A large, extravagant lobby is scene immediately upon entrance, causing many visitors to wonder how in the world did the Office of Security afford such luxury?
Immediately two large statues are seen:On the right, one of a beautiful woman, with the Emerald Eye hovering next to her. On the bottom of the statue reads: “
The Emerald Empress, who reminded us that there is always hope and always a chance to change”.
On the right, a muscular, powerful looking figure stands mightily. On the bottom of the statue reads: “
Space Ranger, the bravest of us all, who stood for truth and justice.”
Beyond the statues reads a plaque:
The Office of Security,
Legion World.
Staff Chief of Security: Cobalt Kid
Co - Deputy Chiefs of Security: Pagan Lass & Matlock
full powers of the Security Chief, answerable to Cobalt KidSenior Security Officer : Invisible Brainiac
seniority decision making over other security officers excluding the Chief and co-Chiefs of Security.Co - Captains, Mystic Crimes Division: High Priestess Viviane & Pizzazz
seniority decision making over other security officers in mystical natured crimes excluding the Chief and co-Chiefs of Security, and Senior Security Officer.Honorary Space Ranger Position Everyday Girl
Bodyguard to the Chief of Security: Arachne
Security Officers: Shark Lad
Blockade Boy
Dev-Em
Kara
Furball
Future
Dedman
Frio
Roxy
Stormer
Jetta
Caliente
Disaster Boy
Honorary Security Officers: Hrun the Barbarian & Stoopid Cat
Intern to the Chief of Security: Jailbait Lass
Please also be aware that there are three ultra-secret security officers on Legion World, whose names I will not, and am under no obligation to reveal.Security Committee:The Office of Security is run by a joint committee of the Legion of former Deputy Leaders (LMB) and the Legion World Founders. Cobalt Kid (Chairperson) is the Chairperson of this committee and that is a position he holds for life, and thus cannot be removed by a LMB leader or the Legion of former Deputy Leaders. Also on this committee are Matlock and Abin Quank, Co-Chiefs of the Office of Security. The Committee is needed for major decision making processes and reform within the Office of Security.
The Security Committee does not need to be alerted to minor decisions, such as the issuing of warrants or arresting criminal suspects. If it so deems, the Committee may call a meeting in order to intervene during the procedure in reaction to acts by the Security Office; however, it does not proactively guide or execute policy.
The LMBP Leader (current) has the power to veto an act passed by the Securty Committee. It can only be overruled by a majority vote by the Legion of Former Deputy Leaders in unison with a majority vote of the Legion World founders in unison with a vote by Cobalt Kid, founder of the Office of Security.
What are the Duties of the Office of Security?: Guard Legion World from: external invasions from large forces or singular beings, internal threats from persons in the act of criminal behavior.
The Office of Security does not support the use of Chip in Head TechnologyPlease note, the original Security Office thread ran here from page 1 - 111, until moving here. That office still exists as a branch of the Security Office and is manned by Cobalt Kid & support staff as the LMB Office of Internal Affairs
![[Linked Image]](http://sabreslegends.com/lw/2005/cobie_noir_thumb.jpg)
Citizens of Legion World! In this era of uncertain leadership, I have been able to secure an extremely large amount of government money, and have lavishly spent it on buying a newer, larger, better furnished Security Office for this hard-working bureau.
With this move well underway, I'd like to announce the opening of the brand-new Security Office! Please do not hesitate to come by and let us know if you're having any problems on Legion World, and if you need a LMB Security Officer to assist you.
Please also recognize that you have a responsibility, as a lawful citizen, to report all wrong-doing to us immediately.
I'd also like to announce that we are officially having tryouts here, to accept new members as Security Officers on Legion World! The three most active Officers, myself, Matlock and High Priestess Viviane will be the judges.
Come and show us what you got!
Love the new place.
I still need a man, but I need one to...marry.
The Priestess of Avalon needs a spouse and I choose...COBALT KID!
!
Viv, I'm shocked! I...I...I don't know what to say!
Except--YES!
On my homeworld of Ggrrgg, males usually ask the females though, so I must ask—will you marry me?
YES!
When's a good day for you?
What's good for you? Shall we wed soon?
As soon as possible, how about Sunday?
Sorry, no way you two. I don't want to be the third wheel around here with newlyweds running around. I'm putting my foot down! NO FISHING OFF THE COMPANY PIER!!!
Plus aren't you still married to someone CK?
Perhaps bigomy is all the rage on Ggrrgg as well, Matlock dear
Well, bigamy is pretty common on Ggrrgg! But, I guess it's up to Viv! I sure haven't seen Spacey in a long time, that's for sure...
And, b-but, Matlock, you can be the minister at the ceremony! Wouldn't that be cool?!
Sunday sounds great Viv--maybe we should have our pre-wedding plans on that day? How about Monday night for the actual wedding?
<kiss on the cheek>
The sky is falling.
Cobie is getting hitched AND spelled "bigamy" correctly, completely under his own power.
Surely, it's a sign of the End Times.
Wanta be in the wedding, Pov? It's sure to be festive...
I love how things come together so well.
Matlock, I would love it if you were to minister over the wedding, it's better than letting Priestess Fallon do it, she's a bit of a novice.
As for Space Tart, well, you all know how "upset" I can get if someone tries to ruin my happiness, but I don't think that'll be a problem.
"Bigamy? It's big o' you too! It's big o' all of us!"
Originally posted by High Priestess Viviane:
I still need a man, but I need one to...marry.
The Priestess of Avalon needs a spouse and I choose...COBALT KID!
I think you need to get that Magic 8-Ball fixed.
No, really.
Because obviously it said something like "Signs Point To Yes" when it should have said something like "ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FREAKING MIND?"
I'm not a gyspy, I don't use the magic ball. Are envious, do you want, Cobie, because your not breaking us up?
Have you not been keeping up with the boy's history? Do you not know what you're in for?
He is going to make me very happy.
Uh-huh.
You aren't thinking of having kids, are you?
I've already had about hundred or so in my lifetime.
I apply for membership, but I was already kicked out of the Sherrifs' Office, Southlake Minimall Security, and The Boy Scouts....thrice. Don't suppose I have the best refernces
Originally posted by Eryk Davis Ester:
"Bigamy? It's big o' you too! It's big o' all of us!"
I didn't even think you owned a pair!
OM, we need you to be in festive mood, right now, not worrying! What's the worst that can happen, a demon from the future sets fire to Legion World? (Um...don't answer)
Both you and EDE need to get ready for all the pre-wedding planning!
You'll both be helping, right?
Well congrats you two...
What the heck did I miss?
Yes! Abin, you've returned! I can't remember what you've missed, other than Viv and I are about to be married in the next few days!
I hope you, Space Ranger, Stoopid Cat and Pagan Lass will all be attending! The festivities begin on Sunday and the wedding is on Monday.
Oh, and the Security Office has just gotten a new building, and Harbinger and Yellow Kid have had a brief term as pseudo-leaders (not elected, not recognized by all). Yes, that's right, Harbinger had some power on Legion World. I think you're reaction to this might deserve it's own thread
Hi Cobster!
You and Viv getting married, Whoda Thunk It!
Please tell me Viv is familiar with your history...
(musing over the idea of Harbinger as LW leader)
it!
[sarcasm]You know me, the nieve little pup[/sarcasm]
Yo, Viv...
Demon Children Determined to destroy Legion World...
Sound Familiar?
I eat demons for breakfast, especially the Mullokies, yum!
<heavy sigh>
OK Viv...
<second heavy sigh>
I'll do whatever I can to make your wedding the production of the century.
I hope you two have a happy joining.
Move Morgause, the maid of honor is coming through!
Originally posted by High Priestess Viviane:
No hookers.
So much for the bachelor party.
Originally posted by Abin Quank:
<heavy sigh>
We tried, man. It's all we can do.
Originally posted by Outdoor Miner:
Originally posted by High Priestess Viviane:
[b]No hookers.
OM, I'm counting on you to set up the bachelor party! Since there are too many LWers that would make a fitting best man, I'm going to have let there be a whole bunch of 'em!
With Abin setting up the ceremony, you're up for the stag!
Is there any other kind on LW?
OK, I got the space tickets for a one way trip to the outer rim. and the manacles, and the feathers. Can some one else get the camera for the obligitory picture of him and the hookers.
Now, all we got to do is figure out whether we tie him to the lamp post naked here in Legion world or somewhere out on the rim?
I reckon if we time it right, leave the mobile phone on vibrate so we can ring him to wake him up, he should be able to catch an early morning shuttle back just in time for the start of the wedding.
If we want a picture of Cobie with some hookers, we can just take one down from the Security Office reception room.
I was thinking we'd strand him in the Phantom Zone and just beam him back right before the ceremony.
Yeah but where's the fun in just pressing a button to get rid of him.
It's not a proper Stag night unless we drag him around the town from pub to pub until he is totally rat ar**d then do embarrassing things to him.
I'd think that if you were the one pressing the button, it'd be a hoot. We could hold a lottery to see who gets the honor.
We should definitely still do the Stag Night. It'll be a challenge to find something that'll actually embarass him.
Put me down to for a dozen tickets.
And I can not belive it would be beyond the combined might of Legion World to find things that embarass Cobie. (it'll make a change from our normal game of "blame cobie" )
This will be one to remember!
I believe gentlemen, that stag night is tonight! This could get crazy...
Originally posted by Outdoor Miner:
If we want a picture of Cobie with some hookers, we can just take one down from the Security Office reception room.
I was thinking we'd strand him in the Phantom Zone and just beam him back right before the ceremony.
I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that.
Don't believe the scandalous lies they tell, Viv! It's tradition for males to create embarrassing stories of their friends before their weddings!
If you get laid, I'll lay you in six feet underneath the ground.
Dont worry Viv, We shall get Cobie so laid back he'll be virtually horizontal by the time of the wedding.
Oy!
I guess I should be lucky that he has "great" friends like you to keep him temporarily celibate.
I do believe that a young lady named Jailbait Lass was just over at the Security Office preparing a very large hollow cake for Cobie's Stag Party.
I hope she gets baked in it.
Unless dedman shows up, we probably won't have any of that stuff for the party.
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
Don't believe the scandalous lies they tell, Viv! It's tradition for males to create embarrassing stories of their friends before their weddings!
I thought it was tradition to lie about what actually happens at the batchelor party.
Originally posted by Abin Quank:
Does baked = nekkid?
Yeah!
Oh! And it also means dead.
Originally posted by High Priestess Viviane:
Oy!
I guess I should be lucky that he has "great" friends like you to keep him temporarily celibate.
Considering his history, we all have a vested interest in keeping Cobie celibate.
Especially
after the wedding...
As a show of utter committment, I shall remain celibate until the wedding night with Viv, and have since our engagement two days ago!
I mean, really, what could Abin, Far and OM have in mind that could be bad? Er...that's a rhetorical question.
In related news, crime has gone down 34% for some reason.
viv, can i be a brides maid/dude? think...bachlorette party.
If you'd like, we could get Prison-wife Lad to be the entertainment.
I thoght we weren't supposed to provide that sort of thing.
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
As a show of utter committment, I shall remain celibate until the wedding night with Viv, and have since our engagement two days ago!
One whole day. It must be killing you.
In related news, crime has gone down 34% for some reason.
Viv's relatives left town.
girls and disaster boy gone wild!!!!
Originally posted by disaster boy:
girls and disaster boy gone wild!!!!
You got it! Except my clothes shall remain on.
Originally posted by Outdoor Miner:
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
[b]As a show of utter committment, I shall remain celibate until the wedding night with Viv, and have since our engagement two days ago!
In related news, crime has gone down 34% for some reason.
Maybe I should invite them back.
I assumed they would be here for the ceremony.
Most likely, Morgaine and Igraine are sharing the Maid of Honor duties.
this dosn't leave me much time to plan a kick nass wedding shower...much less order the strippers. oh well, i guess i can just stop by the snake pit bar on the way home.
and when will i find time to buy a gift? hmmmm, i think whips may come in handy for this marriage.
Originally posted by disaster boy:
this dosn't leave me much time to plan a kick nass wedding shower...much less order the strippers. oh well, i guess i can just stop by the snake pit bar on the way home.
and when will i find time to buy a gift? hmmmm, i think whips may come in handy for this marriage.
None of that bondage stuff for me, that's Cobie and his other wife, I'll be his modest and sensible wife, with the country club membership and my Costco card.
I don't think anyone who marries Cobie will remain modest and sensible for long.
But it would be fun to bet on how long you'd manage to stay that way.
Hey OM, where do you want this huge vat of Jello putting? I think we need to keep it cold untill the girls arrive. Do you think 6 will be enough for the first half hour?
You might want to throw at least one hunky guy into the Jell-o vat with the girls. After all, like half the men attending are gay, and will need something to look at
Never let it be said that the Bachelor Party of Cobalt Kid didn't leave *all* in attendence utterly shocked and awed by the debauchery!
Er...that is, the debauchery of the attendees, not the groom...
Cru, dont let the secret out too soon, what do you think we have planned for Cobie, in all his glory
Originally posted by The Crusader:
You might want to throw at least one hunky guy into the Jell-o vat with the girls. After all, like half the men attending are gay, and will need something to look at We could ask Semi to loan us Troy, Biff, and Duke for the evening along with Candy, Babbette, and Yasmine.
Viv couldn't object to that show.
Originally posted by Faraway Lad:
Hey OM, where do you want this huge vat of Jello putting?
Right below the trapeeze over there will do, Faraway.
For those of us less inclined to debauch, I'm breaking out the old-school pinball and other games I had during my Deputy Leader days.
Britney Spears Alexander Federline! That engagement was fast!!!
Isn't Cobalt's Motto: "The quicker the better."
and you still want to marry him?
It's a "quality" thing not a "quantity" thing.
Hey, hey, hey! Say what you want, but my skills in bed have become the stuff of legend. Fast, slow, whatever you like, I can provide.
It's just the emotional connection afterward that I've had a problem with
You better have a connection with the frying pan, I like eggs in the morning.
Um, Viv, I hate to break it to you, but I'm expecting you're pagan cooking skills to come in handy...
(And with history as my reasons, it might be good if your eggs weren't fixed in any way by me
)
You're lucky I'm a good cook.
i'll get you two a frying pan for your wedding. cast iron.
Originally posted by disaster boy:
i'll get you two a frying pan for your wedding. cast iron.
It'll come in handy on Space Tart, I mean for Space Tart...
*Gulp*...breakfast sounds like it might be awkward...
Probably like that scene in Kill Bill, with Vivica A. Fox and Uma Thurman.
Yup...that's about as awkward as it gets.
OK, haven't stopped in awhile because of all the craziness.
Jailbait Lass, take out your note pad and get ready to post this message to all Security Officers and the general public:
1. The High Priestess Viviane is currently wanted for High Treason against Legion World, among a series of other crimes. She is to be brought in immediately. All members of her Royal family are also to be arrested, excluding the Sorceress Morgause, who appears to be on our side.
On a sidenote, Priestess' position in the Security Office is now vacant.
2. The Royal Inquisitor has once more appeared and caused utter destruction. He has murdered Dustin Hoffman, destroyed my beloved Supergirl Robot and destroyed the old HQ Building of the LMB on Legion World. Matlock is currently handling this case.
3. All Security Officers are to report back if possible and pitch in where they can. I'd also like to officially extend the offer to join the Security Office to the Red Bee who has proved invaluable so far, and has recieved the highest recommendation from Matlock.
This offer is also open to Disaster Boy, on a probationary non-evil basis, to join us in stopping Viviane. You will be well compensated, can get your revenge on Viviane and will have adoring fans screaming your name, as all Security Officers do.
Please take a moment Lolita, to take this all in, before we continue...
4. And lastly, I now must go on my own personal quest, as I have lost my powers. Incidently, Reboot has been a major ally in this battle, even though the two of us do not see eye to eye. In helping me destroy all the Cobalt clones (but one, actually), I was depowered from his mechanisms.
Usually, I would go to Doctor One for such a thing, or even Mearl Dox, but neither are anywhere to be found currently. Reboot's latest comments also lead me to believe that he might not be willing to help me...so I have to turn to other means.
I fear this problem is more a spiritual one, and I know who to turn to:
MAYAVALE I go to Dr. Mayavale to find a cure for this problem. Where I shall find him, I do not know. But I have a sneaking suspicion where
to start .
All Security Officers who return are to rejoin the fight against Viviane with Yellow Kid and Faraway Lad and all others helping out. I only ask that one warrior join me on my quest, on this hard journey.
Hrun the Barbarian, I ask that you return to Legion World and join your comrade in arms, and fight gloriously beside me on this heroic journey! Old friend and brother, I will be awaiting thee on my way...
<exits>
(steals the liquor, then leaves)
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
I fear this problem is more a spiritual one, and I know who to turn to: [b]MAYAVALE
[/b]
Do you think he'll help you, given the number of times you have betrayed him in your past lives?
*ahem*
Talk to the hand darling. A twelve foot hand that is. I get the feeling that crate in your hand marked Property of the Security Office ought to stay here. I'll apologize if I'm wrong but I think I just whipped your sister's ass a few hours ago didn't I?
Steling booze is a sin, you know.
Should we go back inside and discuss it?
-heh heh- I thought not.
Oh boys!
I found something that might belong here. Some skinny little Goth witch was running out the door with this.
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
4. And lastly, I now must go on my own personal quest, as I have lost my powers. Incidently, Reboot has been a major ally in this battle, even though the two of us do not see eye to eye. In helping me destroy all the Cobalt clones (but one, actually), I was depowered from his mechanisms.
[b]Hrun the Barbarian, I ask that you return to Legion World and join your comrade in arms, and fight gloriously beside me on this heroic journey! Old friend and brother, I will be awaiting thee on my way...
<exits> [/b]
Hrun Has heard you call oh Noble one. I shall await your pleading for my assistance in Shakes bar.
Listen Colbalt or any other security officers my man has been hurt, so you better get off your backsides stop drinking coffee and find out who did it. Or my lollypops are going to discover parts of your anatomy you didn't know you had
Ouch! That sounds painful! Hope you all are listening, I wouldn't want a mad Gigglebot Girl after me.
Originally posted by DarkPriestess Viviane:
(steals the liquor, then leaves)
At least you took the good stuff first.
<via Jailbait Lass’s intercom>
Don’t worry Gigi, we’re on it! I’m currently investigating and have found some interesting things…
While the docs at Medicus One do what they can, we’ll find the culprits. Obviously, Viviane and the Royal Inquisitor are largely to blame, but I think I may have uncovered a larger culprit partially responsible for this mess…
The Bizarro Cobalt clone?
Bob, thanks for all your help. I need you at Medicus bubba. I'd love to take you with us back to the 20th century to see Superboy but I don't know how I'd explain a gay green giant to the rubes. Chief Parker might not understand. (heh) Guard Farway with your life.
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
<via Jailbait Lass’s intercom>
Don’t worry Gigi, we’re on it! I’m currently investigating and have found some interesting things…
While the docs at Medicus One do what they can, we’ll find the culprits. Obviously, Viviane and the Royal Inquisitor are largely to blame, but I think I may have uncovered a larger culprit partially responsible for this mess…
Don't pair me up with that miscreant boob, he's a fool, I'm evil and I can see that, why haven't you defeated him yet?
It's hard for the boys to fit crimefighting into their keg party schedule. Gotta have your priorities, Viviane dear
The Inquisitor will be going down shortly.
It's you that should be concerning you, Viv. You're next
Did we forget to cancel Viv's security code? Geez. We're not used to members turning evil. Now I guess we have to change the locks and all... what a pain. Thanks, Viv.
grumble, mutter.
Originally posted by matlock:
Did we forget to cancel Viv's security code? Geez. We're not used to members turning evil. Now I guess we have to change the locks and all... what a pain. Thanks, Viv.
grumble, mutter.
What about cancelling her subscription to
Cosmopolitian?
Sorry, I can't do that...she's to attractive.
Hrun takes an axe to all her subscriptions, cancelling them permanently.
“Tis foolish to allow a druid into your councils Cobalt they are fey and dangerous”
Hrun also destroys Viv’s pass key, parking pass and security office free coffee card. (but pockets he last four weeks salary lying on the table to be collected)
“Mark this warriors of good, thou shalt regret allowing such as her into your counsels”
Hey Hrun, I was going to take her coffee card and also her stapler. Try not to smash the office equipment, please. That stuff costs money and any replacements come out of the beer budget.
Well, maybe it doesn't but we don't dare find out do we?
Oh, and Viv was on direct deposit. Those are just the stubs.
Well, since Viv is a millionaire, I sneakily had her money wire transferred to another account and she never even bothered to notice. With this excess deposit of Viv's bi-weekly checks, I started a trust fund dedicated to paying off all lunch, dinner and bar tabs that Security Officers build up while on 'security business'
Viv didn't even realize it, but she's been paying our bar tabs all along! With no official LMB leader right now, there's no way this can be regulated until the next election! Not unless the Chief of Security authorizes said arrest--which I don't think will be happening...
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
Well, since Viv is a millionaire, I sneakily had her money wire transferred to another account and she never even bothered to notice. With this excess deposit of Viv's bi-weekly checks, I started a trust fund dedicated to paying off all lunch, dinner and bar tabs that Security Officers build up while on 'security business'
Viv didn't even realize it, but she's been paying our bar tabs all along! With no official LMB leader right now, there's no way this can be regulated until the next election! Not unless the Chief of Security authorizes said arrest--which I don't think will be happening... The millions, I just embezzeled that money from Future, Loser, Abin, and Cobalt, my BILLIONS, isn't in credit or cash, dear.
Guys, I don't have a desk, I cleared out, then got re-hired and never settled in. That was all Jailbait Lass' junk.
And please, I never need a security code...
Oh, Hrun, the only reason you don't trust me, is because a few milleniums back, I organized the force that wiped out your people, let it go man.
Originally posted by matlock:
Hey Hrun, I was going to take her coffee card and also her stapler. Try not to smash the office equipment, please. That stuff costs money and any replacements come out of the beer budget.
Well, maybe it doesn't but we don't dare find out do we?
Oh, and Viv was on direct deposit. Those are just the stubs.
Now is she kicked out or is her desk now in the basement?
Originally posted by DarkPriestess Viviane:
Oh, Hrun, the only reason you don't trust me, is because a few milleniums back, I organized the force that wiped out your people, let it go man.
Not pulled yourself together yet, hmm? I know you snapped a few months back, and Cobalt messing you up more recently didn't help, but you're going to have to face your real age sometime...
Hey, insult a lady's age somewhere else Reboot. We don't need this place reduced to smouldering rubble too.
Originally posted by DarkPriestess Viviane:
The millions, I just embezzeled that money from Future, Loser, Abin, and Cobalt, my BILLIONS, isn't in credit or cash, dear.
By embezzeling, you mean hitting people and stealing their wallets?
Originally posted by matlock:
Hey, insult a lady's age somewhere else Reboot. We don't need this place reduced to smouldering rubble too.
Opposite way round - she's younger than she thinks she is. And I wouldn't mind this place falling down, plus she can't hurt me
There's enough smoldering rubble around Legion World these days, if you ask me!
So, when are you going to finally come to terms with the fact that you and I will probably end up being buddies by the LMB five year gap, 'boot?
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
So, when are you going to finally come to terms with the fact that you and I will probably end up being buddies by the LMB five year gap, 'boot? Alternate future
- it worked on the basis that I never changed my name or lost my splitting powers, and didn't get Glitch or my recently induced energy absorption/manipulation powers
Reboot, I don't know how to tell you this, but, shut up.
Ignoramus, I hate it when people have to make up lies because they are jealous of me, I also hate it when they have to act like they have a lot of power when they are, in reality, so very weak. Poor Reboot.
Originally posted by disaster boy:
i do so miss being evil.
Why, you were bad at it?
50 heavily armed Varangian Guards enter the Security Office.
Three of them grab Matlock, spilling his coffee pot, as two officers smash the desk open.
“Quick if you want to live. Where is the Lord Faraway”?
Originally posted by Hrun the Barbarian:
50 heavily armed Varangian Guards enter the Security Office.
Three of them grab Matlock, spilling his coffee pot, as two officers smash the desk open.
“Quick if you want to live. Where is the Lord Faraway”?
...Tijauna?
25 Varangian spears speed towards the female.
"Ware, tis a sorceress"
Ok, enough is enough. I need to find my powers, ASAP. Magic and science have failed me, but I still believe a spiritual Peyote journey could do the trick...
Whenever you lose something, you'll always find it in the last place you look. You should start there.
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
Ok, enough is enough. I need to find my powers, ASAP. Magic and science have failed me, but I still believe a spiritual Peyote journey could do the trick...
A peyote journey always does the trick
-----------------
<flies in,
after dropping off Hrun , where he began his assault on the Unholy Island of Avalon>
*sniff*
WOW! I need a shower desperately…I smell rancid! Good thing I can use this secret shower room I installed adjacent to my new office, which Jailbait Lass insisted would be of good use.
<discards pair of dirty beat-up jeans to the side>
Now, to get clean…
<showers, cleans up, grabs new costume>
I’ve been akin’ to try this new costume since Crusader designed it for me—powers are back, attitude is restored, might as well introduce the LMB to the repowered Cobalt Kid!
![[Linked Image]](http://sabreslegends.com/lw/cobalt_kid.jpg)
Cobie Cakes, I wouldn't have thought it possible, but I think this power boost has made you even MORE attractive! Of course, I always have been drawn to men of power
I think that fresh shower helped out a bit too...you'll have to test out the private shower with me sometime
-note taped to Cobie's door-
Gone to knock a few goth chippies around and ogle Hrun's buns. When YK wakes up tell him we'll be back in a jiffy.
Love,
Bob
(OM appears in one of the reinforced security rooms, with a small box clutched under one arm and what may, accent on "may" be the body of Faraway Lad. He contacts Jailbait Lass on his Omni-Com.)
JL, this is OM. I'm in Room 0004. I need any available security personnel and scanning equipment you have down here ASAP.
(Flips Omni-Com closed and looks at body.)
Sorry, old friend, but you can't go back to Medicus One until I'm sure you aren't rigged.
<appears in Security Office, watching Jailbait Lass get all the equipment she can to Outdoor Miner>
Nicely done Lolita. We'll hold off on contacting Dr. One or any other medical personnel until OM is done with his routine. We can't afford to take chances anymore with this.
In the meantime, I think I've found out enough clues to possibly crack the identity of the traitor. Now I just need to put the puzzle together. I'll keep the link open with KP's room and see what we can come up with.
While we were there, I installed some Terresact equipment at Castle Faraway--Stoopid Cat's technology *should* allow me to return if need be, without any being able to journey here...
<dragging in beat-down unconcious Inquisitor, stuffs him in power dampening cell>
Book 'im somebody. I gotta lie down. Where's my coffee pot...
Jailbait Lass, be sure Matlock gets whatever he needs. That man there is a security office hero.
<looks in at the Inquisitor>
We got you, you bastard...
<pulls off mask>
Ick! Just as I remembered...a scarred, burnt face, long ago from self-torture. You once tried to convince me you were my worst enemy Dr. Hoffman come back to life, Inquisitor, but I know you were just taunting me.
Perhaps we'll never know who you truly are...
Just an opportunist and a murderer.
<turns to Jailbait Lass>
When he comes to, we'll question him on who was helping him. In the meantime, no one except high ranking security officers are allowed anywhere near this man. He's wanted for the murders of Giant Squid, Dustin Hoffman and a Supergirl Robot.
<Meanwhile, in Room 04...>
OK, Faraway is stabilized and we can commence the scans. We'll soon see what's up with you, ol' boy.
<Activaes the scanners. Looks at screens. Looks again, mumbles a curse, and turns on the Omni-Com>
Cobie, this is OM. You aren't by chance storing anything extremely radioactive, are you?
<activates omnicom>
Actually OM, this is the worst possible time. We've got the Royal Inquisitor in here, fresh off a huge battle where he's emitted and taken in a plethora of energies and radiation. Who knows what he's emitting right now?
Is there a problem?
First off, congratulations.
Second, of course there's a bloody problem. Whatever he's giving off is messing with the instruments. I can't scan Faraway.
Can't you clean him up or move him?
I'm afraid not. The Triumvirs have secretly begun building a prison planet outside Legion World the second Viviane started her attacks, although this information isn't available to the general public. It's close to complete, but until it's finished, we have to house him here.
Looks like there's a bit of a problem then...
(Hm...there's too much going on at the Security Office right now)
Jailbait Lass, make this official notice - the Security Office is closed to all except high ranking security officers. Everyone else has paid holidays until I give the say-so.
Only OM and I know the location of his secret room right now, and I want to keep it that way...
Faraway's stable, so that's not a problem.
Whatever you do to lock down separate rooms, do it here.
You had also better scan anyone who's been in contact with the Inquisitor to make sure there aren't any residual effects. That's best done at Medicus One.
<walks out of secret room, munching on a bag of crisps and swilling it down with ice-cold lemonade>
Hey, Cobalt! Just stopping by to have a look round the Security Office, since you embezzled LMBP money to build it'n'all.
Want a crisp?
Anyway, who's that guy that looked like Baron Zemo before his bodylift in there? Anyone we know?
<munch>
Mind if I get a refill?
'Boot- you must have been dying to put that post up
I've got Miner seperated from most of the facility and the Inquisitor in his own spell under special security guard.
However, the results should be in soon on my little experiment to find out who the traitor is, so I need to get there ASAP.
Maybe we can finally get the big reveal we're hoping for...
CODE RED SECURITY UPDATE
All available Security Officers and LMBers on the active roster:
As you may know at this point, there has been a traitor in our midst all along. The Red Bee has literally stabbed us in the back and is now working against us, attempting to create terror and horror on Legion World. This is not the gentle lurker that we once thought him to be—this is a cold, calculating enemy that has been playing us from the start.
So far he has come close to murdering myself and Eryk Davis Ester, as well as Jailbait Lass, who he attempted to bury alive. The latter two are still recovering.
Further, he has begun a series of terrible assaults on the innocent general population on Legion World, including a series of murders and attacks on the staff at the Villa, the children playing in the streets of Legion World and other such places.
We believe him to be fully responsible for the attempted murder of Faraway Lad, using the confusion of Viviane’s turning away from the LMB as cover. We also believe him responsible for the Purple Kryptonite of last summer, the missing gender reversal germs and the ‘Chip in the Head’ mystery…all of which may still remain at his disposal.
We also believe he was responsible for hiding the Royal Inquisitor from us, who is now in our custody.
Please be careful if you approach him, we are classifying him as a level ten danger…far more powerful than we ever previously guessed. He may be one of the greatest threats to ever attack us here on Legion World, and he certainly seems the most bent on hurting us with unrelated terrorist attacks.
Be careful Legion Worlders and LMBers, and stay strong. Together, we can beat this.
-Cobalt Kid
Chief of Security.
Internal Memo:
Priority: HIGH
Security Staff,
With the recent onslaught of attacks by the Red Bee, it’s apparent that no place is safe on Legion World right now. Worse, the Bee’s main power seems to be that he’s undetectable, even by magic or advanced science. Don’t ask me how it works.
But what’s important is that there is far too much going on in the Security building right now that make it’s getting attacked seem like a worse case scenario. I have already given all personnel the day off, except high-ranking security officers. Even my own intern, Jailbait Lass, was attacked, showing how dangerous this is.
As of right now, I’m putting up extra security measures to ensure this building is not taken in the onslaughts.
Miner, make sure you move our ‘hidden guest’ somewhere were he cannot be reached except by the two of us.
Matlock and others, we will secure the Royal Inquisitor somewhere in the hidden bunkers below, so he cannot be broken out of his prison. As soon as the prison planet of Takron-Galtos is complete, we will transport him there. In the meantime, we cannot let him escape—there is already enough of a threat without him.
The Red Bee may be our worst enemy, if we don’t play this right. Let’s go get him.
-Cobalt
Just checking in; I'm ready to try the ol' lightning rod revival trick whenever you guys are ready.....
Hey PB, thanks for stopping by....beer?
Hey PB! Interested in a job?
Right now Deddy and I are trying to, er, figure out what to do with these 'plants'...
Something else else like this perhaps?
![[Linked Image]](http://img47.echo.cx/img47/2718/bong013oc.th.jpg)
I DEMAND THAT YOU REINSTATE VIVIANE'S POSITION!!!
She's been on vacation and taking many pictures, now, give her position back!
Thanks deadman I'll take the beer and your magic bottle
Note from Invisible Brainiac to Cobalt Kid:
Location: Outside the Royal Inquisitor's Cell
Since I've begun my guard duty, invisibly, of course, the Royal Inquisitor has been asleep and nothing of real note has happened. However, he keeps mumbling the word "destruction" over and over again. I do not know if this is significant, but I decided to relay it to you.
To: Invisible Brainiac
From: Cobalt Kid
IB,
I appreciate your being so dutiful in the secret mission I gave you weeks ago in guarding the Inquisitor's cell. These mutterings are more than they appear, I'm sure, as the Inquisitor had direct access to the Red Bee. I will keep Legion World on a full Alert.
Cobalt
PS- I’ve enclosed some jungle juice to give you something to do.
Originally posted by Darcy:
I DEMAND THAT YOU REINSTATE VIVIANE'S POSITION!!!
She's been on vacation and taking many pictures, now, give her position back!
Darcy, I'm afraid Viviane will have to undergo a special hearing before her position is reinstated, as Space Ranger had to do a year ago after the ill-titled 'Alt ID Rebellion'. The judges at these precedings will be myself, Matlock and Space Ranger, although she can call whatever witnesses she would like, including other Security Officers. This is, of course, a formality.
In the meantime, the Security Office would be willing to have you fill her role for the foreseeable future as a full fledged Security Officer. As a magic-user, you can actually take Viviane’s exact position:
Captain, Mystic Crimes Division, which is also known as
Chief Auror.
*Auror = mage who captures Dark Wizards Please let me know what you think and give Viviane our love.
Cobie dear, if you start referring to the Security Office as "Azkaban," we're gonna get a smackdown by JK
The Security Office steals ideas from all types of literature!
Cobie,
How many times do I have to tell you? The Security Office does not "steal". It commandeers.
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
Originally posted by Darcy:
[b]I DEMAND THAT YOU REINSTATE VIVIANE'S POSITION!!!
She's been on vacation and taking many pictures, now, give her position back!
In the meantime, the Security Office would be willing to have you fill her role for the foreseeable future as a full fledged Security Officer. As a magic-user, you can actually take Viviane’s exact position: Captain, Mystic Crimes Division, which is also known as Chief Auror.
*Auror = mage who captures Dark Wizards
Please let me know what you think and give Viviane our love.[/b](spits on Cobalt)
Peanut head! I'm telling the Priestess!
Originally posted by Quislet, Esq.:
Cobie,
How many times do I have to tell you? The Security Office does not "steal". It commandeers.
The Security Office also relies on Quis to oversee all our statements before I'm allowed to sign off on them!
<magnetically erects iron canister to block Darcy's spit>
Hm...a lot like Viviane, that one...
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
<magnetically erects iron canister to block Darcy's spit>
Hm...a lot like Viviane, that one... (pulls out the Hypno-stone)
Time to get me a slave!
(uses her hypnotic powers on Cobalt)
<Telepathically blocks hypnosis through the psychic rapport she shares with Cobalt Kid>
None of that, dear. Cobie Cakes can get into more than enough trouble on his own. He doesn't need mind control to help
Darn you little brat!
(Darcy prepares to attack Spellbinder, when a piercing blue light blocks her attack!)
Dracy: "No! Not you!"
(Before Darcy can attack back, the blue light summons Icy and Stormy and tangles them in a magic web
Viviane appears and strips Darcy of the Hypno-stone)
Viviane: "I'm back!"
(in a red light, Morgaine enters the office, she blasts Stormy)
"You're going to pay, frizz head!"
Icy: This is not happening!
(Icy uses her ice magic and freezes the entire Security Office)
Icy: HAHAHAHAHA!
(in a flash of orange light, Igraine enters and surprises Icy from behind)
Igraine: Now!
(Viviane, Igraine and Morgaine then focus their powers and hurl the three witches into Happy Oblivion, a prison realm that reforms evil doers by forcing them to live in a realm of utter happiness)
Well...er, welcome back ladies!
