The 1st thing I've done in honor of my fiance Caliente is is throw a lavish pool party to break in the wave pool I just got for her. Oh and using my industry contacts I've got Oasis to play at it. Then when the time is right I will join the band in serenading my lady fair.

OASIS!!! How did you know that I them???

Ohmigosh... Actor Lad honey... I think I've fallen for you all over again...

And for any indiscretions on my part... I apologize profusely.

Mortal, does not you fiance lust for another, an evil man that is no where are good looking as you.

Quiet. Don't ruin the moment you.

Why it's my duty as gentleman to pay heed to the things you favor. It would be remiss of me not to.

Bast, like so many soap addicts, has a lot of catchinfg up to do

*sigh* I definitely remember why I proposed to you Aaron.

Perhaps I should rephrase my vocabulary.

You're going to marry her, provide for her while she boinks Tamper Lad, who thinks you wear a dress?

Bah! Twas nothing more then tabloid gossip, for I know what truely ignites her passion.

"...sounds of the hourglass, so are the Days Of Our Lives" - cue appropriate musical theme...

Oh, no. She did not just say that. The fur's about to fly...

<lets loose with her firepower>

Yeah, it must of have a picture I was staring at when I saw them dry humping each other a few hours ago, common, I may be the protector of women, but be a man and ditch that <span style="font-size: 9px;">ho!</span>

<Must send communique to Tamper Lad>

Know your placcce, mortal.

rwworrr

(swallows the fire)

What he said.

But...but you were groomed to become the next evil genius cheerleader...

Then you'll denouce Tamperous Lad, this moment, and never cohort in romance with him again?

And know yours cat. Eat my fire all you like, I still won't be impressed by you and your wannabe drama.

Yes, Tamper and I had a little triste. What?? Immortal house pets are perfect?? Well good for you!! The rest of us make mistakes.

But this is my celebration with my fiance and you can leave now.

No, I said no one would suspect the evil cheerleader. I never claimed to be one. #1 -- I'm not a cheerleader anymore. And #2 -- I'm only evil sometimes and usually not in a meglamaniac kinda way.

I don't make promises I can't keep, so, no, I can't make that assertion. But I can say with the utmost confidence that, so long as I'm spoken for by Actor Lad, I will not be romantically involved with Tamper Lad.

Then, Cali, i hope you and Actor Lad will be happy

HOW DARE YOU!!!

(Bast moves her hands over Caliente)

Pain of the heart, never to sooth
Love be lost on the flame strictened fool!

(the emotion of love is removed from Caliente)

Okay, that's it. I've gotta get some kind of magic protection stuff going on.

<uses microwave powes to alter the spell's wavelengths and render it useless>

All right, I've put up with enough of this. You. Bast. This is not your business. Leave us be now. I mean it. Now. Get out. And stop scaring Oasis -- I really like that band.

Bast while I respect you and your works there shall be none of that while I'm around.

Now now, Mistress of Cats,
I know how to make this curse scat
For this foul deed you've done today
I'll take your tongue to save the day!

Thank you LAM, that is very sweet of you. I just hope Tamper doesn't take the news too badly...

(tounge regrows)

Enforcements!!!

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

You called!

I see the pitiful have learned some parlor tricks.

The Third Race does not take likely to attacks.

<activates protective shield around amulet as i conjure up ear plugs to protect me from Banshee's malevolent attack>

*sigh* So much for the romantic gesture... I can't even hear over the ringing!!

Perhaps we should steal Oasis and make our leave Aaron... this thread doesn't seem safe anymore.

As always, it is a crime punishable by death.

I don't want any to come to harm but I know how to defend myself from Children of Oberon.

<conjures earplugs to protect Actor Lad just in case>

AHAHAHAHA!

He's probably heard some rumor about iron, that was centuries ago, we're immune now.

Like we would have evovled over the eons we've lived.

You've lived over particles? How was the view?

Luna! I thought we were friends...

<Stand with Actor Lad>

I don't know how much help I'll be but... I'm here with you. We'll stand together.

<amulet gives Actor Lad telepathy because he cannot possibly hear Selene while wearing ear-plugs!!!!>

<conjures up invisible shield to protect Caliente and Actor Lad...but only to the extent that they can defend themselves...>

The shield!

(the Weird Sisters blast the shield to particles)

(Blasts Oasis, destroying the band)

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

(steals Oasis' souls so they can't pass on and gives them to Bast)

<shield is reactivated - it is immune to magical attack!>

Okay, I've stayed out of this mess because it didn't seem my place. But destroying Oasis?? That's definitely crossing some lines.

