SHAKES Archives II - Legion World

Welcome back to SHAKES. Same old place, same old people, just less baggage. Drinks are still free and always shaken, not stirred.

Well, I sure am going to miss SHAKES... but I know I'll love SHAKES II just as much!

Oops, look like I started a thread for no reason! Well, I'll miss SHAKES, a lot of fine memories there, but SHAKES II will continue on in it's place!

Same old place and people without the long wait after posts? Count me in

How about a drink to celebrate the new reopening?!

I renamed this SHAKES and the former one as SHAKES Archives. That way, it's not like this is a new place.

Give me a Bolt please.

And I can't find what happened but if you see me editing messages in the SHAKES Archive its because I'm finding HTML being used in posts. I don't know why because its being used for quoting and graemlins which it shouldn't.

To celebrate the grand opening, I'll have one of every drink you serve here. (Two of the really good ones.)

Well, I'll celebrate by doing that too then

!!!

Good call on going with just "SHAKES" Semi, this isn't really a new place, so this way it'll feel the same.

Same drinks, same drunks

Here's your Bolt, Scott. Hope you find out what was going on.

STU, one of each for you. But this isn't really a grand opening. It just a continuation.

Cobie, one of everything for you too

Now that Lash can post at SHAKES again (it was too big for him before and took forever to load), I eagerly await for him to join us and start drinking!

Maybe others had the same problem. Shall we expect an influx of new patrons?

I'll have a good old-fashioned ice cold pitcher of beer. The darker the better.

(and yes the old SHAKES left me behind ages ago... I didn't wanna pipe up and appear as if I was peeing on anyone's glee)

That's the one thing we don't shake around here. Tried it once. Got wet. Here's your pitcher of dark beeer Lash. Would you like a glass with that?

A straw, maybe!

It's a big pitcher. I'll give you two straws, and a glass in case someone joins you.

Oh look, we're already on two pages.

Quote

Originally posted by Semi Transparent Fellow:
It's a big pitcher. I'll give you two straws, and a glass in case someone joins you.

Thanks!

I'll join you! The darker the better for me too usually, I'm on a big Bass Ale kick (after a Newcastle kick in the summer)!

This might be the start of a whole new influx of patrons! Here's hoping the group of regulars grows throughout this thread!

Welcome back Lash!

Cobie if you were polite, you'd let Lash share in your Bass Port-a-Keg, which I had delivered to your table earlier today. Don't tell me that's all gone.

Oops, I think it is. It's been a fun day

*HIC*

It's starting to feel like old times around here already...

[Linked Image]

The puppies are back. Looks like one is drinking martinis

Some things never change.

I'll have an Opal Nera.

Here you go!

The first Opal Nera of the new year, and in the new SHAKES!

Hey Do I still have a job here?

I would assume so -- as long as you don't become derelict in your duties as Minister of Domestic Affairs!

Quote

Originally posted by icefire:
Hey Do I still have a job here?

Icey, of course you still have a job here. It's the same place. Same triple marine varnished authentic antique swinging saloon doors.

Hey, Semi's here!

Dude, all of LW has been slower than molasses in January today.

[thinks for a minute]

Well, I guess it is January, after all...

[STU helps himself to a Red Ranger]

I'll just take a hard Lemonade today. I'm still trying to get all of my Legion books together in an electronic format so that's taking up my time. But if you all need anything, just holler. I'll hear you. Eventually.

My I have a Sex on the Beach please?

[hollers] SCOTT!!! [/hollers]

Just wanted to let you know your hard Lemonade's ready. Here ya go!

Here's the Sex you wanted, Danny.

Enjoy!

Thanks Stu! Almost didn't hear you from back in the vault. Got another 6 or 7 issues added to my collection in that time.

Quote

Originally posted by Lightning Lad:
I'll just take a hard Lemonade today. I'm still trying to get all of my Legion books together in an electronic format so that's taking up my time. But if you all need anything, just holler. I'll hear you. Eventually.

Hey LL, presuming you're Garth_Ranzz, you should watch what you're sharing - I tried to d/l a couple of books from you and they were all either incomplete or broken (or both)

Anybody want anything on this fine Sunday afternoon?

Semi, I think I'll have a Bass and a shot of Jameson!

Good to see Scott dropping in here, as well as SoM! Come by more often!

Hopefully Vee will be back to full posting power soon...

I'll have a hot toddy before heading off to bed early tonight...

Hope you didn't catch this flu, STU! Take care of yourself. Take my word for it, you don't want this!

Can't believe i missed the closing of the other thread. I hope we're able to save all of it!

Quote

Originally posted by Varalent:
Hope you didn't catch this flu, STU! Take care of yourself. Take my word for it, you don't want this!

Can't believe i missed the closing of the other thread. I hope we're able to save all of it!

Vee, It's probably dropped at least to page 2 now, but its called SHAKES Archive (Read Only). I locked it after we started losing posts. At one point we lost over a month's worth. Fortunately, Gary was able to restore all but the last half day's posts.

How about a hot whisky with honey? That's a good old fashioned remedy for the flu.

I'll take it! (and I hate whisky ~ but no one said medicine tasted good)

Poor baby. Let me give you a hug. Don't think about doing any work around here. Just take one of the high back wing chairs over there by the fire and I'll bring your "medicine" right over. Would you like a throw blanket to keep you warm?

I hope you get feeling better Vee. I'm sure Semi can make you feel better temporarily anyway.

Guess I'll have a Bolt while I'm here. Really shouldn't seeing how I'm still at work but what the hell. I'm the boss so who's going to report me?

Here's your Bolt, Scott. Why don't you join Vee by the fire.

It is quite cold here today. Thanks Semi. Howdy Vee. How you feeling?

hey Hey HEY!!!!!

Hey, Icefire, welcome back. Haven't seen you around too much. What can I get you. Why don't you go sit with Scott and Vee over there by the fire.

Hey Bro I've been around at some odd times!!!!

Things have been pretty slow in the bar lately. In fact, Legion World has been a bit de-populated during the holidays. If it weren't for STU's post-whoring, it'd be downright lonely in here.

Sorry I'm back now so let the fun BEGIN!!!!

OK, how about a report on your visit to the SHAMELESS HUSSIES BAR down the road.

Quote

Originally posted by Varalent:
I'll take it! (and I hate whisky ~ but no one said medicine tasted good)

Here's a get-well

!

It's the kind of medicine you can never get too much of.

Heya Stu!!!!

Hey STU, how about a cask of whiskey for you?

Gee, I dunno.

What do "post whores" like to drink?

(

)

Quote

Originally posted by STU:
Gee, I dunno.

What do "post whores" like to drink?

(

)

Aw, STU. I didn't mean to insult you. Does this mean you're going to sulk and not post until I catch up with you?

Quote

Originally posted by STU:
Gee, I dunno.

What do "post whores" like to drink?

(

)

Anything he wants!!!!

Well, if post-whores are getting drinks, I might as well join in!

Hey Icey, how's everything going?

Cobie, go join Vee, Scott, Icey, and STU by the fire. I'll bring your Blaster right over.

Sounds good to me Semi! Good to see Legion World so active tonight!

Well, I gotta go now. So enjoy your drinks and help yourselves if you need more.

Bye Bro!!!!!

Later Semi!

Can I get you another drink, Icey? And where did Stu go to?

Sure a beer would be great!!!

Here's your beer, Icey!

Quote

Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
And where did Stu go to?

I was over here in the corner, finishing that cask of whiskey.

I'm back, what can I get you all?

How 'bout something to remind me of the City by the Bay? And a little conversation with a charming bartender...

Something else else to remind you of the City by the Bay? Hmmm. How about a nice glass of Ferrari Carano sauvignon blanc?

Ah! Just the thing! (And much better than sourdough bread...

)

What did you do today STU?

Well, I went back to work. Which completely sucked. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but it was a bit of a shock to the system having to get up early again, after being able to sleep in (at least for an extra hour or so) for a few days straight.

Then I came home, chatted with some friends, and watched TV. Oh, and hung out on LW.

Amazing how similar 2004 is to 2003 so far!

How 'bout you, Semi? How was your day?

I didn't wake up until 7:45 this morning. Then I had to race like crazy to get to work by 9 am. I was 15 minutes late, and no-one was there.

Heh!

Well, sad to say, the workweek is back in force, so I am going to bed early again.

But I'll take this nice glass of hot brandy to enjoy with me...

Night STU. Don't drive. (As if puppies could drive)

(I just curled up at the foot of the roaring fire here at SHAKES last night. Very comfy.

)

Let's raise a toast to Legion World's first six months... here's to many, many more!

I'll toast to that! *joins Stu in a drink and enjoys the warm fire*

And many, many more! (some of us missed the first 5.5 months)

Hey, just so long as you're around for the next six-month anniversary, and the next one, and the next one...

Here's to the Founders for making it all happen!

Gary had the idea and I just helped it along. But its you guys who make this place what it is. Here's to all of you!

No Legion is complete without its founders, Garth!

And there's never been a Garth who didn't give an arm (if not a leg) for the Legion.

I salute you!

Here, here! *cough* (sorry, still not fully recovered but working on it!)

To Legion World and the Founders! And to many more posts and many more drinks!

My, my, the merriment is overwhelming. I must join in. Here's to all you great LWers and new friends.

Can we post yet?

Evening all, how are you today?

Is the piano set up Semi doll? I have an urge to play some tunes for you all.

Any requests?

Hi, Harbs. The piano is always waiting for you to caress it's ivories. How about a little Jacques Brel? And what can I get you in the meantime?

I'd love a half of cider please Semi, and am i right in thinking Jaques Brel wrote carousel?

non?

I'm not too familiar with his work to be honest but he was a musical writer wasn't he?

I'll do a mean rendition of Cabaret right now, though I don't really have the legs to do a good Sally Bowles, sorry

Harby, from where I'm sittin', your legs look just fine

How about a little Billy Joel, is anyone into that?

Here's your half of cider, Harbinger. I'll set the other half aside for later. Absolutely, Brel did write Coursel. Look up the original broadway cast recording of Jacques Brel is Alive and Well and Living in Paris. Wonderful songs, wonderful singers. It would make a great addition to your already formidable repertoire.

Cabaret would be a perfect way to start off the evening.

Billy Joel, Say Good-bye to Hollywood is a great song, not to mention his rendition of "New York State of Mind".

Piano Man is the classic, but he has a couple others that I love too. Some are a bit too somber for the good mood of SHAKES though!

Maybe Belinda and I could do the duet to "Unforgettable" that we performed before, for old times sake

. After that, I'll let her take center stage, I'd rather just have a Bass and listen in for a bit!

Here's your Bass, Cobie. But "Quiet Please, There's a Lady Onstage".

(That was Peter Allen's tribute to Judy Garland).

New York State of Mind by Billy Joel

One of my favourite memories is of walking through Cenral Park in one of those glorious late September days, quite a few years ago now, with that playing in my headphones!

For Semi and all the true romantics in the audience here goes,

"some people like to getaway
take a holiday from the neighbourhood..."

Great choice. Harbs. I'll dim the lights.

Hm...that sounds lovely...

Your mug looks empty, Cobie. A refill, perhaps?

Some soft Jazz next as I try my hand at Pablo Conte's 'Boogie'.

I love

the accoustics here Semi, who was your architect?

Oh I kinda did the remodelling in my spare time, with a little help here and there from Emerald Empress. The triple marine varnished authentic antique swinging saloon doors were all my idea. I've had them a long time.

Bar's open, LW. Come on in. I'm shaking, not stirring.

Hey, the new SHAKES has reached 100 posts!

I'll have a Fellows Martini and a VaVaVaVee in honor of our two gracious hosts, and to celebrate the auspicious occasion!

Do want those both at the same time STU? Is this going to be one of your famous two-fisted drinking nights?

I'll have something cold and alchoholic. What, I don't care.

What's the matter? I'll get you a vodka lemonade.

Nothing serious, I'm just a bit tired. (Ever have a feeling you were about to catch cold?) Hard lemonade sounds good, though.

Quote

Originally posted by Semi Transparent Fellow:
Do want those both at the same time STU?

Yes! I'll combine the two into a delicious new concoction that I dub a Perfect Harmony.

Yeah, Arachne, I gave a ride today to a co-worker who had a cold. I hope I don't catch it from her. It was actually a very irritating ride. She talked on her cell phone the whole time. When she got out, she kept talking and didn't even say thankyou. She's never getting a ride again. And I'll probably catch her cold.

I was in a waiting room yesterday with a guy who was coughing up a storm. :7

Nothing you can do about it now, I guess. Maybe you already have the anitbodies. Keep your fingers crossed.

I'm here too, Cobie sneaked me in like he promised he would

And I've given you the excuse of saying that you're on official Security business for being here. Now that you're a security officer, the laws of Legion World allow you to go to whatever public houses you please;)!

And to kill this hangover, I'll have a Bass and a shot of Jameson whiskey...

I'm in a contemplative mood tonight. I'll just have a hot tea and sit in the corner to think.

Well then, I'll get you your tea, STU, since I haven't been much use around here recently and leave you to your contemplation.

*cough* And I'll try not to cough in it!

It's -43oC with the windchill. I think this calls for hot chocolate.

Arachne, how could is it today?! It's freezing over here!

Glad to see you back Vee, how about I get you a drink

?

And Stu, hope you're feeling better today!

I'm going to have another hot tea and get to bed.

Stay warm, everyone.

You too Stu. Everyone needs to stay warm right now and take care.

Quote

Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
Glad to see you back Vee, how about I get you a drink

?

I'd love a drink, Cobie, but I can wait until you get up later today (I figure about 1:30 or 2:00 PM on a Saturday, right?)

At the very least! I know I waited until 1

Here's a drink in honor of our beloved proprietor, Semi -- I call it the Starry Night... (I'm not sure what's in it, but it's a dark liqueur with a dash of a creamy one...)

Good morning.

<pours drink>

Barkeep, some EverClear-spiked lemonade, please. (180 proof.)

There are some things I want to forget around here right now. Before they're ... forgotten for me.

Well, I'm here for some drinking myself! I'd say the next round is on me, but there all free here at SHAKES!

Even though no one seems to be around lately...

I'd rather be around than a square

boom boom!

I'll have a Red ranger and some earplugs please.

(Ducks)

I'm not away to sing so you don't need the earplugs, though if you duck it means we may see eye to eye for once

Well, Eye to something anyway...

(Ducks again, this time with his eyes open)

[STU pours himself a Fellows Martini and a VaVaVaVee, and retires to sit by the fire and read]

I would like a Jillionaire's cocktail.
Bourbon, 3-sec, soda, 7up over ice.

Here you go!

Sounds interesting... I'm going to have one for myself too...

Can't believe it's taken me so long to get back here.

Place looks as classy as always. Nice job, everyone.

Think I'll just pour myself a cold one and chill for a bit.

Good to see you back here Miner! It hasn't been the same without you!

And where have Semi and Vee been lately? I guess I'll bartend today until they return. In the meantime...

<pours beer>

Geez, Cobie is not only up at this ungodly early hour in the morning, but has posted to two different threads in the same minute!

Bartender, I'll have what he's having.

**Purr**

Is that dumb dog back?

**Purr**

He never leaves.

It's like the Pet Hotel California.

The Eagles.....bah.

<pours beer>

Livin' it up at the Hotel Paris-pornia...

Such a lovely place... such a lovely face...

[chugs beer]

Now, mocking the Eagles is prefectly acceptable.

Next round's on me.

<pours beers>

I need a drink!!!!

Me too, what are you having?

I need a drink right now. I really need a drink.

YOU. WOULD. NOT. BELIEVE. HOW. MUCH. I. NEED. A. DRINK!

If you two aren't going to tell me what you want, you'll just have to have what I am. That being a cherry brandy.

I'll have a cherry brandy.

Plus one of everything they have here. And keep 'em coming.

I did mention that I really really need a drink, didn't I?

[CHUG]

Brandy, you're a fine girl ...

What a good wife you would be...

Ah, I see it's Karaoke Night.

<pours beer>

Karaoke, wayward son ...

Oh dear, that calls for another drink.

Hey Karaoke, what's your game girl, can anybody play

Great, now I'm doing it.....

I better switch to Opal Nera before the group singalong starts.

Whatever happened
To Tuesday and so slow...

Standing in the sunlight laughing
Hide behind a rainbow’s wall,
Slipping and a-sliding
All along the waterfall,
With you, my brown-eyed girl...

I'm proud to be karaoke from Muskogee

Ooooh, pretty colors... Cobie sneaked me in and got me drunk... [Hic!]

Looking for Semi and Vee - I haven't seen either one for a while and thought they might be camped out here. At least the doors are still in place.

Is that Invisible Brainiac slumped over the bar? Hard to tell, since he's partially invisible....someone should monitor his drinks when he sneaks in here. He has to go to school in the morning.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ........................

Is that a cat licking my face?

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.......................

I'll monitor his drinks! Chug, chug, chug! Alright!

Sorry I missed the sing-a-longs last night!

And just where have Semi and Vee been?

Oh, and I'll have a beer!

Last night I went out for happy hour with the full intention of drinking until last call. Needless to say, that was a lot...a LOT of beers and shots

.

Well, since "The Simple Life" is over; how about a "Jillionaire Cocktail"
3 parts Bourbon (Maker's Mark recommended)
1 part Coinreau(sp)
splash sour mix
shake
splash seltzer
splash 7-up
serve straight up
This is a post about drinking, right? If not, sorry, just got here.

It definately is about drinking Americommando! I'm glad (and I know the regulars who post in this thread will be too) that you stopped by!

SHAKES is the official Legion World bar, run by Semi Transparent Fellow and Varalent! Stop by for a quick drink, or to tell us about whatever concoctions you've created!

In the meantime, I think I'll have one of those

!

I'd like one too, it'll help me with the work I have to do this evening I'm sure

and if not it'll certainly make it more fun reading 14 yr olds homework

Oh why didn't I become a hairdresser like my mother always suggested?

I think I'll settle in for a quick beer after posting all those hero pics in the Bits forum...

Still no Semi or Vee? Strange.

Very strange. They are sorely missed.

I saw Semi was here before, but he must have been lurking, he didn't post

Good thing the service here is mechanized.

I'll have a brandy again tonight.

I think I'll have a brandy too, although a Ginger Brandy. After loving Blackberry Brande for years, I'm starting to like the Ginger Brande more

How cold is it where you are tonight Arachne?

It's freezing here, it might hit between minus forty to minus twenty. I can only imagine how cold it is there...

I'm drinking brandy and amaretto. Yum!

Good to see you Mr. Deputy! Amaretto is always good, especially when mixing it with another liquor!

I think it's -44 with the windchill. There's frost coming in around one of the doors.

That is COLD!!!

Wow, don't go outside!

I wasn't planning on it.

At least I have my art and my brandy to keep me warm.

Art and brandy. What more could anyone ask for?

A good furnace springs to mind. Fortunatly, I have that too.

Thankfully

!

Well, I'm off to bed tonight guys! Goodnight Arachne, HWW and Legion World (and Stu too if he stops back in)!

Stay warm!

Quote

Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
After loving Blackberry Brande for years, I'm starting to like the Ginger Brande more

Blackberry Brande and Ginger Brande: R.J. Brande's two sexy granddaughters!

I'm going to warm up with a brandy-spiked hot chocolate...

You too, Cobie. 'Night.

Ahhhh...

Nothing like a cold one before going to work.

Speaking of cold ones...it's getting ugly out there.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ................

Wha? Where am I? (mumble mumble) What time is it? (looks at watch, jumps up, hits head on ceiling) On my gosh!!!! I'm late for school!!!!!!!!!!

(runs out of SHAKES, still dripping beer all over the place)

Maybe we should install an alarm clock to make sure IB wakes up on time. Wouldn't want to have the school authorities coming around looking for him....

It's more fun letting him sleep.

IB goes to school at 3:45 in the morning? Night watchman school, maybe?

Very long walk.

I say let the boy drink! Education comes second to fun

(Or at least even)

SHAKES is an education, so it's all good.

Educate your palate to beers from around the world I say....

Anyone care to join me in a keg of good German Bier?

This is a (virtual) bar, and you're supposed to be able to speak any truth in a bar.

Since I've been, shall we say, advised or obliged by various parties against saying anything in, shall we say, certain other places, and it's been a day and a half already, I'll raise a glass of Sonnie's newly tapped fine Pilsner and goddamn say it here:

To Paul MacNeil, gone far too soon. Requiescat in pace.

I heartily second that, Grey!

To Paul, who will never be forgotten.

Well, it seems to be time for a beer, being Sunday and all. Now if only one of my football teams were still in the playoffs...

This one is looking for Raging Bull. Does anyone know his intentions toward my friend, Danny Blaine?

Oh, and this one would like to buy you a drink, Cobalt.

Never heard of him, I'm afraid.

<pours beer>

I'd love to share a drink with you Mantis

And Raging Bull hasn't been around lately, but he should be by again soon. It seems he might have a bit of a crush on Danny, if you ask me...

Still no sign of the missing proprietor?

I was thinking, if Semi is a sunderer, perhaps he's off working on a highly confidential divorce case. Who could it be?

Leap Year Lass has also been absent. I suspect she ran off and eloped with Lester, à la Britney, saw what a mistake that was and is now seeking a quickie divorce. No doubt she thought she could change him...

Where does Vee come in? Could he have run off with Lester? Nah - Vee has refined tastes. I don't think he'd put up with that "You're Stupid" nonsense, especially since LYL failed to get any other response from the spoiled rich kid.

Where could all these missing posters be? Legion World just isn't the same without them.

Hi all, I'm back! I was sure I had posted about my upcoming (now past) trip up north and then out to Vegas but with the fog I was in while battling the flu I must have imagined it.

In any case...anyone need a drink?

Well, speak of the devil!!!! Welcome back!!!

Quote

Originally posted by Fat Cramer:
Leap Year Lass has also been absent. I suspect she ran off and eloped with Lester, à la Britney, saw what a mistake that was and is now seeking a quickie divorce.

That would explain the nature of certain comments on this page ...

Well, I'm glad Vee's back! To celebrate, I'll do what I always do in SHAKES...

<pours Bass Ale, and shot of Jameson>

Now, if only Semi would show up! Not only have he and Teeds both been absent lately, but it seems like all of Legion World has been a bit quiet. Maybe everyone just needs a warm place like SHAKES to go to and have a quiet drink?

Quote

Originally posted by Varalent:
Hi all, I'm back! I was sure I had posted about my upcoming (now past) trip up north and then out to Vegas but with the fog I was in while battling the flu I must have imagined it.

You didn't leave the message with that drunken puppy, did you?

The message probably got re-routed to the same place as that batch of missing brownies...

*Burp!*

Looks around guiltily while wiping his mouth of chocolate.

<pours beer>

If you can't drink at work, then the dream of utopia is still a long way off...

Quote

Originally posted by Fat Cramer:
You didn't leave the message with that drunken puppy, did you?

It's a drunken monkey now.

Or, for short, "drunkey."

or DrunkyMon!

Quote

Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
<pours beer>

If you can't drink at work, then the dream of utopia is still a long way off...

Everyone can drink at work. It is just that most of us will get fired if we do.

<pours beer>

Anyone around for a quick drink?

Sorry I missed you Cobie but I'm glad you helped yourself. Looks like no one else is around...

What am I, chopped liver? Hmpf!

Oh, I'll still be hanging around for a bit.

<pours beer>

How was the trip?

Sure you do, as a matter of fact I'll raise a toast to our (almost simultaneous achievement of reaching post number...

[Linked Image]

Quote

Originally posted by Outdoor Miner:
Oh, I'll still be hanging around for a bit.

<pours beer>

How was the trip?

The first part was nice since it was visiting family up north (including the latest addition!) then it was meetings out west. SInce I wasn't completely recovered from the flu it was a bit wearing but all in all a good time.

Quote

Originally posted by Varalent:
Sure you do, as a matter of fact I'll raise a toast to our (almost simultaneous achievement of reaching post number...

[Linked Image]

Hey! We're cheek to cheek, toe to toe!

That would mean we're also *** to ***!!!!!

I'll drink to that.

So, if I'm at 1800 to your 3600, does that make me half-***ed?

(You don't have to answer, really)

COngrats OM! Here are your numbers in celebration as well...

[Linked Image]

Whoa, it's like all the planets coming into conjunction with each other!

(Or, more appropriately, all the moons...!

)

You realize that as close as we are, when you drop your drawers and bend over like that....

Behave boys, there's a lady in the room.

And a bug.

Don't forget the bug.

Ooops! Sorry sweetie! Thought it was boys night!

And don't forget the monkey!

A lady, a bug, some boys, and a monkey. How could you not love this bar?

A toast to LW diversity! [she says,raising her glass of french brandy.]

I'll drink to that.

A toast!

Hear, hear!

[toasts with a nightcap, then heads off to bed]

A big toast to STU, Vee and OM, and to everyone else too.

(drinks glass of beer, and instantly falls over drunk)

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ..................

* I was never able to sleep on tables. How does he DO that?*

When you have never tasted beer before and get drunk easily, trust me, you'll be able to sleep anywhere.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ..............

It's too quiet in here tonight!

I wants me a DRINK! And I wants ta hear some NOIZE!

**Hiss**

I knew I'd find a Drunk Monkey in here.

**Hiss**

Yeah, I'm trying to sleep here!

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ..............

I'd like to raise a pint in honour of the birthday of LMBPer Seahorse!

Here's to you, Brian!

I love birthdays! (drinks some more beer and instantly falls asleep again)

Happy Birthday!

Congrats to our own Invisible Brainiac!

Somehow, he found time in between catching those ZZZZZs to rack up

[Linked Image]

posts!

Quote

Originally posted by Invisible Brainiac:
When you have never tasted beer before and get drunk easily, trust me, you'll be able to sleep anywhere.

As you get more experienced, you will find yourself waking up in stranger and stranger places.

Just something to look forward to.

What, like the Mission Monitor Board isn't strange enough?

Waking up to find dancing numbers is strange, but fun! Thanks, STU!

Waking up underneath Cobie's desk, now THAT is strange! And dangerous!

It's a bit quiet here tonight.

I think I'll have myself a pluberry martini and retire to read in the corner, by the fire...

Did someone just add some more logs to the fire? It seems hotter in here. Oh, well.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ........

I wonder if I'll wake up to find that I have been stuffed and mounted on the wall.

Quote

Originally posted by Invisible Brainiac:
I wonder if I'll wake up to find that I have been stuffed and mounted on the wall.

[Elmer Fudd] Be vewy vewy quiet. We'he hunting Invisible Bwainiacs! Heh heh heh heh! [/Elmer Fudd]

Is it too early for a drink?

Maybe just a little, but I won't tell anyone if you don't!

[hopes Danny doesn't see the three empty martini glasses behind STU's back]

LUSH! OK, if you can have three, martinis this early. (And yes, I see those empty glasses)

Then I can have a Kahlua and Creme...

Here's your K & C, DB!

I've got to, um, take care of some important business, but please help yourself if you'd like anything else!

[STU hopes Danny doesn't see him surreptitiously place a couple of bottles of vodka and rum in his backpack before hurriedly leaving SHAKES]

STU, you are leaving me? But Ill be here all alone! Sigh....

You're welcome to talk to me while I sleep. As long as you don't think of turning me into one of your trophies.

Quote

Originally posted by Danny Blaine:
STU, you are leaving me? But Ill be here all alone! Sigh....

You're never alone, Danny! SHAKES is always chock-full of friendly folks at any hour, day or night. Most of 'em are just the silent type, though!

Here's to BBSeahorse, to the toast I missed!

Time for a Sunday night drink!

Quote

Originally posted by Invisible Brainiac:
Waking up to find dancing numbers is strange, but fun! Thanks, STU!

Waking up underneath Cobie's desk, now THAT is strange! And dangerous!

Tell that to Thora, Kara, or Homecoming Queen

The dangerous part is what you might find on the floor or on the desk!

Egads, this place is a mess. It's going to take me a week to get it clean. <takes out bar rags and gets busy scrubbing the bar.>

Semi's back!

This calls for a celebratory drink or two.

S + E +

Thanks for the welcome STU, even though it's a Somewhat Truncated Utterance.

HOORAY! Welcome back, Semi!

Welome back, Semi! Nice to see you again.

Or semi-see you, o semi-transparent one!

Who's drinking what? I'll get it just as soon as I finish mopping the floor behind the bar.

I didn't piddle back there! I SWEAR!

I just read the classic, The Last of the Mojitos, so I'll have one of those.

I didn't accuse you of "piddling", STU. I'm Still Tidying Up. But I'll get your Mojito. What is it by the way?

An attorney I work with, and her partner (he's also an attorney) are thinking of opening a Canadian bar here in San Francisco. We were trying to think of names for it - something that would identify it as Canadian. I suggested "Eh?". They liked it, but rejected "Beaver" out of hand. Any suggestions?

The Maple Room.

True North.

Quote

Originally posted by Semi Transparent Fellow:
But I'll get your Mojito. What is it by the way?

Here's a recipe:

* * * * * * *

Mojito
by Ramona V. Abella

Although Summer time is best, anytime is the perfect time to enjoy a batch of your very own homemade Mojitos, the famous and preferred drink of Cubans and many around the world! It is as easy as 1-2-3: So, here it is!

Servings: 1

Ingredients:

1 tsp sugar
sprig of sweet mint
juice of ½ lime
a glass filled with ice cubes
one shot white rum

Method:

Pour all the ingredients over the ice cubes. Mix, serve, and enjoy!

Hey, welcome back, my fellow unseen, er, fellow!

Welcome back Semi! With both you and Vee back, SHAKES should be back to normal!

To celebrate, I think I'll have a nice dry gin martini. Anyone want one while I'm making them?

Sure Cobie, I'll join you for one. How have you been making out with the storm?

What, not a single post today? How'd that happen?

I'll have a cider.

Yikes!

Well, now there are two posts.

Here's your cider, Arachne. And I've poured myself a flute of champagne, as well.

Merci, Stu. (That's three.)

Are you celebrating something with that champagne?

Sort of.

I was given a small, complimentary bottle of champagne (as well as some chocolates) today, so I guess I'm just celebrating the fact that I got free liquor and sweets!

LOL Lucky boy.

Champagne & chocolate! What a great combo!

*hic*

Had happy hour earlier tonight... two beers, a Jack & Coke, and three glasses of wine...

*hic*

Well, a couple of Long Trails and I'm off to bed! Here's hoping all you Legion Worlders are doing well this time of the year

...

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ........

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.............

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ..........

I just hope nobody buries me accidentally.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ........

[STU looks around furtively, then starts dragging IB's sleeping form away]

Gasp! I wonder what STU's going to do with me?

