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#920961 - 01/22/17 04:12 AM Re: Legions of 7 Worlds (2nd story-arc of Retroboot Legion of Earth-7.5 is now under way. UPDATE: 7 chapters total posted as of Jan. 15, 2017.) [Re: Fanfic Lady]  
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here, more often than not
Mysa dealing with Mordru is always an interesting twist on their very dysfunctional relationship so I'm looking forward to find out who the mysterious woman is who overpowered her with her voice in her mind.

I assume the tomb opening isn't Mordru's?

Glorith entering the fight spells the end (pun not intended) of Mysa. interesting tat was so sneaky about it, her character is showing.

Blok having trouble fighting Shady was interesting as I'd have thought his silicon body would be just as tough on the inside, still it was great to read Tasmia's confidence and tactics - she really is a warrior at heart isn't she. Splendid!

And the destruction of Mysa's floating castle was really good, I didn't expect that so was really glad to read it.

The almost appearance of Mordru was fun, I never really cared for him as a villain - It was the fez that put me off - so I loved that he was ripped apart like that.

And, the picture - is that the singer Fiona? It looks like a rock singer one of my brothers had a huge crush on in the late 80s.

At last we meet one of Harmonia's sisters, and they obviously aren't close. I'm assuming that they are all descendants of Apokalips or New Genesis? If so, that's a very clever way to tie in Harmonias mysterious past with the Kirby Worlds.







Legion Worlds Four - awesome ongoing adventures set in the Retro-Boot, only in the Bits o' Legionnaire Business Forum.
#920963 - 01/22/17 04:19 AM Re: Legions of 7 Worlds (2nd story-arc of Retroboot Legion of Earth-7.5 is now under way. UPDATE: 7 chapters total posted as of Jan. 15, 2017.) [Re: Fanfic Lady]  
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Scary last post!

Again there's a wee bit of a jump here but it was fine.

Darkseid smiling? That doesn't bode well... and that it is Izaya's children responsible for his apparent victory is an ironic twist.

Harmonia and Glorith merged together, doesn't sound like fun really.

Mysa's guilt - true to her nature.

Mr Miracle and Orion to the rescue - Excellent!

I'm looking forward to more, more, more!
Tasmia and Marya's confusion - were they being manipulated?


Legion Worlds Four - awesome ongoing adventures set in the Retro-Boot, only in the Bits o' Legionnaire Business Forum.
#920964 - 01/22/17 04:22 AM Re: Legions of 7 Worlds (2nd story-arc of Retroboot Legion of Earth-7.5 is now under way. UPDATE: 7 chapters total posted as of Jan. 15, 2017.) [Re: Fanfic Lady]  
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Hello, Harbi, just jumping in & out of LW before I go deal with the inevitably expanding list of Sunday chores.

I feel I cannot thank you enough for your critiques, and even if they ended up being one-post-per-chapter because of your computer's aforementioned quirkiness, that's actually even better, because hopefully the abundances of new posts in this thread will attract at least a few curious Legion Worlders who might have missed this thread before.

Will come back sometime in the mid-late afternoon to read your last bunch of reviews and reply to them.

Thanks again, Harbi, you're the best!


Read LEGIONS OF 7 WORLDS in the Bits forum:

Retroboot (Earth-7.5) Arc 1 (COMPLETED)

Retroboot (Earth-7.5) Arc 2 (WORK IN PROGRESS)

"Don't look for role models, girls, BE the role model."

- Legion World member HARBINGER
#920969 - 01/22/17 04:32 AM Re: Legions of 7 Worlds (2nd story-arc of Retroboot Legion of Earth-7.5 is now under way. UPDATE: 7 chapters total posted as of Jan. 15, 2017.) [Re: Fanfic Lady]  
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My absolute pleasure, I'm also away to get stuck into chores so it was nice to have something pleasant to do first.


Legion Worlds Four - awesome ongoing adventures set in the Retro-Boot, only in the Bits o' Legionnaire Business Forum.
#920977 - 01/22/17 08:19 AM Re: Legions of 7 Worlds (2nd story-arc of Retroboot Legion of Earth-7.5 is now under way. UPDATE: 7 chapters total posted as of Jan. 15, 2017.) [Re: Harbinger]  
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Originally Posted by Harbinger
Wildfires predicament and feelings were well written, he's a softy underneath that armour and burning anti-energy.

Loved his banter with Gates too.


Thanks, yeah, they're two of my favorite characters to write dialogue for. And I agree with your succinct summary of Wildfire's personality.

Originally Posted by Harbinger
The fight was interesting, you mentioned how sexy the vampire was a couple of time which was a bit odd to me. Your descriptive skills are awesome and you excel at capturing the essence of subjects really well, but as descriptions go 'sexy' isn't the greatest as it's an entirely subjective point of view.


That's yet another great observation RE: writing technique from you. Thanks for that, and for the kind words about my skills at descriptions and economical characterizations. I vaguely recall that while I was writing the scenes with Bloody Mary, I might have originally intended the uses of the word "sexy" as placeholders until I could think of something better, and then I forgot to change any of them.

That proves, once and for all, that I really do have to get better at proofreading my stories before I post them.

Originally Posted by Harbinger
Those Furies don't really get on do they? The banter between them is pretty harsh, but I guess that's probably standard for Darkseid's minions. That said they follow orders and definitely get the job done. They are quite scary!


Extra special thanks for that, Harbi! During the writing process, I was a bit hesitant about some of the edgier touches, like Gillotina spouting racist idiocies, or Bernadeth pacifying Mad Harriet with the offer to burn alive any random homeless person from Armagetto, but then it became clear to me that if the Furies come from the nastiest planet in the galaxy, then OF COURSE they're going to have all manner of disturbing personality traits!

Another thing about their not getting on with each other: when I read Mark Paytress's excellent oral history of Siouxsie & the Banshees a few years ago, one thing that really stuck in my head was this bon mot: "It wasn't that we punks liked each other, it was that we hated everybody else even more!" LOL lol (Regrettably, I can't remember ATM whether it was Siouxsie Sioux or Steven Severin who said that.)

Originally Posted by Harbinger
So now the tem have lost their mode of instantaneous transport. This is definitely a well considered plan, as ultimately the three that have been taking so far are possibly the most dangerous.


Agreed to a point, though the team's "Wild Card", Yera, is arguably the most dangerous of them all. Writer Joe Kelly, in his underrated JLA run, repeatedly stressed that, as ridiculous as Plastic Man appears, he is also potentially the most powerful Leaguer, and Kelly proved it solidly when, at the end of the "Trial By Fire" arc...

...Plas proves to be the only credible living weapon to turn against J'onn J'onnz, the latter having gone very bad indeed!


Originally Posted by Harbinger
I wonder what Drake will find in Asia? It has been teased before that Dawny and Brin are close so will they have taken that a step further? I'm looking forward to finding out.


All I can say without spoiling anything is that no one is going to be more surprised than Drake himself. grin


Read LEGIONS OF 7 WORLDS in the Bits forum:

Retroboot (Earth-7.5) Arc 1 (COMPLETED)

Retroboot (Earth-7.5) Arc 2 (WORK IN PROGRESS)

"Don't look for role models, girls, BE the role model."

- Legion World member HARBINGER
#920980 - 01/22/17 08:37 AM Re: Legions of 7 Worlds (2nd story-arc of Retroboot Legion of Earth-7.5 is now under way. UPDATE: 7 chapters total posted as of Jan. 15, 2017.) [Re: Harbinger]  
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Originally Posted by Harbinger

Glorith entering the fight spells the end (pun not intended) of Mysa. interesting tat was so sneaky about it, her character is showing.


Oh, yes, it truly is. Alhough I had a bit of trouble at first connecting with Glorith's inner complexities, it all came together recently with crystal clarity. Glad to hear from you that it shows.

Originally Posted by Harbinger
Blok having trouble fighting Shady was interesting as I'd have thought his silicon body would be just as tough on the inside, still it was great to read Tasmia's confidence and tactics - she really is a warrior at heart isn't she. Splendid!


Thank you. And, yes indeed, no truer warrior woman has there even been in fiction than Tasmia, be they in sequential art or in prose.

Originally Posted by Harbinger
And the destruction of Mysa's floating castle was really good, I didn't expect that so was really glad to read it.


Thanks, and the most amazing thing about that scene is that I struggled for days to come up with a credible way to neutralize that particular threat, but in the end, the whole turn-Mysa's-powers-against-her was every bit as spur-of-the-moment in concept & execution as it was a fortuitous improvisation on Glorith's part!

Originally Posted by Harbinger
The almost appearance of Mordru was fun, I never really cared for him as a villain - It was the fez that put me off - so I loved that he was ripped apart like that.


Glad you liked it. And RE: the fez -- ROTFLMAO rotflmao

Originally Posted by Harbinger
And, the picture - is that the singer Fiona? It looks like a rock singer one of my brothers had a huge crush on in the late 80s.


Will PM you the identity of the woman in the piccies in a short while. Cramer said earlier that she'd rather not know who my visual reference points for characters are, as it means that she brings no preconceptions to the characters, so I'm respecting her wishes.

Good thing I've got a virtual encyclopedia of obscure & semi-obscure cult celebrities from the past several decades inside my own mind! lol

Originally Posted by Harbinger
At last we meet one of Harmonia's sisters, and they obviously aren't close. I'm assuming that they are all descendants of Apokalips or New Genesis? If so, that's a very clever way to tie in Harmonias mysterious past with the Kirby Worlds.


Thank you. I'd reveal the exact literary inspiration for the connections between Harmonia & New Genesis, but I think I should wait until after a couple more chapters, to prevent possible spoilers.


Read LEGIONS OF 7 WORLDS in the Bits forum:

Retroboot (Earth-7.5) Arc 1 (COMPLETED)

Retroboot (Earth-7.5) Arc 2 (WORK IN PROGRESS)

"Don't look for role models, girls, BE the role model."

- Legion World member HARBINGER
#920981 - 01/22/17 08:59 AM Re: Legions of 7 Worlds (2nd story-arc of Retroboot Legion of Earth-7.5 is now under way. UPDATE: 7 chapters total posted as of Jan. 15, 2017.) [Re: Harbinger]  
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Originally Posted by Harbinger
Scary last post!


Thank you. I actually went back a little while after I posted it, after I unexpectedly found -- during a Google search for the same person, but one that was otherwise unrelated to my stories -- a far superior picture to the original one I used, about which the less said the better, except that I realized very quickly that it was possibly making that crucial scene a bit cheesy and unintentionally comedic.

Originally Posted by Harbinger
Again there's a wee bit of a jump here but it was fine.


I appreciate that, and I'm relieved that you found it forgivable. I'd never tried a breakdown of space & time on that level before, and my main inspiration was the climax of Alan Moore & J.H. Willams III's "Promethea," only to discover just how difficult it was to translate into prose! Ah, well, a learning experience and all that...

Originally Posted by Harbirnger
Darkseid smiling? That doesn't bode well... and that it is Izaya's children responsible for his apparent victory is an ironic twist.


Thanks. One thing I figured out about Darkseid before I began writing this story is that, when writing him, less is definitely more. Kirby understood that, but it took me a while to get past the goofy and cheesy aspects of Kirby's original saga to appreciate that.

Oddly enough, among the post-Kirby interpreters who understood Darkseid like his creator did, I would have to name the people involved in the final two iterations of the Super Friends TV cartoon. One of my favorite things about the performances of Darkseid's voice actor from that time, the great Frank Welker, was how understated they are. Welker-as-Darkseid rarely talks above a deep rumble, like the sound of a volcano just before it erupts, so that on the rare occasions that Darkseid does completely lose his temper, the effect is chilling!

Originally Posted by Harbinger
Harmonia and Glorith merged together, doesn't sound like fun really.


LOL lol Most definitely not. And worse yet, the surviving Legionnaire who can separate them is...no, nope, I just can't reveal it, not even in a spoiler box. But no worries, because Chapter 8 should, Gods be willing, be posted within the next 48 hours. smile

Originally Posted by Harbinger
Mysa's guilt - true to her nature.


Coming from a fellow Bits creator who has written what I consider the best & the truest Mysa of all time, that is high praise indeed! Thank you, Harbi.

Originally Posted by Harbinger
Mr Miracle and Orion to the rescue - Excellent!


Thanks, and their two companions on their quest might thrill you even more!

Originally Posted by Harbinger
I'm looking forward to more, more, more!


48 hours or less. smile

Originally Posted by Harbinger
Tasmia and Marya's confusion - were they being manipulated?


Possibly. The true source of their confusion shall be revealed soon.


Read LEGIONS OF 7 WORLDS in the Bits forum:

Retroboot (Earth-7.5) Arc 1 (COMPLETED)

Retroboot (Earth-7.5) Arc 2 (WORK IN PROGRESS)

"Don't look for role models, girls, BE the role model."

- Legion World member HARBINGER
#921061 - 01/23/17 03:31 PM Legions of 7 Worlds (2nd story-arc of Retroboot Legion of Earth-7.5 is under way. UPDATE: Chapter 8 posted on Jan. 23, 2017.) [Re: Fanfic Lady]  
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THE 8th POST OF THE 2nd RETROBOOT LEGION (EARTH-7.5) STORY-ARC


3017: INSIDE THE ANOMALY CREATED BY GLORITH & HARMONIA, WHERE TIME STANDS STILL...FOR THE MOMENT...

"This has become INTOLERABLE!!" yelled Shadow Lass, feeling her pride shatter into pieces, as the last traces of her regal hauteur gave way to a little-girlish helplessness which she would have previously thought unthinkable of expressing in front of other sentients.  The hard truth was, she simply didn't care anymore.  As final proof, she fell to her knees (albeit with her usual effortless grace), and broke down into a crying fit.