You, Banshee, are an evil, evil lady.

(scratches the shield apart)

Who said that we only use magic, the Third Race has kept it's self hidden well, no one knows our secrets.

<arrives from sudl, does environmental scan, realises hopeless situation. Curses Actor Lad>

what have you gotten into?

(Turns into her monster worm form and eats Frio, then spits her back out)

You taste like diarrhea! Yuck!

(throws a sound wave at her)

<conjures up another shield to protect Frio>

*facepalms*

And things just keep getting better and better, don't they?

Smart cookie, someone should give him a reward.

...and curses the damned board protection from preventing Frio's demise...

Silly girls, now you've cost humanity the greatest rock band of the past decade. *sob*

I'm not sure whether to be offended or angry. I think I'll just go with grossed-out. I've definitely never been happier with the earmuffs designed in my costume. That Joey guy's my hero!!

And thanks for the help LAM.

Friends?!?

Friends don't attack my land sister!

She called for the Third Race, we were sequestered to come, there is nothing I can do about that, YOU CAN STAND DOWN!

Make it easier on yourself.

<surrounds Tamper Lad with a protective shield immune to even Bast's malicious manuevers>

You wish, where do you think that alloy for that trinket came from...

Wake up the dawn and ask her why
A dreamer dreams she never dies
Wipe that tear away now from your eye
Slowly walking down the hall
Faster than a cannon ball
Where were you when we were getting high?

Some day you will find me
Caught beneath the landslide
In a champagne supernova in the sky
Some day you will find me
Caught beneath the landslide
In a champagne supernova
A champagne supernova in the sky.

I know!! Honestly. I'm the reason Cali even knew who they were... and now they're gone. There's no justice in the world.

Oh-ho...Let me guess - the Nefar Nebula?!

<explodes in a ball of light, nullifying all magic in a 200 metre radius>

(scratches LAM's throat)

She came in here, butted into my business -- what'd you expect me to do?? I mean, so I've got a little bit of a temper... it goes with the fire powers.

I thought we were closer than that. I stood up to Pagan Lass and the Ranger for you. I put up with your insults and your abuse. And for what? I don't even know you anymore.

(looks at the others)

What are we going to do?

<surrounds Frio, Caliente and Actor Lad in a tremendous anti-explosion aura - including moi>

Arg, fine you want to play hardball? The gloves are off!

*calls Cuchulain to deal with The Banshee*

<...and mutates an antidote to protect me from Bast's venom-claws>

Laugh!

(the all bust out laughing)

Magic stopper, please, and for the last time, we use more thant he mere magics you're used to!

(blasts Tamper Lad)

And I was just beginning to like him, Luna even call him a "smart cookie."

<Fear not, Actor Lad, while my protective shield is still in your system, nothing may - and will - harm you...>

<Reappears from the Secure Undisclosed Location>

Nuts, knew that wouldn't work. Sorry kids shouldn't have irked the third race like you did.

That fool!

But there's a problem, he can only defeat me as the Crom-Cruach, which is a from I am not taking at the moment! HAHAHAHA!

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Cali, I thought the black-haired one was lusting after the bug? And doesn't the loud, evil Oasis-killer have a wayward son to bother?

Damn girl, how'd you make so many enemies so fast??

Hm. I reallyyyy don't think it would be wise to get involved, huh?

Have fun beating each other up, you guys.

(strokes Tamper Lad's shoulder)

He is a smart cookie, I like this one, can we keep him...alive?

<hits Banshee with a debilitating case of laryngitis>

Evil Geniuses know not to tempt the fates. As for you Actor Lad, I'm holding you responsible for Caliente's safety.

(nullifies the amulet and teleports LAM to the pits of the Underworld)

Not. Helping. Frio. *glares*

<detects Tamper Lad's attitude to be the result of residue from the Nefar Nebula...and negates all pretensions of loyalty - except to all mankind>

Ah mystic fates, just so you know I'm here as an observer.

Awww, it's cute how he's a wuss and still trying to be nice to you Cali. Especially after you dropped him like your dirty laundry.

*uses The Dues Ex Machina to restore everything back to the way it was and calm everyone down*

My abuse, you mean my worrying about your safety when you toed the line of evil, my insults, is that when I made sure Pagan Lass couldn't curse you!

You attacked first, she wouldn't have called us here if you didn't anger her, why don't you just apologize to Bast!

