelets.

All you can eat brunches!

Koalas prefer to eat branches.

Just the leaves - just Eucalyptus

coughdrops, good. Leaves, not so...

No knock 'til try! Si?

Non, non, sil vous plait!

It's all Greek to me.

Let's start an LMB fraternity!!!

How shall we initiate plebes?

Sure we'll think of somethin'....

Eureka! Nekkid Lard Lad tats!!!

I may now be straight!

Just kidding! That won't happen!

The tat or being straight?

Hazarding a guess....probably neither.

You would be correct, sir.

Should one call Lardy "Sir"?

Better than calling him "Ma'am"

Excepting "Ladies Night", I hear.

Only at a transvestite bar

Yes, that's what I meant.

Yeah! Yeah! That's the ticket!

He's got the mammories, apparently.

Want to have a look?

(o)_(o)

This is the correct way

( o )Y( o )

Think you are Power Girl?

She definitely has the power.

The power to defy gravity...

...if ya knowwhut I mean?

What are you talking about?

Power Girl's GIGANTIC BREASTS, Quis!

They distract from her "package".

She's got a package package?!?!

You have never notice it?

How could you not notice?

She practices "tuck and hide"

I'M practicing "Duck and run"!

She does have manly hips...

Don't forget her Adam's Apple

Lard Lad is Power Girl?

<[expletive]--they're on to me!

>

You've given yourself away now.

Giving it away? For shame!

They buy a nice dinner?

Salmon croquettes or beef brisket?

Definitely meat rather than fish.

What sides would you like?

Can we skip to dessert?

Pie, cake, cookies, or tiramisu?

Not what I'd in mind! :rolleyes:

Special orders result in surcharges.

I'd buy THAT furra dollar!

Dunno whachu talkin' 'bout Willis

Youse guys betta respect me!

have you given us reason?

He's never cheated on Cobie.

Not to my recollection anyway.

'Fonly Cobie were that faithful...

Faithful, thy name is Cobie!

Cobie is Dr. Faithful....perhaps!

Least since Crujectra got'im whupped!!

It's all just an act.

all part of STU's plan.

I don't believe in STU

I don't belieeeeeve in Beatles!

All you need is Lard.

All you need is cash.

All you need is Lardporn!

Lardporn: Illegal in five states.

Lardporn: a state of mind!

Illegal in that state, too!

Beware of the Thought Police!

Lardporn trumps the Thought Police!

Well how thoughtlesss of him.

Why is it thoughtless, Quiz?

Thought Police confiscated all thoughts.

Thought Police can do that???

RWL: Ruminating Without a License.

Ruminating can also mean masticating...

But don't confusing masticating with...

Don't confuse it with what?

Don't confuse 'masticating' with......matchmaking!

Don't confuse it with what...

Judge Reinhold was doing in...

"Fast Times at Ridgemont High"

Was he judging matchmaking competitions?

Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a ...

A one handed judging, Lardy.

And the other hand was????

Maybe Mano did the judging.

He beat off the competition!

Meanwhile, back at the farm...

A new topic was needed

So, I'll start it up...

Once upon a time, there...

...was a man named Spanky.

who was busy with three...

...Moys of his own. heh.

The youngest one in curls?

The red-head givin' the raspberry?

Naughty Moys! Go to bed!

Just five more minutes? Please?

Stick those tongues back in!

Or you'll be catching flies!

major league Outfielders do okay.

Then why allathuh crotch adjustments?!?!?

Hadn't noticed. don't check guys.

I'd rather check gals anyway.

Why's Kent's avatar a gal?

Maybe he's been taking Profem?

Profem...where've I heard'at recently?

Been following your thread lately?

What thread do you mean?

The only one that matters.

You got dat right, bo!

Tooting your own horn, Lardy?

Well, no one else is...

Sounds like a personal problem...

You need a louder horn?

Try tooting a French horn.

Don't those sound particularly arrogant?

Well, and your point is . . . ?

The French have arrogant horns?

My son plays a trombone.

I have no *choke* son!

You shouldn't choke a son.

Who are you, Homer Simpson?!

When he first started playing...

it sounded like something choking.

played trombone in fifth grade.

but used the wrong end.

Adults in Charlie Brown's universe

Wah wah? Wah waaant wah!

Who's better, Simpsons or Peanuts ?

Better at what, pray tell?

Apples and oranges, I say.

Which would be the apple?

whichever one's not the PC.

*groan* Geek humor RED ALERT!!!

Fire all photon torpedoes, Chekov!

"Which way to nuclear wessels?"

"I was never that young."

"No. You were younger. " -Kirk

slash fanfic started with Kirk/Spock.

Slash played guitar for Guns'n'Roses.

And most recently, Velvet Revover.

Humans are inferior to rodents.

Said the recent gunshot victim.

Alrighty, what's this all about?

It's about a dead rodent.

My policeman impersonation is bad

ain't easy being a cop!

It is when I'm drunk...

Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Special sig lines don't count!)

Yurr unner arress mishter Ranzher!

Let's see your badge, Lardy.

It's here, in my pocket.

good night, one and all.

Are ya givin' up, Kent?

Looks like he gave up.

Too drunk, I suppose so.

Gotta sleep (it off) sometime.

He drank whole bottle rum!

There's that Tonto speak again.

Hey: DRUNK! Gimme a break!!!

When you can't write properly . . .

. . . isn't it time to quit?

Nah! Don't EVER quit, Huey!

Your liver will thank you.

Hey, don't judge me, man!

best left to proper authorities.

Quote

Originally posted by He Who Wanders:
. . . isn't it time to quit?

The drinking, or the writing?

Friends Don't Let Friends Drunk-post.

I think I did okay!

you're an objective judge, then?

Absolutely, positively 100 percent objective!

Ohmygod! you guys are silly!

Silly can be sexy, Brit!

Ohmygod! Not in your case!

<==Have ya seen me lately?!?!?

No. We're on the Internet.

<==Duh! Pointing out my avatar!

Which is "you" precisely how?

It's "me" on Legion World!

Lard Lad is my friend.

That avatar is not Lardy

I have known some avatars.

Avatars are friends of mine.

You, sir, are no avatar.

"Avatar: the Last Airbender" RAWKS!

Changing the subject, are we?

Want me to change avs?

The American Vacuum Society? Why?

No, my avatar. Is bad?

It's kind of cute, actually.

Cuter than the old one?

Cute in a different way.

Which one is your favorite?

Why, they're all my favorite!

That's extremely noncommital of you!