<points to pretzel maker installed by Abin months ago>
Pretzel? Viv...how do you feel?
(Thanks Crujeckie!)
(defrosts the place)
What, no pretzel for me, but thanks.
I feel good.
We went to search for the Hypno-stone that Morgause used on us, when we found it those witches blind sided us and took the stone and trapped us.
The also attack Morgause, so out of revenge she freed us to stop them.
I heard about the Red Bee, bummer.
(spits on Cobie)
I heard that little comparison you made with Darcy and myself.
<magnetically blocks spit with same piece of metal from before>
Hey, I just meant b/c you were fiesty!
(Not that you just didn't prove me right...)
I'm glad the Hypno-stone has been recovered and you're back to normal, Viv. You gave us quite a scare!
Now, to do what I should have done a long time ago!
(the Hypno-stone glows, she points it at Cobalt, then...
...
it disappears)
Lock and safe from evil doers, ythe stone is!
...
That's it, no more tea time with Yoda!
Great. The best-looking Security Officer is finally back, but Cobie ends up monopolizing her again.
PS Thanks for the jungle juice - at least now I have a good excuse for napping on guard duty.
Originally posted by Invisible Brainiac:
Great. The best-looking Security Officer is finally back, but Cobie ends up monopolizing her again.
PS Thanks for the jungle juice - at least now I have a good excuse for napping on guard duty.
Oh...hehehehe, you sweet talker, you.
<font size="15">?</font s>
What is the smartest form of insect?
<font size="15">?</font s>
Des sweetheart, could you be a love and sort out the KP/YK coup thingie I've been hearing snippets of - as Security Chief and all round Legionstud you know that it only makes sense that I'M on top and fully in control! We all know it's for the best.
I know I can rely on you to hake a manful stand on this and sort out the riff raff for me.
Bxx
Originally posted by Harbinger:
Des sweetheart, could you be a love and sort out the KP/YK coup thingie I've been hearing snippets of - as Security Chief and all round Legionstud you know that it only makes sense that I'M on top and fully in control! We all know it's for the best.
I know I can rely on you to hake a manful stand on this and sort out the riff raff for me.
Bxx
(astral projection)
Woman are you mad, there is a war going on, stop your nagging and help!
I'm leaving this letter on Cobalt Kid's desk. (teleports letter to his office)
It reports that High Priestess, Hrun and Invisible Brainiac are on Avalon, Viviane has been injured, some of the exploding bees has inflitrated Avalon.
Report back to me, and me alone, as long as Viviane is out, I am in charge of operations at Avalon.(astral projection fades)
Cobalt! Space Ranger, Matlock, anyone!
(sees Morgaine's letter, looks outside and see's the bees)
Ah, poo.
Originally posted by The Riddler:
<font size="15">?</font s>
What is the smartest form of insect?
<font size="15">?</font s>
You rang?
Originally posted by Igraine:
(Viviane, Igraine and Morgaine then focus their powers and hurl the three witches into Happy Oblivion, a prison realm that reforms evil doers by forcing them to live in a realm of utter happiness)
(shudders)
Y'all don't mess around, do you?
Well, so much for the magic lessons....
<flies in!>
Smokin' Salmon! Will this caper never end? Between explosive suicide bomber bees and spear-wielding talking gorillas, I feel like Steve Irwin on acid of 31st Century!
<chugs "Pov's Pint">
Man, this stuff has a kick to it! Now--to do what I do best and take care of these red bees! Er...besides fornicate and consume booze that is...
at least i lost morgause.
Nicely done DB!
I think we've had enough of the Red Bee! It's time for a showdown!
His crimes include: Betrayal of the LMB
Shooting Eryk Davis Ester and Cobalt Kid in the back
Destruction of Medicus One
Hiding the Royal Inquisitor for months with his undetection powers
Blowing up an old LMB HQ and attempted to kill Faraway Lad in the process (and partly succeeding!)
Burying Jailbait Lass alive
Numerous attacks on civilans on Legion World
Killing part of the staff at Vee's Villa
Attacking children in the streets
Blowing up the Pysonion Embassy
He wanted to bring terror--he succeeded. Well, we can bring Justice, and that's far more potent.
(What? I
have to make a speech...it's what I do
)
Well, I do have an idea on how we could vastly weaken the Bee, but... *gasp*!... it may be too horrible to contemplate!
I'm afraid, old friend, that we may need to hear it! So far, little has been effective against our clever foe!
<Suddenly Miner and Disaster Boy appear sliding across the floor, the latter appearing to have tackled the former. They are followed by Spellbinder and her kin.>
I've had less-dignified entrances, but only after I've had a few.
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
I'm afraid, old friend, that we may need to hear it! So far, little has been effective against our clever foe!
Well, chum, if we have to enact my plan, the risk will be great. But I think I may have the key to eliminating the bee army.
Originally posted by Disaster Boy:
at least i lost morgause.
Yeah right,
you lost me, afro-boy, HA!
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
Burying Jailbait Lass alive
Originally posted by Eryk Davis Ester:
Well, I do have an idea on how we could vastly weaken the Bee, but... *gasp*!... it may be too horrible to contemplate!
Giant bee spray?
Originally posted by Outdoor Miner:
Originally posted by The Riddler:
[b]
<font size="15">?</font s>
What is the smartest form of insect?
<font size="15">?</font s>
Incidentally, is this supposed to be some sort of clue or something? Or just the day to day insanity of the Security Office?
Well, seeing as I am only aiding to kill Red Bee because his sexy...body...<font size="1">oohh</font s>...annoys me, and he is totally crowding my style.
I will do what I can to help.
Contego exsisto quod servo
Nare repellp(a force field that repels bees surrounds the Security Office)
See, I can help.
Buried her alive
EDE, I think you're plan may be the only way to go at this point!
It appears we're all starting to gather for some planning and a showdown--I'm ready.
Morgause, you're help is appreciated.
And as for the Riddler--no idea if this is a clue, or if this is something altogether unrelated and part of the day to day craziness this office faces...
Originally posted by Outdoor Miner:
<Suddenly Miner and Disaster Boy appear sliding across the floor, the latter appearing to have tackled the former. They are followed by Spellbinder and her kin.>
I've had less-dignified entrances, but only after I've had a few.
at least you ended up on "top"
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
EDE, I think you're plan may be the only way to go at this point!
It appears we're all starting to gather for some planning and a showdown--I'm ready.
*Sigh*... then, when the time comes, you must lure the Bee to Greg Evigan Island. In the meantime, I will travel there to prepare.
Originally posted by Eryk Davis Ester:
]*Sigh*... then, when the time comes, you must lure the Bee to Greg Evigan Island. In the meantime, I will travel there to prepare.
(astral projection)
Cobalt Kid! Don't you check your desks for messages!?!
Morgause? Whatever!
Viviane has been healed on Avalon and is fine, Invisible Brainiac and Hrun are there, but my mother, Igraine went to close a portal on the north side, I think the bees have gotten her.
I am requesting aide
(astral projection fades)
Originally posted by Disaster Boy:
Originally posted by Eryk Davis Ester:
[b] ]*Sigh*... then, when the time comes, you must lure the Bee to Greg Evigan Island. In the meantime, I will travel there to prepare.
Shut up, didn't you hear Morgaine, Igraine's in trouble.
MORGAINE! IGRAINE!I can't get ahold of them, Viviane has banned me from Avalon.
Cobalt help them!
(Invisible Brainiac is flying over the north end of the island, searching for Igraine...)
Sprock it, how hard can it be to find a *hot* sorceress and a big, glowy portal?
(A bright green glow catches his attention...)
Whoa, that makes the Emerald Ass look like one of those glow-in-the-dark sticks!
(He swoops down to investigate...)
Hm. I'm so confused. I've been on special assignment down at em, the beach. Anyway.
If Viv will be nice she can come back on the Security team, Cobie. I am not one for holding a grudge and I fear and cringe before all these magicians besides.
When do we start shooting something again? I still owe the Red Bee for making me a dupe and then marauding on the streets we work so hard to protect.
It appears Matt, that the final battle is approaching. Everyone seems to be gathering here at the Security Office, and it looks like its time to make a final stand!
Well, I guess I'll put a pot of coffee on if we're having company over. I'm tanned and rested and ready to go stomp the Bee. This has gone far enough.
<In a
flash of light, Quislet, Crusader, Disaster Boy, the sorcerer Maxx and Spellbinder appear in a pile in the Security Office>
The Royal House of Psyonia stands... errr... will stand in a moment... with you against that foul insect, Cobalt Kid. The Embassy Guard are at your disposal.
Then it's settled. We gather now...and we attack soon.
I'll send word to EDE--our trap will be in place.
<calls Holy Isle of Avalon>
Viv, you, IB and Hrun are needed.
I'll see what I can do about getting Far and Ded over here too!
<polishing brass knuckles>
Say, maybe we should order some pizzas. I don't think the pretzel maker will be able to keep up with all these guests.
Hey, can we deputize this here posse? It always seems so fun when they do it in the westerns.
Can I become temporaily deputized?
I say we deputize 'em! Want to do the honors?
Poor Jailbait Lass will be sad she missed out on this gathering! Especially the pizza part!
Originally posted by RTVU2:
Can I become temporaily deputized?
<throws badge>
You're in, Vu!
Does our insurance cover deputized posse members? Where's Policy Pam when we need her? Well, I'm sure we can cover anyone's doctor bills if we've been able to cover the security office bar tab all this time.
Anyway: Yeee Haw!!! My blood's getting worked up.
It's cool Matlock, I'll cover my own medical bills and I'll just stay here and hold down the fort.
(in a blast of light blue light, Igraine, Morgaine, IB, and Hrun enter the Security Office)
She sent us away.
Cobalt, even though you never answered my plea, I am here to aide you.
Viviane has stayed behind in Avalon to take on the horde.
These bees are fiesty, they continue to try and force their way in, but they shall not break my field.
(Morgause looks over and sees her sister and niece)
You're alive.
Viviane may not be, she stayed behind, do you have any remorse about that, sister?
Should I?
(Sorceress walks away, she stares at the windows, magically touching the bees, setting off random explosions)
Accursed Viviane.
(She then turns around and walks back into the room, returning to her normal demeanor)
I have had enough!
(Sorceress coats Morgaine and Igraine in a force field that also acts as a power dampener, she the realeases the force field on the building and magically summons the bees towards her, as the bees hit the building causing much destruction, Morguase teleports away, leaving the bees with the incentive to destroy the Security Office)
Who says you have to be Red to control bees.
<magnetically holds the bees at bay>
Just as I thought, those explosive devices on the bees must be mechanical, and probably shrunken.
Hmph--like we didn't see this betrayal from Morgause coming! She'll have to learn that the LMB knows when to differentiate between heroes and villains from now on.
<extends hand to Morgaine, and welcomes her into the room>
Good to have you ladies. Now then...a few more are on their way, and we can bring down this terrorist once and for all.
My powers have be constrain my Morgause!
(A bee flies and hits Morgaine directly, sending her into the air, but she gets up)
She placed a force field around me as well.
<lays healing hands on Morgaine>
We fight, milady, and we keep fighting until the jobs done.
Everyone, listen up! It's gonna get a whole lot worse, so hang on tight! We gather here and we make the Red Bee come out and fight us directly. We'll go from there!
(Looks around at the damage done by Morgause's attack)
Looks as if Avalon will not be the only place to need some repairs.
The Security Office has been destroyed enough times for me not to take it seriously
I'm sure I can convince Emerald Empress or the Spectre to set it right--but we might as well let it crumble around us now, until I know for certain the Bee is in our custody.
<takes off overcoat and roles up sleeves>
NO!!! Morgause...
Cobalt!!!
Morgause. I sense her, she's killing hundreds, stealing their lives for power...
morgause....... it's about time we put that old dog down.
Let's bury her. It did wonders for Mordru...
<font size="20">TERROR!!!</font s>
<Bees burst into the Security Office from all sides>
Come and take what is yours, LMB! Taste the your horror!
<The Red Bee, gliding over a thousand large red bees, hovers close to the Security Office. There are hundreds of thousands, perhaps millions, of red bees, as large as a man's thumb, encircling the building>
*Looks around, Rebooted into intangibility mode.*
Y'know.... those bees aren't red. In the slightest.
Oh, and Cobalt's over at Avalon with "Viv" again if you want to catch him... seeing as how those two started this whole mess.
<Spellbinder and Crusader rush forward>
"FOR PSYONIA, AND LEGION WORLD!!!" they cry in unison.
<Arms thrust out before them, they send a wall of psionic force against the group of bees nearest them, slamming them into the wall with a satisfying "squish">
db summons a horde of locusts with his disaster power. the locusts swarm in taking on the bees, leaving only bee striped dust in their wake.
Disaster Boy!
I need your help, I can't remove Morgause spell on my mother and I, the raw force of the Disaster Force may be enough if you allow me to aide your use of it.
Perhaps my brother's boyfriend, Maxx, can assist you. He's a sorcerer...
<magnetically crushes as many bees as possible, trying to push them together into one solid wall of bees and use them on the Red Bee himself>
Sweet Ass Sweet! It ends here!
Originally posted by Spellbinder:
Perhaps my brother's boyfriend, Maxx, can assist you. He's a sorcerer...
He would have to let himself go, bring about his raw inner powers, he's strong, but he may not be of much use once he does so, but if he is willing I would gladly accept his help.
I'm confident that Crusader will guard him if it leaves him too weak to defend himself.
Originally posted by Spellbinder:
I'm confident that Crusader will guard him if it leaves him too weak to defend himself.
Then let's begin, Mother, are you ready?
I am ready, thank you, Princess.
My pleasure. What's the point in having a sorcerer in the family if all he does is stand around looking pretty?
morgaine...morgause stole my talent for magic, the spirits no longer hear my calls.
i better help clean up these bees. (brandishes a flyswatter and a can of raid)
don't make me get out the centinela candels!
Originally posted by Spellbinder:
My pleasure. What's the point in having a sorcerer in the family if all he does is stand around looking pretty? We can begin immediately.
(stands directly across from Igraine)
Maxx and stand in the middle of us, facing east.
Originally posted by Disaster Boy:
don't make me get out the centinela candels!
I can't believe in a century noted for transmatter portals and pyro-nullifiers that we don't have a single can of Raid anywhere...
i am from a post apocalyptic future. i can't tell you too much but....let's just say things degraded really fast. (ie: raid)
Originally posted by Disaster Boy:
Originally posted by Outdoor Miner:
[b] <Suddenly Miner and Disaster Boy appear sliding across the floor, the latter appearing to have tackled the former. They are followed by Spellbinder and her kin.>
I've had less-dignified entrances, but only after I've had a few.
Sure, after sliding across half the Security Office floor on my face.
When was Abin through here last, for God's sake?
Originally posted by Disaster Boy:
i am from a post apocalyptic future. i can't tell you too much but....let's just say things degraded really fast. (ie: raid)
Ah, the old "cockroaches and Cher" bit, eh?
<Miner pulls a flask from a pocket and takes a long pull. Any bee that gets within a few inches of him simply disappears.>
(Igraine walks out of the room that she, Morgaine and Maxx where in)
Spellbinder, that Maxx is pretty amazing, I tired the poor guy out, he'll need to rest but he was able to drive a hole in the spell large enough for Morgaine and I to use our magic to remove Morgause's spell completely it completely.
Morgaine, we need to find a spell that can give Disaster Boy his powers back and we should place a force field around this place.
There is a loud crashing noise from in side the kitchen next to Matlock.
After a few seconds Hrun staggers out a crushed and mangled pretzel maker under one burly arm his left foot trapped inside a battered old fashioned coffee pot. The coffee pop clanks and bangs and Hrun walks forward slightly unsteadily.
“By the gods I hate teleporting via magic, it does things to my bowels.”
Hrun sits down next to an incandescent Matlock.
“sorry my friend I seem to have landed heavily on this” proffering the mangled pretzel maker to Matlock, “is it repairable? Oh and I would not go in that kitchen until the sani droids have finished”
As he looks up and sees the battle going on all around him he smiles.
“Now” says Hrun visibly recovering, “By the hoary hosts of Kramel the stout, we go hit something”
Charging into battle against the bees, the coffee pot still clanging on his foot Hrun sings as he swings his axe against the bees, hitting them just right so the spin out of control towards miner who is drinking and making them disappear.
In the midst of battle Dedman materialised behind Cobalt Kid who was magnetically catching the bees by the small amount of metal in the detonator and bowling them towards Hrun who was batting them out of the park.
“Boo! ……. hoo hoo hoo Stayin alive” sang Dedman in what turned into a surprised voice.
Turning around Cobalt Kid saw something he would never forget, no matter how hard he tried. Dressed in a white suit with a black shirt and a large gold medallion a ghostly apparition of Deadman floated in the air. Spinning around insanely before coming to a stop with his arm pointing skyward, Dedman said “Cobalt you’ve got to help us,….. its a Tragedy …”
“But Ded” said Cobalt panting with the exertion of fighting the bees “what’s happened”
“I’m stuck half way between the poltergeist zone and here. My body is with Faraway, but it’s become one of the un dead and so I cant fully regenerate. Also because of the place Faraway is trapped in I’m getting these side effects”
Suddenly Dedmans ghost shimmered and he reappeared dressed in a very fetching Red Indian outfit, complete with huge feathered headdress.
“Hurry Cobalt you have to help us, … young man… there’s a place you must go I said Young man… …..Arghhhhhhhhhh this is hell” shouted Dedman as he faded from view
(teleports in, looks a little run down from her battle with the Avalonian bees)
Cobalt!
I'm hear to help in anyway I can...
<font size="5">EEEARRHHH!</font s>
No...KinetixgreenZoe, Morgause...she's dead, Morgause killed her.
RRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! MY COFFEE POT!!!!!!
I WILL FIX YOU FOR THIS BEE!!!! YOU RUIN EVERYTHING GOOD AND I! HAVE! HAD! ENOUGH!
<removes lavender K ring from utility belt, waits for power up>
Yes! Yes! My rage and my passion for a nice cup o' Joe have merged!
<eyes turning a solid dark brown>
Beware ye Bees!!! Feel the boiling heat of my hate with my Dangerously Hot Coffee Vision!!!
<unleashes deadly twin sprays of hot, hot delicious medium roast, boiling remaining bees and putting out the smouldering fires left in the kitchen>
BEE!!!!!! When I find you I will turn my wrath all the way to Double Espresso!!!!! There's no cream and sugar for you, traitor!!!!
<fashions visor from ruby styrofoam to control dangerous jitter-inducing raw power>
<eyes Matlock>
I haven't seen Matt like this in ages! Little does the Bee realize that the MADDER MATLOCK GETS, <font size="5">The STRONGER</font s> <font size="10">MATLOCK IS!!!</font s>
Clunk clang goes the coffee pot and Hrun walks across to Matlock. Standing beside him as he angrily fires coffee vision at the remaining bees a look of concentration passes (with all the difficulty of climbing Mount Everest without oxygen) across Hrun’s brow.
Clank clunk, clang goes the coffee pot as Hrun wanders over to a single remaining bee and whacks it away absent mindedly in the direction of Shakes bar. Watching it spin slowly in the air toward the attractive shining doors the detonator heading for an explosive contact with the polished wood.
“Matlock has a true Barbarians fire within him. He could almost be a Warrior from the Northern frontier, if it were not for his soft southern clothes” thought the Barbarian.
Talking a small silver locket from out of his furred pouch Hrun slips the locket open and looks at a picture of a beautiful woman, a touch of grey in her hair but noble and wise.
“Ah mother, why does this man’s appearance trouble me so?” He asked the locket.
Clank clank went the sound of the coffee pot as Hrun walked back towards the LMBp'ers
<removes battered, coffee-stained photo identical to that in Hrun's locket from utility belt>
Well, if augurs that this be the day for the speaking of truths, so be it! Might this be the appointed hour that Hrun and I ride forth to battle together as was foreseen in the far off mists of the Northern Realms?
I had the feeling that I was going to show up this morning and find that my face had been ripped off and my body was ground to dust.
I'm pleasantly surprised to find myself whole
Originally posted by matlock:
<removes battered, coffee-stained photo identical to that in Hrun's locket from utility belt>
Well, if augurs that this be the day for the speaking of truths, so be it! Might this be the appointed hour that Hrun and I ride forth to battle together as was foreseen in the far off mists of the Northern Realms?
Hm...I've often wondered about a strange connection between you two, but never spoke of it before. Has anyone noticed their similarity in appearance? Hm...
<bees fly at Cobalt's head>
Er--gotta pay attention!
And Princess, I happen to like that face and body, and won't let anything happen to it
~blink~blink~
Why do I even bother?
I'm so going back to Avalon.
Viv! Don't go, this is not the time to be dividing our forces!
<scalds a few more random bees>
Cobie, there are a few things that I've been unable to reveal... perhaps the time has come.
enough! these bees are disgusting, and i'm outta raid.
(db calls forth gale force winds, and freezing rain, sweeping the bees up into the sky)
time to take out head drone.
Originally posted by Disaster Boy:
enough! these bees are disgusting, and i'm outta raid.
(db calls forth gale force winds, and freezing rain, sweeping the bees up into the sky)
time to take out head drone.
I see Igraine finally got your powers back.
Originally posted by matlock:
Viv! Don't go, this is not the time to be dividing our forces!
<scalds a few more random bees>
Cobie, there are a few things that I've been unable to reveal... perhaps the time has come.
I have shut off all the portals to Avalon, there is no way for any intruders to enter.
I will leave now and give KGZ a proper funeral, if I have time after that, I may return, but until then, Avalon and my people are my only priority.
Besides, why bother working with you, half of you think that I'm going to stab you in the back.
And the Red Bee is hardly a challenge for me, he's merely a nuisance, Morgause is much more of a danger at this point.
So, good-bye!
no not yet still working on it, i aquired my magic much like the scarlet witch...in an attempt to learn to control my unpredictable powers (my innate disaster powers is not technically related to magic...a bit like storm of the x-men, a talent for magic but with innate abilities)
Perhaps we should call Agatha Harkness...?
Originally posted by High Priestess Viviane:
I have shut off all the portals to Avalon, there is no way for any intruders to enter.
I wouldn't be so certain, dear. In the LMBP Universe, there is no such thing as impenetrable
Originally posted by Spellbinder:
Originally posted by High Priestess Viviane:
[b] I have shut off all the portals to Avalon, there is no way for any intruders to enter.
Then I shall suppose I will just have to temporarily move Avalon out this exsistance.
Well, that would probably work I guess.
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
[QUOTE]Hm...I've often wondered about a strange connection between you two, but never spoke of it before. Has anyone noticed their similarity in appearance?
Heck no.
Did we get a new artist or something?
just a fill in while our regular amazing artist is taking a break. the stunning cover of this issue was drawn by another incredible artist....of no similarity to the current lackluster fill in artist.
So much for the Diamond reorders, then.
Tell me the inker's decent at least.
I felt a little off-model today, but I thought that was just me.
Viv, you just scuttle along Ms. Crabby. I said, let Viv back on the force and no ill feelings but the thanks I get for it! Bah!!! All these magic people need to clear out of here for a while! I'm edgy enough already.
Originally posted by matlock:
I felt a little off-model today, but I thought that was just me.
Viv, you just scuttle along Ms. Crabby. I said, let Viv back on the force and no ill feelings but the thanks I get for it! Bah!!! All these magic people need to clear out of here for a while! I'm edgy enough already.
I wasn't talking about you, dear, I was talking about HIM!
(points to the preztel maker)
It's just gives me the silent treatment, and it always screws up my preztels, I just can't take it!
Hrun charges into battle against the last remaining bees. As he does so he trips over the coffee pot still tangled around his leg and falls straight into the full force of Disaster Boy’s storm.
Off balance he is swept up and up into the sky along with the Bees. Reaching out with a hand desperately trying to get a grip to save himself Hrun grasps the front of the princesses tied died pantsuit from the crazy Lugiamna’s emporium. Unfortunately the cheap polyester cotton is unable to withstand the strength of the storm and the front of the suit rips free, exposing the Princess to the elements. Hrun, shorn of his last mooring to mother earth, spirals up into the air in the heart of the storm.
“Hrun!! No!!” Shouts Matlock, diving forward to catch him. But too late. Activating his coffee vision Matlock fires a long double thick stream of coffee milk shake in the direction of the rapidly disappearing barbarian. It falls short by a long distance.
“Disaster Boy, you must reverse the storm, quickly, bring Hrun back” shouted Cobalt Kid
“I, I, Can’t” said DB who was distracted by the Princess in her current state of dishabille. “once the storm is created it must die out naturally.
“Well said Cobalt Kid, who turned to also see the Princess, “lets… lets….” His voice trailed away for a few moments.
“Its too late” said Matlock, “the gosh durned kids gone, gone and taken the best coffee pot I’ve ever had, look”
He pointed upwards where in the clouds of the thunderstorm overhead, large flashes of light and rolling explosions could be heard. As Hrun continued to explode the terrorist bees.
“That’s my boy” whispered Matlock, “still fighting”
Originally posted by Spellbinder:
Perhaps we should call Agatha Harkness...?
Is that old bat still alive? I thought she bought the farm in the Vision/Scarlet Witch maxi-series
IB stands facing the south side of the Security Office, blasting through the hordes of bees with high intensity beams of light.
"Man, the storm is getting worse! Hey, Igraine, can't you do something about..."
Suddenly, he is floored by something falling from the sky. IB struggles to get up, but that something is a sticky fluid which pins him down.
"Ew! Gross! That statue of Large Handsome must be... Oh, wait. This is... honey?"
Nearby, the Red Bee laughs as the next part of his plan unfolds...
I should be able to help the storm!
(Igraine sends a beam of orange light into the sky, tempering the storm down to a slight rain and a fair breeze)
It should last until the storm passes!
(High Queen flies down towards IB, she magics the honey on IB)
This should remove it!
<Cobalt, having enough, flies out to confront the Bee directly>
Enough! Fight us one on one villain!
(Have to stall for time and keep this up...the attack keep getting worse)
<Bees swarm all over Cobalt, literally pushing him back as if in the shape of a giant hand that grips his whole body. Stings multiple by the dozens...>
l-lardy's beard...this h-hurts...
Originally posted by Hrun the Barbarian:
Reaching out with a hand desperately trying to get a grip to save himself Hrun grasps the front of the princesses tied died pantsuit from the crazy Lugiamna’s emporium. Unfortunately the cheap polyester cotton is unable to withstand the strength of the storm and the front of the suit rips free, exposing the Princess to the elements.
See? Now that's why I don't get involved in these adventures. This NEVER happens to Phoenix.
Good thing I wore clean underwear today
Enough! I see I must reveal my one natural power, whatever it may cost me...
<a glow envelops matlock's hands and an impregnable forcefield springs forth shielding Cobalt Kid, freeing him from the stinging maelstrom>
I didn't want to have to use this ability ever again...
<matlock's hair becomes less gray and the battlescars from his fight with the Royal Inquisitor disappear. The resemblance to Hrun grows more noticable.>
So much for my impending retirement. ***sigh***
<grabs the clattering wreckage of the pretzel maker>
Cobie, boost this thing up to the storm! I'll hang on as long as it takes to save
my son.
<Cobalt follows his lead, and magnetically sends the broken pretzel maker into the storm after Hrun, with Matlock holding onto it>
Thanks for the assist, Matt! Son, eh? You old dog...
Actually, it looks like old isn't the word anymore? You have powers you haven't revealed?!
<turning to Crujeckie>
Well, despite my rogue reputation, I know certain ladies prefer the company of gentleman...
<hands her his overcoat, a part of his new costume>
Here you go Princess!
Thank you, Cobie dear. Everything outfit I own was destroyed in that explosion.
The first thing I need to do after this battle is over is go shopping.
I guess that would be the silver lining
sorry team, my magic training usually tempers my powers but since morgause stole it from me....i keep regressing.
i need some retail therapy myself spellbinder...oh wait red bee yeah...............DIE!!!!!
(db hurtles through the air in an impressive dive for the red bee)
Originally posted by legionadventureman:
Originally posted by Spellbinder:
[b]Perhaps we should call Agatha Harkness...?
you would think with all these witches, sorcerers and the emerald empress a new kid could get a break.
Originally posted by Spellbinder:
Originally posted by Hrun the Barbarian:
[b] Reaching out with a hand desperately trying to get a grip to save himself Hrun grasps the front of the princesses tied died pantsuit from the crazy Lugiamna’s emporium. Unfortunately the cheap polyester cotton is unable to withstand the strength of the storm and the front of the suit rips free, exposing the Princess to the elements.
Good thing I wore clean underwear today [/b]good thing you wore underwear today. although it's not like underwear differs all that much from our regular outfits.
(yes i am saying all this i tackle the red bee)
(db pounces on the bee, toppling him, db on top grabs him by the head and smashes it into the ground over and over again)
I think you're confusing me with the White Queen, dear
<telekinetically lifts a slab of fallen wall and hurls it against the swarm, resulting in more satisfying squishy sounds>
<hanging on for dear life to hurtling pretzel maker while looking for Hrun in the storm>
There - through that small break in the clouds!
<emits protective shield around both Hrun and self>
Come, Hrun! We must take the battle back to the true enemy, the Red Bee!!!
Cobie, lower us down if you will. This pretzel maker wasn't made for two.
*hit by a punch from Disaster Boy*
Hm…you’re spirit is admirable. I see that you’ve found your place among this group now Disaster Boy, and I can’t fault you that. However, I can make you suffer and fear me like the rest…
*Thousands of bees swarm Disaster Boy, crawling into his costume and stinging all along his skin. His screams are muffled, as more swarm around his face.*
Now…to show that I am not above getting my own hands dirty…
*pulls off glove, and lays own bare hand on Disaster Boy’s bare chest—it is like pain never felt before, like one thousand bee stings or one thousand gunshots getting fired into his chest. His pain limits almost to the point of driving him mad, Disaster Boy staggers backward. The bees continue to consume him*
Come now, you else would like to feel the touch of the Red Bee?
*sees Cobalt Kid helping Matlock and Hrun the Barbarian*
The first thing any good officer must learn, Security Chief, is that it is necessary to sacrifice your own on the battlefield, in order to protect your flank.
*bees swarm over his arms, distracting him from using his magnetism*
During my time as a LMBer, I learned its hard to escape constant talk of old battles and backstory. Yours, for example, contains a great deal about how you were once tortured. Taste it again…
*lays bare hand on Cobalt Kid’s bare neck. The LMBer screams in pain despite himself, as blood trickles from his nose and sweat pours down his body*
<font size="15">?</font s>
Why did the bee go to the doctor?
<font size="15">?</font s>
People all over Legion World are begging for help, they can't handle the bees.
We can barely help people in this part of the world, what can you possibly suggest?
*turns to the rest*
The boy…we must be sure that he suffers more than any others*
*bees swarm on Invisible Brainiac*
And the witches too—they will do what they must, but all of the LMBP will learn that science and magic are nothing compared to the raw power of instilling fear.
*bees continue to swarm upon Igraine, as if in the shape of a gigantic trident, whose ends encircle her*
The Bug too must suffer, for reasons more pure than the others. He is too ready to extend his hand in friendship to any who would come to Legion World. Such trust will be rewarded with the utmost terror.
*lays hand on distracted Outdoor Miner, sending hideous pain throughout his body. It is a terrible sensation that he has never come close to feeling before. His bug anatomy and physiology seem to feel it at an even more heightened degree.*
And now…the Princess…
Originally posted by High Queen Igraine:
We can barely help people in this part of the world, what can you possibly suggest?
We can place a stasis field around Legion World to contain the bees. If we convert our energies to nothing else it may be enough.
MOTHER!!!
(places a portection field around herself, she blasts endlessly at the bees attacking her mother)
I'm not like the others Red Bee, I will enjoy hanging you head on my wall!
Fool of a witch…my head is yours if you think you can claim it. But know that Igraine has only moments to live unless you can help her.
*turns to Princess*
And now…Crujectra. I had hoped that explosion would end you, as that would be the greatest blow I could strike against the LMBP. It looks like this will have to end the old fashioned way.
*pulls off other glove, both hands bare. All around, others writhe in pain.*
I know you are prepared to suffer for them. But I wonder…are they prepared to let you? We shall soon find out…<grin>
MORGAINE!!!
ANYONE!!!
GET THEM AWAY FROM ME!!!
(High Queen releases her magic on the attacking bees, their bodies scattering, but there are still many directed towards her)
C-Crujeckie...
<pulls self to feet, eyes blurred and body swaying>
n-no...
(The Bees around Igraine turn to dust and small little green lights remain in their leave and are absorbed by Morgause, she turns around and sees Red Bee, she goes towards him, her force field erect, and stealing life energy from bees and humans alike)
Kill the little princess, see if I care, but you made the mistake of attacking me.
(Continues to steal energy as she releases mystical gernade at the Red Bee, watching him being hurled back the eldritch explosion)
Morgause...
(returns to the office)
We should help her!
A ghostly apparition appears. Dedman, dressed now in a hand knitted cardigan and sitting in a rocking chair starts to croon.
"once there was a lonely little red bee.
lonely as only a lone bee can be
then friends he found, one two three,
now make them all pay will that little red bee"
Dedman shudders and, just for a moment appears in his normal form. Looking down at himself he says
"Ah no man, not Andy Williams"
Lokking up at the battling LMBP'ers he starts to issue a warning,
"you can only defeat him with........ but it was too late
Swarms of Red Bees suddenly entered the security office and covered him before he could finish his warning
Originally posted by High Queen Igraine:
Morgause...
(returns to the office)
We should help her!
No, people are dying everywhere on Legion World, I know you can feel their pain, we might be able to make it end for them, let us place a stasis field.
(Morgaine and Igraine, sit on the ground, facing each other, a force field forms around them)
Subsisto poena quod terminus patientia
Per lux lucis of sanctus Insula
Per sanctimonia publicus
Terminus iam no of sterilis
SUBSISTO SEMITA SIC NEMO MOS SENTIO POENA!
Subsisto poena quod terminus patientia
Per lux lucis of sanctus Insula
Per sanctimonia publicus
Terminus iam no of sterilis
SUBSISTO SEMITA SIC NEMO MOS SENTIO POENA!
(On the other side of Legion World, a light stops the bees, the light will slowly spread until it covers all of Legion World and places the bees in a stasis field, while Igraine and Morgaine remain in the force field, portected, but un able to battle)
(a mental message to her teammates outside the force field)
We may not have enough power to cover all of Legion World, the battle has taken it's toll! But a good 92% shall soon be relieved of their pain and suffering.
<plummeting, shouting into walking ring>
Cobie - are you there? Miner? Anyone?
Hrun is now in true Berserker rage. Smashing Bees together to make them explode he feels no pain is aware of no injury and is singing as he fights, the full joy of battle is upon him.
Suddenly he feels a hand on his leg.
“godurn it youngster will you give me that darned coffee pot”
Looking down Hrun sees another barbarian. Delighted to have another foe to fight he twists in mid air and pulls his sword out of his scabbard.
“die then Demon of the air” he shouts as he lunges at Matlock with the huge blade.
“Bother, guess that retirement is going to have to wait for a while then” thinks Matlock as he is forced to activate his force shield again. Once more the force shield has a strange effect on him as his hair loses some of its grey and the lines on his forehead smooth out.
Now that Disaster Boys storm is ended and Cobalt’s magnetism is no longer keeping the pretzel and coffee makers airborne the two are falling headlong towards the ground.
Hrun is unaware of this, his blade is busy attacking Matlock’s shield whilst Matlock himself is trying to avoid the fight.
Looking down at the onrushing ground Matlock thinks, “ouch this is really gonna hurt”
There is a huge crash as the two heroes hit the ground. Tables and chairs are smashed to splinters and coffee and cakes destroyed in there thousands.
For a few seconds there is silence in Cramers Kitchen. Then with a huge eruption Hrun and Matlock spring forth from the crater which used to be Cramers seating area.
“Hah Daemon from the pits, I saw thou shape change I will soon cast thee back into the pit” shouts Hrun and he starts to attack Matlock again, Swinging his sword against the unprotected head of the hero
The battle continues at Cafe Cramer here
ow ow ow ow....who's yelling.
