The LMBP just got a message from Andrew, a friend of Looks That Kill Lad, saying that he is extremely ill.

He has been in the hospital since the week before Christmas and is very ill according to Andrew. And they don't know when he will begin improving.

So, here is a BIG from Legion World (and me) to Paul.

Get Well Soon!

Absolutely, here's another big hug for him too.

Come back to play soon LTKL, your e-family are waiting for you.

I'm completely upset, I've had a crush on Paul for the longest time!

Missin' you, man! GET BETTER!!!!

Perhaps you should fly over there immediately, Lashie Poo, and do a little candy stripping.

Err... candy STRIPING.

Yeah... THAT'S what I meant...

Best wishes to Paul. I hope he fools them all and makes a speedy recovery.

Sorry to hear that. I hope you'll soon be feeling better. All our hopes are with you.

I hope Paul feels better soon! He is very missed around these parts!

Big to Looks that Kill Lad!

i'm sorry to hear this !!!

hope Paul's feeling better, soon !!!

Scott .... are you gonna get back in contact with Andrew, to pass on our wishes ??

Matthew.

I'm so upset by this news.

I remember e-mailing back and forth with Paul in early December -- we were talking about video games and Christmas presents. We didn't communicate for a couple of weeks after that, but I figured that he was just busy with the holidays.

I miss Paul. He's a very sweet, very funny guy... I wish we were closer by, so we could at least let him know how we're feeling.

I hope he knows how many friends he has here, and how fervently we hope that he gets well soon.

All my best wishes and hopes to you, Paul.

Get well soon! We miss you around here!!!!

Stu has already reposted his thoughts to the LMBP and I'll post everyone else's later on, if they don't mind. I don't think Andrew is signed up over here but we'll make sure he gets all the well wishes.

Whoa! I hope Paul recovers soon and fully.

Get well soon, Paul!! We love you!!

lil'rhino

Could someone who's a regular on the LGLFF Yahoo group post this information there?

There are probably a number of folks in the LGLFF that are neither in the LMBP group or here on LW, and I'm sure that they'd want to know about this and wish Paul the best for a speedy recovery.

Thank you.

I'm not sure the LGLFF exists anymore... I haven't gotten an e-mail in I don't know how long...

Just Saw this. Paul is a memeber of my APA as well and as Stu says a really nice guy.

All I can do is add my own best wishes and hope he makes a speedy recovery.

More hugs for LTKL winging their way from sunny Croydon.... from Sonnie xx

Best wishes Paul. Hope you feel better soon. Look forward to having you back on your feet and posting!

LTK you're in my thoughts. If I recall it was you that had that awesome Winnie the Pooh line which always made me smile.

Get better real soon!

Get well soon, Paul.

The LGLFF-- Legion of Gay LSH Fans & Friends-- DOES still exist.

Paul began this group a few years ago once it became very apparent on the old DC board that there were so many gay Legion fans.

A while back, I unsubscribed from all my Yahoo groups in an attempt to decrease my time online.

I regret that now.

Scott, I think this thread deserves to be headlined for now. Thanks.

Everyone say a prayer for Paul and his family. The world seems very strange sometimes, Paul is a great guy and will be in my thoughts.

This is very sad. Even when you never meet a person in, well, person, you become used to their presence on message boards. My heart goes out to Paul's family and friends.

I don't know what to say. Paul and his family and loved ones will have my prayers.

I think I need to log off for the night. I just can't think about having fun here right now.

Everyone take care.

This is so very sad, and we feel so helpless and at a loss to even know what to say. It makes you wonder, if I knew I was going to be taken ill, would I live my life any different? Would I treat people better? Would I read all those books I've piled up meaning to get to them later? Would I go across the street and meet that neighbor I ignored for years? Would I call the people I didn't necessarily like as well as those I did? Sad and terrible situations make me think, what if this was me?

Look at all the times that people have interacted with Paul and had back and forth discussions and laughs. Would you have changed anything or treated him differently if you knew this was coming? Probably he wouldn't have wanted you too. He probably would not have wanted to burden anybody with the sad news, or to be treated with kid gloves.

This is a wake up call for all of us. Life is short and each life is precious. We are blessed to have met each other here in this special corner of cyberspace. It hurts a lot to know this young life is hanging in the balance and that they say there is no hope. Let each of us hold a vigil in our hearts and if you pray, pray for Paul and for his family and those he loved best. Our 'family' is being deeply shaken and we will never be the same. Let us be better, and let love be our watchword.