I just hope that it doesn't involve that large banana.

You said you hoped no one would bury you accidentally.

Perhaps STU will bury you intentionally so there's no risk of that happening.

Burying is fine, but I have the strangest feeling STU has other plans.

I heard he's been looking for a new hood ornament...

Is that what they call it these days?

Maybe, but who knows what's going on in STU's twisted monkey mind?

Quote

Originally posted by Invisible Brainiac:

Gasp! I wonder what STU's going to do with me?

I just hope that it doesn't involve that large banana.

Quit talking!

How am I supposed to drag you away furtively if you keep making so much noise?

Quote

Originally posted by Invisible Brainiac:
I heard he's been looking for a new hood ornament...

Quote

Originally posted by Outdoor Miner:
Is that what they call it these days?

You're one sick pupa, OM. Keep up the good work.

Hey! OM just hit 1900 posts.

Congrats!

Thank you, thank you.

Wait, why am I not drinking?

<pours beer>

OK, that's better.

Originally posted by me:
And I heard that STU is looking for a new hood ornament.

Quote

Originally posted by Outdoor Miner:
Is that what they call it these days?

Well, it certainly sounds befitting a great simian leader to have his made out of human skin.

Of course, it won't be made of mine, will it?

<pours beer>

A quick one while I'm drunk and my girlfriend is on the phone

!

<pours beer>

I've always been terrible at resisting peer pressure.

Plus, I'm also drunk, and my girlfriend is on the phone with Cobie's girlfriend.

[pours beer and waits for the 1600 to roll in.]

And ... HERE IT COMES!

Here WHAT comes?

*duck*

Yikes, almost got a stain on my brand new jacket...

Oh, wait, you were talking about something else... Congratulations, Outdorr Miner and He Who Wanders!

Congratulations, Greg, on 1600 -- the perfect score!

Thank yew! Thank yew!

Congrats to Outdoor Miner on 1900, as well.

And, IB, that near-stain didn't come from me. Beer is too precious to waste.

Congrats HWW, and you too OM! Here's to the next couple of hundred!

And HWW, I've never heard a wiser statement. Beer is too precious to waste...

<pours beer, pours shot>

Congrats, HWW!

<Pours beer, raises glass>

To milestones and precious beer.

To... to...

Oh, whatever.

[offloads beer directly from tap into mouth]

More congrats are in order! Since I checked in earlier today, Stuey has crossed the great divide of 4000!

Congrats, Stu! This truly puts you in the upper echelons.

[toasts Stu with a pint of Sam Adams.]

Thanks, Greg!

I wouldn't have made it this far if it weren't so much fun posting around here -- so here's to Legion World and all the great folks who hang out here!

[enjoys the Sam Adams]

Another toast to STU!

RainbowGirl

I like it when it's quiet in here. Gives me a chance to relax by the fire while the droids clean up the mess from the night before. Looks like a lot of celebrating's been going on. We may have to install a kennel if STU keeps getting drunk and sleeping is off in here. At least now that he's a monkey, he sleeps in the rafters.

Congratulations to STU, HWW, & OM. Sorry I missed your milestones!

Congrats to Stu!

And to whoever is around right now, here's to all of you!

<pours Manhatten>

Anybody else in the mood for bourbon tonight? It seems like forever since there were a bunch of us posting in SHAKES at the same time!

I'll join you for a drink but not a bourbon, thanks! I'm in the mood for a nice Cuba Libre

Sounds good!

So, how are things Vee? It seems like forever since I've talked to anyone!

I think I'll Join you guys, but herbal tea is all I can handle right now.

Hope that'll make you feel better Abin! For some reason, I think Space Ranger's get better drink is still Johnny Walker Black.

So, how you feeling Chuck?

Not too good yet, but the 'pooter is in my bedroom so it's an easy crawl.

Quote

Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
Sounds good!

So, how are things Vee? It seems like forever since I've talked to anyone!

Doing good Cobie. The last few weeks have been rather hectic but things should be a little calmer for a couple of weeks now before they go crazy again.

How are you?

Hey hey! It's nice to see all you guys here tonight! Feels like old times.

Hope you get better soon Chuck, being sick is the worst!

Things have been a bit hectic for me too Vee, the last two weeks have been rough, I've been sick and I suddenly amassed a bunch of parking tickets and got towed in two days, which costs so much unnecessary money. School and work are back in swing full time, and now I'm stuck at home reading the Grapes of Wrath (all 600 pages by Wed.), but I'm procrastinating

.

Hopefully things will calm down for me too! It seems like everyone is busy lately! Must be that time of the year...

I don't know, the last time we did this, you know what happened.

Hey Stu, good to see you!

It seems like forever since we talked online, things have been too hectic for this grad school boy!

How about a few drinks then?

Drink up everyone

Okay, one more tea, then one more tea, Cobie you sure these aren't Long Island Herbal Teas?

Here's to SHAKES!

<raises glass and throws it back>

Sadly, I eventually have to go back and finish Grapes of Wrath...

Anyone ever see the movie and care to tell me how it ends?

Quote

Originally posted by Abin Quank:
Okay, one more tea, then one more tea, Cobie you sure these aren't Long Island Herbal Teas?

*hic*

Of coursh not!

*hic*

The make wine? How bout annoder tea?

Quote

Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
Sadly, I eventually have to go back and finish Grapes of Wrath...

Anyone ever see the movie and care to tell me how it ends?

They get married and live happily ever after!

Trust me!

Quote

Originally posted by Abin Quank:
Okay, one more tea, then one more tea, Cobie you sure these aren't Long Island Herbal Teas?

But it's top shelf

!

They die...

It's true I swear!

It is one of the saddest books I've ever read...Gasp! I have to go and finish it before it gets any later! No...must stay and drink...

To SHAKES and to the good friends it hosts!

The grapes get really, reeeeeally angry, and join the Killer Tomatos in their attack on the Earth. Will Smith and the Ghostbusters face them in a final confrontation that fills the Grand Canyon with tomato wine.

The correct answer is G. None of the above. Now can I have another Tea?

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Varalent:

Stoopid Cat's not here, man.

Why certainly STUmonkey! I'll drink to that

To all the great people here! And to Stu and Stoopid Cat! And to my brother George, the richest man in town!

Quote

Originally posted by Povvin the Martian:
The grapes get really, reeeeeally angry, and join the Killer Tomatos in their attack on the Earth. Will Smith and the Ghostbusters face them in a final confrontation that fills the Grand Canyon with tomato wine.

If only I could say that to my Professor without him taking it seriously

...

You could at least try...

Quote

Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:

Quote

Originally posted by Povvin the Martian:
[b] The grapes get really, reeeeeally angry, and join the Killer Tomatos in their attack on the Earth. Will Smith and the Ghostbusters face them in a final confrontation that fills the Grand Canyon with tomato wine.

If only I could say that to my Professor without him taking it seriously

...[/b]

Take it seriously? Surely you jest! No Professor in his right mind could take that answer seriously (I doubt he could keep a straight face as he scolds you either!

)

Quote

Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
And to my brother George, the richest man in town!

Your brother George will have to leave then.

On Legion World, no one is allowed to be richer than yours truly -- LW Leader for Life!

And with the thought of Cobie getting yelled at and laughed at at the same time I'm going to bed, night all!

'Night, AQ!

Now, where are the proprietors, Semi and Vee? I need to talk to them about the all the taxes that they've failed to pay over the last couple of months.

My coffers don't just fill themselves, you know.

I'm going to bed STU, don't forget to turn out the light when your delusions of grandeur run their course for the evening, okay?

"For the evening"?

Heh.

Heh!

Ha!

HA!

HA HA!

BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

[STU wipes a tear from his eye]

Vee, man, that sure was funny!

I think STU is trying to tell you something, Vee.

The word "understatement" comes to mind...

Gee, the words "bank statement" came to my mind.

Richest person on LW, indeed.

Of course, as Deputy Leader, you're allowed the privilege of being the second richest person. (To be adjusted by the assessment of a voluntary Deputy franchise donation, of course.)

**Hiss**

<Watches another shakedown in progress, wondering when it will all end>

**Hiss**

Quote

Originally posted by His imperial majesty, STU:
Of course, as Deputy Leader, you're allowed the privilege of being the second richest person. (To be adjusted by the assessment of a voluntary Deputy franchise donation, of course.)

Oh, okay. I guess I can live with that, $tu.

Looks like STU's lust for power is taking over every thread. Well, at the risk of a one-way ticket to STU's citadel of detention, I wish he would keep his unbridled ambition in check when he's at SHAKES. Patrons should be able to have fun in here, without the fear of the authorities coming down on them.

Remember, STU, we still have photos of your many nights of debauchery in SHAKES. They are of course, in a safe place. Should anything untoward happen to SHAKES, its proprietors, or its patrons, the photos will be released to the media. Can I say, "Golden Dildo of Takron, Redux?"

Semi! I'm glad you're here, and with something to use against Stu and his endless tirade of tyranny! Hopefully he'll keep it out of SHAKES, although there appears to be no end of it...

While I'm here, I'll have a nice Bass Ale and a shot of Tulamore Du (sp?).

<but if you're concerned about the increasingly disturbing nature of our leader, stop by the Security Office. It might be time to figure out what to do...>

*Winks at Cobalt Kid*

I'll have a Bass too, please.

<Moves over to Kid Prime.>

How're you doin' Kippers? Hope everything is going good

!

So, I notice things are getting hectic with our leader lately...what do you think? Your resignation caused a bit of stir, but it was the right thing to do. A few of us are growing very concerned...

<Downs the Bass ale>

I may need another Bass.

I've been on a little reconnaissance mission, and what I've learned is perhaps nothing less than the END of Legion World AS WE KNOW IT!!! It's a good thing that I... wait, stop, what's going on...

*A spatial vortex pops into the air directly behind Kid Prime, and a metallic hand grabs KP by the throat, pulling him back into the vortex, which then immediately shrinks and vanishes into nothingness.*

WHAT THE-?!!

KP! Oh no, Jeff has vanished! Is anyone else around? Did anyone see? Dammit, where is everyone?

Large Metallic Hand? End of Legion World as we know it?

Damn...I'll leave a note for Semi and Vee telling them what happened...

<exits>

Hmmm .... skullduggery afoot.

(Enters SHAKES)

Proprietor, his Royal Infallibleness STU the Virile requires 100 liters of your best wine for a conference at the Mansion tonight. We expect you to have the spirits delivered with all speed.

Sorry, all alcohol must be consumed on the premises. And, we don't cater and we don't deliver! Why don't you check with SMAMELESS HUSSIES down the street.

Am I to understand that you reject our Lord STU? Perhaps this will change your mind!

(Slaps an official Order of State on the swinging doors, which reads: "By order of our most praiseworthy and honorable STU, this establishment is banned from selling all libations of an alcoholic nature. Furthermore, anyone seen in abeyance of this decree, be it SHAKES staff or patrons, will be severely punished."

PROHIBITION has set foot upon the right-thinking shores of Legion World. All of you would do well to obey the law. THAT is ALL.

(STUbot #129 vanishes in a swirling vortex, which then collapses in on itself)

Eh, don't worry, Semi, I've got the bootleggers' network already organized. Supplies will be uninterrupted. You're welcome, and our cut will only be 20 percent of your profits (by our estimation, if you had any profits).

I'll have some Romulan ale. Oh, and which guest cottage in back is the one to be used for plotting to overthrow the Emperor?

<Holds nose and removes putrid Order of State>

Hey, Beehive!!! Don't you ever stick anything on my triple marine varnished, authentic antique swinging saloon doors.

Furthermore, SHAKES will not be subject to an illegally acting government. Drinks are free to all except government agents and STU.

Oh, and one more thing, Beehive, this is what I think of your administration -

Evening Semi, I'll have a Red Ranger, And I hope You'll join me. I've a feeling that things are getting strange, again.

Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Normal, what means this word, Normal?)

Glad to see STU's current meglomania hasn't kept everyone from visiting SHAKES. Anyone care for a drink?

You Got it Vee, and hopefully the message I just left at the Mansion for STU will be enough to bring him to his senses.

Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(It's getting close to GasMask Time for STU!)

Quote

Originally posted by STUbot # 129:
(Slaps an official Order of State on the swinging doors, which reads: "By order of our most praiseworthy and honorable STU, this establishment is banned from selling all libations of an alcoholic nature. Furthermore, anyone seen in abeyance of this decree, be it SHAKES staff or patrons, will be severely punished."

PROHIBITION has set foot upon the right-thinking shores of Legion World. All of you would do well to obey the law. THAT is ALL.

(STUbot #129 vanishes in a swirling vortex, which then collapses in on itself)

Well this is an ineffectual proclimation seeing how no drinks are ever sold at SHAKES in the first place.

I'll have a Diet Coke and a round of what everyone else has for the house.

Here's your Diet Coke, Quis. I'll get everyone else a refill.

You know, it's getting so a bug can't come in to his favorite bar for a little old-fashioned drinking binge without people getting kidnapped and robots throwing decrees around.

<pours beer; chugs>

Fear not, OM. We'll be rid of those distractions shortly. Care for another?

I'll just have a hot Tetley with lemon and honey tonight. Freezing outside!

Quote

Originally posted by Varalent:
Care for another?

Ah, those three little words....

Don't mind if I do, Vee. Thanks!

Here you go Scott. Hope it's hot enough for you

Pefect! Thank you Vee.

My pleasure! OM, what's your pleasure tonight?

I think I'll start off with a Skullsplitter, if you don't mind.

One Skullsplitter coming up!

I'll take a case.

The STU/Winema love patter is staring to get to me.

You are all ON THE LIST.

The cullings will begin soon. I would pray to whatever deity will ease your fear.

You know, the last artificial being who walked in here making threats didn't fare too well. FYI.

I'd like to have a drink, please!

Aren't you afraid of poisoning Your Majesty?

I'll have what he's having.

Quote

Originally posted by Lightning Lad:
Aren't you afraid of poisoning Your Majesty?

('Ports in, slaps Lightning Lad around)

How DARE you speak of poisoning Our Majesty?!?!?

(Releases the newly black-and-blue Lightning Lad)

Let this be a lesson to you all.

*lashes out with a bolt of lightning, melting the bot into slag*

You need to make your playtoys a litter sturdier there Stu. Now, maybe I should go off and see where Kid Prime is. I haven't seen him around the last little while.

Quote

Originally posted by Winema Wazzo:
I'll have what he's having.

You'll have Winema Wazzo?

I figured you would want first shot, LL.

These artificial guys, they don't learn.

Though my predecessor STUbot # 129 may be gone, the legions of STUbots in reserve will NOT be thwarted!

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Since when do robots laugh maniacally?

I thought they laughed mechanically.

It could be worse. They could be programmed with one of those laugh tracks, like on "Good Times". Then we'd hear ol' STUbot #whatever go "Right ON!" every five minutes or so.

<pours beer; chugs>

Want anything from the bar?

Just the contents of the till, thanks.

Since it's empty I say go for it. Nothing for me OM. I'm going over to KP's place to check in on him.

Now that I've finished sending all the good stuff in the bar to a safe location, I'll join you.

<walks in>

Hm, no one around right now, but it looks like there was a serious arguement. No doubt relating to the Stu drama. From what I've uncovered so far, it looks like Vee, Semi, OM and LL have been resisting him, so we all need to hook up together. Between them, Space Ranger, FC, Stoopid Cat and the Triumvirate, the resistance is taking shape. Maybe we could meet up at the Beacon or SHAKES...

Now we need to find KP, who might have the answer to all our problems with his item. I only hope the Security Office isn't taken while I'm gone...

It's so comforting to know that SHAKES has remained an island of sanity in the midst of chaos. Life goes on, friends get together for a drink and the madness passes by in the outside world.

Quote

Originally posted by STUbot # 130:

Quote

Originally posted by Lightning Lad:
[b] Aren't you afraid of poisoning Your Majesty?

('Ports in, slaps Lightning Lad around)

How DARE you speak of poisoning Our Majesty?!?!?

(Releases the newly black-and-blue Lightning Lad)

Let this be a lesson to you all.[/b]

STU has reached a new low it appears!

Leaves note to Semi and Vee in encrypted code:

Meeting today to discuss Legion World business. At the most fabulous place on Legion World.

-C

Leaves response for Cobie in encrypted code:

I'll be there and will try to get your message to Semi in time as well!

PS: If all else fails, the Villa has been secretly fortified to withstand any type of assault. Pass the word. That's where I hide Jinx after completing the rescue from STU's dungeon!

-V

Quote

Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
Leaves note to Semi and Vee in encrypted code:

Meeting today to discuss Legion World business. At the most fabulous place on Legion World.

-C

Now that I have intercepted this transmission, it is the perfect opportunity for me to squash this rebel scum once and for all!

Quote

Originally posted by Varalent:
Leaves response for Cobie in encrypted code:

I'll be there and will try to get your message to Semi in time as well!

PS: If all else fails, the Villa has been secretly fortified to withstand any type of assault. Pass the word. That's where I hide Jinx after completing the rescue from STU's dungeon!

-V

But can it survive... the DEATH STU'RE?

(Sends a secret transission to the STUbot crew of the Death STU're... otherwise known as CRUbots.)

<Destroys Stubot #134 with magnetism>

I know that STUbot #135 is right around the corner, but hopefully that transmission didn't get out...

Did you say "squash"?

SHRink!!!

SQUASH!!!

Bring on the Death STUars, STU baby. I'll take 'em on alone if need be. Your reign of terror is about to come to a screeching halt!

We make a good "one two punch" Cobie!

How about a drink on the house?

Sounds good to me Vee! Nothing better than a cold drink when your smashing robots!

Here you go, Cobie. A nice cold draft for each of us. Stompin' & squashin' sure works up a thirst!

Double Scotch whiskey, neat! I need something to wash the taste of Stu's announcement out of my brain.

Quote

Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
Leaves note to Semi and Vee in encrypted code:

Meeting today to discuss Legion World business. At the most fabulous place on Legion World.

-C

"-C"?

I knew it!

Lyle's lover is none other than... Cobalt Kid!

(Still MIA)

Well, it was inevitable.

Woo-wee, I could do with a drink. I've just not been throwing rotting produce at maniacs and I'm fair worn out now. Give me something chic, like a really posh cocktail but without a stupid name or any icky ingredients.

Well, I need a drink before the resistance starts making bold moves this afternoon...

Maybe a scotch on the rocks.

And C? I have no idea what you're talking about. I thought Lyle's lover was really Cal Ripken Jr.?

I'm having a Cuba Libre which is a rebellion inspired drink. What would you like Cobie?

That sounds good to me Vee! I'm going to need your help defeating the Inquisitor!

I've got your back Cobie...and here's your Cuba Libre

<Hurls fire bomb at SHAKES>

If Quislet, Esq. thinks that SHAKES can remain open legally, I will show him what I think of laws.

Bah! Laws? What need do I have for laws, when I carry swords?

Ahh, how convenient. I was just looking for something to light my cherries jubilee. Thanks in...quis?.itor? quiz?, hmmmm. Be interesting to have a look under that mask.

No one will ever see what is under this mask.

Well I don't know what the big deal would be. I mean I already saw you with your pants down over in COBALT KID'S! security office. I mean, heck, I'm a wall. I pretty much see everything.

Wanna buy some photos?

Quote

Originally posted by Royal Inquisitor:
<Hurls fire bomb at SHAKES>

If Quislet, Esq. thinks that SHAKES can remain open legally, I will show him what I think of laws.

Bah! Laws? What need do I have for laws, when I carry swords?

First murder (and Civil Rights violation) and now arson. It looks like someone will be going to Takron-Galtos for a long time.

Definately! We've caught him now Quis, so hopefully he won't be a bother to anyone for a long time.

And thanks to Blockade Boy for saving SHAKES!

Thanks BB! That was great work! I'm sure Semi & I will come up with something very special to thank you for your defence of SHAKES today!

Gee, thanks a lot Blockade Boy. Vee's right we have to get you something special. What could a wall want .... hmmmn? I know, how about a new paint job - a fancy one, like a faux finish.

Don't mean to interupt;

Something else else for V-D this Saturday.
It's an oldie but a goodie.
I am sure this has not been served in 20 years.

Champagne Cocktail

Dash of Bitters & Simple Syrup, Chilled Champagne

Put dashes in Champagne glass, Fill with Champagne, Garnish with a twist.

Here's another;

Get some frozen berries, defrost, simmer with sugar, cool, then put in glass, add champagne or your favorite sparkling wine.

**This IS a post about booze, right?**

Quote

Originally posted by Royal Inquisitor:
<Hurls fire bomb at SHAKES>

Hmm, that gives me an idea. Semi, next time your remodeling, how about putting in a nice big fireplace? Or is there one already? (This place seems to mutate a lot.)

Quote

If Quislet, Esq. thinks that SHAKES can remain open legally, I will show him what I think of laws.

Bah! Laws? What need do I have for laws, when I carry swords?

You're going up against the LMBP with swords?

[Shakes head while pouring Opal Nera]

Pathetic!

Arachne! Good to see you! Have you made your way to Bevis' irRESISTible boutique yet, where the RESISTance may or may not meet, assuming a resistance actually exists?

As a matter of fact, I just stopped by there. Just looking for a new outfit, of course. Nothing to do with any resistance that probably isn't goin on anyway.

Good to see you Arachne and IB! It's been quite a hectic week, we could've used your help! There's still plenty of work to be done in cleaning up Legion World and restoring things to normal! And all of us Security Officers need to find the true enemy on Legion World...

But first...<pours beer>

Quote

Originally posted by Arachne:

Hmm, that gives me an idea. Semi, next time your remodeling, how about putting in a nice big fireplace? Or is there one already? (This place seems to mutate a lot.)[/QB]

Arachne, SHAKES has had a fireplace for quite a while now. When you're at the bar, just turn around and look slightly to your left. It's surrounded by high back lounge chairs and is a wonderful place to kick off your boots and ejoy your favorite libation, the conversation of friends, or a quiet moment with a book.

<Fixes Herbal Tea, settles into large chair by fireplace.>

I Really Missed this place. It's nice to be back.

Hi Abin! Glad you're feeling better and back with us. Boy, you sure missed some crazy days here...and I do mean crazy!

Fortunately everything seems to be back to normal (or almost. There seem to be a few loose ends.)

Let me know if you need more tea.

It's good to see you back!

Thanks Vee.

It's good to be back. But, somehow I doubt that things will get too quiet, they never do...

Not around here. When they get quiet, that's when you need to worry about what's about to happen!

Hehehe

[STU walks into SHAKES, then stops in his tracks, a look of shock on his face]

Oh... my... God!!!

**Hiss**

Mutt, what did you do to Abin?

**Hiss**

Ah, quiet and Opal Nera. Doesn't get better than this.

Do you know how to make a "High Ball"? I'll take one of those in a short glass with ice. Bourbon you say? I'll settle for Beam, but if you can think of something better, I'll have that. And don't forget the ice.

Hey, nice to see you in here Minesurfer! Stop by SHAKES more often and grab a drink!

Glad to see Abin, Arachne and Semi back here too! As long as things are back to normal at SHAKES, all is well on Legion World. (Although Vee and I did have fun killing robots

)

<pours a beam for Minesurfer and a bourbon for self>

Anyone else around today?

I'm here. And I'll have some of that bourbon too.

Ahhhh. Smooth. Got me an hour or two of sipping to do. Thanks for the welcome. I'd heard good things about this place. The atmosphere seems about right.

Dim lights, quiet noise in the background, and is that Benny Goodman's Stompin' at the Savoy I here being pounded out on the piano? Just need to find a good cigar now.

Bar's open, what can I get you?

Pretty busy for lunchtime in here. How's everyone doing today?

I think these guys are having a liquid lunch.

I think you're right! Hope they're not driving!

And I hope they're not flying either. Nothing worse than an out of control super-hero. We've have to replace the triple-glazed titanium reinforced ambient light deflecting skylight (that Emerald Empress installed) three times because of drunken weightless beef-cakes.

Thank goodness for the Empress. She sure has been handy to have around!

That's for sure

.

I'll try not to do too much flying in amoeba form, but no promises once I'm back to normal! The denizens of Legion World love seeing their favorite hero flying around...

Glad to see both owners of SHAKES around at the same time

!

Hit me again, Sir. Another High Ball, and don't forget the ice. And get everybody else a round on me.

Think I'll have a nice after dinner drink and then sit by the fire and relax for the rest of the evening. Been a long time since I've just hung out a SHAKES. And what better way is there to celebrate my post #

4000!

*puuuurrrrrrr*

Congratulations on 4000 wonderful posts, Vee!

Congrats, Vee!

It seems the duty Roster has me fighting evil around here. So I guess I need a beer.

Fighting evil is hard work. I'll have another beer. Draft, no foam this time please.

I'll have a Legion World iced tea, please.

<pours beer>

Evening all. How's the eternal vigilance against evil routine treating everyone?

Quite well.

I have it on good authority that this keg of beer is contraband, and must be destroyed at all costs.

Hence, what I'm about to do is for the good of all LW...

[CHUGS]

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.........

I'm drunk again...

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.....

Oh, congrats, Vee!

Hangovers are evil... give me some aspirin please, a glazed doughnut (you have those here don't you?) and another beer too.

Quote

Originally posted by minesurfer:
Hangovers are evil... give me some aspirin please, a glazed doughnut (you have those here don't you?) and another beer too.

Here's your asprin MS. Sorry, we don't serve doughnuts anymore (if we ever did). Could I interest you in some soy crackers and salsa?

Quote

Originally posted by Semi Transparent Fellow:
Here's your asprin MS. Sorry, we don't serve doughnuts anymore (if we ever did). Could I interest you in some soy crackers and salsa?

Thanks, but I don't feel like throwing up again. Maybe Cafe Cramer has "The Fix" I need...

What, no Valentine's Day bash?

Ah well, I'll just sit here and enjoy the fire and a nice glass of Cherry brandy.

[STU stumbles into SHAKES, mumbling something about a post-Valentine's Day love hangover]

<pours Stu a boiler-maker with a thick lager and strong whiskey>

I'm not sure on how much you like these fearless leader, but this should take care of the hangover

! Might as well have one myself!

Hmm, now what was that about a Legion World ice tea? Sounds good, I think I'll try it.

And here is that Legion World Ice Tea to celebrate 1000 posts!

Congrats Arachne!

Thanks Cobie.

Quote

Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
I'm not sure on how much you like these fearless leader, but this should take care of the hangover

! Might as well have one myself!

Well, it was a love hangover, caused by too much lovin'. Which means that the only "hair of the dog that bit me" (so to speak) that would cure such a hangover is more lovin'...!

[STU hoists an Arachnetini in honour of Arachne's monumental milestone]

Just making sure SHAKES Stays on page one while I revive a bunch of old threads in an attempt to bury that stupid statue all the way down on page three.

And after a hard morning of Post Whoring and Statue Bashing, a Red Ranger to celebrate my 1500th post is in order!

Congrats Chuck! I'll have a beer with you (even if you're trying to bury my statue

)!

Here's to the next 1500!

Thanks Cobie, Say have you seen the new statue of Kid Prime?

KP has a great statue

! I'm a big fan of statues you know...

With so many threads on page one and two seeing action as of late, I think I need a drink...

The only part of the "Dark STU" era that wasn't an illusion was that magnificent, towering statue of yours truly that was put up by the adoring public!

Sadly, the statue of Cobalt Kid had to be utterly razed in order to make room for the STUtue...

Are you sure? I could swear I just saw it over there====>

The statue of Cobalt Kid has the LMBP Spectre's magic on it guys, don't worry, it can never be wrecked it

!

I'll drink to that!

I will too. I've got to drown my sorrow somehow.

There's got to be a way to convince Spectre to take of the curse, er, protection.

Aw, but enough about my statue guys! There's plenty of threads talking about me these days

!

How are you guys all doing? Care for a drink?

This is SHAKES. You have to ask?

Comin' right at ya

Thanks! I'll use this to toast the most splendid statue of all -- the STUtue!

I think it captures my handsome visage quite remarkably well, don't you think?

Merci beaucoup.

No need to thank me! I was happy to put the STUtue up.

Talk about bad timing...

Timing IS everything!

No, Opal Nera is everything. Really Vee, you gotta keep your priorities straight.

Opal Nera it is then

!

Priorities are as strait as possible...<pours beer>

Quote

Originally posted by Arachne:
No, Opal Nera is everything. Really Vee, you gotta keep your priorities straight.

That's my problem, Arachne...I can't even keep MYSELF straight!

But you wield a pretty straight Staff of Justice!

Don't you mean He SHAKES a pretty straight Staff of Justice?

<pours beer>

Um...was this the wrong time to walk in on a conversation

?

Your timing is impeccable, Cobie!

Thanks! You know, down South they call me 'Cotton Eyed Joe'!

Congrats on your post # 3200!!!!

Thanks Vee!

To celebrate, let's do tequilla shots all day!

Who else is in!

And it looks like you're about to hit a milestone too!

Congrats on 4100!!

Congrats to both of you Post-Whores!

But aren't we supposed to wait until Vee actually hits 4100? Not that there is any doubt that he will, Probably before I finish typing this.

I'm going to have to relinquish my self-designated "post whore" title with you guys around. I just can't keep up.

You got anything a little less harsh than tequila shots?

**Purr**

How about a shot of Catnip?

**Purr**

So which of you guys wants to buy me a drink?

I've got ya covered Icy! What'll you have?

Quote

Originally posted by Stoopid Cat:
**Purr**

How about a shot of Catnip?

**Purr**

Sorry, Stoopid Cat, don't have anything with catnip in it available. How about a bowl of heavy cream instead?

Can't have SHAKES falling to page two! Where is everyone? Anybody want a drink?

I need a drink tonight. And keep 'em coming, please.

I think I'll have a drink with you Stu!

How about a bit of the hair of the dog that bit me?

Drinks for the three amigos coming up!

Good evening, gents.

I'll have the usual, if you please.

Quote

Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
How about a bit of the hair of the dog that bit me?

Sorry about that. I was sure I sniffed the scent of bacon in your back pocket.

Congrats to Danny B. on 2500 posts!

Hi everyone! Boy I sure missed THIS place! Can't wait to get back here to hang out with all you guys.

Still nobody here? I was hoping to have a drink already. I've been dreaming about one for MONTHS!

Bartender's here. What can I get you, MagKid?

Let's see, I've been waiting for so long to have one I really want one of each. So how bout a long island ice tea.

Oh by the way! Hi Semi. Don't know if you remember me but I'm Tommy, Varalent's troublesome godson.

ill have a kahlua and creme...

Welcome Back, MK!!!