"What does it matter whether we die at this instant, or two hours from now, or two days from now?" she said between sobs. "At this point, I would prefer to die now.  Anything other than this hellish state of nothingness, I would welcome!!"

Her three companions -- Dragonwing, Blok, and Mysa -- could seemingly do little but nod in sympathetic resignation.  No response came from the Glorith/Harmonia gestalt, as they seemingly had to remain inert to continue forestalling the all-consuming universal entropy brought on by the rise to omnipotence of Harmonia's mad, utterly nihilistic half-sister, Sonya.

To Shadow Lass's surprise, it was Mysa who became the first to get close to her and make an effort at comforting her.  How ironic, she thought, given that only a short while ago, Mysa had been Shadow Lass's quarry, with the Talokian intending to dominate the troubled, unstable mage and force her to revive Harmonia and extract a confession from the enigmatic elemental of the true agenda behind her schemes and manipulations.

"Know this, Tasmia," whispered Mysa tenderly, "and I do hope it brings you even the slightest measure of relief -- whatever comes next, you shall not face it alone.  For we are, once and for always...Legion!!"

"Then you do forgive my awful words and actions?" asked Tasmia as she choked back more tears.

"Of course I do." replied Mysa, before turning her head to face Blok and raising her voice slightly. "But now I must know...do YOU forgive ME, Blok, for my TRULY AWFUL treatment of you, that no friend should ever visit upon another friend?"

"Yes, I forgive you, Mysa," said Blok evenly, "for do we not, each and every one of us sentient beings, possess an equal capacity for awfulness?"

"This is all very well," stated Tasmia, sounding more like her usual self, "but it is this I must know: Is there anything...anything at all we may do that would resolve our...unfortunate is not a strong enough word for it...situation??"

"Perhaps." answered Mysa, who then paused before elaborating. "But whatever it may be, I regret to say that I shall not be destined to bring it about.  Sonya stole all of my powers...and Mordru's as well.  All of my spells, all of my incantations, every last bit of magical knowledge...gone!!  I am truly an empty shell of a sentient being."

"By all the ancestors!!" gasped Tasmia. "How, then, do you find the will to go on??"

"The trick is to keep breathing." blurted Marya, a remark which may have been intended as purely facetious, or possibly have more going on below the surface than even Marya herself realized.

"You speak the truth." said Mysa, facing Marya with a warm, sincere smile.

"I do??" asked Marya. "Oh, I mean, yeah, of course I do!!"

"If there is any hope left for us to survive beyond this uncertain half-existence, it lies in you."

"Uh...but all I do is breathe fire and bring the snark."

"You also have an emotional connection to our potential saviors, Glorith & Harmonia.  Despite my complete depletion of magical wisdom, I sense on a purely intuitive level that you must reach out to them, and bring them back to the mundane realms of reality as we know it."

"B-b-but...how?"

"Physical contact, simple as that.  Walk over to their gestalt form, press the palm of your hand against it, and do not remove your hand no matter the repercussions."

"Um...one other little problem...if I undo their gestalt, won't I essentially be killing us all?"

Mysa paused before replying, plainly and succinctly, "That is a risk we must take."

"Do it, Marya," pleaded Tasmia with renewed vulnerability, "if not for yourself, then...for the rest of us.  Please."

Marya quietly walked over towards the gestalt until it was within her reach.  She tentatively opened her hand and began moving it closer, hesitating just long enough to say, "Here goes nothing."  She then closed her eyes and pressed her palm against the gestalt.

*****************

If Marya had thought that some of her previous voyages through oddball dimensions were like something out of a bad drug trip, none of them outdid the queasy weirdness of this kaleidoscopic place where she had just been transported.  Laws of physics appeared to be non-existent, and the chances of a moving object either passing through her or bumping into her seemed to be completely random.  Then there were the red skies, whose rather murky and muddy-looking tones were made even more disturbing by the clouds, which tended to resemble nothing less than ribbons of blood spreading across a dirty pond, changing shape by the nano-second until Marya felt like she was going to vomit.

But while Marya may have been many things, a quitter was not one of them.  She bit her lip, closed her eyes, and clenched her fists, until she could feel a solid sense of balance, both inner and outer, returning to her at last.  And once she found her speaking voice, she shouted with all her might to the four winds, or whatever passed for them in this nightmarish realm.

"Harmonia?  Glorith?  Are you in here somewhere?  Glorith?  GLO??"

For half a second, she felt as though she would lose her sense of balance again, dooming the entire universe because she didn't have what it took to save the day, and never had.  Then, another voice rang out, and Marya thanked the Gods that it was the exact one she'd been hoping to hear.

"Marya, you know very well how furious it makes me when you address me as 'Glo'!!"

"Well, how else was I supposed to get your attention, huh??"

"Girls, girls, now is not the time for that." scolded the even-more unmistakable voice of Harmonia.

"For once," replied Marya, "we agree on something, Harmonia."

"I should hope so.  Now then, I believe I speak for both myself and Glorith when I say that you have our boundless gratitude for reaching out to us as bravely as you did just now."

"Oh, wow...um...I mean, you're welcome."

"It is all too easy to give into the temptation of detaching oneself from mundane reality, and allow the full ascension to take place." admitted Glorith.

"Wrong, my dear," said Harmonia, much to Glorith's chagrin, "there are no ascensions, much less descents, only a full, single, perfect circle."

"Oh, spare me!" snapped Marya. "You've just reminded me why you get on my nerves all the time!  I mean, come ON, Harmonia, the universe could make its final slide into entropy any second now, and you're getting existential??"

To Marya's surprise, Harmonia's reply to her outburst did not sound the least bit angry. "Fair enough, child.  Sometimes even a goddess needs humbling, through a..."

"...a reality check!" interrupted Marya. "Yay me!  And you're welcome...again!  Now please, PLEASE set things back to normal before it's too late!"

"Of course, Marya.  But you must do your part as well, simply by continuing to talk while I guide Glorith through the necessary steps."

"Talk?  TALK?  Sprockin' hell, I'll give you talk!  Like, how the hell is it that you and the other gods ever let this kind of apocalyptic nass happen, if you really are so damn all-mighty?  And if you ARE that powerful, and you STILL screw up so bad, then what hope is there for the rest of us?  I mean, I stole the dragon-powers purely out of my instinct for self-preservation, but all they've done is make my life even more hellish than it already was...ahhh...AAHHH...AAAAAAAAAIIIIIEEEEEE!!  Now what the sprock is happening?  I feel as though I'm being shredded like a pile of raw pork.  Harmonia, is THIS your idea of 'fixing' things??  Sprock, what have I done to deserve...ah...AAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!!"

******************

"Marya!  Marya, it's me, Tasmia, snap out of it.  I SAID SNAP THE SPROCK OUT OF IT, ALREADY!"

When Marya's eyesight finally returned, confirming that she had been returned to the surface of the Sorcerors' World, that Mysa and Blok were standing near her, that they were no longer trapped within the anomaly, and that she was indeed being screamed at by her questionable choice of a role model, all Marya could give in return was a slurred but acutely saracstic, "That's what I love about you, Tasmia, you're always so gentle."

"Oh, bloody hell," snarled Tasmia, "if soft, spineless young creatures such as you are inheriting the universe, it might as well have finished self-destructing!"

But then, as Tasmia stood up and turned her back on Marya with the intention of walking away, she was genuinely startled by the raw, heart-stopping wail of pure anger coming from directly behind her.

"In case you forgot, I SPROCKING SAVED YOUR LIFE!  As well as the WHOLE UNIVERSE!  You're welcome...BITCH!!"

The Tasmia from before the recent end-of-all-that-is ordeal would most likely have struck back at Marya with equal venom, and perhaps even with physical violence.  But if there had been any doubt that the aforementioned ordeal had changed her profoundly, it now became all too clear when she could not even summon the willpower to finish gasping out a half-hearted, "How...dare...you?"

And then there came from Tasmia the tears, a veritable flood of them, punctuated by eardrum-shattering yowls and loud sobs of such visceral force they felt to Marya like short, sharp gusts of wind.

"Oh, Gods..." croaked the understandably sore-throated Marya, "I didn't mean it like that..."

"Yes, you did," came Blok's initially blunt reply in the very depths of his already low voice, which then turned oddly comforting for Marya after he added, "and you had every right to say what you said."

"Uh...thanks, big guy." rasped Marya, who felt even better a few seconds later, after she saw that she'd inspired the closest thing to a smile that Blok's literal stone-face could manage.

Now it was Mysa's turn to approach Marya.  First she gently placed her hand on Marya's shoulder, then she said softly, "Tasmia shall pull herself together before long.  If anything, it is best we give her space by putting a short amount of physical distance between us and her.  Come now, young one, you have more than earned some peace and quiet."

Marya now felt herself being warmly enveloped by a metaphorical blanket made of relief and joy.  Save the worrying for later, she told herself, the worries about getting off the planet, and about where Glorith & Harmonia had ended up, and about whether everything really had been restored to normal.  As Mysa had just told her, Marya had earned it.  More than earned it.

CONTINUED...


Read LEGIONS OF 7 WORLDS in the Bits forum:

Retroboot (Earth-7.5) Arc 1 (COMPLETED)

Retroboot (Earth-7.5) Arc 2 (WORK IN PROGRESS)

"Don't look for role models, girls, BE the role model."

- Legion World member HARBINGER
#921099 - 01/24/17 11:14 PM Re: Legions of 7 Worlds (2nd story-arc of Retroboot Legion of Earth-7.5 is under way. UPDATE: Chapter 8 posted on Jan. 23, 2017.) [Re: Fanfic Lady]  
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I have only just started reading this so I know I'm way behind lol...But I am enjoying it so far and curious to see where it will go! Highlights so far:

- your opening description of Dawnstar, Yera and Wildfire was a great cinematic visual
- Mr & Mrs Strange as sexy sci-fi adventurers
- Hawkgirl smacking down Byth...I wish Kendra on Legends of Tomorrow had been 1/10th as fierce!
- the "dogs returning to their vomit" line that I think Harbinger might have also mentioned was perfect smile


Read the alternate adventures of the Legion after Legion of Three Worlds!
postlo3w
#921100 - 01/24/17 11:39 PM Re: Legions of 7 Worlds (2nd story-arc of Retroboot Legion of Earth-7.5 is under way. UPDATE: Chapter 8 posted on Jan. 23, 2017.) [Re: razsolo]  
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Originally Posted by razsolo
I have only just started reading this so I know I'm way behind lol...But I am enjoying it so far and curious to see where it will go!


Thank you so much, Raz. And, as before, I will be taking next week off before completing the third, and final, bunch of post related to the very long current story-arc, so you and others will have plenty of time to catch up.


Originally Posted by razsolo
Highlights so far:

- your opening description of Dawnstar, Yera and Wildfire was a great cinematic visual
- Mr & Mrs Strange as sexy sci-fi adventurers
- Hawkgirl smacking down Byth...I wish Kendra on Legends of Tomorrow had been 1/10th as fierce!
- the "dogs returning to their vomit" line that I think Harbinger might have also mentioned was perfect smile


RE: The opening scene, thank you, and I'm hoping that Bits fanart contributor Drake might decide to draw it sometime this year.

RE: Adam & Alanna Strange, they're such genuine DC-SciFi icons, I felt they had to have a moment in the spotlight while the Legionnaires were still in the present day. And even though I retroactively decided that the Stranges are exclusive to Earth-7.7, there's no reason they couldn't have crossed over to help the heroines & heroes of Earth-7.5, so it all adds up.

RE: Kendra, I just love that character so much, and I'm glad to hear it shows. As for LoT, I don't watch much TV these days, but I did, by chance, see some screencaps recently while I was doing a Google Images search, and the first thing I thought was, "Bloody hell, who's that they've cast as Hawkgirl, Leona Lewis?" LOL lol

RE: Tasmia's summary of her feelings about the possibility of the Yakka-Mahor seizing power on Talok, thanks for the kind words. Although, without spoiling what's ahead, her outlook may or may not face some serious challenges in stories yet to be told.

Thanks again, Raz, I love seeing comments on my stories when I do my first Legion World log-in right after getting out of bed. smile


Read LEGIONS OF 7 WORLDS in the Bits forum:

Retroboot (Earth-7.5) Arc 1 (COMPLETED)

Retroboot (Earth-7.5) Arc 2 (WORK IN PROGRESS)

"Don't look for role models, girls, BE the role model."

- Legion World member HARBINGER
#921138 - 01/25/17 11:59 PM Re: Legions of 7 Worlds (2nd story-arc of Retroboot Legion of Earth-7.5 is under way. UPDATE: Chapter 9 posted on Jan. 26, 2017.) [Re: Fanfic Lady]  
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More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
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CHAPTER 9:

2017: INDIA, THE SHOLA FORESTS ON THE MOUNTAINSIDE OF THAT NATION'S SOUTHWESTERN REGION...

Like many taciturn loners, the Legionnaire Brin "Timber Wolf" Londo had always possessed an extraordinarily vivid inner life.  But his lack of social skills, and an equal lack of any creative talents -- either of which might have allowed him to share his inner life with other sentients -- had combined with all manner of abuse and self-abuse to his mind, body, and soul, to leave Brin a fundamentally decent man trapped in the body of a savage, almost lycanthropic, creature whose default form was humanoid but could turn monstrous without warning.

And while he was smart enough to know what a cliché it had long ago become for Western people to seek refuge in the natural beauty and spiritual openness of South Asia, and of India in particular, he also knew there had to be a grain of truth to the cliché, and, with modern urban life having become unbearable for any half-decent humans around the world, Brin felt the urge to find out for himself.