666... threadpost of the Beast!

The current avatar is cuter...

...but the other's classic Lardy.

Previous looks just like me.

Mine's like me, only cuter.

Not much cuter, you realize!

Definitely more adorable than me!

If you like that type.

See my pix : U decide!

That didn't work for me

Go to "Pictures of Members"!

It doesn't work there either

Rilly? I can see fine.

All I see are X-boxes

Cali saw 'em last night.

Don't ask me why so

Wonder what the deal is?

I see dashes and x-boxes.

Better than seeing dead people.

Or dead puppies . . . or roadkill . . .

Doesn't that go without saying?

I'm sure it's somebody's bag.

Hopefully it's in a bag.

Isn't that Animal Control's job?

Well it's not my job.

Me? A job?! To Laugh...

Ha-ha! Tee-hee! snort! chuckle! Bwah-ha-ha-ha!!!

That Quis... such a cut-up!

I am not a surgeon!

But lawyers do wallet extractions?

They truly, most sincerely DO!

You can't tell by me.

Then quit working pro bono!

Done. I am not working.

That's right, I forgot. Sorry!

Hey! Party at Quis' place!

In his pants? Huh? Huh?

No private party. All invited.

Doesn't that constitute an oxymoron?

That a jab at Quis?

Hah--just turning'is words against'im!

You're stretching word definitions there.

I stretch other things, too...

...like the boundaries of decency!

... which do not exist here.

you really exist. Anything's game.

Should we start getting existential?

Or would nihilism be better?

Better than what, I ask.

Better Than Ezra, I suggest.

Better than Nehemiah, too, then?

But not better than Elijah.

I've always really liked Mendelssohn.

But it does edge Sean.

Sean who? Penn or Connery?

I was thinking of Astin.

Ah! Samwise to the rescue.

After second breakfast, of course.

We can't have hungry hobbits.

Fisher Price's Hungry, Hungry Hobbits.

Wasn't that made by Hasbro?

I needed five words there.

Maybe Hasbro should make it.

I think somebody should, certainly.

Maybe "Hungry, Hungry Hyvvies", instead?

What the heck are "Hyvvies"?

Beagles. Cute, rampaging little beagles.

Aren't "cute" and "rampaging" contradictory?

Have you ever had pets?

Had pets or been petted?

I've never had pet Beagles.

Not a dog person myself.

Hyvvie and I forgive you.

Hyvvie and you are kind.

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Lard Lad:
Not a dog person myself.

No subject in that sentence.

From foreshadowing to Act Two?

What are you talking about?

Is Lolita being kinda oblique?

Explanations never; hints for sure

Hyvvie and I are confused.

That means you're both LMBPers

Technically, he's a Super Pet.

On LW and in reality.

You've met Hyvvie, Outdoor Miner?

No. But dogs are cool.

I have exceeded 6700 posts.

I'm now going to bed.

I delight in the achievement.

Miner has met Hyvvie's daddy.

I'm partial to Bees myself

That is a huge surprize.

Few things actually surprise me

What has surprized you lately?

How much I missed posting

We missed you posting, too!

Sharky's back where he belongs

**Meow**

Cat language count?

**Meow**

We allow Tontospeak. Why not?

Quote

Originally posted by Lard Lad:
We missed you posting, too!

Thanks, Lard! I appreciate that!

Quote

Originally posted by Quislet, Esq.:
Sharky's back where he belongs

You can go home again!

Hopefully, you'll stick around awhile!

I guess anything is possible

The impossible is not possible

At least according to definition.

Semantics, thy name is Quis!

"Semantics"? People who like Bewitched?

I thought that they sang...

What I Like About You

Semantically, that was The Romantics.

The Romantics, not the Semantics!

Simultaneous corrections! How about that?

I witnessed the violating post!

Too bad. So sad, Lad.

Just you wait, 'Enry 'Iggins!

By Jove, he's got it!

Not by Jove, you Pagan!

I thought Higgins was Anglican.

I accused Huey, actually, Rocky.

Not pagan. Not Anglican, either.

Should non-Pagans proclaim, "By Jove"?

If paraphrasing 'enry 'iggins, yes.

Perhaps 'enry was secretly Pagan?

Anglicans often say strange things.

I know because I am.

Maybe I'm an Anglican then?

Anglican--or Episcopalian--that is.

So saying "By Jove" is...

...kinda a secret Anglican handshake?

No. "Vouchsafe" or "beseech", maybe.

Your counterpart is Emperor Penguin!

Perhaps make it Anglican Penguin.

Rockhopper Lad is actually Pyngwypalian.

That's the character. Not me.

Thank you for clarifying that.

Yeah. Enquiring minds wanna know.

Was my post too snarky?

No. I still love you.

Can one be "too snarky"?

Ask Ann Coulter, shall we?

Go right ahead. I'll wait.

"Hello, FOXNEWS? Gimme the b!%c#..."

"Fair and balanced" my foot!

You got THAT right, Rocky...

Your foot's fair and balanced?

Actually, it's webbed and clawed.

Does it smell like fish?

Can you walk on it?

Does it catch stray bugs?

No, yes and no, fellas.

Were your answers in order?

Yes, of course they were.

Why, how organized of you!

organized by Dewey Decimal System?

That's a fair inference, dedman.

But are librarians all booksmart?

Rocky has street cred too.

He feeds the parking meter?

No, he's not a token.

Isn't he our token Pyngwyn?

"Penguins is practically chickens" - Hobo

Is it fair to stereotype?

Like penguins wearing three-piece suits?

Penguins, like Pyngwyns, wear nothing.

Item! Rockhopper Lad is nudist!!!!

That's not news. It's established.

I was outta the loop.

too many inane post threads

...too few inane porn threads!

And no insane posse threads.

isn't that a good thing?

Sure, for whomever they chase.

Help!

Clowns are after me!

1.Find Volkswagen 2. Stuff clowns inside.

3. Send posse after clown-stuffed Volkswagen.

Head 'em up, move 'em out!

Free posse at the door!

The best posse isn't free.

Has anyone seen my posse?

Didn't you eat them recently?

Nope, that was a PossUM.

Possum, the other white meat.

Tastes like chicken, it does.

Chicken - tastes just like rattlesnake!

Therefore, rattlesnake tastes like posse?

Rattlesnake Shake: yum, yum, yum!

I think my posse spoiled.

Check their posse expiration date.

Quis usually uses inane threads

<---- Not above post hookering myself

He works hard for the

money, Ehh EHH Ehh EHH!