Thanks Danny! Boy its good to be back. The place has changed alot while I was gone. Lots of new things here!

Tommy, sure I remember you. Glad to hear you're finally out of the hospital. One long-island ice tea coming right up. I put it in a stainless steel tumbler so that you can use your mag powers to hold onto it if you have too many.

Semi may I have another?

Hi Danny. A kahlua and cream coming right up. How've you been?

Busy but good! Been off the last three days. I start a five day stretch tomorrow.

How about you? Everything well?

Oh, and these drinks are great. If you don't mind, I'll help myself to another...

Here's another, Danny. When are you off to Hawaii. (Congratulations, by the way.) That's at least two trips you've won now, isn't it.

its the third

First was Chicago (just one night)
Last year was Alcapulco
This year is Maui

Im leaving March 30. I will be back APril 5th.

Hey people!

Tommy, may I see your ID, please?

I would love a drink!!!!!

**Purr**

I'd like a bowl of milk, Please?

**Purr**

Here's a your bowl of milk, Stoopid Cat...and Icy what would you like?

Just so everyone knows, the rules Semi put in place during the last election are still in effect, as far as I'm concerned.

There will be no politicing at SHAKES.

SHAKES will be neutral territory.

Everyone is welcome here, whether they are a candidate or not. (Particularly if they are a cnadidate since all the candidates are regulars here!

)

**Purr**

Thanks Vee! But, what means rules? Do Cats follow rules?

**Purr**

Vee great to see ya I still haven't seen my Brother though and I'll just have a beer!!!!

Only when THEY set them, Stoopid Cat! I've been owned by too many cats to not know that!

Here's a nice cold draft for you Icy!

Quote

Originally posted by Varalent:
Only when THEY set them, Stoopid Cat! I've been owned by too many cats to not know that!

**Purr**

I Like You!

**Purr**

I'd like a Fellows Martini and a Va-Va-Va-Vee, in honor of the two wonderful proprietors of this establishment!

I'll just take a beer.

But I'll hoist it in tribute to our barkeeps.

I'll join you for that toast! Let me grab a Bass and then a tribute to Vee and Semi!

Semi,

I was wondering if I could borrow the piano so I could have some entertainment on my porch during the election?

Sorry Quis, the piano is too important a part of the ambience of SHAKES but you can borrow the dance pole if you'd like!

I may borrow that later when I have some private entertaining to do.

Scandal:

Shakes Regular caught being a "Private Dancer"... some say, "A Dancer for Money"

Quote

Originally posted by minesurfer:
Scandal:

Shakes Regular caught being a "Private Dancer"... some say, "A Dancer for Money"

But all the money goes to charity. to widows and orphans. honest.

Vee, dear the dance pole belongs to me!!!!!

Quote

Originally posted by Quislet, Esq:

Quote

Originally posted by minesurfer:
[b] Scandal:

Shakes Regular caught being a "Private Dancer"... some say, "A Dancer for Money"

But all the money goes to charity. to widows and orphans. honest.[/b]

What about stray animals? I'm sure your dancing could bring in enough to support them too.

And another thing, who said you were the Shakes Reqular involved in the Scandal. Good of you to take responsibility though... don't know how well that will transfer to political success, but you are a man of character.

Bar keep... another round, and get my friend here some pasties.

I guess I'd should earn my keep by serving as barkeep for a while (since I'm here drinking anyway!)

Minesurfer, I think I can handle making the round of drinks but I'm not sure where they keep the pasties around here. I did see a boutique down the street, maybe they have some there?

Hey Condo, glad to see you're pulling your weight around here. How about making me a drink while your at it?

Sorry Kid! Didn't realize you were here. What do you want?

How bout a beer! Vee says that have every brand imaginable here so surprise me with something different

Here you go. This is different, at least I haven't seen it before. Have an El Presidente in honor of the elections!

Cool!

Ummm...Pol are you sure you're allowed to be drinking alcohol with the meds you've been taking?

CARDED! All of you!

If you don't have any pasties, you can do one of two things...

1. Either wet some bar napkins and stick them on.

or

2. You're gonna have to staple the napkins on.

It's really upto the parties involved.

Good to see Pol and Condo here, and you too Minesurfer!

Quis, Vee, Semi, Icey, Stu, everyone else...how about a drink? I know OM won't mind starting at ten in the morning...

<pours beer, shot of whiskey>

Quote

Originally posted by icefire:
Vee, dear the dance pole belongs to me!!!!!

I know that Icy, I figured you wouldn't mind it at all if it was inside Quis' house for a bit. Can't imagine Quis would have any objection to you using it to dance for him while it was there!

[STU looks around, making sure that absolutely no one is in the room. Then he does a quick twirl around the dance pole and, almost as quickly, composes himself and returns to what he was doing.]

Quote

Originally posted by STU:
[STU looks around, making sure that absolutely no one is in the room. Then he does a quick twirl around the dance pole and, almost as quickly, composes himself and returns to what he was doing.]

Was it fun?

**Purrr**

Look, His collar is still on the post.

**Purr**

Thank goodness for miniature cameras.

I love the Nightlife I've got to Boogie.......Thanks Semi!!!!!!

It's quiet in here. <wipes down bar. Turns on "I Can't Stand the Rain" holo music vid. Polishes dance pole and looks for the drunk puppy.>

<pours a beer>

How're things Semi? After campaigning all day, I think I need a nice beer...

Let me pour it for you Cobie. I notice you knocked me out of the top 5 posters club. Well done. It was time somebody did that.

Then it's been my pleasure. Thanks!

But I hope that you keep a steady flow of posting going!

Everything's more fun when our favorite semi transparent poster is around!

Here's to Semi!

Yeah, I miss my SemiSweets!

Not as much action in SHAKES lately!

C'mon everyone, pull up a chair and lets have a few drinks!

Can I Kick It?

Yes I can.

I'm going to have one last drink here, and then call it an early night.

Night, folks!

Don't mind me! Just picking up some supplies for the Vee Voters Campaign Rally at the Villa tonight!

Supplies from SHAKES for a campaign rally? At the Villa???? Hmmmmm! I'd better look into this!

Since when does a girl have to go back three days to get a drink around here?

[Curls up in a chair with her opal nera.]

It's the election.

None of the candidates want to get caught drunk in public.

<pours beer>

I wonder when they'll realize that being caught drunk in public might actually get them more votes?

Vee's still trying to figure out where we had the party in the Villa! The place is so big he hasn't found our party room yet!

We had one hell of a "campaign rally" the other night (I think Invisible Brainiac is still recovering from it at the Villa!)

Hmmmm. I should drop in on one of those parties...

Anytime you want DB. Just don't tell Vee where it is! It's kind of fun keeping him guessing!

I know just where he keeps the ciagrs and brandy too!

I wonder what I did while I was drunk? Gosh, I wish I knew... Oh, well...

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ....................

Quote

Originally posted by Condo:
Vee's still trying to figure out where we had the party in the Villa! The place is so big he hasn't found our party room yet!

We had one hell of a "campaign rally" the other night (I think Invisible Brainiac is still recovering from it at the Villa!)

aHA!!! So that's what went on!

Being drunk in public is the main part of my campaign!

I don't think Vee will be very happy about our "campaign rally"; I'm still a minor, after all.

I think I'd better stay away from Vee for a while, at least until he cools off...

I'll just pour five shooters on the table for whoever the next four posters are to throw back! Good to see SHAKES getting some traffic, even though Arachne had to get everyone back here!

<pours beer and shots>

Now whose up for a drink?

Oooh! Me! Me! Um, wait...

(clears throat and deepens voice...)

I mean, I am.

Double post, IB? I guess that means you get two shots!

Nah, I wouldn't want to deprive anyone of a good drink. Though if nobody shows up within half an hour, I may just take you up on your offer...

I sure hope Semi won't mind if I sleep on the table again.

He won't! Stu is sleeping right over there!

(Say, where has the LW Top Dog been lately?)

I hope Stoopid Cat hasn't done anything to him. The campaign may have been going to his head.

Are there any shooters left? The campaign has come to an end and only the waiting remains so I think I can afford to have one!

I think I'll join you, Vee.

:burp: I don't believe it, Cobie got me drunk again! Wheeeeee!

(collapses on the table and instantly falls asleep)

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ...........

Shakes is goning to loose it's lisence if this keeps up.

Now that I'm no longer Leader, I don't have to demonstrate the high levels of decorum to which I was once held!

So... DRINKS ARE ON ME!

[GLUG]

[Trys to remember Stu demonstrating a high level of decorum.]

Hmmm, maybe a drink or two will help.

I'll have a drink with anyone who's able

But I have to say, I don't like the idea of no more elections! It seems like too many people have taken the fun idea of leadership elections too seriously...and made it no fun anymore...

I feel cheated...

Cobie, I'll have a drink with you any time, man.

My pleasure Jeff! I think you deserve a special thanks for making this whole thing fun to begin with!

I don't know what is in-store ahead as far as fun elections go, but I'm counting on fun times with you, no matter what

!

(Shakes head and sighs)

I'll drink to that! (glug, glug, glug)

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ....................

My, my. It looks like you could all use a drink. Even more, it looks like you all could use some SHAKES TLC. I've added the back-rub and hug protocol to the droids programming. Sit down by the fire, relax, take off your anti-grav boots and let us take care of you.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.................

I sure am glad I'm invisible. Otherwise, Semi would throw me out for being underage and I wouldn't be able to enjoy all the TLC here. Nice to (un)see ya again, Semi!

Quote

Originally posted by Invisible Brainiac:

I sure am glad I'm invisible. Otherwise, Semi would throw me out for being underage and I wouldn't be able to enjoy all the TLC here. Nice to (un)see ya again, Semi!

Ah, but having invisibility powers myself, I can see you in the invisible spectrum, IB. Don't worry, although I do not condone underage drinking, I won't throw you out. FYI, all the staff is under strict orders to serve only alcohol free drinks to underage patrons. So, if you're feeling tipsy, it's just in your mind. Now, how about another Shirley Temple? (and you thought it was a Manhattan).

Alcohol-free? Very wise - but I wonder what's putting him to sleep?

Probably the Spanish Fly I slipped into his drinks

Okay, now that the election fracas is over maybe we can get things back to normal. I'll have a Red Ranger.

Red Ranger coming up, Mr. Quank.
Cobie, why would you be putting an aphrodisiac into another guy's drink? Been sipping on the bi-beer again, have you?
FC, I think IB is falling asleep because he's been staying up way beyond his bedtime. And, of course, partying with Cobie would tire anyone out.

I feel like a Singapore Sling. I mean, I feel like drinking a Singapore Sling.

You got it, one really "girlie" drink coming right up. Mind if I join you?

As long as you have room for me too, SemiSweets!

SIngapore Slings all around, then. Haven't had one in years.

Hi Vee. What can I get you?

I hope you appreciated the fact that I had to send a time bubble back to 2025 New Orleans just to get the maraschino cherries. (A singapore sling does have maraschino cherriesm, right?)

Whatever you're having! I'm parched and anxiously awaiting the Press Conference!

A press conference? Do tell....

You'll see!

hmmmmm

Danny, want a singapore sling too? They're all the rage!

What a bartender! Going to all that effort for authentic maraschino cherries! No wonder everybody loves SHAKES. Now Vee, don't distract him too much before he gets that Sling mixed.

sure Semi!

Now where's the smoking lounge? I brought some nice Cuban ciagrs for anyone who wants one.

Ohhhh! Me! Me! Please?

Cigars and Singapore Slings Sound So Stupendous!

Smoking lounge is that glass room to the right of the bar. It has superb ventilation and a dynamite view of Mount Eruptus.

Perfect. Come on, Vee!

I just LOVE that view of Mount Eruptus!

It is beautiful...

Yes, the view of Mount Eruptus has been called "quite stimulating." In case you feel faint, there is a vial of vapours near the humidor credenza.

Very nice, thank you. Semi, you always provide the classiest service...

Right next to the Handi-Wipes?

Oh my...

You really do think of everything...

Those aren't handi-wipes, Vee. Those are Irish linen guest towels moistened with lavendar water.

well the press statement has been issued

Bravo! Sit down and have some refreshments with us Quis! We could all use a drink, I suspect.

May I have another?

Danny,

I think the correct phrase is "Thank you, Sir! May I please have another?"

Oh wait that's for something else ----- Never mind!

Vee, just a diet Coke with lime for me

Of course you may Danny! Noted authors are always welcome to a drink here, but those that are great friends get extra special treatment!

I'll get that for you while you continue to enjoy those wonderful tabacos

I could use several drinks...

Then several you shall have!

I admit to having a dry spell lately in terms of writing...

I need some inspiration...

Hmmm...did you ever see the tape of my performance at Shameless Hussy's Some people have told me they found it inspiring.

Quote

Originally posted by Danny Blaine:
I admit to having a dry spell lately in terms of writing...

I need some inspiration...

me too Danny, but I've set aside an hour on Saturday to write two new posts in Fun & Games, anything over that is a bonus!

Have a drink on me and lets toast to our creative muses, the lazy gits

!

LOL, Sounds good, Belinda. Lord knows that my muse seems to be drunk. I might as well be too...

And Vee, maybe you should show me that video yourself...

Whenever you're UP for it Danny!

Perfect...

BTW, I always forget to ask this. I keep meaning to ask the propieters of Shameless Hussies why they use a Saturn symbol as their motiff...

Hmmmm...

Anyway Vee, whenever you are ready to show me, my suite above the Beacon is available.

Let's have a few more drinks and then we can go premier the video!

Sounds good. I think I'll have a White Russian this time. Wow! These drinks are going straight to my head...

Which one?

Oh, a White Russian, okay. I wasn't sure!

Wow! I think... I think... I'm... drunk...

Those White Russians will get you double posting every time!

Hmmm...maybe we should get you up to your suite above the Beacon?

ummmm.... Kay.....

hmmm. wait. I seem to be getting a second wind. Semi, do you have any cola beverages?

Why yes, we have "Koko Cola".

What's in that?

Oh, just a little of the hair that bit you! (monkey hair, that is).

I screwed that up, didn't I.

LOL. I'm not sure...

But I still laughed so hard I spit my Pepsi out.

You must be doing something right...

Here, have an Irish linen guest towel moistened with lavendar water to wipe up that pepsi.

It smells so good...

**Purr**

I hope it OK for a cat to use the "Doggie Door"

I wouldn't want to catch anything...

**Purr**

All the alcohol fumes in here would kill anything before it could harm you anyway, Stoopid Cat.

Quote

Originally posted by Semi Transparent Fellow:
Here, have an Irish linen guest towel moistened with lavendar water to wipe up that pepsi.

How tasteful! As always, of course.

Semi, would you have time to help me with the Inn at Legion World? I desperately need someone of your discernment... heaven knows I'm not cut out to run a bed and breakfast on my own...

Wow, look at all the business at SHAKES tonight! Like old times!

I think I'll have a drink and a cigar before everyone goes to bed. I'm glad things have settled back down, now it's time for all of us to have some fun time together again...

Quote

Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
... now it's time for all of us to have some fun time together again...

Oh Oh!

I think I know what that means!!!

oh my

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.........

Oh, man... I just had this really weird dream where Cobie was bending over me... Did he slip something into my dirnk again?

I think I'll have another one... Last day of school is coming up, and I could REALLY use a break from all the studying. I DO study, you know, even though it doesn't seem like I do.

Hey, I'm sure that was only a dream!

And I don't know where else to extend my congrats, but congrats to Stu for reaching #5000! Half-Time Trapper status! Congrats my puppy-duck-monkey friend!

Congrats, multiple versions of STU!

And I'll have a triple scotch, straight up, thank you.

Quote

Originally posted by STU:
Semi, would you have time to help me with the Inn at Legion World? I desperately need someone of your discernment... heaven knows I'm not cut out to run a bed and breakfast on my own...

Of course you're not STU.

I'd be glad to help you. I've been looking for ways to expand my little hospitality empire.

Here's to the Anniversary of the Founding of the LMBP and to it's Founders.

Hip, Hip, Hooray!

PS: And congrats STU!

Quote

Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
And I don't know where else to extend my congrats, but congrats to Stu for reaching #5000! Half-Time Trapper status! Congrats my puppy-duck-monkey friend!

I always knew Cobie was a premature congratulator.

But hey, I did change my member status line, after all.

Thanks to all!

It's been fun.

Just eleven more! Go for it Stuey!

Well, I guess this is as good a night as any.

Go for it STU!

And here's a pre-congratulations to YOU, Vee -- for 4500 wonderful posts, and many more!

Thanks STU! And here it is, post #

<marquee behavior=alternate> 4500!!! </marquee>

Thanks to Semi, Vee, and everyone else who has made SHAKES such a wonderful and welcoming place on Legion World. I only wish there were a place like this in real life for us all to hang out and enjoy the easy comraderie of an evening spent in the company of good friends.

<pours beer>

C'mon, isn't everyone ready to start the St. Paddy's day week right?

And where has Stu been? I'm used to his post count per day % matching mine! I need more posts from Stu

!

Not to mention OM, Semi and others whose presence is a must at SHAKES...

Boy, SHAKES sure has been quiet lately...

Which means I get to raid the wine cellar! Woohoo!

Ahem! Did you forget the security camera?

Oh, don't worry. As a Security Officer, I have access to all the cameras on Legion World.

Sweet Ass Sweet!

<pours beer>

I hereby declare that I will continue drinking until TEN, that's right TEN, SHAKES regulars join me in this drinking binge!

Still at it I see, Cobie!

Come on I think it's time we put you to bed.

*uses tesseract to transport Cobie to the Villa*

Wow, what did I miss?

What did you miss? Just the usual night of riotous living and general joie de vivre. It'll probably be happening again tonight, though.

Looks like I got a part-time job at the HQ, so that calls for drinks all around. Here's to Legion World and all its sentients, present, absent, conscious or otherwise.

Okay, cramey I'll take you up on that one, and hoist a Red Ranger in your honor.

As will I, with Cramer in charge on the weekends all Legion World can will be safe and secure!

To FC!

And thanks for making sure I got home OK after that drinking binge Vee!

To Cramer.

Today it's champagne, OJ and oak leaves all around for Pagan Lass and Abin Q.'s 29th!

And Ultra-Matt's first official day at his new job!

Anything else? It's World Water Day. Ice cubes all around!

Life's been a bit hectic so I haven't been around too much, but here's to all of you!

Now get in here and have a drink!

Looks like Legion World's gone dry. Just you and me Cobie, which is fine. You're perfectly good company, even when you're not here.

Thanks FC

!

As always, I enjoy your company immensely! Let's enjoy a quiet drink while we wonder where everyone has been...

*throws open the doors*

Ahhh, it's nice to be back.

Hey everyone, SHAKES is open again!

CAFFEINE!!!

Oh... wrong place, in that case VODKAAAAA!!!

Howdee Vee, hows life?

Hey Sonnie! How are you? Been busy but good, and having a great time with the 21st Century Legion thread. Be sure to check it out. It's awesome!

Non-alcholic beverages for me please, aw screw it give me a dry martini.

Here you go Kinetix, glad to see you drop in at SHAKES.

Hey Kinetix...how YOU doin'?

For me, I think I'll start with a gin and tonic tonight and see where that takes me...

One G&T coming right up!

How ya been Cobie?

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.............

Ah, I miss the wonderful feeling of sleeping on the tables at SHAKES....

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ...........

Somebody toss IB in the storeroom. We have to discuss this Royal Inquisitor business and that snoring is distracting me.

Just have a Club Soda with some bitters - I need a clear head right now.

Why, FC, I never would have expected such rough treatment from you! Although I suppose my snoring is a bit too much... Oh well, let's talk about it when I wake up.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ....................

Ha! That's some funny converstating right there.
I'm not feeling liquored up enough, ANOTHER ROUND!

Hmmmmm...he hasn't made it here yet apparently. I seem to have gotten ahead of him finally!

Time enough for a nap!

*purrrrr*

<Enters SHAKES quietly, Wearing protective gloves and carrying a Titanium Cat Carrier, Quickly scoops up the sleeping Queen Connie and places her in the carrier, locking it with a heavy gauge high security lock.>

Don't worry kitty, a short stay at Dr. K. Nine's will do you good.

Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Stoopid Cats gonna have some company!)

<Walks in. Sees Zoe drinking and IB's feet sticking out of the store room closet.>

Zoe...? Where is everyone? Was Space Ranger here? What happened to FC and Queen Connie?

Did you see anything?

Oh...and how YOU doin'

Maybe a few drinks together while you tell all about what you saw, and a then somewhere more comfortable might be what we need right here...

I can't believe what I'm seeing on the tape from our security cameras! Ranger kidnapped Connie!

What's Legion World coming to when one of it's most senior security officers is kidnapping sentinents while they're asleep!

There better be a damn good explanation for this or I'm going to make Space Ranger and his overblown ego so small that the litter from the kittie box is going to seem like boulders to him. Then I'll give him to Connie & Stoopid Cat to practice their stalking skills!

*spots Cobie in the corner sharing a drink with Zoe*

Cobie! Come over here and look at this!

Holey Moley!

I had a feeling something terrible happened in here!

Vee, check out the Security announcement I put up at the Security Office--I've expelled Space Ranger from the Security Office. Not only has he kidnapped Stoopid Cat and Connie, he plans a Legion World wide Alt ID Revolution!!!

I just bumped into Abin before, and he said he was heading to your HQ! I was sharing a drink with Zoe trying to get some info, before I headed back to see Abin.

Things are getting crazy!

Zoe, I'll see you soon <pinches her behind

>

<Kicks IB lightly> and when you wake up, c'mon and join us

Can't a body enjoy a quiet drink around her anymore? What is that good awful noise outside?

I don't know, all my attention is focused on my butt, it's still a bit sore from the sensual pinch Cobalt gave me, Prowrr.

So, where has Semi been? He's missed!

And Arachne and Outdoor Miner?

And I wish Stu and Kid Prime would come back...

All the SHAKES regulars aren't around much right now...I think I'll just drink until the come back...

(or until Vee, Harbinger, Abin or IB carry me home...)

I'd carry you home sweetheart but I'm in a mind to join you getting drunk this evening, how about last one standing carries the other?

Care to join me in a large glass of Jamieson and coke?

I'm not old enough to drink, but we won't tell the authorities that. HA ha ha! (and so on and so forth with the evil laugh)

Really? neither am I! My, now we have something in common!

So, uh, tell me, do you prefer older or younger men?

<pours beer>

I see I have a lot of catching up to do.

***Shhhhhhhhh!!!****

IB is trying out some of the lines Cobie taught him on Kinetixgreenzoe. Don't anyone interrupt them!

Oh, I see.

<pulls up chair>

This oughta be good.

I think I'll join you!

<pulls up chair next to OM & pours more beers>

You're a scholar and a gentleman, Vee.

<pulls out infra-red spy glasses>

No need to get *too* close. Don't wanna throw the boy off his game.

Quote

Originally posted by Outdoor Miner:
You're a scholar and a gentleman, Vee.

<pulls out infra-red spy glasses>

No need to get *too* close. Don't wanna throw the boy off his game.

There are very few of us left, OM, and we need to stick together!

<pours more beers>

These spyglasses are really powerfully OM. They make everything look enourmous!

Well, if you boys must know, I don't care for the younger type. You have to be my age or older, but not to old, I don't want to be dating someone as old as my dad, so to put it in plain english, you'll do just fine IB.

Hmmm

<pulls up chair next to OM and Vee and waits>

Yay! Good for IB!

<pours another beer for OM & himself & one for BB>

It's certainly a good sign for Our Kid, isn't it?

Has everyone forgotten me?

Not at all Icey! Good to see you! Pull up a chair and join us for a drink.

Well, I'm a very lucky guy, then! (although technically I'm still a few months younger! But I'm sure Cobie can "fix" my birth certificate

)

So, why don't you let me buy you a drink, and then maybe you can tell me what else you like to do aside from looking beautiful?

I assume this place still stocks Opal Nera, right?

Hey Arachne Can I buy you a drink?

Any time, Icey.

BTW, are you the Icey on Comix-Fan?

~blush~, alright all have a bloody...I mean virgin mary, and then we can discuss the directions to my house, I mean our interests.

Oh, I'm very interested already

let's see, I like singing, acting, writing, designing, and right now mainly you.

No wonder you like Kinetix so much, I bet you could teach those other Legionnaires a thing or two about fashion.

I'd love to see you try outy some of your designs...

Here, IB...

<hands him scented candles and massage oil>

That might help too

. And let me know if her friend Sara shows up and needs loving

In the meantime, how about a drink?

<pours beer, lines up shots on the bar>

Whose in the mood for a few shots?

I'll have a few, you meant body shots right?

And Sara's in her typical mood of "they have to look my ideal man or be a woman," but if you have hair that passes your shoulders, your a shoe in for some lovin'.

Thanks, Cobie, I was beginning to run out of ideas. But now that the master is here, I can rest easy!

So, what say the four of us do something?

Like what, I say let's drink cheap booze, get all drunk, exert energy by breaking fine china, and then if you want to go to the bedroom to get some "sleep", that would be fine.

Sounds great, but how about we go to the sleep part immediately?

Oh, wait, I know of this amusement park nearby, and the view from the top of the ferris wheel is excellent! Especially at night.

Sounds romantic, but I have a feeling that your not into much romance.

Romance is always good before play.

hmm, you sound kinky, I like you, we need to play sometime.

How about a play date?

ooh, i'm loving it, tell me, do you think whip cream fits with slik sheets?

Definitely! I'll bring the chocolate syrup!

Hmmm, I think it's time for a chaperone to be appointed...

can it be me

?

<pours beers>

What's wrong with this picture?

Quote

Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
can it be me

?

Umm...NO

Jeepers, Vee, we were just gonna make a banana split!

Quote

Originally posted by Invisible Brainiac:

Jeepers, Vee, we were just gonna make a banana split!

A likely story! :rolleyes:

Quote

Originally posted by Invisible Brainiac:

Jeepers, Vee, we were just gonna make a banana split!

Is that what they're calling it now?

Something else else gets split, that's for sure...

<pours beer>

But it's true! Zoe LOVES peeling and skinning stuff!

You should see her EAT a banana!

hmmmmm

Good to see you around again, Danny! We've missed you at SHAKES.

Yeah Danny, good to see you around!

Although half of the old SHAKES regulars aren't around much these days, I'll raise a glass on their behalf!

In fact, I might raise ten or twelve...

I'll see your ten and raise you this keg of ale I've just tapped.

I see your keg and raise you one vat!

Wow, since I've been away you guys have been having fun, got a virus and can't use the internet at home ~tear~.

And you have to very nice to me if you want me to eat a "banana."

So now that Danny has popped in, will he be showing back up?

What about Semi? Are you out there? Come on by, SHAKES needs your presence!

Oh, and I hope you feel better Zoe!

Mojito, New Jersey.

Population: ME.

I know doesn't it suck, but the real question is do I.

Quote

Originally posted by UTS:
Mojito, New Jersey.

Population: ME.

Maybe we could be the "Mojito Monitor Board" for a week.

This week, however, is "Opal Nera Nights".

*Gasp*

Quick, somebody send Zoe a new computer!

Or better yet, why don't you move into the Security Office? There's a nice cubicle right beside mine with your name on it!

Seriously, hope your computer gets fixed soon.

And welcome back, STU!

Quote

Originally posted by Fat Cramer:
This week, however, is "Opal Nera Nights".

Sounds good to me.

Pass the bottle.

I think beginning Whiskey Wednesday on Tuesday is a good idea myself!

<glug!>

LOL

I'm starting on a Long (Island Iced Tea) Weekend myself.

Monday would be totally horrible if it weren't for the milk shakes.

Quote

Originally posted by Invisible Brainiac:
Monday would be totally horrible if it weren't for the milk shakes.

*groan*

But do his milk shakes bring all the boys to the yard?

I can teach you, but I'd have to charge.

OK, first beer of the weekend! Who's with me?

Even floating foxlike creatures like beer!

I knew there was something about floating foxlike creatures I liked.

<pours beer>

Here ya go.

<lines up a series of shots>

Who's up for an early Sunday start?

It's Sunday?

<downs shots; sets up next series>

I don't think it's officially the next day until one has actually been to sleep.

Hey, works for me.

*GLUG*

It's still Sunday somewhere in the world!

(I think...

)

Perhaps we can drink to the memory of Sunday? 'Cause I sure ain't waiting five to six more days.

I would if I could remember it.

Well, anyway, to a Sunday I may have had. At some point.

<chugs>

Hello, doing the best I can, oh my God, my teachers are keeping me busy, it's my senior year, there's only 16 days left, leave me be, I have no internet and IB, your so sweet, and you'll be extra sweet when we play with the whip cream.

Look who's back! Where have you been all this time? Why, I don't know what to do with the nuts and chocolate syrup when you're not around!

LW can be so lonely sometimes...

So, where shall we run off to after you graduate?

Be sure to write from you and IB's "senior trip", Zoe.

A toast to both of you and shots for all!

I miss Semi and Vee.

Ditto.

To Semi and Vee, then. <raises glass>

To Semi and Vee!

I miss them both terribly!

I also miss when SHAKES would get ten to fifteen regulars nightly!

I was just thinking about Vee the other day! It's been awhile for he and Semi both.

To them!

Quick! We must post the Semi and Vee signal!

I hope they see how much we miss them!

Is this where a guy can get a good, stiff drink? I've almost forgotten. My memory is hazy...

Hey how about a former employee returning to the fold!!!

All stocked up and ready to serve some drinks!!!

In honor of my return free DRINKS!!!!

Yay!!!

and

Icey (or should that be Frosty now?), you stud! Thanks for the drinks. You're just making your return better and better for the lot of us.

Frosty will be fine its so good to be back and Future we should chat sometime!!!!

I'll join you guys for a nice drink!

Danny, Icey, IB and Future: cheers!

Cheers to all! It's good to be in such great company. So, Icey, what's new since you've been gone?

It's starting to feel like old times again!

Now where's that Space Ranger fellow? Surely not off on another mission?

[UTS sneaks a long drink of the bar's Opal Nera stash, hoping that Arachne doesn't catch him]

*glug*

*glug*

*glug*

[the supply is rapidly being depleted!]

Nice try.

Drat! Foiled again!

Pur me a glass while you've got the bottle.

Here you go!

(And I'm going to have a "Fearless Leader" for myself... Semi made the best drinks!)

Hey gang I need a drink!!!!

Here you go -- a Fellows Martini and a Va-Va-Va-Vee, in honor of the proprietors!

Think I'll just fix myself a boilermaker real quick here.

Welcome back, Frosty.

(glug)

(glug)

(glug)

Oh boy, I feel a sleeping spell coming up again...