(db passes back out)
mmmm (grogily comes to)
ow ow ow oh that pain is me being stung by a multitude of bees ow ow ow next time someone invents something i wish they would think "trans-suit" and not "pretzel maker"
what he sprock happened to everyone. if i can just... (db concentrates sweat running down his face as a zephyr exactly and precisely wraps up the bees attacking him and sweeps them away) can't fall asleep on the job...
(he stumbles to his feet and quietly reenters the fray....looking like...well like he had been stung by thousands of bees!)
(As the Red Bee gets up from the attack the Sorceress has thrown on him, she walks over to him and lift him into the air by his neck, driving her nail deep enough to draw blood, she then drops him)
I have no need to kill you...yet.
(She then turns her attention to Disaster Boy)
You want you "precious" power, then by all means, take it.
(Sorceress blasts Disaster Boy with a green energy, it returns his powers, but for a few seconds, it temporarily increases his powers, causing mass destruction and forcing the weather to be even worse than before and forcing Disaster Boy to struggle in complete agony. She then teleports away)
(Reboots out of ghost mode to intangibility mode)
Okay, this is getting out of hand. This place hasn't been such a mess since that meteor shower that even I couldn't ignore...
*throws a Reboot hologram over to DB* Imagine yourself like normal, and tap it while saying "Reboot". Should fix you up.
Where's Cobalt and Spellbinder...?
*laughing for the first time, as he watches Morgause continue to drain the life from Igraine. She then teleports away, leaving her fellow Avolonian*
She is powerful, I'll give her that, but even she is not immune to the power I've now amassed. She may think she's attacking me, but her delusions are actually serving me well.
*turns back to the Princess*
Now then...where were we? <grin>
*by this point, the bee swarms have become so intense, that to merely use their powers, the LMBP can kill hundreds of them. This, of course, means that there millions more around*
Yeah, the Avalonites tend to be prone to delusions. They're like that. But they're to be dealt with later.
Anyway, you can't touch me, and as of *throws hologram at Spellbinder and
Reboots her to be intangible* now, can't touch her. I have this thing about not liking torture much.
*picks up Spellbinder (since I'm intangible too, I can pick her up
) and teleports both of us to the force-fielded Mainframe*
(invisible and thinking)
Fool! It was so simply to enter his mind and bring about an illusion of what he though his powers could achieve. He though I attack was attack Igraine with an illusion, but I was only stalling him so that I could reinforce the shield, soon Morgaine and Igraine will stop all the bees with their spell and then I can strike.
Though, this excercise was fun, I got to see MY SON, Disaster Boy in utter agony.
leaving you all to myself...
(DB pops knuckles)
how'd you like to be the black and blue bee.
*watches as Reboot leaves with Princess Crujectra*
<grin> I must admit that I'm surprised, Reboot. I never knew you cared so much for a fellow LMBer.
*a red ooze begins to drip off of the Red Bee's a hands. Upon hitting the floor, it burns right through it to the next level.*
I shall have to pick a new target for my fury. And now that I believe I've found the true measure of both Reboot and the witches powers, whether they are willing to accept it and adapt, or not, I think the LMBP is running out of allies to stop me.
*eyes Invisible Brainiac*
A shame Future could not be here either. I've been meaning to make both young men show the LMBP a new kind of fear...
*teleports back to the fray, having left Spellbinder in his medbay*
They're not "my fellow LMBers." I quit over Yellow Kid's coup and Cobalt's corruption. Like I said, I just have this thing about idiots who decide to use torture... and I haven't even touched you. Yet. I'm more concerned for your prisoners for now.
*Reboots iB to intangibility before Red Bee touches him*
*a look of true surprise comes to the Red Bee's face. It quickly leaves, replaced by a slight grin*
I see. Then you should know that now as we speak, millions of bees are devastating Legion World. Attacking both those you loathe, and those you respect. I shall be sure that Actor Lad feels them especially well.
You can teleport as many away as you can. But there will always be victims. And there will always be those left in the wake of power.
<full smile>
But.
If you are concerned about torture and still have those you dislike, I'd like to wager with myself over what your next move will be.
<picks up the body of Cobalt Kid, who continues to move towards the Red Bee hoping he won't be seen. The ooze burns Cobalt's body immediately. The pain is like known other ever experienced on Legion World by any.>
Save
him Reboot. By either swearing your loyalty to the LMBP, or to me.
Just like I cannot touch you right now, I have ensured through my own means, that neither you or the High Priestess Viviane can touch me, as a true balance. You can try, but it will not succeed. You can only succeed in other ways...
CRACK!!!!!!!!
(db stands over a fallen red bee holding a metal pipe, now bent in the shape of the back of the red bees head)
that's how we do it in the future.
(astral projection)
Nor would I want to touch you, Morgause is the one with the hots for you, though she wants to kill you now, I'm out of this war. I'm only popping in to see High Queen and Morgaine, whom you cannot touch thanks to their force field, and within time their spell will freeze any type of bee on Legion World!
HA!
Ta DB.
*Reboots Cobalt into a giant ameoba, crushing down on the Bee*
If you're still conscious, I like the LMB as a concept, just not the way it's been run of late. It's not as if you ever thought I'd really swear fealty to a torturing imbecile, is it?
*the Red Bee grabs Disaster Boy's leg. It is a pain beyond all comprehension. The young LMBer falls*
*bees swarm from all angles. No one can see anymore. Reboot can hear a voice*
Interesting Reboot, and well worth the ploy I proposed that neither of us knew would get anywhere.
*grabs Outdoor Miner and Faraway Lad, pain issues forth again. Still, their site is blocked*
You cannot save them all, you know...
Originally posted by Reboot:
Ta DB.
*Reboots Cobalt into a giant ameoba, crushing down on the Bee*
If you're still conscious, I like the LMB as a concept, just not the way it's been run of late. It's not as if you ever thought I'd really swear fealty to a torturing imbecile, is it?
<Amoeba Cobalt smiles to himself. Tranforming into an amoeba has suddenly gotten rid of all the pain.>
Someone help! We have a protocol for this!
<immediately, the Cobalt-Amoeba protocols begin, as Dr. One's device, a satellite orbiting Legion World, beams down upon Cobalt, blasting through the Security Office roof, and knocking everyone to the side! Now debris has joined the Bees and LMBers>
That's better...
<Cobalt reemerges, totally naked except for Hulk-like tattered pants, blood and bruises everywhere.>
Hmmm...
Need a minute to recalibrate my forcefield . I can't use any of my tech like this...
*teleports back to his lab in the Mainframe quickly*
<Cobalt blasts a path to the screaming Faraway>
Far, wake up!
Crujeckie, can you hear me?! <uses telepathic connection to Spellbinder> Wake up Darden!
<turning to Faraway Lad>
Now, Far! Send us all away to where the trap has been sprung!
<font size="8">Suddenly, The Red Bee and all the LMBers present, as well as Spellbinder, are teleported to Greg Evigan Island!</font s>
It's up to you now EDE...
story continues here!!!
<The Security Office stands in heap of wreckage.
Far away, on Greg Evigan Island, the final battle rages.
Sorceress Morgausse and Disaster Boy are nowhere to be found.
Hrun the Barbarian and Matlock battle across Legion World.
Reboot considers what to do next.
The Bees continue to swarm>
Igraine and Morgaine are still on Legion World slowly ridding the world of bees.
(within the force field mother and daughter work their magic)
Morgaine, Viviane has entered the war, perhaps we should help her.
>WOP<
Dedman appears suddenly on Greg Evigan Island, for
for some reason dressed in a 70's disco outfit and covered in honey.
The Bees catch the scent and their natural instincts override RedBee's commands. They hover a moment, then dive towards Dedman
"oh no, not again....."
Dedman falls covered in Bees.
No, we must stay as we are, we have contained 90% of the bee infestation, it is up to the others to destroy them.
*the last of the bees leave*
A spot lays in Cobalt's office, where ooze touched it. It is too potent--it will never be cleaned. And it will be a reminder.
Well, the place is in shambles, but Crujeckie has it worst than any. It might be time to begin the protocols that the two of us decided on some time ago.
In the meantime, there are only two people I can think of that can help me rebuild this—the Emerald Empress and the LMBP Spectre. I’ll have to find one…
I guess Security Officers can begin filling back in, but I’ll hold off on the support staff. Poor Jailbait Lass…she hasn’t returned at all since the Bee buried her alive. I don’t know if she’ll ever get over it…
Hrun and Matlock have their own issues to work out, and so does Viv. But I feel better about it now…it’ll work out.
One last thing to do—time to introduce the Inquisitor to his new home.
<grabs Royal Inquisitor from cell>
I can fly back up, unless someone wants to give me a ride…
IB at your service! I'll give you a ride.
... er, not THAT kind of a ride.
Thanks IB
Looks like it might just be me and you around for a bit, as the other Security Officers get a handle on things!
(teleports the fainted Igraine and Morgaine)
They were able to place the majority of this world in a stasis field, they saved a lot of people from pain and agony while we were fighting the Red Bee, they deserve a rest.
And now, I plan on issuing a few new Security Steps, to begin some changes within this Office.
Security Initiative #1
Well, IB, and fellow LMBers and Security Officers, I think this is as good a time as any to let you in on the newest Security Initiative for Legion World.
Some months ago, we came across “Chip in Head” technology that caused quite a controversy on Legion World. My desire to keep Legion World secure, as well as not being able to let go of the irony, got the best of me.
What I’ve installed is an all-access Security Chip directly into my own head, which gives me access to all of Legion World’s technology and communications services. Now, before Reboot or anyone else gets worried, this is not a ‘big-brother’ type of thing, which means I DO NOT HAVE ACCESS TO VIEWING PEOPLE without a warrant, but I do have access to Stoopid Cat’s Terresact system and the various lines of communication to anywhere on Legion World whenever I need it. I can also see who is using the Terresact system at any given time.
Further, I will have complete access to the LMB database, which has extensive files on persons, locations, events and histories throughout the galaxy.
This measure will allow me to have a stronger means to accomplish any form of defense necessary to keep Legion World secure. Keeping in mind that many of you studied history and are aware of the great ‘subtle totalitarianism of the early 21st Century’, I am purposely limiting myself to things that in no way violate anyone’s rights. However, this ‘Chip in Head’ technology will grant me total access to all lines of information, communication and transportation much easier.
Security Initiative #2
Security Biochips- Going along with the new Chip technology, these chips are a bit different from my own chip as they are placed behind the ears of high ranking Security Officers, and are worn, not installed directly (meaning that they can be taken off easily).
These biochips would act as communications devices, and can also be used for tracking purposes should a security staffer be missing. Upon reaching the high ranking of Full Clearance Security Officer, these chips will be standard issue.
Through the ingenious work of our various scientists, the Chip in Head technology apparently will prove useful, after all.
<hands these to Matlock, Invisible Brainiac, Hrun, Space Ranger, Viviane, Dedman, Dev-Em, Emerald Empress and Arachne. Waiting to be claimed are the ones reserves for Shark Lad, Future, Furball, Blockade Boy and other Security Officers.>
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
However, this ‘Chip in Head’ technology will grant me total access to all lines of information, communication and transportation much easier.
And it will allow him to access the Pay-Per-View porn channels for free
The LMBP Spectre should be stopping by sometime to fix up Security Initiatve #3...
In the meantime, I can enjoy the fact that a very large portion of ongoing investigations have been cleared up by the Red Bee mess...why, we're not swamped with open investigations for the first time in ages!
Well, I have not been reinstated, so...
(drops the chip given to her)
...I'll have no need of this.
Viv, due to current events, I have reason to believe your reinstatement will occur shortly. I just need Matlock to make it official at this point, as Space Ranger's vote will have to be passed over in absentia.
We still need our chief magical detective after all
Following along with the Security Office's new initiatives, the Hippie Army of Eryk Davis Ester is in the process of developing Ch'p-in-the-head technology to protect the citizenry of Greg Evigan Island. Details will follow soon...
And at a point where I was almost well-disposed to you.
*treble-encypts all his data*
i'm not sure i can condone this chip in head monitoring devices. it might violate my civil liberties if i were an actual citizen of this timeline and not from the future.
Excellent! This tech will be put to good use afterall!
I've already had my own installed as the main component for my own tech initiative, and it works very well.
One thing has occurred to me recently, which I forgot about: EDE, is there a connection b/t you and Mayavale these days? The good Doctor *did* help me on my peyote induced spiritual quest for my powers, which further shows that his motives are continually ambiguous, and certainly not classifiable as evil or good. Has he been involved with the recent goings-on with your army?
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
The LMBP Spectre should be stopping by sometime to fix up Security Initiatve #3...
Consider it done
Pretzel-maker, coffee pot and all!
*uses the most powerful force of all, the power of the Spectre*
Consider it all restored.
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
Viv, due to current events, I have reason to believe your reinstatement will occur shortly. I just need Matlock to make it official at this point, as Space Ranger's vote will have to be passed over in absentia.
We still need our chief magical detective after all That's sweet, but no thanks!
Oh, Cobalt, if only you knew what "monogamous" meant, you I could be great.
Look I'm acting nice to you and not even trying to kill you, life can be funny that way.
Ta-ta
Originally posted by Reboot:
And at a point where I was almost well-disposed to you.
*treble-encypts all his data*
In an attempt to create a LASTING truce between Reboot and myself, I invite him to help me oversee the new initiatives involving 'Chip in Head' technology, to ensure that civil rights are not violated.
This, above all else, is something I hope that can bring the two of us, despite whatever differences we may have, to on a more common ground.
What do you say Reboot? You cannot argue we are effective as a team in light of recent events.
Well Viv, I want you to know that the offer is there, once Matlock gives clearance, as I know he will. We worked well together before, and I think we could again.
As for monogamy and me and you...well, life's funny sometimes, so we'll have to see
Security Initiatve #4The Reconstruction of the Office of Security- which now appears to be done! Excellent work Spectre, your help is always appreciated. Why don't you stop by more?
And Abin Quank's special Pretzel-maker and Matlock's coffee pot are back in place too! Even the leak from Shark Lad's top floor aquarium office is fixed!
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
Well Viv, I want you to know that the offer is there, once Matlock gives clearance, as I know he will. We worked well together before, and I think we could again.
As for monogamy and me and you...well, life's funny sometimes, so we'll have to see I see everything!
I know where your life shall go, as I do mine.
Let's hope the new Security Office lasts for more than three months this time. I hope you don't mind, Cobie, but I'd like to add something to help protect it.
(erects a hard-light shield around the Office)
This is practically impenetrable, though a powerful enough blast can still shatter it. It won't step teleportation either. I've rigged it so I'll only have to renew it every two weeks.
Excellent IB, and greatly appreciated! This 'Light-Sphere' will fit in perfectly with the new ongoing series of initiatves the Princess and I have started.
It also emphasizes how powerful you've grown with your light powers and how well you control them now. Very good indeed!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~|\~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(jumps into the pool for a relxaing swim)
Eep! Sharky's sniffing at me again!
Nothing brightens the day like a Shark Lad sighting!
<throws prisoner into pool>
Gotta make sure he's getting his dinner too!
You coldn't have waited until I'd gotten out of the pool first?
B-but, you were invisible!
Tell that to Sharky!
I don't have a pool anymore, IBSweetie, but you're welcome to drop by my penthouse for a soak in the hot tub. I promise to watch your butt... errr, back... while you're in there
Watch his back or wash it?
Either/or... I'm here to help
Originally posted by Invisible Brainiac:
Tell that to Sharky! mmmmm ... magically delicious ...
I am SO there, your majesty.
Although you'll have to pardon me, but Sharky partially tore my swimsuit, and there are quite a few holes in it now...
I'll help you figure out how to cover them, IBSweetie
Cobalt Kid, you're actions make me sick!
Morning sickness? That doesn't bode well for Legion World...
Cobie dear, you of all people shouldn't even joke about something like that
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
Morning sickness? That doesn't bode well for Legion World... Ha, like I would ever let you get me pregnant, no as I said, you make me sick, but I can't remember why?
Oh, yes, never mind, you haven't done it yet.
Oh, great. Foreshadowing.
No good can come from this.
When I started foreshadowing a few months ago, it led to a sixteen week crossover. *Gulp*, I hope that is not about to strike...
(bum-bum-bum...)
That's it.
I'm moving to Jersey.
Just be sure you don't turn into Jersey.
Originally posted by Arachne:
Just be sure you don't turn into Jersey.
Outdoor miner. Pure, soft, warm, and buttons up the front! A jersey you'll want to wear every day
Any chance this could become just another one of those great unresolved plot threads?
If this turns into another great crisis, I may not be able to enjoy my swim with the Princess
IBSweetie, I was up to my chest in the last crisis, so by all means, feel free to spend this one with me in my hot tub
Interestingly enough, I spent quite a lot of time up to Crujeckie’s chest in the last crisis too
No wonder things dragged on so long
<font size="8"> EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! </font s>
Pooh. Somebody always spoils the moment.
And I was just starting to relax and enjoy myself, too.
Did I mention that my personal suite is soundproof? Not that anything improper is going on in there, but a celebrity has to take certain precautions
Did I mention I'm moving to Jersey?
Another area that needs a good cleaning...
A Janitor's work is never done..
I still have the pretzel maker you gave me long ago, Abin--my own favorite part of the Security Office.
Aside from Jailbait Lass's desk, but no need to go there right now...
Why are all these statue fragments stuffed into the closet behind Jailbait Lass's Desk?
Preparations for the 5th Great Statue of Cobalt Kid?
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
Preparations for the 5th Great Statue of Cobalt Kid? Ummm.... Cobie I hate to break this to you, Buddy... But, Ummm... None of your statues were great... Well actually the first one was pretty cool,
after it got turned into a BIDET!
Statue fragments aren't the worst of it. You should see the *choke* drawn-on comic books I found in the closet! But who would do such a thing? And with CRAYONS, even!
Was there a Demon Rugrat convention happening?
In the Office of Security anything can happen - and usually does. Just step quietly over the drunken cheerleaders, or you'll wake the sheep.
Originally posted by Fat Cramer:
In the Office of Security anything can happen - and usually does. Just step quietly over the drunken cheerleaders, or you'll wake the sheep.
Someone's gotta do paperwork, and its amazing what sheep can do when you keep them happy.
Note to self: adjust the bio-filter on my front door to more thoroughly screen Cobie Cakes when he comes to visit... just in case
I hardly ever visit the office of security. That comes from having outgrown my youthful feelings of insecurity.
Originally posted by Redjack:
I apply for membership, but I was already kicked out of the Sherrifs' Office, Southlake Minimall Security, and The Boy Scouts....thrice. Don't suppose I have the best refernces Jeepers! What ever happened to new Auxillery Officer Redjack? His paychecks are piling up on my desk!
Maybe he finally got that Boy Scouts gig he was after.
It's been relatively quiet on LW lately...
...Are there any LMB weddings on the horizon? Usually they lead to something horrible happening...
Actually, I think your weddings are the only ones that lead to something horrible
Never mind the weddings its the christenings that start to worry me.
Originally posted by Spellbinder:
Actually, I think your weddings are the only ones that lead to something horrible I'm so glad it was my other persona, I mean Viv, that almost married Cobalt Kid, he looks like he would want a lot of the sex.
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
...Are there any LMB weddings on the horizon?
Well, I did propose to Actor Lad not to long ago... and he accepted. We're still in the planning stages though. Does that count?
Originally posted by Caliente:
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
[b]...Are there any LMB weddings on the horizon?
Just remember, unless you're me, your child will be a demon.
Originally posted by Luna:
Just remember, unless you're me, your child will be a demon.
I'm going to have a demon child???
...I'm going to have a child, period???
Where's the disturbed graemlin...?
Well, seeing as we're just friends and all right now Cali, I never told you this before, but just in case: I'm doomed to have all my children grow up to be evil demons, robots or future world conquerors bent on destroying the LMB and Legion World!
So far I've had 6-19, depending on how you interpret the history of the LMB, and almost all of them ending up doing it! (Well, two became LMBers, but that's neither here nor there...)
Pretty sure Actor Lad's seed is as pure as the white snow in Security Office bathrooms though!
Good to know, Cobie.
Truthfully, I'm more traumatized with having kids (hello, only 18) than them actually being demons -- I'm firm in the belief that all children are demons. That's why I wanna be a teacher! ><
...wait, wait, wait what do you mean 'right now'...?
Well, the future can be so unpredictable...
*snerk*
You're one of a kind Cobie...
...and we thank the good Lord for that!!
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
Pretty sure Actor Lad's seed is as pure as the white snow in Security Office bathrooms though!
Uh-huh.
Given your record for accuracy, they may as well name the kid "Damian" and get it over with.
Originally posted by Outdoor Miner:
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
[b]Pretty sure Actor Lad's seed is as pure as the white snow in Security Office bathrooms though!
Given your record for accuracy, they may as well name the kid "Damian" and get it over with.[/b]I thought "Diablo" would make a better name.
This place hasn't been destroyed lately, for shame.
Jailbait Lass, get me some coffee--STRONG
We have to start preparing for the possible wedding of Outdoor Miner and Selene. Might as well call Space Ranger in--actually, might as well make it the whole LMB.
And the Reserves.
And the Light Brigade. Hell, call Earth-4 and get the SMB.
Originally posted by Luna:
I'm so glad it was my other persona, I mean Viv, that almost married Cobalt Kid, he looks like he would want a lot of the sex.
Insatiable is his middle name
Crujeckie knows all about the finer points I don't always display in public
Well, your lack of pants in public makes me wonder just what other points you have to display...
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
Jailbait Lass, get me some coffee--[b]STRONG
We have to start preparing for the possible wedding of Outdoor Miner and Selene. Might as well call Space Ranger in--actually, might as well make it the whole LMB.
And the Reserves.
And the Light Brigade. Hell, call Earth-4 and get the SMB.[/b]
HA! She will never marry him, he's a mortal!
And I'm relatively sure he spurned her affections...
...is she going to hurt me now...?
Originally posted by Caliente:
And I'm relatively sure he spurned her affections...
...is she going to hurt me now...?
Hmm...no she may hurt the bug, but that's not probably, either.
Just checking. One can never be toooo careful these days when dealing with awesomely powered chicas...
Don't count yourself short there, little firefly.
Hee, I don't!! But I am still easily intimidated by one who would dare to lust after Miner...
...I'm old-fashined that way.
Maybe we could settle the matter with a swimsuit competition.
I'm sure we could easily find a panel of judges
Originally posted by Outdoor Miner:
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
[b]Pretty sure Actor Lad's seed is as pure as the white snow in Security Office bathrooms though!
Given your record for accuracy, they may as well name the kid "Damian" and get it over with. [/b]I'm totally non-evil people, why don't y'all get that?
It snows in the Security Office commode?!?
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
Jailbait Lass, get me some coffee--[b]STRONG
We have to start preparing for the possible wedding of Outdoor Miner and Selene. Might as well call Space Ranger in... [/b]
Jailbait Lass is Cobalt Kid available? If not would you kindly inform him that I have received his summons and have reported for duty.
Oh, and would you also have that intern, what is her name Luny, Vicky-Anne, something like that, make me copies of all reports pertaining to the current crisis.
Thank You
Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Who decided my office was the auxilliary stowage closet?)
Good luck Ranger! There are no reports on the current Crisis. I've checked. Likely because Cobie hasn't gotten around to deciding what the current Crisis is going to be yet!
Hmmmmm...while we wait for him to decide would you care to join me on my current undercovers project?
I just stopped in to pick up my accummulated paychecks before getting back to my daily "grind"
:emeraldeye:
I guess cleaning out my office can wait a while longer.
Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Undercover assignments with the Empress are FUN!)
Goody! Come with me, MY office is much more comfortable for discussing the ins and outs of this Undercovers Assignment.
Ah, good to see Emerald Empress and Space Ranger are back in the Security Office again, doing what they do best.
Working together, that is...
Jailbait Lass, leave this memo for both of them--no current crisis right now, but there are protocols for the 8 hypothetical most likely future crisis that I've worked out.
The LMB Constitutional Convention shall be the most important order of busienss.
Originally posted by Invisible Brainiac:
Maybe we could settle the matter with a swimsuit competition.
I'm sure we could easily find a panel of judges Selene and I would never allow mere mortals to judge us on the basis of our looks alone... we are far above such things.
(Right Selene?)
MRrrrrroooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!! *****
****HELP!!! Emergency!! Red Alert!!! I've been robbed!!! Send out the troops! Call in the reserves!!!!!! Let no stone be unturned!!!!
Mweeeee!!!!!!!!!!!! *****
****Well? Where is everyone? How come you haven't found it yet? What could possibly be more important than finding my bowl of Cream?
Queen Connie! Have you seen my ball of yarn?
*Hisssss!* I bet that sneaky monkey stole my ball of yarn!
Mrooowwww! ****
Hi Jinx! No I haven't seen your ball of yarn but I'll bet whoever ws evil enough to steal my bowl of cream stole your yarn as well!
And what is with these humans? Don't they see a Crisis is underway here?
Originally posted by Caliente:
Originally posted by Invisible Brainiac:
[b] Maybe we could settle the matter with a swimsuit competition.
I'm sure we could easily find a panel of judges
Selene and I would never allow mere mortals to judge us on the basis of our looks alone... we are far above such things.
(Right Selene?)[/b]There shall be no such contest with my sisters involved.
Originally posted by Space Ranger:
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
[b] Jailbait Lass, get me some coffee--[b]STRONG
We have to start preparing for the possible wedding of Outdoor Miner and Selene. Might as well call Space Ranger in... [/b]
Oh, and would you also have that intern, what is her name Luny, Vicky-Anne, something like that, make me copies of all reports pertaining to the current crisis.
Thank You
Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Who decided my office was the auxilliary stowage closet?)[/b]Personal attacks on the Third Race are not wise, my Lord may decide to descend to this plane and obliterate you, I'd do so myself, but there are laws I obey.
Cobaltus, please notify this foolish worker of yours that I am not Viviane, the High Priestess of Avalon, let him know that if this harassment continues, I will have to take legal action against this office.
Hours have passed and still she sits, positioned on the center of Cobie's desk, facing the door, regal and apparently unperturbed, save for that tail. The truth can always be accertained by watching the tail.
This tail is slashing back and forthm as if a whip were being cracked over and over again. It's apparent to anyone that knows felines...Queen Connie is not a happy camper!
Cobie had better beware!
Patiently she awaits his return.
He'd better have some answers! Or my bowl of cream! 
Originally posted by Caliente:
But I am still easily intimidated by one who would dare to lust after Miner...
Geez, it's not like the earth opens up and swallows you whole or anything.
Not every time, anyway.
Originally posted by Outdoor Miner:
Originally posted by Caliente:
[b] But I am still easily intimidated by one who would dare to lust after Miner...
Not every time, anyway.[/b]Doesn't it?
Is Miner a ladies man or a man's man...just checking..
**Purr**
Miner's a big bug.
**Purr**
Originally posted by legionadventureman:
Is Miner a ladies man or a man's man...just checking..
He's aaaaaalllll insect, man!
Originally posted by Outdoor Miner:
Originally posted by Caliente:
[b] But I am still easily intimidated by one who would dare to lust after Miner...
Not every time, anyway. [/b]...
...
<walks in with Connie's bowl of cream>
Ah, had to pull an all night shift to find it, but I'm always glad to do my duty for Legion World's most upstanding citizens. Here you go, Connie! And I have Jinx's missing items too...
And Luna, there are no grounds to sue this office over personnal comments between you and Space Ranger. I am, however, willing to make amends by offering you this small gift--
<hands bonquet of roses, box of chocolates>
--in hopes that this will bring you a smile.
(Hm, and now I have to revisit my plans for the 'Earth opening up Miner's future bride Prophecy'...)
Dont worry, Cobie, i have Stoopid Cat's cream and some tuna fish....you looked busy, so i thought i'd give you a hand...
0000
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
<walks in with Connie's bowl of cream>
Ah, had to pull an all night shift to find it, but I'm always glad to do my duty for Legion World's most upstanding citizens. Here you go, Connie! And I have Jinx's missing items too...
And Luna, there are no grounds to sue this office over personnal comments between you and Space Ranger. I am, however, willing to make amends by offering you this small gift--
<hands bonquet of roses, box of chocolates>
--in hopes that this will bring you a smile.
(Hm, and now I have to revisit my plans for the 'Earth opening up Miner's future bride Prophecy'...)
You must have never heard or verbal assualt and slander!
Why must you people be so mean to me all because I know someone who was once your friend and then tried to kill you, and then your friend again. WHY!!?
Mean? All I did was hand you flowers and chocolates! I didn't even try to cop a feel for once, to show I'm turning over a new leaf...
After all, Cobie is an animal lover...
Normally, I'd insert a direct reference to loving felines that would serve as double entendre, but I think I'll stick with this whole 'turning over a new leaf' thing.
(10 minutes into it and I'm having trouble...)
I have come to my conclusion, and I AM INSULTED!!!
How dare you try to bribe me, you're just scared that you can't control your pathetic worm of an employee!
I loath you, Cobaltus, the former proud and brave...
Hey, Cobes, i know what you meant, and my mind is as dirty as the rest of them...
Originally posted by Luna:
I have come to my conclusion, and I AM INSULTED!!!
How dare you try to bribe me, you're just scared that you can't control your pathetic worm of an employee!
I loath you, Cobaltus, the former proud and brave...
Oh there you are, Luna.
It's about time you came to work, don't interns have regular hours anymore?
Anyway, the stack in your in-basket needs to be filed, and the stack next to your in-basket needs to be carried over to Medicus One. I just spoke with Dr. One and he has agreed to perform a detailed forensic analysis of the body parts in the box on your chair.
Chop, Chop, pick your chin up off the floor and get moving, you're wasting daylight.
Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(She seems bright enough but she doesn't seem to grasp her job very well...)
Let's see: today I woke up and the first thing I did was comb the LW sewers looking for Stoopid Cat.
And the day has gotten progressively worse.
Tomorrow: start boozing and whoring again.
**Purr**
Cobalt, I need your help. I didn't mean to do what I did and now she hates me. She'll destroy me if she can.
You're the only one who can protect me...
**Purr**
Well, SC, you can rely on me to protect you. I see no reason for her to destroy you. A little misunderstanding, a fight between long-time partners, but I don't want your life to be at stake.
We have a few different ways to hide you, and Space Ranger and I are powerful enough to at least keep her at bay while we do so.
But first: what did you do? And if you haven't given her secrets away yet, I urge you (and I mean urge you) to not do it.
**Meow**
I... I... almost killed her.
But I didn't know it would hurt her. It was just an accident.
But now she doesn't trust me anymore...
She's afraid I'll do it again...
**Meow**
Originally posted by Space Ranger:
Originally posted by Luna:
[b] I have come to my conclusion, and I AM INSULTED!!!
How dare you try to bribe me, you're just scared that you can't control your pathetic worm of an employee!
I loath you, Cobaltus, the former proud and brave...
It's about time you came to work, don't interns have regular hours anymore?
Anyway, the stack in your in-basket needs to be filed, and the stack next to your in-basket needs to be carried over to Medicus One. I just spoke with Dr. One and he has agreed to perform a detailed forensic analysis of the body parts in the box on your chair.
Chop, Chop, pick your chin up off the floor and get moving, you're wasting daylight.
Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(She seems bright enough but she doesn't seem to grasp her job very well...)[/b]I see, you want to screw me. You want bake my potato, you want to lather your hot dog in my ketchup. You want to drain your twinkie of it's cream filling!
And you know I wouldn't dare let that happen, so you feel the need to be an ignorant ASS instead!
I think you need therapy.
Originally posted by Luna:
Originally posted by Space Ranger:
[b]
Originally posted by Luna:
[b] I have come to my conclusion, and I AM INSULTED!!!
How dare you try to bribe me, you're just scared that you can't control your pathetic worm of an employee!
I loath you, Cobaltus, the former proud and brave...
Oh there you are, Luna.
It's about time you came to work, don't interns have regular hours anymore?
Anyway, the stack in your in-basket needs to be filed, and the stack next to your in-basket needs to be carried over to Medicus One. I just spoke with Dr. One and he has agreed to perform a detailed forensic analysis of the body parts in the box on your chair.
Chop, Chop, pick your chin up off the floor and get moving, you're wasting daylight.
Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(She seems bright enough but she doesn't seem to grasp her job very well...)[/b]
And you know I wouldn't dare let that happen, so you feel the need to be an ignorant ASS instead!
I think you need therapy. [/b]No, I need an Office Administrative Intern who does the job she was hired to do.
What is so hard to understand about that?
Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Sheesh, Thick is an Understatement!)
Originally posted by Space Ranger:
Originally posted by Luna:
[b]
Originally posted by Space Ranger:
[b] </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Arial, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Arial, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Luna:
<strong> I have come to my conclusion, and I AM INSULTED!!!
How dare you try to bribe me, you're just scared that you can't control your pathetic worm of an employee!
I loath you, Cobaltus, the former proud and brave...
Oh there you are, Luna.
It's about time you came to work, don't interns have regular hours anymore?
Anyway, the stack in your in-basket needs to be filed, and the stack next to your in-basket needs to be carried over to Medicus One. I just spoke with Dr. One and he has agreed to perform a detailed forensic analysis of the body parts in the box on your chair.
Chop, Chop, pick your chin up off the floor and get moving, you're wasting daylight.
Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(She seems bright enough but she doesn't seem to grasp her job very well...)[/b]
And you know I wouldn't dare let that happen, so you feel the need to be an ignorant ASS instead!
I think you need therapy. [/b]No, I need an Office Administrative Intern who does the job she was hired to do.
What is so hard to understand about that?
Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Sheesh, Thick is an Understatement!)</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Arial, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">When did I get hired, who hired me?
Cobaltus didn't , you didn't, I never applied, so what delusion makes you think I work in this pit!
Originally posted by Luna:
Originally posted by Space Ranger:
[b]
Originally posted by Luna:
[b] </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Arial, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Arial, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Space Ranger:
<strong> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Arial, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Arial, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Luna:
<strong> I have come to my conclusion, and I AM INSULTED!!!
How dare you try to bribe me, you're just scared that you can't control your pathetic worm of an employee!
I loath you, Cobaltus, the former proud and brave...
Oh there you are, Luna.
It's about time you came to work, don't interns have regular hours anymore?
Anyway, the stack in your in-basket needs to be filed, and the stack next to your in-basket needs to be carried over to Medicus One. I just spoke with Dr. One and he has agreed to perform a detailed forensic analysis of the body parts in the box on your chair.
Chop, Chop, pick your chin up off the floor and get moving, you're wasting daylight.
Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(She seems bright enough but she doesn't seem to grasp her job very well...)[/b]
And you know I wouldn't dare let that happen, so you feel the need to be an ignorant ASS instead!
I think you need therapy. [/b]No, I need an Office Administrative Intern who does the job she was hired to do.
What is so hard to understand about that?
Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Sheesh, Thick is an Understatement!)</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Arial, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">When did I get hired, who hired me?
Cobaltus didn't , you didn't, I never applied, so what delusion makes you think I work in this pit! </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Arial, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Ah, But Cobalt did hire you... And assign you to that desk right over there. See it? The one that says LUNA on the name plate?
And no I don't think you do any work here...
That's The Problem!
Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(What's this Cobaltus Crap?)
Originally posted by Space Ranger:
Originally posted by Luna:
[b]
Originally posted by Space Ranger:
[b] </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Arial, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Arial, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Luna:
<strong> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Arial, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Arial, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Space Ranger:
<strong> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Arial, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Arial, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Luna:
<strong> I have come to my conclusion, and I AM INSULTED!!!
How dare you try to bribe me, you're just scared that you can't control your pathetic worm of an employee!
I loath you, Cobaltus, the former proud and brave...
Oh there you are, Luna.
It's about time you came to work, don't interns have regular hours anymore?
Anyway, the stack in your in-basket needs to be filed, and the stack next to your in-basket needs to be carried over to Medicus One. I just spoke with Dr. One and he has agreed to perform a detailed forensic analysis of the body parts in the box on your chair.
Chop, Chop, pick your chin up off the floor and get moving, you're wasting daylight.
Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(She seems bright enough but she doesn't seem to grasp her job very well...)[/b]
And you know I wouldn't dare let that happen, so you feel the need to be an ignorant ASS instead!