So he had jumped at the chance offered by Xi Chang, a Chinese-born college student based in America, who boldly approached both Brin and his friend and fellow Legionnaire Dawnstar -- she of the naturally-grown white wings and of a connection to nature running even deeper than Brin's -- requesting that they accompany her to India, and help her do research for her thesis.

To his relief and pleasure, Brin discovered that, even with India's major cities becoming as infernal as those anywhere else on Earth, and even with the list of extinct Indian flora & fauna getting longer every day, there still remained regions where he could feel at home, and feel something close to inner peace.

But, while only a split second ago, Dawnstar and Ms. Chang had been inspecting and communing with the local plant life, and Brin was effortlessly bonding with a full-grown Bengal Tiger, everything changed in the literal blink of an eye.

To Dawny & Ms. Chang, it appeared that only 20 seconds had passed between the younger woman suddenly beginning to quiver, then Dawny rushing to her aid, words being breathlessly exchanged and producing a shocked reaction in Dawny, and, finally the two of them rushing off together to inform Brin of what had transpired.  But to Brin's perceptions, this seemingly innocuous event unfolded in slow motion, and felt to him more like it took 20 minutes until his female companions finally reached him!!

This was truly unlike any sensation Brin had ever experienced before.  Even his dependency on the addictive Lotus Fruit several years earlier had never produced anything like this!  Colors had become a trillion times more vivid, while natural lights became far brighter and richer, and a sense that this was the darkest hour before the dawn of a new, more positive universe, all felt as if they were flowing through his veins.  There was only one word in Brin's educated-yet-only-average vocabulary for this feeling, and it was...

********************

3017: THE CAFETERIA IN THE LEGION HEADQUARTERS, ON THE PLANET MALTUS...

"HARMONIA!" cried out Querl Dox, the clatter of his dropped fork acting as an ironic response to his moment of emotional weakness.

Querl did not understand what had just occurred to him, nor did he want to, even if it did involve the woman who had seemingly been lost to him, Harmonia Li.  She had been the first woman he had felt the beginnings of affection for since...since that beautiful young humanoid blonde woman of immense physical strength, whose name now appeared lost even to the incredible memory within his remarkable mind!

Querl tried to force himself to believe that all of these thoughts were a waste of time and energy.  And yet, as hard as he tried to push them back into their metaphorical compartment, traces of these unwanted musings still managed to slip out and dominate his mind once again.

Desperate for escape, Querl looked down at the pluberry pie whose exquisite taste and texture he had been trying to lose himself in before his reverie was interrupted by that flood of illogical, irrational, yet undeniably sensual thoughts.

This was unacceptable, Querl screamed inside his own head, but while that assertion had, until now, always worked as a way to restore what he considered the proper order of his perceptions before, this time it seemed to not carry any conviction.

Now the question for Querl was, how could it be that the striving for scientific explanations, for the perfection of pure reason, for the order which he had been brought up to uphold and had done his level best to do so...how could it be that he felt it all unravelling into chaos, and that for the first time in his long life, he knew that, deep down, he actually welcomed the breakdown of order?

But, rather than ruminate on this any further, Querl chose at that moment to lift up the remains of the pie with his own bare hands, and messily feed his face with it.

****************

2017: THE MOUNTAINS OF SOUTHWEST INDIA...

"Harmonia?  Is that really you?" queried Brin with more emotion than Dawny had ever seen him express, as the winged Legionnaire intuited that he was even more surprised with himself than she was.

"In a...manner of...speaking." replied Ms. Chang hesitantly, as though she was not quite sure herself. "Wait, now I understand...I am inhabiting the body of one of my past selves!  Praised be the Genesis-Wave, my desperate gambit worked!"

"Will wonders never cease!" intruded a nasal voice marinated in sarcasm.

"DRAKE!" gasped Dawnstar.

"In the fles...no, the exo-suit...unfortunately." replied Wildfire, who had landed a few minutes earlier in another clearing of the forest, and walked towards his teammates and their enigmatic companion, all of whom he had spotted from having flown above them.

There followed a tense silence, until Drake piped up, with typical lack of tact, "What's with your eyes, Brin?  You back on the goofball-fruit habit?"

"Don't say such an awful thing!" snapped Dawny.

"I can answer for myself, Dawny." replied Brin. "It's good to see you, Drake, and I mean that in all sincerity.  As for my...condition, that's a long story, and even I don't completely understand it, but this wasn't brought on by any kind of physical stimulation, it just...happened!"

"You're high on life?" chuckled Drake.

"STOP!" cried Dawnstar. "Gods, Drake, can you ever rise above your...childish, jealous, paranoid..."

The argument was interrupted by a fairly soft-sounding explosive noise, followed by the sudden appearance before all four Legionnaires of a trans-dimensional portal.  But to Drake, it looked too much like the Boom Tube he'd seen Gates's kidnappers escape through the day before, and after a woman of towering Amazonian proportions emerged, Drake immediately went on guard.

She certainly seemed to fit the same weird mould as the villainesses Drake had previously encountered -- she was as beautiful-looking as she was imposing, with light-olive skin, and a hard-yet-strikingly-attractive face completely free of makeup; yet she arguably diminished her beauty by wearing her dark hair in a thick, rigid Mohawk.  Her clothes, on the other hand, were relatively casual -- sturdy black boots, a garish multi-colored T-shirt, and a sensible pair of black slacks with an electric-blue slash across the seams.

"She won't harm us, Drake, hold your fire." blurted Brin.

"What, are you telepathic now?  Should we change your codename to Saturn Wolf?"

"Brin has merely attained the highest level of perception." interjected Harmonia. "But I, too, can confirm that she means us no harm.  Isn't that right...Diana?"

This brought a softer, smiling expression to the stranger's face. "Indeed.  And how you have grown since last we met, middle-daughter of Izaya."

"Bunny!  Pancake!" spluttered Drake.

"What are you on about now?" asked Dawny wearily.

"Eh, just some silly internet meme.  Basically, I have no idea what any of you are talking about!"

"Then you and your companions must follow me, Eternal Wildfire." replied Diana, stepping halfway back into the portal. "Come now, let us tarry not."

"Cool beans." said Drake, sounding relaxed for the first time since his surprise arrival. "And...uh...did you just hint that I'm gonna live forever?"

"Ask my husband, he knows all.  You may address him as Lightray." was Diana's cryptic answer as the portal closed behind them.

CONTINUED...


Read LEGIONS OF 7 WORLDS in the Bits forum:

Retroboot (Earth-7.5) Arc 1 (COMPLETED)

Retroboot (Earth-7.5) Arc 2 (WORK IN PROGRESS)

"Don't look for role models, girls, BE the role model."

- Legion World member HARBINGER
#921309 - 01/29/17 08:35 AM Re: Legions of 7 Worlds (2nd story-arc of Retroboot Legion of Earth-7.5 is under way. UPDATE: Chapter 9 posted on Jan. 26, 2017.) [Re: Fanfic Lady]  
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More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
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Heads up --

Having only completed and post 2 chapters this past week to last week's 7, I've decided the best way to proceed is to wait until the remaining chapters, plus epilogues, are completed in their entirety, and then post them all at once.

Hopefully that will happen around February 6th or 7th, but I've learned that setting strict deadlines just does not work for me, at least as far as fan fictions go. And with each chapter getting more complex in terms of plot and themes than the one before it, inevitably each takes longer to write than the one before.

So I thank everyone following my Retroboot fics for their patience, and I hope you will find the story as a whole satisfying. In the meantime, feel free during the next several days to either read and comment on Chapters 8 & 9, or read and comment on all 9 chapters to date.


Read LEGIONS OF 7 WORLDS in the Bits forum:

Retroboot (Earth-7.5) Arc 1 (COMPLETED)

Retroboot (Earth-7.5) Arc 2 (WORK IN PROGRESS)

"Don't look for role models, girls, BE the role model."

- Legion World member HARBINGER
#921477 - 02/01/17 02:20 PM Re: Legions of 7 Worlds (2nd story-arc of Retroboot Legion of Earth-7.5 is under way. UPDATE: Chapter 9 posted on Jan. 26, 2017.) [Re: Fanfic Lady]  
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Fat Cramer Offline
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Café Cramer
Glad to see Tasmia's emotions normalizing, although she still seems out of control. Given what she's been through, it's not entirely surprising, but I'm also guessing she's under some external influence. I don't much like Tasmia as galactic bitch queen.

That was a good transition from Brin to Brainy shouting "Harmonia". And Harmonia is a very interesting link between our current time and the 31st century.

Is Brainy a secret emotional eater? Better watch that pluberry pie, kid, or you'll wind up like this:
[Linked Image]

Wildfire is so sour! Bitter personified. I like to see Dawnstar and Brin together, and maybe there's some higher purpose for Wildfire in the works?

I figure Harmonia might be a daughter of Izaya, given the context. Is Diana her sister, or another resident of New Genesis? Looking forward to Lightray!






Holy Cats of Egypt!
#921480 - 02/01/17 03:52 PM Re: Legions of 7 Worlds (2nd story-arc of Retroboot Legion of Earth-7.5 is under way. UPDATE: Chapter 9 posted on Jan. 26, 2017.) [Re: Fanfic Lady]  
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More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
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More Polyanna than Poison Ivy

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Thanks for the thoughtful feedback, Cramer. Thanks, too, for that funny image of middle-aged Querl with the paunch and the pipe, just like he looked in the Silver Age Adult Legion story, only more cartoony. I remember back when a bunch of us were re-reading the corresponding volume of Legion Archives (I think it was number 6, someone mused that Brainy might have had something more outre in his pipe than tobacco. Uh...munchies, anyone? LOL lol Now the best part -- none of the above was in my conscious thoughts when I was writing that scene! It's great how often things just come together organically.

RE: Tasmia, it feels to me that she, like Querl, is undergoing a profound spiritual and philosophical upheaval. I'll admit I didn't enjoy writing her as being so rude to Marya, but ultimately I felt it was time that Tasmia heard the unvarnished truth about her attitude from one of the few people she halfway respects. And, FTR, that scene was the last piece of the metaphorical puzzle where I finally understood just what it is that makes Marya tick. I'd known all along that she had potential, but that scene washed away any lingering traces of doubt on my part.

Wildfire...is what he is. He's a lot like another favorite male DCU character of mine, Ollie Queen, whom I have already written in a tragicomic confrontation scene between him and his ex-protégé Roy Harper that will be in the first "Those 70s Titans" story that's coming up. Both Drake and Ollie can be absolutely horrible -- and, as you pointed out, bitter -- sentients, yes, but they always believe in everything they do and say (for better and for worse), and I like to think they both have the potential for positive changes within them...in the (very) long run.

As for Diana, I'll put it the best way I can without spoiling too much: she's not Harmonia's sister, but they are both of New Genesis, and they became firm friends after they met during one of Harmonia's previous incarnations -- back when humanity had its post-1960s encounter with the New Gods of both New Genesis and Apokolips.

And that, I think, is the perfect segue to an announcement I had already been planning to make in this thread -- while we will see fleeting flashbacks to the backstory of the New Gods of E-7.5 in this particular story, the whole thing became so much richer and more vivid and more vital than I'd originally thought it would, that I decided it *demands* to be told in more detail. And so my take on the New Gods will *definitely* be getting its own thread within the next few weeks, and while I'll probably have to tell a fair portion of their story as dry outlines, be assured there will also be full-bodied story-arcs as well.

Finally, I'm very glad you sound particularly intrigued about my take on Lightray, because I do believe that I have taken him in a wholly unexpected direction, utterly unlike anyone's previous interpretation of him, while still staying true to the essence of the character as conceived by Jack Kirby.


Read LEGIONS OF 7 WORLDS in the Bits forum:

Retroboot (Earth-7.5) Arc 1 (COMPLETED)

Retroboot (Earth-7.5) Arc 2 (WORK IN PROGRESS)

"Don't look for role models, girls, BE the role model."

- Legion World member HARBINGER
#921487 - 02/01/17 11:41 PM Re: Legions of 7 Worlds (2nd story-arc of Retroboot Legion of Earth-7.5 is under way. UPDATE: Chapter 9 posted on Jan. 26, 2017.) [Re: Fanfic Lady]  
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Fat Cramer Offline
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Café Cramer
I forgot to mention how well Marya comes across as a real, authentic teenager. Wants to do good, is surprised by her own successes, also wants desperately to fit in with the A-team (whoever she may perceive that to be at the moment) and full of explosive emotions, from highs to lows. Not that I wouldn't find her difficult and challenging to live with...


Holy Cats of Egypt!
#921716 - 02/07/17 11:34 AM Re: Legions of 7 Worlds (2nd story-arc of Retroboot Legion of Earth-7.5 is under way. UPDATE: Chapter 9 posted on Jan. 26, 2017.) [Re: Fat Cramer]  
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More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
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Originally Posted by Fat Cramer
I forgot to mention how well Marya comes across as a real, authentic teenager. Wants to do good, is surprised by her own successes, also wants desperately to fit in with the A-team (whoever she may perceive that to be at the moment) and full of explosive emotions, from highs to lows. Not that I wouldn't find her difficult and challenging to live with...


Thank you, FC. Reading what you wrote there means a lot to me, because writing teenagers convincingly is, I believe, one of THE biggest challenges to any writer trying to tell a Legion story. Oddly, it's also one of the least-discussed challenges, even though it goes all the way back to the Legion's adventure years. IMHO, even though Edmond Hamilton was, in terms of technique, a better writer than Jerry Siegel, I think Siegel had more insight into the adolescent mindset than Hamilton. Consider that Siegel was writing scripts for both Legion and Supergirl simultaneously, and helping his second wife, Joanie Kovacs, raise their then-teenage daughter, Laura. Some of that had to have found its way into Siegel's stories, because for all his flaws as a writer, chiefly involving tone and plot, I find a lot of heart, and a lot of sincere, and surprisingly unsentimental, sympathy for adolescents to Siegel's best stories from the Silver Age.