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.....................

Poor kid. Trying to keep up with the Cobies and the Miners just isn't healthy.

At least I get something for my effort.

Just keep training, IB. You'll get to their level one day with Miner and Cobes themselves around as examples!

Whoo...can Shakes afford to have all you regulars around again?

Semi's crew must be working overtime!

Quote

Originally posted by Invisible Brainiac:
[QB]

At least I get something for my effort.

QB]

Sure.

If being stripped, spray-painted blue and sent on a one-way rocket trip to the Khunds' homeworld can be described as "something".

Ready for a drink anyone care to join me?

Anytime.

I'll have whatever you're having.

I'm having a beer its good to see ya OM!

I miss my big Bro!!!!!

Its a lonely ol' night........

I'm putting that pole back in!!!!

All by myself.....................

Beer sounds good.

And yeah, we all miss the guys.

Quote

Originally posted by Outdoor Miner:

Quote

Originally posted by Invisible Brainiac:
[QB]

At least I get something for my effort.

QB]

Sure.

If being stripped, spray-painted blue and sent on a one-way rocket trip to the Khunds' homeworld can be described as "something".

Don't forget the "Spank me, I'm a bad boy!" sign I glued to his back...

Next time I want to drink, I'll make sure it's at the Embassy. At least I know I'll be in good hands there.

Man I need a drink. Give me a tall one of whatever she's having. And make it a double in a dirty glass.

Kahlua and Creme please... heavy on the creme...

Rough day.

Need beer.

Relaxed day.

Want brandy.

Brandy for you.

Beer for me.

A toast to your relaxed day, and I hope I can have the same tomorrow.

Jelly Beans and a nice California wine for me thanks.

Rainy day. Stuck on Khundia.

I'll have a hot drink, some paint thinner and a dozen gallons of rocket fuel.

Okay IB!!!! Here ya go!!

SHAKES has paint thinner?

Of course we do!!!!

Evening all, is that an open bottle of Merlot I see there? Gee, if it is could I have a glass or three please?

ahhh thanks

Ahhhh! The lovely Harbinger may I buy you a drink!

Careful you don't give her the paint thinner by mistake.

I'll have a cold beer and a little hair of the dog that bit me.

And anyone else willing to bite me is welcome

I thought you'd never offer Cobie!

You had to now a comment like THAT would get me back here...You all have no idea how much I've missed this place!

Is that offer open to me, Cobie?

Just a little affectionate nip and scratch...

Hey Vee was here yay!!!!!!!

I'll drink to that!

What's going in here?

Is it alright to sing while we drink?

Oh brother!

Bah!

Right.

<dusts off a bottle of Old Mother%&$#er and pours two double shots>

Here. Welcome to Shakes.

More!

<hic!>

I think you've had enough!

Bah!

No such thing at Shakes.

<pours two more double shots>

Enjoy.

<guzzle!>

Oh, all right.

<guzzle>

I felt this would be an nice place for a special post.

I miss you Brent!

So do I, SemiSweets.

Hey Vee good to see ya!!!!

Good to see you back, Vee.

Yeah, good to see you back!

And I miss Semi too!

Another toast to LW's best barkeeps.

New drink; "Pom Wonderful" (pomegranate juice) & vodka.
cheers

Good to have you back, Vee.

And Stoopid Cat too.

And Petey C. too!

("Pom Wonderfuls" are tasty!)

And here's a welcome back toast to Semi!

Most definitely.

A belated welcome back to all! It's good to see Legion World filling up with familiar faces!

OK, election or no election, I am not letting SHAKES fall off the first page.

<pours beer>

Here, let me dust off the bar and tables a little bit. OM is right, we can't let Shakes take the back-seat to elections.

Come in and join the fun everyone!

<lines up shots>

OM, I think you're campaign should consist of doing constant shots and drinking beer. I gladly offer my assistance in doing so.

Here here!

It's open mic night for overworked, sleep-deprived LWers!

[UTS grabs the mic and belts out a few incomprehensible lines of some obscure song]

*hic*

*Pushes the incomprehensible Stu... er, UTS off the stage and grabs the mic*

AND.... I... AM... TELLING YOU... I'M NOT GOOOOOOOOING........

Oh, yes you are.

*shove*

Feeeeelings, nothing more than.....feelings.....

Quote

Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:

OM, I think you're campaign should consist of doing constant shots and drinking beer.

It probably will.

But not here. SHAKES should remain a haven away from the elections. I'll need to set up a separate campaign drinking spot as well.

And thanks for the offer of assistance. No, where was I? Right.

...Tryyying to forget myyyyyy.....feelings of luuuuuvvv....

I'm baack...
hahahahaha

Me too...

Welcome back

<sets up a few shots>

Cheers!

Cheers to KinetixgreenZoe's return!

Here's to hopefully more former posters coming back in the upcoming days!

Quote

Originally posted by Outdoor Miner:
Oh, yes you are.

*shove*

Feeeeelings, nothing more than.....feelings.....

Here's a karaoke performance dedicated to the cats of the LW community:

Felines... nothing more than... felines...

I just got back from a road trip and I need a screwdriver.

Flathead or phillipshead?

yuck, yuck, yuck! I just crack me up!

Here let me get everyone another round.

What a mess! I better clean up in here and turn this back into a real bar. I think I'll start with the triple marine varnished authentic antique swinging saloon doors.

Anyone for martinis? I'm pouring!

I would like whatever variety of drink is appropriate for giant robotic lesbians.

Welcome back Semi! A martini it is!

Quote

Originally posted by Giant Robotic Lesbian:
I would like whatever variety of drink is appropriate for giant robotic lesbians.

How about a chilled 3 oz. of 10W40 in a tin funnel, garnished with a lug-nut? And btw, welcome to SHAKES, Giant Robotic Lesbian. I don't believe that I've ever had the pleasure of serving you before.

That sounds great Semi! It's good to have you back

So, how's things?

Hey Cobie! Did you notice the table lamps in the quiet corner to the left of the fireplace? They're miniature statues of Cobalt Kid with art glass lamp shades. Not only do they raise the elegance of the joint a notch or two, they remind me of you last New Year's eve.

Here's your 'tini.

Quote

Originally posted by Semi Transparent Fellow:

Quote

Originally posted by Giant Robotic Lesbian:
[b] I would like whatever variety of drink is appropriate for giant robotic lesbians.

How about a chilled 3 oz. of 10W40 in a tin funnel, garnished with a lug-nut? And btw, welcome to SHAKES, Giant Robotic Lesbian. I don't believe that I've ever had the pleasure of serving you before.[/b]

I'm almost loathe to say this, but-- I find you rather charming for a male of the species.

How did you know the way to a giant robotic lesbian's heart is through copious quantities of 10W40?

Thanks Giant Robtic Lesbian. But, shucks, any decent bartender knows what the customers like. Another 10W40? (I stocked up.)

New Year's Eve was a blast

Quote

Originally posted by Semi Transparent Fellow:
Thanks Giant Robtic Lesbian. But, shucks, any decent bartender knows what the customers like. Another 10W40? (I stocked up.)

Do you have any beer?

No, no-- I don't want the beer itself.

But a couple of those kegs would just hit the spot.

Quote

Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
New Year's Eve was a blast

Apparently so. Those miniature statues with the art glass lamp shades are naked.

GRL, how about a "Gas Guzzler", straight from the pump.

Sorry, I don't let anything that's shaped like that and squirting noxious liquids come anywhere near me.

Forgive me, GRL. I wasn't thinking. Here, I don't usually do this, but that keg's on me.

Evening, Semi. Evening, GRL and Cobie.

I hear we've got martinis at the ready. Mind if I join in?

I've got 3 lined up for you, Miner.

That keg is indeed on you.

Quite an unusual body shot, but I'll try anything once.

Hmm never been here before.

Can I have a rootbeer float?

3?

You are the man, Semi.

One to knock back in a toast to your stopping by, then, and the others to savor with tonight's company.

Quote

Originally posted by Giant Robotic Lesbian:
That keg is indeed on you.

Quite an unusual body shot, but I'll try anything once.

OUCH!

Quote

Originally posted by ActorLad:
Hmm never been here before.

Can I have a rootbeer float?

Only an alcoholic one.

Unless you are underaged, or an alt ID.

Welcome ActorLad, enjoy!

And good to see you enjoying yourself Gia, I haven't seen you out in awhile!

Another martini Semi, or should I switch to Manhattens before I have anymore?

I'm neither, I just choose not to drink alcohol.

Suspiciously, the letters in your name include "ALT."

Are you sure you're not an alt ID of Sanity or Madness??

No, I'm absolutely 100% a real ID. If I wasn't all the times I've talked to, played chess, played checkers/draughts, etc with SoM would be beyond strange.

Quote

Originally posted by ActorLad:
Hmm never been here before.

Can I have a rootbeer float?

Thespians are always welcome. Rootbeer float coming right up.

Cobie, stick with Martini's tonight.

Quite busy in here today...that's good to see!

It's nice to also see Semi and GRL around these parts again! Actor Lad, a hearty welcome as well to SHAKES! Don't worry about not drinking, just take a seat and enjoy the social life.

[STU helps self to a breakfast martini]

Today is was a pain in the ass give me your strongest.

Could I please see some form of ID?

If you're underaged, the "strongest" would be a Shirley Temple!

Zoe-K-G, what would you like? I'm not sure that UTS works here. I don't recall hiring him.

Hey Semi (((((((Semi))))))))

hey icey. how about a night-cap?

Any recommendations on something mild to drink for a lunch break?

Frangelico on the rocks would hit the spot for me right about now

I just tried Frangelico for the first time the other day, and it tasted very good.

Still, nothing like a bourbon on the rocks mid-day.

Hmm, perhaps bourbon IS the way to go today! Now if only SHAKES had a delivery service for when we're all at work.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm........

Quote

Originally posted by Semi Transparent Fellow:
I'm not sure that UTS works here. I don't recall hiring him.

Oh, don't mind me. I'm just sacking out here behind the bar while the Inn is being converted to UTS campaign headquarters!

(I'm running for Official Legion World Bouncer.)

It's gonna be a long night.

May as well grab a bottle of Maker's Mark to help me through.

<pours shot>

I'm drinking for LW tonight.

And to keep this on the front page where it belongs.

[chugs beer]

I'm doing it for the children!

what's everyone having?

I'll have a Fellows Martini in honor of your impending 3400th post!

coming right up. (I didn't notice, now that I'm no longer a contender.)

[CHUG]

Now, I'd like a Fearless Leader, please!

(Note to Vee, Quis, and whomever might be elected the next LW Leader: I'm keepin' this one!

)

ahh, your official drink, in commemoration of your splendid and rather brilliant reign as Legion World Leader. That will always be your drink, no matter who leads LW.

Awwww!

I can feel the love here, but not the booze, I need another.

Now that it's summer, I needed a project. So I had a floating outdoor pool added to the back of SHAKES. There's a great deck with umbrellas and lounge chairs, and a spectacular unobstructed view of Mount Eruptus. Come in your swimsuits (or none, if you prefer) and enjoy the sunshine and your favorite summer drink. (Please note that you must cover up inside SHAKES, but not at the pool). Enjoy.

I've also added new pool serving droids programmed with the life-guard protocol. Please welcome Spitz and Bitsy, each sporting a unique SHAKES glitter thong.

Love the idea, SemiSweets! We really needed a pool deck around LW for fun tropical nights of drinking. How about instead of SHAKES BAR and SWELL OUTDOOR POOL we call it SHAKES TAVERN and GRILLE YOURSELF BY OUR SWELL OUTDOOR POOL

Well, your suggestion is definitely clever, but it's quite a mouthful.

I'd love to hang out and enjoy the scenery just don't expect me to get in the pool. Fat white man who can't swim. Hell for that matter PETA would probably be trying to push me into the pool thinking I had beached myself.

Everybody's welcome at the pool and you don't have to swim (few ever do). It's nice just to cool off in the water seated by the pool bar. How about a mango margarita?

Now if I can convince him to put the pole back in!!!!!!!

Damn, sorry Icey, I donated the dance pole to Shameless Hussies Bar down the road.

Um, what's the address of this other establishment?

<splash!>

Ah, the water is nice...

And a margarita while resting in the pool makes it just a bit nicer...

CANNONBALL!

~SPLASH~

Stu is that a banana in your shorts?

*gulp*

I just hope KOKO's not around!

A round of drinks for everyone in honor of SoM and OM, our new Leader & Deputy Leader!

[picks up entire keg, and downs contents]

*CHUG*

I want to honor them again and again...!

*hic*

Oh, I'm honored.

I'm also thirsty and in need of a post-campaign brew.

<pours beer>

Thanks to everyone who voted!

Anybody starting their long weekend early? I've got 4 days off.

Only three days for me, but I'm hoping to make the most of them.

This place looks amusing we should change the name to Glorith's Place.............

Your Loyal Queen

Not gonna happen.

But while you're here, would you like a drink?

Happy 4th of July to all American Legion Worlders today!

A round of brew for all of us. I'll pick up the tab in a desperate attempt to help my popularity increase and win people over!

Future, have you started some early campaigning for the next election? All this flinging free drinks around...

It is never too early to start flinging the free drinks around.

Just looking to make friends first and foremost, Ms. Cramer!

I'll leave the politickin' to Miner and SoM.

Since politickin' should = drinking in a utopian world, I kind of like this non-campaign!

Here's a quick rundown of my previous night: all day picnic with family, another picnic with friends, another picnic with friends close to home, leave car there (too much beer

), all nighter at the casino, McDonalds as the sun came up, and then ready to go to the beach, but it was raining. So now I got a little sleep and will prob see Spider-Man 2.

A nice end to the 4th of July weekend!

You sure know how ta party, Cobie!

Woo hoo!!!

SHAKES is joining the birthday party!!!

Now the only question is, who's gonna take the LW Birthday spanking... and who's gonna do the honors!?!?

Dear Patrons,

Apparently SHAKES has been conscripted as the headquarters of the Legion World birthday party. That's all I know. The powers that be have decreed it. I guess I'll find out as you do.

Your humble (not really) bartender.

Hey, what kind of party is it where nobody comes to the bar. You guys got a bootlegger with better prices?

Maybe we need to remind them that the drinks are free at SHAKES ~ always have been, always will be!

I dunno, Vee. Maybe we should start skimming a little off the top for that off-world trip we used to talk about.

When will this place be renamed Glorith's? I hearby declare it CLOSED until such a time as the name is changed.

Hey Sugar-lips, you can't go closing establishments that don't belong to you. I think I understand. You feel lonely, unwanted - nobody's paying any attention to you. Well that's what we're here for - to listen to your problems. Pull up a seat at the bar and tell me your tale of woe. And while I'm listening, I'll fix you your own special drink - a Despotini. Enjoy, gorgeous!

Ah, SHAKES - solving the world's problems through mutual respect, tolerance, and massive quantities of alcohol.

Speaking of which, howzabout pouring me a cold one?

How about an Eruptus Lager - that's SHAKES very own signature brew.

Sounds utterly enticing. What's in it?

It's a micro-brew with a distinct but pleasing flavor, with a good head. You have to be careful, though, because the foam can act up unexpectedly. I suggest you drink it quickly and order another.

Sounds intriguing. I'll have three.

GAWD this is some (hiccup) shtufft (hiccup)

Good morni....?????????????

Is that Glorith I see passed out under that bar stool?

I believe so. It appears power-driven conquers are human, after all!

Glorith is Queen little Varalent.

Glorith, how about another Despotini?

Sorry Glorith ol' girl, there's only one Queen in my life and that Connie. I'd be careful if I was you, she has a very possesive streak in her and can be quite cunning and vicious if she thinks someone is attempting to take her place.

Besides, even if you were a queen, a fallacy to which I do not subscribe, an Empress would outrank you and Emerald Empress is one of my closest friends.

I am a Queen feeble humans such as Varalent and Future could not understand.

You were much more fun when you were drinking.

Mr Miner please give me a drink and a hot dog. Glorith likes her hot dogs.

We don't serve hot dogs here, but another Despotini coming right up.

Hey Miner, how about an Eruptus Lager?

You know, the Eruptus wasn't at all bad, but I could swear the head on the second one tried to rise up and bite me.

I'll have another three, please.

Three is a good order. They're best chugged in rapid succession.

<chug>
<chug>
<chug>

Aaaah.

You're right. They don't have time to get mad that way.

I'm glad you're doing the experimenting. I don't think I'd like to find out for myself.

Opal Nera, Arachne?

But of course.

I'm doing it all for Legion World.

Opal Nera in a clean glass for Arachne. And another three Eruptus Lagers (or is that Lager Erupti) for you Miner?

Sounds good, Semi.

So, how's everybody been?

I've been pretty good. I'm trying to set 7:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m. aside each evening to work on a novel. Unfortunately, here I am procrastinating on LW.

I know the feeling.

I've got some writing of my own I'd like to do, but I just can't get it started.

The blank pages are the worst. For me it's artist's block, though. I've hardly drawn a thing in a month.

It's especially hard when you just know the Nobel Prize committee is impatiently awaiting that first draft.

*Sigh*

Well, here's to inspiration, and working through the blocks. <raises glass>

Didn't James Joyce write drunk?

His stuff reads like he was on mushrooms, but you could be right.

A toast to all in good luck! I understand about writer and artist blocks and hope you all find your way out. I was an apsiring writer as a teen for years, but got into a block that I've never fully gotten out of yet.

I know what you mean, Arachne! I'd love to get more art out but nothing is really coming out to me when I stare at a blank page this summer.

Here's to blank pages - may we never run out of them.

And the 1000th Reply

Congratulations to Semi and SHAKES! 1,000 posts served.

And 1,000 beers consumed.

*hic*

Isn't it more like 3-thousand-and-something drinks served? Does anyone remember the post count on SHAKES version 1.0 before the software pulled the plug on it?

The orginal SHAKES had 4099 posts before we had to shut it down. It just got too big and it started losing posts. So I guess that's over 4000 drinks served.

SemiSweets you forgot to account for the fact that our clientel usually consumes drinks by the dozen. I figure we've got to be approaching the 10,000 drinks served mark by now (and thats being conservative

)

How could I forget. Miner usually orders three at a time. And Stu - well he just lies down behind the bar under the draft tap and opens his mouth. I recall one time he drained two kegs before we made him go lie in his doggy bed.

Ah, how times change. Now UTS can actually sit at the bar.

Well, until about the third or fourth glass, anyway.

He still drools though.

Where is that little puppy-rat-changeable ex-leader guy?

In the cellar, most likely.

Quote

Originally posted by Invisible Brainiac:
In the cellar, most likely.

...chugging casks of wine and kegs of beer probably

Wait...why aren't we with him?

'cause there's cobwebs down there!

Regardless, it's safe to say that our puppy/duck/bizarro friend is drunk *somewhere*

Just passing through.

Quote

: Originally posted by Arachne:

'cause there's cobwebs down there!

I would have thought you of all people would have been the least bothered by that.

Well, someone better go down there and bring STU back up soon. A little day-light will do him good.

Any recommended drinks for today, Semi?

Vodka martini. shaken, not stirred.

Pool's open. We're serving frozen mango margaritas at the pool bar. So swim up to the bar and enjoy.

Ah, the water is nice.

And the swim up bar is even nicer...

Here's your mango margarita, Cobie. Looks like you are the only one here -- except for those naked blond nymphets, playing with the beach ball in the deep end of the pool.....

Ah, I didn't see those...

I'll give them some practice in ball handling...

Careful they don't pull your swim trunks down.

What I wouldn't give for some swim trunks right now...

Hey Semi, want to go for a swim?

And then...maybe we could......?

Hey, make sure you take good care of that body! No bruises!

<splash!!!>

Oh, and I'm not changing bodies. I like this one.

Wait till Cobie finds out what his body's doing over here!!!

Hey what happened to the beach ball?

Maybe somebody's mind is trapped inside the beach ball!!!

(Takes a double take at what Cobie's body is doing in the pool)

Who knew I could bend like that?

But whose? Who could possibly replace all that hot air?

Cobie, keep your hands where we can see them. You're only borrowing that body.

This is one hot body! Since I have no idea whose it is, I'm going to make sure I have as much fun as Vee does!

Now if only I can find another girl!

Quote

Originally posted by Semi Transparent Fellow:
But whose? Who could possibly replace all that hot air?

I can think of at least one possibility

Quote

Originally posted by Kid Cobalt in ?'s Body:
This is one hot body! Since I have no idea whose it is, I'm going to make sure I have as much fun as Vee does!

Now if only I can find another girl!

Then you'll have your work cut out for you!

Oh poor Cobie - that hot body he is borrowing has atracted a hoard of lusty testosterone-spiked alpha-males. He's surrounded. I can't look. Poor Cobie, he's going down - again and again and again.
<shock and horrow, egads!!!>

*BAMF*

GRIFE! I just spent the last half-hour 'porting uncontrollably-- you won't beLIEVE what Beagz keeps in his bathroom!-- and I *still* can't figure out how Gary controls his pow--

*BAMF*

No way! I'm too feminized to ever let these alpha-males take me down!

It's girls like me and Giant Robotic Lesbian that are going to show this male dominated world a thing or two!

(And what the heck is Vee doing in my body now?! I never even heard of that move!)

THAY!

That'th thome pertty imprethive THWORD-thwallowing, Cobeth! 8oO-

Quote

Originally posted by Kid Cobalt in ?'s Body:
(And what the heck is Vee doing in my body now?! I never even heard of that move!)

Learn something new every day!

Quote

Originally posted by Bucky, the Super-Beaver:
THAY!

That'th thome pertty imprethive THWORD-thwallowing, Cobeth! 8oO-

Thanks Bucky! ....Huh? Oh you meant HER? Sorry, I misunderstood you

(Shielding eyes) I don't think it was the swords in the room s/he was swallowing! (Takes a tiny peek, then shields eyes again)

Wait a minute. There's a bug on that woman. Um, surely there's something in the Ten Commandments against THAT.

Ever since turning into a bug, I've lost that really good feeling I was having when I was a girl...the one that made me knees all wobbly!

Damn! And now I feel like making myself dizzy!

*BAMF*

--You think YOU'RE dizzy--! I gotta shut these crazy powers dow--

*BAMF!*

Pov, you've been bamfing non-stop for an hour! How long before you start projectile vomiting?!

<splash!>

I had to ask.

BAck to normal, except now I'm an esquire!

Believe me, being an esquire isn't really normal.

[Arachne walks in and looks around at the mess.]

Nope. I don't want to know.

Pass the brandy.

Luckily the mess is confined to the pool deck. The pool droids are hard at work cleaning it up.

Brandy? Tough day, Arachne?

Just ridiculously humid. I didn't get a thing done.

For a humid day, I'd suggest a light cold drink, not a brandy. How about a tall cool rum and coke?

Sounds good.

Hello everybody,

Just popping in for a quick drink.

It's good to see you again, KGZ! Stop by the boards more often.

Semi, the rum and coke sounds like just the thing for today as well.

Bring meat and mead to Hrun NOW!!!

Say "please".

A tankard of golden mead from our special cask coming right up.

Anyone for a swim and a cuba libre at the pool bar.

Hi there, how yous all been?

Anyone mind if I help myself to a glass of this delightful homemade fresh lemonade ...
yummyumm, you guys have the very bestest bar in the multiverse....

Oops, that's not lemonade. It's lemon oil - I was cleaning the bar.

Quote

Originally posted by Semi Transparent Fellow:
Anyone for a swim and a cuba libre at the pool bar.

A swim and a Cuba Libre sound perfect!

The new outdoor pool certainly beats today's humidity! Ah!

Cuba Libres are so 80's, why not try a Mojito.

Ingredients:
2-3 oz Light rum
Juice of 1 Lime (1 oz)
2 tsp Sugar
2-4 Mint sprigs
Soda water

Mixing instructions:
Lightly muddle the mint and sugar with a splash of soda water in a mixing glass until the sugar dissolve and you smell the mint. Squeeze the lime into the glass, add rum and shake with ice. Strain over cracked ice in a highball glass. Top with soda water, garnish with mint sprig and serve.

aclamaciones!

Well, well, looks like we got ourselves a new bartender. The job's yours if you want it, Petey C. The onlyrequirement besides your obvious knowledge of "now" drinks, is that you participate in shenanigans and hijinks.

Future, swim up to the pool bar and tell us what you want.

*posts on wall near the front door*
Help Wanted: Receptionist

Must fit in with office decor, answer phones, greet clients, and other tasks.

Position requires flexability.

Apply at Quislette's Super Law Firm of Space

<Arrives at bar and sees long line of scantily clad young Legion World residents reading a help-wanted sign. Pushes through crowd and enters SHAKES through triple marine varnished authentic antique swinging saloon doors.>

Anybody need a drink? I'm serving at the pool bar. It's a beautiful day.

Hey Semi! Would you like to help me interview receptionists?

Semi, why don't you & Quislette lounge by the pool & let me serve you for a change? You can interview applicants while doing so.

I'm already stripping down to my speedo.

Semi, are you sure those speedos provide enough coverage?

No, I'm not sure - but that's the whole point of wearing them, isn't it?

Hmm, I think they need a little adjustment...may I?

Awwww! Come on, no need to be shy!

I promise not to watch - much.

Hey, what does a guy have to do to get a Joe n' Johnnie around here?

<and do I really, really, want an answer?

>

Hey, Mr. Quank. Long time no see. Welcome back. Joe n Johnnie coming right up. All you have to do is ask. <BTW, avert your eyes from the swimming pool.> Although I'm now tastefully attired, seems everyone out there is wearing a speedo - even Giant Robotic Lesbian.

"Bring more mead, I have a thirst.

Bring me a slave girl I have a......"

Reaches down and throws a broad headed axe into the dart board, splitting it in two.

"Ha! a bullseye"

Egads, that barbarian looks odd in a speedo. Sorry, we don't serve those who damage the premises. Be a good barbarian and go get a new dart board. Then we'll see about the mead. As for the slave girl, try Shameless Hussies Bar down the street.

Ha! strange see through man, You make Hrun laugh.

Gives huge bear hug.

point me to this shamless hussies you speak of.

And take this for your trouble,

throwing golden crown on table

Shameless Hussies Bar is down the block. It has dancing girls and other delights. It's kind of a rough joint. You'll fit right in.

I shall tell my dragon shipmates of this fine place. Many more barbarians will come to sample your fine hospitality

Gee that's really, er ... swell.

Semi you are mean!

but since I'm here I'd love a half lager tops please.

I don't think I'm mean. I'm just trying to protect my investment. Why with a horde of barbarians running around, who knows what could happen to my triple marine varnished authentic antique swinging saloon doors.

Gah! This heat!

Please tell me there's a cooler around here someplace.

There's a cooler around here someplace.

Great! Pass it over.

Actually, I'm making you a vodka lemonade- vodka, sparkling water and lemonade, in a tall glass with lots of ice.

Sounds like heaven on a night like this.

I'll make you two (and arrange for your safe passage home afterwards).

With service like that it's no wonder SHAKES is the most popular establishment on Legion World.

What a gentlemen, Semi! Way to be.

Hmm...it's night time here and at last cooling down. Perhaps I should get myself out of the pool finally? With the new pool-side bar that's had my attention all week, it's hard to pry myself away.

As nagging as my pruning flesh is!

Here's a towel, Future and some sensibly sized pantaloons (Senor Widebottom took all the humourously oversized ones).

Phew! Thanks, Semi. I don't suppose you have a sensible belt to go with it, would you?

Yes, of course, here's a sensible belt and some mildly adventurous flip-flops to protect your feet.

Mildly adventurous flip-flops really are the best.

When I blow out my flip-flop, I return home to the booze in my blender...since soon it will render that frozen concoction that helps me hang on...

(Jimmy Buffet, anyone?)

I'll have a pint of your best IPA.

<looks down at own body and shrikes>

What the hell is THAT!!!!!!!!!!

Here's a pint of our best IPA (checks vid screen to see what the hell IPA is). Enjoy. <giggles>

INDIA PALE ALE!!!!!!

I'll have one, too

Thanks
I needed that beer, just wait until Faraway Lad sees this.

How am I supposed to tell him his girlfriends a man friend???????

Gilgglebot, maybe I could slip Faraway a bi-beer -- then he wouldn't care.

maybe I should have a bi beer, will that turn me back?

No, a bi-beer won't turn you back - it'll just make you, er... well ... let's just say .... versatile.

<giggle> funny Darden says I can turn my hand to most things

Hey ther Vee and Semi, can you believe your wonderful establishment here (with the authentic brass rubbed whatever it is doors)just fell off of Page One??

Like WTF???

It is quiet in here tonight. Has it been since that new MEAD hall opened that all your normally loyal clientel have taken a night off to try over there? Don't worry guys, it's only going to remind them why there's nowhere like here :phew:

Hey STAFF!!!

Is there anyone here?

<looks around, see there is noone else around and reaches over for a bottle of Rose, twists the top out in one well practiced move and seetles into the comfy lounge chair near the big olde worlde fireplace>

<sits upright with a jolt - you can almost see the lightbulb pop into existance above my head>

***GASP****** has SHAKES been taken over by time freezing aliens just like that old episode of the Twilight Zone?

I don't see any time freezing aliens. BTW, it's "triple-marine varnished authentic antique swinging saloon doors." Rose? A doll like you shouldn't be drinking the cheap stuff. Let me get you an insolent little Pinot to take the edge off the day.

Just like the shopkeeper from Mr Benn you pop up with great grace there Semi. Thank you for the Pinot but I think this one glass will be enough for now.

They are very impressive triple-marine varnished authentic antique swinging saloon doors you have there Semi.

Thanks Harbs, people often comment favourably on my swinging doors.

Why don't you lie by the pool. I'll bring you frozen margarita (with an umbrella). We have complementary umbrellas to protect your porcelain skin from the sun.

Don't mind if I join the two of you for a quick drink myself!

A shot of a nice whiskey and a India Pale Ale might do the trick.

Hey, Cob-ster. Whiskey and IPA (now that I've learned what it is). Why don't you join Harbs by the pool. I'll bring it out.

I've just had IPA last night for the first time, after hearing everyone talking about it here.

Veeeeeery good!

I'll bet you liked it so much because just met that hottie Nema that works for India Pale Ale.

You know, that girl from IPA, Nema!

I love a good pun - the sicker the better.

Whoo. I'll skip the drinks for today and head straight for the pool! What a scorcher.

Semi, I dropped off the sensible sandals and pants behind the bar. Thanks for the loan!

Thanks Future, and double thanks for having them professionally laundered.

No problem. My mother taught me well.