I think you need therapy. [/b]No, I need an Office Administrative Intern who does the job she was hired to do.
What is so hard to understand about that?
Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Sheesh, Thick is an Understatement!)</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Arial, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">When did I get hired, who hired me?
Cobaltus didn't , you didn't, I never applied, so what delusion makes you think I work in this pit! </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Arial, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Ah, But Cobalt did hire you... And assign you to that desk right over there. See it? The one that says LUNA on the name plate?
And no I don't think you do any work here...
That's The Problem!
Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(What's this Cobaltus Crap?)</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Arial, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Ah, but he didn't! In fact my people are banned from working here by our own laws!
So by law I can not work here!
Oh, look it doesn't say Luna, it says Lass, as in JAILBAIT LASS, you blind moron!!!
Really, she could have just said "I Quit"
Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(But then again, where's the fun in that?)
Originally posted by Stoopid Cat:
**Purr**
Cobalt, I need your help. I didn't mean to do what I did and now she hates me. She'll destroy me if she can.
You're the only one who can protect me...
**Purr**
I'll do my best to see to your needs, too SC...would a nice bowl of cream convince you that i am your friend?
(comes back in, steals the office's best pencil sharpner)
Originally posted by Luna:
(comes back in, steals the office's best pencil sharpner)
Nobody in the Security Office uses pencils, so nobody cares...
Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Omni-coms! you talk, they write.)
Excuse me, is Cobalt Kid in? I need to speak to him about some videos he might've procured...
Hello Miss Caliente? is it?
I am the Space Ranger, Deputy Chief of Security here on Legion World. Perhaps I may be of assistance?
Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Videos? Interesting...)
No. This is personal. Between Cobie, er, excuse me, Cobalt Kid and myself. Please inform him that I wish to speak with him on the subject at his earliest convenience.
Oh, and for my friend Luna...
<lights Space Ranger's pants on fire>
...I think you're the one that needs to be fired around here. Hmph!
Now that's not the way to light a Daxamite's fire.
<A quick puff of super-breath douses the fire and freezes Caliente on the spot>
Right, That's assaulting an officer, Book her Jailbait.
Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Luna beats Tamper by three seconds)
<emerges from evil genius door, grabs frozen Caliente, goes through genius door to undisclosed location closing portal behind him>
A Daxamite, eh? I thought you were an enemy operative from the planet Xenon...
Damm, I wonder how long it will take them to realize that all tesseracts bordering the Security Office lead directly to the cells?
Jailbait, Lock down the cellblock will you? I'm going to lunch...
Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(The charges won't stick anyway. It's not like she could hurt me.)
She could hurt you, she just has a heart, unlike you.
And who said Tamper Lad used a tesseract?
Well I got that one wrong...
Tamper beat Luna by over a minute...
Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(I must be getting old)
Don't worry, Ranger, can i buy you a beer?
<The rampaging mob has made its way to the Office of Security from the untamed streets of Legion World, leaving a trail of smashed parking meters and mail drop boxes in its wake.
A siege of the Office of Security is initiated. All the entrances are blockaded as the crowd forms barricades sealing access.
From the crowd a discharge of weapons, then the flash of a wide spectrum electromagnetic pulses disabling all electronic gear inside the Office of Security.>
It's like Desparate Housewives in here.
<Spellbinder, Crusader and Maxx drop down from the sky to land before the entrance to the Security Center>
People, I implore you, lay down your weapons and disperse. There are better ways of voicing your grievances. There is no need for anyone to be hurt today.
Originally posted by Tamper Lad:
<The rampaging mob has made its way to the Office of Security from the untamed streets of Legion World, leaving a trail of smashed parking meters and mail drop boxes in its wake.
A siege of the Office of Security is initiated. All the entrances are blockaded as the crowd forms barricades sealing access.
From the crowd a discharge of weapons, then the flash of a wide spectrum electromagnetic pulses disabling all electronic gear inside the Office of Security.>
<Follows the mob quietly using his power ring to repair any and all damage they do.>
**Sigh** A janitor's work is never done....
Originally posted by Spellbinder:
<Spellbinder, Crusader and Maxx drop down from the sky to land before the entrance to the Security Center>
People, I implore you, lay down your weapons and disperse. There are better ways of voicing your grievances. There is no need for anyone to be hurt today.
The mob issues a press release echoing their placards.
Manifesto of the SPQL
The para-millitary police state apparatus that has terrorized Legion World for too long. The SPQL exists to restore decency and good governance to this world through revolutionary means if necessary.
We implore those who would be free from tyranny to stand and join us as we overthrow the fist of the oppressor and the instruments of his rule.
Demands regarding the Siege of Office of Security
- As a gesture of goodwill we demand that Jailbait Lass be immediately released from Cobalt's Den of Depravity.
- Space Ranger is to be exiled
- Cobalt Kid must be removed and turned over to the mob to stand trial
-End Communique-
Originally posted by Tamper Lad:
- As a gesture of goodwill we demand that Jailbait Lass be immediately released from Cobalt's Den of Depravity.
- Space Ranger is to be exiled
- Cobalt Kid must be removed and turned over to the mob to stand trial
Well, let's see. First, I wasn't aware that Jailbait Lass was being held against her will. Are you certain that your intelligence is correct?
Secondly, since Space Ranger has broken no Legion World laws that I am aware of, there really are no grounds for him to be exiled.
And last but not least, witch hunts are so 19th Century. Not that it matters, since, like Space Ranger, Cobalt Kid has broken no Legion World laws that I am aware of, and hence cannot be put on trial.
My suggestion would be to forward your list of grievances to your local Congresssentient. It will be up to them to determine whether or not there is a need for new legislation.
Thank you for voicing your opinions in a more peaceful way.
Good day
<Cobalt Kid stands on the roof top>
"Look, up in the sky!"
"It's Cobalt Kid!"
<Cobalt removes cape, revealing toga>
"He's so dreamy"
"What's he got?!"
<Cobalt flies down with 15 kegs magnetically>
People, please! No one wants a riot! Don’t be dupes! You’re Legion Worlders, and you’ve got it good! And I promised I’d always protect you and I always have!
Now how about a beer?
<a massive keg party ensues>
<Jailbait Lass turns to Cobalt>
"Release me? Can’t a girl have a job around here without being treated like some prisoner? What blatant chauvinism!”
“Tell me about it,” says Cobalt, “to think they wanted the legendary hero Cobalt Kid, and Space Ranger, the most decorated ranger in the nearest 18 galaxies…”
(Invisible Brainiac flies overhead, surveying the mob and watching against any possible meta-powered rioters)
It should be fun to see them try to break through the light bubble I encased the Security Office in.
I just hope nobody thinks to try and teleport in. Poor Jailbait Lass is terrified enough as it is.
(IB spots the keg party that started)
Hey! Save some for me!
<What was once shouts and jeers has turned into loud rounds of ‘Row, Row, Row Your Boat’, as Cobalt Kid, Emerald Empress and Space Ranger start a fundraiser to raise money for the Rigel Fever fund by having a kissing booth.>
<Appearing from convention>
It's pointless Cobalt Kid, I've selected this mob based on alcohol intolerance.
They will not lift the siege until you have submitted to revolutionary justice.
<returns to convention>
I'n not sure alcohol intolerance
exists on Legion World. We're pretty much a nation of Benders.
[It’s a Wonderful Life]
People gather around the piano, as Christmas music plays.
“Mr. Martini, how about some wine?” says Mary Tyler Moore.
People start piling money on fundraiser table. An older gentleman gives Jailbait Lass a little necklace.
“Ladies and gentleman…LardLad!”
<LardLad enters in pilots uniform, and grabs a glass. He raises it>
“To my brother EDE…the richest man in town!”
<Cobalt notices a book.>
“What’s that Cobalt,” asks Emerald Empress. On it reads: “Cobalt, always remember—no man is a loser who has friends. And kegs and Togas. Your friend, Dr. Mayavale.”
<a bell rings>
“You know, Lucien Lad said, every time a bell rings, a reincarnated former villain achieves former enlightenment!”
“That’s right honey…atta boy Mayavale…atta boy”
Should old acquaintance be forgot…[It’s a Wonderful Life]
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
<walks in with Connie's bowl of cream>
Ah, had to pull an all night shift to find it, but I'm always glad to do my duty for Legion World's most upstanding citizens. Here you go, Connie! And I have Jinx's missing items too...
MeooW
*
He's such a good boy! A little slow at times but dependable and we love him all the same! Good Cobie.
Now I'd better go see what ll that ruckus is about. I'll bet it's that impertinent Tamper Lad causing trouble. If he is I may just have to take matters into my own hands.
Faraway Lad walks calmly through the crowds, talking gently to small groups of them. Using his full diplomatic powers he pursuades them that Tamper Lad is in error and that they should return to their homes and loved one's.
The diplomancy works and larges sections of the crowd disapate back home.
Between the beer and the diplomancy Tamper Lads mob now numbers only a few dozen deluded followers.
<Cobalt Kid now uses his rhetoric to compliment them on their fiery attitude. He then turns that into pressure for them to sign up for the armies of the Triumvirate. Now the decision is up to them to lose face and look cowardly, or go home as the day turns to evening>
[aside to Faraway] Let's see how tough the really are...
<Tamper appears, gathers remaining supporters round and transports them to a secure, undisclosed location>
Tamper--wait!
All I wanted to say was that this can be worked out without violence. I don't see how anyone here fundamentially opposes anyone else...
<a giant Peant Butter Cup appears, and a sputtering IB pulls himself out of it>
It's no use, Cobie, we can't follow him. He's got the place booby-trapped!
Cobie!! Stop chasing my man!! Just let him be his evil self and all will be relatively peaceful. Anyway, we have business to discuss.
<takes a seat>
I believe I heard a rumor about some kind of security camera footage or something depicting me in a less-than-wholesome image. I will be willing to drop any legal action against you and the security office if you'll just give me all copies of said tape...
This must stop!
While I beleive this place is more than respectable, and Space Ranger could get chronic diarrhea I and wouldn't give a care, I think Tamper Lad needs to be STOPPED!!!
Legion World has already dealt with Red Bee and Evil Priestess that blackened the world, this is not needed.
Also, the attack is not just on the LMBP, but the world, and that includes Nightcrawler, anyone that hurts him must SUFFER!
So I conclude that Tamper Lad and his associates should be arrested!
Hmmm, the current constitutional crisis has made for strange bed-fellows. I wonder what will happen in the days to come.
Originally posted by Invisible Brainiac:
<a giant Peant Butter Cup appears, and a sputtering IB pulls himself out of it>
It's no use, Cobie, we can't follow him. He's got the place booby-trapped!
Why do I suddenly have the munchies...?
Hmmm, this is getting interesting. Almost enough to drag me away from my undercovers assignment.
Caliente, your concern is noted, and fully understood. I currently have in my possession some video footage of Tamper Lad from a camera I placed on him that he has since destroyed. As of this point, I have not had the chance to reveiw the footage.
As a show of my willingness to settle all matters peacefully, and because deep down there is *some* sort of semblance of a gentleman in me, I will hand these tapes over to you (original copies and all) without even viewing them myself.
My apologies, my intentions were not directed at capturing the footage that was captured, if what you say is true.
<hands over tapes>
Now, would you like a pretzel?
Let this be an example to anyone who seeks to use force and vilence to achieve his or her desired ends.
We really CAN all get along!
Originally posted by Luna:
So I conclude that Tamper Lad and his associates should be arrested!
Luna... how could you?? I... I feel so betrayed...
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
Caliente, your concern is noted, and fully understood. I currently have in my possession some video footage of Tamper Lad from a camera I placed on him that he has since destroyed. As of this point, I have not had the chance to reveiw the footage.
As a show of my willingness to settle all matters peacefully, and because deep down there is *some* sort of semblance of a gentleman in me, I will hand these tapes over to you (original copies and all) without even viewing them myself.
My apologies, my intentions were not directed at capturing the footage that was captured, if what you say is true.
<hands over tapes>
Now, would you like a pretzel?
<looks at Cobalt suspiciously>
No... I think I really must be going. I want to leave before that Ranger fellow returns. Thank you for your cooperation... I guess not everything they say about the Security Office is true.
<kisses IB on the cheek as she leaves>
You're cute kid. Even when you smell like peanut butter.
Originally posted by Emerald Empress:
Hmmm, this is getting interesting. Almost enough to drag me away from my undercovers assignment.
Only almost, I hope...
Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Get back here, woman...)
aw man....what did i miss this time. jeeez.
Originally posted by Caliente:
Originally posted by Luna:
[b]So I conclude that Tamper Lad and his associates should be arrested!
[/b]There is a higher purpose for everything, and right now an evil egomaniac is not needed, though you could easily denouce him, aren't you engaged to another man. One that is loved by society.
Luna... how could you? Surely I've achieved megalomanical status by now. After all I've appointed myself consul and tribune. Perhaps I should add to my titles to convince you. How about:
Physicus Maximus - Defender of Knowledge and Discoverer of Universal Truth
Now for the real reason I'm here. Cobalt Kid I need to find Abin Quank. He needs to pay for ruining Caliente's coiffure this morn.
Let me know when you get an impressive title Tamper. Something else else like King...or Caesar...or Emperor. Then I'll be impressed.
Empress those Imperial titles are intimidating to the plebes. The key to power is to gather democratic sounding titles until you have dictatorial powers.
Tell your boss that I need to find AQ. Oh by the way, you should send someone to scoop up Space Ranger from the convention hall pool. The whipping cream is melting into the water and is really such a mess.
Originally posted by Tamper Lad:
Empress those Imperial titles are intimidating to the plebes. The key to power is to gather democratic sounding titles until you have dictatorial powers.
Tell your boss that I need to find AQ. Oh by the way, you should send someone to scoop up Space Ranger from the convention hall pool. The whipping cream is melting into the water and is really such a mess.
Oh, I see. Consul, Tribune and Physicus Maximus are sooooooooooooo much more democratic sounding. At least they understand what an Empress is Tamper, your titles will just leave them scratching their heads.
A pleasure to make your acquaintance Empress but I must be going.
Originally posted by Tamper Lad:
Luna... how could you? Surely I've achieved megalomanical status by now. After all I've appointed myself consul and tribune. Perhaps I should add to my titles to convince you. How about:
[b]Physicus Maximus - Defender of Knowledge and Discoverer of Universal Truth
Now for the real reason I'm here. Cobalt Kid I need to find Abin Quank. He needs to pay for ruining Caliente's coiffure this morn.[/b]
AH HAHAHAHAHA!
What an amusing pipsqueak, court jester should be your title.
Originally posted by Luna:
There is a higher purpose for everything, and right now an evil egomaniac is not needed, though you could easily denouce him, aren't you engaged to another man. One that is loved by society.
But he never pays me any attention!! And I've always had a thing for the bad boys...
...he got rid of Space Ranger!! Can't you give him a chance?? Pleeeeease?? For me?
CUT TO:
<Space Ranger sitting in his office at the Security Offices, munching on a bowl of mixed Rum Rasin and Peppermint Stick ice cream>
Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Spellbinder's Illusions work so nicely at times...)
He killed, he's a more derranged than I thought, he must be stopped!!!
Luna darling, I'm just misunderstood. Someday when all is bright in the world again I'll give up my powers and titles; buy a nice cottage by the lake; and Cali and I will row out and watch the sun set over the green and pleasant land that we've made.
Originally posted by Tamper Lad:
Luna darling, I'm just misunderstood. Someday when all is bright in the world again I'll give up my powers and titles; buy a nice cottage by the lake; and Cali and I will row out and watch the sun set over the green and pleasant land that we've made.
Oh, barf.
Hey, that's a good idea.
(blasts Tamper Lad with a temporary acid vomiting spell)
Luna, i thought you were on the side of good
Originally posted by legionadventureman:
Luna, i thought you were on the side of good
I'm on my side, and right now that's not evil.
That has to be good, then
Originally posted by legionadventureman:
That has to be good, then
Mortal comprehension is truly limited.
<rinses mouth>
Well that was unpleasant. You're not a romantic are you Luna?
*sigh* Couldn't just all get along... nooooo... friends and boyfriends. Pfftt.
<takes Peppermint stick from Space Ranger>
Mine you jerk. Try to take it back and I'm melting it all.
Originally posted by Caliente:
*sigh* Couldn't just all get along... nooooo... friends and boyfriends. Pfftt.
<takes Peppermint stick from Space Ranger>
Mine you jerk. Try to take it back and I'm melting it all.
Are you the new Office Administative Intern?
Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(The last one didn't work out very well...)
Cali, would you accept a Hostess Twinkie from one who is neither boy, boy-friend, but just would like us to be friends?
Originally posted by Space Ranger:
Are you the new Office Administative Intern?
Definitely not.
Originally posted by legionadventureman:
Cali, would you accept a Hostess Twinkie from one who is neither boy, boy-friend, but just would like us to be friends?
Well, I never turn down a chance to eat something fattening and completely bad for me...
Originally posted by Caliente:
Originally posted by legionadventureman:
[b] Cali, would you accept a Hostess Twinkie from one who is neither boy, boy-friend, but just would like us to be friends?
i.e. Tamper Lad.
Originally posted by Tamper Lad:
Why aren't we catty?
The saying is: Well aren't we catty?
Don't twist my words Luna!!
And, you, Tamper, play nice with my friend.
Honestly... it's too much!!
<leaves in a fiery huff>
Originally posted by Tamper Lad:
Why aren't we catty?
Okay, I'll bite...
Why?
Well I can leave, too!
And at least when I get a fiance, I'm loyal to him, how can I be sure you won't turn your back on me?
Oooooh boy.... when did Actor Lad delegate you to speak on his behalf. Boy the men around here like to hide behind the skirts.
<Runs for cover>
PS. And I'm looking at you Quank
Tamper, I'm sorry, but your grievance against Abin Quank is rendered moot--I've seen Cali's hair and think it looks absolulely beautiful. I'm afraid there is no evidence to suggest otherwise. You're a lucky man my friend, you need to tell her more about her beauty when you get the chance.
LAM and everyone, I can say right now that Luna is not on the side of evil. Her motivations are her own, but she is surely doing what she thinks is right--and stopping a percieved murderer should be commended.
And anyone bothering Space Ranger: are you not aware that he has saved Legion World countless times? That he is one of the few to be around for the four or five major attacks on LW and defended it to the bitter end? He is a hero and a great man. Sure, he's a bit gruff sometimes, but that's part of his charm...you can always expect him to say what's on his mind at least, and not beat around the bush. My guess is you'll all come to respect and admire him one day and consider him friend.
<goes back to stack of work on desk>
I object to the very un-PC term "catty" being tossed about in this thread.
Originally posted by Luna:
And at least when I get a fiance, I'm loyal to him, how can I be sure you won't turn your back on me?
<comes back in a fiery huff>
My fiance, who is just perfect for me, also hasn't even noticed that I've been gallavanting about with another man. I'm a firecracker -- I need some excitement.
But that you'd think I'd turn my back on you... I stood up to Pagan Lass and Space Ranger for you. How could you even question me?? How could you think I'd ever be disloyal to you??
Friends are not the same as romantic interests. You should know that.
<grabs Tamper Lad and leaves in another fiery huff>
(P.S. Thanks Cobie. <3)
Originally posted by Tamper Lad:
Oooooh boy.... when did Actor Lad delegate you to speak on his behalf. Boy the men around here like to hide behind the skirts.
<Runs for cover>
Yeah, that's because they look good in skirts, unlike you, Dame Edna!
<as he's making his exit, tosses business card>
Luna, can you pass that along to your destructive sister. I think there could be some wonderful synergieeeeeesssssss......
Originally posted by Tamper Lad:
PS. And I'm looking at you Quank
Originally posted by Tamper Lad:
<as he's making his exit, tosses business card>
Luna, can you pass that along to your destructive sister. I think there could be some wonderful synergieeeeeesssssss......
Destructive, you make me out to be some force of evil, I'M FURY!!!
No not evil, I was just having trouble explaining myself to Luna and thought that a new strategy might be better.
Hello. I know I'm new on Legion World (what with this being my first day) but I believe I heard a vicious rumor about you having an opening here for some sort of job? I only ask of mild curiosity and a misplaced need to work wherever I go. Plus, Beth (Cali) told me that the head guy Cobie was really cool. What can I say, I'm a sucker for the cool ones.
Either way, thanks guys!!
Space Ranger I understand you're the process server 'round these parts.
I need you to serve Luna and Actor Lad with this Lawsuit for 100 tera-spacedollars, alleging that they conspired in Alienating Caliente's affections from me. I've been advised that this is a good course of action by Quislet's Law Firm... of Space. It seems Legion World's civil code seems to be based on some ancient juristiction known as Utah. Imagine that.
Toodles you can reach me at my Secure Undisclosed Location.
Welcome to the Security Office, Frio
There actually is an opening for new officers, and I'd be glad to see what you could do to help us. Things can get hectic around here, but I'm sure you'll get a 'handle' on things after some time in my office.
Why don't you tell me about yourself.
<pours Cosmopolitan>
Sweet! I love feeling important. And power positions, talk about appealing.
*takes seat*
Is that drink for me? Because I'd much rather a gin and tonic, if you're able.
Anyway, Cobalt Kid, I've heard several rumors about you and I just have to say... *leans closer* I really, really hope they're true.
I assure you...you'll have plenty of oppurtunity to find out
And a gin and tonic it is then...we'll let the gin just *kiss* the tonic--and I'll have one myself.
So, you're interested in protecting Legion World and the LMB?
Promises, promises. I did hear about your separation from Space Tart.
Such a shame.
*takes drink and offers a toast*
Here's to new beginnings.
As for my interests, I must admit, they're of a more selfish nature. And they're my own. Perhaps, if you're good, I'll share them with you... someday.
Something else else to look forward to
Don't worry too much about Space Tart...I think a little of it had to do with the fact that I had a second wedding with High Priestess Viviane, and am a practicing Bigamist. Or that I've gotten two other women pregnant while we were married. Or...you know what? Let's just leave it at that.
To new beginnings! <clinks glass> Here's lookin' at you, kid.
Right.
Time to start demon-proofing the buildings again.
I thought you were a Pigamist. Huh. *shrugs* Whatever. Same diff, right?
Casablanca quotes, huh? No need to lay it on so thick hon. Believe me, your reputation preceeds you. And I like what I've heard.
Casablanca quotes are all the rage in my office. Whether it's being laid on thick or not, it's just me being me too
. Glad you like what you've heard Frio, I'll be sure to ask around about you.
Originally posted by Outdoor Miner:
Right.
Time to start demon-proofing the buildings again.
Just doing my part to keep things interesting
Interesting, we like.
And you go ahead and ask Cobalt Kid. Just not Caliente. She's a bit of a truth stretcher. I wouldn't want you to hear any untruths.
<pulls out phone>
Hello, Occult Depot? This is Outdoor Miner from Legio....yes, we are in the market for some holy symbols and home-assembly warding gear, how did you know? Oh, of course. Yes, we'll be billing it to the Security Office as usual.
<looks at Cobie and Frio>
Can we get overnight shipping on that? Thanks.
(sneaks in, takes all the gold plated digital escargo forks that are beloved by the office)
If this doesn't get their attention, then I'll have to resort to throwing zebras at them.
hey! what are you doing with those...oh wait i'm not an officer of security,....carry on.
Luna, I'm afraid you'll having to do better than just a zebra. Cobie's paying way too much attention to Frio.
(grabs a Super Moby Dick of Space)
Maybe this'll help.
Originally posted by Invisible Brainiac:
Luna, I'm afraid you'll having to do better than just a zebra. Cobie's paying way too much attention to Frio.
(grabs a Super Moby Dick of Space)
Maybe this'll help.
(magically increases it's size and drops it on the Security Office, watches the Security Office become rubble)
It was IB's idea.
We better fix this.
They are going to be so made...at IB for giving me the Super Moby Dick of Space.
If I know Frio, she'll definitely... point and laugh if she's uninjured.
Hey! How'd you know Caliente?
No, really, can someone fix this? I really did want this job and I'm pretty sure it requires a building.
I'm not getting blamed for this!
(Drops Super Moby Dick of Space on Frio)
I'll take credit for that...
Got to go!
(takes off)
Luna!!
Not. Nice. That's my friend.
<cooks Super Moby Dick of Space>
Anyone want whale jerky...?
It's not like she's hurt, just shorter.
It was a joke, now run before they blame this on us.
i would but i think my legs are broken
Originally posted by disaster boy:
i would but i think my legs are broken
(picks up Disaster Boy)
Come on, they'll think you did it, too!
We interupt this thread with a broadcast from Tamper's Secure Unidisclosed Location.
The sky is green, a bright day flares.
We love Tamper and his icy stare.
'Cross the world, he'll save our lands
Huzzah Hurray,
Genius, by his mighty hands
Originally posted by Tamper Lad:
We interupt this thread with a broadcast from Tamper's Secure Unidisclosed Location.
The sky is green, a bright day flares.
We love Tamper and his icy stare.
'Cross the world, he'll save our lands
Huzzah Hurray,
Genius, by his mighty hands
TAMPER LAD DID IT, TAMPER LAD DESTROYED THE SECURITY OFFICE!
Bah! Crazy woman...
<Security Office fixes itself>
I think its been destroyed enough times that we've developd some sort of protocol here.
Now. Where's my forks?
Wow! That was close - did anybody miss me?
No, <looks around> I claim responsibibility. Er this was the first act of my new campaign
It has twin aims:
To get me a date for tomorrow night and
to get The Sky is Green adopted as LMB Anthem.
All Right!!! Anyone here to break things, act up or in any way get under my nerves just better get on out of here right now. I have a lot of friggin' paperwork to do.
Hmmm....I need a mission.
Perhaps I'll go infiltrate Mordru's Undead Army........
Originally posted by matlock:
All Right!!! Anyone here to break things, act up or in any way get under my nerves just better get on out of here right now. I have a lot of friggin' paperwork to do.
And you don't want to see him when he's angry.
I'm not crazy, I'm in love, of course I haven't been in love since Ancient Greece, but I'd know it anywhere.
(pets Cobalt's gold plated digital escargo fork)
Ahhh....
Hrun enters Luna's Presence.
Bows before her and approches.
Then steals another passionate kiss, removes all the gold plated digital escargo forks and leaves.
Arriving back at the Security Office he hands the forks back to Cobalt Kid and leaves saying nothing, but not before Matlock sees him.
'Kay. Let's just pretend I understood what's happening here.
*goes to stand next to Cobalt Kid with a butt smack for a greeting*
So, what now boss?
We let chaos ensue while you and I go to my office for some gin? And whatever else pops up?
Sounds like a plan! *smiles coyly* Lead the way my good man.
Right this way
<leads Frio to his office, pours two gin and tonics>
We'll just shut that door, just in case...
Good idea. We wouldn't want any of those prying eyes bothering us.
(I didn't just jinx us, did I?)
This is why the security aparatus of this place must be dismantled. It is nothing more than a harem for Cobalt Kid, to take the youth of this place and corrupt them.
Now then, <puts hand on shoulder>, what's the next thing you feel like doing here on Legion World?
<moves closer>
Cheers.
<clinks glasses>
Originally posted by Tamper Lad:
This is why the security aparatus of this place must be dismantled. It is nothing more than a harem for Cobalt Kid, to take the youth of this place and corrupt them.
Text Message to Tamper Lad reads: 'That kind of attitude isn't going to get me to support your song...'
Well, *puts hand below the belt* I have a few ideas.
Cheers, indeed.
*jumps Cobalt Kid*
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
Originally posted by Tamper Lad:
[b]This is why the security aparatus of this place must be dismantled. It is nothing more than a harem for Cobalt Kid, to take the youth of this place and corrupt them.
Second text message reads, "Stop being bitter, you old coot. Just 'cause you're not getting any anymore doesn't mean you have to ruin it for the rest of us!"
<rips Frio's clothes off>
<the rest cannot be accurately described in a public forum>
There really oughtta be a warning on the door by this point... :rolleyes:
<looks at package of condoms, unopened. grins at them>
*is equally aggressive ripping off Cobalt Kid's clothes*
*ditto on the privacy/inappropriate factor
*
Hey! We're definitely using condoms. No more children for you. I've heard all the stories...
<door stays shut for next 35 minutes. noises can be heard>
Originally posted by Frio:
Hey! We're definitely using condoms. No more children for you. I've heard all the stories...
Sure, why not? I figure I'd have to try one sooner or later...
<back to aggressive love-making>
35 minutes? Someone is optimistic...
Originally posted by Caliente:
35 minutes? Someone is optimistic... Text message to Caliente, "Shut up. Go away. Will never forgive you otherwise."
<pours two gin and tonics>
Just in case you've worked up a thirst...
<hands one to Frio, joins her>
He misspoke I do believe he meant 35 seconds.
I have to say I was a little off...it was only 29 minutes.
Not counting the clothes ripping of course...
Yes you are correct, by my chronometer it was 29 minutes. Of course I clocked the closed door room at 99.9999% of the speed of light for an approximate time dilation of 18x meaning you in the room experienced a total elapsed time in your frame of reference of 100 seconds (including the time to rip the clothes).
<Tamper checks the time beacon inside the room confirming his readings.>
I assure you, my friend, that if you check the little clock at the top of each post, you'll see an exact time line. And the Security Office has wards to fend off all attacks that are magical and technology related--by the LMBP Spectre no less, a force whose power far surpasses us all.
In the meantime, I was about to consider your proposal for the New LMB Theme Song. Did I hear you needed an ally? Because you're not winning one this way...
Whew and a good 29 minutes it was. (We definitely need a smoking icon.
)
So. When's round two? I don't think we're done pounding out the details of my employment.
Feh Time to go to SUDL to plan.
<singing>
I dreamed I saw Joe Hill last night
Alive as you and me
Says I you're 10 years dead
I never died says he,
I never died says he.
Cobalt Ki-id shot you Joe
they shot you Joe" says I.
"Takes more than guns to kill a man"
Says Joe "I didn't die"
Says Joe "I didn't die"
And standing there as big as life
and smiling with his eyes.
Says Joe "What they can never kill
went on to organize,
went on to organize"
From Tamper's ego up to Shakes,
in tesseract and mill,
where thinking-men defend their rights,
it's there you find Joe Hill,
it's there you find Joe Hill!
Originally posted by Frio:
Whew and a good 29 minutes it was. (We definitely need a smoking icon. )
So. When's round two? I don't think we're done pounding out the details of my employment.Ready when you are
<pulls Frio back in>
*is pulled back in*
Whoo! That's my kinda man! Thank God we didn't get dressed again...
Consarn it! I come in for once to catch up on paperwork and set up the new coffee maker finally and this is the kind of thing going on around here? Hmph. Now I got Hrun tearassing around again?
Cobie, I'm going to go, I don't know... Stake out Cramer's again or something.
COBALT!... MATLOCK!... SPACE RANGER!...
One of you better show your face RIGHT NOW!
I WANT TO KNOW HOW YOU COULD LET THIS HAPPEN AND WHAT YOU ARE DOING ABOUT IT!
AND, I WANT TO KNOW NOW!
Hello, Pagan Lass, may i get you a cup of Ambrosia or a potion dredged from the river Styx?
Originally posted by Pagan Lass:
[b]COBALT!... MATLOCK!... SPACE RANGER!...
One of you better show your face RIGHT NOW!
I WANT TO KNOW HOW YOU COULD LET THIS HAPPEN AND WHAT YOU ARE DOING ABOUT IT!
AND, I WANT TO KNOW NOW![/b]
Does this have anything to do with me, because as far as I know, I'm not getting any!
(stares at Cobalt Kid and Hrun)
Big jerks...hm nnn~mumble-mumble~
(take another glod plated digital escargo fork)
Ah, the only thing I have left to cherish!
Where's Cali, I need a girl to talk to and my sisters are away!
Ahhh Luna, aren't you upset that Cobie seems to enjoy all the benefits of this place. Just because he chooses to hire slu... I mean owns the means of production.
You guys should unionize, you and Ranger, IB, Matlock and the rest, even that trollop Frio. Here pass these around, <passes union cards> if 2/3 of you sign them, the union is certified. As my pledge
I'll MAKE COBIE SHARE if you certify.
Now I gotta go, I need to certify the bar and restaurant sector around here too. I'm improving working conditions here.
<Goes off singing>
Solidarity Forever
Solidarity Forever
Solidarity Forever
Because the union makes us strong.
We shall we shall overcome...
Originally posted by Luna:
Where's Cali, I need a girl to talk to and my sisters are away!
Someone rang... what's up Luna?
Originally posted by Tamper Lad:
even that trollop Frio.
Hey!! That's my friend you big jerk.
Hey the union
Originally posted by Caliente:
Originally posted by Tamper Lad:
[b]even that trollop Frio.
I meant trollop in the nicest sense of the word. It's not like the union wouldn't defend her rights too. If Frio disagrees with my assessment, I challenge her to call me on it. Now LAM said this hairbrush I found at the SUDL belongs to her. Compy confirmed it too, I've already taken the DNA for my breeding program.
Toodles, I've got to get back to unionize the LMB service sector to improve social conditions. I wonder if Troy and Babbette would sign cards...
<leaves singing>
Solidarity Forever...
Originally posted by Tamper Lad:
Hey the union Originally posted by Caliente:
[b]
Originally posted by Tamper Lad:
[b]even that trollop Frio.
Hey!! That's my friend you big jerk.
[/b]
*sniffs* Thanks Caliente. Can't believe you did anything with that jerk.
You want a challenge evil genius man, you got it! And gimme back my DNA! Or at least my hairbrush.
Originally posted by disaster boy:
smells like sex in here
*satisfied smile* I should hope so.
***ROAR***
<This time it is the Tiger God Avitar who grabs Frio and places her behind a security barricade as he awaits the arrival of Hrun...>
***Roar***
Hrun falls through the tesseract opening and lands on top of Frio
Hrun! Unhand that young lady!
Originally posted by Stoopid Cat:
<This time it is the Tiger God Avitar who grabs Frio and places her behind a security barricade as he awaits the arrival of Hrun...>
Manhandled again. I'm just lucky I guess...
Originally posted by Hrun the Barbarian:
Hrun falls through the tesseract opening and lands on top of Frio
...or, maybe not. Ow.
Originally posted by Pagan Lass:
Hrun! Unhand that young lady!
Yeah! Wait... no, yeah! Unhand me!
**Yowl**
Pagan, stay out of this... I have nothing to say to you...
**Yowl**
Hrun helps Frio to her feet and they stand together for a while until Frio realises just where Hruns hands are.
He smiles and kisses her then leaps back into battle, his shield held before him and his sword ready for the cat.
**Yowl**
You said you wanted to Talk to Stoopid Cat, Hrumf so why is that sword pointed at me...
***Yowl***
"thy claws are as sharp as they tongue cat, I will need to be sure I can trust you first"
"thy claws are as sharp as they tongue cat, I will need to be sure I can trust you first"
Originally posted by Stoopid Cat:
Pagan, stay out of this... I have nothing to say to you...
You offer my secrets for sale, but you have nothing to say to me?
Originally posted by Hrun the Barbarian:
"thy claws are as sharp as they tongue cat, I will need to be sure I can trust you first"
Trust Him?????
How could anyone ever trust him again???
Originally posted by Hrun the Barbarian:
Hrun helps Frio to her feet and they stand together for a while until Frio realises just where Hruns hands are.
He smiles and kisses her then leaps back into battle, his shield held before him and his sword ready for the cat.
*makes a face* Bleh. Barbarians taste like meat. Gross. *sigh* Cobalt Kid! Where are you? I'm seriously reconsidering asking you for a job here...
Hrun eyes this new commer with suspicion.
"see foul cat thou hast led me into a trap"
Throwing an axe at the wall of the security office Hrun escpaes into the corridors of the security office. Throwing behind him a small grenade of catnip which hits SC on the tail
***YOWLLLLLL****
CATNIP!!!!!
****YYYYOWLLLL****
Running through the empty halls of the security office Hrun knocks over and smashes the coffe pot and pretzle maker.
*Repairs both coffee pot and petzel maker*
May i have you, dude?
Originally posted by Frio:
Originally posted by Hrun the Barbarian:
[b] Hrun helps Frio to her feet and they stand together for a while until Frio realises just where Hruns hands are.