Because it wasn't her business in the first place!! This was between me, Actor Lad and Tamper Lad alone. (Incidently, not suuuuch a bad place to be. )

Fine. *pouts* If it means salvaging my friendship with you, Luna, I'll do it. I'm sorry I blasted you Bast. It was wrong of me. I regret my actions and offer my humblest apologies.

Nullified!

Don't make me send out the army of Julie Newmar!

Really, really not helping Frio. Really.

<from deep within the Underworld...

I spit on Julie Newmar! My loyalties are with Eartha Kitt!

Hmm...I am the protector of women, people were talking, I was just trying to steer you into the right path, being that I can't interfere directly, unless provoked.

We will have Anubis restore the band in 3-2-1, now!

Caliente, as a gift for your humblness, I will give you this fire kitten, Ember, that with love and nuturing will become a great fire tiger, that can never be extinguished. Will you accept my gift as a form of mutual forgivance?

You know what girls? You and actor lad have made your bed. You guys can lie in it. I'm just here to watch.

<Teleports in a glass of port and a cigar. Departs.>

Oh Cali DON'T CALL ME, you've obviously got issues. Evil Geniuses don't dig chicks with issues.

Conjures up Worldsmith to keep Tamper lad company

Come on y'all let's stop all the fussing & the fueding! I'll take everyone out for frosty chocolate milkshakes, my treat!

Oooh, kitty!! *pets it* Mmm... warm.

<looks at Bast slightly suspiciously>

It won't, like, try to kill me in the middle of the night, will it?

That is very creepy... I don't want people watching me and Aaron in bed. And... eep!! I won't call, I won't call! But... we can still be friends... right?

Mmm... I knew there was another reason I loved you.

<nearly forgets Actor lad's act of deux machina and re-appears amongst the gathered hordes in battle>

Oh suck it up and deal Cali. You didn't used to be this uptight...

*smiles slyly and chases after Tamper Lad*

Wait up Greenie, I wanna hear about what Cali's been up to without me!!

<Worldsmith looks at Frio and takes an instant shine to her>

Oh, Caliente, no, Ember's a sweet one, and it makes no poop, a little bit of smoke, and it doesn't burn stuff unless it wants to!

Um you've got some issues. Evil Geniuses don't need the baggage.

Shut your mouth, you can't talk to a woman like that (spits acid on him), you pig.

Thanks Bast. It's really nice of you to give me a cat... I promise to treat her well. I accept your gift of mutual forgiveness with open arms.

<picks Ember up and pets her>

And I do not have issues Tamper Lad!! You're the evil genius here!! I just wanted to be friends... geez, you act like that's a sin or something.

Doesn't everyone here have issues? We do read comics.

If you people don't mind, may i join you in a celebratory chocolate milkshake?

<cautiously tickles Ember's chin>

...maybe this kitty will want some very warm milk?

Oooh cool!! Uh, what's a Worldsmith?

(Zaps in a milkshake for LAM)

Not poisoned, I swear.

Ya know Luna was right about that Caliente. I should never question the evaluation of the mystic fates again.

I can't believe I let her seduce me (tho the boinking part was quite grand, it's been a while, you know evil genius holed up in a SUDL and all that). Now I am free to pursue my grand designs again without that kissy, kissy public display of affection. It was really weakening my public image.

...the man makes a good point...

I'm glad everything turned out fine, with the cat and Cat Goddess and the engagement and the band.

We'll be going, now.

Uh, he/it was this alien dude with horns who likes to chomp on a fine Cuban cigar - reshapes worlds for amusement.

I never said anything bad about Caliente, I just didn't like her being with you, she has a purpose in the future, a good one and she doesn't need you.

I may do things in a way people can't comprehend, but I have my reasons, and while my friendship with her may have strained, I STILL know that you are a BUTT-HEAD!

Really?? And what did Luna say about Caliente?? (Why, yes, I am a horrible gossip, how'd you guess?)

Wow. Cool!! Does that mean he's gonna hang around with me now?? I always wanted a li'l smoking dude who could reshape worlds. Or if I'd known it existed, I might've at least.

Bummer. I was just starting to think that Greenie might actually have some merits... such a shame.

He's a butt head.

And here I'd been thinking he'd be a mean, green lovin' machine. *shrug* What're you gonna do?

Hmmm...there is this cute-looking guy with a beard who makes objects heavier with but a mere gesture of his hand...His name is Star Boy...

Oh!! I Star Boy. And he's so sexy with the dark skin and white costume. Well, white and starfield. But still.

But, he doesn't have a beard in the comics.