Read LEGIONS OF 7 WORLDS in the Bits forum:

Retroboot (Earth-7.5) Arc 1 (COMPLETED)

Retroboot (Earth-7.5) Arc 2 (WORK IN PROGRESS)

"Don't look for role models, girls, BE the role model."

- Legion World member HARBINGER
#921963 - 02/12/17 05:16 AM Re: Legions of 7 Worlds (2nd story-arc of Retroboot Legion of Earth-7.5 is under way. UPDATE: Chapter 10 posted on Feb. 12, 2017.) [Re: Fanfic Lady]  
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More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
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More Polyanna than Poison Ivy

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CHAPTER 10

2017: FROM ONE UTOPIAN GARDEN TO ANOTHER...

As he stepped through the portal, along with Dawny, Drake, Harmonia, and their guide, Diana, Brin could not decide whether he was more impressed with how this new garden -- whose location Diana had not yet revealed -- was even more of a paradise than the one in the forests of India, or with how quickly he was becoming accustomed to his newly enhanced senses and the way they elevated his perceptions. To have gone back at this point to normal sensory awareness would have been shocking, possibly even traumatic, on his every level of being. And yet, through it all, a voice whispered persistently in the back of Brin's mind, repeating the same question over and over: "Why ME?"

He did not regard himself as a good person. He was a loser at love, he could count his true friends on one hand, and he had hurt and maimed far too many of his past antagonists, even killed a few. And while Brin was rarely provoked into violence by anything other than a need to defend himself or the people he cared for, he still could not understand why the cosmos would suddenly adopt him as some kind of Chosen One.

At the same time, while Brin would never delude himself into thinking he could match wits with the intellectual likes of his teammate Brainiac 5, he was smart enough to gradually understand that there had to be some kind of as-yet-unrevealed higher purpose, and that there was nothing random or whimsical about the REAL way that the cosmos worked.

And hopefully, Diana's husband Lightray would fulfill the promises she had made on his behalf, and Brin, along with his teammates, would find the enlightment they needed in order to rescue the kidnapped Legionnaires, and then find a way to return to 3017.

Suddenly, Brin heard the soothing chirp of Dawnstar's unmistakably lovely voice: "This is so beautiful!" she exclaimed. "Thank the Haven that such an Edenic environment may still exist on here on Earth, even as 21st Century man appears determined to annihilate all such natural treasures..."

"Actually," chimed in a male voice whose soulful wisdom was evident from the first syllable, "you are not Earth anymore, Legionnaires. Yet I agree with what the young lady says, exponentially so, because of the way my community has managed to create and maintain this oasis, or as we refer to it, The Garden of Sanity, on a far, far worse planet than Earth."

"What planet could possibly be worse than Earth?" sneered Wildfire, though he regretted it as soon as he turned to face the older man who had spoken, and whose dignity and decency were outright charismatic.

It was now Harmonia's turn to educate her teammates. "In a word, Legionnaires: APOKOLIPS!"

"You mean," gasped Wildfire, "we're on THE planet Apokolips?"

"Indeed," replied Diana, "and I hope the gentleman before us will forgive me for not introducing his benevolent presence sooner. Timber Wolf, Dawnstar, Eternal Wildfire, you are granted the privilege of meeting the great HIMON."

"The privilege -- and the pleasure -- is mine." said Himon with genuine modesty. "It does my aging heart good to see that heroism shall yet endure a full ten centuries from today."

"Th-thank you, sir." stammered an atypically speechless Wildfire. "Just...just doing our job."

"Do please satisfy an old sentient's curiosity, and tell me how you know of Apokolips? The Source forbid that, in the future, this planet remains unchanged in both name and bearing."

"Short version..." replied Wildfire, "...a craggy-faced creep named Darkseid tried...WILL TRY...to create a whole galaxy, a whole UNIVERSE, of Apokolipses, around the year...uh...3012, I'm not really sure, but I think I'm close enough..."

"And I take it you and the other Legionnaires shall stop him?"

"Again, the short version...yes, although we don't manage to destroy him...not that we don't give it our best shot..."

"Ah, yes, exactly as is to be expected. Such is life." sighed Himon, though he sounded more enlightened about the nature of fate than resigned to it.

"If all you good people would excuse me for but a brief moment," interjected Diana, "I shall go and confirm whether my husband Lightray has finished preparing for your audience with him."

"Thank you. That would be great." replied Timber Wolf awkwardly, as he began to feel the slightest hint that his enhanced senses might be starting to overwhelm him.

*************

3017: PLANET MALTUS, THE RESIDENTIAL WING OF LEGION HEADQUARTERS...

Does this happen with all couples after they've been together for a long time?  This strange phenomena where each of the two partners starts becoming more like the other?

That was what Salu Digby was asking herself as she awaited the return of Ayla, who had, seemingly on a whim, taken out a generous chunk of credits from their bank account, then whisked herself off to Ventura, of all places!  What could Ayla possibly have headed to that global den of iniquity for? All she would tell Salu before leaving was that there was a big surprise in store.

In all the years that Salu had known Ayla, initially as a teammate and later as her longtime partner, she'd known the coltish, strawberry-blonde beauty to be spontaneous and feisty, but never impulsive or reckless...or, for that matter, violent, as Ayla had been a short time ago after being grossly insulted by Dragonwing.

"I'm starting to see how you could have passed for your brother Garth back in the day..." the exotic teenager had said to Ayla said before twisting the metaphorical knife by adding, "...if anything, he's prettier than you!"

Gross is actually too kind a word for such disrespect from a brat like that, thought Salu with 20/20 hindsight. But that didn't change the fact that Ayla had thrown the first punch. That's just not Ayla, thought Salu, that's...the kind of thing I WOULD DO!

Maybe, she ruminated, I don't know Ayla like I thought I did, and, for that matter, I probably don't even know myself the way I thought I did! Gods know, the suburbs of Imsk have never been known for producing deep thinkers! Salu now thanked those same Gods that she had finally taken advice from Ayla and other friendly parties and started seeing a psychotherapist...

Unexpectedly, a sudden loud knock on the door startled Salu. There followed a husky voice which she immediately recognized.

"Ohhh, Sally, SALL-EE SWEETIE, get ready for your surprise and open up..."

"Sally" was Ayla's recently coined term of endearment for Salu, who would never have abided anyone else calling her such a...girly...nickname. Ah, well, better Sally than "Vi," which had always reminded Salu of supposedly-funny parodies of Central European accents...

Salu's nervous musings came to a screeching halt as she opened the door to behold the jaw-dropping sight before her.

"TA-DAH!"

With her typical boldness, as well as her flair for the dramatic open-arms gesture, Ayla announced herself and her new look to Salu: Ayla, the seemingly eternal tomboy, was now flaunting her...far-less-mannish than it had previously appeared...figure, clad as she was in an exquisitely designed turquoise dress and cream-colored stiletto-heeled shoes, all topped off by a combination of fully-convincing hair extensions and golden highlights, which had transformed her once-sensibly-short hairdo into a tidal wave of luscious locks, fit for a storybook princess! Salu also noted how tasteful Ayla's makeup was, nothing grotesque nor overdone about it, as well as the judiciously-selected-and-placed jewelry...Good Gracious, thought Salu, is that necklace made of REAL PEARLS?

"My...my Gods, Ayla, I don't know what to say."

"Maybe you could say...ohh...that I'm GORGEOUS?"

"Of course you are, sugar-cub!  You look beautiful, b...buh..."

"But WHAT?"

"I just don't understand why...I mean, it's a sweet gesture and all, but it's a little...um...excessive.  What I'm trying to say is, even when I was in my girly-girl phase, I never went THIS FAR.  And you know I love you no matter what you look like.  So, please, don't take it like I disapprove, just give me some idea of why..."

Suddenly, Salu remembered, "...oh, my Gods...it was the fight with Dragonwing, wasn't it?"

And with that inquiry from her partner, Ayla's artfully lined & mascara-ed eyes cast themselves downward, her grin mutated into a pout, and she shuffled awkwardly -- Salu was prepared to catch her if the heels caused her to fall -- into their living quarters.

"No one had said anything like that to me since...Junior Prom night," sighed Ayla, though with a surprising lack of bathetic drama, "and so I guess I just needed some reassurance...that I really do look like a girl."

"Oh, Gods, I'm so sorry..." gasped Salu with a deep tenderness she reserved exclusively for Ayla.

"I've never told anyone about Junior Prom night until now.  And I'm honestly not even sure I should tell you."

"I'm here, Ayla, I'm listening."

"What you need to understand, is that the part of Winath where my brothers and I grew up was nothing like the region where Garth has his farm today.  We lived in the hickest of all the hick-towns, the least accessible and the most backward in that area.  So the attitudes there were decades behind...not just the rest of the planet, but the rest of the whole galaxy, really.  I mean, sprock, no one even TOLD me I was a girl until my chest swelled...even though my boobs ended up being tiny, they still freaked me out...and then I got my first visit from Our Monthly Friend...oh, Gods..."

"But didn't your Mom...?"

Now Ayla was clearly biting back tears, making Salu regret that she had broached a sensitive subject. "I can't talk about her right now, sorry!  What I'll say about her is that she'd have been happy if all three of her kids had been boys.  But I was what I was, and she used that as an excuse to treat me like..."

Ayla paused for a brief sniffle. "I'm okay now, I've gotta finish telling you...so Junior Prom was coming, and she was going out of her way to avoid me, spending even more time than usual at the local bars, and snuggling up to the kind of rednecks that even most other rednecks are scared of..."

"B-but...your Dad...?"

"He knew, even though he never said it, but I could tell that he sprocking well knew!  But what could he do?  If he'd actually confronted any one of those booze-monsters, he'd have been shot, and my brothers and I would've been fatherless."

"G-G-Gods, I just..."

"Anyhow, I was going to go to Junior Prom whether my mother...she...helped me or not!  So I bought the cheapest dress I could find, and I "borrowed" my moth...her...makeup and applied it myself...did you ever read those great 20th Century children's books, the "Pippi Longstocking" series?"

"They were my favorites in grade school, yes."

"So I thought, if Pippi can do it, then so can I.  Well...I get to the party, having had to walk the whole way there, and it's a hot and humid night, so I'm sweating like a sprocking pig...and when I walk in, the other girls are all like..."Oh, look, ladies, I didn't know the rodeo was in town, but it looks like our party's been crashed by one of the clowns," and, "Just goes to show that even IT doesn't know if IT'S a girl or a boy," and, worst of all, "Come on, Ranzz, lift up that granny-dress and show us what you really are, we're dying to know."

"What did you say?  What did...you...do?"

"Nothing.  As hurt and angry as I was, I'm not sure I could have actually gone through with something as vicious as what was crossing my mind at that moment to do with my lightning powers.  My Dad didn't raise me to commit such acts.  He wasn't perfect, but...he did have morals."

"You just ran back outside, then?"

"Yeah...and ran into the nearby forest, found a clearing, and just fell on my knees and cried.  And cried and cried and cried...heh, I remember now, at one point I looked down at my hands and they were all covered in makeup mixed with tears, it looked like one of those stupid modern-art paintings that come back in style every 30 years...heh, heh..."

"Ayla, I have to say, what you've shared with me so bravely just now was a trillion times worse than anything that ever happened to me growing up, and I'm sorry that happened..."

"Thank you."

"...but I also have to say -- SPROCK THAT STUPID LIVING-BLOWTORCH-GIRL AND HER BIG MOUTH!"

"Heh.  I know, right?  To be honest...I don't think Marya's usually that bad, but Tasmia The Princess of Darkness brings out the worst in that kid, just like she does in EVERYBODY..."

"If you want us to leave the team, I'll understand."

"No, we have to clear Imra's name, and find out why she did what she did.  I just know it was some kind of outside influence."

"But...the Science Police are already looking into..."

"They're just paying lip service!  Ever since Titan exploded and the survivors were relocated across the solar system, everybody hates Titanians, even Imra!"

"Well, I don't..."

"You know I'm right, Sally.  And...this is something else I never admitted, but...Imra's the sister I never had.  Not only that, but I've also seen the warm, nurturing side that she hides from everyone except Garth and the kids...and me.  Imra's the kind of Mama Bear figure I always wanted...NEEDED!  Sorry, there I go again..."

"No need to apologize, my sweet honey-locks.  Okay, then, let's go tell Brainy we've gotta get this team's priorities in order...oh, I almost forgot, do you want to change into something more comfortable first...?"

"Gods, no, I spent a ton of credits on this makeover, and if I can't flaunt it in that uptight genius's green poker-face, then it was all a waste!  Heh."

What Ayla had just said caused Salu to break out in hearty laughter, followed by a metaphorical light bulb going off in her mind.

"You're absolutely right, and you've given me an idea! Let's have some fun with Brainy, what do you say?"

"Ohh, the possibilities...but tell me what you have in mind first!"

Giggling and whispering like mischevious schoolgirls, the happy couple disappeared down the corridor leading towards the Mission Monitor Board, where Brainy was on duty.

***********

2017:

THE GARDEN OF SANITY ON APOKOLIPS...

Brin was greatly relieved when he saw Diana walk back outside from the modest building she had been inside of, for what had seemed to him like an eternity. While Wildfire was turning their confrontation-with-Darkseid-to-come into a cosmic tall-tale for Himon, and Dawnstar & Harmonia chatted softly as they communed with the floral denizens of the Garden, Brin had been struggling to stop himself from twitching and fidgeting as the seemingly-infinite knowledge he had been tasked, by some kind of higher power, with processing as quickly as possible, continued to run riot at it crashed against his emotional and intellectual limitations. What kind of sadistic Gods, wondered Brin, would do this to a mortal man?