Thanks, SG, that's so true. I wish Paul and his family all the best in this difficult time.

Shit.

You know, Paul really, REALLY loved the Transformers. Probably as much as I do.

I was looking forward to sitting down, hanging out sometime (maybe if I ever made it to the UK) and talking about this shared childhood joy. It may seem a silly thing to be upset about, but I am. There's someone who shares a large part of what makes me me who isn't going to be around anymore. I guess this is the expanded version of my previous post.

I haven't really known him, all I remember is he wrote he walked from Kings Cross to Croydon one night, and I found it very funny.

The thought that someone so young could be so ill is truly heartbreaking.

I Wish his family and close friends all the love and support imaginable to help them through this time.

Life is too fragile and far too short. It is heartbreaking to hear the "no recovery possible" - Paul certainly seems to be someone who has enriched the life of many others. Hold him in the light.

I don't think I've ever interacted with him yet here on these boards, but I feel awful too... He'll be in my prayers.

Hi, I'm Andrew Williams - the guy who originally posted the message about Paul being ill on the LMBP, just because he asked me to let people know not to expect him back too soon. To be honest, I didn't think this much detailed information about his illness would be around the internet so quickly, and to be honest I think it's inappropriate. I would have preferred for only his friends to know how serious his condition is. He's not dead yet and it's not appropriate for everyone to be acting like he is.

However, it's true that his condition isn't getting any better.

Thanks for all your good wishes though. I'll pass them on to his family.

I'll let you know when his condition changes.

CK this must be a terrible time for you, unfortunately I can relate after watching a very close friend have a very saddening death from cancer two years ago. To this day I still find myself thinking "I must tell Amanda....." and I've only recently wiped her number off my mobile's memory.

Although you haven't lost your friend yet it is clear from your posts that you are afraid you are away to. I sincerely wish I could say something here that could ease that for you.

[Sorry Belinda. I edited your note for continuity purposes. I hope you understand.]

Cheers, Harbinger,

I was lucky enough to know him for years in "real life" and when I saw the posts of support and good wishes on here they meant a very great deal.

Paul still is one of the best, loveliest and most super special people I've ever, ever known. And I know that everyone who was lucky enough to be friends with him, online or otherwise, thinks the same.

[Sorry Andrew. I hope you understand as well.]

And he's been lucky to have a decent friend like you.

Cheers, that's very nice.

But lets keep the good wishes coming.

I'll let you all know when things change.

Texas-sized *HUGZ* going out to Paul and his family and friends.

You are all in my thoughts and prayers.

Hugs from me, too. I don't know Paul that well, but Legion World creates a special kind of bond anyway. I'll keep praying for the best.

from Scotland too.

Paul is still in my thoughts.

Condolences to his family, and all here also.

Didn't interact with Looks much, but there was always some great thread he'd fostered whenever i got here.

He is going to leave a big gap in the LMBP.

As you all know Paul (who posted on here as Looks That Kill Lad) has been seriously ill for a while. Sadly, after being in a stable condition for 9 days, he deteriorated rapidly and died last night.

Paul fought his illness with immense courage and dignity and we should all be extremely proud of him for that. Even after he was given a bleak prognosis he remained extremely brave and was a support to those around him as much as everyone tried to be for him.

I’m sure everyone here who got to know him whether in real life or online will understand what a very special, funny, thoughtful and genuinely lovely person Paul was.

He’ll be very greatly missed.

-Andrew

Andrew

I didn't interacted with Paul as much as some on this board but when I did he came across as a very funny and intelligent guy....

You have my deepest sympathies for your loss, and if in any way there's anything I can do to help at this time just ask...

Keith

Damn... Andrew I'm so sorry, it sounds like you guys had an awesome friendship. That'll be he everlasting gift to you that you'll be able to cherish for he rest of your life.

I'm so very sorry, Andrew.

Paul was a wonderful person. I was convinced that he'd pull through. This seems unreal.

I'm going to miss reading his e-mails and posts. Please tell his family what an important impact he had on all of us.

I truly am at a loss for words. Expecting the worst has done little to prepare me for this tragic loss. I will miss his presence, both on the boards and behind the scenes.

Paul was an amazing person, and I cherish every moment that we had.

So sad...

Shit.