He smiles and kisses her then leaps back into battle, his shield held before him and his sword ready for the cat.
(pulls out wire)
YOU DIE NOW!!!
(wraps wire around her neck)
I WILL DESTROY WHAT I CREATE YOU FRIGID FLOOZY!
luna!....you can't just go around killing every floozy on legion world!
Originally posted by disaster boy:
luna!....you can't just go around killing every floozy on legion world!
(Looks at Disaster Boy with so much anger that he wets himself in utter fear)
STAY OUT OF IT!
(continues choking Frio)
Originally posted by Luna:
Looks at Disaster Boy with so much anger that he wets himself in utter fear)[/QB]
um that's a different kind of wet spot and its unrelated to you, or frio.
put the popsicle down. or....ill tell mom.
how did you get that wet spot DB?
Originally posted by disaster boy:
Originally posted by Luna:
Looks at Disaster Boy with so much anger that he wets himself in utter fear)
put the popsicle down. or....ill tell mom.[/QB](freezes and teleports Disaster Boy)
What is she going to do, kill
you?
(continues choking)
Originally posted by Frio:
*makes a face* Bleh. Barbarians taste like meat. Gross. *sigh* Cobalt Kid! Where are you? I'm seriously reconsidering asking you for a job here...
Gasp! Say it ain't so! The Security Office needs more talented, dedicated, lovely, intelligent, gorgeous, hardworking, sexy officers!
Cobie, get out here!
<bursts in>
LUNA!!!! What are you doing?!?!?! Put my friend down now!!
Originally posted by Invisible Brainiac:
Originally posted by Frio:
*makes a face* Bleh. Barbarians taste like meat. Gross. *sigh* Cobalt Kid! Where are you? I'm seriously reconsidering asking you for a job here...
Cobie, get out here!You can add dead to the list if you give me a few more minutes.
(continues choking Frio)
Originally posted by Luna:
(freezes and teleports Disaster Boy)
What is she going to do, kill you?
(continues choking) [/QB]
(db walks through the door brushing off chicken feathers and hay)
not funny, (throws throwing knife ..slicing wire in 3 pieces, frio drops out of luna hands)
your welcome frio.
Originally posted by Caliente:
<bursts in>
LUNA!!!! What are you doing?!?!?! Put my friend down now!!
Hm. Three beautiful, powerful, intelligent women are about to fight each other, possibly to the death.
The loss of any one would be a great blow to Legion World. The loss of all three could probably destroy it.
What to do?
Oh, wait! Didn't Reboot invent some sort of ray that calms people down?
(goes off into the Security Office storage room to find it)
(walks after IB, dragging Frio with her, touches IB on the shoulder)
Don't even think about it!
Eep!
Um... (IB sweats frantically, thinking of options)
Originally posted by Invisible Brainiac:
Eep!
Um... (IB sweats frantically, thinking of options)
(mentally "freezes" his mind)
DIE HUSSY!
(Frio starts to turn purple)
STOP IT LUNA!!
<socks her with fiery fists and pulls Frio behind her>
She didn't even do anything with that Hrun person!! He was all... grabby!! Leave her be!!
(IB stands unmoving in the middle of the Security Office)
LAM walks into the office
"May I help you?"
(releases IB from her control)
Err...
I can only be pushed so far.
Oh, Cali and Slu...Frio, I'm just so lonely, I want to be loved.
<gently pats Frio on the back>
Okay, now I'm just confused. You think that Barbarian guy is 'the one' or...?
And I love you Luna!! Even if you did try to kill Frio...
I want that special man, you know, the one you come home to and love every night, and as sad as it is, my options were Cobalt and the barbarian.
Originally posted by Caliente:
And I love you Luna!! Even if you did try to kill Frio...
I said I want a man, lesbo.
I am not a lesbian. Please. I'm marrying Actor Lad. ^_^ You're just jealous.
Anyway, what about IB? He seems a good sort... and would probably forgive the whole freezing thing.
And we all know Tamper Lad's available once more...
If evil's more your style. I mean, at least he has ambition, right?
Besides, who said Cobalt Kid wasn't available anymore...? So he had sex with Frio, so what? He married someone else (or tried to) while he already had a wife... that seems about part for the course with him.
Originally posted by Caliente:
I am not a lesbian. Please. I'm marrying Actor Lad. ^_^ You're just jealous.
Anyway, what about IB? He seems a good sort... and would probably forgive the whole freezing thing.
And we all know Tamper Lad's available once more... If evil's more your style. I mean, at least he has ambition, right?
Besides, who said Cobalt Kid wasn't available anymore...? So he had sex with Frio, so what? He married someone else (or tried to) while he already had a wife... that seems about part for the course with him.I can't love any of those people, one's young, one's walking olive loaf, the other one does the humpy-bumby too much (with other women).
Men just don't have value anymore, where's my knight in shining armor?
*snerk* Olive loaf...
Ahem. I dunno where your knight is. Hell, I don't even know how I found mine. Perhaps you're not looking in the right places...?
*a disgruntled Frio still gasps for air*
I hate you all. And tell Cobalt Kid, I quit.
*iceslides out*
Originally posted by Frio:
*a disgruntled Frio still gasps for air*
I hate you all. And tell Cobalt Kid, I quit.
*iceslides out*
I created a brat, I knew I put too much pepper in the mix.
Originally posted by Caliente:
*snerk* Olive loaf...
Ahem. I dunno where your knight is. Hell, I don't even know how I found mine. Perhaps you're not looking in the right places...?
You mean I shouldn't look here.
I leave Legion World for one evening and the office of security experiences an extreme incident of workplace violence.
I knew it, such a toxic environment. I did try to warn ice slu..,er I mean Frio in my own obtuse way. Hmm... she sure looked like she could use some comfort. I wonder if she could be the pimento to my olive.
<Flies off looking for Frio>
Originally posted by Luna:
Originally posted by Frio:
[b]*a disgruntled Frio still gasps for air*
I hate you all. And tell Cobalt Kid, I quit.
*iceslides out*
Originally posted by Caliente:
*snerk* Olive loaf...
Ahem. I dunno where your knight is. Hell, I don't even know how I found mine. Perhaps you're not looking in the right places...?
I like how you all ignored after i said "Can i help you"....whips out straight-jacket irradiated with mithril and binds Luna, ready to cart her off to the psyche ward at Quarantine.
Hey, I'm not THAT young!
It's okay, LAM, give Luna some time. She was probably just preoccupied.
No, I think the MPD Queen probably needs some time in a psyche ward. If she keeps her present rate of ID-switching up, we'll all end up living in the House of R or somethin'
What in the name the My first demon child?
I'm out looking for Vee, helping Quis deal with his new powers, trying to ensure Pagan doesn't kill Stoopid Cat, working my butt off at the constitutional convention, and I come back to find this another huge catfight? Everyone
settle down!!!Luna, what are you doing? I know you Avalonians have fire in your blood, but no more killing people! We need you out working pro-actively! There's plenty of able bodied mates for you on Legion World--just stay away from that Red Bee character (don't need another Quis/Royal Inquisitor on our hands).
Frio, don't quit! You've only just come in and given this place a dose of fresh air. And you're sexy enough to work side by side with the legendary Cobalt Kid many more times I hope
IB, good to know you're here. I can only imagine the damage if Tamper wasn't. LAM, thanks for fixing up the broken stuff. Cali, ever consider a job in security?
Now I've got Stoopid Cat and Hrun teaming up around LW. I'm sure
that doesn't spell trouble...
And 'Boot--House of R
Let's hope not...
Originally posted by disaster boy:
smells like sex in here
(Original Post destroyed by an alien invasion of Abin's computer...)
WE, THE MORALITY LEAGUE OF QWARD DEMAND THAT ALL EMOTICONS AND/OR SMILIES BE PROPERLY CLOTHED AT ALL TIMES...
TO ENSURE THAT OUR DEMANDS ARE MET, WE HAVE TAKEN ABIN QUANK HOSTAGE. HE WILL BE RETURNED TO LEGION WORLD WHEN ALL EMOTICONS AND/OR SMILIES (except Sneckie) ARE DRESSED IN PROPER VICTORIAN ERA CLOTHING AND ALL FEMALE EMOTICONS AND/OR SMILIES ARE WEARING SUNBONNETS.
YOU MAY NOW RETURN TO YOUR NORMAL POSTING...
<flying by, still looking for a little pimento for his olive loaf>
Cobalt Kid really? Sororicide in the Office of Security?
And now Abin has been taken prisoner. Good. Great. Grand! This week can't get any better!
We're down to about five LMBers that aren't fighting each other, evil, missing or have powers that are screwed up.
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
And now Abin has been taken prisoner. Good. Great. Grand!
Does this actually mean that your statue will remain intact for over a week
(gets out of straight jacket)
LAM, if you can find a man worth having an eternity with then you would be more than helpful!
CAAAALLLLLLLLIIIII!!!
That Cobalt is the biggest, insensitive clod I have ever seen, if I had the rights I'd turn him into some cheap piece of jewelry and sell him at swap meet to some guy named Cletus!.
But Luna, I just want us to work
togetherWhy don't we fly along the skyline and relax a little...
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
But Luna, I just want us to work together
Why don't we fly along the skyline and relax a little...Stop patronizing me!!!
Take a look into your future!!!
The Future of Cobalt!
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
Cali, ever consider a job in security?
Let's go with a no on that one.
Originally posted by Luna:
CAAAALLLLLLLLIIIII!!!
You rang? What have these... boys done this time...?
Also, your future's pretty bleak there Cobie. Might wanna work on that one...
Cobie doesn't need to worry about his future. I'm keeping an eye on that for him
Security for LMB and LW, Feh. Cobalt Kid can't even deliver security to his own employees inside their headquarters.
Ex-employees, thank you very much.
Cobalt Kid, I'm here to pick up some sort of compensation.
And unless you'd rather a lawsuit on your hands that would most certainly result in you working for me, I suggest you pay up.
Now.
Originally posted by Frio:
*a disgruntled Frio still gasps for air*
I hate you all. And tell Cobalt Kid, I quit.
*iceslides out*
i tried to save you....
stupid hooch
Frio, I think you have a very strong case. Are you alright, wow, those are some nasty contusions on yor neck. I did warn you about this den of iniquity, didn't I Frio?
I'd pay the woman Kid. You have no case.
i bet she gets what's coming to her.
Be nice to the lady, you weren't almost murdered by a co-worker. Although reading your case log The Office of Security appears to be worse that the United States Postal Service when it comes to workplace violence.
thats one of the many reasons i do not work here, did you see i had my legs broken a few pages ago?, also the big brother attitude of the office of security and several other of their policies violate pretty much all of my civil liberties.
Originally posted by disaster boy:
i tried to save you....
stupid hooch
I am not a hooch! Where are these lies coming from LUNA?
And, apologies Disaster Boy. You must realize that I was suffering from a severe lack of airflow when I made such statements.
Originally posted by Tamper Lad:
Frio, I think you have a very strong case. Are you alright, wow, those are some nasty contusions on yor neck. I did warn you about this den of iniquity, didn't I Frio?
I'd pay the woman Kid. You have no case.
I agree. Payment would be most appreciated. And, yes, you did warn me Tamper Lad. But what can I say? I like to live dangerously.
Just not so dangerously that I'm strangled by priestesses over nothing but a misunderstanding.
Originally posted by disaster boy:
i bet she gets what's coming to her.
And what's that? I didn't
do anything! Well, I mean, I did something but nothing that should've offended anyone. It's not my fault the barbarian groped me!
Originally posted by Tamper Lad:
Be nice to the lady, you weren't almost murdered by a co-worker.
Thank you Tamper Lad. Perhaps I was wrong about you...
sorry frio just grumpy from taking on my (apparently much more powerful) half sister after she knocked the office of security down on me.
Oh and Frio about your signature, I ask you if you see it now in light of recent events.
If you don't love yourself, who else will?
i love myself all the time....
Originally posted by disaster boy:
sorry frio just grumpy from taking on my (apparently much more powerful) half sister after she knocked the office of security down on me.
Don't worry, I don't blame you. I blame her. She's hurt us both. I'm telling you, we should sue her for her actions!
Originally posted by Tamper Lad:
Oh and Frio about your signature, I ask you if you see it now in light of recent events.
If you don't love yourself, who else will?
Riiiight. Sounds like someone's still smarting from being dumped by Caliente.
Originally posted by disaster boy:
i love myself all the time....
Such a shame you bat for the other team. Otherwise, well, I could love you for a little bit too.
Well certainly no one in the OoS was able to help you last night woman.
I would have, but I was off-world at a celebration in my honour.
I admit that I was stinging for a day or so, but now I'm back to full bore eeeeevvvilllll.
Well, that's good, I suppose Tamper Lad. The "eeeeevvvilllll" needs love too.
Incidently, you haven't been drinking, have you? Just curious...
No, I haven't been drinking. In reflection on becoming a year older. I'm becoming a kinder, gentler evil genius to bring social justice to the workplaces of the MMB.
I'm starting with this cesspool known as the Office of Security.
Social justice? Isn't that the opposite of evil?
I'm just saying.
My means are often evil encompassing the genius, but my ends have always been noble. If only a little tainted by grandiose self-image.
Originally posted by Tamper Lad:
I'm starting with this cesspool known as the Office of Security.
For a relative newbie, you catch on quick
.
reboot. tamper. i think there are enough of us that have issues with the office of security to start a watch dog organization.
What am I? Chopped liver?
Of course not, Frio. I wouldn't join them anyways.
My agenda is my own. Alliances only work when everyone contributes something that's lacking in the other parties.
im not sure your desire for vengance would help our cause...
but another hand or two would be welcome, wherever you choose to use them.
Originally posted by Tamper Lad:
Of course not, Frio. I wouldn't join them anyways.
My agenda is my own. Alliances only work when everyone contributes something that's lacking in the other parties.
ive got serveral things you're lacking buddy.
Are you insinuating, I insinuated something?
Ooh. What have you got Disaster Boy?
And you didn't mean my desire for vengeance, did you? Because I don't desire vengeance. Only compensation for my pains.
"Are you insinuating, I insinuated something?" Tamper Lad
who's insinuating now?
Originally posted by Frio:
Ooh. What have you got Disaster Boy?
And you didn't mean my desire for vengeance, did you? Because I don't desire vengeance. Only compensation for my pains. i'd love to show you frio...
Sentients,
If you have business with the Security Office, please either take a number, or if there is an emergency, tell me the problem now...
Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Hmmm... The girl is cute, but a little disheveled...)
Originally posted by Frio:
Ooh. What have you got Disaster Boy?
And you didn't mean my desire for vengeance, did you? Because I don't desire vengeance. Only compensation for my pains. i'd love to show you frio...
Originally posted by disaster boy:
i'd love to show you frio...
Just name the time and the place.
right this way
let's see what we can do about those pains.
*follows Disaster Boy*
Mmm lets.
i hope your shedules free this could take some time.
Since quitting my job, I have had nothing but free time one my hands. I'm ready for some action. (Whatever that may be.)
lets get to it then.......i think i have all the necessary equipment in my room. walk fast.
Okay by me. I believe you had something to show me?
yes my priceless collection of comic books.
Sweet!
You wouldn't happen to have any Green Lantern, would you? I may not know much about the DCU but Kyle's one of my favorites. Oh, and Green Arrow! I love Conner too.
If ever there was a better matched couple of gays- guys! Better matched couple of guys, I challenge you to find them! Heh. Freudian slip.
do i. all that and more.
i said walk fast! (db skips down the hall)
*skips after Disaster Boy*
I'm comin', I'm comin'. Darn these healed boots. Sexy but oh-so-impractical.
mmmmm heeled boots
<stares at frio's posterior>
<slaps TL>
Pig!!
<follows Frio and DB>
Hey, wait up!! You wouldn't happen to have any Flash comics in that collection, would you...?
ahhh the girls all want my candy...i mean comics.
tamper step on it.
mmm Comics.... er Girlssssss
<increases to double quick tempo>
<ignores TL>
Go DB!! *cheers*
I'm not sure whether to be flattered or just disgusted.
Guess I'll settle for a little of both.
<snaps out of it>
Er yes, you're both quite interesting.
fools. what is going on here? disaster boy i will have a word with you...
(drags db off by his ear)
<laughs at TL>
Indeed.
<watches DB be dragged off>
But... Flash...?
<dies a little inside>
(pauses...spits at tamper lad...and continues dragging db away)
(grumbling)
the past is full of miscreants and misfits.
Hey! He was gonna share in the gay of the green! Nooo!
*ices up the floor in a valient effort to stop the king*
(transmutes the ice back to regular air...and the air around frio into inertron, dosn't blink and continues dragging a kicking db away)
the audactity.
<Pulls out Britishizer, zaps DB's ear turning it into a fillet of Dover sole. DB loses ear as it flakes away in a pile of fishy goodness Charges placing himself between DB, now without ear, and CK>
Drop him villain.
ow!!! please do NOT help me anymore Tamper!!! jeeez...that was my good side.
it's ok guys he's not a villain exactly....i can't explain now but please just don't get involved.
it was nice working with you all.
(db kneels) please release my friend frio and i will go with you your highness.
LAM appears in a dazzling show of fireworks.
Would someone mind explaining what's going on here????
<zaps inertron encasing Frio with Britishizer turning it into oxtail stew, freeing Frio>
Come on Frio
Sentient, I suggest you unhand Disaster Boy...
Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(And DB, Get up off your knees.)
very well, let's go,
(rolls eyes at l.a.m.) i suppose this is another one of your moronic allies.
Hey I already turned the inertron to oxtail stew.
<Opens fire with Britishizer...
(activates a switch on his belt opening a portal)
hurry through disaster of a boy.
ahhhhh Space Ranger. you've always been troublesome. please do get in my way.
Frio!!
<hugs her friend with one arm and sends plasma toward the king with the other>
Jerk!!
*gasps for air*
Okay, that's the second time in as many days. This office is officially the worst place for security ever. Cobalt Kid, you are definitely looking at a lawsuit!
Originally posted by Cosmopolitan King:
(activates a switch on his belt opening a portal)
hurry through disaster of a boy.
ahhhhh Space Ranger. you've always been troublesome. please do get in my way.
Well Sentient, Your wish is my command...
(stands in front of portal)
Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(This should be a good spot...)
(db looks back at friends)
enough, i said i would go with you. let's just go.
(Cosmopolitian King shooves db through the portal)
Originally posted by Tamper Lad:
You OK, chilly?
Define okay. And don't call me chilly.
in good health I guess? What was that all about? DB seemed to know him.
Hope he doesn't miss this ear. It'd be good with a creamy sauce with dillweed.
<Picks up Dover sole from ground.>
(Grabs DB and sets him off to one side of the portal)
Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Waiting... Waiting...)
Nooo!
JEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAN!
Oh. Wait. Wrong fandom.
too slow as usual Ranger, the boy is mine. now that he's through i have all of time to deal with you. (hands begin to glow)
Originally posted by disaster boy:
(db looks back at friends)
enough, i said i would go with you. let's just go.
(Cosmopolitian King shooves db through the portal)
(Grabs DB and sets him off to one side of the portal)
Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Waiting... Waiting...)
Space Fool. i strongly suggest you let the boy through that portal. you have no idea what you are doing.
<takes cover, behind Ranger. Pulls girls behind too>
Originally posted by Cosmopolitan King:
too slow as usual Ranger, the boy is mine. now that he's through i have all of time to deal with you. (hands begin to glow)
Wraps his cape around CK's hands and freezes cape with Super Breath
Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Waiting... Waiting...)
*is grabbed*
Hey! Watch those hands! Last time I was groped, I got strangled. The third time would not be the charm.
these are the cowards you left the future for disastrous one? see how they cower.
fine Ranger, you always were simple minded.
(eyes glow...encasing ranger in inertron, transmutes frozen bonds to air)
(gestures at tamper lad..changing the color of his uniform to yellow.)
now boy time to go
(pushes button on his belt points at db, db vanishes)
Ooh, just like old times, huh TL?
Kidding, I kid. But, seriously, you'd think the Security Office would have more, y'know, security.
Uses super-breath and super speed to partially escape encapsulation, with his free hand he grabs for CK's belt, missing by a fraction but manages to grab what appears to be a battery off of the belt
Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Waiting... Waiting...)
You'd think so, everything seems to start here doesn't it.
Well I guess it's sort of like my place is secure and undisclosed. *sigh*
What'd you do with DB, fiend?
give me back my battery blunder ranger. disaster boy is already gone.
ahhh brainiac -5 asks a question, i sent him home child.
<Fires weapon at belt turning it into a double serving of mashed turnips>
LAM enters and grows to giant-size.....
IGNORE ME AT YOUR PERIL, LEGION WORLDERS!!!! WHAT IS GOING ON HERE??????
Sentient, I'll trade you the battery for DB.
Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Or you can TRY to take it from me...)
egad! if i stay here any longer the time stream will be damaged further.
(transmutes tamper lad's gun to poop)
haahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
now that's funny.
Eugh. This battle is getting grosser and grosser.
<Shoots fire at King/turnips>
Give us our friend back!!
Originally posted by Frio:
*is grabbed*
Hey! Watch those hands! Last time I was groped, I got strangled. The third time would not be the charm.
Sorry Chilly, I'll be gentle.
don't worry l.a.m.e. one you will get your fair share. (transmutes air around lam's face to barbed wire)
Space Fool i will trade you your future and a non cataclysmic timestream for my battery.
Originally posted by legionadventureman:
LAM enters and grows to giant-size.....
IGNORE ME AT YOUR PERIL, LEGION WORLDERS!!!! WHAT IS GOING ON HERE??????
Just a normal day at the Security Office, Sentient.
Please take a number and I'll be with you in a moment...
Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(I'm just a little busy at the moment!)
And use it for what CK, to butter your turnips?
HELLO???? A GIANT IS STANDING OVER YOU AND ALL YOU CAN SAY IS "SORRY, CHILLY - I'LL BE GENTLE"????
Originally posted by Cosmopolitan King:
Space Fool i will trade you your future and a non cataclysmic timestream for my battery.
Sorry Cosmo Boy, I'll need a better explination than that...
Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(I'm slooow, remember, enlighten me...)
<zaps Tamper Lad on the keister with a lightning bolt>
Originally posted by Tamper Lad:
Sorry Chilly, I'll be gentle.
Well, I'd certainly hope not. But, seriously, DON'T CALL ME CHILLY!
*accidently covers the whole room in a layer of ice and snow*
...oops. My bad.
Well my weapon was turned to poop and CosKing seems to be taking DB back to the future to prevent damage to the timestream.
I'm pretty much down to nothing unless you want me to use my inspirational speech power.
(puts out flames with a transmutation of air to sand over them)
arrrrrrghhhhh. the neanderthalls of this time are so frustrating! nothing is what it seems except now i am trapped in your past, for the moment and that juvenile delinquent is loose in the future.
<gropes, chilly some more>
<Rallies, strides out chest-out and starts>
Friends, we are in the midst of a great cataclysmic battle...
Originally posted by Tamper Lad:
I'm pretty much down to nothing unless you want me to use my inspirational speech power.
Brrr...
N-no. Trust me. Noooobody w-wants that TL.
(Jeez, I just had to be friends with the chick who freezes stuff, didn't I?)
Well, seeing as you just got zapped on the bum with a lightning bolt, you're gonna have to do your speech making sitting down, Tamper Lad
Originally posted by Tamper Lad:
<gropes, chilly some more>
<Rallies, strides out chest-out and starts>
Friends, we are in the midst of a great cataclysmic battle...
no not that....anything but that...
runs screaming down the hall.
Originally posted by Cosmopolitan King:
(puts out flames with a transmutation of air to sand over them)
arrrrrrghhhhh. the neanderthalls of this time are so frustrating! nothing is what it seems except now i am trapped in your past, for the moment and that juvenile delinquent is loose in the future.
And who the hell are you, buster?
... should we now turn our back on our friends
Originally posted by Cosmopolitan King:
(puts out flames with a transmutation of air to sand over them)
arrrrrrghhhhh. the neanderthalls of this time are so frustrating! nothing is what it seems except now i am trapped in your past, for the moment and that juvenile delinquent is loose in the future.
Sentient, I'm waiting on an explaination for what happened here tonite...
And since you can't slip off into the time stream while I have this (hold up battery) I suggest you start talking...
Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Waiting... Waiting...)
...and our obligations that we took when we swore to defend Legion World from menaces, great and small...
Drops to knees, covers ears...
Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(No... Dear God NO... Anything but that!)
<cries>
Make it stop! Make. It. Stop!
... so so many years ago...
SURRENDER NOW VILLAIN, AND EXPLAIN YOURSELF....
... I believe Herotodus said of the Spartan defense of Thermopoli...
Tamper... YOU IDIOT!! STOP!
Cosmopolitan King escaped while you incapacitated the rest of us with your Boring speech-making power...
Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Darn, my ears will never be ths same...)
Whose side were you on anyway?? Honestly...
That was very... evil of you.
(cosmos king returns a little shakiy on his feet and with lines around his eyes)
very well i suppose i must deal with you if i want to return to my timeline...you people are exasperating, just don't let him (points at tamper lad) make a speech.
(takes off gloves)
disaster boy is one of the few legionaires left in our time. of the surviving legion there is only Saturnyn Queen, Shadowed Woman, myself, the Lightning and Thunder Lords, and a few others. 98% of the world is a flaming chaos. we have managed to seal the remaining behind domes of inertron and have stabilized the civilization with martial law...disaster boy does not always see eye to eye with the rest of us regarding our methods, he is young, and does not understand that changing the past does not mean changing the future. that is why he stole an antique time machine and journeyed here...to change the future. i have just rectified that error in the time stream but....now it appears you have me at a draw.
now HAND over that battery. it will take me weeks to fashion another control device as it is.
MmmmHmmm... Sentient, I think you need to have a talk with Cobalt Kid and the Founders before we make any decisions.
Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(And I'll just lock the battery up in my Cruiser's Safe until Saturn Girl verifies what you've been saying...)
Originally posted by Caliente:
Whose side were you on anyway?? Honestly... That was very... evil of you.Well it's been a while since i've used that power. It's supposed to be inspiring. (How'd you think I bedded you in the first place) Well at least we got him to talk.
"Bedded me"? Oh but the romance lives on. :rolleyes:
Wait. Wait. Hold the phones. DB's from the future...? Whoa...
Don't give him the battery Ranger! Disaster Boy's our friend, even if he is from a horrendous doomsday future!
Originally posted by Space Ranger:
MmmmHmmm... Sentient, I think you need to have a talk with Cobalt Kid and the Founders before we make any decisions.
Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(And I'll just lock the battery up in my Cruiser's Safe until Saturn Girl verifies what you've been saying...)
you were a lump of coal in the future as well. until i killed you! there how's that for ruining the time stream.
(Cosmos King walks briskly out the Office of Security, shoes clicking evenly on the floor)
no wonder the future is a shambles. now...were can i get an ipod, a mark 3006 coffe maker, a fragamitzpietzal, and a rubber band around here?
Can i get a word in edgewise?
Why am i being ignored here?????
Well it looks like CosKing's gonna be here for a while. Let me try to analyse the energy signature for signs of DB.
Sorry LAM, you showed up in the heat of battle. It was difficult to co-ordinate the entry of additional assets into the battle.
Originally posted by Cosmopolitan King:
Originally posted by Space Ranger:
[b] MmmmHmmm... Sentient, I think you need to have a talk with Cobalt Kid and the Founders before we make any decisions.
Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(And I'll just lock the battery up in my Cruiser's Safe until Saturn Girl verifies what you've been saying...)
(Cosmos King walks briskly out the Office of Security, shoes clicking evenly on the floor)
no wonder the future is a shambles. [/b]Now that last statement sounded familiar...
Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Almost like... Hmmm... Where is she anyway?)
Originally posted by Tamper Lad:
Well it looks like CosKing's gonna be here for a while. Let me try to analyse the energy signature for signs of DB.
Sorry LAM, you showed up in the heat of battle. It was difficult to co-ordinate the entry of additional assets into the battle.
I was a freakin' giant - how could anybody NOT notice me???
I was looking the other way?
Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Seriously, I was...)
C'mon Caliente, let's go to Rockhoppers for that Girl's Night. Staying here seems like a dangerous idea.
Everyone out!
<ushers everyone into Security Office courtyard in the middle of the square>
Space Ranger, thank the stars you're around...you're the only one with even the slightest bit of sense. Cesspool that's the Office of Security...you people are all insane and the reason there is a cesspool to begin with! How can anyone work on a variety of major cases, when I have to keep sending the understaffed janitorial staff (sans their leader) to clean up after you!
And Frio, you're not getting a dime, hon! Quislet, Esq. is my personal lawyer and the Security Office isn't paying you anything. There's a disclaimer for even enterting it--you've put yourself at risk! Jeepers! From an intense, hot night to lawyers and jilted lovers--and I didn't even witness the reasons why...
You all need to get it through your heads that the Security Officers are relatively invulnerable in the confines of the Security Office. The five or six of you have no chance of beating Space Ranger. I think I'll popcorn and watch him mop this little party up.
(I need to get back to my old job of demoralizing young women for LMB spy secrets...)
goodnite girls
Abusive sod of man that Kid who runs this office is, isn't he?
Well I'm off to redecorate the SUDL.
Originally posted by Frio:
Don't give him the battery Ranger! Disaster Boy's our friend, even if he is from a horrendous doomsday future!
She's right Ranger. Ester's law states that his future is not ours, but only one of a few possiblities that could be ours. Even if it threatens to destroy his future, we don't have to worry, because entropy and timestream malfunctions correct themselves in a non-specific way that allows life to continue on unhindered, despite miner (and even major) changes to those lives. I've dealt with alternate timelines before--just run with it.
Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.
Who said we were fighting Space Ranger?? We were trying to save Disaster Boy from the Cosmopolitan King guy!!
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
Everyone out!
<ushers everyone into Security Office courtyard in the middle of the square>
Space Ranger, thank the stars you're around...you're the only one with even the slightest bit of sense. Cesspool that's the Office of Security...you people are all insane and the reason there is a cesspool to begin with! How can anyone work on a variety of major cases, when I have to keep sending the understaffed janitorial staff (sans their leader) to clean up after you!
And Frio, you're not getting a dime, hon! Quislet, Esq. is my personal lawyer and the Security Office isn't paying you anything. There's a disclaimer for even enterting it--you've put yourself at risk! Jeepers! From an intense, hot night to lawyers and jilted lovers--and I didn't even witness the reasons why...
You all need to get it through your heads that the Security Officers are relatively invulnerable in the confines of the Security Office. The five or six of you have no chance of beating Space Ranger. I think I'll popcorn and watch him mop this little party up.
(I need to get back to my old job of demoralizing young women for LMB spy secrets...)
Ummm... Cobie lets go into your office and verify that the security cameras recorded everything...
Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(And I'll get you some breath mints and you can put your pants on and...)
Ranger, I don't know what's going on...I've been out hunting for Vee all night--had a battle with a couple of Khund pirate ships...
I think we need to hire more interns to keep the hallways clear...I know this nice little girl named Tulla Mor'dooh, I think you'd like her...
<sees wreckage from recent battle>
Yeah, I guess I should watch those tapes.
Hey guys don't eat that Dover sole fillet.
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
Everyone out!
<ushers everyone into Security Office courtyard in the middle of the square>
Watch those hands Cobalt Kid. I will not be air deprived again because of you!
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
And Frio, you're not getting a dime, hon! Quislet, Esq. is my personal lawyer and the Security Office isn't paying you anything. There's a disclaimer for even enterting it--you've put yourself at risk! Jeepers! From an intense, hot night to lawyers and jilted lovers--and I didn't even witness the reasons why...
What do you mean I don't get a dime!?! It's YOUR FAULT that LUNA went CRAZY and tried to KILL me!!!!! All I wanted was a job. To help people. Etc.
Instead, I got Barbarians dropped on and groping me, a boss with no sense of morality (actually, that I liked) and suffocated twice in as many days! And it's at least partially your fault! I want some kind of compensation and I WANT IT NOW!!!!
Chilly, relax I recommend getting a lawyer. He'll use this outburst against you, kid. Now go have fun at Rockhoppers.
Later.
Uh... yeah, I'll meet you at Rokkhopper's Frio. Peace out.
<flies far, far away from the crazy>
Originally posted by Tamper Lad:
Hey guys don't eat that Dover sole fillet.
Sentient, perhaps you should take possession of that... After all when we get DB back you're going to have to repair that damage.
Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Or Else...)
How is it my fault? I have no idea why Luna is acting crazy--hell, for all I know, she actually is crazy to begin with! I thought she wanted a man or something...why'd she attack you?
And I doubt there's a place on LW that you'd be safe from Hrun. He pretty much goes where he pleases.
And if you're looking for some sort of compensation, anything you have in mind besides money or property?
<puts hand on shoulder gently>
No sense of morality when it comes to casual sexual relationships, well then yes. But I do have a strong sense of what's right--it's what I've dedicated my life to.
So, I'm a cad and a rogue. I know. But there's plenty of ways to settle this
Originally posted by Tamper Lad:
Chilly, relax I recommend getting a lawyer. He'll use this outburst against you, kid. Now go have fun at Rockhoppers.
DON'T CALL ME CHILLY!!!!!!
*drops a new layer of snow and ice on everything*
I will not be calm! You people are enough to drive a woman to the dark side! Gah!
<Pushes CK's hand off Frio. Hands him Dover sole>
Here take this Cobie.
Go to Rockhoppers' Frio have fun.
I'll handle this, your staying here impairs your chances of getting a fair settlement.
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
How is it my fault? I have no idea why Luna is acting crazy--hell, for all I know, she actually is crazy to begin with! I thought she wanted a man or something...why'd she attack you?
And I doubt there's a place on LW that you'd be safe from Hrun. He pretty much goes where he pleases.
And if you're looking for some sort of compensation, anything you have in mind besides money or property?
<puts hand on shoulder gently>
No sense of morality when it comes to casual sexual relationships, well then yes. But I do have a strong sense of what's right--it's what I've dedicated my life to.
So, I'm a cad and a rogue. I know. But there's plenty of ways to settle this She attacked me because of Hrun and YOU. Emphasis on the YOU! Plus, I was only here when Hrun and the Tiger avitar were fighting because it (was) my job!
I don't care about that sutpid brute. He gropes fine. But when I get strangled because of it, heads will roll!
As for the compensation, what are you offering. If we can come to a mutually beneficial agreement, then I'm game. If not, I'm finding a lawyer and suing you for everything your worth.
Originally posted by Tamper Lad:
Go to Rockhoppers' Frio have fun.
I'll handle this, your staying here impairs your chances of getting a fair settlement.
Listen to Tamper Lad Frio!! Let's have some fuuun already.
Ah, is this another victim of your illegal Britishizer ray? You seem to have a tendency to do violence, Tamper.
Rather against the very nature of your themes to better Legion World, correct?
Who is this being? Disaster Boy? Cosmopolitan King?
What about your unionizing of Legion World? Any luck with that? Because I've seen very little activity all night when I was working. yet, here you were, flirting with Caliente and Frio, when the citizens of Legion World [sarcasm]need you [/sarcasm].
<notices note on desk. It reads:
"Hey Cobie, thanks for the flowers you sent my mother! I'll have to repay you! *tee hee* Love, Jailbait Lass">
(Ah Lolita, what a good kid...)
Originally posted by Tamper Lad:
<Pushes CK's hand off Frio. Hands him Dover sole>
Here take this Cobie.
Go to Rockhoppers' Frio have fun.
I'll handle this.
Don't condescend to me. Caliente might've liked that but I'm my own woman! And I can fight my own battles, thank you very much.
But *kiss on cheek* it was ver nice of you to offer to help. Guess evil geniuses aren't allll bad.
Originally posted by Caliente:
Listen to Tamper Lad Frio!! Let's have some fuuun already.
And, you, Caliente, stay out of this.
Originally posted by Caliente:
Listen to Tamper Lad Frio!!
OOPS,
**Purr**
Damm 1/2 second too late!
(GOTCHA!)
**Purr**
Originally posted by Frio:
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
[b] How is it my fault? I have no idea why Luna is acting crazy--hell, for all I know, she actually is crazy to begin with! I thought she wanted a man or something...why'd she attack you?
And I doubt there's a place on LW that you'd be safe from Hrun. He pretty much goes where he pleases.