Ah, the pool felt great today. Now, anyone care to join me for a drink?

Free drinks for the next hour! (and the one after that, and after that, and after that ......)

DRINKS!!!!!!

throws axe at dart board. Splitting it in two.

"quick another BARREL of BEER"

Hrun, you're a naughty barbarian. In the future, check your axe at the door. Now run out and get me a new dart board - or I'll drop a leech in your mead.

Is that like the worm in the bottle of tequilla?

Much worse, the leech drinks your booze.

Leech lushes. That would definitely get me to stop.

Stop what? Drinking? <gasp> Never!!!

Nah. I meant it would get me to stop throwing axes at dart boards.

Too many planetary economies depend on my drinking for me to stop now.

Miner, I've never known you to throw an axe at a dart - or even throw a dart for that matter. I always felt you wouldn't want to chance injuring your mug hoisting arm.

There mere mention of Miner stopping his drinking has the stock market in an uproar!

We'll need to increase our intake for a few hours I think, as improbable as that sounds...

I'm game. How about a Gay Goose and tonic for me?

Gay Goose and Gay Gander coming right up.

What horrible world must we live in when we have to drink more to save the economy?

...and more importantly, where can I find said world?

It's Friday - finally! Fun and games all weekend long by the SHAKES outdoor pool.

A Friday fiesta! Sounds good.

Time for speedos again?

Beats loincloths and chainmail.

Quote

Originally posted by Semi Transparent Fellow:
Miner, I've never known you to throw an axe at a dart - or even throw a dart for that matter.

See, the leeches work.

Quote

Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
There mere mention of Miner stopping his drinking has the stock market in an uproar!

I like to shake things up every once in a while. Keeps Greenspan on his toes.

Quote

Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
I've just had IPA last night for the first time, after hearing everyone talking about it here.

Veeeeeery good!

It is isn't it

FYI India Pale Ale was brewed to meet the demands of the British Troops in India for a beer that tasted good in the heat and could stand the long traveling distance from the UK to India. (we had not dicovered lager at that time)

and for the record I liked the version I had in Boston, they were nice.

Anyone care to start the volleyball game in the pool?

<Slips in through a tesseract and sniffs around behind the bar.>

She hasn't been here for a while but Sis has. Maybe I'll check out her place.

<Slips out through another tesseract, never gets anywhere near the pool.>

<chugs beer>

Need to kill this hangover...

Ah, Sunday. <pours cream into shallow bowl and sets it on floor behind the bar>

Welcome back Stoopid Cat.

That.....was a tabby on a mission.

<chugs beer>

I need to get a hangover I can kill.

Could hangover, in this instance, be synonymous with Lori Morning?

That wasn't quite what I had in mind.

You know, whatever else, "Lori Morning" wouldn't be a bad name for a drink.

What do you suggest should be in a Lori Morning? I'm thinking pink grapefruit juice and champagne.

She's a minor, so I would change the champagne to sparkling water or Ginger Ale with a spalsh of Grenandine syrup (for effect)

The reason for my choice was:

Champagne is bubbly
Pink Grapefruit juice is a bit tart

Lori Morning is a bubbly tart.

Besides, we wouldn't be serving her, just our regular customers.

Bubbly tart indeed, Semi!

You should serve the Lori Morning in a SHAKES kiddy cup, just for effect.

Quote

Originally posted by Stoopid Cat:
<Slips in through a tesseract and sniffs around behind the bar.>

She hasn't been here for a while but Sis has. Maybe I'll check out her place.

<Slips out through another tesseract, never gets anywhere near the pool.>

Hrun chases cat, throws hunting knife at it but misses and hits the bar at the side of the pool, Hrun charges through a number of chairs, spilling them into the pool.

"Arghhhhhhhhhhh, I need fur for my pouch!"

Turning in anger he bangs a fist against a wall, leaving a large hole in the wall. then departs, leaving silence and a thin film of dust gently settling on the upturned furniture

Semi is distressed at damage once again. Turns invisible and kicks Hrun squarely in the ass.

Hopefully, the Emerald Empress can stop by and do a quick repair, Semi.

Maybe she could help repair my fallen statue, that has been destroyed once again by Abin Quank and Sanity or Madness? Only someone with her power could fix it...

[bit perplexed at the lack of curiosity over on the STU thread]

What does a guy have to do to get noticed around here, anyway?

Quote

Originally posted by STU:
[bit perplexed at the lack of curiosity over on the STU thread]

What does a guy have to do to get noticed around here, anyway?

Dancing naked on the bar might be good for starters.

[totally embarrassed at missing the Stu thread}

How 'bout a drink for old times sake?

[pout]

NO! Don't wanna.

[/pout]

[STU wonders if he is cute when pouting]

Noticing that STU's lower lip is hanging dangerously low, Semi offers him a toothpick to prop it up.

You were when you were a puppy...

Right. Better puppy than pussy.

Quote

Originally posted by Semi Transparent Fellow:
What do you suggest should be in a Lori Morning? I'm thinking pink grapefruit juice and champagne.

Works for me.

Of course, I'm not exactly your most discriminating customer.

Quote

Originally posted by STU:
What does a guy have to do to get noticed around here, anyway?

Throw an axe at the dart board.

Quote

Originally posted by Hrun the Barbarian:

Quote

Originally posted by Stoopid Cat:
[b] <Slips in through a tesseract and sniffs around behind the bar.>

She hasn't been here for a while but Sis has. Maybe I'll check out her place.

<Slips out through another tesseract, never gets anywhere near the pool.>

Hrun chases cat, throws hunting knife at it but misses and hits the bar at the side of the pool, Hrun charges through a number of chairs, spilling them into the pool.

"Arghhhhhhhhhhh, I need fur for my pouch!"

Turning in anger he bangs a fist against a wall, leaving a large hole in the wall. then departs, leaving silence and a thin film of dust gently settling on the upturned furniture[/b]

**Hissing Cat Laugh***

Hurrumph, Hurn, Hairball, Hrat, (Or whatever your sound effect for a name is today) Was that your axe or your ass you were just throwing around in here? Not that it matters Big-Nose, but if either gets anywhere near me again they'll be permenently joined.

**Hissing Cat Laugh**

A brilliant emerald light flashes through the tavern, repairing all the damage and encases everything with an invisible layer of emerald light armor for protection.

No one, and I mean NO ONE gets away with damaging SHAKES regularly. This barbarian is going to need to learn that or pay the price!

I love it when she gets all domineernig...

Talk about a quick sweep!

Good job, Empress, and thanks for the armor shielding. It'll save Semi some trouble next time axes get hurled!

Persuader

******mEow*****

So it smells like that Stoopid Cat was here not too lomg ago. Probably slinking in to explain why he hasn't been around in a cat's age! Hmmmph! Spit!

Thinks he can just reappear as if he had been here yesterday with no explanation, probably. We'll he's got another think coming!!!!

*****mEow*****

Oh what a Gorgeous Kitty!!

Aachoo! I am so allegic to cats. Not that the sentient ones aren't welcome at SHAKES, it's just that I'm going to have to remember my allergy pills.

Quote

Originally posted by Pagan Lass:
Oh what a [b]Gorgeous Kitty!![/b]

Thanks Pagan Lass, she is a cutie but don't say that so loud. It might go to her head and she's already difficult enough to play human for. Don't tell her I said that or I'm in big trouble!

Quote

Originally posted by Emerald Empress:
A brilliant emerald light flashes through the tavern, repairing all the damage and encases everything with an invisible layer of emerald light armor for protection.

No one, and I mean NO ONE gets away with damaging SHAKES regularly. This barbarian is going to need to learn that or pay the price!

Thanks Empress, you truly are SHAKES' guardian angel. Do you think you could put a Barbarian proof shield over SHAKES. It doesn't have to keep them out, just make it so that when a Barbarian passes through the shield, he gets a bath, a clean speedo and ends up looking like Eddie Cibrian.

Sort of like this [Linked Image]

Just passin' through, grabbin' a brew, and getting this back on Page 1 where it belongs.

Quote

Originally posted by Varalent:

Quote

Originally posted by Pagan Lass:
[b]Oh what a [b]Gorgeous Kitty!![/b]

Thanks Pagan Lass, she is a cutie but don't say that so loud. It might go to her head and she's already difficult enough to play human for. Don't tell her I said that or I'm in big trouble!

[/b]

Vee, you big silly, she's such a sweet little kitty, why I'll bet she's just aching for a chin stroking and a good ear scratch. Be nice to her.

****Mewwww****

What a nice and extremely intelligent lady that Pagan Lass is!! I LIKE her!

****Mewwwww*****

:whizzy:

Quote

Originally posted by Queen Connie:
:whizzy:

Please, Queen Connie -- use the litterbox.

[STU examines the bowl carefully]

Holy cow!

Someone placed a large dose of cat aphrodisiac in here!

But who would want to seduce Connie that badly?

Stoopid Cat...?

My new shot of choice: Rumplemints! (sp?)

Tastes good, and nothing else makes your breath smell instantly incredible at the bar!

Cobie, here's a shot of Rumplemint for you. But wouldn't Scope be cheaper?

Good evening Semi and Vee, it seems a bit quiet in here tonight, I'm just going to help myself to a glass of red and do you mind if I have a turn on the piano?

<H pours herself a glass, goes over to the majestic grand piano on a corner dias and starts to play her favourite luvvin' song, Camille Yarbourg's 'Take yo' Praise'>

Wow, Harbinger! You're piano playing has sure set the lovin' mood right. I always knew you were a class act!

I'm happy to stop by and give this thread a little boost! A drink of whatever Cobie just had, please! Let's see if I can find an alternative to toothpaste for the evening...

Drawn in by the heavenly sounds of Harbinger on piano, Miss Terious sits at the bar and orders a full glass of Merlot.

Perhaps Harbinger will play Tori Amos as well?

Quote

Originally posted by Semi Transparent Fellow:
Cobie, here's a shot of Rumplemint for you. But wouldn't Scope be cheaper?

And faster, too.

Harbinger, you play piano beautifully.

Can you show me what to do with this flute?

I'm in the mood for a very cold Margarita with extra salt on the glass rim.

Here you go!

And one for me, too.

*CHUG*

Harbi, your paino playing is just so soothing...

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ...........

Quote

Originally posted by STU:
[STU examines the bowl carefully]

Holy cow!

Someone placed a large dose of cat aphrodisiac in here!

But who would want to seduce Connie that badly?

Stoopid Cat...?

**Purr**

<Silent Cat Laughter>

Getting desperate STU????

**Purr**

Quote

Originally posted by Harbinger:
Good evening Semi and Vee, it seems a bit quiet in here tonight, I'm just going to help myself to a glass of red and do you mind if I have a turn on the piano?

<H pours herself a glass, goes over to the majestic grand piano on a corner dias and starts to play her favourite luvvin' song, Camille Yarbourg's 'Take yo' Praise'>

**Purr**

<Rubs against Harbinger's legs, glances upward expectantly>

**Purr**

Dirty old cat!

You never seem to rub against her legs, glancing upward, when she's NOT wearing a skirt!

[STU helps himself to a Fellows Martini]

Hm! Not nearly as good as when Semi makes it, but not bad!

Quote

Originally posted by Stoopid Cat:
<Wearied and bloody from his recent battle with Hrun, Stoopid Cat slips silently into SHAKES and refreshes himself

So tell us, Stoopid Cat, did you do some serious damage to that barbarian? Here, let me refill your bowl.

Semi, congrats on SHAKES hitting the 1200 posts milestone!

Thanks Future. You know, I didn't even notice - I seldom notice individual thread milestones. But I guess I made the 1200th post - serendipitous, that.

Most certainly!

And don't worry, the only reason I even noticed was that I had just read about STU's milestone on his own thread.

With the pool at the Villa still in disrepair from flying axes, I'll take my evening swim here. It's a bit more crowded, but I like this crowd.

The oiled and polished swing doors slam open and following the trail of the bloodied cat Hrun runs into Shakes.

“Now you feline devil, you shall be mine”

Running into the storeroom where SC is sleeping Hrun raises mighty Elfwine his war axe and brings it down towards Stoopid Cats head.

**hiss**

Stoopid Cats reactions save him just in time as he leaps to one side and Hruns axe destroys the Keg of fine brandy that SC was sleeping on.

Immediately Stoopid Cat leaps to the attack, his razor sharp claws slicing deep into Hruns hand.

Howling in pain, Hrun drops Elfwine. But he swiftly reacts with a backhanded blow that knocks the heroic cat backwards.

Spitting and hissing Stoopid cat starts to arch his back and actually grow in size till he almost fills the small storeroom. Now the size of a small lion SC launches himself at Hrun.

The blow makes Hrun and SC stagger backwards and through the wall of the storeroom in to the main room at Shakes.

On and on the battle raged, with Hruns mighty fists battering into the lion sized Cat. But Stoopid Cat gives as good as he gets and soon Hruns body is covered in deep deep scratches, his blood bright red dripping on the carpet.

Finally Hrun gains the upper hand for a moment and catching hold of SC throws him bodily into the pool.

Driven to a berserker rage, Hrun leaps after Stoopid Cat, a hunting knife in his hand. The pool erupts in a flurry of red tinged foam.

Stoopid Cat leaps from the pool and activates a tesseract, diving through it, SC vanishes.

Hrun slowly climbs out of the pool. He holds aloft his hand, grasping his prize. A piece of fur from Stoopid Cats back.

“Tis still not enough” Hrun roars “To make the pouch I need more fur. Come Elfwine”

And with that before any one can stop him, he too dives through the fast closing tesseract followed by his axe and vanishes.

Emerald Empress, are you around. We need you to cast a cleaning spell over the pool. Also, bring your vapours. Poor Fat Cramer got caught in the midst of a nasty to-do between Stoopid Cat and Hrun. That Stoopid Cat is quite a brawler, it turns out.

Yuck! Where's the shower in this place?

An emerald glow begins to coalesce and suddenly the Empress appears followed by her Eye of Ekron. Looking around SHAKES and seeing all the damage to her most favored of all places, Empress concentrates for a moment and a brilliant burst of emerald energy floods out in all directions. When it dissipates, the battle damage has been repaired and the pool cleansed. Anyone walking into SHAKES at this point would think that nothing had occurred, until they saw the look of rage on Empress' face!

Enough! That barbarian has damaged SHAKES for the very last time. He's now going to learn that it's never a good idea to piss me off!

With that, the Eye explodes in emerald fire and the Empress and Eye disappear from view.

Good morning, everyone. I got a call that there was another disturbance--WTF?! What happened to the pool?!

I'm glad EE was able to fix things, they're getting out of hand. It might be time for the Security Office to offer another solution to this ongoing problem...

In the meantime, I'll help myself to a Manhatten--something that always gets the brain flowing.

Things do seem to be getting a bit out of hand with Hrun's exploits.

Perhaps we should all just pitch in and buy him a fur pouch? It would save Stoopid Cat some grief!

I was thinking about dropping in for a drink but maybe I should wait over here for the cleanup crew to finish tidying up.

But while I'm here and you mentioned fur, might I interest you in the Primary Color Gang's Fall Catalog of Super Suit Accessories and Villianous Paraphenelia?
(we cater to a "niche" market)

* hey, a Kid's gotta make a living *

Quote

Originally posted by Yellow Kid:
But while I'm here and you mentioned fur, might I interest you in the [b]Primary Color Gang's Fall Catalog of Super Suit Accessories and Villianous Paraphenelia?
(we cater to a "niche" market)

* hey, a Kid's gotta make a living *[/b]

Are your accessories limited to the primary colors (red, blue and yellow) or can we select from the secondary colors as well? The well dressed super-hero is wise to accessorize using the primary color's complement. Myself, I think yellow and purple are particularly fetching, don't you? Cerulean blue and pale orange are also pleasing. Have you thought of setting up a shop?

Quote

Originally posted by Emerald Empress:
An emerald glow begins to coalesce and suddenly the Empress appears followed by her Eye of Ekron. Looking around SHAKES and seeing all the damage to her most favored of all places, Empress concentrates for a moment and a brilliant burst of emerald energy floods out in all directions. When it dissipates, the battle damage has been repaired and the pool cleansed. Anyone walking into SHAKES at this point would think that nothing had occurred, until they saw the look of rage on Empress' face!

[b] Enough! That barbarian has damaged SHAKES for the very last time. He's now going to learn that it's never a good idea to piss me off!

With that, the Eye explodes in emerald fire and the Empress and Eye disappear from view.[/b]

Thanks Empress. The pool looks great, and Fat Cramer just sparkles. As usual, Empress, you're a doll!

You'll notice that I've posted a sign stating that SHAKES is now under the official protection of the Emerald Empress. Vandals beware!

Quote

Originally posted by Future:
Things do seem to be getting a bit out of hand with Hrun's exploits.

Perhaps we should all just pitch in and buy him a fur pouch? It would save Stoopid Cat some grief!

Perhaps we should just shave a little fur off Hrun while he's sleeping and make it into a pouch for him. We'll just pretend it's pussy fur. Barbarians really can't tell the difference.

Quote

Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
Good morning, everyone. I got a call that there was another disturbance--WTF?! What happened to the pool?!

I'm glad EE was able to fix things, they're getting out of hand. It might be time for the Security Office to offer another solution to this ongoing problem...

In the meantime, I'll help myself to a Manhatten--something that always gets the brain flowing.

Cobie, maybe you could co-ordinate your security plans for SHAKES with the Emerald Empress. After all, she is now our official protector.

Come on in, Stoopid Cat. We don't blame you. You'll be safe at SHAKES. The Emerald Empress now officially protects the place. Here's a bowl of clotted cream - the very best.

**Purr**

Thanks Semi!

**Purr**

SC, you're a mighty brawler. I think you might have caused Hrun some serious damage, not the least of which was to his ego.

Well of course you can accessorize with a wide range of colors, patterns and designs. When Gay Green Giant hung up "her" spandex and opened a Meta-Human Fashion Boutique the world may have lost a mediocre reformed-villian-turned-hero but it gained a superior Super Hero apparel designer.

- sigh - I do sometimes miss the old bank robbing days of our not-so-innocent-youth.

Believe it or not we've stolen far more money legally as business persons than we ever ripped off with our super powers.

Doesn't that figure?

Tell me YK, did any of the Primary Colors Gang remain criminal?

Subtle investigation technique there, CK.

What in the world is going on? Empress is is on a search & destroy mission throughout Legion World and Queen Connie is fit to be tied. I had to forbid her leaving the Villa. She wants a piece of Hrun's hide equivalent in size to the amount of her tail fur that he sheared off. Seemes she doesn't think she got nearly enough in return with her claws!

I've never seen her in such a state, nor Empress for that matter. The two of them are stalking Hrun and I would hate to be near him when either of them find him.

Quote

Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:

Tell me YK, did any of the Primary Colors Gang remain criminal?

In the long run - no.

The original Red Rascal died during a herioc attempt to rescue a little old lady's social security check from heavy rush hour traffic.
It was horrible...and it was NOT a mugging gone wrong no matter what the official Sci-Pol records have to say about it. - really-

Blue Cheese Lad now owns a successful chain of specialty salad shops called Green*Bucks. Gay Green Giant is a world reknowned fashion designer (I almost thought we were being attacked by a rival superhero group at "her" last runway show, there were SO many beautiful costumes).
I manage most of our investment portfolioes and direct the sales staff. I tell you it's just amazing how much disposable wealth those guys in Takron-Galtos have tucked away here and there. Why they're an absolute goldmine.

Sounds good YK! I hadn't heard about Red Arthur, I'll mourn for him.

Good to hear Blue Cheese Lad and Gay Green Giant are doing great!

And it's good to see you back as an active LMBer again, even as your making a ton of money on the side.

Vee, its seems Hrun is amassing quite a lot of angry females looking for him. I only hope he hears about my previous offer to him and Stoopid Cat before he's caught--and then makes the right decision.

I'd like to propose that SHAKES develop a drink called an "Emerald Empress" in honour of the valiant lady protecting this excellent establishment. What would go in it, I leave to the expert bartenders.

I believe I once had a bartending friend mix up a drink with the vague specifications "make it green." It can be done as I recall, though to be honest I myself did not drink the thing. We gave it to a friend who really needed a drink.

I think the Emerald Empress would like:

3 oz. Heradura Silver tequila
3 oz. fresh lime juice
splash of Roses lime
1 oz.Midori Melon liqueur

served over crushed ice and garnished with a green cocktail cherry.

Or failing that, there's always green beer like on St. Paddy's day.

I went to Savannah for St. Patrick's day several times and never once got served any green beer so I always felt a little cheated.

Quote

Originally posted by Semi Transparent Fellow:
I think the Emerald Empress would like:

3 oz. Heradura Silver tequila
3 oz. fresh lime juice
splash of Roses lime
1 oz.Midori Melon liqueur

served over crushed ice and garnished with a green cocktail cherry.

I'll have the same, minus the Midori and cherry... No, maybe a double.

Without the midori, it's just a margarita. The green cocktail cherry symbolizes the eye.

That's okay. I can do without the eye-strain

Quote

Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
Vee, its seems Hrun is amassing quite a lot of angry females looking for him.

If he keeps this up, he'll break your record.

[yawn]

How can a rose be a lime?

I'd ask for an opal nera but it would just knock me out faster.

Quote

Originally posted by Outdoor Miner:

Quote

Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
[b]Vee, its seems Hrun is amassing quite a lot of angry females looking for him.

If he keeps this up, he'll break your record.[/b]

That's why I count on you to get my drunk, OM! This way, I can't remember when they find me...

Cobie, since when have you ever needed help getting drunk?

Well, never, but the knowledge that Miner has been drinking steadily for 83 pages (and many before that) give welcome encouragment

Miner's a SHAKES stalwart, that's for sure. Here, have a gin and tonic.

Cobie, did I ever tell you about my family? I've got several brothers and a sister.

Semi Transport Fellow,
Semi Transmutate Fellow,
Semi Transgender LassLad,
Semi Tranference Fellow
Semi Transmission Fellow, and
Semi Transatlantic Filly

Can you guess what their powers are?

I've seen your cousin at the Silicon Valley Philharmonic:

Semi Conductor

That's a pretty large family, Semi! Semi Transmutate Fellow seems especially interesting...

BTW, I remember months back about the secret of one extra secret unrevealed super-power that you have. Did this ever leak out?

Hello, hope you haven't gotten too drunk without me.

SPLASH!!!!!

Semi lands in the pool as the three Griffins drop him off.

(see hruns hall of vallhalla thread)

Without waiting the Griffins fly back.

Stoopid Cat sneaks out from under a table and looks at Semi climbing out of the pool.

**Hiss**

It's time - no more Mr. Nice Cat - Hrumbf's gone too far.

<A silvery glow surrounds Stoopid Cat and he begins to morph into a new form. Within the space of a few seconds the black and white Tom-Cat is gone and a large - Very Large - Siberian Tiger stands in his place.>

All those centuries of watching STU's various transformations have paid off.

<Opens Tesseract entrance, leaps into Tesseract System>

**ROAR**

Fortunately, I am able to selectively utilize the powers of my siblings in times of dire need. Calling upon upon the skills of Semi Transmute Fellow, I can fall into poop and literally come out smelling like roses. As I passed through the tesseract, I transmuted the clinging traces of cat poop to H2O, and actually came out cleaner than when I was so unceremoniously dropped into the pile. I then used Semi Transatlantic Filly's power to be in two places at once, to remain inside Hrun's Valhalla Hall and when the guards backs were turned, kick them into the pile of poop.

Interesting...

Is this the previously unmentioned power? To channel the powers of other family members?

And hey Zoe, lookin' good

Quote

Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
And hey Zoe, lookin' good

What he said.

I sure could go for a cold one or three. It's so nice outside I can't stand it.

Oh, alright. A barkeep's job is never done (even when he's moonlighting helping the forces of good reign in the destructive Barbarian binge). <Big Smile

>. Why, good afternoon Mr. Shakespeare. Three cold ones coming right up. Glass or bottle?

Kent was just here to flirt. But I'll take whatever's on tap if it's cold and beer.

Did you know it's not legal in Atlanta for one guy to order a pitcher of beer in a bar?

Sorry matlock, I was looking at KS's avatar and reading your message (the perils of not having an avatar). Of course the cold one's are for you. My apologies.

No sweat, if Kent comes in pour him one on me. I'm feeling pretty sociable today.

Quote

Originally posted by matlock:
Kent was just here to flirt. But I'll take whatever's on tap if it's cold and beer.

Did you know it's not legal in Atlanta for one guy to order a pitcher of beer in a bar?

Matlock, I'll accept the beer, but I'll pass on the flirt, if you don't mind.

Just 'cause you're also from Georgia doesn't mean I'm interested in your peaches.

Slow down there cowboy! You were second-hand flirting with Zoe. I flirt with you not, cause I ain't feeling that sociable.

Them's some peaches! Now don't you two go brawling over a friendly little misunderstanding.

If you don't want my peaches honey, please don't shake my tree... I think that's from the song Matchbox by Carl Perkins?

Anyway, get a few beers in me and I get friendly but not, you know, too friendly.

I'm actually reminded on a Steve Miller tune, but we'll split the diference, and I'll buy the next round.

And one for bartender extraordinaire, the Semi from San!

Wow, so much tension in here. Speaking of which college prices were raised and I need something to forget my troubles.

Yeh, I finally posted 200. Sara said I wasn't committed enough to do so. Showed her. I'm so plastered.

~teh heh~

let be buy you a drink to celebrate!

How sweet, thanks Kent.

Congrats on the milestone, KGZ. I'll drink myself in celebration of that.

Quote

Originally posted by Kent Shakespeare:
And one for bartender extraordinaire, the Semi from San!

Please tell me this is not a reference to "The Nanny"...

I'd like a mojito martini, please, to kick start the day.

Quote

Originally posted by STU:

Quote

Originally posted by Kent Shakespeare:
[b]And one for bartender extraordinaire, the Semi from San!

Please tell me this is not a reference to "The Nanny"...

[/b]

It's not, actually.
Semi is from San Fran, according to his info. Just trying to be alliterative, not invoking Green Yenta.

all right.

It's margarita time!

YEH! Margaritas!!!

allow me to pour for m'lady!

Ever the gentleman.

only in public.

Well that doesn't sound too promising.

only a jest, m'lady!

Zoe, don't worry, you'll find a way to pay for college, no matter how expensive it gets. But it sure will stress you out!

I'll start my day (at four in the afternoon) with a little hair of the dog that bit me...(bourboon!)

sounds good. I'll join you.

Mead! I need Mead quick

If you promise to be good, I'll glad fill and refill your mug with our finest mead.

Just water for me.

No, I kid, make mine tornado. I'm in the mood for fun.

Fa-shizel my izel.

I had to say that.

The only water that sounds good at SHAKES is the liquid in the pool! Refreshing!

<chugs beer>

The only cure for Monday is seeing double.

I thought there was a hard-boiled cop in here, looking for clues and counting the hours until his retirement ... but he must be on the phone to his wife.

At least life at SHAKES seems to have returned to its congenially sozzled routine, quite pleasant and peaceful.

I'm staking out the place from inside a booth... The empties and the overflowing ashtray are, umm, camoflage.

>hic!<

Me too.

<chug>

Legion World has the most elite & incognito security ever!

Kind of like those big guys in Hawaiian shirts at Disney World or other theme parks, walking around in their baseball caps and shades and speaking into an obviously out of place black headset.

Only ours have beer in their hands to confuse the enemy, natch.

in the words of Douglas Adams:

"It ain't easy being a cop"

Buddy o mine was by yesterday with a bottle of Mezcal (tequila).

Just finishing up the leftover (a glass-full)... should I eat the worm?

Sure.

Always wondered what would happen if you did. Let us know the results!

Ask the worm. If it answers, don't eat it. And switch to coffee.

Mmm, coffee...

I'm going to the beach, I'm going to drown, but at least I can spit wine in the fire.

Ah, SHAKES!

Which reminds me, I need to stock up on drinks for my forthcoming road trip. Though alcohol really wouldn't mix well with driving.

No, but as long as your on an abandoned road with no one else, everyone but you should be fine.

The scary thing is, half the roads I'll be driving on probably WILL be deserted/abandoned.

Ah, ye olde Idaho...

In unrelated form, how're things for you today, Semi?

Where are you off to Future?

Going back to school in Idaho.

A long drive from Florida (which is looking more likely to become a plane ride instead), with not too many exciting stops save for Atlanta, Memphis, and Denver.

Good luck for the coming year. What are you studying?

Psychology, though my biggest thing this semester will be my advertising minor that I'm starting. Four classes dedicated to the subject alone on top of my other courses for the next four months. Drake would be proud.

Idaho's a LONG way from O-Town Future.

Been meaning to ask how did you make out with Charley? I know you didn't loose power for too long. Hope there wasn't much damage.

Yes, sir, a VERY long way. 5 days of straight driving, so a 5-hour flight does not sound bad at all right now.

I came through the storm luckier than it seems like anyone else did in the area. Never lost power and no external damages save for some tree limbs, but of all things, that stupid fence behind our house DID get knocked down! Which works out, since I'd rather not have to take a pick-axe out there and do it myself.

That thing was hideous.

How're repairs going on your side? The water damage to your home wasn't too bad, was it?

Wow, that's SOME drive!

Then you might as well enjoy the drinking now, Future - and lay off the bottle when it comes time to leave! Somebody fix this man a drink!

Okay, here's a margarita for Future. And what can I get the birthday lady? Some champagne, perhaps?

Ah, with drinks like this, why bother driving anywhere at all?

Thanks to all for the kind words about the trip...but the day belongs to our birthday lady, FC!

I think I'll take a dip in the "fresh and clean" pool, wearing my official LW speedo. Our special uv dissipators filter out any harmful rays over the pool area, allowing for a safe tan.

I don't need a tan, but a camera to remember every moment that you are in your speedos would be nice.

Kono would be proud.

I'd like an Arachnetini, followed by a Round-Up, please!

And then a Bloody Bloke and a Frozen Volcano!

And top it off with a Blaine Blaster, and I think that'll just about do it!

That's going to take some fixin'. Coming right up.

*HIC*

Thanksh, Shemi...!

Aww...drunkeness, it's just a beautiful thing, when you have a designated driver.

Thankfully we have Stoopid Cat's tesseract system now, and nobody has to drive home from SHAKES.

That's a good thing, but does it mean Outdoor Miner's taxi teleportation service will go out of business?

Either way, at least drunken Legion Worlders can always get safely home!

I wasn't aware that Miner ran a taxi teleportation service. Probably just as well given the amount of alcohol he consumes each time he visits SHAKES. I have a cellar labelled "Miner's Stash" just so I won't run out of his favorites.