*Sighs* You can have the dark skin...I'll take the one with the beard...

<Studies thread carefully>

Hmmm... Something else else is not right here. When did Great(to the 312th power) Grand Mother start hanging around with Oberon's Serving Wenches?

And where are Great(to the 312th power) Grand Father and STU-Lion? She would never leave Egypt without them.

<Vanishes>

I continue to be hurt by your baseless accusations and hold your intransigence as the root cause of the deleterious turn of events between she-who-must-not-be-named upon pain of my wrath and myself.

Pagan Lass, there is something you may need to know.

Magic, energy and power are all a centerpoint in the universe. All those who are of pure godhood are members of the Third Race, those of the mightiest. Now, I lived in Egypt, along with my brother Anubis and other members of my family. Our connection with Oberon has strongly deteriorated, becoming a more independent force, as you know me.

So I have actually known the Sister for many eons.

But that matters very little.

What in the name of LardLad's beard?

<writes it all up>

Let's see...

...Tamper Lad/Caliente/Actor Lad love triange...

...Bast who may or not actually be thee Bast...

...Avalonians attacking people again on Legion World soil...something needs to be done about that...

...Tamper Lad totally in the right for once? I just can't see him breaking any laws here...

Space Ranger's insight might be useful here.

Space Ranger, eh? It would be like talking to yourself, Cobie...

(enters with STU-Lion)

Did you hear that buffonery, Lion?

As if there could be another Bast!

Who does this Cobalt thin he is, acting as is he were dictator?

He does not define the actions here, no matter how much he thinks he does.

You forgot the most surprising part of all -- there was a love tiff and Cobalt Kid was nowhere to be found!! Usually he's in the center, is he not...?

(Hm...Cali is wise *and* cute--a tough combo to beat... )

(That's why all the boys love and fight over me. )

An attractive woman, you are, you proudly grace the beauties of Legion World, such as Spellbinder, Emerald Empress, Harbinger, White Raven, Space Tart, Arachne, Fat Cramer, Luna, Selene, Phoebe, Banshee, Gina DC, I, too, have been thrown in with the best of the loveliest.

Aww, thanks Bast. The ladies here are a pretty special bunch. I'm lucky to be in such company...

Not all, Cali...i could cat-sit Ember once in a while, but all i can be to you is a Hostess Chocolate Cupcake supplier...

They also serve who stand and supply cheap desserts.

Thanks for the offer LAM!! Frio's decided she's Ember's 'other mommy' though... so I think we're set for the moment. I'll letcha know if that changes, though.

No probs, Cali...

I have some sour milk and fly-blown pizza that might be up your alley, OM...

I still think Miner needs a lady love. In fact, if it doesn't happen soon, I may just have to get one of my girlfriends pregnant as a penalty against Legion World...

It would be mighty interesting if Space Ranger and Space Tart hook up...it would be a match made in the Antares Gemini Cluster...

Isn't Selene in lust with Miner? Doesn't she count...?

I believe I now have a platform to take to the LW Constitution Convention.

It is very interesting Goddess, that you leave your OWN Great(to the 312th power) Granddaughter off of that list.

I kid, I kid! Don't forget that out of every 6-16 (depending on how you look at it), 1 of my children ends up a LMBer! (Way to go Numf-El and Umber!)

Do you know how many grandchildren I have, more than I have claws, how funny that you would defy me, I thought you loyal.

Is Numf still dead?

Well, his ghost has been hanging out, so that pretty much guarantees he'll rejoin the living eventually. Rather than get all upset about it, I say he just enjoys all poltergeist-related activities he can do in the meantime.

Do you know how many grandchildren I have, more than I have claws, how funny that you would defy me, I thought you loyal. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Arial, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">The answer to that is simple, ONE! ME!

And No, I wouldn't defy my Great(to the 312th power) Grand Mother, the ancient Egyptian Cat Goddess, BAST!

But you're another story...

Foreshadowing.

Your key to quality literature.

Man. For a thread that was meant to be a sweet gesture, there sure is a lot of violence here...

Also remember the rule that any character introduced very late in the narrative is toast. Especially if they are named "Young so-and-so.." as the way to show a world gone mad is to show parents mourning their kids.

Aye, I just don't get why people would do that.

*gives Cali a nice bouquet to get the thread back to the way it should be*

Aww. Thank you Aaron.

<leaps into AL's arms>

Take me away honey, we've got a wedding to plan!

I'm shamed.

OfF to the finest of dinners we go!

Yay!! this one!!