"My husband shall receive all four of you Legionnaires right now." announced Diana. "Follow me."

***************

3017:

MISSION MONITOR BOARD, AT LEGION HEADQUARTERS, ON MALTUS...

"Yes, Vi, what is it NOW?" groused Brainiac 5 without even deigning to turn around to face Salu, even after he'd heard her approaching footsteps, followed by her calling his name.

She could tell that he was even more distraught than before about the Tasmia-instigated disappearance of almost everybody on the team he had co-founded with Harmonia. Salu also surmised that he was most likely working on some crackpot invention which was intended locate the missing Legionnaires, but would probably just make the whole situation even worse. "Um...guess what, Brainy, we have a client! Our first client -- isn't that awesome?"

"My cup runneth over!" replied Brainy with an extra-large helping of his customary sarcasm. "Do tell me, Vi, what could possibly justify me setting aside this project and taking on a new mission...WHEN THERE'S ONLY THREE OF US LEFT? And where the sprock IS Ayla, anyway?"

"She's...uh...occupied. But as for our client, I'll have you know she's the wife of...um...one of the wealthiest tycoons in the galaxy, and...and...if we find her husband, she'll talk him into buying out Reep's stake in our team and QUADRUPLE the operating budget we already have."

"Well, now...perhaps this lady does merit our undivided attention after all. Show her in."

"On it, Brainy."

A minute later, amid the loud tapping of stiletto heels against the floor, Salu brought in Ayla, she whose expensive makeover had now unexpectedly become a convenient disguise. Salu marveled at how the deer-in-the-headlights expression on Brainy's face clearly showed that he had bought the charade hook, line, and sinker. Then she marveled even more at what a natural actress Ayla was proving to be, all chokes and sobs and hand-wringing...and how fluently feminine Ayla's body language had suddenly become as she sashayed over to an obviously bewitched Brainy (he always did have a thing for blondes.) What my partner's doing right now, thought Salu, that never, ever came so easily to me back when I still cared about "playing the role of the 'girl'." That's my Ayla, she just never stops surprising me!

And when Ayla spoke, in a voice reminiscent of corny old black & white 20th Century detective movies, Salu found herself putting both hands over her mouth, desperate to stifle her giggling.

"Ohhhh, good sir," said Ayla, combining a whisper with a perfectly-faked sob, "Miss Digby tells me you are a genius. And so I beg you..." Ayla now titled her head and put her hand to her forehead, "...PLEASE help rescue my dear, DEAR husband!"

Before Brainy could reply, Ayla seamlessly shifted into Seductress Mode, striking the kind of sultry pose Salu felt SHE'D never be able to pull off convincingly and coyly intoning, "I'll make it well worth your while." Now it was harder than ever for Salu to keep herself from exploding into laughter!

Ayla somehow managed to stand perfectly still, in what would have been a physically painful pose for any woman to attempt, as she paused to allow Brainy to respond. When it finally happened, the Coluan was unmistakably flustered and awkward.

"Um...your ladyship...that is...there is no need to...we do our job and expect nothing extra in...no, who am I fooling? Of course I'll accept whatever...additional enticements...you are offering..."

"Then take my hand." replied Ayla coquettishly. "Take my dainty, delicate little woman-hand in your big, virile, STRONG MAN-HAND!"

Brainy did not hesitate to do just as Ayla commanded. Then, in the split second between him noticing that the skin of her palm felt rougher than expected, and him glancing at her hand to see it was not nearly as dainty as she'd described, Brainy was shaken to the core of his being by a mild, but still painful, jolt of electricity coursing through his entire body.

Once he'd regained his bearings, he looked at the supposed seductress right in the eye, and the recognition finally registered within his supposedly brilliant mind!

"AYLA?"

"Surprise, surprise!" she hissed at him, grinning ear-to-ear and still as playful as before, but no longer affecting hyper-femininity. Salu now unleashed peals of long, loud, hearty laughter, and Ayla instantly followed suit as she gracefully moved away from Brainy and to the side of her delighted partner.

"What, just WHAT, are you two CRAZY HARPIES wasting my time for, with such childish trickery?"

"Ohh, the look on your FACE!" guffawed a near-breathless Ayla.

"Lighten up, Querl." said a more-subdued but still-cheerful Salu. "We ALL have to lighten up sometimes!"

What upset Brainiac 5 the most was not that he had been played for a fool, but that, deep down, he knew Salu was right! As the two playful prankster-esses continued to have a good laugh at his expense, Brainiac 5 turned his back on them, partly to get back to his work...and partly to hide the smirk they had managed to put on his face.

CONTINUED...



Read LEGIONS OF 7 WORLDS in the Bits forum:

Retroboot (Earth-7.5) Arc 1 (COMPLETED)

Retroboot (Earth-7.5) Arc 2 (WORK IN PROGRESS)

"Don't look for role models, girls, BE the role model."

- Legion World member HARBINGER
#921991 - 02/13/17 04:14 AM Re: Legions of 7 Worlds (2nd story-arc of Retroboot Legion of Earth-7.5 is under way. UPDATE: Chapter 11 posted on Feb. 13, 2017.) [Re: Fanfic Lady]  
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 17,872
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More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
Fanfic Lady  Offline
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy

Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 17,872
CHAPTER 11

2017:

THE TOWER OF TORMENTS, ON APOKOLIPS...

"I shall break your spirit yet, you six-legged lump of genetic offal!" exclaimed a frustrated DeSaad to the Legionnaire named Gates, DeSaad's current torture subject, in his most piercing voice.

Gates, for his part, remained unfazed as he replied in his usual flippant Bill-Murray-esque tone, "I'm impressed, DeSaad. You're a poet and you don't know it!"

"BAH!" screamed DeSaad, throwing an expensive bit of torture tech against the chamber's wall in his impotent rage. And beneath the rage lay the sheer terror, within each and every one of Darkseid's subjects, that this would be the absolute worst possible time for having to report his progress on his current task...

Suddenly, DeSaad's worst fear appeared to have come true when he heard his master's deeper-than-deep voice, bellowing at such a volume that the very structure of the Tower trembled:

"To me, DeSaad! NOW!"

Within less than two minutes, a terrified DeSaad found himself prostrated before Darkseid, prepared to beg for his liege's mercy for the umpteenth time, until the next words directed by Darkseid towards him proved to actually be a source of relief!

"The conversion of the three Legionnaire prisoners is now, by my official decree, your secondary concern, DeSaad!" growled the tall red-eyed, grey-skinned cosmic-demon-overlord at the cringing, crimson-cowled demigod kneeling before him.

"Thank y...ahem...but of course, master! How may I best serve you now?"

"There is treachery amiss, most loyal of my subjects. Treachery on a cosmic scale. For I cannot escape the infuriatingly vague sensation of having, at long last, successfully computed the Anti-Life equation -- with the expected, and all-consuming, entropic repercussions -- only for space and time to have been realigned back to their usual uncertain level of stability...by a mysterious outside party of power equal to, if not greater than, mine. Such effrontery I can NOT abide! Thus, I now command you to assist me in solving this conundrum which lays before us, while your sister shall take your place in the torture chambers, and continue the conversion process herself, while her fellow Furies shall assemble for a crucial battle yet to come. Understood?"

"Oh, my. Do forgive my forthrightness, sire, but my sister Bernadeth shall be most unhappy at this turn of events! Earlier, she confided in me that her blazing battle-lust had been stoked even further by the reports from our spies on New Genesis of..."

"Nonsense, DeSaad." replied Darkseid with a calm-before-the-storm off-handedness. "Better that your sister should channel her aggression in a more productive manner than simply being cannon fodder in the battlefield. Would you not agree?"

"As...as ever, my liege, your wisdom remains second only to The Source itself!"

"Indeed...and soon the Source shall be the one to be left behind by me."

"Yes, sire, and I shall be by your side as you take control of destiny itself."

"Very well, then. Begin the preliminary calculations while I go to address the Furies."

"Your wishes are, as ever, my commands, your lordship."

"Truer words never rolled more naturally off your fetid tongue, DeSaad. That will be all...for now."

*****************

2017:

ELSEWHERE ON APOKOLIPS, INSIDE LIGHTRAY & DIANA'S ABODE AT THE GARDEN OF SANITY...

Exactly as his recently acquired cosmic-awareness had told him to expect, the very first thing Timber Wolf noticed upon finally meeting Lightray and seeing Diana standing side-by-side with her husband, was how they appeared superficially to be complete & utter inversions of traditional gender-roles. Though the couple's individual presentations were equally garish -- the Mohawk-wearing, T-shirted, be-slacked, combat-boot-sporting, make-up-free Diana contrasting with Lightray's long, carefully-maintained orange-red hair, flowing-past-the-floor robe, and makeup so light as to be imperceptible to the average eye -- the specific color patterns of their clothing were unmistakable in what they signified. Diana's T-shirt was all blazing reds, deep purples, and pea-soup greens, while her pitch-black slacks were streaked with cobalt-blue thunderbolts; Lightray's robe was all
peachy oranges, creamy yellows, and warm pinks, which perfectly complimented the colors painted on his face as well as what appeared to be the natural shades of his hair color. In a word: Diana & Lightray appeared the very physical manifestation of the concept of...

"Harmony!" said Lightray unexpectedly, as if he had been listening in on Timber Wolf's thoughts. Before anyone could respond, Lightray was already on a roll. "That single word, Legionnaires, is the sum total of the purpose for bringing the seven of you from the 31st Century to the 21st Century."

Timber Wolf, and the two other Legionnaires who had never before met Lightray, were all equally impressed with his direct, unpretentious manner, and the lack of pseuderies or preciosities in his choice of words. Clearly, Lightray had long ago realized that even the most esoteric wisdom could be, and must be, made accessible to the average sentient, if the universe were to endure into the 3000s and beyond.

"I shall now tell you everything else you need to know, and only that. For sharing too much knowledge can be, in the final outcome, just as harmful as sharing too little. Now, then...there are eight of you Legionnaires in total, including the recently arrived Harmonia, seven of whom are currently present on this planet named Apokolips, four of you here in the safety on the Garden, the other three in far less salubrious surroundings -- and, yes, I am aware that you urgently ache to go and rescue those you call teammates and friends from Darkseid's clutches. But to attempt an assault now would result in all your deaths, thus dooming the universe irreparably."

In his head, Timber Wolf counted off exactly which eight Legionnaires Lightray was referring to -- the aforementioned Harmonia, Timber Wolf himself, Wildfire, and Dawnstar were the four in the Garden; Gates, Tellus, and Tyroc had been kidnapped by Darkseid's army of Female Furies as part of the overlord's typically inscrutable plans...and they all added up to seven...leaving only...of course, thought Timber Wolf, Chameleon Girl, most likely still on Earth and partying herself to an early grave.

And again, as if he was reading Timber Wolf's mind, Lightray now broached the subject of the one and only Legionnaire still-at-large.

"Your presently-absent teammate, Yera Allon, is the x-factor upon which the universe's fate shall be decided, though I sense she is not only unaware of this at the moment, but also in the full embrace of the most blissful form of ignorance."

***********

2017:

THE LIVING QUARTERS OF HAWKGIRL/KENDRA SAUNDERS, AT THE HALL OF JUSTICE, ON THE PLANET EARTH...

Ellie Goulding, "Love Me Like You Do"

As the song which had become The Bedroom Soundtrack of its time went into its final fade-out, the shapely form of Kendra Saunders shifted beneath the bedsheets, sitting up against the pillow which she had freshly propped up behind her, putting her hands behind her head, and letting out a deeply satisfied sigh.

She then looked over at the handsome man lying next to her. His soulful blue-eyed gaze had been fixated on the ceiling for the past few minutes, while he was catching his breath after an intimate display of passionate love. But now he turned around and looked directly into Kendra's eyes...
[Linked Image]

...and for a blissful but all-too-brief moment, she felt as though she might melt into a puddle of treacly goo, and that would have been perfectly fine with her.

But then, the spell was broken as soon as she saw him bring a cigarette up to his mouth.

"You WILL NOT smoke in my room!" she snapped firmly. "If you want to kill yourself slowly with the demon tobacco, that's your choice, but you won't do it in here!"

"Ahh, you're no fun anymore!" he replied wearily...but in a voice which sounded utterly feminine in both pitch and inflection.

"And if you're gonna keep wearing your guy-form, Yera, then you'll keep talking to me in your guy-voice. It just...creeps me out to hear your real voice coming out of...a dude."

"All my other lovers find it sexy, in a provocative way." replied Yera, still using her real voice.

"Well, I'm not your other lovers! So if you're gonna talk like a woman, then BE a woman, or get out of here!"

"Okay! Fine! How's this form work for you, then?"

click to enlarge

"Now that, I like! I remember crushing on the bald chick from Star Trek back in 6th grade..."

"Hmmm...perhaps, Kendra, you've never noticed a certain similarity between her and..."

click to enlarge

"Oh, God! Now she looks...YOU look like ME! That's the last straw! Get out of my room and out of my life -- NOW!"

"Your loss, Hawk-Chick. Or should I say, Chicken-Chick? Cluck-cluck-cluck, sweetheart."

"You keep this attitude up and I'll deck you, right in the face!"

"My, oh, my, Kendra, your man-side is really showing tonight. And, besides, even if you did hit me, my face would mend itself instantly."

"You should know, the way you told me you used to trade punches with Gim!"

"That hurt, Kendra. That really hurt."

"I'm glad! Now shut up and leave! And take your @#$%$% cocaine with you."

"But of course I will. After all, you wouldn't want to relapse and relive your high school daze, now would you, Kendra?"

"Get out, Yera! GET! OUT!"