Donna Summers you are NOT!

Heard she had great posse.

Quote

Originally posted by Quislet, Esq.:
Donna Summers you are NOT!

Was channeling Hank Azaria's Agador .

Donna's orgasm records: very hot

If you like that thing

I like that thing

That's the way, uhHUH uhHUH

I like it, uhHUH uhHUH

Do Do Do Doo Do

Wop da ma loo mop!

ba ba bomp bam bomb!

Do sounds count as "words"?

are there enough to care?

But... but... I do care!

You see my care face?

Can anyone see your face?

Only LadyLard... and she's scared!

(Actually, his face's quite handsome. )

Quote

Originally posted by He Who Wanders:
Can anyone see your face?

See my care face, now?

[Linked Image]

(It's the rest that's scary.

)

Quote

Originally posted by Pov:
(Actually, his face's quite handsome. )

Quote

Originally posted by Pov:
(It's the rest that's scary.

)

*Whew* Had me worried, there!

Messed up hair = good look

It's called "Bedhead", 'mI right?

Hair advice best from Matt

Beloved Ultra Matt, of course

Whose birthday is coming up!

LW needs more Ultra Matt!!!!

In fact, isn't it tomorrow?

It IS! And we DO!

You should start a thread!

Has Pov ever started one?

I was wondering that also

We could do a search.

Or make Lardy do it

Why not have Pov instead?

Pov's attention comes and goes

I blame all the drugs.

Perfectly legal and insurance-funded drugs.

What? Like that 'medical' marijuana?

Is that what explains this?

[Linked Image]

[/QB][/QUOTE]

That I like Carolina Panthers?

I guess someone has to

Who's your team, smarty pants?

The Buffalo Bills, of course.

Yeah, nothing to criticize there... :rolleyes:

Who criticized your team, Lardy?

You, in a roundabout way.

Getting a little defensive, Lardy?

Just borderline offensive, as usual!

Kind of like your team...

Just hope they don't suck!

Yeah, I know that feeling...

Already off to bad start...

...Steve Smith suspended two games.

Trent Edwards banged up knee...

Jason Peters still holding out...

The spectre of the Pats?

Puck the stinkin' cheatin' Fatriots...

Somebody seems like he's jealous!

Or feeling outnumbered in Patriotland.

RI needs its own team.

Foxborough's practically in Rhode Island.

My neighborhood is called Foxborough!

The Gem of Norfolk County?

Now I hate this thread.

Like you liked it before!

I'm an Indianapolis Colts fan.

I'm a longtime Packers fan

But I'll sure miss Brett

So? Cheer for the Jets.

You've already got the outfit!

Save it for the honeymoon.

I'll bet the honeymoon won't...

...diminish Cobie's posting presence here.

time for "Irate LC" graemlin?

How about a :cobiesseveredtestes: greamlin?

Bah! Cobie does as pleases

Even with jewels in jar?

That's what men often say . . .

. . . before they actually get married.

I demand the aforementioned graemlin!

I implore it not created!

Note the respect shown Nighty

Please don't make me laugh.

Okay, but how about giggle?

Wouldn't that be GiGi's forte'?

Troy avatar; 'sword' jokes commence

My sword's bigger than yours.

More like a pen knife.

pen mightier than sword: poetry?

But mightier than phallus? Nah!

Writing your name in snow.

That requires mad skillz, man!

Asparagus makes your pee smell.

Makes it grow a nose?

Man, who'd of thunk it.

Really, how's that even possible?

In cartoons anything is possible.

We are in a cartoon...

In which pee grows noses?

Just wait til grows ears

Potatoes grow eyes, why not?

Potatoes have no rights here

B-but... Idaho part of Union!

I demand equal spuds rights!

Subject of the Union actually

How about you rule it?

Either you or Anti-Lad

Think of the chives, man!

I'm a lover, not ruler.

Chives: grown up are Malcontents

How about you $*!*$ it?

Watch the language Mr. Cobalt!

Pardon the obscenity, good sir

Beware the Morals Purity Squad!

Perhaps our greatest foes ever!

Oh, go get married already.

(To LC, not to Quis...

)

I would say "I do"

And what if I accepted?

That would be acceptable too.

I'll go get a tux.

Oh you'll look so handsome!

What will you be wearing?

A smile or a tux

Pov, who is LC? Lauren?

LC - Short for Lady Cobalt.

Watch Cobie's Homer impersonation - D'oh!!!

Well, what about Lauren Conrad?

More partial to Leonard Cohen.

You would be. Me no.

Just who is Lauren Conrad?

<and please withhold the links

>

You don't want to know.

But then maybe you do

The hottest one on MTV!

That could possibly be disputed.

Especially by someone like me.

And I never watch MTV.

Did Quislet and I marry?

Did you say "I do"?

I don't recall; let's see...

No; I hypothetically posited acceptance.

I guess we aren't married.

Quis and a rat? Scandalous!!!

Pov! A little discretion, please.

Thank you kindly, impoverished one.

No problem, O Shy One...

But Isn't rat same thing?

The same thing as what?

(Inside joke from edited post...

)

Isn't Quis engaged to Roy?

I think Quis is roaming!

Hm, but are his hands?

Should Quis fear Roy's axe?

Is axe used as euphanism?

Is it Roy's body spray?

They should be married soon!

Are you an Axe man?

LW Weddings: beacon of insanity?

Reception: Roy playing electric guitar?

No Chicken Dance for me.

No rubber chicken for me.

No Electric Slide for me

Boogie Oogie Oogie Oogie, Cobie!

Come'n do the Hokey Pokey

That's what it's all about

That's what what's all about?

You put your [censored] in...

You take your garbage out

(Forgot about five word limit!)

You burn all the evidence

And sell your partners out

Ya do the Enron-okie Pokie

Be an Okie from Muskogee.

I'd Sooner be from Enid

I'd sooner stay in Missouri.

I'd sooner stay up later.

And do the Mashed Potato!

Nothin' like some tater lovin'!!!

Just ask Ron White's wife!

They call him Tater Salad!

Mating with taters is illegal

Mating with sheep IS, though?

Thought those jokes were banned!

Sheep jokes or tater jokes?

Like in the Spanish Inquisition?

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!

"The Inquisition--what a show!"

Rocky--check word count, please.

Sorry. It's a birthday thing.

Spanish Inquisitor: latin lover / executioner?

It was all about bondage!

Please! Don't! Stop! Don't stop!

Bondage masks are slightly unnerving

or a turn-on for some.