Umm, Semi have you looked in there lately? I think Miner found that stash and wiped it out already!

Rats. I thought it was rats. Better holo-mail another requisition to the LCBLW. (Liquor Control Board of Legion World).

At least it wasn't rats, or else I would come here and scream like a wild woman everytime I want a drink.

A simple raise of the eyes and a flutter of those eyelashes will get my attention just as well. What may I get you, KGZ?

Bloody Mary, oh God, head splitting, only your alcoholic beverages will cure it.

Here, drink this tall glass of water first, and then this one, and this one. Then go float in the pool and relax. Forget the bloody mary. I'll bring you a margarita later.

Ahh...what a sweetheart.

I better change into my bathing suit first.

You better wear a swim suit because Giant Robotic Lesbian has been hanging out at the pool. She's kind of between crusades. I don't think she really knows what to do next. Just sort of sits there and ... well, rusts.

Awwww. Can't somebody build Giant Robotic Life Partner or something? That's just sad.

I've tried to get her interested in starting a flannel factory or a tofu farm, but even those sure fire saphic pastimes don't interest her. I'm bewildered. She can't be suffering from the depression associated with LBD (lesbian bed death) because she doesn't have a partner. Who knows? Perhaps a photo-manip of Martha Raye in the nude might help. It's worth a shot.

I need a shot after having the image of Martha Raye naked wedged into my brain. Jim Beam, please hurry.

Here's that Jim Beam - up or rocks?

Straight up, maybe a water chaser. I don't do many shots these days.

Go relax in the pool. I'll bring it out to you, matlock. And mind KZG. Don't dunk her. She's nursing a headache.

I tried making out with GRL, which usually gets her on the warpath, and all she did was slip me toungue.

Now I'm truly scared.

Kind of leaves a bitter metallic taste in your mouth, eh?

That had to have been one large, metallic tongue! You know, the whole Giant Robot bit and all.

It's a miracle you survived, Cobie!

Maybe I should forget about my headache then and nurse Cobie back to health?

He'd like that.

The cure pretty much is the disease in Cobie's case, but what the heck.

I'd probably only be adding flames to the fire?

Maybe I should let him writh in his pain? Hmm...

Ah, a cruel streak. He'd probably enjoy that too.

Well, it's a precaution. Knowing Cobie, he'll go kiss GRL again just so he can get the cure over and over.

So your saying, that if I were to be a cruel bitch, he would still find that sexy, interesting...

Cobie finds just about anything sexy and a turn on. That's why we love him

Indeed. Chances stand half his heroic fundraisers are really just to put horse-whips into the hands of cruel, naughty gals!

Quote

Originally posted by Semi Transparent Fellow:
Rats. I thought it was rats.

It was. StuRats!

How 'bout a Bolt and a Sweet Caroline in honor of LW's favorite Founding couple?

Oh, and I'll have another margarita.

I'd love a cup of English morning Tea please, just a dash of milk.

And I'll be over on the piano if thats ok?

<wanders over to Piano and practices Scissor Sisters 'Laura' in a vain bid to be prepared to impress her students on Monday with her hip and trendy musicianship>

A cruel streak in bed can be fun sometimes

Although I'll have to let you know KZG, that I can get pretty rough too...

I think I'll start the day with a Margaritta, as the summer comes to an end...

To the end of summer!

...because believe it or not, I REALLY, REALLY want to be back at school right now. So the faster this week goes by, the better!

Uhh, I'm dreading my first day at college. I'm so nervous, maybe I better not have any liquids.

KZG, you're going to get more nervous every day until it happens, and it still won't go away for awhile. But don't worry, eventually you won't want to leave

I was a total wreck my first day at school--I didn't know ANYONE. Eventually it went away and the fun began, and each year just became more and more of a blast!

Sentients, I would like a Red Ranger, and my special seat cushion please.

Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Comfort for both ends)

KGZ, Cobie speaks the truth! I had never even been to my campus until the day I enrolled! THAT was nerve-wrecking...not to mention moving to a rather bland state like Idaho...but it was worth it.

It quickly turns around and you'll meet dozens of awesome, interesting people. As stated, the more time goes by, the more fun you have.

I'd like to meet new people, but unfortunately I know half the student body, my high school chums (enemies) mostly attend Fullerton JC.

But Cindy will be there, even though she got Finicial Aid and I didn't (damn, poor midget...)

My first day at college was a blast!

First I got attacked by a bat in my dorm room. Later I went to take a shower, left my keys in the room and ended up getting locked out. My roomate was asleep when I left, and must have got up and left while I was in the shower. I had to go down to the front desk wearing only a towel to get them to send somebody up to unlock the room for me.

Hope yours goes better than mine did KGZ!

Quote

Originally posted by Space Ranger:
Sentients, I would like a Red Ranger, and my special seat cushion please.

Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Comfort for both ends)

Ranger, welcome back from your cosmic wandering. Hold on a minute while I inflate the donut. There you go. Have a seat. One Red Ranger coming right up. Tell us of your travels.

Not much to tell, Semi, I was trapped in the mousehole dimension for several months after the aborted altID Revolt. Then a few days ago a talking cat from the 35th century appeared and showed me the way back to legion world. Now, Cobie's put me on probation and SoM's offered me Cobie's job...

I need another drink... and maybe a few Foot Long Chili-Sauerkraut Bratwurst Specials with Michelob Chasers.

Thanks for the cushion.

Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Oh, and a table down wind)

Ranger, given your condition, I'd lay off the Foot Long Chili-Sauerkraut Bratwurst Specials.

Semi, I haven't had anything to eat in months, what do you suggest?

Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Maybe several wildebeast steaks... Danny's place is right next door... Well it was the last time I was here)

Wow, you'd better consult with Legion World's nutritionist. This is a job for --- Fat Cramer. She'll get you back in shape in no time.

Thanks Semi! I think I'll pop over to Cramey's place right Now!

Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Maybe a Moosejaw sammich)

Ohh...a man in shape, maybe I can help Fat Cramer on this one.

Page 91? SHAKES is becoming a novel!

It's been a good read so far, that's for sure!

Quote

Originally posted by Fat Cramer:
Page 91? SHAKES is becoming a novel!

Remember that this is the postboot SHAKES tho

Sanity!

SHAKES is one of the strongest traditions of Legion World

And with that, I'll start the day with a bourbon on the rocks!

I just got here. Someone wanna tell me what I missed?

Oh and barkeep, I'll have a Jack and Ginger Ale.

Lots of drinking, lots of goofing around and lots of fun. You'll fit in here just perfect!

(SHAKES is owned by Semi and Varalent, and is the finest bar on Legion World!)

Quote

Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
Sanity!

Didn\'t Orko turn you into a flowerpot?

Madness!

Must have been yet another guy standing next to me! How 'bout a drink, SoM?

No, it was you. Flowerpot was even made out of cobalt, it seems.

But, I'm perfectly fine! It hit that other guy next to me, the Braalian with a cobalt-encased suit. Weird, huh?

How about a drink, fearless leader?

You forgot to say "Madness!"

Welcome to SHAKES Loser Lad! I have a feeling that you'll quickly become a fixture around here!

Here's your Jack & Ginger. And Cobie, here's that bourbon on the rocks you asked for.

Man I could use something to make me forget about this hangover.

I hear this Spanish Fly stuff is supposed to be good for hangovers...

well it gave me a buzz tonight.

(checks to make syre Vee isn't looking)

I'll have one of those!

Checks to make sure that she that IB has enough boose, so she can manipulate him to come over to her place.

Does this tavern have any Orandi mead?

Of course we do Perfectra! Did you want that in a flagon or tankard?

That sounds interesting. I'll try some, too!

Gimme a Boilermaker barkeep. I had a rough day to the office.

Give me a BEER. I need it after the day I have had.

(I may need more later tonight if Newcastle dont win the footy)

Hey put that one on my tab Vee.

What do you mean I'm cut off?!? I swear I'll pay you on Tuesday!

Loser, we don't charge for drinks at SHAKES. Never have, never will.

Really? Then how come every time I come in here I leave with no money in my pockets?

Hey, where'd KGZ go all of the sudden? Hey, come back here with my wallet!

Evening, folks.

I see Loser's having fun tonight.

Could somebody get a bug a beer?

Of course. But you're not just any bug, you're LW's top bug. And at SHAKES, you're Mr. Bug to those that don't know you as Miner.

"They call me Mr. Bug!"

I'll have a... what's the signature drink for OM, anyway? I'll have one of those.

I'm newborn but legal - bourbon, please!

Quote

Originally posted by KinetixgreenZoe:
Checks to make sure that she that IB has enough boose, so she can manipulate him to come over to her place.

Baby, I don't have to be drunk to want to come to you.

Ah, the horny teen years - I miss them so! Motherhood has aged me.

And I'm in a very submissive mode right now, so that makes things easier.

*ahem*

Oh, HI Zoe!

Quote

Originally posted by Semi Transparent Fellow:
Loser, we don't charge for drinks at SHAKES. Never have, never will.

It's gotta be pretty expensive to run an establishment like SHAKES without charging for drinks. Do you get a government grant or are you privately funded? Either way you must be pretty well endowed to be able to afford it.

Speaking of well endowed, I bet you can afford HUGE debts, yourself, Lou *wink, wink*

I have one of the largest debts of anyone on Legion World.

Waitaminute. That can't be a good thing, can it?

Pov told me his is BIGGER!

He's been peeking at my statements again, hasn't he?

He was just checking your balance.

It's the RISING cost of (your) INFLATION that concerns me, Lou.

That's the one good thing about Legion World. There are always such high Interest Rates.

Come see me during my office hours and we'll discuss diversifying your portfolio, if you know what I mean.

Quote

Originally posted by STU:

I'll have a... what's the signature drink for OM, anyway? I'll have one of those.

It's beer.

Good ol' fashioned beer.

Quote

Originally posted by Loser Lad:
It's gotta be pretty expensive to run an establishment like SHAKES without charging for drinks. Do you get a government grant or are you privately funded?

Not to worry, LL. It's handled.

Good to hear Miner. SHAKES is just too cool. I'd hate to see anything happen to it.

Barkeep, a round of Cement Mixers for my friends here!

*snicker*

No need to fear about SHAKES's safety, Loser Lad! We've got the Emerald Empress watching over us in case anything should happen.

Cool. I thought for a minute I was just hallucinating that big green eyeball floating above the pool table.

You were.

Semi,

given the damage caused in the past and the fear of things to come, may I offer you the protection of these 100 Varangian spearman? they are very well trained and only require a daily beer ration.

Quote

Originally posted by Outdoor Miner:
You were.

D'oh! Time to up my meds again!

What, those better be prescribed you druggie.

Oh they're prescribed. I thought it was a little odd to get a prescription from a guy in the back of a van downtown, but they seen to be doing the trick...

Aaah! Did anybody else see that thing?!?

That's it I'm taking you to the Betty Ford Center...of Space.

Quote

Originally posted by Outdoor Miner:

Quote

Originally posted by STU:
[b]
I'll have a... what's the signature drink for OM, anyway? I'll have one of those.

It's beer.

Good ol' fashioned beer.[/b]

A beer company once tried to have OM be it's spokesperson. He drank all their beer and put them out of business. He's my hero.

I call it a Miner Threat -- it's like a sake bomb, but instead of sake, the shot glass just contains more beer...

Cheers!

Frasier!

Oh, wait, this isn't the word-association thread...

Quote

Originally posted by Loser Lad:
Aaah! Did anybody else see that thing?!?

You mean the green, squid-like deal with the quivering tentacles?

Nope, didn't see it.

Quote

Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
A beer company once tried to have OM be it's spokesperson. He drank all their beer and put them out of business. He's my hero.

They wanted me to endorse their light beer.

*Light* beer.

That's like asking Ted Nugent to do an add for tofu.

whats "light" beer?

Light beer is like pee without the marking your territory part.

so when are you coming over to the old country to taste the "real" stuff Des?

OOPS! I thought that question was for me, Darden - my mistake *wink, wink*

Dreamer,

You can come over here to taste the real stuff anytime you like.

do you like draught or bottles?

I think she likes it straight from the tap, Far!

I think I like this woman

If she ever gets over here, I can take her to a few brewery taps

Are you boys offering to tap my keg?

Offering? I think we're insisting on it!

Ya know, believe it or not, I'm not nearly this forward or pursued in real life. Is it any wonder I'm a posting whore?

In real life women won't even talk to me.

That's because men with large penises are intimidating face-to-face.

I usually don't put it in their face right away...

FACE to face, not...

Oh, heavens, nevermind...

Well-endowed men can be so obtuse.

We can be, but it's all a part of our charm.

Well, that and the huge packages, of course.

Lou...

Huge...

I'd say gigantic.

I'm sorry. You're right, it's gigantic!

I'm always right, it's my gift and my boobs, no need to tell us yours, it obvious when I tilt my head down.

Quote

Originally posted by Faraway Lad:
so when are you coming over to the old country to taste the "real" stuff Des?

Hopefully sometime soon! Then you can show me what a real pub is supposed to look like.

Is a real pub like one of those building with 60 year old hookers that make crappy jokes and smoke cheap cigarettes?

Three's Company had an American-version pub called the Regal Beagle!

Oh, Try. I've been meaning to talk to you.

Quote

Originally posted by KinetixgreenZoe:
Is a real pub like one of those building with 60 year old hookers that make crappy jokes and smoke cheap cigarettes?

You're confusing "pub" with "government office".

You're probably right.

Well, it was so quiet in here that we had to close down for a few days before the long weekend festivities. You'll notice that we've spruced up the place. The bar has a new coat of wax, the floors postively gleam and the pool sparkles. There should be lots of fun and games in the pool and pool-side throughout the weekend. Don't forget the tea-dance on the pool deck each day starting at 3:00 each afternoon. Drinks are half price (which makes them still free

)

You may notice that your propietor has taken on a new name. Many thanks to Miss T for suggesting it. (But how did she know ....?

)

Oh, wow, I love the new SHAKES. Excellent work, Semi. How did we ever survive this past week without this place?

C'mon guys, time to get that tea-dance on the pool deck started early.

Dance, allright, but I can get a little wild.

Wow! You even left the JWB next to the coffee machine. Thanks Semi (oh Titantic One!

)

Raven's dancing? And I missed it?!?

*pops another quarter into the jukebox*

What song should I play Rave?

My Neck, My Back

Dances erotically, never touching a pole, but as for her body, that's a different story.

How much for a table dance?

You don't have that kind of money.

Oh, I don't know about that...

Take Visa? How about Master Card?

And were are you going to slide them?

I think I could come up with a place...

Begins to give Loser a lap dance.

Watches Loser melt...

YES!

Does this place have a VIP room?!?

Watches Abin double post.

The slaps him and steals his wallet

Then quickly takes the credit cards.

~tee-hee~

Dang!

I been set up!

By a double post!

Splits the take with RavenArcanna...

Kisses Abin, runs to the jukebox, kicks it.

All the money comes out, scoops it up and runs before she get's caught.

Is that really appropriate behavior for a Security Officer?

Returns, realizing that she's a security officer and has immunity. Looks at the jukebox, makes Loser fix it and tells him "I'll lock you in a dungeon and you'll only get some from my homosexual dog if you don't do a good job."

Sorry, the correct answer was "Yep! Legion World Security Officers are above the law!"...

FIX THE DAMN MACHINE OR THERE WON'T BE ANY BLOOD LEFT IN YOUR BODY!!!

Yes ma'am.

*fixes machine*

Good boy, wanna play, does the good boy want to play fetch?

Hey just because I can turn into a dog now doesn't mean you have to treat me like one. I have my dignity damnit!

Ooh! Is that a Milkbone?!?

If you lie on your back I'll suck on a big stick.

Yes ma'am...

I'll be quiet, I don't slurp. I just suck in everything.

Oops. You dribbled some on your shirt. Better get that to the cleaners.

But my bra is lace...just take it off.

Yes ma'am.

Sings: Rocky Mountains, can you climb the rocky mountians...

Hoo boy!

Some party, eh Semi?

Yeah, sorry about all the damage. I'll have a crew sent over to help with the clean up...

If you threaten Loser enough, he will fix any mess.

I think I'll just have a Fellows Martini and a Va-Va-Va-Vee in honor of SHAKES's proprietors, and in the hopes that Vee is safe and sound.

Me too, I've been really worried about our Floridians.

A toast to Vee, Healex, and the rest in Florida!

It appears that the party got a little frisky. Serves me right for taking the weekend off. I'm going to have to install the "chaperone protocol" in the serving droids. Babette and Troy may be a bit too sexy to pull it off though. I think I might need a Kathy Bates droid. That'll scare anybody.

In honor of Vee weathering the storm unscathed, all drinks are free (as ususal).

Kathy Bates droid sounds like she'd fit right in here, actually.

I'm a big fan of Kathy Bates, so I'll hang out here!

Meanwhile, an orange juice on ice,please, if there's any oranges left in Florida.

Yeh, for Kathy Bates, Apple-Cranberry flavored water, for me thank you.

There's a Kathy Bates droid now? Didn't we already have a Giant Robotic Lesbian around here somewhere?!?

More posts from GRL, please!

Ever since "Waterboy", Kathy Bates has been a favorite of mine too. Gotta love her.

She was awesome in Waterboy! Then again, just about everybody was awesome in Waterboy!!! Even L.T. "Which brings me to my next point. Don't smoke crack!"

God I loved that movie...

Agreed! I'm watching it this week with my roommates to help kick off football season "just right".

Hmm. What kind of football season events is SHAKES planning? I'd hate to ask for more when we already have the swell outdoor pool and dance parties now.

I'll cheer for you privately Future, but you can't tell anyone.

Kathy Bates is awesome. My favorite performance from her is definatley from 'Misery'.

I'll just stop in quick for a drink. I'm a bit bummed out right now about my personnel life...no one ever said love would be this hard.

Um dude, they've been writing songs about how hard love is for like, thousands of years. Where have you been?

Anyhow, have a seat and tell Lou all about it.

(Looks over somewhat concernedly at Cobie)

1500!

I'll be OK guys...just not right now

All this mania here has gotten me to stick around a bit longer though...

I'd forgotten just how much fun LMB Elections really were. Especially when I'm not running!

Whew!!! Finally made it, even with all the interuptions in electric service!

And SHAKES is by far the most appropriate place for my post #

<marquee behavior=alternate>6000!!!</marquee>

Congrats on the milestone Vee!

I mentioned it at work, but they said we couldn't close early to celebrate.

Hmm... A few more posts and I'll be half the man Vee is!

Way to go VEE!!!

(P.S. Quis, I need you to stock up on the Bi-Beer! If I can seduce Cobalt Kid, I can get Miss T's vote in the election!)

Hmmmm, perhaps with Bi-Beer I can win Crulith's vote as well!

Sticks around to mingle with the owners & patrons of SHAKES!

It'll need to be a fairly large glass of bi-beer if you are gonna distract me from Matty, Loser, Cobie and Gary.

Hmmm... seems like I should have more men on my plate, so to speak

Abin, Prime, matlarrk, Actor, Future, Scooter, Vee, Quis, DrakeChase, IB, Kolefyre, & rdstr2 are all dangerously delicious, as well! Oh, I'm sure I can think of more!

....Like Eryk & Lashkins!

Congratulations, Vee. SHAKES is certainly the most appropriate place for your 6000th thread since you made this place what it is today. Looking forward to your 7000th, 8000th, 9000th, and well you know the rest.

Oh, speak of yummy men and they magically appear! Like Semi T and Dove-Em!

Hm, Kippers and Miss T wanted to have me try some new drink, so I guess I'll give it a try!

Just to make sure it's nothing too crazy, I'm going to make sure EDE accidently drinks it too!

Here you go, Cobie! And one for Eryk and one for me too!

*GLUG GLUG GLUG*

Here Miss T, try this! It's pretty good!

Wow, everyone should try this! What's it called, Kippers?

It's called Trans-fo-brau.

I would offer you another, but one is really all it takes.

I'm still preggers, Cobie Bear. I'll just sit back and enjoy the company of 3 strong men enjoying themselves...

in conversation and beer, of course!

Mm, it's going down smooth.

I wonder if Eryk will be enjoying his. And why do you think Lash will be glad EDE is trying this, KP?

Wow, what a party in here! I'll skip on the bi-beer for now, but I wanted to make sure I gave Vee a hearty congrats on hitting 6,000!

A toast to all contending in this next election. Best of luck!

Quote

Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
Mm, it's going down smooth.

I wonder if Eryk will be enjoying his. And why do you think Lash will be glad EDE is trying this, KP?

It really depends on what EDE decides to do with the temporary power Trans-fo-brau grants him. Oops! Did I say temporary power?

Quote

Originally posted by Jesse Future:
Wow, what a party in here! I'll skip on the bi-beer for now, but I wanted to make sure I gave Vee a hearty congrats on hitting 6,000!

A toast to all contending in this next election. Best of luck!

Thanks, Future! But Trans-fo-brau isn't Bi-beer! It's both more and less powerful...

Wow, I'm actually starting to feel all giggly...

Have you been working out Kippers?

I think I'll sit down and have another.

Well, I did install a workout room in my quarters! So yeah, I have been <flexes a bit>

Or maybe the Erection Election?

Race to the Poles?

No, wait! I've got it. I'll call it The Anti-Bush Campaign!

Oh, my... the boys aren't speaking anymore. It's certainly not a kitty that's got their tongues

What the ding dong #@$$!! have I walked into? Bartender, double vodka gimlet & a gin chaser!

Thanks

Dr. Gimlet, you've just walked into the usual shenanigans and witty repartee that characterize a slow afternoon in SHAKES. Double gimlet coming right up.

Thanks mate. You're a pretty okay nass-bag in my book, Semi

Service just goes to hell when I'm not around, doesn't it. Here's your glass of merlot, Miss T. I hope you helped yourself while I was out. Most everyone does.

Could I have some fresh squeezed apple juice, I'm low on vitamins.

The great thing about this joint is I get to make my own vodka gimlets.

Can I get a redbull and vodaka here? I need a pick me up.

Apple juice for the lady of the lake, if she's still here, a gimlet for the good Doctor, and a redbull and vodka for rdstr2? (Is "rdstr" short for "red star" or "roadster"? I don't know nuthin' 'bout Teen Titans.)

Quote

Originally posted by Semi Titanic Fellow:
(Is "rdstr" short for "red star" or "roadster"? I don't know nuthin' 'bout Teen Titans.)[/QB]

Red Star. Miss T came up with that for me.

Thanks for the drink. Wonder if I could make this a sno cone?

Miss T has come up with a whole slew of names. She came up with my reboot name. Maybe she can parlay that talent into a respectable LW profession.

That or LW matchamker

Another round for everyone Semi!

Semi Titanic Fellow:
Apple juice for the lady of the lake, if she's still here, a gimlet for the good Doctor, and a redbull and vodka for rdstr2? (Is "rdstr" short for "red star" or "roadster"? I don't know nuthin' 'bout Teen Titans.)[/QUOTE]

Semi, I never leave. But could I have some red wine now, please?

Viviane, here's a glass of pinot noir for you. You are over 21, right?

No.

If it helps, I'll look the other way

Oops, we can't promote violation of the laws, even virtual violations. How about a diet pepsi?

I thought the drinking age was 18 on Legion World?

Although we all defer to you Semi, as this is your fine establishment

Someone break out the Legion World Constitution!

Now THAT has to be one interesting read.

Big thank yous to Semi T & rdstr2 for the props! Extra fun fact: I suggested Dove Em to Dev Em too.

I tried to get to Viv & Abin too but they chose their own alts and, frankly, I like their ideas better. So maybe I ain't the shizznite after all

Anyone wanna watch this faboo vid called The Anti-Bush Campaign? It's unfinished but well worth a peek

In terms of drinking age, can i suggest we just teleport the bar over to the faraway sector of Legion World. The legal drinking age there is based on UK law and so is 18.

That should cover it.

I have a real world concern about this, that I'd be glad to share in a pm. That said, the drinking age in SHAKES remains at 21.

I am a priestess dammit! Give me an ice water and give it to me NOW!

We have self-serve for those who throw temper-tantrums.

I wish bartenders in the real world worked like that.

That would be so cool. I throw no temper tantrum, I'm just cranky, I slept till 2:00 and now I have a headache.

Mike Ock would like a drink.

Hmmmm, Semi T must be on a break. I can't wait to see him as I've got a lot of missed fawning time to make up for. He's such a snicker doodle!

Semi definitely deserves his rest from all the hard-work he puts into SHAKES. Thus, the new self-serve bar and the Kathy Bates droid!

While Semi T enjoys his break, I'll tend bar! Hope I don't make too many boo-boos

I have an easy one, Apple Juice.

And here's the drink for Mike Ock. Welcome to SHAKES!

Well, the self-serve seems to work well in limited circumstances. But truth be told, there's nothing quite like a flesh and blood bartender to tell your woes to.

And looks who's just blown in! Vee! Welcome back, stranger. I hope you brought the sunshine with you.

Vee, I dunno if you really want to be serving Mike Ock.

Quiet in here tonight. Everybody must be at that party I didn't get invited to.

Hoo boy, you missed a heck of a bash Semi. Hope you don't mind that I brought a few friends back with me!

Can I get a 7 & 7 and a round of vodka shots for my friends from the Russian Gymnastics team?

RUSSIANS?!?

I'm post-Russian (It's now officially considered the Ukraine).

Can I have some Cider?

Nothing wrong with Russian Gymnasts! Dang, they're flexible!

I take that means you have been watching them "perform."

What can I say. They needed a spotter.

Are you flexible?

No, but I appreciate flexibility in others.

Are you sturdy?

I try to be.

They need sturdy men, you know, for when they need a lift up.

Yes. They sure do.

And you can lift them up, all the way up, to the point where they don't need to go any higher, your that kind of man?

Just what are you getting at here...?

You know where I'm getting at, are you that kind of man?

Sure, yeah, why not...

(Breathing heavily) Then...be a dear, get me something to cool off, and I'll show you something no Russian woman can do.

Check please!

(breathing fanatically) Have you ever seen my Isle at night, no, then I insist, you must.

I'll hail a cab...

Thank you darling (grabs coat and runs to the door)

*Grrrrr*

Quote

Originally posted by HighPriestessViviane:
(breathing fanatically)

I'll have what she's having.

stuey, is that you? what has become of you?

No business again. It's been empty in here for two days. At this rate, we'd go out of business, if we had to count on selling drinks for our income. Oh, well, with no customers, at least I can clean the place in the nude.

Err, I'll come back later. Pine-Sol and nudity are a scary mix.

hey Semi, need any help?

Thankfully, I have my invisibility powers intact, despite the name change. I'm transparent from the belly button down. Modesty is still my calling card.

Rdstr2, here's a mop.

mopping away sir! what should i do with those passed out drunks in the corner?

Oh that's just Stoopid cat and puppy Stu. They like to sleep behind the bar sometimes when the sun's too hot by the pool.

You've been working pretty hard Rdstr2. Why don't you take a break by the pool. I'll bring you out a margarita. Don't mind Giant Robotic Lesbian, she seems to have taken up a permanent position beside the diving board at the deep end. It gives her a better view of the ladies' synchro swim team that practices here on Tuesdays.

Nice, I could use some sun and a nice cold margarita sounds great. No salt please.

Hi gang, I'm just popping in for a quick practice on the piano. Anyone mind if I try my hand at a Nat King Cole style rendition of Let There Be Love? No? good.

<sits at piano, stretches fingers, takes deep breath and begins>

Let there be you
Let there be me
Let there be oysters under the Sea

Hi Harbs, what can I get you? A tall cool gin and tonic? Be right with you after I take this margarita, no salt, out to rdstr2 by the pool.

Love the song. It makes me feel all romantic and stuff.

Quote

Originally posted by Semi Titanic Fellow:
Oh that's just Stoopid cat and puppy Stu.

[Bill Clinton]

I did not have sex with that feline!

[/Bill Clinton]

Nobody said you did. You were just cuddling.

That song was lovely 'binger. It's always so nice to have you playing the piano here at SHAKES. It adds so much to the ambiance.

Submarine races in the pool! Winner gets a free margarita and back-rub by Giant Robotic Lesbian.

Cool I am in! Can I have the blue one?

rdstr2, I can always count on you to open up the bar. Yes, of course you can have the blue one - mask that is. We don't use real or toy submarines. It's actually an underwater race that you participate in. Since you're the first one here, you get dibs on lanes and you can practice beforehand. I'd lay off the margs, though, until after the race.

Hmmmm, I don't have a submarine Semi T - just these pontoons! I'd be happy to act as eye candy for the Giant Robotic Lesbian.

Miss T, you don't need a submarine - just the ability to swim the length of our olympic pool underwater.

I'll take the middle lane.

Miss T, should I wear my full body suit or the speedos?

Oh, sorry, I didn't tell you guys and gals - only speedos and bikinis allowed.

The I guess it is me in my speedo!

Now that is something you don't want to see everyday...may casue someone to faint away!

Miss T, bring your smelling salts.

Just stopping in for a drink at my favorite establishment. I hope everyone is doing well!

It was Harbinger's lovely voice that drew me in...

I fainted from seeing Vu in his speedos! Now that's a floatation device I could enjoy grabbing on to!

I LOVE your new name & avi Semi R! Yay, Sun Boy!

Thanks Miss T, your binki is very nice and show off your assets well

[while everyone is busy swimming, STU quickly drains all the margaritas]

Hmmmnn, looks like we're going to have a drunk puppy again. Better fix his bed behind the bar.

I like drunken puppies, there so cute and they bite anyone you tell them to.

Puppy STU doesn't bite, but he does have some naughty habits.

Naughty habits, such as...I need to know if I should watch where I step.

don't forget to leave the door open so there won't be anything we have to mop up in the morning.

good idea rdstr2.

I guess I will be watching where I step.

naw, Stu's not that kind of naughty dog. He's a sniffer, if you know what I mean.

Sniffer, you mean like, he'll want to sniff my muffin. Is that what you mean?

Well, some things are best left unsaid.

Ahh, let me go put on some pants, I'll be back.

Stu will sniff at anything and anybody

Actually, STU is a very sophisticated and classy guy. Don't mistake him for his puppy persona. STU has had many identities in LW, the puppy being just one of them - although one of the most adorable. We love STU.

my apologies, i didn't mean to offend anyone

What is on the agenda today semi?

On the agenda for today is a cook-out by the pool, followed by the usual tea dance starting at 3. The grill is halibut and mahi-mahi with fresh papaya and pineapple salsa. The margaritas are frozen, or on the rocks, whichever you prefer. The inflatable rafts are in the pool and it's a gorgeous day.