"Your loss, babe."

"OUT!!"

***************

2017:

THE HIGHEST TOWER ON APOKOLIPS, WHERE VISIONS FROM THE SOURCE MAY BE VIEWED...

"Sordid! Filthy!" remarked Bernadeth of the Female Furies, all of whom were assembled before he whom they lived to serve, Darkseid, and all of whom had just finished playing voyeurs to the operatic bedroom antics of Chameleon Girl and Hawkgirl.

"Eh, it was tame!" countered Knockout with typical lack of tact. "That Hawkgirl, though...you all know that I go for guys, but she could change a girl's mind...ROWR!"

"HUSSY!" barked Bernadeth.

"OLD MAID!" snapped Knockout.

"Both of you, CEASE!" boomed Darkseid, his eyes aglow with the Omega Effect.

"My apologies, master." replied a sincerely contrite and fearful Bernadeth.

"Yeah, whatever...but I'm sorry, too, boss."

"As you should be. Now let us renew our focus on the task at hand. Knockout, you shall lead the team to...extend our invitation to the Durlan woman...and DO NOT forget, there is to be violence only as a last resort. It is CRUCIAL that she join us of her own free will!"

"Got it."

"You had better. Bloody Mary, you shall lead the team to prevent my two sons, Orion and Mister Miracle, respectively the blood of my blood and the betrayer of my trust, from reaching The Source, as I have been informed they current seek to achieve."

"It will be a pleasure, my liege!" replied a typically-effervescent Bloody Mary. "I shall be the one to finally seduce Mister Miracle and set him back on the path he is fated to walk."

"Bold words, Mary. As well they should be. And the rest of you are to stand by at battle stations, and intervene only if the expected attackers manage to overcome both the Parademon squad and the Kaliborg squad."

"Under whose command, sire?" inquired Bernadeth with great anticipation.

"Gillotina."

"WHAT?"

"Do not DARE show me even a HINT of disrespect for my commands, Bernadeth!"

"But, sire..."

"Your brother, DeSaad, is presently occupied with an unexpected matter of great urgency. Ergo, you shall, in his place, complete the conversions of the three prisoners."

"But..."

"DO AS I SAY!"

"Y-yes, milord."

"And should any one of you fail in your missions...you had best pray to The Source that your failure is a fatal one. That is all."

CONTINUED...


Read LEGIONS OF 7 WORLDS in the Bits forum:

Retroboot (Earth-7.5) Arc 1 (COMPLETED)

Retroboot (Earth-7.5) Arc 2 (WORK IN PROGRESS)

"Don't look for role models, girls, BE the role model."

- Legion World member HARBINGER
#922260 - 02/19/17 10:29 AM Re: Legions of 7 Worlds (2nd story-arc of Retroboot Legion of Earth-7.5 is under way. UPDATE: Chapter 11 posted on Feb. 13, 2017.) [Re: Fanfic Lady]  
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 17,872
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More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
Fanfic Lady  Offline
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy

Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 17,872
Ladies, gentlemen, and everyone in between,

The good news is, there are only 3 more chapters to go, followed by a coda which will set up the remaining 5 arcs I have planned for this Retroboot/Legion of Earth-7.5 series.

The bad news is, I really don't know how soon those last 4 posts will be finished and ready to be posted. There's been a lot of real-life drama lately at Haus of Fickles, but I think I should leave it at that and apologize for however long all you lovely readers will be kept waiting. I'd LIKE to have it all done within the next 4 weeks, to coincide with the beginning of spring and all that. We shall see. Thanks for your patience.

In the meantime, please feel free to comment on the last few chapters, which I have seen very little feedback on (my thanks to those who have chimed in, even in brief), even though I had thought that there would be a lot to discuss about Ayla's never-before-shared backstory, the sordid truth about Yera's lifestyle, and so much more. Remember, I always make it a point to reply to your comments, as I feel they are what makes all the time & effort worthwhile.

As for me, I feel the least I can do is provide a few tasters of things to come:

- Before the 3rd story-arc begins (tentatively around Thanksgiving 2017), I'm hoping to spin off a New-Gods-of-Earth-7.5 fanfic-slash-chronology thread right here in Bits, which will add details to many of the New Gods-related plot threads and backstory already covered in the work-in-progress 2nd story-arc, as well as (and I don't think this will spoil anything), tying up the loose ends which do not involve the Legion and settling once and for all which New Gods live, which die, whether New Genesis or Apokolips is destroyed, and who shall reign over all that remains.

- The 3rd story-arc will be a much more traditional tale of the Legion...at least on the surface. It will start out as both a good-old-fashioned Legion vs. Khunds battle and an investigation into what outside force caused Imra to put Rokk in a coma, including the obligatory armada of Khund warships, led by one Captain Crugg (is it alternate version of Amalia or isn't it? I already know the answer, but I'm not telling...yet. Tee hee.)

But more importantly, the 3rd story-arc will see the "Lost Legionnaires" back the 31st Century (with the caveat that all 7 of them might not necessarily return.)

TimberWolf

Wildfire

Dawnstar

Tellus

Gates

Tyroc

:ChameleonGirl:

And MOST IMPORTANTLY, several old favorites return to the team to help clear Imra's name:

SensorGirl

KarateKid

LightningLad

ChameleonBoy

ColossalBoy

...PLUS a NEW Supergirl (but don't call her that!)

Now, some will only be around for this one very important mission, some are back for the long run, some may have more to them than meets the eye, and some may simply not see the mission through to the end.

- And I haven't forgotten that I promised the return of...

Quislet

...which will ALSO happen during the 3rd story-arc.

And that leaves us with:

Brainiac5 Will he and Harmonia be reunited? And if not, is that necessarily going to be a bad thing? But if they are, is that going to be even worse?

ShrinkingViolet & LightningLass Salu is finally getting anger management therapy, while Ayla gets wilder every day. Where will this all lead? Will they stay together? Especially since they will soon have (GASP!) a BABY on the way?

Blok Was his recent destructive rampage only the heat of the moment, or are we seeing the real Blok emerging at last?

(Mysa) She's powerless, but will she stay that way? We know that anything the puts her mind to, she gets done!

(Harmonia) The aftershocks shall be worse than the event itself which ends the 2nd story-arc. That's all I can say right now.

(Glorith II) Um...no comment at this time.

(Dragonwing) Like so many teenagers, she needs a mentor-slash-role-model. Will it end up being Tasmia or Mysa? And are either of them actually suited for the task? Or might they do more harm than good for Marya?

ShadowLass We have already seen that, like Brainy, she has been profoundly altered inside by recent cosmos-shaking events. But will this be the rise of a kinder, gentler Tasmia? Or will she spiral into becoming a more vicious warrior-woman than even her nemesis, Lady Memory :LadyMemory: ?

Stay tuned...



Read LEGIONS OF 7 WORLDS in the Bits forum:

Retroboot (Earth-7.5) Arc 1 (COMPLETED)

Retroboot (Earth-7.5) Arc 2 (WORK IN PROGRESS)

"Don't look for role models, girls, BE the role model."

- Legion World member HARBINGER
#922840 - 03/02/17 01:38 AM Re: Legions of 7 Worlds (2nd story-arc of Retroboot Legion of Earth-7.5 is under way. UPDATE: Chapter 12 posted on Mar, 2nd, 2017.) [Re: Fanfic Lady]  
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 17,872
Fanfic Lady Offline
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
Fanfic Lady  Offline
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy

Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 17,872
CHAPTER 12


2017: THE GARDEN OF SANITY, ON APOKOLIPS...

"The time for the answers you have sought and richly earned is now." declared Lightray to the Legionnaires. "As I said only a moment ago, your teammate Yera Allon shall soon be holding the fate of the universe in her hands. And when next you meet her, you must either redeem her...or destroy her."

Then, Lightray's chambers went so quiet that you could have heard a pin drop. The expressions on the four individual Legionnaires' faces (or, in Wildfire's case, body language), said it all -- wide-eyed shock from Dawnstar, subtle shivering from Wildfire, confusion mixed with acceptance from Timber Wolf, and, most tellingly, stoic resignation from Harmonia. And when Lightray locked eyes with Timber Wolf before he finally spoke again, Timber Wolf instantly knew that if anyone was to save Yera, it was he.

"Always remember, Legionnaires, it is not enough to desire redemption. One must also be an instrument of redemption."

Yes, thought Timber Wolf as the intensity of the turbulence in his head finally began to decrease, it's finally all starting to make sense to me. This is, at last, the answer to "WHY ME?" I am the one who's meant to redeem Yera AND redeem myself. I still don't know HOW, but I have faith that when the time comes, I will do what's right.

"The remaining knowledge I feel an obligation to share with you, before you go forth to Darkseid's Tower for the final battle, is thus:

"Such fanciful notions as beginnings, middles, and ends are but the inventions of small minds unable to cope with the bigger picture; the same goes for notions of descent and ascension. There has only ever been, and only ever will be, the perfect circle, and the seven phases on the path to enlightment.

The 1st is SENSATION, the awareness of our immediate surroundings and our infantile desires to make them revolve around us.

This segues nicely into the 2nd, EMOTION, the expressions of said desires, the joys and sorrows, the elations and the frustrations as we begin to interact with our limited environment.

But there is a far more wide-ranging world outside, and as our awareness expands, we are led to the 3rd, PERCEPTION, the basic understanding of how things are and the way they work.

Understanding sparks the 4th, AMBITION, the drive towards the fulfillment of our deepest desires. However, ambition without self-discipline turns us into either dreamers or repeat failures.

Thus, the 5th, COORDINATION, self-control, practical knowledge and the application of said knowledge.

Those who are most successful at applying knowledge to their inner drive attain the 6th, EMPOWERMENT, but it is always fated to prove a double-edged sword. Power for its own sake, used for selfish ends, is a danger to oneself and others, and carries within it the seeds of miscommunication, conflict, abuse and self-abuse, and, ultimately, destruction. The only thing that can save us is to gain knowledge beyond practicality and beyond superficial pursuits -- ergo, the enriching discoveries of wisdom, health, and spirituality.

"And so we arrive at the 7th, ENLIGHTMENT. If we have done good, then the circle closes with a true sense of balance, peace, joy, and...harmony."

Lightray punctuated that last word by abruptly shifting his gaze from Timber Wolf to Harmonia. And as with Timber Wolf, she intuited what destiny held in store for her, though unlike him, Harmonia's sense of clarity was immediate and definite.

"Go now," said Lightray in a serene, balanced tone, "and do what you must."

As the Legionnaires exited Lightray's sanctum, leaving him and his beloved Diana to themselves, Timber Wolf's mind continued to be in metaphorical overdrive, but now he was firmly at the wheel. So, he thought, Yera is Sensation, one extreme, and I'm Enlightment, the other extreme! Heh, who'd have ever thought it'd be me? So what does that make the other five of us? Hmmm...Tyroc, with his raw, angry passions, is Emotion; Tellus, whose awareness is such it allows him to read minds and move objects, is Perception; Gates, as passionate as Tyroc if not even more so, and with definite plans, even if they never seem to work, is Ambition; Dawnstar requires incredible amounts of discipline and focus to use her flight powers and tracking powers, which makes her Coordination; and Wildfire -- he's almost the whole package rolled into one, what with deep feelings, burning passion, enough smarts to take charge when he needs to, ambition to spare and the pragmatism to make it happen...all he lacks is self-control, which is why his ego runs riot all the time...which brings us to me, the reluctant hero, the...reluctant messiah? Holy nass! This is, once again, getting to be too sprocking much for me to handle...

Timber Wolf was silently grateful to have his thoughts interrupted by the always-welcome voice of Himon, who was in the process of introducing a young woman, wearing a long, tattered red robe, to the Legionnaires. Her voluptuousness, and the light-cinnamon tone of her skin, gave her an appearance resembling the natives of India, the land on Earth which they had only just left behind. Whoever she was, Timber perceived that she stood tall, lithe, athletic, and proud, with a guarded toughness to her facial expression balanced by a selfless kindness projected through her soft brown eyes.

"Legionnaires," said Himon proudly, "meet Zaida. As my own eyes, ears and limbs have begun to fail with age, I can no longer fuction as both leader and chief sentry for my community. Ergo, a younger and healthier chief sentry. Needless to say, Zaida is to be your guide through the perilous streets of Armagetto, and she will lead you to the Tower of Torments, where you shall find your captive teammates and rescue them at last."

"Cool beans." said Wildfire. "What are we waiting for?"

"Hold just one moment, Legionnaires," replied Harmonia, her tone more inscrutable than ever, leading Timber Wolf to tense up for reasons which, despite recent revelations, did not fully make sense to him.

For a tense few seconds, Harmonia and Zaida gazed deeply into each other's eyes, until a twinge of recognition, which needed no words, shone through their body language; Zaida relaxed her street-fighter bearing and extended her hand; Harmonia, without hesitation, pressed her hand into Zaida. Then Harmonia broke the silence.

"Forgive me, all of you. I only do what I must."

At that instant, an unspeakably intense blast of energy, equal parts elemental, mystical, and chronal, exploded in front of the Legionnaires and New Gods assembled around Harmonia. As Zaida began to scream, Harmonia turned to white light and rocketed away, gone in the blink of an eye, her particle trail having dissipated in the next blink of the eye, making it impossible for any witness to track Harmonia, her destination a mystery to all.

In the grim tableau which resulted, Zaida lay in the arms of Timber Wolf, alive but unconscious, while frustration and confusion quietly reigned over those who had apparently been duped by Harmonia, even wise old Himon. Suddenly, Diana's voice pierced the veil of silence.

"I heard the commotion...Great Athena! Oh, I had hoped upon hope that it wouldn't turn out to be so!"

"What...just...happened...here?" inquired Wildfire, sounding like he was on the edge of going ballistic.