And if you're looking for some sort of compensation, anything you have in mind besides money or property?
<puts hand on shoulder gently>
No sense of morality when it comes to casual sexual relationships, well then yes. But I do have a strong sense of what's right--it's what I've dedicated my life to.
So, I'm a cad and a rogue. I know. But there's plenty of ways to settle this
I don't care about that sutpid brute. He gropes fine. But when I get strangled because of it, heads will roll!
As for the compensation, what are you offering. If we can come to a mutually beneficial agreement, then I'm game. If not, I'm finding a lawyer and suing you for everything your worth.[/b]There are more ways to get something pleasurable than money or property. I know quite a few.
And I had hopes for you for this Office--I bet you would have made one fine Security Officer.
Originally posted by Frio:
And, you, Caliente, stay out of this.
I'm just trying to help y'know. You don't have to be a jerk.
(Keep my secret and I'll keep yours cat. Ain't karma a bastich?)
Originally posted by disaster boy:
Originally posted by Frio:
[b] *a disgruntled Frio still gasps for air*
I hate you all. And tell Cobalt Kid, I quit.
*iceslides out*
stupid hooch[/b]I
you, doorknob!
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
Ah, is this another victim of your illegal Britishizer ray? You seem to have a tendency to do violence, Tamper.
Rather against the very nature of your themes to better Legion World, correct?
Who is this being? Disaster Boy? Cosmopolitan King?
What about your unionizing of Legion World? Any luck with that? Because I've seen very little activity all night when I was [b]working. yet, here you were, flirting with Caliente and Frio, when the citizens of Legion World [sarcasm]need you [/sarcasm].
<notices note on desk. It reads:
"Hey Cobie, thanks for the flowers you sent my mother! I'll have to repay you! *tee hee* Love, Jailbait Lass">
(Ah Lolita, what a good kid...)[/b]
I never said my crusade would be non-violent CK, simply that the end result would be glorious.
As for the unionizing, well I took the night off, I had to go off-world for a celebration in my honour. Well your staff has kinda fallen apart because they went postal again anyways Kid.
Now DB seems to have been sent to some future. I don't know if it's our future or if the very presence of CosKing here means that the timelines have diverged.
Now excuse me, I'm off to redecorate the SUDL.
Stoopid Cat, do I get catnip as well?
Originally posted by Tamper Lad:
Be nice to the lady, you weren't almost murdered by a co-worker. Although reading your case log The Office of Security appears to be worse that the United States Postal Service when it comes to workplace violence.
(kicks Tamper Lad)
I am not a worker here, you mother dog humper (sorry STU)!
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
There are more ways to get something pleasurable than money or property. I know quite a few.
And I had hopes for you for this Office--I bet you would have made one fine Security Officer.
Mmmm... that's what you think.
I'd had hopes for me too but this office is like a magnet for conflict! I mean, aside from the Hrun/Tiger fight and the Luna-trying-to-murder-me, there was also the Disaster Boy/Cosmopolitan King battle! And, somehow, I got caught up in all of them, even after I quit!
It's chaos, I tell you. Pure chaos. And not the good kind either.
I better follow those two just in case they want to turn poor DB into one of Thora's cheap doormats...
Originally posted by Frio:
Originally posted by disaster boy:
[b]i tried to save you....
stupid hooch
And, apologies Disaster Boy. You must realize that I was suffering from a severe lack of airflow when I made such statements.
Originally posted by Tamper Lad:
Frio, I think you have a very strong case. Are you alright, wow, those are some nasty contusions on yor neck. I did warn you about this den of iniquity, didn't I Frio?
I'd pay the woman Kid. You have no case.
Just not so dangerously that I'm strangled by priestesses over nothing but a misunderstanding.
[/b]What rumors, you banged the boss the first day, and I I created you, I'll say what I want about you!
I am not a lowly priestess, you pig woman!
Originally posted by disaster boy:
sorry frio just grumpy from taking on my (apparently much more powerful) half sister after she knocked the office of security down on me.
I am not your sister! I am not your aunt, you are half of my race, we are not related!
Originally posted by Luna:
What rumors, you banged the boss the first day, and I I created you, I'll say what I want about you!
I am not a lowly priestess, you pig woman!
Luna, leave the kid alone!
*sigh*
We are never going to go on vacation, are we Frio?
Originally posted by Luna:
What rumors, you banged the boss the first day, and I I created you, I'll say what I want about you!
I am not a lowly priestess, you pig woman!
Do you see what I have to put up with Cobalt Kid? You want me to drop the lawsuit, then do something about it!
Please.
And don't you have a husband-to-be to go on vacation with Caliente? Go bug him.
Originally posted by Frio:
Originally posted by disaster boy:
[qb] sorry frio just grumpy from taking on my (apparently much more powerful) half sister after she knocked the office of security down on me.
QB]Go ahead and try, I'm not scared of you, I'll erase you!
Originally posted by Frio:
And don't you have a husband-to-be to go on vacation with Caliente? Go bug him.
Fine. See if I try to help you again.
<also leaves>
I need a drink...
Originally posted by Frio:
Originally posted by Luna:
[b]What rumors, you banged the boss the first day, and I I created you, I'll say what I want about you!
I am not a lowly priestess, you pig woman!
Please.
And don't you have a husband-to-be to go on vacation with Caliente? Go bug him.[/b]What are you going to sue him for, I don't work here, you do, you got yourself in the mess, get yourself out of it, and I can do whatever I want, you are my DAUGHTER!!!
Originally posted by Caliente:
Originally posted by Frio:
[b] And don't you have a husband-to-be to go on vacation with Caliente? Go bug him.
<also leaves>
I need a drink...[/b]Come back, I like you!!!
(makes a seabreeze)
I have liquor!
Originally posted by Luna:
Go ahead and try, I'm not scared of you, I'll erase you!
You can't erase me! And how could you be my mother? Hou can't even get a man!
Originally posted by Frio:
Originally posted by Luna:
[b]Go ahead and try, I'm not scared of you, I'll erase you!
I'm one third of your mother, the Weird Sisters are your creators!
(I guess I had a little bit of that seabreeze)
Okay, I give up.
Seriously.
But I will take that seabreeze...
Originally posted by Luna:
I'm one third of my daughter, the Weird Sisters are your creators!
You lie.
If you were my creator (or at least 1/3 of them) then why would you try to kill me?
Originally posted by Frio:
Originally posted by Luna:
[b]I'm one third of my daughter, the Weird Sisters are your creators!
If you were my creator (or at least 1/3 of them) then why would you try to kill me?[/b]umm...I was on my rag and...your one third mother just got dumped...AAAAAHHuhhhh...I need some alcohol.
Originally posted by Luna:
umm...I was on my rag and...your one third mother just got dumped...AAAAAHHuhhhh...I need some alcohol.
<passes seabreeze>
Originally posted by Luna:
umm...I was on my rag and...your one third mother just got dumped...AAAAAHHuhhhh...I need some alcohol.
I still refuse to believe that my mother would try to kill me.
Originally posted by Frio:
Originally posted by Luna:
[b]umm...I was on my rag and...your one third mother just got dumped...AAAAAHHuhhhh...I need some alcohol.
I'm not so much as your mother, as I am your creator (or one third).
We made you to watch someone when we got bored.
(pulls down Frio's pant far enough to reveal a crescent moon on her thigh)
We branded you.
(looks at seabreeze)
No thanks.
Originally posted by Luna:
I'm not so much as your mother, as I am your creator (or one third).
We made you to watch someone when we got bored.
(pulls down Frio's pant far enough to reveal a crescent moon on her thigh)
We branded you.
(looks at seabreeze)
No thanks.
But... but... no...
I need some time to think.
*iceslides away*
Duuuude.
Maybe you shouldn't have told her. I don't think she's taking it so well.
<sips seabreeze>
Damn, this drink is good. Props to you Luna.
We probably shouldn't have left her on the footsteps of those people in the North Pole who were wishing for a child.
She'll get over it, eventually.
Probaby. I wouldn't stress it.
But, then, a few more of these seabreezes and I won't be stressing anything so...
Cali, let's make a pack, Cobalt is no knight in shining armor, let's swear him off our list of potential available men, and let's not even think about Space Ranger, can you imagine?
He's such a dweeb, and Abin is taken, so he's not an option, same goes for Lightning Lad.
Loser Lad is too much of a free spirit and Invisible Brainiac is too young to settle down.
Originally posted by Luna:
...and let's not even think about Space Ranger, can you imagine?
He's such a dweeb,...
Sentients, I have two words for you:
AS IF!!!!
Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Like I care...)
Originally posted by Space Ranger:
Originally posted by Luna:
[b] ...and let's not even think about Space Ranger, can you imagine?
He's such a dweeb,...
AS IF!!!!
Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Like I care...)[/b]And he's also gay, which reminds me cross Semi off that list, that's probably the biggest loss of all to the female sex...
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Arial, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Arial, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Luna:
<strong> Cali, let's make a pack, Cobalt is no knight in shining armor, let's swear him off our list of potential available men, and let's not even think about Space Ranger, can you imagine?
So, I think I can definitely agree to your terms. ^_^
Originally posted by Luna:
And he's also gay, which reminds me cross Semi off that list, that's probably the biggest loss of all to the female sex...
I was just thinking that!
I guess we have to cross Joeboy off the list too then, huh? Bummer.
Hey, we heard that over in the SUDL
Originally posted by Caliente:
Originally posted by Luna:
[b]And he's also gay, which reminds me cross Semi off that list, that's probably the biggest loss of all to the female sex...
I guess we have to cross Joeboy off the list too then, huh? Bummer.[/b]Major, Joe is such a hottie, cross Mllash off the list.
Originally posted by Luna:
Major, Joe is such a hottie, cross Mllash off the list.
Quis too, right? Isn't he marrying the Royal Inquisitor?
What about EDE? And DB?
Originally posted by Tamper Lad:
Hey, we heard that over in the SUDL
...Heard what TL...?
Originally posted by Caliente:
Originally posted by Luna:
[b]Major, Joe is such a hottie, cross Mllash off the list.
What about EDE? And DB?
Originally posted by Tamper Lad:
Hey, we heard that over in the SUDL
Tamper Lad is gay, too? Who knew?
DB isn't into women, EDE and I are just friends, but damn is that fro sexy.
What me gay? No I'm in the majori... oh wait this is Legion world... the minority party.
Originally posted by Luna:
Tamper Lad is gay, too? Who knew?
DB isn't into women, EDE and I are just friends, but damn is that fro sexy.
Huh. Not me but it explains a few things... (overcompensation)
I figured DB wasn't but I wanted to double check. EDE has a fro what now?
WHAT? WHAT? WHAT?
Who's overcompensating? for what?
I'm just
saying. All the take-over-Legion-World/Evil Genius stuff is a bit, y'know...
<coughs>
Anyway...
Originally posted by Caliente:
I'm just saying. All the take-over-Legion-World/Evil Genius stuff is a bit, y'know...
<coughs>
Anyway...Big ideas for such a little man, I completely understand, Cali.
Originally posted by Luna:
Originally posted by Space Ranger:
[b]
Originally posted by Luna:
[b] ...and let's not even think about Space Ranger, can you imagine?
He's such a dweeb,...
Sentients, I have two words for you:
AS IF!!!!
Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Like I care...)[/b]
would you prefer me in a ball gag and a dog collar?
Originally posted by Luna:
Big ideas for such a little man, I completely understand, Cali.
I knew you would!
Originally posted by Tamper Lad:
would you prefer me in a ball gag and a dog collar?
Actually, yes.
You must be thinking of LAM.
Originally posted by Luna:
And he's also gay, which reminds me cross Semi off that list, that's probably the biggest loss of all to the female sex...
You are too sweet. Remind me to make it my life's work to find you your prince charming.
It's the truth, son!
But of course, you already knew that...
Originally posted by Caliente:
Originally posted by Tamper Lad:
[b] would you prefer me in a ball gag and a dog collar?
Not me, I want you in ropes, with an apple in your mouth, rotating over a fire.
Incidentally, I just wandered into the Security Office to see if there was any word on Vee and also to see if I could ask Cobalt Kid a favor, regarding my quest for my origins...
Originally posted by Luna:
Originally posted by Caliente:
[b]
Originally posted by Tamper Lad:
[b] would you prefer me in a ball gag and a dog collar?
Actually, yes.[/b]
She's such a cutie.
And I would have myself gilded in gold, larger than life. Winged victory herself, would be kneeling before me in all her glory head bowed, presenting me with Legion World.
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Arial, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Arial, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Semi Transparent Fellow:
<strong> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Arial, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Arial, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Luna:
<strong> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Arial, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Arial, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Space Ranger:
<strong> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Arial, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Arial, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Luna:
<strong> ...and let's not even think about Space Ranger, can you imagine?
Originally posted by Kid Prime:
She's such a cutie. That's one word for it...
(
Luna)
Peace...and harmony - at last!
Originally posted by Tamper Lad:
And I would have myself gilded in gold, larger than life. Winged victory herself, would be kneeling before me in all her glory head bowed, presenting me with Legion World.
How about I present you on a tray roasted to perfection?
So much for that peace, eh?
Where the heck is winged victory these days. I need a sidekick. I wonder if she's available....
Oh Jove, Jove? Is Nike around I need winged victory as a sidekick.
Originally posted by Tamper Lad:
Where the heck is winged victory these days. I need a sidekick. I wonder if she's available....
Roasted and eaten, which reminds me, did you like the chicken I gave you for diner, Cali?
Originally posted by Luna:
Roasted and eaten, which reminds me, did you like the chicken I gave you for diner, Cali?
Yeah. It was a little tought but I managed just fine...
...should I be afraid that you're asking me this question...?
You did not serve the goddess Nike to Caliente for dinner Luna.
Originally posted by Abin Quank:
Originally posted by Luna:
[b]
Originally posted by Space Ranger:
[b] </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Arial, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Arial, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Luna:
<strong> ...and let's not even think about Space Ranger, can you imagine?
He's such a dweeb,...
Sentients, I have two words for you:
AS IF!!!!
Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Like I care...)[/b]
</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Arial, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Thanks, Little Brother...
Sheesh, One Time! One dern time, and while I was mind controlled by Thora at that...
Truth and justice shall Prevail!
(But will they let me forget it? Nooo....)
Originally posted by Tamper Lad:
You did not serve the goddess Nike to Caliente for dinner Luna.
Oh no, I served her your pet chicken, Nike is in the Heavens spitting on you and calling it rain.
...
...
...
Thank God(s) it wasn't Nike. I was worried for a moment there.
I don't own a chicken. If I were to have an animal it would be cute... like a dachshund.
Uh-huh, you can cry, if it's any constallation, I didn't kill it, and I didn't know it was yours.
Ahhh you killed my physicist chicken Cluckers Bohr.
Originally posted by Tamper Lad:
Ahhh you killed my physicist chicken Cluckers Bohr. I said I didn't kill it, I found it like that.
Eugh!! Then why did you feed it to me?? That's the last time I accept your cooking...
Um now I'm worried for Caliente, Mr. Cluckers was no ordinary chicken. (Well he was a capon but all eating chickens are, that's not the point.) He was radioactive and full of my experimental mutagenic compounds.
I wonder if they'll have any affect on poor Cali.
Don't worry. I'll just employ the supermodel method of purifying.
Originally posted by Tamper Lad:
Um now I'm worried for Caliente, Mr. Cluckers was no ordinary chicken. (Well he was a capon but all eating chickens are, that's not the point.) He was radioactive and full of my experimental mutagenic compounds.
I wonder if they'll have any affect on poor Cali.
No, I sterilized it. She'll be fine and dandy, I have forseen the future!!!
Originally posted by Caliente:
Don't worry. I'll just employ the supermodel method of purifying.
You are looking fabulously slimer lately.
Thanks, I try.
Whew. Close call, that was. No more feeding me Tampers pets, okay?
Sterilized ??? But he was part of my Beta-Aflatoxin experiment. Carcinogenic in concentrations of 1x10-9 mol.
Yikes...
Originally posted by Caliente:
Thanks, I try.
Whew. Close call, that was. No more feeding me Tampers pets, okay?I guess that means you won't want these tuna sandwiches I just made.
Originally posted by Luna:
and Invisible Brainiac is too young to settle down.
That may be, but I wouldn't mind stepping in for a bit while you two look for a more long-term lover...
So... fight's over? (peers around carefully)
Good. I guess I won't have to use this then.
(tosses phantom zone projector back into the Security Office basement)
Originally posted by Invisible Brainiac:
Originally posted by Luna:
and Invisible Brainiac is too young to settle down.
It's long term or nothing!
(takes a wooden mallet, goes to the basement and smashes the Phantom Zone Projector)
That felt good, it was hit that or a person.
Originally posted by Luna:
Cali, let's make a pack, Cobalt is no knight in shining armor, let's swear him off our list of potential available men, and let's not even think about Space Ranger, can you imagine?
He's such a dweeb, and Abin is taken, so he's not an option, same goes for Lightning Lad.
Loser Lad is too much of a free spirit and Invisible Brainiac is too young to settle down. I am neither dweeb, taken, young, nor a free spirit...Should I be insulted?
Originally posted by Luna:
Originally posted by Space Ranger:
[b]
Originally posted by Luna:
[b] ...and let's not even think about Space Ranger, can you imagine?
He's such a dweeb,...
Sentients, I have two words for you:
AS IF!!!!
Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Like I care...)[/b]
Well! What am i? Chopped liver?
Origianlly psted by Luna:
Originally posted by Invisible Brainiac:
Originally posted by Luna:
and Invisible Brainiac is too young to settle down.
That may be, but I wouldn't mind stepping in for a bit while you two look for a more long-term lover...
It's long term or nothing!
(takes a wooden mallet, goes to the basement and smashes the Phantom Zone Projector)
That felt good, it was hit that or a person.
Oh, well, guess I'll have to wait a few more years.
Oh, about the phantom zone projector... um... ah... (sweats nervously) hope you're not too angry about that.
I'm ok, it was break that or break you.
The anger is gone, if Sol wants to chase after some oracle, let him, I'll find myself companionship in a different form.
Whew. Glad to hear that. About your anger being gone, I mean.
Originally posted by Invisible Brainiac:
Whew. Glad to hear that. About your anger being gone, I mean.
You would have prefered that I broke you instead of the machine?
Originally posted by Luna:
Originally posted by Invisible Brainiac:
[b]Whew. Glad to hear that. About your anger being gone, I mean.
Wait a minute...
Um... sounds pretty kinky, don't you think?
Originally posted by Invisible Brainiac:
Um... sounds pretty kinky, don't you think? A little too kinky, no dice, kid!
Originally posted by Luna:
Originally posted by Caliente:
[b]I'm just
saying. All the take-over-Legion-World/Evil Genius stuff is a bit, y'know...
<coughs>
Anyway...
How dare the two of you invoke the Freudian analysis of er anatomical envy on me. You both well-know I'm a Jungian.
Originally posted by Frio:
What am I? Chopped liver? Originally posted by legionadventureman:
Well! What am i? Chopped liver? All this talk of this delicacy means that I have to go uptown to get some. BWAHAHA. And just because it was an inferior food back in the day giving rise to the above idiom, doesn't mean anything. The ethnic food market is a premium priced market.
Tamper has his Labour day mission. Now to co-ordinate the proper route. <Leaves to find address of Jewish deli>
Originally posted by Tamper Lad:
Originally posted by Luna:
[b]
Originally posted by Caliente:
[b]I'm just
saying. All the take-over-Legion-World/Evil Genius stuff is a bit, y'know...
<coughs>
Anyway...
Big ideas for such a little man, I completely understand, Cali.[/b]
Originally posted by Frio:
What am I? Chopped liver? Originally posted by legionadventureman:
Well! What am i? Chopped liver?
Tamper has his Labour day mission. Now to co-ordinate the proper route. <Leaves to find address of Jewish deli> [/b]We always knew you were a Jung man, Tamper
Originally posted by Tamper Lad:
would you prefer me in a ball gag and a dog collar?
need i comment.
DB isn't into women, EDE and I are just friends, but damn is that fro sexy. [/QB]
well...to be exact let's just say there is hope for the female sex...just not much compared to the male sex.
Originally posted by disaster boy:
DB isn't into women, EDE and I are just friends, but damn is that fro sexy.
[/QB]Put DB back on the list, under potential bi!
Sigh.
I don't suppose we could get through a day without having someone killed, maimed, threatened or have a building dropped on them?
Just a thought
It definitely wouldn't be Legion World, if we did.
Originally posted by Spellbinder:
Sigh.
I don't suppose we could get through a day without having someone killed, maimed, threatened or have a building dropped on them?
Just a thought I think things are about to settle down for me, you know with my life span, menopause just wouldn't go away, not I'm free and kissing tampons good-bye!
Qward on the other hand...
It might be a refreshing change of pace
Originally posted by Luna:
I'm free and kissing tampons good-bye!
Well, there's a mental image for you...
akkkk Charming as always, ladies...
You're just jealous.
that I don't go insane with cramps and irrationality according to a monthly monthly cycle?
Surely not...
but I suppose without women to drive us insane we'd be very bored.
Originally posted by Tamper Lad:
that I don't go insane with cramps and irrationality according to a monthly monthly cycle?
Surely not...
but I suppose without women to drive us insane we'd be very bored.
No, you're just jealous that you don't have a great set of breasts to play with like the rest of us.
Or multiple orgasms. Mmm...
Originally posted by Caliente:
Or multiple orgasms. Mmm...
Yeah, a man's definitely not around when that happens.
Originally posted by Caliente:
Or multiple orgasms. Mmm...
The evil genius institute has argued that this is the reason why women should do all the work during the act of copulation. Since they derive much more enjoyment from it, it's only fair.
Evolution has at least provided males with one boon. Females of a harem seem to send out hormonal cues that cause them all to go insane at the same time... thus sparing their male companions the untold agony of round the clock emotional chaos.
Enough, time to act like ladies.
I want an appletini!
Originally posted by Luna:
Originally posted by Caliente:
[b]Or multiple orgasms. Mmm...
<out of character for a sec>
When they started a campaign for Viagra for Female sexual dysfunction, we laughed cuz... we concluded that FSD was mostly due to the partner but whaterver.
<resume evil genius>
Originally posted by Tamper Lad:
Originally posted by Luna:
[b]
Originally posted by Caliente:
[b]Or multiple orgasms. Mmm...
Yeah, a man's definitely not around when that happens.[/b]
When they started a campaign for Viagra for Female sexual dysfunction, we laughed cuz... we concluded that FSD was mostly due to the partner but whaterver.
<resume evil genius>[/b]That's not very lady-like.
Originally posted by Tamper Lad:
FSD is not lady-like?
That's why the people who have it are called men.
well ya, I've always thought FSD was caused by men but the drug company's don't want people to hear that, do they?
The Security Office has always been known for sexual debauchery among its employees, but ladies please pick your mates elsewhere! Can't you see there's work being done?
Now, if you're all going to hang around here, I'll give you something to do: help find Vee, help Quis fix his powers, help find Abin!
Psst-- Help find Kid Prime's parents!
CK, the ransom demand clearly says Abin is being held by Qwardians.
Allow me to use my superior power of intuition to help you. This suggests Abin is being held on Qward, doesn't it?
And CK, how many slu... i mean staff does it really take to figure this out anyways? Looks like you're not exactly running a tight ship around here.
Thats because LAM's never around when you need him...
Feh, now that I've done my "good deed" for the day. I'll take my leave.
<slaps Jailbait Lass on the bum while finding the way out>
I think we're going to have to either prioritize the crises, or select mission teams.
I think Cobie should hire LAM to take care of trivial stuff, like paying attention to what ransom notes say and things...
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
The Security Office has always been known for sexual debauchery among its employees, but ladies please pick your mates elsewhere! Can't you see there's work being done?
Now, if you're all going to hang around here, I'll give you something to do: help find Vee, help Quis fix his powers, help find Abin!
MeeeOWWWWWWWW!!!!! MrroooooWWW!!!!
*** What is it with these people? Don't they care that a stalwart member of Legion World and longtime LMBPer has disappeared and may have been the victim of a kidnapping (or worse!) What good is having all these supposedly omnipowerful humans and or quasi-godlike entities floating around here if all they seem to be interested in is fighting with each other?
And why hasn't anyone given me some fresh cream? Priorities, humans, priorities!!!
How remiss of me...Connie, here is your cream, sweetness...
Purrrrr!!!
*Yummmmm!! Thank you!
<Using his comm device>
Connie your Majesty, the problems are obviously due to lack of vision in the office.
Memo from Invisible Brainiac to Cobalt Kid
RE: The whereabouts of Varalent (and Abin Quank)
Assuming that the Emerald Eye has not been affected by any outside force, Varalent is NOT on Legion World proper as the Emerald Empress has been actively scanning Legion World.
As of this afternoon, Varalent is also definitely not on any of the planetoids within a one light year-radius around Legion World. I have personally scanned all plaentoids in the area at light speed. Unfortunately, this is assuming that Varalent's physcial form has not been altered in any way; if he has been shrunk down or transformed into another being, then this does not apply.
Assuming that the ransom note for Abin Quank is not legit and he is not on Qward, Abin Quank is also not on Legion World or anwhere within a one light year radius of it. Unless, of course, his physical form has been changed.
I am currently actively searching the Legion World tesseract system in the hopes of coming across a clue to either of their whereabouts. I will report when I have found one, or when I am done searching.
Invisible Brainiac
Originally posted by Queen Connie:
Purrrrr!!!
*Yummmmm!! Thank you!
You're welcome, precious (scratches Connie's chin)
Connie dear, perhaps you would like to drop by my penthouse. I have a talented massage therapist on staff whose hands are at your disposal, day or night. And there's always cream in my refrigerator
Cru, may i appoint myself as QC's official protector and care-giver until Vee is found safe and sound?
You'll have to ask Connie, LAM. Since cats more or less do what they like, it will be her decision if she wants a protector
Cobie, dear, perhaps the Oracles of Psyonia would be some help in the search for our missing members. The Chief Oracle of Psyonia is Cassandra. It might be helpful to consult with her.
Originally posted by Spellbinder:
You'll have to ask Connie, LAM. Since cats more or less do what they like, it will be her decision if she wants a protector Your wisdom, as always, is beyond reproach, Cru...Connie, will you need me to attend to your every whim, including seeing to your safety?
<card arrives at the Security Office>
<span style="font-size: 20px;">?</span>
Which hairstyle is all the buzz?
<span style="font-size: 20px;">?</span>
A behive bouffant, obviously.
Your good TL. but what does it all mean?
That bees have no fashion sense?
I've had the suspicious feeling I've been followed by bees all day now that you've mentioned it. I think I recall something at Vee's villa.
Princess, is there any indication whether my compensation package will be approved at the convention?
Hmm... a bouffant is worn on the head, but they make it difficult to wear a hat... what would make it difficult for Legion Worlders to wear hats is if the Millenary Shop were shut down...
Great Kaiser's Bun! The Red Bee is going to attack my Millenary Shop!
Originally posted by Tamper Lad:
I've had the suspicious feeling I've been followed by bees all day now that you've mentioned it. I think I recall something at Vee's villa.
*groan*
If you try & say they were red, you wake up as a chihuahua. I refuse to believe even Cobalt could be
that incompetent, unless he's taking handouts now.
No no...more a Scarlet colour actually. heh heh heh.
Originally posted by Reboot:
Originally posted by Tamper Lad:
[b]I've had the suspicious feeling I've been followed by bees all day now that you've mentioned it. I think I recall something at Vee's villa.
If you try & say they were red, you wake up as a chihuahua. I refuse to believe even Cobalt could be that incompetent, unless he's taking handouts now.[/b]Cobalt Kid is most likely at some 5$ an hour motel with yet another floozy, attending to the "brain" at the base of his torso. I think you give him too much credit Reboot.
Originally posted by Tamper Lad:
Princess, is there any indication whether my compensation package will be approved at the convention?
I wouldn't hold my breath, dear
Originally posted by Spellbinder:
Originally posted by Tamper Lad:
[b] Princess, is there any indication whether my compensation package will be approved at the convention?
You do realize this means I will be looking for an alternate source of the "materials" in question for my plan
Originally posted by SCarlet:
No no...more a Scarlet colour actually. heh heh heh.
Dern it, there it is again.
What you do with consenting adults is your business, dear, but if you force anyone into anything against their will, I promise you that the LMBP will bring you down
Originally posted by Spellbinder:
What you do with consenting adults is your business, dear, but if you force anyone into anything against their will, I promise you that the LMBP will bring you down Perish the thought. Princess tell the 500 what I have in mind, they'll gladly consent. Even with the tremendous sacrifices involved.
Foul Scarlet Insect Woman, what have you done with Vee?
Originally posted by Tamper Lad:
Originally posted by Reboot:
[b]
Originally posted by Tamper Lad:
[b]I've had the suspicious feeling I've been followed by bees all day now that you've mentioned it. I think I recall something at Vee's villa.
*groan*
If you try & say they were red, you wake up as a chihuahua. I refuse to believe even Cobalt could be
that incompetent, unless he's taking handouts now.[/b]
I have to defend Cobalt Kid from this libelous slur. He does not go to $5 an hour motels. He springs for the $10 an hour motel.
Originally posted by Quislet, Esq.:
I have to defend Cobalt Kid from this libelous slur. He does not go to $5 an hour motels. He springs for the $10 an hour motel.
A real gentleman, through and through. :rolleyes:
Originally posted by Eryk Davis Ester:
Great Kaiser's Bun! The Red Bee is going to attack my Millenary Shop!
Not the Millenary, I have a new tam on order.
Originally posted by Tamper Lad:
Originally posted by Spellbinder:
[b]What you do with consenting adults is your business, dear, but if you force anyone into anything against their will, I promise you that the LMBP will bring you down
Foul Scarlet Insect Woman, what have you done with Vee?[/b]He lives...for now.
Originally posted by SCarlet:
Originally posted by Tamper Lad:
[b]
Foul Scarlet Insect Woman, what have you done with Vee?
Well I've done my part for today...
I'm going to the beach.
<Once again slaps JailBait lass on the bum on the way out>
Whiter Shades of Pale! Where *are* all the Security Offices? Someone has made a clear threat against my hatshop and I demand that someone do something to protect it!
Jeepers! Where has everyone disappeared to?
<EDE's Luck Lord appears, waves his hand, and EDE vanishes>
Originally posted by The Riddler:
<card arrives at the Security Office>
<span style="font-size: 20px;">?</span>
[b]Which hairstyle is all the buzz?
<span style="font-size: 20px;">?</span>
[/b]oh just kill the messenger.
hello scarlet red is my favorite color, blood red that is.
<arrives back home>
OK, I've spent the day on Earth-4, and can guarantee that there is no trans-dimensional theft going on. A quick zip through time (not to mention some fighting of time-beasts) and no time travel involvement.
Tamper Lad, you are hereby given a ticket for sexual harrassment by Jailbait Lass for the continue harrassment of a
minor. Ironic that the thing you accuse me of the most, sexual debauchery, is the one thing you've been displaying all day while I've once more been
working. (What does this guy do around here anyway?)
It appears that there are now two new enemies at large on Legion World: Cosmos King and SCarlet, both from an alternate reality future. SCarlet, I believe, is that dimensions daughter of the Red Bee. HOWEVER, they are not responsible for Vee's dissapearance, I can guarantee that.
All the wise guys--I know very much where Abin is, you f*ckin' idiots--why don't you go and
save him. I'm not LMB Leader, I'm Chief of Security. I don't order people on missions. It appears Disaster Boy and Vu are taking care of it, so someone help them.
Vee's dissapearance is related to Quis' powers, as Quis has gaining of growth powers (Vee's power) is no coincidence. After a in depth interview with the Royal Inquisitor this morning, I can say that he is not responsible, which many may have guessed. Invisible Brainiac is helping me handle this mission, while Matlock is searching the untamed streets. We have two leads right now that we are not at liberty to say anything about.
And for Lardy's sake, people--of course Vee isn't at the Villa!
If someone would like to take some initiative and stop waiting for Crujectra and I to tell them what to do, I suggest searching for EDE. Look for traces of Emerald Energy that undoubtedly still reside in his body after extended use of the Emerald Nelly Cap of Ekron.
The Red Bee is in prison as of this morning.
I don't frequent $10 or $5 cheap hotels. You all me well enough to know that I don't have the patience to get a hotel--I'm an anywhere, anytime kinda guy
.
Message to Emerald Empress and Queen Connie: please contact me as soon as possible, I believe you can help me find Vee.
Message to Reboot: As we move forward in our own plans, I would appreciate any help you can offer in protecting Legion World from supposed allies and friends that may or may not be crazy.
Message to Space Ranger: If things get crazy, start using your heat vision. Security Officers, follow his lead.
Message to Frio: I hope you find it in your heart to pitch in with this Crisis.
Crujeckie, I think I'll pay a visit to Cassandra and offer her worship in exchange for her help.
Cobalt Kid out.
<flies back out>
<telepathically contacts Cobalt Kid through the rapport they share>
Cobalt dear, I have taken the liberty of contacting Cassandra and informed her that you might be paying her a visit. She will offer you any help she can, free of charge. After all, you are helping one of the Royal Family
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
Tamper Lad, you are hereby given a ticket for sexual harrassment by Jailbait Lass for the continue harrassment of a [b]minor. Ironic that the thing you accuse me of the most, sexual debauchery, is the one thing you've been displaying all day while I've once more been working. (What does this guy do around here anyway?)
[/b]
<message for Cobalt Kid>
Hey JBL is this thing on...?
*Ahem* Cobalt Kid,
I refuse to recognize your jurisdiction. <rips up summons> If you check the transcript of the Constitutional Convention, you will see I've been recognized as a delegate of a foreign/alternate government. This places me above your laws.
As to what I do around here. I'm here to help in my own way, but also to bide my time until that alternate government germinates and flowers. Now if the convention would only approve my compensation package... hmmm there is that school on Venus I can get that supply on.
Hey JBL, thanks for all your help
. How'd'yu turn this thing off? Thanks, you're so smart...
Faraway Lad arrives at a strangely deserted security office.
"Well I guess there are all just out and about galavanting in some pub. Boy am I glad I am not a security officer, look at the mess in here"
After looking around for his friends Faraway starts to wonder if something is wrong
"I think I'd better check in with LMB HQ to see if there are any new diplomatic missions they need me for"
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
<arrives back home>
OK, I've spent the day on Earth-4, and can guarantee that there is no trans-dimensional theft going on. A quick zip through time (not to mention some fighting of time-beasts) and no time travel involvement.
Tamper Lad, you are hereby given a ticket for sexual harrassment by Jailbait Lass for the continue harrassment of a [b]minor. Ironic that the thing you accuse me of the most, sexual debauchery, is the one thing you've been displaying all day while I've once more been
working. (What does this guy do around here anyway?)
It appears that there are now two new enemies at large on Legion World: Cosmos King and SCarlet, both from an alternate reality future. SCarlet, I believe, is that dimensions daughter of the Red Bee. HOWEVER, they are not responsible for Vee's dissapearance, I can guarantee that.
All the wise guys--I know very much where Abin is, you f*ckin' idiots--why don't you go and
save him. I'm not LMB Leader, I'm Chief of Security. I don't order people on missions. It appears Disaster Boy and Vu are taking care of it, so someone help them.
Vee's dissapearance is related to Quis' powers, as Quis has gaining of growth powers (Vee's power) is no coincidence. After a in depth interview with the Royal Inquisitor this morning, I can say that he is not responsible, which many may have guessed. Invisible Brainiac is helping me handle this mission, while Matlock is searching the untamed streets. We have two leads right now that we are not at liberty to say anything about.
And for Lardy's sake, people--of course Vee isn't at the Villa!
If someone would like to take some initiative and stop waiting for Crujectra and I to tell them what to do, I suggest searching for EDE. Look for traces of Emerald Energy that undoubtedly still reside in his body after extended use of the Emerald Nelly Cap of Ekron.
The Red Bee is in prison as of this morning.
I don't frequent $10 or $5 cheap hotels. You all me well enough to know that I don't have the patience to get a hotel--I'm an anywhere, anytime kinda guy
.
Message to Emerald Empress and Queen Connie: please contact me as soon as possible, I believe you can help me find Vee.
