Sam kneed me in the groin earlier tonight. think I'm gonna throw up.

I *snicker snicker* feel your *snicker* pain.

Fatherhood...and the pains taht go along with it.

Teachin' him to fight dirty.

Teaching him to WIN, you mean?

Teaching him to be Charlie Sheen?

Tiger blood!

That's just nuts!

I bet he had a ball!

on a related note ....

I am so hung over.

its 1038 pm and i never recovered from last night.

ughhh

It was not a good night. I tell ya, if I didn't love that kid more than anything else in the world... he'd be totin' a major asscuttin'. He's been told not to do that.

So far in this thread you've only had responses from males (as far as I can tell). Only Dev offered you any sympathy. Buddy, it ain't because we don't know your pain. We're just throwing the jokes to escape the memory.

Hope you're feelin' better.

yeah, last night the puppy managed to whack me in them, but I moved ah leeeetle to fast for him, and it was only a glancing blow.

To all you knew dads out there, invest in a cup. I ain't kiddin.

So.....yeah. Inflammed "cord" which was a hairs breath away from testicle tortion.


Ummmm.

Shoot me.

There really seems to be a lot going on with your testes

Used to be. Turned 50. Everything's goin to hell on me.

This was several years ago, when my oldest (now 16) was a toddler. I was sitting in a chair wearing sweatpants. He walked up to me, put his head face down in my lap (how sweet!) and bit down (not sweet!)

I screamed louder than I ever have in my life.

Not the only time someone tried to bite my dick off, but still...

I’m wincing with sympathy pains

My keyboard has crossed over itself and even the keystrokes are at a higher pitch.

By the way, it was about 35 years ago, during my ill-fated field hockey career, that I was nailed in the crotch by a teammate who swung her hockey stick backwards at just the wrong moment. I neither know nor care to imagine how fast the stick was going backwards when it collided with my forwards-moving junk.



She didn't mean it, of course. I'm not even sure you could plot out such a random mishap even if you wanted to. But I fell on the ground and saw stars. There may not technically be as many delicate exposed parts on the cis female anatomy in these situations, but then again we didn't wear cups. So for my money there were MORE than enough. To this day it's my fallback argument for couch potato-ism.