Andrew I know from things you have said that there was a strong possibility that this would happen but it still hurts.

Paul’s posts and his well written contributions to the APA always made me smile and very often made me stop and think. I was very lucky to meet him and wished I could put into writing some words that would offer comfort for you, his partner and for his family. But for once words fails me.

Thank you for taking the time to keep Paul’s internet friends informed, even though I’ll bet there were times you wished you could just walk away from it all.

My thoughts will be with you and Paul’s family over the weekend, if there is anything I can do you know my email address, just ask.

Darden

Echoing Darden's words, even with the situation Paul was in I was hoping that he'd pull through. Paul was one of the few LMBPers I've actually met in person and also one of the few people that I met over the Net that I'd truly consider a friend. There really isn't anything I can say to express how good a person he was and how much he'll be missed. My thoughts are with you and all his loved ones, and with him as well.

Bevis

hi Andrew !!

i'm so sorry for your loss !! this is horrible news, i think we all thought PAUL would, pull through !!

i had the pleasure of interacting the most with PAUL on the "LMBP" group, he always posted great topics !! he also posted often on the Olivier Coipel group !!

he'll be missed by us all here !!

as the others have said, if you need anything, just ask ....

!!!

Matthew.

I'm very sorry.

I'm gonna miss his Decepticon symbol.

Andrew, I'm very sorry for you, his partner and his family. Paul was a great guy and will be sorely missed. Thank you so much for keeping us in mind.

I'm at a loss for words, so I can only say that Paul was always one of the nicest people to talk to online and will be very deeply missed.

Des

I didn't know Paul very well, but I echo the sentiments here.

Sad day for Legion fans. My heart goes out to his family and friends.

I knew we were hoping against hope, but this is still a ton of bricks.

Andrew, please accept my condolences, and pass them along to Paul's family and friends. This is a loss for all of us, but especially for those of you who knew him day in and out. I wish I had the words to better express what a crying shame it is to lose someone so young, so good. I'll keep him in my thoughts.

Andrew,

Please accept my condolences. The truth is that I didn't know Paul, I never interacted with him, but from what you and others have said, he was obviously a great human being. If we here can do anything to help you, please let us know.

Juan

May he truly find peace in whatever afterlife there may be.

My sympathies to the many people who knew and loved him, in the real world and through the Internet.

I think of how long Paul's battle was, and that his partner, family and close friends must be exhausted as well as grief-stricken. It's so terrible and sad that a life is lost, but one so young it's even harder to understand.

Our hearts, thoughts and prayers will be with Paul's family and partner as they make the final arrangements and try to carry on. May they draw on each other's strength and love to help them get through this time of pain and anguish.

In sympathy, and with a wish for blessings for comfort.

Caroline and Scott Sharritt

My thoughts and sympathies to those who knew and loved Paul.

Wow. So many people get sick and get better, he was one of the ones I was hoping would make a full recovery. Another painful reminder not to take life & loved ones for granted. My condolences.


Tony

I had not yet had the chance to get to know Paul. If he was part of this group then he was special indeed and I am very sorry for your loss.

My heart and prayers go out to all of Paul's friends and family.

*hugz* to ya buddy.
You're the greatest.

I don't think I ever got the chance to interact here at all with Paul, but he certainly sounds like someone I would have been the better for knowing.

My sincere condolances to family & friends.

I hope you will indulge me in what has turned out to be a longer post than I originally planned... Paul was one of my closest internet friends, and I’ll miss him. I already miss him terribly. And maybe if I can share a little about how much Paul meant to me, and why, some of the posters here who didn’t know him can understand a bit more why Paul was such a wonderful person...

I feel so lucky that I was able to meet Paul in person. I had the chance to get together with him twice when I was visiting the UK a few years ago. It probably should have been three times, but something terrific came out of that first missed meeting, so I won’t complain. The day that Paul was first supposed to meet Terence, Brian (BBC/Seahorse), and me at Bar Acuda in London, he somehow got turned around. Instead of finding us, he bumped into Manuel. Ever since then, whenever Paul mentioned Manuel, I always thought back to that day in early September 2001, and how lucky for all of us that Paul got diverted on the way to the Bar...