Do they turn you on?

Do I make you horny?

That's for me to know

and you to find out

will we find out too?

Sure, the more, the merrier

What does Sir Roy think?

It's his mask, you know

He still has the mask?

Is that for the bedroom?

It's not for the boardroom.

Not JUST the bedroom anymore

Not JUST for breakfast anymore.

Do smileys count as "words"?

Upon further review: they don't.

Then some prior posts ... failed!

If smiley meant to replace...

...actual word, then smiley counts.

Breaking sentence in two: cheating!

What's the punishment for that?

Post count decreased by 500!

Only after your last post

There'll always be another post...

STUlet O'Hara, Post w/t Wind...

Better "post" than passing wind

Just ask poor Lady Cobalt!

Remember LMBP villain, Dutch Oven?

On the Food Network perhaps?

Different kind of dutch oven!

Watch COOKIN\' WITH CEE DUB

His cookbooks: GREAT GIFT IDEAS!

You never give me anything.

But you have never asked.

Ask, and ye shall receive.

A million dollars and electrolysis

By "shall," I meant "may."

By May, I mean December.

As in, "May-December romance"?

I've experienced "June-October," myself.

I could say that, too.

It is almost September now.

Where has the summer gone?

I do love autumn, however.

I was born in autumn.

Fall's historically bad for me.

Why do you say that?

"Autumn"'s more evocative than "fall."

MS diagnosed in Oct '96.

Bad flares Fall '01, '05.

Bummer. And it causes bubblebutt?

Seriously, that's too bad, Pov.

Numbness, weakness, progressing to wheelchair-bound.

Thanks, AFOB. Forgive my whining.

Metron, Prof. X, my idols

Not whining, just venting, man.

Don't make me slap you!

Metron, Xavier-You bald too?

Try not to. Gets old.

Quote

Originally posted by Arm Fall Off Boy:
Metron, Xavier-You bald too?

Yes sir, I am indeed!

But you are better looking

May I rub your head?

And can he make wishes?

Just appearance of Arkansas angel.

Rub and wish away, all!

I wish Pov good health!

Jake keeps us on road!

Thank you, He Who Wanders.

I wish Pov great wealth!

I wish ME great wealth!

(Hold arms out, waits patiently)

Time to buy PowerBall tix.

Ask me for losing numbers.

No thanks, got my own.

If Pov wealthy... not "Pov"!

I vow to remain pantsless!

Easily kept vow, I think.

I keep my goals low.

So are you invariably successful?

Saying - Nothing succeeds like success!

Although failure's a good teacher.

Failure - Those who can't, teach.

But those who can't teach...?

Teach teachers how to teach.

Sounds like a tongue twister.

She sells seashells by seashore.

Sixth sheik's sixth sheep's sick.

So rig for suicide bombing.

Sheep lovers are horribly offended.

Veterinarian Cobie to the rescue

Let's help Quis beat Cobie!

Cobie: aspiring sheep OB-GYN.

He knows where to look...

And where might that be?

Where you least expect it

Oh, Stuey expects it, uh-huh!

(indignant) How would you know?

Cobie sent me the pictures.

Why didn't I get them?

"Didn't you get the memo?"

Lumbergh forgot to send it

I guess he's to blame

Such is life at Initech

Wasn't that Apache Chief's cry?

I think it was Giganta's

I miss the old Superfriends.

Marvin, Wendy and Wonder Dog?

Photos too hot for LW!

Inane FIVE words, not six.

I only count five words!

Also, bending rules: mod privilege!

You're a MOD? Somebody goofed!

Hush now! Don't tell Nighty!

I was gonna blame Scooter.

Beware: Legion of the Banned!

Been there and done that.

Quis- 99 posts behind Scooter.

Getting closer by the minute!

Pov needs to count again

2219 until Double Time Trapper!

I doubt I'll beat Cobie

What instrument would you use?

Post softly; carry big stick.

Don't touch my big stick!

Don't point it at me!

Too pointy to be real

Sort of like Madonna's bra.

You'll put an eye out!

Aye, Aye, Captain No Eye!

No eyes- he's TMK-era Probe!

That "stick"'s covered in seaweed!

Seaweed is good packing material.

Also pretty tasty on sushi.

Um... seaweed, not SharkLad's "stick."

Freudian slip? Initially typed "seawood."

Sometimes, a cigar is just . . .

Want to buy a bridge?

Does it resemble a cigar?

Has it been in Lewinsky?

What kinda bridge is this??

A strange one it seems.

Does it go to Terabithia?

(Lewinsky referred to cigar, silly... )

Cigar referred to the bridge!

I bid two no trump.

Bridge: too complicated to learn...

Bridges, so easy to burn...

Britches, easy to not wear...

Bitches, no fun to hear...

(Not directed at anyone, honest!)

[whistles, and looks around innocently]

A sure sign of guilt.

How would you defend him...

in a court of law?

Insanity defense - sure fired acquittal

Yup... I can see it.

"I can see cleeeearly now...

Cleaned your glasses, did you?

Keeping glasses clean really sucks!!

Tell me about it Janet

Who's Janet? What's the reference?

Definitely went over my head.

Never saw Rocky Horror Picture?

Saw it. Many years ago.

Still can't place the reference.

Columbia and Magenta watching Janet

Was Janet singing "T-T-T-Touch Me"?

Around that time or before

That's how I remember Janet.

Let's do the Time Warp!

But I don't want to!

Too hot to handle, sugarpie?

Who you calling, sugarpie?

Sharklad wants a new petname.

How about Dear Old Chum?

or maybe DOC for short ...

eh what's up Doc? snicker

Don't laugh at sharks, Quis...

Their smiles are quite deadly!

Not smiles actually, but teeth.

Sharks: teeth. Teeth: razor sharp.

Colons, but no question marks!

Must there always be "??"?

Not necessary on this thread.

Only necessity here: Five words.

Five words plus lotsa love?

Five words, unlimited punctuation marks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Limited only by good taste.

Good taste? Guess I'm out!

Great taste but less filling.

I love the creamy filling!

Just not mine, I'd guess.

(Was Quis just hitting on me?

)

Got you horny, didn't it.

Why else use six words?

Like that would take much!

maybe flustered instead of horny

Notice I don't edit mistakes!

Lardy sticks to his guns

He should clean them more.

I likes 'em dirty, y'all!

Watch out for rusty barrel...

what about a rusty trombone?

They related to Rusty Shackleford?

How about a Dirty Sanchez?

Better than a Dirty LARDLAD?