"I believe I can answer that," replied Himon with equal parts shock and weariness, "legend has had it, for years untold, that Sonya and Harmonia were not the only daughters of Izaya, and it had been foretold that when one of them met the third, and last daughter, it would lead to disaster!"

"So what you are telling us," asked Dawnstar, "is that Zaida is...HER?"

It was now Diana's turn to answer. "In a word, yes. The identity of the third sister had eluded even my husband's power to illuminate the darkest secrets. Unless we reach Darkseid's towers in time, Harmonia may very well have doomed all sentient life as we know it."

************

2017: THE TOWERS, ON THE OTHER SIDE OF APOKOLIPS...

"Sire!" gasped DeSaad. "Our scanners detect a sudden spike in cosmic energy. Its point of origin is...on this very planet, in that infernal garden that you allow Himon to reign over!"

"A most fortuitous development." replied Darkseid. "Did I not tell you many times over that the garden would ultimately serve to benefit me?"

"Y-yes, my liege. Your wisdom truly..."

"Save your empty words, DeSaad. This is the time for actions. We must now factor this development into the Anti-Life Equation, so as to triangulate the energy spike's exact destination...the place AND the time."

"As you command, milord. Factoring the chronal nature of the energy as we speak...carry the numeral...perform the multiplication, and...YES! The time is the year 3017, the place is the planet known as the Sorceror's World!"

"Excellent. And as the cosmic convergences fall into place exactly as I expected, there remains only...ah, here she comes now."

A boom-tube was now in the process of opening inside Darkseid's & DeSaad's cluttered laboratory, and the first sentient to emerge was the overlord's quarry, the female Durlan named Yera Allon, striding out decisively, with a stoic expression on the lovely face of her default orange-skinned form. Bringing up the rear were the Female Furies Knockout, Speed Queen, and Lashina.

"Welcome to Apokolips, Yera." said Darkseid. "I trust the ladies were as solicitous as I commanded them to be as they guided you here, to your ultimate destiny?"

"They certainly were." replied Yera. "Knockout rescued me from an alleyway beating by a gang of humans. I have no place to call home anymore save for Apokolips, no cause to serve anymore save yours, milord Darkseid."

"You have done well, Furies. Now go and join your sisters in the stations for the battle which draws ever nearer."

"I should hope it comes soon." blurted Lashina. "I finally recover from my injuries, only to be sent on a soft retrieval mission like this past one. I hunger for combat!"

"That hunger shall be satiated, my loyal soldier...many, many times over. For as we speak, the prelude to the endgame plays itself out on the Sorceror's World."

*************

3017: THE SORCERORS' WORLD

A short while ago, after Marya had generously handed over her cape -- the one with the painstakingly-embroidered dragon icons -- to Mysa, so that the now-powerless mage would be protected from the cold, Mysa had returned this act of kindness by telling Marya where to find the best wild fruits growing on the surface of the Sorceror's World.

Having found them exactly where Mysa had said they were, Marya now carried two -- one which she was biting into, the other intended for the contemplative Tasmia, who had spent the last few hours sitting on the grass of a clearing, her back to the other three Legionnaires -- and as Marya walked past Blok & Mysa while closing in on Tasmia, she was too preoccupied with how Tasmia might react to her interruption to pick up anything coherent from Blok & Mysa's conversation.

Tasmia, for her part, had lost track of just how much time she had spent fixating on one image from the recent past: the unexpectedly vulnerable expression on Lady Memory's face as Tasmia attempted to strangle her to death. In hindsight, thought Tasmia, it is just as well that Harmonia intervened to prevent me from killing my nemesis. To have been destined to live the rest of my life with that expression of helplessness seared into my mind's eye...

"Are you hungry?"

Marya's query disrupted Tasmia's intense thoughts, but where the Tasmia of old would have snarled a snappish reply, the Tasmia of the present day and time merely turned her head to face her protégé-of-sorts and softly answer, "Yes. Thank you, Marya."

"Still friends, then?"

"I feel as thought I should be the one asking that same question of you."

Marya smiled. "Water under the bridge."

As Tasmia dug her flawless bright-white teeth into the fruit, Marya eased herself down next to her, anticipating a new phase in her relationship with the complex, intense Talokian, a long conversation in which they would both open up to each other like never before.

But this was not to be. For, like a bolt of lightning, Harmonia herself erupted from the skies, having pierced the time-travel barriers in her energy form, to arrive at her intended destination and coalesce back in humanoid form before the widened eyes of her four fellow Legionnaires.

"Ancestors preserve us..." gasped Tasmia.

"Where the sprock have you been?" blurted Marya. "And where's Glorith?"

"I have been making preparations for the final confrontation with my she-devil of an older sister, Sonya. She hides on the other side of this planet, one thousand years in the past...and the five of us shall make her pay for all the harm she has caused, so that her presence may pollute the cosmos no more."

Tasmia was speechless, in shock at beholding this cold-blooded side of Harmonia. Marya, for her part, felt like she had heard it all before.

"That's all well and good," sneered Marya, "but you still haven't answered my question -- where's Glorith?"

"I fear she is lost to us." replied Harmonia, as ever revealing no more emotion than she needed to get her point across, her eyes downcast and a near-indiscernible choke in her throat as she answered.

Marya sensed there was a lot more to the truth about what had happened to Glorith than Harmonia was willing to share. But at the same time, it crossed Marya's mind that the truth may be beyond all human comprehension. As the picture of humans as playthings in the games of the gods painted itself in her head once again, Marya began to despair of ever seeing the point of life.

************

BEYOND SPACE AND TIME: THE SKIES ABOVE THE VERY SURFACE OF THE SOURCE ITSELF...

"Hail, Avatar of Anti-Life." growled the astral form of Darkseid, in a display of humility which would have shocked those who knew him well...thought not those who knew him best, as one of the most cunning sentients to have ever existed.

The object of his apparently sincere genuflection was shocked out of the inertia she had been trapped in for longer than she could remember. Then, as if for emphasis, Darkseid addressed her by name.

"Hail, Glorith, the ultimate transcendentalist, she whose cosmos-altering actions I would never presume to interfere with, but rather, I would help to facilitate."

"D-D-D-DARKSEID! Harmonia warned me about you!"

"Did she, now?"

"Get away from me...you demon, you evil...beast."

"Am I truly evil? I think not. Rather, I see myself as merely having zero tolerance for untruths. Now, your supposed protector, your maternal surrogate, the aforementioned Harmonia, she who left you orbiting the Source in suspended animation, she deals in NOTHING BUT UNTRUTHS! But then, I would expect no less of the tainted progeny of Izaya the Highfather, the architect of AN ENTIRE PLANETARY KINGDOM OF LIES!"

"Very well, then tell me -- who am I really?"

"Quite simple. Harmonia is your misguided aunt, who intends to prevent you from ever being born. Your father is the presumptuous sorcerer Mordru, and your mother is the terribly misunderstood Sonya."

"No...NO!"

"Is it proof you require, then? In that case, I need only point out that Harmonia is now in the process of succeeding. Do you not sense right at this moment that you are vanishing from sentient existence, your mind, body, and soul, to be lost for all eternity?"

"No, I...I...you...you DO speak the truth! H-help me. PLEASE!"

"I shall do so, Glorith. The pleasure and the privilege is mine. Release your consciousness into the astral plane, and follow me to where you shall be reborn."

************

2017: THE TOWERS OF APOKOLIPS...

"I have returned, DeSaad -- triumphant." stated Darkseid plainly, as his body regained its mobility and his eyes once again glowed like twin crimson orbs. "Now, prepare your machines for the transfer of Glorith's essence into Yera's body."

CONTINUED...


Read LEGIONS OF 7 WORLDS in the Bits forum:

Retroboot (Earth-7.5) Arc 1 (COMPLETED)

Retroboot (Earth-7.5) Arc 2 (WORK IN PROGRESS)

"Don't look for role models, girls, BE the role model."

- Legion World member HARBINGER
#923734 - 03/18/17 03:55 AM Re: Legions of 7 Worlds (2nd story-arc of Retroboot Legion of Earth-7.5 is under way. UPDATE: Chapter 12 posted on Mar, 2nd, 2017.) [Re: Fanfic Lady]  
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Fat Cramer Offline
Fat Cramer  Offline


Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 15,287
Café Cramer
I'm really enjoying the New Gods in this story; you've worked in quite a few of them. Especially pleased to see Himon and Lightray, my favourites. Lightray, with his seven steps to enlightenment, sounds so much like Highfather. Desaad is his perfectly unctuous self, such a toady while still being a potential backstabber.

Brin's assignment of Legionnaires to the different phases of enlightenment was well done; connecting Gates to ambition was unexpected, but Brin's reasoning was sound.

Ayla's high school story was surprisingly sad, although entirely within the realm of teenage experience, always so hard to be an outsider or different in high school, with the added problem that her parents didn't offer any support. It makes sense that she'd bury this unhappy memory but that it would still haunt her, despite her success as a Legionnaire. Salu came across as a very sympathetic, understanding and warm partner. It's not a side we've seen much of, apart from her dealings with Ayla. It did strike me as a bit mean to use Ayla's makeover to bait Brainy, but at least he took it in good stride and I guess that was just the girls' high spirits at play. I guess I'm thinking of postboot Ayla, who was a bit of a closer friend to the green kid. I am wondering if she'll stick with this new look or if she's just trying it on.

Yera really strikes me as unpleasant, as if she's on an emotional bender - but now caught up in schemes beyond her understanding.

Big surprise that Glorith is a daughter of Sonya and Mordru, but fits in perfectly with the story. Izaya's daughters seem to be a grumpy, troublesome lot! I wonder who the mother was.

Looking forward to the next two chapters! And I hope Tasmia gets her fighting spirit back, without the anger brought on by the awful events on Talok VIII!


Holy Cats of Egypt!
#923737 - 03/18/17 05:33 AM Re: Legions of 7 Worlds (2nd story-arc of Retroboot Legion of Earth-7.5 is under way. UPDATE: Chapter 12 posted on Mar, 2nd, 2017.) [Re: Fat Cramer]  
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Fanfic Lady Offline
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
Fanfic Lady  Offline
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy

Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 17,872
Thanks for chiming in, Cramer.

Originally Posted by Fat Cramer
I'm really enjoying the New Gods in this story; you've worked in quite a few of them. Especially pleased to see Himon and Lightray, my favourites. Lightray, with his seven steps to enlightenment, sounds so much like Highfather. Desaad is his perfectly unctuous self, such a toady while still being a potential backstabber.


Much appreciated. They are great fun to write, and I also find them to be archetypal enough to accommodate different interpretations while still staying true to themselves as originally established by Jack Kirby. For example, Kirby's Darkseid was motivated mainly by a desire to control every sentient life-form; Kirby himself -- and his friend Mark Evanier has vouched for this -- based the arch-villain explicitly on his perception of Richard Nixon, who was Kirby's bete noire at that moment in time. My Darkseid is not based on anyone in particular, but more like my perceptions of a lot of people from both my generation (Gen-X) and their successors (Millennials), especially the most web-savvy, social-media-oriented ones -- seeing things in stark contrast without shades of gray, and seething with volcanic anger while possessing a degree of conviction in their own twisted worldviews, and in their equally disturbing empowerment fantasies, that I find both frightening and morbidly fascinating.

And RE: the characters you noted, I love writing wise old sage archetypes such as Himon, and I'm glad you noticed the parallels between Lightray and Highfather, each generation interpreting the secrets of the universe in their own particular way. As for DeSaad, scripting the banter between him and Darkseid is just a gas, and it makes me wish that YouTube wasn't so deficient on both characters' appearances on the final 2 seasons of Super Friends (at least the last time I checked.) Perhaps once the Warner Archives website starts streaming more old favourites, more people will get to enjoy those sequences.

Originally Posted by Fat Cramer
Brin's assignment of Legionnaires to the different phases of enlightenment was well done; connecting Gates to ambition was unexpected, but Brin's reasoning was sound.


Thank you. Yeah, I think a lot of, if not almost all, would-be revolutionary figureheads like Gates are driven by a volatile mixture of charity and ego. It's that very combustible factor, I believe, which often leads them to self-sabotage, as, again, Gates is prone to.

Originally Posted by Fat Cramer
Ayla's high school story was surprisingly sad, although entirely within the realm of teenage experience, always so hard to be an outsider or different in high school, with the added problem that her parents didn't offer any support.


Thanks. And while there's no arguing that her mother was monstrous in her combination of neglect and unprovoked resentment, I do see her dad, for all his farmer's stoicism, as being supportive in the sense that he imparted enough good values in her that she didn't do anything vindictive towards the mean girls.

Originally Posted by Fat Cramer
It makes sense that she'd bury this unhappy memory but that it would still haunt her, despite her success as a Legionnaire. Salu came across as a very sympathetic, understanding and warm partner. It's not a side we've seen much of, apart from her dealings with Ayla.


Again, thanks. I'd definitely like to explore Ayla's backstory further (perhaps as a speical done-in-one next year, to commemorate the Legion's anniversary), and possibly Salu's as well, although as I already suggested in that chapter, I see Salu as simply being very much a product of the suburbs, coming of age with blinders imposed upon her by misguided, overprotective adults.

Originally Posted by Fat Cramer
It did strike me as a bit mean to use Ayla's makeover to bait Brainy, but at least he took it in good stride and I guess that was just the girls' high spirits at play. I guess I'm thinking of postboot Ayla, who was a bit of a closer friend to the green kid.