The first time I actually met Paul in person was a couple of days later, on a street corner in the West End. We both showed up at the meeting place on time, and kind of looked back and forth at each other for a minute or two before saying “hi.” I’d seen a photo of him before, and he had a description of me, so I think we both knew who each other was... but we were both a bit shy. After we introduced ourselves, we immediately felt at ease, and decided to go somewhere to sit and talk – the Burger King in Leicester Square. I remember having mini-doughnuts, something we don’t have at Burger King in the States. We talked about everything and nothing, and by the time we parted ways outside a little later, my only regret was that we lived on opposite sides of the Atlantic, so that we couldn’t meet up more often.

I had the opportunity to get together with Paul one more time before I left London. We met Terence at an Italian restaurant and had a nice lunch and conversation, despite the pouring rain outside. I wish we’d been able to spend more time together, but Paul had to return to work. The last time I saw him, he was walking off into the rain, adjusting his headphones and pulling his black trenchcoat about him tightly against the chilly September weather.

Since then, I’ve always felt close to Paul. Maybe it was the fact that we were born just a few weeks apart, in the same month and year. (For that reason, I thought of him as a sort of internet brother – we even got the same score on the Dr. Phil test that Bevis e-mailed around a few months back. Paul’s response: “we're twins! I got 44 a well.” and “separated at birth obviously!” )

Maybe it was because Paul and I had so many interests in common – Pokemon, Transformers, videogames, and, of course, the Legion (we both liked Adam Hughes’s Dream Girl, and I busted out laughing so hard when Paul said of that pic, “I swear I nearly turned!”). We would often e-mail back and forth for days and days, just talking about Gameboy Advance or Xbox or Pikachu or Squirtle.

But really I think it was because of how sweet, and funny, and just generally all-around wonderful he was. Paul was modest – he wasn’t the kind of person to make a big fuss about himself. But I hope he knew how important he was, and still is, to so many people near and far.

Andrew, please let Paul’s mum and family, and Manuel, know how much he meant to all of us, even those of us thousands of miles away. He’ll be missed, but never forgotten.

I never really knew him, but I so wish I did. From those posts of his I read, I could tell he was very special. I'm really sorry too.

More hugs from me.

I'm too new to have known him here but from the way his family talks about him hear, I can tell he was a great guy and will be missed.

*sigh* Probably my first internet crush.

When it was realized just how many gay Legion fans there were over on the old DC board, Paul didn't hesitate to start up the LGLFF group (Legion of Gay LSH Fans & Friends).

Stu, you're very lucky. I wish I could have met Paul in person.

My condolences to Paul's family, partner, and friends.

I know exactly what you mean and I was initially worried about that. Paul wasn't the sort of person who'd push himself to the front in a crowd and it would have been easy to miss how funny he could be.

Luckily, the posts here and reactions from some people who I know who only met him a few times have shown me I was wrong.

Thank you Andrew.
I'm very sorry to hear this, Looks That Kill Lad was a fine Legionnaire and an example of outstanding service to many of us. I know LTKL never wavered in his loyalty to his friends nor his love for the Legion. I'm greatly saddened to see a need for new monuments added to the Hall of Dead Heroes and to Shanghalla and I hate it that they're for Paul.

He will be sorely missed among us.

The Yellow Kid and the Primary Color Gang

Paul was the first legion fan I ever chatted with online and possibly the first person of any kind that I chatted with online. I was nervous as a newbie, he made it easy.

My condolences to all that knew him.

I totally missed this thread until today. I remember seeing his posts pop up now and then, but it sounds like I missed out on something far greater. My condolences to all who miss him.

Eric

I'm very sorry to hear this upon loging back on to LW after a weeklong trip. Andrew, my condolences to you, Manuel, & his family. You'll all be in my prayers.

V

Is this the one you're talking about, Jim? This is from his personnel profile at the LMBP Outpost, and it's currently on the LMBP Y-group homepage.

http://www.geocities.com/lmbp_outpost/PERSONNEL/looksthatkill.jpg

I find it funny that someone who called himself "Looks That Kill" had such killer eyes...

I'm so sorry to here this. My sympathies to all his friends and family.

"I didn't know Paul very well, but I echo the sentiments here.

Sad day for Legion fans. My heart goes out to his family and friends."

Same here. My Condolences.

I never had any real contact with him, however, from reading the last few pages it's clear that there will be a lot of people who will grieve him.

My condolences to all who miss him - both real and virtual.


xx

I never knew Paul, but it seems he was very close to many of you. Please accept my condolences.