Message to Reboot: As we move forward in our own plans, I would appreciate any help you can offer in protecting Legion World from supposed allies and friends that may or may not be crazy.
Message to Space Ranger: If things get crazy, start using your heat vision. Security Officers, follow his lead.
Message to Frio: I hope you find it in your heart to pitch in with this Crisis.
Crujeckie, I think I'll pay a visit to Cassandra and offer her worship in exchange for her help.
Cobalt Kid out.
<flies back out>[/b]
A little testy.
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
Message to Frio: I hope you find it in your heart to pitch in with this Crisis.
I think I could, though I will be expecting a very nice thank you once the crisis has been averted.
Ah Luna, Cobalt Kid just doesn't like a mirror held up to this operation.
The light of truth shines on the Office of Security and he gets all defensive.
Well, I never said that this place was competent.
Originally posted by Luna:
A little testy.
Well, of course. This
is Cobie we're talking about...
Oh, wait. Did you mean grumpy?
Originally posted by Caliente:
Originally posted by Luna:
[b]A little testy.
Oh, wait. Did you mean grumpy?[/b]You mean a little testi? But that would imply he only had one...
JBL what can you tell us 'bout that
Originally posted by Tamper Lad:
Originally posted by Caliente:
[b]
Originally posted by Luna:
[b]A little testy.
Well, of course. This
is Cobie we're talking about...
Oh, wait. Did you mean grumpy?[/b]
JBL what can you tell us 'bout that [/b]What are you doing here, people are at potential to get hurt and all you can think about is molesting a minor.
(spits on Tamper Lad)
I may not be the biggest Cobalt Kid fan, but at least he has priorties!
I'm hurt Luna, seriously what's in that spit of your's. No I'm not trying to molest the girl, I'm preparing to make the poor lass an offer to be part of something after this current business is over.
Now I must take these peanuts to Faraway Lad. Toodles.
Originally posted by Luna:
A little testy.
Can I rely on your support, Luna? I feel like I'm mired in a sea of in-fighting...I think we'd be great allies, like my old friend Viviane and I were.
As for my competence, I have to say that I'm becoming quite offended by this constant barrage. Check the backlogs for the last two years--my record is there for the public.
<this is a broadcast of the SUDL information system>
Emergency, Emergency! TL is out of time, TL is out of time. Readings indicate he left the timestream at... six...four...ty...five...PM.
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
As for my competence, I have to say that I'm becoming quite offended by this constant barrage. Check the backlogs for the last two years--my record is there for the public.
Yes, you put chips in people's heads
and signed them, then you turned Viv evil as soon as you slept with her, you embezzled tons of cash
publically from LegionWorld...
Yep, master of competence there
All heresay and rumors
Besides, none of those equal competence. Just outright arrogance (if they were true and stuff)...
Wow, I didn't even need Reboot's litany to know that I didn't want to submit to the LMB's version of the Keystone cops.
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
All heresay and rumors Says the guy who spent lots of time and SO influence trying to hush them up after the fact
i can say that at least two of Reboot's accusations are entirely false
Deny as you will Cobalt Kid, one day the light of knowledge will shine in the dark ignorant corners of the Office of Security.
It figures.
I head out to the planet Atlanta for a few days to get some RnR and hobnob with celebrities, and the place falls apart.
Can somebody recap the current crises for me, minus the arguing and stuff?
Let's see:
The Convention continues.
Abin is stuck on Qward. Disaster Boy and Vu are there too (DB for his own reasons).
Cosmos King and SCarlet have travelled from an alternate reality to kill us (SCarlet as that realities Red Bee's daughter).
Quis and the Royal Inquisitor are getting married.
Vee is missing.
Quis is stuck at 100 feet.
Tamper Lad is trying to create chaos on Legion World.
EDE just vanished.
Queen Connie has assembled the Calamity-Pets.
Luna has been battling with Space Ranger (apparently).
Oh, lots more. Check the Convention thread for some important stuff.
Welcome back, Miner.
<passes booze>
Now more than ever we need more drinkers.
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
Let's see:
Tamper Lad is trying to create chaos on Legion World.
Now more than ever we need more drinkers.
Chaos, Chaos???? I did more than your staff did all day... I'll be investigating hiring practices here as soon as I get back from the timestream with FL.
And distribution of alcohol just happens to be an Office of Security monopoly I suppose.
<takes bottle, drains it>
I'm sorry I asked.
Anything I can look into?
Could you find us a new office intern?
Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Just someone normal, who can type and file...)
Normal?
That's a tall order around here.
Couldn't you just reprogram one of the Supergirl robots or something?
Well... Ummm... actually no, we can't.
Truth and Justice shall Prevail
(Cobie claims thats because of Union Rules...)
The Security Office is a union shop?
Originally posted by Outdoor Miner:
The Security Office is a union shop?
It will be when I'm through here. Soldarity Forever, Brothers!
Originally posted by Outdoor Miner:
The Security Office is a union shop?
Nah, just the Supergirl Robots...
Truth and Justice shall Prevail)
(The Cute Young Overtly Technological Entities Union C.Y.O.T.E. U. (local 247) )
Originally posted by Space Ranger:
Could you find us a new office intern?
Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Just someone normal, who can type and file...)
I suppose I could be
convinced to take up my old position back... if you care to try Space Ranger.
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
Originally posted by Luna:
[b]A little testy.
As for my competence, I have to say that I'm becoming quite offended by this constant barrage. Check the backlogs for the last two years--my record is there for the public.[/b]I'll ally myself with you when I feel the need, in light, you need no help from me.
As for you compentence, I know your past, I breath you present, I see the future, I will make my own judgements.
And if you were here earlier, you would have notice that even
I defended you to the Tamperous one.
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
Let's see:
The Convention continues.
Abin is stuck on Qward. Disaster Boy and Vu are there too (DB for his own reasons).
Cosmos King and SCarlet have travelled from an alternate reality to kill us (SCarlet as that realities Red Bee's daughter).
Quis and the Royal Inquisitor are getting married.
Vee is missing.
Quis is stuck at 100 feet.
Tamper Lad is trying to create chaos on Legion World.
EDE just vanished.
Queen Connie has assembled the Calamity-Pets.
Luna has been battling with Space Ranger (apparently).
Oh, lots more. Check the Convention thread for some important stuff.
Welcome back, Miner.
<passes booze>
Now more than ever we need more drinkers.
I have not been fighting with Space Ranger, he was just under the impression that I worked here.
For all the contributing i do here, i dont get any respect - nothing! So my theory about Semi's painting being a trans-dimensional conduit responsible was a red herring - but don't throw me aside, just yet....
Cobalt Kid, i do have a place here at Legion World and i thank you for realising that.
Now if you will excuse me, i must trim Connie's claws.
Originally posted by legionadventureman:
For all the contributing i do here, i dont get any respect - nothing!
uh-huh...
Originally posted by legionadventureman:
For all the contributing i do here, i dont get any respect - nothing! So my theory about Semi's painting being a trans-dimensional conduit responsible was a red herring - but don't throw me aside, just yet....
Cobalt Kid, i do have a place here at Legion World and i thank you for realising that.
Now if you will excuse me, i must trim Connie's claws.
LAM
If you just joking around forgive me (but maybe a more judicious use of the smilies and stuff would help us to know your intent when you post?) but just in case you were really feeling a bit aggrieved.
I don think anyone is trying to ignore your posts or ideas mate. In fact if you head over
here bottom of page you’ll see that Faraway and Tamper Lad have brought together technology including a Flash treadmill to follow a Tran dimensional trail leading through the picture in Vee’s villa. Tamper supplies the 12th level genius, whilst Far uses his connection to the faraway force to track Vee. Yet given the nature of the message board no one else has as far as I know yet picked up on this or brought it into play in any of the other threads. That’s the way it is. I play this sort of game because its fun for me (and hopefully for the ones who read it) but I do realise that I am not, in these type of threads at least, going to get much if any feedback from anyone else. I’ve seen many good ideas put forward by people that get lost as the thread goes off on a tangent, sometimes you can drag it back but more often you just have to led the thread run and the idea sink.
And there’s another problem for you and I, this is an Ameriocnetric board and we are sometimes very much in the wrong time zone. I have lost track of the number of times I have posted during the day UK time, filled up almost the whole front page, then by the time I get a nights sleep and come back all of those posts have vanished. If people get on a postathon one night USA time then all my posts (and sometimes they are well crafted and though out ones) can be lost in a plethora of flirting and post padding. Again that’s the nature of the beast we have here as a message board. You’re in Australia right? So you’re in a different time zone, heck a different day at times. There are going to be many times I guess when a post you make will sit for 5 or 6 hours before the other side of the world wakes up and sees it. Then, in the rush to get breakfast and off to work they may not have time to answer. I know it might seem like they are ignoring you but they are not believe me. This is a great little internet community, and a lot more welcoming than some I have seen. But one thing (and cobalt can back me up on this being away for almost a year) is that you can be as active or as inactive as you like, you can come and go, and post or lurk, all are welcome and valued for their input. It’s just that sometimes the posters here take that for granted and they don’t make a point of telling people that.
Anyway this is a longer post than I meant it to be, and it’s shooting from the hip so I had better shut up now.
Keep posting away LAM
Darden,
In my haste to post, i nearly forgot that the LAM persona is not necessarily my own, so I unintentionally put my real self into my commentary and forgot that the furore regarding the Vee disappearance is all part of Legion World's fun-and-games - not to be taken seriously!
Thank you for your comments, mate, much appreciated!
Brian
Originally posted by Luna:
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
[b]Let's see:
The Convention continues.
Abin is stuck on Qward. Disaster Boy and Vu are there too (DB for his own reasons).
Cosmos King and SCarlet have travelled from an alternate reality to kill us (SCarlet as that realities Red Bee's daughter).
Quis and the Royal Inquisitor are getting married.
Vee is missing.
Quis is stuck at 100 feet.
Tamper Lad is trying to create chaos on Legion World.
EDE just vanished.
Queen Connie has assembled the Calamity-Pets.
Luna has been battling with Space Ranger (apparently).
Oh, lots more. Check the Convention thread for some important stuff.
Welcome back, Miner.
<passes booze>
Now more than ever we need more drinkers.
And I turned into a Bunny. *sigh* thats Ok...everyone forgets poor Joe.
You're always in my thoughts, Joe dear
aw shucks
Ah poor Joe. Take my advice: To be remembered take the inititive and seize something, like I just did last night when I came from the future and made that Girl's school orbiting Takron-Galtos disappear.
I have ensured the supply of maidens (untouched and unspoiled) that my past self will need for his as-yet unannounced diabolical plan. They are well, and unharmed. I don't think they know they've been removed from this universe yet.
My presence here is a paradox since my present self is still with Faraway Lad chasing after Vee so I must take my leave.
<leaves in a flash of energy>
Its ok...I was wearing my kidding face when I made that post (it looks a lot like your serious face / yes. people tell me that)
Its like Faraway said...its a timezone thing. Id love to contribute more in the way of storyline, but since that would require not sleeping, Im happy to do my bit with costume designs and the like.
Originally posted by KidMarvel (Bunny):
Its ok...I was wearing my kidding face when I made that post (it looks a lot like your serious face / yes. people tell me that)
Its like Faraway said...its a timezone thing. Id love to contribute more in the way of storyline, but since that would require not sleeping, Im happy to do my bit with costume designs and the like. Mroooow!
*Kid Marvel (Bunny), since you are currently in a superior body to that of the humanoids, you certainly qualify for membership in the Super Pets. Will you join my campaign to rescue the missing Legion World humans? Do you accept my call to arms?
Certainly My Lady...shall I meet you in the Campaign Headquarters for a de-briefing?
Originally posted by Outdoor Miner:
<takes bottle, drains it>
I'm sorry I asked.
Anything I can look into?
Up for helping find Vee, as well as EDE? Hell, I'll need to check in with you every few hours just to have a drinking buddy...
Jeepers, deserted. There seems to be an intelligence at work here. It's divided all the LMB's strength.
Cobie!! Where are Frio and Luna??
<looks around>
For that matter... where are you?? Ack, everyone is disappearing!! >< What's going on????
Urgent memo to Jailbait Lass--
Lolita, this is immensely important, so I'm using every loophole I have to get this through.
The Emerald Empress, Sarya of Veneger, has heroically passed away today in the field of battle for the cause of the LMB. She came to Legion World two years ago, and fought hard to show that she had changed her ways. She proved to us all that she truly had done this, and won our respect. Far more important, she won our friendship.
She was there for the opening days of the Security Office. One might say that Space Ranger, Super Lad Kid, Emerald Empress and myself truly founded this place, even though I led the charge--let's be honest, we couldn't have done it without her. And she surved honorably with the Security Office for the duration of its existence up until now.
She fought the StuBots and Phineas B. Fuddle, she fought the Red Bee and she defended Legion World. She was a hero.
Please have the Statue of the Emerald Empress, from the old unused Triumvirate plans that I've enclosed, erected in the lobby of the Security Office. As a sterling reminder that there are always those who will stand for justice--no matter what past haunts them.
-Cobalt Kid
Chief of Security
Originally posted by Caliente:
Cobie!! Where are Frio and Luna??
<looks around>
For that matter... where are you?? Ack, everyone is disappearing!! >< What's going on????
I'm where ever I want to be, like the credit card.
Poor Sarya, I'll miss her emerald locks, her smile, the twinkle in her eye that screamed of passion.
Her beautiful, beautiful, avatar...
Let's kill Red Bee!
Originally posted by Luna:
Let's kill Red Bee!
Can we do that??
And... I can't believe there's already been casualties. This crisis blows...
Nay, sisters of power! Heed my words for I, the Spirit of the Empress, see much from beyond that you do not.
The players are all in place as Fate has decreed at this time. It is not for you to intervene in this crisis, for doing so will cause unspeakable tragedy. Your day shall come soon enough but it is not today.
Rest easy in the knowledge that they also serve Fate who are asked to sit and wait.
<whispers to Luna>
Do you see the ghost too or am I hallucinating? Either way, I think I'm gonna listen...
Why am I filled with dread?
Originally posted by Emerald Empress:
Nay, sisters of power! Heed my words for I, the Spirit of the Empress, see much from beyond that you do not.
The players are all in place as Fate has decreed at this time. It is not for you to intervene in this crisis, for doing so will cause unspeakable tragedy. Your day shall come soon enough but it is not today.
Rest easy in the knowledge that they also serve Fate who are asked to sit and wait.
She speaks to
me of fate.
Originally posted by Caliente:
<whispers to Luna>
Do you see the ghost too or am I hallucinating? Either way, I think I'm gonna listen...Haven't you ever seen a spirit before?
She's right, though, I shall not interfere, you and Frio sevre a purpose in the light of Legion World.
Do you suppose that the Emerald Eye of Ekron rebelled and is seeking a new host?
No... Oh no... I can't believe the Empress... Sarya... is gone... How... How could this have happened...
Message arrives through holovid transmitter
"Cobalt Kid!, Its Faraway Lad, we have heard of the Empresses Death. The loss of a memeber of a Royal House must not go unpunished. The time for mourning is later, the time for action is now. Lets us call the full might of the LMB together, I woudl suggest we even need the reserves, the lurkers and the super pets in on this one"
I liked the green haired one, she was so lovely and always had a glow about her, like mine, though hers was more green and mine is a blue...
Originally posted by Emerald Empress:
Nay, sisters of power! Heed my words for I, the Spirit of the Empress, see much from beyond that you do not.
The players are all in place as Fate has decreed at this time. It is not for you to intervene in this crisis, for doing so will cause unspeakable tragedy. Your day shall come soon enough but it is not today.
Rest easy in the knowledge that they also serve Fate who are asked to sit and wait.
Hey there Empress - wanna go and do some dead people things together?
I've heard there are great things we can do with ectoplasm. But I'll need a hand to produce some .......
Originally posted by Luna:
Haven't you ever seen a spirit before?
She's right, though, I shall not interfere, you and Frio sevre a purpose in the light of Legion World.
Just Numf and I don't think that counts.
We do?? Er, I mean, of course we do!! But Frio's gone off elsewhere...
I hope she's okay. She's not a veteran like Empress was.
whew, i just got back from the future and boy am i hungry.
EDE is missing too? no not EDE? finding lost members is becoming a full time job around here.
and the Emerald Empress died? who will protect Shakes??
....and now Frio's gone. oh she's probably just in a closet with some guy.
Frio was with the super-pets, wasn't she?
EWWWWWWWWWWW
And the mission monitor seemed to show Reboot vanishing in an explosion of light.
Reboot gone...sounds like the Office of Security is the top suspect.
<span style="font-size: 24px;">?</span>
What is the best name for a thief?
<span style="font-size: 24px;">?</span>
Is that a hint from the Riddler about a possible attempt to sway back Rob's new future hubby Roy back to villainy?
-er, transmission from space from Cobalt...
[Looks around Security Office]
(I have not been here in quite some time...)
Quis, perhaps we should join the Super-Pets where they're rallying together? It's difficult to see who is left on Legion World with all these dissapearances. Is there some place to gather.
I want to make a good impression before I'm sent back to Takron-Galtos...
[holds tighly to Giant-Quis' ankle]
<Jailbait Lass speaks up>
Golly! I'd suggest everyone gathering at
LMBP Plaza!
Roy,
It is not about making a good impression. It is about helping people and doing good.
I think with so many people vanishing, we should stay here and keep an eye out.
As Quislet and the Royal Inqusisitor settle down in the darkend rooms of a deserted security office. (granted Quislet is a bit hunched up because the roof is not that high) They are unaware of the hundreds of triplicated eyes watching them.
Leperous white moon bodies move into postion.
Originally posted by Caliente:
Originally posted by Luna:
[b]Haven't you ever seen a spirit before?
She's right, though, I shall not interfere, you and Frio sevre a purpose in the light of Legion World.
We do?? Er, I mean, of course we do!! But Frio's gone off elsewhere...
I hope she's okay. She's not a veteran like Empress was. [/b]
Nobody is expendable - not Frio or Hrun or anybody who wishes to serve on the side of truth, justice and the international way!
Originally posted by Banshee:
I pretty sure Frio is expendable.
Hey!! That's my friend you jerk!!
(Message from Invisible Brainiac)
Cobalt Kid! Matlock! This is IB requesting help! I was with Queen Connie, Frio, Hrun, LAM, Calamity Monkey and the LMBP pets! We were tracking down Penis Eradicaotr Lad and Nads-Kicker Lass, and we found them dead in a cave not far from the Office of Security! Now we're being attacked by these giant tick-things that suck your memories or something! We need help right away! I'm downloading the coordinates now. Please, Cobie, or anyone who's there, we don't have much time!
(end transmission)
Originally posted by Caliente:
Originally posted by Banshee:
[b]I pretty sure Frio is expendable.
IB Purple flies in, looking to see if anyone is here.
"Quislet, Royal Inquisitor... It's good to see you. Legion World is being invaded, and I was afraid nobody was here to protect the Security Office... I hope I'm not disturbing you, but if you don't mind... I'll stay and help you..."
(enters with Laverna)
We are need of aid, where is the leader of this office, the one named...Cobalt?
Um... I'm afraid he's not here at the moment. We three are all that're here right now... I hope I can help. Please, please sit down for a moment.
My problem is really simple to explain, the Universe is going to be destroyed.
Oh.
Well, that's simple, all right.
Oh man, where are the others? I really don't think I can handle this... who's behind it? what should we do?
We want your help to make sure that it doesn't happen.
We don't really know who's going to destroy it, let us explain.
You see, there are powerful forces of magic that together can cause great peace and great destruction.
We have found some of these items and hide them so no one can use them, we have:
The Staff of Mouseking, capable of increasing and decreasing power and size, changing into different weapons, and transmutation
The Unraveling Golden Locket, capable of undoing the most powerful spells
The Crystal of the Enchanted Forest, protects from spells and energy
The Wand of the Fairy Queen, a conduit for the most powerful magics
The Ring of Rothbart, can change people into animals and beast and disguise others with illusions
The Paintbrush of Rapunzel, can open portals to any place
We have collected these items and have kept them safe.
But that's not our problem, there is still the eight butterfly necklaces of the rainbow out there.
A necklace was used by a choosen person to protect an entire galaxy, but all the necklaces have been lost, and evil is after them. But in the wrong hands, one necklace can also destroy an entire galaxy.
When all eight are together, with the items with already collected, the can give a single entity the power to rival the Time Trapper!
We must find the Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo, Purple and Silver Rainbow necklaces before evil can, we shall then be able to hide them from ever doing harm again.
So, will you help us stop the destruction of the universe?
Originally posted by Invisible Brainiac:
Okay, so how can I help?
Help us search for the necklaces.
Okay... All right, I will. And since this is s important... (calls Jailbait Lass) Lolita, please let me talk to Orange. There's an emergency...
Orange says he'll help too. Both of us are at your service.
Good, our first necklace is Red, we believe that it is somewhere in Legion World!
Then let's begin our hunt
here. Sorry to leave you, Quis, Roy. You're welcome to join the others at the Command Center, if you want.
<span style="font-size: 24px;">?</span>
From Real Gear Garb
To Ungrotty Grotto
"From 1958 to NOW"
Began the motto
<span style="font-size: 24px;">?</span>
Originally posted by Gothel:
The Staff of Mouseking, capable of increasing and decreasing power and size, changing into different weapons, and transmutation
You know, there's someone on LW right now who has a problem that this could help with.
Originally posted by Outdoor Miner:
Originally posted by Gothel:
[b]
The Staff of Mouseking, capable of increasing and decreasing power and size, changing into different weapons, and transmutation
These items shall not be used while the evil entity searches for them.
Note to Jailbait Lass:
After crisis, see me immediately about giving Invisible Brainiac a HUGE raise!
(And not that kind either
)
One necklace down, now let's go to the weird galaxy for the next one!
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
Note to Jailbait Lass:
After crisis, see me immediately about giving Invisible Brainiac a HUGE raise!
Yeah! Thanks! No more having to sneak food and vids out of the Security Office. Now I can buy my own!
Um, forget I said that last part.
NOTE to Jailbait Lass--
Lolita, you've always been a total professional before when working here, so please stop making goo-goo eyes at Invisible Brainiac
(I've never seen her have such a crush before...)
While no-one is looking ucien Lad sneaks into the security office. The porcupine on the reception desk doesn't look up since, you know, Lucien Lad, and thus doesn't notice as Lucien Lad sneaks into the nearest toliet and starts dropping stink bombs down every u-bend. Lucien Lad then sneaks out again as the smell of rotten eggs starts to thread it's way around the building.
Hm... just how old IS Lolita, anyway?
Oh, Lucien, stink bombs are SOOOOO UNfabulous.
Originally posted by Invisible Brainiac:
Hm... just how old IS Lolita, anyway?
86... But a
young 86
Originally posted by Invisible Brainiac:
Hm... just how old IS Lolita, anyway?
Oh, Lucien, stink bombs are SOOOOO UNfabulous. She's permanantly stuck in the body of a 16 year old! And a fine body it is!
How come Jailbait Lass never speaks for herself? Is the poor girl a mute?
Well, she's been very traumatized as of late, after the Red Bee buried her alive.
I brought her here to Legion World when it opened, and she works directly for me. We dated when I was, er, *whisper* 19 *whisper*, and we've stayed in touch. She's fiercely loyal to the Security Office and to me personally. She's an excellent admin too.
And she says all she needs to with that look she gives...
I figured that she was pretending to be a ventriloquist's dummy, what with your hand up her dress and everything
I wonder if Jailbait Lass is related to Coma Girl.
*The Red Bee sits in a cell, waiting for Takron-Galtos to be repaired after the recent destruction by Banshee and the horrible murders committed by the Bee himself. His mind has been rendered completely useful thanks to the LMB Spectre. He continues to see the horror that he has shown others, over and over again, and truly knows terror.*
Originally posted by Lucien Lad:
While no-one is looking ucien Lad sneaks into the security office. The porcupine on the reception desk doesn't look up since, you know, Lucien Lad, and thus doesn't notice as Lucien Lad sneaks into the nearest toliet and starts dropping stink bombs down every u-bend. Lucien Lad then sneaks out again as the smell of rotten eggs starts to thread it's way around the building.
*Lucien Lad passes his cell, unaware that the Red Bee’s heightened senses have picked up the residue of his nostalgia powers. The Red Bee’s true origin and powers remain a mystery to the LMB, and his biology even moreso. Nostalgia sets in…*
Mmmmm…
Originally posted by The Riddler:
<span style="font-size: 24px;">?</span>
From Real Gear Garb
To Ungrotty Grotto
"From 1958 to NOW"
Began the motto
<span style="font-size: 24px;">?</span>
*The Riddler, relatively unnoticed until now, watches not too far away. The crisis has left him free to walkabout, with scarcely any LMBers not directly involved in various problems. He approaches the Bee*
*The Red Bee stirs*
I…I remember. Ah, nostalgia. For the good old days, when I gave them true horror, and watch them slowly divide apart. They pulled it together, of course, and worked it out as a team. In a way, I’m directly responsible for that—and I’m thankful too. I love the LMB, of course. I just want them to know fear.
And they will.
AGAIN. *The Red Bee looks directly into the Riddler’s smiling face.*
This story is not quite
complicated enough. Let’s make it worse.
<grin>
<laughs maniacally>
Heeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheehee...
Hrun staggers from the command centre, the effects of a tick infestation still making him a little woozy.
Holding his hands over his ears,
"Shut up little green one"
And he lands a huge uppercut on the Riddlers chin knocking him up and out of the cell through a wall.
"Hrun have headache"
Hey, Hrun! How'd you get out of Invisible Brainiac's force-shield? You're supposed to be teaming up with me and him as we approach the Mother-Of-All-Shadows...
LAM administers his quick hangover "remedy"...
Hrun shakes his head as the hangover cure works.
"LAM tis thou. How did we get here? I think those ticks are to blame. As dimension hopping parasites they seem to leech some things into us as well taking our memories. I seem to have dimesion hopping powers or at least thread hopping powers for a short while"
"Quick we need to find Invisible Brainiac, where is he"
Back in outer space, most likely, wondering where the heck we got to...so we have to teleport back where we came from - are you ready, Hrun?
Will there be maidens a plenty, will there be mead to drink and vension to eat. shall my axe sing as it exhults in the joy of battle?
Then Hrun is ready
LAM remarks, with wry bemusement:
"When the crisis has passed, Hrun, then you can return to your ravaging ways...Here we go...
*Appearing before a dumbfounded IB*
"Holy smokes, you guys", He exclaimed, "I just about gave up on you...I have the Mother-Of-All-Shadows at bay for the time being"
LAM says: "Good work, IB...just in time for me to make sure the MOAS is tucked away within one of my quantum freeze whammies"
Hrun pounds his fist against the flexible force-bubble, saying:
"I was dragged away by false promises...where be the nubile wenches at my beck and call?"
Royal Inquisitor,
Rumor is that you've decided to play it straight and work on the side of the LMB. Pity for you. We are all about enjoy a bit of fun, of the variety that you once enjoyed. The offer is there to join us.
Your refusal, of course, will be our cue to bring about the murder of Quislet, Esq. The decision is on you...but you've never had a problem with blood on your hands before.
- The Red Bee.
PS- We'll make sure it's brutal
I heard it all, you miscreant!
I will fly off now to warn my good buddy, Quis!
So there!
*choke*
(What do I do, now? I can't let them hurt Quis...do I even really like the LMB? Why did such a decision have to come now, so close to happiness?)
Quis, I...I think we need to be extra vigilant. I'm going to grab my atomic axe, in case we need it...
Roy,
Don't worry. Red Bee's threats are hollow. I know I make a big target right now, but that still won't help the Red Bee.
You're the perfect size to swat an insect, Quislet dear...
A green mist suddenly starts to rise and engulf the main office. With a brilliant flash it dissipates, revealing Vee and the others that had been on the asteroid.
Well, we're here. Roy, fill me in on what is going on that led to your urgent OmniCom message.
Quis? What the heck happened to you my friend?
<from nowhere an info panel appears on Cobie's desk. It smells slightly of sulphur>
To: Cobalt Kid
From: Dedman; security officer
VERY IMPORTANT
CODE MAUVE SECURITY: EVEN YOU SHOULDN'T READ THIS
Hey Cobie!!!
We seem to have a bit of a problem with Glamour Puss. He has become Gay-clypso and is either trying to kill all magic users or turn them gay (I'm not entirely clear on that bit).
Anywho, Pagan Lass is giving him a spanking right now but i don't expect that to last much long, though it did give me time to send this message.
Ol' Glamour Puss doesn't seem to realize my link with the Poltergiest Area is magical in nature. Perhaps we can use this to our advantage?
Well thats it for my report. Until we come up with something better, we must battle this fiend.
Dedman
<Villains burst through the gates of the Security Office, catching Quislet, Esq. and the Royal Inquisitor by surprise. Even more surprising is that they are not the target—the statue of the Emerald Empress is.
Somewhere not so far away, the Red Bee and the Riddler are laughing.>
Bah! Quis, it is time to act! Let’s follow these villains back to their base!
Roy, at my current height, they are sure to see us following them.
*Starts gathering villians up in my hands*
Red Bee did you really think you would be able to get away with something as despicable as stealing, or worse yet, destroying the statue of the dear friend, the Emerald Empress?
Didn't know we were back either did you?
Green tendrils immediately begin snaking out and capturing escaped villains in their grip
Ohmygod, Mr. Cobalt, I'm leaving you this message cause I know you're out saving the universe or some such junk, but Uncle Spacey, before he died, you know, kinda promised me that I could work at the Security Office someday.
So I'm moving into his office. Ohmygod, I'm your new Assistant Chief of Security! ***Squeal of Pure Delight!***
'Kay? Bye!
Originally posted by Everyday Girl:
Ohmygod, Mr. Cobalt, I'm leaving you this message cause I know you're out saving the universe or some such junk, but Uncle Spacey, before he died, you know, kinda promised me that I could work at the Security Office someday.
So I'm moving into his office. Ohmygod, I'm your new Assistant Chief of Security! ***Squeal of Pure Delight!***
'Kay? Bye!
I'd be delighted to have you.
Er, not sure about Assistant Chief, but we can, er, work something out.
I think I owe you a hug when I return, for taking care of the Red Bee. Anything to remind me of Space Ranger (and charging in and blasting the Red Bee with a Nine qualifies) will be needed around here...
Now that I am me, do I get a real job now?
Theresa,
If Cobie doesn't want you, I could hire you as a private investigator for my law office.
Sure Terry!
High Priestess Viviane's old job of Captain, Mystic Crimes Division, is currently vacant. Would you like to have that position?
BTW--do your old characters fit into the continuity of your current character? Were you all of them? (Personnal curiousity
)
Originally posted by Quislet, Esq.:
Theresa,
If Cobie doesn't want you, I could hire you are my private investigator for my law office.
Quis, if you fill this position, let me know and I'll always be ready to work with whoever you've got if they need access to stuff.
Originally posted by Quislet, Esq.:
Theresa,
If Cobie doesn't want you, I could hire you as a private investigator for my law office.
A PI, I'd be my own boss, except you would pay me.
Cobie, keep it on back burner, while I explore a little 'kay.
I have a reason of being me. PM and I'll tell you.
Cobie,
Who said I (and my employees and independent contractors) don't already have complete access to the Security Office data base and computers?
Theresa,
The pay rate is small, but you get to keep anything valuable that you find and isn't nailed down (and anything that can be pried loose, isn't nailed down) Plus you get to look into all the juicy gossip and dealings around.
Small, how small?
I can still go shopping and pay the bills, right?
Yes. I also have an apartment in the hip section of town for your use. Rent free of course.
Theresa,
I'll be your employer, not your mother. You are an adult. You can have whomever you want over at any time. You, of course, will be responsible for any damages and for the behavior of any of your guests.
Welcome to Quislet Esq's Super Law Office of Space!
I'll let you spend the weekend getting settled into the apartment. Monday, drop by the office and we'll see if there is anything for you to investigate.
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
Originally posted by Everyday Girl:
[b]Ohmygod, Mr. Cobalt, I'm leaving you this message cause I know you're out saving the universe or some such junk, but Uncle Spacey, before he died, you know, kinda promised me that I could work at the Security Office someday.
So I'm moving into his office. Ohmygod, I'm your new Assistant Chief of Security! ***Squeal of Pure Delight!***
'Kay? Bye!
Er, not sure about Assistant Chief, but we can, er, work something out.
I think I owe you a hug when I return, for taking care of the Red Bee. Anything to remind me of Space Ranger (and charging in and blasting the Red Bee with a Nine qualifies) will be needed around here... [/b]Y'know Uncle Spacey told me what a great kidder you are.
And he also told me all about File 247... You remember File 247, don't you?
So Mr. Security Chief for Life, Cobalt Kid, it turns out that the Assistant Security Chief position is Hereditary, And that I am the Space Ranger's Heir. And effective imediately I am claiming my enheritance.
So, I'll just go back to re-decorating my office and later you and I will have a little chat about duties and investigations and File 247.
'Kay, Bye!
Originally posted by Quislet, Esq.:
Welcome to Quislet Esq's Super Law Office of Space!
I'll let you spend the weekend getting settled into the apartment. Monday, drop by the office and we'll see if there is anything for you to investigate.
This require shopping, oh and a spell!
(sends a white beam of energy that changes the humble apartment into a grand suite)
Ok, the P.I. business is really slow, do you still want to offer me Viv's old position, Cobalt Kid?
(opens blouse to expose more clevage and bats her eyelashes)
That technique has proven to be negociation gold in this office time and time again. And we could use a head of our magical crimes department, so you're hired! Shall we negociate the terms of your contract in the hot tub with some drinks?
(Strictly business in there, I assure you...)
I could use a job and some shameless resume padding. I'm really good at frisking; besides, I have some pictures of you and a group of farm animals in this envelope that I've addressed to the New York Times.
I thought the slogan of Cobalt's Office of Security was "Pants at Half Mast"!
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
That technique has proven to be negociation gold in this office time and time again. And we could use a head of our magical crimes department, so you're hired! Shall we negociate the terms of your contract in the hot tub with some drinks?
(Strictly business in there, I assure you...)
(zaps in bikini and margaritas)
I want a lot of money!
Getting a raise will be no problem at all!
Ohmygod, Hi Miss Teresa, nice bikini.
I hate to interupt Mr. Cobalt, but your new assistant, My Whee Fem, just called from Dr. One's office and he needs to see you like right now.
It's like something about your allergies to latex and penicillin, and a Public Health Notice that he needs names and phone numbers for...
Hm...this sounds like something my healing powers might be able to solve. Nothing like a little healing to start the day, as Marvin Gaye used to say.
So like, do I now have some authorita, now?
Cobie?
I'm sure you and the Royal twins felt it, but just to be sure you know, the Crisis is finally over. The Anti-Moderator is no more. I'll fill you in on the details later but first I have a memorial service to plan.
The Empress' sacrifice must be acknowledged and honored.
I expect that you will want to have a few minutes to eulogize her since she was a long time member of your staff.
The memorial will take place later today in Founders Square. I'll see you and the rest of her friends there. Please spread the word.
I will and thanks Vee. I did indeed feel it and am glad reality is restored to normal.
Thanks for giving me the opportunity to say a few words about Sarya, I'd very much like that.
Originally posted by Tempest:
So like, do I now have some authorita, now?
Ohmygod, Not until you like
put some clothes on.
Then you can like be the new
Receptionist.
Originally posted by Everyday Girl:
Originally posted by Tempest:
[b] So like, do I now have some authorita, now?
Then you can like be the new Receptionist.[/b](Puts on new uniform)
Isn't Space Ranger off dead somewhere?
Well, to be sure there isn't too much authority, and it'd have to be cleared by the Security Committee, a la the LMB Constitution.
In the meantime, you are in charge of all mystical crimes and are the lead investigator there. You have all the authority you need over the support staff. You can bring in other mystics to help you, but they won't be official security officers, as all of them must be approved by Matlock (new deputy security chief) and myself. I like your ideas of a mystic crimes division...you can run it however you see fit, with major decisions being reached by the top brass.
The Mystic Crimes Division budget that I've set, which you'll see, will be more than enough to meet your satisfaction. We have constant money coming in from a variety of sources.