I am SO relieved that the high-spirits-at-play thing came through like I'd intended. Thank you for confirming that. All three of them were under terrible stress at that moment, so Salu, with Ayla quickly following her lead, reasoned that a bit a levity, even of the sneaky sort, was called for. RE: Postboot Ayla, I do like her, and she is -- as I've noticed you yourself observing in the Legion forum's Postboot review threads -- more of a den-mother-in-the-making than the Preboot Ayla (which kinda makes me wish we'd seen more interaction between her and the equally Mama-Bear-ish Postboot Shvaughn.)

Originally Posted by Fat Cramer
I am wondering if she'll stick with this new look or if she's just trying it on.


A hint -- even though the next time we'll see her, she'll be back to "normal", she will definitely be pining for that storybook-princess hair. Perhaps there's a slightly better chance that she, and not Salu, will carry the child I mentioned previously in my things-to-come post, and those nine months will allow her to grow it out? We shall see.

Originally Posted by Fat Cramer
Yera really strikes me as unpleasant, as if she's on an emotional bender - but now caught up in schemes beyond her understanding.


As someone who has been fascinated by the personalities of entertainers since long before it was trendy, I find Yera to be very true to how I perceive a lot of actresses to be -- intense, tormented, and possessed of a deeply divided soul, which leads her to actions both bold and foolhardy, often at the same time. To say nothing of being self-centered.

Originally Posted by Fat Cramer
Big surprise that Glorith is a daughter of Sonya and Mordru, but fits in perfectly with the story. Izaya's daughters seem to be a grumpy, troublesome lot! I wonder who the mother was.


I think I might as well admit it now -- I originally conceived Izaya's dynasty to be a cosmic version of "King Lear," but, unfortunately, I found in the process of writing this story that I had to leave out a ton of New-Gods-related flashbacks, or else it would have ended up being 10 times longer. The good news is that, once I've finished this story, I plan to, with the invaluable help of Legion World's own Kirby scholar, Emily Sivana, start work on a new thread focusing on the New Gods of Earth-7.5, but at a leisurely pace. I figure it'd be nice to have it ready to post towards the end of August, to coincide with the 100th anniversary of Jack Kirby's birth.

Originally Posted by Fat Cramer
Looking forward to the next two chapters! And I hope Tasmia gets her fighting spirit back, without the anger brought on by the awful events on Talok VIII!


Hmmm...all I can say at this moment is that Marya hopes Tasmia remains kinder & gentler. But will she? The answer will come in the remaining 2 chapters, and it will dovetail with the return of the Lady Memory subplot.

Thanks again, Cramer.


Read LEGIONS OF 7 WORLDS in the Bits forum:

Retroboot (Earth-7.5) Arc 1 (COMPLETED)

Retroboot (Earth-7.5) Arc 2 (WORK IN PROGRESS)

"Don't look for role models, girls, BE the role model."

- Legion World member HARBINGER
#926575 - 04/20/17 01:56 PM Re: Legions of 7 Worlds (2nd story-arc of Retroboot Legion of Earth-7.5 is under way. UPDATE: Chapter 12 posted on Mar, 2nd, 2017.) [Re: Fanfic Lady]  
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Invisible Brainiac Offline
Unseen, not unheard
Invisible Brainiac  Offline
Unseen, not unheard

Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 55,758
Wouldn't you like to know?
Finally caught up. There's a lot I read in one sitting, so my comments may miss out on a few details.

At first I was surprised at how terribly catty Tasmia and Marya were at Harmonia's falling. Ayla did right in calling them out. To their credit, they did proceed to help - and I'm glad you had Glorith be a voice of reason, else it would have been very much out of character. If Tasmia and Marya hadn't gone to help out too, it would have been out of character... but as it is, I can understand Tasmia's great dislike for Harmonia, and Marya following suit in her "mentor's" wake.

Nice battles with Mysa and Blok. Trouble, with a small t, heh.

Marya telling Tasmia off was well done, as was Tasmia's reaction to it. Good work showing how Tasmia is self-aware enough to realize her mistake.

Loved the bit where Mysa and Marya work together to reach Glorith.

Well done showing the reactions of the various Lost Legionnaires to their being stranded in the past. All very true to character, IMO.

Brin's matching of the seven to Enlightenment, Ambition, etc. was well done.

Mixing the New Gods in is interesting. I like how you write Desaad, and Gates mouthing off was so much fun.

Ayla's prom trauma was touchingly done, as was Vi's reaction to it. You write their relationship very well. Like FC, I did think their pranking of poor Brainy was a tad mean-spirited at first, but their sort-of apology and telling him to lighten up was well done. They meant no harm and were just trying to lighten the mood. And Brainy appreciating it in secret was very nice.

Last edited by Invisible Brainiac; 04/20/17 01:57 PM.
#926590 - 04/20/17 03:00 PM Re: Legions of 7 Worlds (2nd story-arc of Retroboot Legion of Earth-7.5 is under way. UPDATE: Chapter 12 posted on Mar, 2nd, 2017.) [Re: Invisible Brainiac]  
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Fanfic Lady Offline
More Polyanna than Poison Ivy
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More Polyanna than Poison Ivy

Joined: Jul 2005
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Originally Posted by Invisible Brainiac
Finally caught up. There's a lot I read in one sitting, so my comments may miss out on a few details.


No worries, Ibby. I have a feeling that this going to be one story that is going to be re-read by a lot of people, given its complexity and given my aforementioned plan to fill in the backstory on the E-7.5 New Gods (especially Izaya's daughters) when they get their own thread this coming August.

Originally Posted by Invisible Brainiac
At first I was surprised at how terribly catty Tasmia and Marya were at Harmonia's falling. Ayla did right in calling them out. To their credit, they did proceed to help - and I'm glad you had Glorith be a voice of reason, else it would have been very much out of character. If Tasmia and Marya hadn't gone to help out too, it would have been out of character... but as it is, I can understand Tasmia's great dislike for Harmonia, and Marya following suit in her "mentor's" wake.


Marya's such a teen, isn't she? Always following whoever's the "Queen of the Hill" that week.

Originally Posted by Invisible Brainiac
Nice battles with Mysa and Blok. Trouble, with a small t, heh.


Thank you. The whole sequence on the Sorcerors' World climaxing with Sonya's empowerment is one of my favorite things I've ever written. And you're the second reader to compliment the "Trouble with a small 't'" line (Harbi was the first.) Much appreciated.

Originally Posted by Invisible Brainiac
Marya telling Tasmia off was well done, as was Tasmia's reaction to it. Good work showing how Tasmia is self-aware enough to realize her mistake.


I think the problem a lot of writers have with Tasmia (and I've noticed this is a problem that a lot of writers have with Dawnstar as well) is that they can't get past the superciliousness and the haughtiness. It was never hard for me. I dunno, maybe it's something to do with me growing up outside the States, in a different culture. I'm not bashing America or Americans (I am, after all, an American myself), I'm just observing that far too many Americans seem to fixate on surfaces and be reluctant to explore what's underneath.

Originally Posted by Invisible Brainiac
Loved the bit where Mysa and Marya work together to reach Glorith.


Thanks, yeah, I'm amazed at how well I "got" Mysa's voice on my first try. But I still think Harbi writes the best Mysa of all.

Originally Posted by Invisible Brainiac
Well done showing the reactions of the various Lost Legionnaires to their being stranded in the past. All very true to character, IMO.

Brin's matching of the seven to Enlightenment, Ambition, etc. was well done.


I guess this is the perfect opportunity for me to announce that even though this ongoing Retroboot Legion story has only five more arcs to go, I am totally going to do prequel vignettes some time after it's wrapped up. And the ones I'm most excited about doing are the ones taking place between the end of Legion Lost v.2 and the opening scene of this story.

Originally Posted by Invisible Brainiac
Mixing the New Gods in is interesting. I like how you write Desaad, and Gates mouthing off was so much fun.


I love writing dialogue for both Gates and Desaad. As I mentioned in earlier posts, Gates' "voice" is, to me, totally Bill Murray in his early-80s prime (or the late Lorenzo Music doing a decent Murray impersonation in the first 65 episodes of the "Real Ghostbusters" TV show. Or a little of both.) And DeSaad as interpreted by Rene Auberjoinois on the last 2 seasons of Super-Friends is utterly sublime, so much so that I think the Warner Archive website should prioritize getting all the iterations of Super-Friends available for streaming.

Originally Posted by Invisible Brainiac
Ayla's prom trauma was touchingly done, as was Vi's reaction to it. You write their relationship very well.


Thank you. That sequence was a challenge (especially given my previous dislike of Preboot/Retroboot Vi) that, based on what you and Cramer said, I am finally starting to believe I managed to rise up to. I'm even thinking of possibly sharing it with some of my current and former counselors (more than one of whom have teen patients a lot like the younger Ayla), and seeing what they think.

Originally Posted by Invisible Brainiac
Like FC, I did think their pranking of poor Brainy was a tad mean-spirited at first, but their sort-of apology and telling him to lighten up was well done. They meant no harm and were just trying to lighten the mood. And Brainy appreciating it in secret was very nice.


I greatly appreciate the positive-with-slight-reservations feedback on the prank scene from both you and Cramer. That was another one that was not easy to write, and I'm glad I seem to have made it work.


Read LEGIONS OF 7 WORLDS in the Bits forum:

Retroboot (Earth-7.5) Arc 1 (COMPLETED)

Retroboot (Earth-7.5) Arc 2 (WORK IN PROGRESS)

"Don't look for role models, girls, BE the role model."

- Legion World member HARBINGER
#927523 - 05/05/17 10:01 AM Re: Legions of 7 Worlds (2nd story-arc of Retroboot Legion of Earth-7.5 is under way. UPDATE: Chapter 12 posted on Mar, 2nd, 2017.) [Re: Fanfic Lady]  
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Harbinger Offline
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here, more often than not
Hey Raquel, how are you?

You have loads going on in this story and at times I had to re-read things to get them in order in my mind - but that's a good thing as there a fair few hidden (and not so hidden) gems in amongst the high drama excitement and angst.

"The trick is to keep breathing" Mysa is really wise, isn't she? This can be filed under the ongoing list of 'so obvious they are actually profound' quotes that Bits has been presenting us with.

Glorith getting up set about being called 'Glo' by Marya was funny, and you wrote Marya's response to Harmonia's acknowledgement of her bravery very well - she's still quite young really so these doubts and revelations of her own character are spot on. As FC wrote earlier, she's fun to read about but I wouldn't want to live with her.

The snark between Marya and Tasmia is delicious - "That's what I love about you, Tasmia, you're always so gentle!" Haha, that made me actually laugh out loud - Nice line!

Brin's description as a loner with a vivid inner life but no mechanism to share it was quite poignant, certainly more respectful than most people describe him (me included, much as I like him). My one critique so far is the line that the colours were becoming a trillion times brighter - that's awfully bright! Minor point but there it is.

Poor Brainy losing control - that must be his biggest fear! Still, the image of him stuffing a pie into his mouth like that was really funny. you have a good grasp of writing physical humour, that can be quite difficult to get right but you've got it.

Wildfire's jealousy was well done too, you've got his 'voice' right and I can easily see him being concerned by Brin and Dawny's friendship. The line about Brin being back on drugs was fun too - yo do write snark very well!

though the single, almost throwaway, line that was simply great was Ms Chang saying she is Harmonia's previous life! Absolutely brilliant idea - sure Harmonia is immortal but that doesn't mean she necessarily has the same body for al that time. What a great idea Raquel, well done.

Salu's ruminations on her and Ayla's personalities was another nice character moment - she has never shown to have much depth, I feel, so it's really nice to see you do what the pros never bothered to. Ayla's transformation and sad tale were even better! The idea that the Ranzz's are really from Hicksville sounds about right.

The scene were they trick Brainy for a laugh was fun, but I wonder if he would really have been fooled that easily. Or was he?

Also, minor quibble, but Salu thinking about 'playing a girl' was a bit off to me. I don't know, but I've never heard any of my gay friends talk about themselves like that in any seriousness - perhaps it's a British thing, but if descriptions are used it's always Butch and Femme, though even these are rarely serious. We can hope by the 31st century the need for such restrictive definitions would be forgotten. May that's my EDHR training kicking in, so feel free to disregard.

Nice exchange between Darksied and De Saad - they are like an old co-dependent couple aren't they?

Funny how universal harmony depends on Yera as in the Lost canon she was a shown as a potential spy and very much a loose cannon - she's an interesting choice! Liked your descriptions of Lightray and Diana, they are definitely an interesting couple.

And there she is - Yera in all her glory! The scene with Kendra and her was highly charged. I hadn't really thought about it before but if Yera was a successful actress in the 31st century then she was probably involved in some of the sleazier side of celebrity that a lot of big name actors often get attributed with so her taking cocaine isn't a stretch.

"And should any one of you fail in your missions...you had best pray to The Source that your failure is a fatal one. That is all." Love your Darksied dialogue, love it!

The seven phases of enlightenment were interesting, especially seeing which Legionnaire you had match to them.

Okay, so the part was a bit I've re-read a few times and yet I still don't understand what motivated Harmonia to zap Zaida and run away. I was exciting, don't get me wrong, but I'm hoping you'll get into Harmonia's motivation at some point.

Darksied has Yera... oh dear! And she appears to already on his side, if this is right it doesn't bode too well.

Seeing Marya and Tasmia's softer sides was a treat, after all their snarling it was a relief that they could be personable with each other. Harmonia's bloodlust was quite a departure (a welcome one) from her stoic characterisation in the comic. and Marya turning her lack of answer to where Glorith was into a personal point of angst was funny - ah, teenagers!

And poor Glorith, apparently betrayed by Harmonia before have Darksied come along - to have her reborn inside Yera! Ouch! Great cliff hanger, I'm looking forward to where you can take this next.

Really enjoyed the last hour or so re-reading this so I could (finally) give you the feedback aquel, and I'm looking forward to reading more, more, more!


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