Same, only with more feces

Google it... if you DARE!

Wikipedia had seven different matches.

I created a Wikipedia entry!

Go see, if you doubt!

An entry for what exactly?

I... I shudder to think...!

Having a memory lapse there?

He's over 30... it happens.

Are you under thirty, Povvins?

I'm over 40. What happened?

What was I just saying?

I dunno...something about kumquats?

Wikipedia entry for "Dirty LARDLAD."

I'm under 30 -- youthful, energetic!

Life, natch, begins at 40.

Guess I'm stuck in middle.

No wikipedia entry, but Lardlad.com

Don't go there! Awful pron!!

"Kumquats"... dirtiest sounding word ever!

Quote

Originally posted by Quislet, Esq.:
No wikipedia entry, but Lardlad.com

That Lardlad's a total poseur.

So quoted words don't count?

Lardy makes his own rules!

Quote

Originally posted by Legatus Ferrous Rodentus:
So quoted words don't count?

It's been done. Not often.

Clarifies what I'm responding to...

...especially when intermittent posts occur!

Intermittency- sign of prostate problem?

It hurts when I pee?

How about rest of alphabet?

It hurts when I "arrrr"!

Ooh... "Old One-legged Pirate Syndrome"...

What's with the one-legged theme?

Your kink, you tell ME!

I didn't create those characters!!!!

"Peg-legged" screws up acronym "O.O.P.S.".

Quote

Originally posted by Lard Lad:
I didn't create those characters!!!!

That's right... wasn't it Semi?

You were going for acronym?

Semi created one of 'em.

Quote

Originally posted by Lard Lad:
You were going for acronym?

Every good disease has one!

Are you an acro-holic, Pov?

Depends on your P.O.V., huh?

Some Hippies Are Really Killers

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Legatus Ferrous Rodentus:
I'm under 30 -- youthful, energetic!

I believe...in Harvey Dent.

D'you believe... life after love?

I don't believe in love ...

I don't belie-eve in Beatles...

I believe I'll have another.

Believe you'll have another what?

Do you believe in magic?

In a young girl's heart?

Young girl's heart = spell component?

Something else else to be shattered carelessly?

What would this spell accomplish?

Total world domination thru puberty?

Did you intentionally misspell "through"?

Yes, lazily eliminated three letters!

But total letter count irrelevant!

Maybe that's another thread idea!

"Posts with exactly 30 letters."

You'r head's hurting, isn't it?

I took cyanide strength Excedrin

makes the pain stop permanently

Is Quis feeling emo today?

No, he's just tickling him.

Reminds me of previous discussion.

"Tickle Me Emo" vid rawks!

that sounds a little inappropriate

It is for grown men.

Who determines what's appropriate? Republicans?

Republicans and Democrats should merge

Would the result be... republicrats?

President by nude jello wrestling.

In that case... who'd win?

(And who'd want to watch?

)

I'd watch a nude Obama.

Not so much nude McCain

Nude Palin for you guys?

Palin's body... with McCain's face?

McCain's body with Palin's face???????

That's just so, SO wrong!

Reagan's body with Dubya's brain?

So... just Reagan's body, then...

Whose brain is better preserved?

Was Reagan's head on Futurama ?

Can you check your DVDs?

Assuming he has Futurama DVD.

Maybe you could check Wikipedia.

Not there, but check here .

No Wikipedia entry? I'm shocked!

Wikipedia mentions; does not list.

Darn Wikipedia! Darn it all!!!!

Darn it like holey sock!

Darn it straight to heel!

There'll be HEEL toe pay!

One week to go now

This... the end of Cobalt?

He will be Cobalt MAN

If he's marrying "Lady Cobalt"...

...should he be "Lord Cobalt"?

Consistency = Hobgoblin of little minds

You sayin' my mind's little?!

Green Goblin of little minds = ?

Don't blame me! Blame Emerson!

Can't! He doesn't frequent LW.

He is not Transcendental Lad?

No, that's Lake N. Palmer.

Favorite book: Where's Ralph Waldo?

In the bedroom with Whitman

You saying they were lovers?

Neither admit nor deny it

But how do you know?

What if everyone were omniscient?

Get... out... of... my... head!!

Your head...or your head?

What're you trying to imply?

It's all about your p***s!

You're obsessed with my p***s!

Everyone's obsessed with your p***s!!!

Why do they deny it?

They're insecure with their masculinity!

And you are not insecure?

Do I seem particularly insecure?

Well, you are sweating profusely.

Fat guys sweat a lot.

Well, it is humid out.

One Hundred percent... Thanks Hanna!

Hanna's pouring down on me.

Enough already! Go see Nancy!

(Not you, Quis, the rain...

)

I wouldn't mind seeing Nancy.

Take Hanna to meet her.

And leave you all alone????

Then he'd be Mister Lonely.

A name change for Pov?

Mr. Dry, at your service...

Did your cork get soaked?

Dried up, fell in bottle...

You have a shriveled cork?

At least it still foats.

Er... whatever "foats" your boat!

Refuse to edit for typos.

I would never do that

You'd do everything else though

He'd do anything for love.

I'd do "that" (for money).

Why would anybody pay you?

STU would be worth it.

Sight-unseen? Buy at own risk...

Or at a deeeeep discount.

STU takes it pretty deep...

(or so I've been told.

)

We discussing STU's p***s again?

Why, would you like to?

(Not that I want to...

)

Isn't everything about STU's p***s?

(and YOU started it, tonight!!!

)

I said he TAKES it.

Nothing about him giving it.

STU plays receiver, not QB.

TWEET!! Five Word Penalty - Pov

Guilty as charged... Spank me!

Confused with "Six Words" thread...

Quote

Originally posted by Pov:
(or so I've been told.

)

Nice try... but ultimately unconvincing.

There, I fixed 'em. Better?

Don't you feel better now?

Quote

Originally posted by Pov:
:bendsforwardwillingly:

Evidence: Pov "takes it deep."

Quote

Originally posted by Quislet, Esq.:
Don't you feel better now?

Don't know. You tell ME.

Quote

Originally posted by Masked STU:

Quote

Originally posted by Pov:
[b]:bendsforwardwillingly:

Evidence: Pov "takes it deep."[/b]

That's for SPANKING, not "probing"!

Sometimes paddle slips inside... "accidentally"! :rolleyes:

Quote

Originally posted by Pov:
STU takes it pretty deep...

There are two interpretations there.

Minds out of gutters fellas!

There's life outside of gutters?!