God I love this place! The mahi is divine and the frozen margs are heaven.

Meanwhile I'm wearing my new halter one-piece and strappy sandals. Oh, and a giant hat too - must protect from Semi's radiant gaze!

Miss T, one day we'll have to have a hot pants, tube top, and go-go boots day. (One day when Giant Robotic Lesbian isn't here, that is. I'd hate to see her in that get-up.)

My boots ARE made for walking...

Semi, you sure know how to entertain...now I am just gonna float in the pool.

And I'm just going to sit here and relax in the sun and enjoy my 4000th post. I felt like I was in the 3000's longer than Monel was in the Phantom Zone.

Congratulations on the post count Semi. I'm sure I can speak for us all when I say we're all looking forward to the next 4,000 witty, warm and wonderful posts from you

Bxx

Yes, Congrats!

Way to go Semi! Drinks all around, my treat!

Congratulations from a Priestess and her Goddess, Semi!!!

Hey, I'll drink to that. Grand congrats to you, Semi!

Thanks for adding to this board and taking care of SHAKES for us!

Semi does do a wonderful job at maintaining this place.

Semi is great.

Congrats Semi

Here's to another 4,000, all of which will probably make me smile!

It's amazing how SHAKES has become such a mainstay topic at LW for the last year. One of these days I'm going to have to read through both threads for old times sake! (Although the missing posts from the first thread will always be lost to us--especially Harbinger and me doing body shots!)

Cheers Semi R! Any green drinks you know of?

Congrats Semi!

Everyone of those posts were full of semi sweetness!

We want more!

Thanks guys and gals, it's my pleasure to be here with all of you.

For today's special entertainment, we're having a wet t-shirt contest. Everybody gets to play. I'll go first. Who wants to throw this bucket of water at me?

Well since I'm a space nun now I shan't be entering the contest; therefore, I would be happy to cast the water upon you, hon!

Splish-splash hope you win!

Brrrr, that was cold! Boy, this t-shirt is clingy.

Nice sixpack, Semi R! You could tune in Tokyo with those nips too

Thanks, E.L.L. Nun or not, you're next. SPLASH!

Oh my...what fun. But who will judge the this wetest shirt of all contest?

Why don't you judge, Viviane?

Me? I'm so honored! I can't thank you enough!!!

Let's see some wet shirts!!!

We seem to be lacking contestants. Why don't you see if you can drum up some business? Your help would be greatly appreciated.

Ok...I'll give it a go...

WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!! WHOOOOO!!!

Quote

Originally posted by Semi Radiant Fellow:
Brrrr, that was cold! Boy, this t-shirt is clingy.

I want pics.

Pics, you have to particpate first!

*SPLASH*

I'll have to put a shirt on first before I can get it wet...

KP, take off your armor. We don't want you to rust.

Here's a t-shirt for you.

And here's one for you too, Cobie. What's your size? Extra-manly?

Hmm...look at Cobie without a shirt of splash him with water?

Go get that shirt, I'm in a splashing mood.

Extra-manly seems like a good fit

Oh, and don't get too dry anyone...

*SPLASH*

Get him, Viviane. And then judge him. Here are you're number cards.

Prowrr...I mean very nice... (must resist, I am a priestess now)

Who's next to get all wet?

Good thing I just worked out

I give him (Cobie) an 8.

Semi you have a 9

and KP a 6.5!!!

Cobie tempt me not.

Oh Viviane, you are too kind. But I must protest, KP is at least a 9.5.

Wow, what a contest! The competition looks neck and neck.

Sorry, not hear to play. Just to leave some free bumper stickers at the bar for anyone who wants to help promote SHAKES!

[Linked Image]

I'll gladly enter a demo round... won't compete, tho. I don't want to make the others look bad.

Future, what an excellent bumper sticker. Thank you so much. And one of our most valued patrons (and most-esteemed deputy leader of Legion World), Outdoor Miner, is looking particularly splendid. What a fine addition to SHAKES memorabilia.

RKS, <SPLASH>!

OM drinking has consistently been one of the main themes of SHAKES!

Nice plug! OM's a goodlooking bug. That big lug's mug would make me want a mug to chug. *shrugs*

Allright, I'll reconsider, *SPLASH*

KP is a 9

RKS, is a solid 8.5

Quote

Originally posted by Future:

[Linked Image]

Future, I am touched.

My image could not be put to better use.

<pours three beers in tribute; chugs>

Thanks to all for the compliments. I think I'll try this "three beers at once" combination for myself.

*chug*

That really is such a swell bumper sticker. Too bad it's not more prominently displayed on Legion World (hint, hint, hint). It would make an awfully great t-shirt as well. (hint, hint, hint.)

Biff and Babette have back rub protocol on today. Free massages around the pool all afternoon. Enjoy the pool while you can. Soon we'll have to close it down for autumn.

Ah! Anyone mind if I get first dibs on the massage? I've got a lesson I have to teach in a few hours and I could use all the destressors I could get.

Babette is ready for you, Future. Be warned, GRL is a little jealous.

Thanks, Semi! I'll keep an eye open for Giant Robotic Lesbian.

Hopefully enough ladies will be interested in a swim at the Swell Outdoor Pool to keep GRL distracted. I need Babette's full attention, you know.

Never fear, Future. I've put out a call to the ladies synchro swim team to come for a practice. That'll keep GRL occupied.

8.5?

some people just have no taste for quality.

It's sad, but today is the last day of summer. The pool closes tomorrow. Enjoy is while you can. Water volley ball in the shallow end. Synchro swim in the deep end. Fun and frivolity at the pool bar.

So what is on the Fall agenda Semi? Softball leagues?

Well, a softball team is a pretty good idea. Shameless Hussies could field a team. Cafe Cramer could field a team (but we'd cannibalize eah other, since we have so many common patrons).

I was also thinking of a water-color class out on the pool deck to catch the changing autumn colors under the ever watchful gaze of Mt. Eruptus.

We need to keep in shape for the holdiay flirting season, so I'm thinking of opening SWEATS, a gym, adjacent to SHAKES. Vee and I talked about this a year or so ago, but it never quite got off the ground.

I hope to add live music to happy hour on Thursdays and Fridays. Perhaps Harbinger and Crujectra could be persuaded to guest star occassionally.

Other than that, it'll be the same old thing - free drinks, carousing, and repairing the bar after the destruction caused by the newest brigand to hit LW.

Hey, what's the chances of getting a beer around here?
It's Monday night, and as boring as scrubbing Satans horny hoofs.

So I could do with a long cold draught, if you would be so kind, Garcon.

Numf, he's your beer. I would think though, that I wouldn't characterize scrubbing Stan's horny hooves as boring. Disturbing, perhaps, but not boring.

Well he's so particular about how he likes them done, and to what level of glossy blackness he likes them shined, that having to clean and buff them up to 17 times a day can be quite boring indeed.

Disturbing at first, but then when you realise that hell is in fact just non-terminal boredom it changes your outlook.

Thanks for the beer. My-God-and-his-great-big-fluffy-bunny-collection do I need this.

"Chug"

As Outdoor Miner so wisely suggests, 3 beers are better than 1. So here are 2 more.

You've got me sussed.

Cheers!

Oh, and have one yourself.

Strangely, this bar-tender doesn't drink. (Sshhh! dont't tell anyone.)

Hi there Semi, Hi Numf, how is the world treating you both?

Just away off to bed. Thanks ever so much for the beers and the company.

G'night all.

xx

Night Numf. World's just fine, Harbs. Two more days and I have a week and a half off. My mom's visiting.

Sounds great Semi, a week and a half off work and a family visit, make sure you make the most of it darling as time off always goes by at twice the rate of time on don't you know

It's one of those bizarre laws of physics that they forget to teach at school

Semi, Buddy, Are you here?

I need your help... Space Lawyer help, not Space Bartender help!

As a result of some underhanded shenanigans at the recent Legion World Sadie Hawkins Dance, I now have a Daughter, Opal Janell Quank.

However the mother of that beautiful baby girl is attempting to deny me my parental rights and has been publicly running around with other men. (not that I care much about the second part, but it is smear material)

I have decided to sue for custody of my daughter, and I would like to retain you to help represent me in this battle. The lead attorney in the case will be your good friend and esteemed colleague Mr. Quislet.ESQ, I also plan to retain any and all other Space Lawyers on legion World.

If you are willing to represent me please assist him in obtaining a restraining order Post-Haste!

P.S. As the Official Legion World janitor, I have a long standing High Paying Job, plus I know where all the other posters money cashes are, so money is no object... So SIC HER!!!!!!!

Oh! This could get interesting!

Oh, and if a certain Pagan Lass comes looking for me... I wasn't here and you don't know where I am...

Who are you?

WHERE IS HE????

AND DON'T YOU TRY COVERING FOR HIM LOSER, OR I'LL CAST A SPELL THAT WILL GIVE YOU A SHRIVELED DINGUS FOR THE NEXT TEN YEARS!!!!!

What covering? I'm so, um, disgusted with his recent shenanigans that I don't even recognize his existence any more...yeah, that's it...

What's a dingus?

Wow, thats one p'd off woman.

I never get here as often as i like, any chance of a pint of Ale?

<whispers to Kid Prime>
....and thats....so it would be....and belive you me you don't want it shriveled.
<turns back to his beer>

Sorry Abin, this is the one place I don't have to be a lawyer. I'd kind of like to keep it that way.

I know what a dingus is, my Sight has informed me that Pagan Lass knows nothing of my child with Abin.

Your Sight? Child your sight should have told you you were messing with a MARRIED MAN! Your Sight!

But! Child, He had the power to easily repel your crude advances and so I blame him, not you.

Ever since Cobie-Bear gave him that silly Power ring... He just hasn't been the same...

My Sight did tell me he's was married, but the Goddess said I needed to bare a child, and that he was to be the father.

I thought I should play innocent, but the truth is out.

I do what I need to.

You all need a drink, and some advice on getting child support. (Unfortunately, I'm a simple bartender and have chosen not to dispense advice on the subject.)

Semi - you hunka, hunka burning love! When you can, will you fix me a tall pink lemonade with a gin kick and a celery stalk for my vitamins? Purty pleeze!

Semi, You may be many things but simple, Never!

Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Man's one of the smartest people Anyone Knows! And he just proved it!)

Lurking Violet, one tall pink lemonade, with a gin kick and a spritz or soda to tickle your tongue. Celery on the side, sweetie. Don't want to mix the two - it just isn't done.

Ranger, welcome. You're looking hale and I see you've chosen a wooden bar stool. (those past problems seem to have cleared up nicely.) It's a Johnny Walker Black, if I recall - or is it Red?

*tee hee* fizzy bubbles *tee hee*

Semi, I am here on business but I need a drink before going back into a meeting. Got anything that wont leave a smell on the breath?

Far, I'm told that vodka based drinks are odourless. However, drink enough of anything and the alcohol is noticeable. So what the hell, how about a Boodles martini (that's gin, but you might as well enjoy life).

Hello Semi, how's the day?

I think I'll have a Manhatten, something to calm the nerves at the end of a long day.

For some reason, there seems to be certain posters against me here on LW. Isn't that strange?

Luckily, I can avoid all of that nonsense here in SHAKES...

All I can tell you is I never got busted coming in drunk in my youth when vodka was on the menu, but when we switched to mostly beer or the brown goods, I was not so stealthy.

OVERTHROW COBALT! *tee hee*

OVERTHROW COBALT -- The real O.C.! would make a faboo bumper sticker. Purty pleeze Future? Do it or you'll be a doomed old woman!

Sadly, the schedule is still a bit thick to be able to make bumper stickers mid-week. Get back to me on Saturday and we'll see what we can do.

Ah, I love the "doomed old woman" phrase! Three words that don't relate to me at all and yet I'll gladly accept the name.

Quote

Originally posted by Future:
Ah, I love the "doomed old woman" phrase! Three words that don't relate to me at all and yet I'll gladly accept the name.

Oh, they relate to you, Future. Because Viv coined the phrase. To sing an old childhood favorite: Viv & Future sitting in a tree, V-I-R-T-U-A-L!

Bah!

Classic use of "Bah!"

Nicely done, Future!

Quote

Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
Hello Semi, how's the day?

I think I'll have a Manhatten, something to calm the nerves at the end of a long day.

For some reason, there seems to be certain posters against me here on LW. Isn't that strange?

Luckily, I can avoid all of that nonsense here in SHAKES...

Cobie, a Manhattan it is. And don't you always have somebody (rubbing up) against you?

I try to

Thanks for the Manhatten, you're still the best bartender around! I'll have another...

I never had a man, "bah" the fact of going virtual with me. He won't be complaining after the dance.

I'd like some Ginger Ale.

We'll see what happens, Viv.

Since you and Abin now have a pseudo-thing going, I have to watch where I tread very carefully.

I only flirted with Abin so he could impregnant me so I could give birth to a powerful child that will become a great leader of the future.

I'm completely dedicated to you. And if anyone gives you trouble you come to me and I'll magic their arse.

Well, I'm still confused...as always...but I'll try to remember that last part, Viv!

How's the night life at SHAKES tonight, Semi?

Quote

Originally posted by Semi Radiant Fellow:

Ranger, welcome. You're looking hale and I see you've chosen a wooden bar stool. (those past problems seem to have cleared up nicely.) It's a Johnny Walker Black, if I recall - or is it Red?

I's Black Semi, and yes the problems have cleared up, but oddly I miss my "Special Chair."

By the way, have you heard from Abin lately? I need to find him before his wife does.

Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(If she finds him first Legion World may need a New Janitor!)

It's Dog Appreciation Week. I was just remembering how I used to come in here early in the morning, and there would be this sad little puppy passed out in a corner. Wonder if he ever grew up or found a home.

I miss that puppy too. He sure did drink quite a bit...

They don't stay puppies very long... It's probably a full grown Bar-Hound by now...

Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(or maybe a Mosh Pit Bull...)

iS THIS AM BEST ROOM FOR GAY FLIRTING? mE AM LOVE TO PROVE MASCULINITY BY FLIRTING WITH HOMOS.

oH WAIT, ME AM READ ABOVE POSTS. THIS AM ROOM FOR FLIRTING WITH PUPPIES. tHAT AM COOL! mE AM INTO BEASTIALITY TOO!

There isn't enough liquor here to make me understand the words coming out of his mouth.

bizarro is back. quick, someone slap him and steal his wallet so he'll feel welcome.

Maybe Mr. Quank is hiding out with Puppy STU.

I'm wondering is Pagan Lass' pent up anger accidentally manifested into a spell and destroyed Abin without her knowledge?

Nope!

Can't say much now but I was completely safe.

That's good, I hope you and I can still remain friends.

Well, this giant war/dodgeball game may interfere for a few moments, but I think it'll blow over pretty quickly...

But it is making me thirsty, I think I'll have a lemonade... (Regular, NOT Long Island)

Think I should start stocking up on the booze now in case we have that civil war. Wouldn't want to run out.

Miner, are you sure 23 kegs are enough?

Quote

Originally posted by Outdoor Miner:
Think I should start stocking up on the booze now in case we have that civil war. Wouldn't want to run out.

It's things like this that remind me why I made you run for leader.

Quote

Originally posted by Abin Quank:
Miner, are you sure 23 kegs are enough?

I'm just getting started.

Quote

Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
It's things like this that remind me why I made you run for leader.

A good leader knows what's important and takes steps to make sure they're taken care of.

Blueberry Mohito

smash some blueberries with mint, sugar and lime juice; add rum, ice and seltzer.

Good to see you Petey! How's things?

That seems like a pretty important thing and should be taken care of.

I'm not the regular barkeep, but gimme a minute and.....there you are.

hey cobie, things are ok. how's school? are you going to watch "RED RIVER" tomorrow?

Red River

Rough days deserve something stronger than gimlets. Mind if I help myself to the whiskey? Don't mind if I do.

Hello all, it's a beautiful day, I could use some club soda if it's not too much of a hassle.

Not at all. Here ya go.

As for me, I'll see if Dr. G left any of the whiskey.

<pours beer>

*Chug!*

Ah...all is right in the world right now.

You sound more like me every day, Cobes.

Even I need heroes.

Must I bump into you everywhere, you pompous Keystone cop!

Reallllllllllly. HMMMPH!

Was that nails on a chalk-board? I like your voice better when it's all silky, Miss T.

Besides, at SHAKES I like to keep the drama around who's going to pour the next round. Miner?

Oh, why not?

<pours round; chugs>

I excuse myself to the bathroom and change into a red, backless, halter style gown which hugs my curves generously. The slit on the left side reveals my long, silky leg.

When I reappear I take the stage and sing a soulful rendition of Bootylicious.

Once done several handsome male sentients order me drinks and I spend the evening laughing, having completely forgotten any trivial men I mistakenly knew before.

They're anything but trivial.

Hrun smiles at lady in red dress.

His large well muscled barbarian body moves with a surprising grace and he is next to the laughing maiden.

Knocking the several male sentients on the head and throwing them out of the window, he turns to Trysexual.

"waiter, more mead"

I see a little barbarian in the future.

Just a "little" one?

I guess it's true what they say about carrying the big weapons to compensate and all...

I meant a kid, and if what your saying is true, I may have to retract that statement.

So where are all the post-election festivities?

If no one else is here, I'll just help myself to the primo stash behind the counter...

The winners haven't even shown their faces yet, it would be wierd if all the losers just came and drank. Wait, that would be perfectly sane. Pass me a cold one.

Done.

I'm going to miss drinking on the job.

Quote

Originally posted by HighPriestessViviane:
it would be wierd if all the losers just came and drank.

How would that be different from the way things are usually?

*CHUG*

Quote

Originally posted by Outdoor Miner:
I'm going to miss drinking on the job.

That's why I'm employed as SHAKES's bouncer. That way, I can always drink on the job!

Does part of the bouncer job require you to stand around and drink while a barbarian tosses male sentients out the window?

If so, how are the benefits?

I'm not really sure.

Actually, other than what the backside of the bar looks like (since I'm usually passed out back there), I'm frankly not sure of much that goes on around here.

Oh well.

*CHUG*

You get to watch me walk around with my enormous clevage, some say that's a benefit.

STU's always laying down on the job as well!

But we love him anyway!

Quick my Friend more Mead over here. And ask those Varagian's to be quiet over there as I recite poetry to this fine lady.

Yay! I won! Drinks for everybody!

(Oh, wait... we get that anyway. I'll have to think about an appropriate celebratory generous gesture.)

I love see the local men, all drunk and incoherent.

What's the official drink of the Prime/Ultra administration?

well, one of them is surely a rusty nail

Semi did you create the original SHAKES thread that is now called SHAKES Archives? Are you the "owner" of this establishment or just the best damn bartender, ever?

He's all of the above!

He's created a series of highly-lauded mixed drinks named after prominent LWers! (There's a list in the bar in my mansion...)

You have a mansion...interesting...

Quote

Originally posted by Vee:
STU's always laying down on the job as well!

I think that would actually be a perk to certain people around here!

Is it time to close the swell outdoor pool yet, Semi?

Isn't it perpetually summer at LW -- or at least that part of LW in which SHAKES is located?

Anyway, I'm still hanging out here in my board shorts and Hawaiian shirt, enjoying a pina colada...

SHAKES on page two?

Say it ain't so!

I'll have a Fellows Martini in honor of our favourite semi-transparent bartender!

Mind if I join you for a drink, STUey?

What can I get you Princess?

STU turn over or you're going to burn!

I can't turn over!

I fell asleep earlier and someone ran off with my towel, so I'd be, um, exposed if I turned over!

Can I just stay like this for a bit while someone brings me drinks? (I'd like a Va-Va-Va-Vee, please!)

Thank you, Vee. I'm not sure what to have. I'm intrigued by these drinks that STUey keeps mentioning. Maybe Semi will consider creating an Iced Miss T. or something even more faboo!

By the way, STU, I've cast an illusion that you're wearing skintight spandex bikinis. It's better than nothing.

Quote

Originally posted by Princess Perfectra:

Thank you, Vee. I'm not sure what to have. I'm intrigued by these drinks that STUey keeps mentioning. Maybe Semi will consider creating an Iced Miss T. or something even more faboo!

There's a list of all the drinks created so far, along with their ingredients, on the STU's Mansion thread -- it's probably page one or two. Isn't Semi the greatest?

Quote

Originally posted by Princess Perfectra:

By the way, STU, I've cast an illusion that you're wearing skintight spandex bikinis. It's better than nothing.

Thanks!

[nervous] I just hope the illusion doesn't fade at an inopportune time, like when I'm among the crowd at the SHAKES daily happy hour... [/nervous]

Did you roll over to tell me that STUey?

D'OH!

You mean the illusion hadn't taken effect yet?

Well STUey exceeded my expectations.

Egads!

I'm going to go over to the other side of the pool now...

Elitist!

Poor Future, big things can frighten people. The water looks nice, I wonder if I should jump in?

Quote

Originally posted by STU:
I can't turn over!

I fell asleep earlier and someone ran off with my towel, so I'd be, um, exposed if I turned over!

Can I just stay like this for a bit while someone brings me drinks? (I'd like a Va-Va-Va-Vee, please!)

It's alright, STU, we like looking at your bum.

Hi everybody, I'm back from a week of entertaining my mom. To answer a few questions:

(1) yes I did start SHAKES, Miss T. It was a quiet Saturday night and I was having a martini so I thought I'd pour virtual ones for any LW'ers on line.

(2) Actually, the pool closed on September 20. That's a mighty powerful illusion that you've all been jumping into.

(3) Why yes, Miss T, I would be delighted to create a drink in your honor. I call it

"The Misty Delight"

Start will 1 oz of simple syrup (sugar and water boiled down), infused with fresh mint and lime. Pour it into a shaker with 2 oz. of gin, 1 oz. of champagne, and 2 oz. of sparkling water. Prepare a tall, frozen, skinny glass by running a freshly cut lime around the top and dipping the rim in sugar. Fill the glass with roughly crushed ice, and pour in the drink. Garnish with a twist of lime and a sprig of mint.

Cheers, I hope you like it.

Quote

Originally posted by Semi Radiant Fellow:

Quote

Originally posted by STU:
[b]I can't turn over!

I fell asleep earlier and someone ran off with my towel, so I'd be, um, exposed if I turned over!

Can I just stay like this for a bit while someone brings me drinks? (I'd like a Va-Va-Va-Vee, please!)

It's alright, STU, we like looking at your bum.[/b]

Just so long as you don't get too bummed out.

Wise - crack, so to speak.

Well, if the pool is closed I'm most certainly having fun at this Swell Outdoor Illusion then...

Now that everyone knows the pool is an illusion, I guess I can't continue to feign drowning in order to get that cute lifeguard to give me mouth-to-mouth resuscitation anymore...

Stu, the lifeguard knew it was an illusion the whole time. I just think she was looking for an excuse to make out with you...

Boys and there schemes.

Quote

Originally posted by Loser Lad:
Stu, the lifeguard knew it was an illusion the whole time. I just think she was looking for an excuse to make out with you...

Talk about illusions. All the lifeguards we'v got working at SHAKES are male!

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Semi Radiant Fellow:
 (3) Why yes, Miss T, I would be delighted to create a drink in your honor. I call it

"The Misty Delight"

Start will 1 oz of simple syrup (sugar and water boiled down), infused with fresh mint and lime. Pour it into a shaker with 2 oz. of gin, 1 oz. of champagne, and 2 oz. of sparkling water. Prepare a tall, frozen, skinny glass by running a freshly cut lime around the top and dipping the rim in sugar. Fill the glass with roughly crushed ice, and pour in the drink. Garnish with a twist of lime and a sprig of mint.

Cheers, I hope you like it.

I LOVE it! Is that based on a pre-existing drink, Semi or should I tell the bartender how to make one?

Now when I go out I'll be ordering a Misty Delight and thinking of you B.!

That sounds like an excellent addition to the menu, Semi!

May I try a Misty Delight, please?

Miss T., I've never actually made a Misty Delight. I just created it at my keyboard. I think it would taste pretty good. If you ever have one, let me know. (if it's awful, I'm sorry in advance).

Misty Delights for everyone in the house.

Well this Miss T. is delighted with the Misty Delights! I think I'll just settle in and drink my supper tonight. I'll work with the LW orphans another day.

Quote

Originally posted by Vee:

Quote

Originally posted by Loser Lad:
[b]Stu, the lifeguard knew it was an illusion the whole time. I just think she was looking for an excuse to make out with you...

Talk about illusions. All the lifeguards we'v got working at SHAKES are male!

[/b]

[STU casts a hex at Vee's computer, making City of Heroes unplayable for 24 hours]

STU, I wasn't aware you had magic powers. Anyway, it's best not to upset Vee when it comes to City of Heroe - especially when you're sitting there without a towel. Remember, he has size altering powers.

Hmmm. Misty Delight. Not at all bad.

I'll have two more, please.

Miner, you already have two more. You know I always serve you drinks in 3's.

Geez, I've had so many I'm seeing single.

Can't have that. Here's three more.

You're a gentleman's gentleman, Semi.

Here's to you.

That I am, Miner. How about a beer, or three, to chase those down?

It's a quiet night in here, now that the temperature's taken a nose dive. I feel a long cold winter coming on.

Quote

Originally posted by Semi Transparent Fellow:
STU, I wasn't aware you had magic powers. Anyway, it's best not to upset Vee when it comes to City of Heroe - especially when you're sitting there without a towel. Remember, he has size altering powers.

I can do many things.

Except, apparently, drink in moderation...

[CHUG]

Join Miner for a brew or three

Three, definitely.

And I agree with you, Semi. It's gonna be a cold winter.

It's like 62 in my house right now. I've got a sweater on and a blanket over my knees. (I refuse to turn on the heat this early.)

I get so much heat rising from below that I've never had to turn on the heater in my place.

Saves me a lot of money.

I live on a tropical island I bought with my lottery winnings, so it's always temperate and pleasant.

Quote

Originally posted by Outdoor Miner:
I get so much heat rising from below that I've never had to turn on the heater in my place.

Saves me a lot of money.

You live on Mount St. Helens?

Man, OM, did you get gypped.

You kidding? The land's cheap, and the heat's free.

It's perfect.

I think I need a JWB.

Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Just as soon as I stop

)

Really? How much do you pay?

...hey, with the impending winter only weeks away for this part of the west, I'll take my chances with the volcano.

I'll keep you warm during the winter, Future.

hey what's on the agenda at Shakes today?

My agenda is an afternoon full of alternating Fellows Martinis and Arachnetinis.

Good thing I wore this body today, he has a much higher threshold for alcohol than I normally do.

I'm building a roaring fire in the fireplace. The wing chairs have been taken out of storage and are arranged around the hearth. If the day warms up, I'll open the terrace doors so you can all enjoy the fresh air.

Well, I usually take my coffee at Cramer's but I can't resist a cup with some Bailey's by a nice fire.

I think I'll have some Opal Nera in Arachne's honor! Where's she been lately?

(Of course, I usually spell Opal Nera wrong fifty percent of the time, but, ah well...)

What is opal nera, exactly? I typed up all of your drink recipes that I could find and put them in the directory this morning, Semi. They all sound so good. Well...

Except for the Cheese Breeze!

Matlock, babette will bring your Bailey's right over. Cobie, an opal nera is coming up. Miss T, opal nera is a black licorice liquer - just think dirty ouzo.

Cheese breeze? I don't recall that one - seriously. Was I drunk?

STU has a list of your drink recipes on page 3 of STU's Haunted Mansion (a.k.a. Stu's Study).

Perhaps he invented the Cheese Breeze and credited it to you?

The Sweet Caroline and Frozen Volcano were especially cool!

Thanks for the reference - Cheese Breeze. Surely I was under a spell when I concoted that one.

Well, after 49 Fellows martinis, I think I need to lie down a while. Since I'm wearing Braalian today, I think I'll lie out in the buff. I'm always afraid to do it in my female alt-forms as G.R.L. is usually around. Now, if only someone will lotion me. *tee hee*

Quote

Originally posted by Kid Magnetic:

Well, after 49 Fellows martinis, I think I need to lie down a while. Since I'm wearing Braalian today, I think I'll lie out in the buff. I'm always afraid to do it in my female alt-forms as G.R.L. is usually around. Now, if only someone will lotion me. *tee hee*

In your current form, Kid Magnetic, I'm sure there will be no shortage of offers to "lotion" you.

I PMed joe mondo today and told him how much I love his photomanips!!! I wish they were full-size posters for sale. I'd buy 'em all!

Evening guys, just popping in for a half lager and lime and to share a qick redition of one of my favourite Louis Armstrong numbers, Mood Indigo, I so adore the piano at the start, gets me going every time.

I

this piano, hope you enjoy this

"Now you have been blue.."

Sits enraptured.

Hello, Harbs. How nice of you to drop in. Will that be an "Outdoor Miner" lager and lime -- or just one? I'll have Troy bring it over. (Even though Troy's a droid, he's been working out. It would please him so if you'd notice it and perhaps compliment him.)

Quote

Originally posted by Mrs C B H.I.V.E.:

"Now you have been blue.."

Quote

Originally posted by Semi Transparent Fellow:
I'll have Troy bring it over. (Even though Troy's a droid, he's been working out. It would please him so if you'd notice it and perhaps compliment him.)

Thank you, Troy. You know, some of my best friends are droids.

Maybe we could go to a droid bar sometime?

Maybe when Troy gets off work, later this week, he could take you to a droid bar. But I have to warn you, they're a bunch of sex machines there and they never stop.

I always wondered what it was that Mantis saw in them. I guess now I know...

That reminds me, I need to work up entries for Troys and Brads for the Directory.

Quote

Originally posted by Semi Transparent Fellow:
Maybe when Troy gets off work, later this week, he could take you to a droid bar. But I have to warn you, they're a bunch of sex machines there and they never stop.

I'll be sure to bring some motor oil or other appropriate lubricant.

Wear rubber-soled shoes. That'll help you avoid any nasty electrical shocks!

Droids do not have metal skeletons. They are constructed of Neoderm™ over Ossi-form™, with a fully functionning Pari-vascular™ system and Novo-nueral™ net. It's really difficult to tell them from the real thing (assuming of course that we are not a bio-engineered species ourselves).

I like Troys because they hang on my every word and never ignore me!

So much better than real men!!!

Anybody want a drink? Babette will bring it over. (She's been taking diction and elocution lessons. Please try and notice. She'd appreciate it.)

Babette, be a babe and bring me a Blaine Blaster.

*dreamy sigh* Troy boys make the best boy toys.

