Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Mission Monitor Board Man, that Cobalt Kid is a jerk!

Building statues here, there and everywhere so the board collapses under the weight of them. They DESERVE to get blown up!

I KNEW IT!

Jeez, the world ends and a few posters are erased from reality, and suddenly everyone is up in arms! The statues are beautiful, you're going to love them!

Easy for you to say - you only died in the collapse! Some of us were thrown down into BattleLegionWorld, the pitiful remains, for years until Nightcrawler was able to give the Mad Trommite a ham-on-rye to remake things mostly as they were!

I thought the avenue of heroes would have...y'know... some statues that weren't Cobie in various poses?

I don't mind being called a jerk. Because a jerk is a tug and a tug is a pull and a pull is a yank and a Yank is a good American!

Quit pulling my chain! Joik!

I treasured my Cobalt Kid mantlepiece-action figure for many years. Contrary to rumors, my then-future spouse wasn't jealous. It's just that I had to move, and the new digs had no fireplace and no mantle! [wipes solitary tear]

I arranged to buy an diner napkin autographed by Cobalt Kid back in '97, y'know, from before the accident. Sure, I was a lot poorer financially, but so much richer to have it in my hands. But there was a shower of rain, and the signature stained and then ran from the napkin. Like my tears moments later...>sniff<

Cobalt Kid taught me that even an android can cry

But, see, that would involve actual heroes. And the anonymous funder was, by all accounts, very specific about what he wanted. Almost as if...

This reminds me of a PM I received recently, I won't reveal which Legionworlder named Fat Cramer it was who sent it though.

Cobie's picking out a thermos for me...
not an ordinary thermos, you see...
but the extra best thermos Cobie can buy
with vinyl and stripes and a cup built right in.

It caused a lot of people to call him a joik, but "I Am Curious: Cobalt" is now considered to be groundbreaking.

It's well known in conspiracy circles that Cobie has changed the timeline on numerous occasions by romancing famous women of different eras. If he hadn't broken Florence Nightingale's heart, she would never have fled to the Crimea to forget him.

That was chronicled in the great Cobalt Monthly #12: Crimea of the Century

When are they going to start collecting Cobalt Monthly in TPB?

When the half life of his many Atomic Adventures is reached!

Wait for the companion expose - Men Who Loved Cobie.

And there were many...

The unresolved debate though, is whether Cobie knew what he was doing to those poor men - or is he just that much of an incorrigible flirt?

That's why Alfred Lord Tennyson wrote "Better to have loved and lost..."

Was that before or after they broke up, I wonder. Literary scholars seem to be divided about it.

This reminds me of a Simpsons bit.

Principal Skinner is making an announcement .

"It has been brought to my attention by a student. We'll call her 'L. Simpson' no wait that's too identifiable. Call her 'Lisa S.' ..."

Gee, I wonder who that is.

A Durlan pretending to be Lisa. A Durlan hired by Cobie!

One orgy with Cleopatra and the whole Roman Republic falls apart.

Well, it should have seen a doctor before it got that far. Empires. So self obsessed. I've no sympatby for 'em.

I'm so confused because I thought....

Actually, Steve Martin was "The Jerk."

I wish everyone would just stop jerking me around

......

I may need to duct tape my fingers together to keep from posting the obvious response here.

Steve Martin stares deeply into the crackling winter fire in Professor Xavier's study. The others would be there soon. but he always liked to get there early. To put on his face. To be the best Jerk he could. "Try not to dwell on it Steve," came the calm but strong voice from behind the Professor's desk. "No expects you to be like him." Steve did not respond. They both knew that Cobie would always be The Jerk, and they were but the shadows of the flame.

I think I moved away nicely from Dave's tape bondage post, without bringing the slightest bit of attention to...D'Oh!

{Smiles innocently...} what?

Doesn't Reed Richards have some extra-jerky moments too?

Is he jerkier than Batman?

Batman wasn't a jerk until Cobalt Kid assumed the mantle

I always thought a mantle looked daft on the costume. Sure, he could put Bat-memorabilia on it. But apart from the odd slap stick moment, was it any good in a fight? Would he listen to reason?

Issue 348 of Detective Comics proved the usefulness of the Bat-Mantle

Who cares? I don't care!

Are you talking about my bum again?

No, this is the jerk thread. The bum thread is down the corridor, past the heel thread and next to the bounder cubicle.