They wear pants there, though

You'll never catch ME there...

Is Pov the gingerbread man?

Take a bite and see.

Not even for a bribe!

But I'm Sweet Ass Sweet!

Who'd want to "tap" that?

Whoever wants my special syrup!

A teaspoonful at a time!

It goes great on waffles!

Maple syrup on mine, thanks.

Miss Marla Maple syrup, perchance?

I'm harvesting it, double fisted!

One at a time, probably. :rolleyes:

Other fist is not mine!

It's not in front, either. :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

What, have you been watching?

Lardy is selling the tape.

Totally photoshopped, fake bootleg copy!

That explains your plus-sized package...

I have NO package, now.

Check with Lost and Found

He didn't say "he's" searching...

Proud statement of "his" transformation.

Like that will last here.

Nothing good ever lasts long

Only the good die young

I'm going to live forever!

You are not that bad.

He's not that good, either.

'Twas LW that corrupted me!

House of the Rising SunBoy?

(Just singing "Fame" theme song.)

FEEEEEMMM! Lardy has boobs forever...

I'm gonna flap'em and FLY!

You'll putcher eye out, kid!

They can be quite deadly!

Didn't Lardy always have boobs?

Just not quite that nice.

How do my manboobs look?

You sure you have manboobs?

"All men are boobs."- Lesbians

"We like wearing plaid" - Lesbians

I like wearing plaid, too!

Well, who doesn't? I do!

Then you and I = lesbians??

I'm lesbian in man's body.

I'd make a rotten lesbian

Me too; too tall, hairy.

You mean you're Rosie O'Donnell?!

No WONDER no STU pictures.

I bet Pov {hearts} Rosie. :rolleyes:

Three STUs equal one Rosie.

Quote

Originally posted by Hot STU:
I bet Pov {hearts} Rosie. :rolleyes:

Rosie leaves Kelli for Pov

What am I... Lesbian Lovetree?

Portia leaves Ellen for me!

Wake up STU! Wake up!

Anyone else tired of Lardboobs?

(No, I didn't think so...

)

Actually I am. Stop it!

Quis, Esq. lays the smackdown!

A new day, new inanities

Is Semi's colon a semicolon ( ; ) ?

Does Quis fence with Esq-wire?

How does Lardy grease fryingpans?

MLLASH: Dominatrix in real world?

Pov- Still waiting on Lotto...

I have the losing numbers.

But winning walk and smile.

maybe you will win it

Sharklad: Nibble is never enough.

Lottery to Quis: Bite me.

Poor Quis.

Always a bridesmaid...

Thriftshop Debutante: Paris' new BFF?

Teeds: Too HOT for Hilton!

"Hot! Hot! Hot!" Buster Poindexter

Buster's real name-David Johansen

Not that anyone really cared...

Maybe he cared, at least?

I think his mom cared.

Nah, his mom hated him.

Why else name him thus?

David Johansen or Buster Poindexter?

Buster's better, don't you think?

I try not to think.

It shows in your posts...

And my high post count.

my post count is low

Try a change in diet?

Inane diet = high post count

What constitutes an inane diet?

The e-consumption of Cobie's posts.

Does that cause virtual heartburn?

That, and very hairy palms.

Alright, show us your hands!

No, you weird hand fetishist!

Nationalizing troubled companies solves everything.

Including Lardy's bizarre hand fetishism?

Government run porn lacks variety.

Are you familiar with such?

Surely not in Republican administration!

And Iraq is not obscene?

I'm getting off soapbox now.

Iraq's another four letter word.

so are Bush and Rove.

Aren't they lovers, as well?

(THERE'S a pay-per-view to avoid...

)

Government sponsored Rove Bush porn?

Condi'd buy THAT for dollar!

Cheney porn: shoot in face!

I think I'm gonna vomit

What, are you not impressed ?

I really am gonna vomit

D'you think that was photoshopped?

It's probably an -ostomy bag.

It's definitely full of something!

The brains behind the President.

(Using term "brains" very loosely.)

Election can't be soon enough.

But result might be bad.

When has it been good?

There's hope...then it's gone.

Believe in place called Hope.

Live in place called Despair

Eat in place called Arby's.

R B is Republican Beef?

RB is Rhythm and Blues!

Or Ritchie Blackmore (Deep Purple).

Eggplant is a deep purple

In my deep purp-uhl dream!

Can I share your hookah?

I've got the hookah hook-up?

I may narc you out.

To whom would you narc?

The DEA comes to mind

"Lardy and Stu are druggies!"

I only do placebos, man!

<====High on drug called Life.

That's not life you're huffing

That's farts in your spandex.

Pov, why'd you scratch'n sniff?

most scratch'n'sniff smells like shiite

but... but I wash mine!

And we thank you deeply

But not too deeply, please.

Truly, madly, deeply, he does!

Can I just say... OUCH!

Here... take these two Midol.

...and call Stu in morning.

Don't call; I'll be sleeping!

So when do you work?!

When you least expect it!

That's what your boss says... :rolleyes:

"That is what she said!"

Right before she fired you?

She didn't take him home.

Not even supply closet sex.

His other, MALE boss, however...

Workplace sexual harassment is fun!

...says lawyer seeking new clients...?

Not everything is a lawsuit

"Her buttocks assaulted my hand!"

I've used that defense often!

And is it ever effective?

I've never been in jail.

Tho I may've been fined...

Pov - fine for buttock touching

I only touch fine buttocks.

How do you define "fine"?

He touched it - It's fine.

Like Armstrong touched the Moon.

With his spacesuit booted feet?

That's Super Boots ....of Space!

The Ultimate in Space Protection

But providing protection from what?

STD... of Space! of course!

Don't you mean Space-STU protection?

Like you'd ever catch Space-STU... :rolleyes:

Easy with the right bait.

Quis is a master baiter...

What bait is he using?

Roofies on a hook, apparently

Hook, sharp? Not so tempting.

Just use the right hooker.

Hooker and hook: big difference!

The difference is the "er".

Chose a dominatrix: Get Both.

Where can I choose dominatrices?

Could you go to Domino's?

Another perk: don't they deliver?

Probably'd require a HELLACIOUS tip!

You tip... for two tips?

Is that a boobie reference?

Isn't everything a boobie reference?

Man...didn't GRL change me back too damn soon?

Quote

Originally posted by LardLad:
Man...didn't GRL change me back too damn soon?

Way more than five words!

Harumph! Mod appointment...so arbitrary!

Don't hate... it's not becoming!

Why aren't I a mod?