Glad to know all that porn on the 14th floor has been cleaned out. We had trouble finding a place for it once we confiscated the infamous 'Poverty Ranch' along the dessert area.
Ohmygod, and in your spare time, which I'm like sure that almost all of your time will be, spare that is, or maybe wasted, but anyway in your spare time you can answer the phone and file.
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
Well, to be sure there isn't too much authority, and it'd have to be cleared by the Security Committee, a la the LMB Constitution.
In the meantime, you are in charge of all mystical crimes and are the lead investigator there. You have all the authority you need over the support staff. You can bring in other mystics to help you, but they won't be official security officers, as all of them must be approved by Matlock (new deputy security chief) and myself. I like your ideas of a mystic crimes division...you can run it however you see fit, with major decisions being reached by the top brass.
The Mystic Crimes Division budget that I've set, which you'll see, will be more than enough to meet your satisfaction. We have constant money coming in from a variety of sources.
Glad to know all that porn on the 14th floor has been cleaned out. We had trouble finding a place for it once we confiscated the infamous 'Poverty Ranch' along the dessert area.
The members of the Mystic Guard are hired by me for the Mystic Crime Division, hence they are not actually Security Officers, just subsets. But seeing as they are performing a service for us, they have to be paid. I just needed the floor for my books and stuff and thought, "heck, why not move the whole department there, more room for me."
Originally posted by Everyday Girl:
Ohmygod, and in your spare time, which I'm like sure that almost all of your time will be, spare that is, or maybe wasted, but anyway in your spare time you can answer the phone and file.
Well, when Jailbait Lass can't get the phone, you'll have to get it, dearie, as I am not longer on the main level, but on level 14. Besides, I spend most of time not making Everyday Girl micros.
[hangs up wanted poster prominently on the wall]
![[Linked Image]](http://www.legionworld.net/images/scott/wanted.jpg)
Ohmygod!
It sure looks like a mystic (or maybe mythic) crime to me.
Let's all like stand back while Tem-Pest makes her first arrest.
Or, not a the case may be...
Of course all Security Officers realize this is just a ruse to lure out some horrendous criminal that the LW general populice has not been informed about, in case of a world wide panic.
We should definately frame it though
So, like I don't have to arrest anyone right, because I was like, "I'm in charge of the Mystic Crime Division, this doesn't have to do anything with my department, get someone else to clean up your messes."
Then my rant some how turned into me telling Everyday Girl that we were going to roshambo.
Jeepers! Glad that's resolved! Now you can assign Tempest to handle the upsurge of jaywalking on Legion Plaza!
Thanks for the input Eryk!
And the jaywalking is apparently being done by drunken, giggly gnomes, that cast spells!
This is right up Tempest's alley!
Those drunken, spellcasting, giggly gnomes sure are a nuisance! Why just the other day one of them magically replaced all the salt in Fat Cramer's salt-shaker with pepper, and all her pepper with salt!
There are an estimated 15 dead slugs because of it, including the Slug-Gender Reversal Stereotype of the Slug LMB, from "To Catch a Space-Thief"!
That counts as magical murder and mayhem in my book!
Er, why people wanted to put pepper on slugs is beyond me though...
Why, because they were trying to.... jillikers! I can't think of any plausible explanations either!
Obviously, it must have been some type of super-slug science that involves the imps from the 5th dimension! It makes sense, considering that pepper to them is the same as intense radioactivity to us humans!
Oh, I always forget about pepper being like intense radioactivity to imps from the 5th dimension! No doubt they had employed the slugs in their scientific experiments, expecting them to be immune to the pepper radiation, only to be shocked when their subjects shrivelled up a died as a result of the substituted salt!
I now fear that the guilt the imps are feeling, unkowingly being responsible for multiple homicides, may be enough to push them over the edge.
The subsequent Imp/Gnome War will be bloody and horrific!
I'm only now realizing the full implications! It might be necessary for a full code red LMB alert!
Originally posted by Tempest:
Then my rant some how turned into me telling Everyday Girl that we were going to roshambo.
I'm not sure what that means, but i'm securing the pay-per-view rights just in case.
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
The subsequent Imp/Gnome War will be bloody and horrific!
OK.
So we end up with fewer Imps and Gnomes.
How exactly do we lose here?
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
I'm only now realizing the full implications! It might be necessary for a full code red LMB alert![/QB]
People, calm down!
Everyone in the magical world know that slugs like pepper because it is an aphrodisiac to their kind, they can't mate without.
I have already begun investigating the gnomes, I have activated the mystic
bananaus bagus spell, which will sober them and allow me to converse with some non-inebriated gnomes and settle this disput.
ew....i think i just stepped in imp poo!
Originally posted by disaster boy:
ew....i think i just stepped in imp poo!
fallout from the recent LMB Infinite Crisis?
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
Of course all Security Officers realize this is just a ruse to lure out some horrendous criminal that the LW general populice has not been informed about, in case of a world wide panic.
Don't be fooled, people! Clearly this Cobalt Kid is deviously trying to pull one over on us. Maybe he's an evil twin, clone, or under the pernicious influence of Phineas B. Fuddle!
Just to be on the the safe side, I'll have to restrain you.
[puts handcuffs on Cobalt Kid]
*CLICK*
(puts handcuffs on STU)
You are being too much of an instigator. And that man is my "boss."
*CLICK*
<magnetically rips handcuffs off>
OK, everyone, let's settle down! We've got a full on Gnome/Imp War brewing and now isn't the time for in-fighting.
(Thanks Tempest!)
We're not all Security Officers, but as LMBers, we can split into two groups: Stu, Outdoor Miner, LAM, Disaster Boy and EDE in one group, and the other with me, Tempest, Everyday Girl, Jailbait Lass and possibly Arachne, Harbinger, Fat Cramer, Spacey and Crujeckie too.
Ohmygod, I wanna go with that ultra-cute Icon, Mr. STU, if you don't mind Mr. Cobalt.
And Anyway I don't think I'd be of any help with the Menage-a-Idonthavethatmanyfingers, you're obviously planning by taking almost every female LMBPer with you...
I'm just not that kind of girl.
Hm, I'm not sure I have any idea to what you're referring to EG, but I think it can be arranged.
A little advice...I heard around the bath houses that Stu's nickname is "Mr. French Tickler"...take that as it is...
Ohmygod, Mr. Cobalt, I'm not French but being around Mr. STU does tickle me...
That is what you meant,
Isn't It?
Of course, of course. I would never imply anything at all inappropriate.
And if you think he's good-looking now, wait until you meet StuChiaElephant! That boy's snout makes other female elephants giddy with delight!
OH.MY.GOD!
Ohwaitaminute, "other female elephants"?? are you trying to like tell me something here Mr. Cobalt?
Is there something I should know about the Ultra-Cute Icon that is Mr. STU?
Um...I...I better not say anymore.
<overly dramatic look from side to side>
Let's say he's lived a very looong life, and has made sure he hasn't gotten bored with that aspect of living...
Ohmygod, you mean he's like over thirty????
I knew he was old, but that's like ancient!
But he's still like Ultra-Cute and an Icon, and it's not that much older than I thought he was.
30? If you mean 30 centuries, you might be more accurate.
Still, he looks about mid-20's, and even younger when he's in puppy form. We're still not sure if he started as a human and can change into animals, or vice versa though, so I'd get vaccinated first, to be on the safe side.
Ohmygod, You're just messin' with me now, I can tell. Gram said she's known Mr. STU since he was just a wee little thing, and even she's not that old.
[cute smile] I think you're jealous! [/cute smile]
Ohmygod, I forgot to tell you that I knew he can change into animals.
I want him to become STUPony...
Er, has your gram told you where she met the old timer? Pre-Egypt, I think, although your gram doesn't look a day over 20. If you thought 30 was old (and trust me--it is!), 300,000 is ancient.
STUPony will be tons of fun, I'm sure, especially since he likes being rode all the time, but I'd watch out for STUDonkey...that's when horny become ornery.
Ohmygod, 300,000? But, wouldn't that like make Mr. STU God-Like like?
OhDearHeavens, it isn't enough that he's like Ultra-Cute and an Icon, now I find out he's like an ancient god or something!
[earsplitting squeal of pure delight!]
[SWOONS, gracefully]
Hm, you may be on to something. Just remember though, that most ancient gods are not loving and caring gods, but vengeful and angry gods, that reign down plagues upon people, by killing their first borns and turning them to salt.
Who knows you many young ladies Stu has turned to salt over the years? Not to mention the locusts and frogs that fell from the skies...most likely STULocust and STUFrog were there too. And if you think a princess kissing a frog is romantic, wait until you've never seen STUPoisonous Toad before...
[Unswoons, gracefully, of course]
Ohmygod, I know an ancient god personally, you know, Bast, You Know, and she's very loving and caring, except if you piss her off.
And anyway STU isn't like that! He's Ultra-Cute, and an Icon and God-Like! He's not all stinky and mean and he'd never turn me into a pillar of salt.
You're just jealous 'cuz he's a bigger Icon than you.
And Cuter, and
<span style="font-size: 30px;">Much More STUDLIER</span>.
SO THERE!!!
I remember that one time, when I was STUsheep and Cobie was drunk. Believe, me, I ran for my life...!!!
(And you can't spell "stud" without STU...
)
There is no Gnome/Imp war brewing, I have it under control, now respect my authorita!!!
Update:
I dealt with the Gnomes, it seems Cobalt Kid stepped on one of them when he was drunk one night. So, they decided to use their powers against Legion Worlders. They get drunk before casting spells because that increases their coordination skills.
Once I explained this to the Imps, they relized that they didn't have any reason to get so fussy and have gone back to their normal ways.
Crisis Averted!
Ohmygod, So, like you you want us to pay you for going out and getting hammered with a bunch of short guys.
Has anyone seen Cobie lately?
*giggle*
Shhh, quiet down Jailbait Lass <shifts self on couch>
Originally posted by Everyday Girl:
Ohmygod, So, like you you want us to pay you for going out and getting hammered with a bunch of short guys.
Well, if this is directed at me, you obvious didn't understand what I said. So, Everyday *****, burn in hell.
[EDITED!]
Terry, that's not very nice.
NO!!!
Heidi can blow her up now and I could care less, I refuse to let people treat me like a piece of crap. I'M A PERSON, DAMMIT!!! I DESERVE TO BE TREATED WITH A LITTLE BIT OF RESPECT!!! I'M NOT A RECEPTIONIST, OR SOMEONE'S DAMN SECRETARY!!! <span style="font-size: 18px;">I'M THE HEAD OF A DEPARTMENT!!!</span>
Wow! That's a lot of...passion, but I was just water scrying and just got some major negative magic mojo happening on Legion World.
We should go try to stop this evil thing, right Terry?
Yeah, let's go, you can scorch her later.
Ohmygod, I'm like, so scared!
Yeah, Yeah, Terry Tem-Pest in a Teacup, you're the Head of the Mythic Crimes Department. I knew that, do I pass your little test?
Now here's one for you, I'm the Assistant Chief of Security, I'm your BOSS! And I'm like totally unimpressed with your Department.
And what's this voucher you put in to pay for five barrels of Mead and a roast suckling pig? You want to go out and get hammered with a bunch of short & hairy guys, do it on your own dime.
So like stick that in your cauldron and like boil it.
Edited by Everyday Girl to add the following disclamer:
As far as I was concerned, this was just more MMB Nonsense Roleplaying, fun but signifying nothing. If it's somehow become personal, then Terry I'm Sorry, it was not meant that way. The only reason I didn't edit out my posts is the fact that doing that could create the false impression that Terry was ranting at nothing. I did unintentionaly provoke her.
Originally posted by Everyday Girl:
Ohmygod, I'm like, so scared!
Yeah, Yeah, Terry Tem-Pest in a Teacup, you're the Head of the Mythic Crimes Department. I knew that, do I pass your little test?
Now here's one for you, I'm the Assistant Chief of Security, I'm your BOSS! And I'm like totally unimpressed with your Department.
And what's this voucher you put in to pay for five barrels of Mead and a roast suckling pig? You want to go out and get hammered with a bunch of short & hairy guys, do it on your own dime.
So like stick that in your cauldron and like boil it.
I just don't have the nerve anymore to do this, everyone one of your alts gives me crap, I told you to lay off but you didn't listen, I thought my little rant would help, but no. You just keep harking on me, well at least I can log off.
Originally posted by Tempest:
I thought my little rant would help, but no.
Reboot say, calling someone "retard" never help.
No, it doesn't. It also reflects poorly on the person who says it.
If there is a problem, please contact a moderator outside this situation. This sounds like it's gone beyond roleplaying.
PS: those who underestimate or denigrate receptionists and secretaries will come to regret it -- sooner or later.
**Out of thread observation (not meant to be directed at anyone in particular**I think it's important to remember that, even though we all role play to a certain extent, we are still real people behind the characters. Sometimes even comments that are made in fun can be hurtful to the person behind the scenes.
If your character is going to be regularly antagonistic towards another person's character, perhaps it would be prudent to PM that person ahead of time, both to let them know that it's all being done in fun and to be sure that they are alright with it. If they know that it's being done in fun, perhaps they can also help think of a direction to take it, thereby making it all more fun.
After all, I like to think that I'm reasonably easy going in the role playing around here, but I wouldn't like to have someone repeatedly verbally attack me.
Just something to think about
Can't we all just get along?
[intercom] Jailbait Lass, let me know when the commotion passes [/intercom]
<chug!>
Originally posted by Kent Shakespeare:
Can't we all just get along?
With the crap going on at work, with my family and with school and friends, I just can't find the patience to be humble here, not right now. As far as I know, I need at least a weeks break from here.
[intercom] Ohmygod, Mr. Cobalt, did I leave my bunny slippers in your office? [/intercom]
Those were bunny slippers? I thought we were being invaded by weird Grant Morrisonesque extradimensional foes. I strangled them with Transindental Floss and zapped them into the Shimmering Zone.
Ohmygod, Mr. Shakyrear,
I like admit they were a little oversized but...
Er...EG, don't let your gramps here about you leaving your slippers in my office, he might suspect, er, I mean, get the wrong idea about something.
(To be honest, it's not him I'm worried about, it's your GRAMS!)
That's why I have Cobie Cakes visit me in MY quarters
But is Cobie safe from Spellbinder?
But are we safe from an impending love triangle? That's the important question.
Ohmygod, Miss Arachne that's such a silly idea. Mr. Cobalt is my boss at the Security Office and we're just friends. Just 'cuz he acts like a big cuddle bear sometimes doesn't like mean anything. He's just a friendly kind of guy.
You do realize we all know you're not that naive, right?
The real question is what the demon-spawn offspring will do.
Ohmygod, well maybe I'm not quite as spacey as I sometimes like act but Mr. Cobalt is a nice guy who would never try to force me into a situation I'm not ready for.
And yes I know what would happen if I ever gave him the "green light" but I don't think I'm ready for that yet.
And he knows I'm always armed, the guns are always there even if he doesn't know where I keep them.
From what I have seen of Ev-Girl's capabilities, especially during the Space Ranger-Red Bee revenge stand-off, Tamper Lad, she can handle herself just fine! I was very impressed!
Originally posted by Tamper Lad:
The real question is what the demon-spawn offspring will do.
Ohmygod, Mr. Tamper, this girl isn't like going down that road. No Demon Spawn Offspring for me.
But, in my family that stuff usually skips a generation...
Your auntie Pagan Lass looks very formidable, Ev-Girl!
Originally posted by legionadventureman:
Your auntie Pagan Lass looks very formidable, Ev-Girl!
Ohmygod, Gram (not Aunt) can be a little scary sometimes, but she's really a big softie.
At least to me...
Well, happy holidays to you...
Originally posted by legionadventureman:
Your auntie Pagan Lass looks very formidable, Ev-Girl!
Pagan Lass one time erected a second Statue of Cobalt Kid, just to get back at Abin. In my book, that makes her tops!
Luckily, Psyonian physiology prevents me from contracting any known STD. Also, it prevents me from getting impregnated by any non-Psyonian.
Really a handy thing to have... especially around Cobie Cakes
My own Ggrrggian immunity to STDs makes our pairing seem like fate determined it, in my mind!
Originally posted by Spellbinder:
Luckily, Psyonian physiology prevents me from contracting any known STD. Also, it prevents me from getting impregnated by any non-Psyonian.
Really a handy thing to have... especially around Cobie Cakes Ohmygod, and like Loser, and Kent, and Invisible Brainiac, and every other straight guy on Legion World.
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
My own Ggrrggian immunity to STDs makes our pairing seem like fate determined it, in my mind!
I think our fathers might argue with fate on that point, dear
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
My own Ggrrggian immunity to STDs makes our pairing seem like fate determined it, in my mind!
Ohmygod, like lips that continue to touch a certain Pysonian shall like never touch mine.
Not that our relationship was ever gonna be more than strictly professional, anyway!
Originally posted by Everyday Girl:
Ohmygod, and like Loser, and Kent, and Invisible Brainiac, and every other straight guy on Legion World. Gay men love me too, dear
And it's important to remember that one does not have to have a sexual relationship with every suitor who knocks on your door, dear. I have many men pursuing my attentions, but I can count my intimate partners on one hand
Originally posted by Spellbinder:
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
[b] My own Ggrrggian immunity to STDs makes our pairing seem like fate determined it, in my mind!
Just because my father helped lead a huge invasion against your father's kingdom? Or it the fact that most father's across the galaxy don't want me in five planet's reach of their daguthers?
Too bad for them you and I aren't allowed at our home planets at the moment, are spending our time together on LW...
Originally posted by Everyday Girl:
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
[b] My own Ggrrggian immunity to STDs makes our pairing seem like fate determined it, in my mind!
Not that our relationship was ever gonna be more than strictly professional, anyway![/b]Well, in that case, there's no need to worry about those things. Why don't you come around my desk and sit right next to me, so we can go over these databases in detail. Since there's no worry about lips touching, I'll just get a little closer and show you some security counter measures...wow, you smell really good, EG...
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
Pagan Lass one time erected a second Statue of Cobalt Kid, just to get back at Abin. In my book, that makes her tops!
I don't think I ever gave you back all the gravel from that statue. Should I let you have it?
Ohmygod, How many... Um... I mean... I thought Pysonians only had five fingers.
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
Originally posted by Everyday Girl:
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
[b] My own Ggrrggian immunity to STDs makes our pairing seem like fate determined it, in my mind!
Not that our relationship was ever gonna be more than strictly professional, anyway![/b]Well, in that case, there's no need to worry about those things. Why don't you come around my desk and sit right next to me, so we can go over these databases in detail. Since there's no worry about lips touching, I'll just get a little closer and show you some security counter measures...wow, you smell really good, EG... [/QB]
Ohmygod, so what does this button right here do?
And why do you smell like cheap imitation french perfume?
Originally posted by Everyday Girl:
Ohmygod, so what does this button right here do?
That activates the Cobalt Amoeba protocol. If you touched it, you'd turn him back into an ameoba again
Originally posted by Reboot:
Originally posted by Everyday Girl:
[b]Ohmygod, so what does this button right here do?
Ohmygod, That is so Kewl! Thanks Mr. Reboot! You're such a sweetie!
I like working in the Security Office more and more each day.
Originally posted by Reboot:
That activates the Cobalt Amoeba protocol. If you touched it, you'd turn him back into an ameoba again Oh dear, that could be almost as tempting as blowing up statues...
Hmmmm... You just might be on to something there Arachne...
Cobalt, while I appreciate your efforts in helping my Granddaughter find her way here on Legion World, I find that I cannot tolerate her recent attitude towards some of Legion World's citizens, including my good friend Spellbinder. Therefore, she has been grounded until she proves to me and her Grandfather that she can behave in a manner more suited for adult society.
I realize that this will cause undue hardship for your staff in the Security Office during the holidays, so with your consent I will fill in as Assistant Chief of Security for the duration.
You do agree, Cobie, don’t you?
Oh, this is going to be fun.
Originally posted by Arachne:
Oh, this is going to be fun. Define "fun"
and how will this differ from all the other "security" antics we've seen?
Originally posted by Spellbinder:
Luckily, Psyonian physiology prevents me from contracting any known STD. Also, it prevents me from getting impregnated by any non-Psyonian.
Really a handy thing to have... especially around Cobie Cakes Your fashion sense is impeccable, Cru...who is your dress designer - Zaton Glissand?
The Office of Security's "Most Wanted" poster:
![[Linked Image]](http://img235.imageshack.us/img235/6008/pd20051206031bh.th.jpg)
Originally posted by Pagan Lass:
Cobalt, while I appreciate your efforts in helping my Granddaughter find her way here on Legion World, I find that I cannot tolerate her recent attitude towards some of Legion World's citizens, including my good friend Spellbinder. Therefore, she has been grounded until she proves to me and her Grandfather that she can behave in a manner more suited for adult society.
I realize that this will cause undue hardship for your staff in the Security Office during the holidays, so with your consent I will fill in as Assistant Chief of Security for the duration.
You do agree, Cobie, don’t you?
Mm...Pagan Lass
Of course, I agree with you. I've often found our motives have been similar in the past, and I'm not going to be the one to tell you you can't work here
I will, of course, out of professional courtesy and out of my great, well-documented friendship with Abin, try my best not to flirt with you. On that note, the hours here can be long and hard, but the payoff will be pretty exciting.
So...some security office updates:
Co Deputy Chiefs of Security- Pagan Lass (per the "Space Ranger Clause" - that a member of the House of Quank will be Deputy Chief to honor the great hero Space Ranger).
- Matlock (promoted following 'LMB Infinite Crisis')
Senior Security Officer- Invisible Brainiac (promoted following his bravery and cool-headedness during LMB Infinite Crisis)
Bodyguard to the Chief of SecurityArachne (complete with massive pay increase, to safeguard the well being of the most legendary of all posters)
De-tached Security detail- Everyday Girl, until she has further consent from her Gram and Gramps.
Originally posted by Reboot:
Originally posted by Everyday Girl:
[b]Ohmygod, so what does this button right here do?
I have, of course, had this changed from the old ameoba protocols. Unfortunately, it has something to do with random LMBers, denizens of LW and security officers having their genders reversed, so we'll have to work on getting that fixed.
Originally posted by Fat Cramer:
The Office of Security's "Most Wanted" poster:
This seems to be a case that is very important to me, so I will handle this one personally.
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
Mm...Pagan Lass
Of course, I agree with you. I've often found our motives have been similar in the past, and I'm not going to be the one to tell you you can't work here I will, of course, out of professional courtesy and out of my great, well-documented friendship with Abin, try my best not to flirt with you. On that note, the hours here can be long and hard, but the payoff will be pretty exciting.
So...some security office updates:
[b]Co Deputy Chiefs of Security- Pagan Lass (per the "Space Ranger Clause" - that a member of the House of Quank will be Deputy Chief to honor the great hero Space Ranger).
- Matlock (promoted following 'LMB Infinite Crisis')
Senior Security Officer- Invisible Brainiac (promoted following his bravery and cool-headedness during LMB Infinite Crisis)
Bodyguard to the Chief of SecurityArachne (complete with massive pay increase, to safeguard the well being of the most legendary of all posters)
De-tached Security detail- Everyday Girl, until she has further consent from her Gram and Gramps. [/b]
Thank you Cobalt, I knew we wouldn't have any problem coming to a reasonable understanding.
And in light of the above T.O. I've taken the liberty of posting a few
confidential Security Office Notices. The first details the current list of restraining orders issued against you by the parents of teen-aged girls here on Legion World,
you'll notice that there's a new one on the list. Your new bodyguard, Arachne, who by the way has my full faith and confidence, has a copy also and will ensure, as part of her official duties, that you never (
inadvertantly, of course ) violate any of them.
I'd also like to publicly congratulate both Matlock and Invisible Brainiac on their well deserved
and overdue promotions.
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
Originally posted by Reboot:
[b] [QUOTE]Originally posted by Everyday Girl:
[b]Ohmygod, so what does this button right here do?
That activates the Cobalt Amoeba protocol. If you touched it, you'd turn him back into an ameoba again
[/b]
[/b]Cobalt, The spell I used in an attempt to fix that button only restored it to it's original condition. Also, It seems to be immutable now.
I'm soooo sorry for that, Chief!So because it's so dangerous to you, I've erected a Magical Shield over it that only I (and most likely, STU) can penetrate. That should be enough protection.
We all know I'd never hold something like that over your head.
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Fat Cramer:
[b]The Office of Security's "Most Wanted" poster:
Ummm... Chief Cobalt, check that list of restraining orders. It would be unwise for you to
handle this case.
So, I've reassigned it to Invisible Brainiac. I'm confident that he will bring it to a swift conclusion.
Originally posted by Pagan Lass:
Your new bodyguard, Arachne, who by the way has my full faith and confidence, has a copy also and will ensure, as part of her official duties, that you never (inadvertantly, of course ) violate any of them.
Hmm, there might be some fin in this "promotion" after all. Of course, one wouldn't want to do anything that would but a crimp in the boss's lifstyle, would one?
Originally posted by Arachne:
Originally posted by Pagan Lass:
[b]
Your new bodyguard, Arachne, who by the way has my full faith and confidence, has a copy also and will ensure, as part of her official duties, that you never (
inadvertantly, of course ) violate any of them.
But of course not, Arachne, of course not, but on the other hand if a loyal and dedicated employee were to intervene and assist the
Boss in carefully thinking through a decision which could have serious consequences to his future health and well being, why that
Boss would have no choice but to handsomely reward such a committed and selfless employee.
Now wouldn't he,
Cobie?
I'm looking at that list right now, and I'm shocked, shocked I tell you, that the Khundian Prime Minister has his daughter on there. I barely got to know her!
Er...I better keep my mouth shut about that one, before everyone starts really earning their pay...
Originally posted by Pagan Lass:
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
[b]
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Fat Cramer:
[b]The Office of Security's "Most Wanted" poster:
This seems to be a case that is very important to me, so I will handle this one personally. [/b]
So, I've reassigned it to Invisible Brainiac. [/b]Which no doubt explains why we haven't seen him in a while.
Cobie dear, if you can spare the time, please drop by my personal quarters. I'm spending the holidays with Crusader and Maxx, and want to ensure that my security is adequate. Now that I am without my Psyonian Guards, I depend on you more than ever to keep an eye on my assets
She wants to see you about a... security breach...
Just don't forget to bring some protection
Cobie, you go on ahead and Pagan Lass, Arachne and I will hang around here and <strike>BURN THIS MOTHER DOWN !!!</strike> keep an eye on things.
....
Party in the squad room guys!
Especialy the alcohol.
This place looks like a bunch of rhinos has been partying here
Yeah...Cobalt's gonna need a REALLY big scoop!
Too bad there's no such thing as rhino litter...
If there was, they'd probably have to bring it in a dump truck...and really, do YOU wanna be the one to tell a Rhino where to take a dump?
Why are all these rhinos passed out in the security office reception area? ABIN!!
You called Cramey? Whew, what the heck is that stench?
Okay, whatever it is, a little Green Energy will clean it up... (I hope)
Luckily Abin comes equipped with a "poo-er ring"
Princess, that was
bad.
But, FUNNY!
If only I was hip to what the "rhino" reference really meant in terms of sexual innuendo...then I could somehow use it on Jailbait Lass when she brings me my morning coffee...
Try a unicorn. That's an old standby for seducing sweet young things.
Whew... My head hurts... Hmmm... Methinks I need to restock Kid Cobalt's Liquor Cabinet, Again.
Let’s see… some Bailey’s, some white zinfandel, a little lite beer (she’ll need to start watching her calories) and a few fruity wines should do it…
Things are so much more peaceful and calm now that she’s here.
Yeah, I noticed that, too.
Yeah, we'll see how quiet and peaceful it is when Lardy and Lash start dropping by on a regular basis to "Visit" with her...
Cobie's done worse.
Usually in public.
I don't know how much more of this I can take. Cobie cleaned up my squad car and I had a good couple years of food wrappers and styrofoam coffee cups and stuff. Now I gotta start all over. And I don't want fresh flowers on my desk!
But they're so good to hide in!
Well, they are if you can change yourself into a spider.
Ack, now I'm going to be creeped out about having spiders in my girly fresh flowers to boot. And I won't even be able to squash 'em since you never know if they're friends or foe.
Who put this coaster under my coffee cup? Seriously, this isn't right.
Originally posted by LARDRHINO:
If there was, they'd probably have to bring it in a dump truck...and really, do YOU wanna be the one to tell a Rhino where to take a dump?
Nope - just as I wouldnt tell King Kong where to do his business...
(Why do I have the urge to buy [i]French Vanilla[i] cream for the Security Office coffee room?)
Arachne, even though I've often admired your stunningness, I've never thought about how cute your shoes were!
(What's going on here? Why do I suddenly want to invite Ms. Matlock over for a Security Office wives day?)
Uh-oh, next she'll be inviting us to a tuperware party.
Darn it my salesforce of perky topheavy bimbos is now unable to meet it's quota. Looks like i'll have to change the training manual.
Page one: When making your sales pitch to a room full of stuffy men bounce up and down in place. They could care less about the cost over-runs when you do this.
Flowers?
Sewing kits?
A clean bathroom?
*choke* What's happened to my beloved security office. Jailbait Lass, get in here quick and help me make a mess of this office.
And I don't even want to hear about the angry daughter of the Khundish ambassador who feels I slighted her by becoming male again...
my boobs are 8000 years old and mummified
mmmmmm... I've always appreciated a large dorsal fin...
they don't come any larger, sister ...
Ohmygod, this place is all dim & dusty... it looks like nobody's been here for months...
I hope that Shark Guy didn't like Chomp on 'Lita.
Lo is still hanging around, she's just been in my office helping me with projects!
The reason its been so quiet is that we've actually been working incredibly hard these last two months! Tons of long-standing problems straitened out. With Arachne as my personal bodyguard I've been able to get a lot of work done (I think she keeps stinging me when my mind wanders off).
As much as I'd like to take all the credit, this is mainly due to the efficiency of Pagan Lass and Matlock as co-Deputy Chiefs and Invisible Brainiac as Senior Security Officer. I think Sarya and Ranger would be proud of how this office has carried on since Infintie Crisis.
EG, I know your gram is a higher up in this organization, but I gladly would welcome you back as well as a Security Officer. As a fellow marksman, I'm impressed with your aim and gun-handling.
Currently, Hrun and Stoopid Cat are away on a secret mission, but I feel that once they return, things should become more interested [insert Security Office foreshadowing music for Miner]
zzz... zzz... mmwha? grrt zmph. zzz... zzzz....
*Ahem*
That office of Head of Magical Crimes Unit is still vacant until a certain Security Officer would like to reopen it...
Well, my butt is looking tighter than ever, it would be a shame not to put it in a uniform...
yyyaaaaaawnn. Hey Viv, just em... Catching up on paperwork. Yeah.
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
With Arachne as my personal bodyguard I've been able to get a lot of work done (I think she keeps stinging me when my mind wanders off).
Be grateful that's all. You don't want to know what I can do with a web.
(...must...be...a...gentleman...)
Well my dear, I have to say I'm intrigued
(...close...enough...)
[Puts a tarantula in the drawer hiding Cobie's sex toys.]
[
I guess when your my bodyguard, its your right when to un-guard my body and remind me why you have that position!
]
Thankfully I keep them all in Miner's liquor cabinet. On second though, is that why he hasn't had a drink lately?
That could put me off drinking.
Ohmygod! Who like changed the locks on my Gun Cabinet?
Gram! That's not like FAIR!
I'll Show HIM Lard Butt!
I guess I gotta like clean out the back room of the Evil Genius Club by hand! (and foot, and elbow, and knee, and...)
What, incidentally, does this office actually secure?
The financial security of the Legion World Prison/Millitary Industrial Complex.
And also the anticipated future destructive potential of Cobie's offspring.
Everything and everyone on Legion World of course! Its a tribute to our hard-working security officers that this Office has famously been responsible for many saves on Legion World.
Er...some have been my off-spring yes, but, we're, uh, not expecting anymore problems of that sort now...[*gulp*...maybe this monogamy thing I have planned might be good for other reasons too?...]
Monogamy?
Whoa! That's one big step for you mister!
I think he meant "monopoly" thing.
So...if Cobie passes go, will he collect 200 dollars?
Nah, we'll just send him straight to jail.
Well, since Viviane is going to take sometime to sort things out with that sister of hers, Morgause, she has instructed that I take her place here at the office till she returns.
Don't worry, my light powers have grown and Viv has been giving us magic lessons since the last time I was here.
Sounds good Pizzazz! You know where the confiscated drugs are, so make yourself at home!
SECURITY! There's a titmouse eating all the maraschino cherries at SHAKES! And he's gone lashgasmic!
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
Sounds good Pizzazz! You know where the confiscated drugs are, so make yourself at home!
What? I'm telling you, I'm not on drugs, my hair just grows this color.
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
A large, extravagant lobby is scene immediately upon entrance, causing many visitors to wonder how in the world did the Office of Security afford such luxury?
Immediately two large statues are seen:
On the right, one of a beautiful woman, with the Emerald Eye hovering next to her. On the bottom of the statue reads: “[b]The Emerald Empress, who reminded us that there is always hope and always a chance to change”.
On the right, a muscular, powerful looking figure stands mightily. On the bottom of the statue reads: “Space Ranger, the bravest of us all, who stood for truth and justice.”
Beyond the statues reads a plaque: The Office of Security, Legion World.
Staff
Chief of Security: Cobalt Kid
Deputy Chief of Security: Matlock
Senior Security Officer : Invisible Brainiac
Captain, Mystic Crimes Division: position currently vacant.
Please note, these Committee members do not have offices in this building unless they are specifically a part of the day to day Security Staff [/b]
AHEM!!
This position has been filled by Viviane, (and me, Pizzazz, during her absence)
Hey Cobes! You still got my Walking Ring around here somewhere? I feel positively naked without it.
So, where is the coffee machine? Here Yellow I found this walking ring in a box out back labled colour crimes/evidence? Know what thats about?
Looks like another day at the Security Office:
![[Linked Image]](http://img229.imageshack.us/img229/7411/tyroc0066zs.th.jpg)
(from Jack Kirby's "Boy's Ranch", printed in The Comics Journal Library - Jack Kirby)
That's Matlock on the piano!
I said come on over baby,
Whole lotta shakin' goin' on!
I said come on over baby,
Baby you can't go wrong!
I ain't fakin!
Whole lotta shakin' goin' on!
heh
When did Elvis Lad go blonde?
btw, no sweat Cobie. I keep my ring coated with a special formula so there are never any recoverable fingerprints...and just try to find my DNA in the Science Police files.
ummm..no, I can't possibly imagine what (ahem) "crimes" that could POSSIBLY be a reference to. Yep, innocent as a suckling babe, honest.
By the way, if you're boosting stuff from the evidence room, don't forget the <strike>kickback</strike> <strike>bribe</strike> <strike>gratuity</strike> charitable donation. Put it in the coffee can under my desk. I'll handle it from there.
Coffee fund, eh?
Ok, where did that walking money wander off too?
Er...we often 'hire' the walking money here at the Security Office. They, er, work on the top floor with Matlock, Pagan Lass and I. Basically, they walk around and come with us to make 'security' purchases.
I am a full supporter in the equal rights for Walking Money movement and their right to work.
(starts playing Pied Piper and leading all the walking money away)
It doesn't matter if you do Kent. It's all been trained to scamper back here 48 hours after being spent (or bamboozled.) I think of it as recycling.
(walks in with a bucket of black paint)
...hmmm consistancy is key....
No thanks, Disaster Boy. I'm goth enough for any room.
Originally posted by matlock:
It doesn't matter if you do Kent. It's all been trained to scamper back here 48 hours after being spent (or bamboozled.) I think of it as recycling.
Don't care. I spent it before it scampered.
Ohmygod, Mr. Shakyrear, if you use one of these special whistles Mr. Cobie has stashed in the third drawer on the left hand side of his desk, the money will scamper back to the location where you like use it.
Oddly enough, Space Tart was not pleased when I used to do that in bed. I thought it was kind of kinky myself...
Sorry. All of this weekends additions to this topic have been lost due to a server glitch.
Due to its instability, this topic will now be closed. Cobie please start a new thread. Thanks!
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