Just to let you all know that it was Paul's funeral on Monday.

His family went, as did he friends, people from the UK based Legion APA he was a member of and lots of his workmates - I think about 50 of them turned up.

It wasn't a religious service, as Paul didn't have any religious beliefs. Instead his cousin, some of his friends, his boss and his partner gave readings.

Lord of the Rings was his favourite book so I chose this passage to read:


"As they came to the gates Cirdan the Shipwright came forth to greet them. Very tall he was and his beard was long, and he was grey and old, save that his eyes were as keen as stars, and he looked at them and bowed, and said "All is now ready."

Then Cirdan led them to the Havens, and there was a white ship lying, and upon the quay beside a great white horse stood a figure all in white awaiting them. As he turned and came towards them Frodo saw that Gandalf now wore openly on his hand the Third Ring. Then those who were to go were glad, for they knew Gandalf would take ship with them.

But Sam was now sorrowful at heart, and it seemed to him that if the parting would be bitter, more grievous still would be the long road home alone. But even as they stood there and all was being made ready to depart, up rode Merry and Pippin in great haste. "It will be better three together than to ride back one alone" said Gandalf, "Well here at last, dear friends, on the shore of the Sea comes the end of our fellowship in Middle-Earth. Go in peace. I will not say; do not weep; for not all tears are bad.”

Then Frodo kissed Merry and Pippin, and last of all Sam, and went aboard; and the sails were drawn up, and the wind blew, and slowly the ship slipped away down the long grey firth; and the light of the glass that Frodo bore glimmered and was lost. And the ship went out into the High Sea and passed into the West, until at last on a night of rain Frodo smelled a sweet fragrance on the air and heard the sound of singing that came over the water. And then it seemed to him that as in a dream, the grey rain-curtain turned all to silver glass and was rolled back, and he beheld white shores and beyond them a far green country under a swift sunrise. "


I just thought I'd share it with you as everyone on here's been really supportive and seem to think a lot of Paul, which has been a big comfort to me. I've also passed on your good wishes to his family.

Very nice. Thank you for taking the time to follow up with us here.

Thanks CK. That was a very moving and beautiful passage you selected to read.

Thanks so much for letting us know. Acceptance is hard, sometimes. I wish I had gotten to know him better.

I've been thinking about him so much these past couple of weeks. I wish I had kept in closer contact with him than I had been, and not played the whole "I'll shoot him an email tomorrow" game that is so easy to do. If I've learned anything from this, it's to not take for granted that you will get the chance to do tomorrow what you should be doing today.

thanks for sharing that reading with us, Andrew !

and i hope everything went as well as could be expected ....

Matthew.

Thanks Andrew.

That was such a lovely passage you read.

Thank you for sharing, Andrew.

Thanks. It was very moving.

Thank you for sharing Andrew, that was a beautiful and fitting passage.

One last thing - it's too late to send flowers or anything like that now but if anyone wants to make a donation it should go to the intensive care unit at Chelsea and Westminster hospital.

Not sure how you go about it if you don't live in the UK but I know that's what his colleagues did.

Now that I'm back, I just wanted to express my sorrow over Paul's death. I remember his contributions to our little club very well. Though he wasn't among those I was closest to, we definitely had some memorable and sympathetic interaction together.

My thoughts are with his family and friends, and I hope things are jumping over there in the Gray Havens...

This will now be an archive in memory of Paul. I'll keep it open in case anyone wishes to add their voice to it.

Thanks Gary . Paul will always be missed .

Oh my God...I have no words...

Just because you dont know someone doesnt mean that you can't empathise with them and send them and their family (both real and virtual) good thoughts.

I send the best of thoughts to LTKL's family and friends

Paul's birthday was a couple of days ago.



Happy birthday, Paul. I'll never forget your friendship. I miss you.

You know, I would have really loved to play City of Heroes with Paul. I think he would have enjoyed it. Funny the little things you think of.

If I knew Looks That Kill Lad better I would be filled with more remorse then now.I do wist Paul's family and friends my best regards as LTKL will be missed.....even by a stranger

I stumbled upon this thread a few months ago and did not want to speak up because I thought a stranger's pathetic remorse wouldn't be accepted. But I get really attached to words. I looked over Paul's posts and I've read his profile at the LMBP Outpost. I can get a general feeling as to what kind of person he was. Without knowing him I already miss him.

"May your soul be in heavenly peace."