What've you done for Nighty?

We do have our standards.

I'm a standard bearer, dammit!

You're a standard bear, maybe!

Standard bear or standard barer?

Well, recently I've been both!

I can't bear Lardy barer!

LardBear? I missed that one.

Be thankful that you did!

The magic is officially gone.

Those are pretty hairy boobs

Lardy needs a full-body wax.

Dipped on trapeze... like candle?

(up to his neck only.

)

Stu removes wax... with teeth.

Wax Teeth - Candy or toy?

I never liked Wax Teeth.

Had them once - got bored.

Wax on...wax off, dude.

I did that this morning.

Quote

Originally posted by Pov:
Stu removes wax... with teeth.

Hooked on STU-cam, I see. :rolleyes:

They cut off my Cable.

Any port in a storm.

^^Black Panther on Wedding Night?

OK, I'll stop it now.

Oh, who am I kidding?

:rolleyes:

You were only fooling yourself

Baby I'm NOT fuhfuhfuh Foolin\'!

I'd love a raspberry fool .

I pity da fool. suckas.

When'd you get that mohawk?

Right before Rocky III. Sucka.

I still pity da fool.

Alas mores the pity then

Tom Pity, and the Heartbreakers?

Don' come round here nomo.

You dissin KC pitcher Hideo ?

Misleading movie title: Hideous Kinky .

no. I dissin yo countin.

count em and weep. sucka.

replyin to Pov, not STU.

Quote

Originally posted by Stu Rat:
Misleading movie title: Hideous Kinky .

I know I was decieved.

Quote

Originally posted by Kent Shakespeare:
replyin to Pov, not STU.

Fixed it, all better, buhBYE.

Quote

Originally posted by Pov:

Quote

Originally posted by Stu Rat:
[b]Misleading movie title: Hideous Kinky .

I know I was decieved.

[/b]

"Decieved"? You channelin' Cobie again?

Pov's got lots to edit!

Spellin be diff'rent in Connitticit.

Nutmeg powder confuses da brain!

You be mad trippin, yo!

Don' be hatin, playa, namean?

Quote

Originally posted by Stu Rat:
Misleading movie title: Hideous Kinky .

Wish I hadn't clicked link

It wishes you didn't, too.

"Winslet: I Love Getting Naked"

"Stu: Me too, me too"

"Pov: I Always Post Pantsless"

Well, DUH. Sometimes less'n THAT...

A no word post, Pov?

Oops! Oops! Oops! Oops! Oops!

You are forgiven - This time.

Five "oops"es-- What's more inane?

that's not even five smileys

too hot too hot oops!

Three smileys, but five words.

1,700 post milestone, yay ME!

And I got 1,701 -- w00t!

How is 1,701 a milestone?

Is 1,700 a milestone, really?

In the classic LMBP sense.

You've got Lard on'da brain.

Not to mention on'da @$$...

maybe if you wore pants....

...you would not see it

monkey see, monkey dood it.

'zat Zit or bubble?

*POP!*

It splattered all over STU!

Clean up on aisle three.

STU is in aisle three?

That's the canned veggie aisle.

Pick me up some peas.

Any kind of peas, Quis?

Del Monte brand baby peas.

I'm gonna watch the Emmys

Why, what's Emmy doing now?

Watch and you'll find out.

Who's the host this year?

The web site doesn't say.

Be sure to let me...

...know if BSG wins anything.

Were they nominated for anything?

I watched the Emmys tonight.

Don't watch half the winners.

Its all a popularity contest.

So who's the most popular?

click here for the list.

Has anyone watched 30 Rock?

Only channel-surfing for Tina Fey.

Was wondering if it's good.

Must-See Thursday: Dead without SCRUBS .

NBC Thursday: not so must-see.

I simply adore the Office

Why're they constantly mugging camera?

Because they're insecure and needy.

Steve Carell- Better in Anchorman.

I liked Little Miss Sunshine

40 Year Old Virgin rawked!

Did you see uncut DVD?

No, I don't think so.

Me neither; thought I'd ask.

Thank you for asking - NOT!

Don't care for that flick?

No, just posting five words.

Oh. How on-topic of you!

Someone has to be, right?

But haven't we all been?

Excepting a few screw-ups...Sure!

I neither deny nor admit

"I did not have sexual...

...relations with that woman...Lewinski."

You and Bill Clinton both.

Personally, I think that counts.

Sometimes cigar is... phallic symbol.

Sometimes cigar is just cigar.

Smoking is a health risk.

Means did it too fast!

Man with a slow hand.

... lover with an easy touch ...

...somebody who'll spend some time...

. . . something something something "heated rush."

He Who Wanders....lyrical genius

Or maybe a genial lyricist?

better than a genital therapist

I don't know about that...

You'd get tired after awhile

Also... some genitals are diseased.

that never stopped you before.

Referring to Pov, not me.

Self-referential is all the rage

Rage against the machine, okay?

Welcome, m'son, to the machine.

Doobage and Laser Floyd RAWK!

Um, not that I'd know.

Just what I've heard, mmmkay?

I've a bridge for sale.

Um, what does "doobage" mean?

Mary-Jane, jay, grass, wacky terbacky

Like... Peter Parker's Mary Jane?

Peter Parker is a stoner.

Talkin' 'bout the China Grove !

~The Doobie (not Scoobie!) Brothers

Although... Scoobie, Shaggie= MAD munchies...

Pov, STU's just playing dumb.

Quote

Originally posted by Pov:
Talkin' 'bout the China Grove !

Video caption says "China groove"!

YouTubers... children of "Spellcheck Generation"

Quote

Originally posted by Quislet, Esq.:
Pov, STU's just playing dumb.

Stoner Stu.

Heard him talk.

Not true, you big liar!

He looks pretty when angry.

Red brings out his highlights.

Highlights are what Pov knows

Pov, could this be you?

That dude's got more hair.

Ohhhhh. Sorry 'bout that Pov.

Bald is beautiful! (Well, sometimes...)

Ilia from Trek movie = beautiful!

Would bald Lardy be beautiful?

Are all bald people beautiful?

Are all beautiful people bald?

Quick, Quis! Shave your head!

I buck such fashion trends.

I adhere to them fanatically.

So you're posting pantsless too?

^(Lucked out, 5 words accidentally

)

Pants are a fashion must.

Also: required, if in public.

Have you ever been "pantsed?"

And why isn't it "depantsed?"

Quote

Originally posted by Arm Fall Off Boy:
Have you ever been "pantsed?"

No, but I've been frisked!

Quote

Originally posted by Arm Fall Off Boy:
And why isn't it "depantsed?"

Extra syllable hard for pantsing-perps?

"Pantsing perps" is two words.

no reason for hyphenation there.

There is for thread guidelines

We're pretty flexible 'round here.

then when's the limbo tournament?

Last night -- didn't you hear?

Quote

Originally posted by Kent Shakespeare:
no reason for hyphenation there.

It's totally justified! "Pantsing-perps" are...

..."those who perpetrate pantsing." Dig?

Is there treasure buried below?

I nominate you to check.

Leave the room just once...

...and you'll be pantsing forever.

Alright--who needs a spanking?

Are you always about sex?

You associate spanking with sex?

I associate spanking with pain

Me too: Hurts sooooo good!

My mouse needs cleaning badly!

Does it need a spanking?

Cats

playing with mice.

Inconsistent use of smileys above.

For Lardy, smiley not "word"...

...but for Pov, it is.

": love :" is Pov's verb there.

not just a smiley tag.

But if ": confused :" also word...

...then Lardy has exceeded limit.

Well, Lardy can't count--remember?

Nah,

wasn't word there...

...but was up here^^, dig?

Don't understand your hippie lingo.

Then no grass for you!

Not bovine; don't eat grass.

Not hip to "grass"?

"weed"?

Hate weeds in my yard.

Perhaps you've heard of 'chronic'?

Chronic: always present or encountered

Such as chronic problem - Websters

Hey, whatever happened to Webster?

The character or the actor?

The one Michael Jackson liked

Didn't Michael Jackson like both?

I thought he liked girls

As friends. Prefers little boys.

Jackson really creeps me out!

Is he even still alive?

Didn't he just turn 50?

I thought he turned 65

No, he just looks it.

maybe he needs plastic surgery

I think that's the problem.

well whatever do you mean?

Jacko needs plastic surgery like . . .

. . . an addict needs another hit.

I'd like to hit him

...And eat his chimp, Bubbles?

Confusing your Legion Worlders Pov?

Shark Lad not Monkey Eater Lad

Jacko and Bubbles: Koons sculpture.

Jacko and Bubbles: The Passion

The Passion of the Chimp.

Gotta be cruelty to animals...

Which animal: Jacko or Bubbles?

Don't hurt poor innocent Bubbles

Bubbles: Made to be popped?

Was Bubbles male or female?

Bubbles is male (of course? )

Even has own Wiki page. :rolleyes:

female Bubbles was a DJ.

WPDH in Poughkeepsie. Years ago.

Listen at peril: DJ Riskay

Straight playas are so stupid

Don't hate, OK? Don't hate.

It's "Don't be hatin", playah.

Plenty of local variations, yo.

And what's "local" for you?

Mean streets of Stamford, beyotch!

Hollah and repreSENT, my 'Megger!

Gotta call my accountant first...

Your accountant?! Pleaze, 'Megger, PLEAZE!!!

Oy Vey, I'm so verklemft!

I don't speak Yiddish, Quis.

Quote

Originally posted by Pov:
You know I don't speak Yiddish.

I know you can't count.

Ooops... five posts, not six...

All better now. Good Edit.

But still quoted by Stu

Yes, but it's all good.

is this like a retcon?

It's EXACTLY like a retcon!

Does it involve Miss Andromeda?

Get current. It's Ms. Andromeda.

Does Andromeda Strain on toilet?

i dunno, is she toilet strained?

Maybe she needs more fiber.

Euell Gibbons for Grape Nuts

90% RDA Iron per serving.

Do you wanna KILL HER?!

What is the lead content?

D'oh! Lead, and not Iron...

My bad. truly, truly, truly.

destroyed your LSH geek credentials.

Does he even read Legion?

I just look at pictures.

The Macfarlane school of reading!

Did anyone read Infinity Inc.?

Yes. Why do you ask?

No; I read Infinity LLC.

Updated for legal liability concerns.

Even superheroes hate being sued.

except maybe for reed richards

That took me a second.

That would be outta sight!

That I got right away

Quis's senility comes and goes...

That's stretching it, isn't it?

Reed may be stretching it.

Reed may be stretching what?

Best left to the imagination.

Wanna read Reed/Ben slashfic?

Not particularly. Thanks, but no.

Is that what Pov's writing?

Don't judge me.

Lardy's buying.

And the customer's always right.

Reed: Let me stretch YOU...

Ben: Oh... my... sweet... PETUNIA!

Ain't had it THIS good...

...since I left Yancy Street!

MY turn!

It's CLOBBERIN TIME!!

Reed Ben slash so natural

Even moreso than Spock Kirk.

Less scary than Bush Cheney.

Cheney: C'mere my Little Dubya...

Wanna shoot you in face!

Bush: Okay, then we play...

"Hide SCUD in the stud"!

EEP! I'm making myself sick!

Okay, Pov wins "Most Perverted"!

Wow, impressive Pov. Also frightening.

Indeed. Scared myself right offline!

For a few hours, anyway.

I can't quit you, LW!

A Pov Legion World slash????????

Paraphrasing that Li'l Rhino Guy:

"I love everybody- you're next!"

The Greatest Love of All...

...is learning to love yourself!

Then Pov = World's Greatest Lover!

Apparently, he's very hands on...

And pantsless for easy access.

Even pantsless - not so easy

What is Quis implying there?

He wants Quis/Jake slash.

Pov: You guys push while

I give it some gas.

Quis: I'll push, all right!

Jake: He's pushing! He's pushing!

Pov: Why aren't we moving?

Who is this "Jake", Pov?

Our roadtrip "angel" in Arkansas.

From our trip to WWDallas.

Quis thought he was cute.

I know he was cute.

Worth getting in mud with!

Nothing ever came of that.

Jake, the mud, or both?

Is there any photographic documentation?

Just my testimony and Pov's

Will you swear to that?

On a stack of Bibles

how big of a stack?

They're Bibles. Only one's needed.

One stack or one Bible?

Doesn't matter to an atheist.

Maybe there's an Atheist's Bible.

A collection of blank pages.

otherwise called "notepad" or "sketchbook."

"Nowhere Man" is atheist hymn

I thought "Eleanor Rigby" was.

Maybe it's medley of both?

Only on high unholy days.

And on the other days...?

There are no other days.

What's the primary holiday, then?

National Lacking Empirical Evidence Day?

I had a sandwich today.

Was it an atheist sandwich?

It was a yummy sandwich.