Babette, take this Blaine Blaster to the babe sitting by the fire-place. I think she might know something about Joseph Campbell's Hero With a Thousand Faces. Why don't you engage her in a conversation about the role of "the herald" in our own lives.

It a middle-of-the-week kind of day...obviously! What do you recommend for such an occasion, Semi?

Well, the middle is between the beginning and the end or between the Past and the Future - i.e., these are the days of Future Past. Now if you're as befuddled as I am, you'll need a drink, which leads me, aptly, to the introduction of SHAKES latest signature drink:

The Future Fizz

In a tall glass filled with ice, pour a shot of very good bourbon, a spritz of seltzer, a dash of bitters, a splash of sweet vermouth and top it off with ginger beer and a twist of lemon.

Enjoy.

Semi, I'll take over now. Boys, what's your pleasure?

Thanks, Babette. I need a rest. Troy will be in later to relieve you.

I'm no boy, but I'll have a club soda, please.

Here you are darling. My but you're such a pretty little thing. How come you don't have a whole crowd of handsome boys begging for your attention?

Quote

Originally posted by Semi Transparent Fellow:
Babette, take this Blaine Blaster to the babe sitting by the fire-place. I think she might know something about Joseph Campbell's Hero With a Thousand Faces. Why don't you engage her in a conversation about the role of "the herald" in our own lives.

If I had a dinner party and could invite anyone from LW, it'd be Semi, Cramey, Scooter & Caroline. I would be mesmerized, enlightened, and thoroughly entertained the entire night.

If I could have my own gaggle of Troy-Brads, I'd pick Cobie, EDE, Abin, Kent, Numfies, Far, Future, & Lou. I'd dress them in palm fronds and flip-flops and they'd have to listen to me talk about every minute detail of my day. And how it made me feel. And then we'd have sex! *tee hee*

The dinner party would be more fun, though.

I'll get this one, Babette.

Trackstar, that's your name, right? I've been a fan of yours for a long time. It would be such an honor to bring you a cocktail. May I?

Quote

Originally posted by Babette:
Here you are darling. My but you're such a pretty little thing. How come you don't have a whole crowd of handsome boys begging for your attention?

Intimidation! Try and find a guy that's isn't intimidated by a woman with this much power. Troy and you are new faces, where have you been hiding?

Oh we've been working here at SHAKES almost from the beginning. Semi recently installed human interaction protocols in us. Now that I can converse, I feel almost like a real girl.

*poke poke*

Well, you feel like a real girl, too. That ought to make Cobalt Kid very happy.

Babette can talk now?

Wow. Next, we'll have color TV in here!

Quote

Originally posted by Troy:
I'll get this one, Babette.

Trackstar, that's your name, right? I've been a fan of yours for a long time. It would be such an honor to bring you a cocktail. May I?

*swoons* Oh, Troy! I would so very much enjoy having you serve me your cocktail.

Wow, thanks for the Future Fizz, Semi!

Moving, speaking Troy & Babette? That WILL take some getting used to.

Semi, I'd like to add this entry to the LW Directory. Does it meet with your approval or would you like to add/detract anything to/from it, darling?

Babette & Troy, droid servers employed at SHAKES. They are described as not having "metal skeletons. They are constructed of Neoderm™ over Ossi-form™, with a fully functionning Pari-vascular™ system and Novo-nueral™ net. It's really difficult to tell them from the real thing (assuming of course that we are not a bio-engineered species ourselves)."

Future, I appreciate your technical advice today and I'll be adding the Future Fizz to the Directory, also. Care to join me at my table? Next round is on me.

Maybe if we're lucky Viv or B. will take the stage.

Quote

Originally posted by Kid Prime:
Wow. Next, we'll have color TV in here!

Heh. Somehow I don't see SHAKES becoming a sports bar.

Hmm. I think I've got to try me some of those Future Fizzes...

I'll be glad to join you at the table, Miss T!

All drinks at SHAKES are free though, but thanks anyway for offering to pay!

I can still hear the faint echoes of Mrs. Hill's playing from last night. Spectacular stuff!

Quote

Originally posted by Trackstar:
Maybe if we're lucky Viv or B. will take the stage.

Ok. Let's see, how about...

Are My Thoughts With You?

"I'm gonna plant me some seed
Grow me an ocean
Cut me some trees
And build me an island..."

Miner, care to join us while Viv unloads the soul?

Sounds great, Viv!

Pop a squat over here, OM.

Future, is it the Fizzes or are you getting better looking?

Ummm, are you sure you want me sitting with you right now?

...are you implying that it's possible to get better looking than I already am?

Zounds!

Actually, I'm really not THAT conceited. My looks have much to improve on. For the sake of all of us, OM, maybe you SHOULD sit with us so we can all stay out of trouble.

OK.

Just signal if you want me to bail.

I really think it's the Fizzes as, even on my randiest day on Legion World (and believe me, I've had some randy ones), I don't usually find behooded, beaked bugs so sexy.

Troy, another round of Fizzes please.

Quote

Originally posted by Trackstar:
Semi, I'd like to add this entry to the LW Directory. Does it meet with your approval or would you like to add/detract anything to/from it, darling?

[b]Babette & Troy, droid servers employed at SHAKES. They are described as not having "metal skeletons. They are constructed of Neoderm™ over Ossi-form™, with a fully functionning Pari-vascular™ system and Novo-nueral™ net. It's really difficult to tell them from the real thing (assuming of course that we are not a bio-engineered species ourselves)."[/b]

Miss Trackstar, perhaps you'd also like to add that they have the human interaction protocol installed. At times, various other protocols are activated - such as the life-guard protocol (useful around the pool), the massage protocol (also useful around the pool) and the pole-dance protocol (useful to entertain the patrons, albeit somewhat demeaning to Troy and Babette, and for that reason, has been uninstalled). Troy and Babette have superior intelligence and we're really just beginning to explore their capabilities.

Ladies, gentlemen, permit me to clear away those empty glasses. Mr. Miner, may I offer you a smokeless cigar to go with your three ales?

I'll bring a tray of Future Fizzes right over.

Thanks for all your help, Troy!

Now what were you saying, Miss T? Something else else about randy-ness?

Thank you, Troy. A cigar would be excellent.

These Fizzes are pretty good, aren't they?

"...I'm gonna turn out the lights
Turn on the night
Give up the fight
Go for a flight
Catch me a kite
Who cares what's right or wrong
When I get to the moon
Rent me a room
Sit in the gloom
All alone
And cry are my thoughts with you babe"

Perfroming is always so invigorating. I should get something to wet my whistle.

A Future Fizz seems to be the thing tonight, Viv!

Would you like a sip of mine?

Sure. Mmm...Future. I mean, Mmm...Fizz.

God, yes, Future. I feel positively lit up with passion tonight.

Maybe it's the Starhaven outfit, after wearing the Braalian for nearly 200 posts.

The olive skin poured into the primal leather unitard. The excess fringe which hangs loosly like the silky threads of my space-black hair.

Miner, Future, Troy, Semi...

Is it just me or does this outfit have absolutely beautiful breasts? So full and round.

I really have grown to like these new powers of mine.

pulls Future over and kisses him passionately but modestly (that means not open-mouthed) on his mouth, while running a hand through his hair.

Yes. Randy.

Eyes lit up

Miss T! I...

...wow.

I'll just take that as my signal. Have fun, y'all.

Moves further down the bar

You folks fine over here?

[secretly looks down on all the events through peepholes in the giant STU portrait hanging over the bar]

Semi would it be inappropriate if I took to the stage and danced for the patrons?

Quote

Originally posted by STU:
[secretly looks down on all the events through peepholes in the giant STU portrait hanging over the bar]

Raggy!

Not now, Scoob.

Jinkies!

Ah...yes. Yes, sir! We're fine.

Thanks for checking up on us, Semi.

Well, since Miss T and Viv seem to be on-stage tonight, I should probably go back and check on the Holo-Cinema.

Future!

(Runs off stage)

*slaps him and steals his wallet*

That's what you get for kissing other women.

I hope Mrs. Hill doesn't mind that I borrowed her Thong Force*

*blatant plug for The Day Legion World Stood Still in Bits

Go ahead and dance, Miss T. We'd all enjoy it. Troy can synthesize a band if you like.

Rubs his face

Well, that's what I get for having a drink named after me.

Looks like I'll be sleeping at the office tonight.

Quote

Originally posted by HighPriestessViviane:
Future!

(Runs off stage)

*slaps him and steals his wallet*

That's what you get for kissing other women.

(Chases after Viv)

*slaps her and steals Future's wallet from her*

Now, give me some sugar! *kisses Viv passionately*

Damn! Those Future Fizzes are most wicked! Troy, may I have a double?

Miss T, what kind of music would you like me to play for your dance? I am quite proficient in many styles - particularly latin rhythms.

Aww...you can still come over, if you want.

I don't need that Merlot going to waste.

Quote

Originally posted by Trackstar:

Quote

Originally posted by STU:
[b] [secretly looks down on all the events through peepholes in the giant STU portrait hanging over the bar]

Raggy!

Not now, Scoob.

Jinkies![/b]

Pass the Scooby Snacks!

I've got a bad case of the munchies.

And, you can invite Miss T if you want.

Quote

Originally posted by HighPriestessViviane:
Aww...you can still come over, if you want.

I don't need that Merlot going to waste.

Merlot. Is that Merlin's younger brother?

Ladies, I do not mean to intrude, but can I help? I know I am not a real girl <sigh>, but I have some experience with these situations.

Quote

Originally posted by Zombie STU:

Quote

Originally posted by HighPriestessViviane:
[b]Aww...you can still come over, if you want.

I don't need that Merlot going to waste.

Merlot. Is that Merlin's younger brother?[/b]

Let's just say you'll be seeing "magic" when your done drinking it.

And what do you have in mind, Babette?

Now, Viv, please don't be sour! I'm sorry.

I time-slipped out and bought you a dozen bumper stickers. Forgive me?

[Linked Image]

Oh, it looks like things are settling down. Forgive me for even mentioning it.

I forgave already, and then I invited you over to drink wine.

Oh, okay. Just making sure things are fine. I hate to see everyone fighting!

Quote

Originally posted by Troy:
Miss T, what kind of music would you like me to play for your dance? I am quite proficient in many styles - particularly latin rhythms.

How are you with the Forbidden Dance, Troy?

Actually, another Future Fizz and Let's do the Time Warp, again!

Quote

Originally posted by Future:
Oh, okay. Just making sure things are fine. I hate to see everyone fighting!

You're loving it.

Quote

Originally posted by Future:
Oh, okay. Just making sure things are fine. I hate to see everyone fighting!

Peacemakers turn me on.

(Grabs Future and kisses him extra passionately this time.)

Quote

Originally posted by Babette:
Oh, it looks like things are settling down. Forgive me for even mentioning it.

Babette, you're like the prettiest mirror I've ever seen. *dreamy sigh*

*sigh* to the two posts above.

Quote

Originally posted by Miss Tricks:

Quote

Originally posted by Future:
[b] Oh, okay. Just making sure things are fine. I hate to see everyone fighting!

Peacemakers turn me on.
[/b]

Did I mention that I won the Nobel Peace Prize?

Twice.

Future, let me buy you a drink to thank you for the great bumper sticker you designed for the Villa. What would you like?

Vee, haven't you given me enough with the nice room at the Villa?!

If it's all the same, I'll have to take a rain check. I've had enough Future Fizzes today to move a mountain...perhaps I shall go try that right now!

Okay, but I owe you one! Enjoy the suite.

STUey, if I make out with you, will your body parts fall off?

Finally it has quieted down in here. I'll clean up for Babette so she can go to the holo-plex. That shall also give me time to contemplate the forbidden dance. This human interaction protocol is quite perplexing. Perhaps I should just work out and concentrate on the physical experience.

Well Troy, as your sometimes, part-time employer, I take the well being of our employees very seriously. I'd be more than happy to help you pratice human interaction and join you in your work out so you can concentrate on that physical experience.

I'd like to match Vee's generous offer, Troy. Between Vee and myself, your aBIlity will by unmatched! *tee hee*

Hi, Mr. Varalent. I would be quite honored if you would work out with me. I hope this will not activate the "fraternization inhibitor" that Mr. Transparent Fellow installed while I am learning appropriate human interaction. My diagnostics tell me that the inhibitor is irrevocably activated for 90 earth revolutions.

Aside from that, how much can you bench?

Miss T, how are you faring this morning? Have the effects of the Future Fizzes diminished? May I offer you an alka-seltzer. "Plop-plop fizz fizz, what a relief it is." Pardon me for an inappropriate attempt at word-associative humor.

I'm as fresh as a daisy, Troy. (Pressing closely against his hot droid form.)

Would you like to take a work break? I'd like to inspect your nethers. *tee hee*

Miss T, you do move quickly. Moments ago, I lamost stumbled across you and Mr. Cobalt engaging in advanced human interaction in the woods. And now you are here. How can that be?

I am off-duty now and on my way to the holo-gymnasium to work-out. I will concentrate on my pectorals, biceps and triceps today. Perhaps I could flex for you afterwards.

(Was that an inappropriate comment?)

I think I've got some mutant Cargggite in my bloodline, Troy. How sweet of you to notice. *flutters eyelashes provocatively*

And, you darling boy toy - slash toy boy - could never be deemed inappropriate. You're merely curious.

I would love accompany you to the holo-gym and enjoy some Fizzes (through SHAKES Tesseract Service System) while I watch you produce artificial perspirant.

Maybe after I watch you flex, I can help you practice some squats.

I am going to be a real boy one day - and now I am sure of it. Just like real boys, I hate squats. Even though I have only a limited pain protocol, they still hurt.

(Pushes Troy down behind the bar and begins kissing him passionately.)

Process this, man-candy!

(As Troy feels Miss T's tongue press between his lips, he experiences substantially heightened activity in his Novo-nueral™ net. Suddenly the fraternization inhibitor kicks in.)

Gasp, golly, gee-wizz Miss T. I am compelled, albiet reluctantly, to comport myself, for at least 89.5 earth revolutions. My fraternization inhibitor prevents advanced human interaction during phase I of the protocol activation. (Roughly translated, I am only allowed to get my kicks with other droids). Maybe when I'm a real boy ...

Troy, I thought you were off to the holo-gym. Please help Miss T. up before you go. She appears to have lost her footing.

Miss T., are you unwell? Perhaps a little rum and cola would help. Shall I send Babette over to discuss pre-Minoan architectural influences in neo-classical design?

Well, I guess I'll never be Troy's Helen. *heavy sigh*

Every LW male eventually breaks my heart, Troy. So I guess that makes you a real boy, after all.

Maybe I'll pop in with a droid alt, later.

I'll take that Future Fizz to go. It just hurts too much *sob!*

Don't be sad, sweetheart. You're much too pretty to cry. I have to let Troy learn about advanced human interaction at a measured pace. Not only could it damage his protocol, he could be a danger to any human he interacted with in an advanced manner. Droids are legendary for their prowess and stamina. Medicus One records have far too many entries for humans who were injured while interacting with a droid in an advanced manner. It's for your own good, Miss T. I know that no human quite measures up to Troy in the perfection of his form and visage, but there is something to be said for "slumming it" once in a while.

Oh, thank you, Semi. *hugs him tightly*

I've just been burned by so many Legion Lotharios, don't you know.

Why, I hear that the boys in the locker room call my heart "tender vittles," now.

At least, I think they're talking about my heart.

Legion Lotharios are legend. Some advice? Hold out. Be a tease. Make them beg. Lead them on and at the last minute - have a nail appointment.

Golly! I have been neglecting my fingernails, lately.

Sound advice from my favorite advisor!

Oh, that reminds me, I need to go have my virtue cleaned after that scoundrel, Cobalt Kid, stained it again. The Sisters are going to be so miffed!

Miss T, don't give up on your search for the perfect LW guy! He has to be out there somewhere!

..and if not, he can always be built!

(Grabs Future and kisses him passionately.)

I'm going to fry her if she keeps getting it on with my man!

(Frisks Future for ownership papers. Frisks him thoroughly.)

(pulls out the ownership papers for Future)

Looking for these.

(stuffs them in her robes)

Frisk him all you want, but in the end, he's all mine.

(walks out of Shakes, and continues her search for Opal, then comes back, get's a drink, and leaves, holding on too the papers)

Those papers weren't notorized, Future, honey, so they won't stand up in court.

(Continues to frisk, Future.)

(re-enters)

Opps...your right, it's a good thing that I became a legal notary.

(pulls out stamp)

*STAMP STAMP STAMP*

(Shoves papers in clevage)

I thought I should file them as well. Now back to that mission.

It's okay, Future. I foresee her breast sweat smearing the print anyways.

(Continues frisking Future. Quite thoroughly.)

(Magically creates a cold front)

Sweat, in this cool climate? Please.

The excess moisture created by her coldfront will coalesce on her puny breasts, smearing the print, Future.

Oh, you want to go upstairs, Future? Hmmmm, I think I'm late for a nail appointment.

When did 32 D become puny?

Willikers! This is sure amusing, Future!

Luckily us LW lotharios get to sit around and drink all day, with no remorse!

I think Miss T is making Viv jealous in her attempts to make the rest of us jealous! I hope your Homecoming Plans aren't ruined!

(rubs Cobalt's arm)

Let's just say the after party may have been changed some.

Feh. It was just a past version of Future from before he met Viv. You people are so quick to judge.

Judge, well somebody has to do it.

17 martinis and some olives please. I just remembered I haven't eaten today.

Time out ladies. Let us all be friends. I am activating my beautician protocol and I am setting up beside the picture window with the breath-taking view of Mt. Eruptus. Welcome to Babette's Bar-room Buff and File. Come on and let me do your nails.

French manny please.

Sure thing, sugar. Let's soak those pinkies for a bit. I have a lovely mixture of glycerin, rosewater and lavender.

Quote

Originally posted by HighPriestessViviane:
(rubs Cobalt's arm)

Let's just say the after party may have been changed some.

<puts arm around Viviane>

I like the way you think, Viv.

Well! Have one too many Future Fizzes again and all of a sudden I'm frisked and have the rest of the MMB in an uproar!

It would seem Homecoming is still on, despite all this date swapping and trademarked LMB flirting!

I still plan to escort Viv, though if she chooses to go with someone else or do her own thing I can't stop her.

...wow. I'm incredibly noble and prolific when inebriated.

Future, I could slap you!

(runs out the room in tears)

...there's no winning, is there?

I'm going back to Kid Prime's room now. With the leadership position he's so busy now that someone has to take care of the chores!

Fine! If you prefer being frisked by that...ALT, instead of me, then you can have it. I guess I just be alone at the dance if nobody wants me then.

I knew Future wouldn't be satisfied with me, but I didn't know that he would cheat on me.

Viv, I've never said I liked Miss T over you! I'd love to go to the dance still.

At the rate things are going though, perhaps I shall make my mark in LMB history by becoming the first ASEXUAL poster...

Fine, I'll go with you.

But you weren't asexual last night.

I'd offer some love advice, but Outdoor Miner would choke on his beer if he knew *I* was the one offering it!

Quote

Originally posted by Future:
Viv, I've never said I liked Miss T over you!

Oh, so I'm that insignificant to you, then, Future?

Look! I'm down! Kick Me! Feh!

Take your waterheaded witch, then. Maybe you'll slip in her puddle and bang some sense in your head! *SOBS!!*

I'll have a Joe n Jonnie,

Oh, and please give Missy T. a Shoulder to Cry On....

(Socks Abin in the jaw. Shakes her hand in pain.)

Darn! I should have taken my diamond rings off before I did that.

Rubs jaw, Picks stray diamond out of Kurt Douglas-like dimple.

Missy, a Shoulder to Cry On is a drink I thought you might like, but since you're in such a mood...

Downs his drink, leaves....

(Trips cranky Abin before he leaves the bar.)

*tee hee*

(Falls face down, bangs nose on floor...)

*OUCH*

(Grabs Abin's wallet and decides to give it to Viv, later.)

Oopsies! Babette would you mind getting Mr. Quank a moist towelette for his bloody nose?

(Helps Abin to a chair.)

You're so cute when you're brutalized. *tee hee*

Okay, ladies and gentlemen, (and I use those terms with more than a modicum of abandonment), SHAKES is not a bawdy house. If you want to brawl and carry on like hooligans and sex-starved marmosets, I suggest that you would fit in quite well at SHAMELESS HUSSIES (which I may add, I now own a controlling share in).

If however, you want to be the normally charming and erudite individuals that I know you to be, you may remain at SHAKES and consume Future Fizzes and Arachnatinis.

I'll have one of those Black Widow Arachnatinis, if you please, Master Bartender.

I'll join you, Ms. Cramer! An Arachnitini sounds perfect for right now!

I haven't really made my way around here that often. Cobie can’t seem to shut up about it, all I hear is Semi this, Vee that, SHAKES this…and I can see why! YUM!

Now where did Stu get off to? I hear he’s a puppy these days, and I want to see the little cutie!

*Tee hee* I’m a sucker for puppies!

An Arachnatini is normally served straight up with a twist of lime. Is that all right with you, FC? Of course I can prepare it any way you like for an additional nominal no-charge.

And just to remind everyone what is in an Arachnatini is the following entry courtesy of STU

ARACHNETINI - Grey Goose Vodka, opal nera, and a spritz of seltzer.

Space Tart, welcome. I'll make another Arachnetini right away. STU can usually be found curled up behind the bar (when he's a puppy, that is). However, right now he's a zombie. I'd check Shanghalla.

Zombie! Ick!

He's too cute for that sort of thing, don't you agree?

And thank you!

I'll let him know you were asking after him. He'll be delighted (maybe even enough to change back into his puppy form or even into "Lothario Stu").

Is that an official SHAKES thong that you're wearing?

Mm, would I be able to get myself one of those?

And you've got a cute butt, Semi!

Why thanks, Space Tart. It's all those squats I do at the holo-gym. However,no one ever seems to notice because I'm usually behind the bar.

I think we have an extra SHAKES silver thong in your size (petite, of course). Care to try it on?

Oh boy, I'm knackered. TGIF.

Any chance of a pint of IPA?

Sure thing, Far. One IPA coming right up. By the way, IPA - is it India Pale Ale, Indian Pale Ale, Ipanema Pale Ale, Italian Pale Ale?

Semi, I can kiss you right now! Thanks, cutie!

Give me a second, and I'll try it on in the bathroom!

*takes a second*

Well, how does it look? Far? I"m glad that I work out so much now! *tee hee*

Nothing like a few Arachnitini's in a new petite SHAKES thong!

<enters>

I know I like it!

I think a nice cold drink will work perfectly with this situation

Semi,

Its India Pale Ale. And thanks I needed that.

Now time to sit here and savour the moment. I think I'll have a nice pint of porter please.

Spacy,

That looks so good I almost spilt me pint

I can certainly see the result of your sessions in the gym.

Well, Semi's in the back right now but here's your pint of porter Far. Cobie how cold, what drink and where?

Space tart, I must say you look stunning. Would you consider being our newest "official SHAKES silver thong" supermodel?

This Arachnitini is delightful. I'll have another, if it pleases the bar.

Space Tart, it's wonderful to see you here. I must confess, I've slipped badly behind on my continuity - I thought you were among the dearly departed! Well, so much the better for all and sundry!

Question for the Faraway one - or any others - is there really an ale (or stout?) called "Old Peculiar"? Read it in a novel....

Where are those droids? I guess they took the weekend off. Troy is probably at the gym and Babette is probably at another self-improvement class. Oh well, what can I get anybody?

And I agree Fat Cramer, it's nice when the departed show up alive - because of our mistaken assumptions, of course, and not because of some whacked out re-animation experiment.

Oh, by the way, I found an unopened box in the back. Free thongs for everyone!

I first read about the silver SHAKES thong in Bits. Is it a tradition, Semi? And, if so, is it deserving of an entry in the Directory? Who wore the first thong. Is there really a Thong Force? Inquiring Editors want to know.

I'm not sure who wore the first SHAKES silver thong, but most certainly, it was Icey (Icefire) who made it famous during his ultra flirting days. We all miss that Icey and wish he'd come around more.

I noticed a poster on today called FreezeFlame. I just assumed it was Icey, a.k.a. Frosty, a.k.a. Kole.

I once suggested he should go by the name of "Freezerburn". Strangely, he ignored my suggestion.

I just watched America's Next Top Model.

I need a drink!

I just watched the Presidential debate. I'm not sure whether I need a drink or an antacid.

What can I get you, Miss T?

I changed outfits, Semi. I'll have a Bloody Bloke, please.

A Bloody Bloke, I forgot about that one.

BLOODY BLOKE - A Bloody Mary made with single malt scotch, a shot of beef bouillon, and a dash of horseradish in the tomato juice.

That should surely cure what ails you.

Ah, Shakes. If that's not something to be thankful for, I don't know what is.

Yummy! Hi Arachne - nice to meet you. I'm Miss T. or Misty.

Opal Nera, Archne? Long time no see. How have you been?

I'm doing fine, Semi, but I'm not drinnking nearly enough. (In other words, yes to the Opal Nera.)

Nice to meet you too, Miss T.

That Bloke did me. I'm off to sleepyville. Semi, charming and kind as always. Arachne, I like your taste in Legionnaires. (Vi's one of my faves!)

Till tomorrow!

Night Miss T. I have to go soon as well.

Well if Semis not here I guess I'll just have to help myself. Pours large one, and then goes and gets three or four crates out of the cellar. Looks at bottle lables.

"yup, this should make the punch at the dance taste a bit better"

I think I'll fix myself a mimosa.

Dang. Place is empty, and it's only 3 AM.

May as well line up some boilermakers while I'm here.

It's midnight here, bring out the margaritas!

Why not?

So, have you trashed your sister yet?

She's so elusive, screw her, let's gets plastered.

I don't really get drunk, but there's no harm in trying.

Here's another margarita for you, and another three brewskis for me. Here's mud in yer eye.

OW!!! My eye! *Flings the mud back and sips the margarita*

Aw man, who got mud on my uniform? I just got it back from the cleaners...

BITE ME, LOU! That's what you get for going evil and like, totally standing infront of Miner when I throw things at him.

*throws her margarita glass*

(ducks)

Sorry Viv. I just came in for a beer and I walk into the middle of a big mud fight. You guys had better clean all this up before Semi gets back!

Miner, you heard the demon child, clean up this mud before Semi gets here.

Am I plastered yet?

Yeesh. I think so. Maybe we'd better call you a cab...

Get your hands of me! I can get myself home. (Teleports, but reappears over Loser and falls)

Well, don't just sit on the floor, get me that cab.

Here, let me help you up. I think we'd better get you over to Cafe Cramer to get a little coffee in you while we're waiting for the cab to show up!

Caffiene! *bamf*

(The two are teleported to Cafe Cramer)

(Brings Semi T. a caramel cake, one of her specialties.)

It has 10 paper thin layers and homemade caramel frosting. I hope you like it Semi!

Wow, thanks, Miss T. I love caramel (I don't eat it often, because I have to keep in shape for thong season - but I love it all the same.)

Did you see who left all this mud in here?

I was asleep for the mudslinging. Maybe Abin will clean it up as part of his janitorial service?

Now that it's autumn I can eat more cake and worry less about my butt in a thong (at least for now).

I do have a date lined up for this coming weekend, though. I usually hate being fixed up, but I'm looking forward to this Friday "knight." *tee hee*

I hope he's a hottie.

Golly! Me too! Good teeth, good hair, and good manners go a long way to one's hotness in my book o' love, though! And, down the road, good hands get extra points. *Tee HEE!*

Quote

Originally posted by Semi Transparent Fellow:
Did you see who left all this mud in here?

Note to self: Avoid using colorful sayings around drunken sorceresses.

Okay Semi, The mess is all cleaned up, now I think I'll have a Joe n' Jonnie...

Miner, next time... Oh never mind, she'll take whatever you say the wrong way...

Aw man, I told you guys to clean up the mud BEFORE Semi got back! Do I have to do everything myself?!? *mutter, grumble*

At least Misty softened him up first with a delicious cake! Hopefully he won't be *too* upset about the mess...

Quote

Originally posted by Re-AniMiner:
Note to self: Avoid using colorful sayings around drunken sorceresses.

Just make sure you don't say "here's a little hair of the dog that bit you" too much when STU's around. We don't want a bald puppy!

Thanks for cleaning up the mess Mr. Quank and Mr. Loser. Troy and Babette are off this holiday weekend, so I appreciate the help.

Quote

Originally posted by Semi Transparent Fellow:
[QUOTE]Just make sure you don't say "here's a little hair of the dog that bit you" too much when STU's around. We don't want a bald puppy!

Nor do we want a bunch of people being rushed to Medicus Two for rabies shots!

Quote

Originally posted by Semi Transparent Fellow:
Thanks for cleaning up the mess Mr. Quank and Mr. Loser. Troy and Babette are off this holiday weekend, so I appreciate the help.

It's the least we could do. I hope Troy and Babette enjoy their holiday. Surely they deserve it having to tend to this lot all the time!

*sigh* Troy is so dreamy. I hope he becomes a real boy soon. *tee hee*

HI everyone.

Can I have a drink, Semi?

What would you like Danny? It's great to see you here

One SPace COwboy on the rocks...

Hi Danny, long time no see. How have you been?

Hey Danny! How's things? Good to see you!

And you too, my favorite Bartenders. Now if only that drunken puppy could join us...

A bourbon for me, and I'll let you pick the brande, Semi...

IM good! LIfe just has a way of keeping me busy...

A virgin mary, please.

Ah, a virgin mary. How about a virgin caesar, intead? Clamato juice, Worcestershire sauce, dash of tabasco, celery salt, and a wedge of lime.

Quick A glass of 20 year old port please i want to go back down stairs to watch a programme just for me.

"Grumpy Old Men" on the BBC in which men of a "certain" age blast forth on modern day things than annoy them. Mobile phones today

20 year old port coming right up. After "Grumpy Old Men," how about catching "Men with Breasts". I saw a bit of this last night on TLC (The Learning Channel). Very weird.

Quote

Originally posted by Semi Transparent Fellow:
Ah, a virgin mary. How about a virgin caesar, intead? Clamato juice, Worcestershire sauce, dash of tabasco, celery salt, and a wedge of lime.

Clamato juice? Well, one tries not to be rude, so I'll give it a go, Semi.

HP Viv, Caesars are popular on the east coast. Bartenders on the west coast never seem to know what they are. It's lighter than a "mary" and in my opinion, much tastier.

After all that beef wellington, merlot, and sherry trifle over at Club MLC, I think a virgin caesar with celery stalk would be a nice capper to my night.

A virgin caesar coming right up. All this virtual eating and drinking is really wearing on the virtual health, eh?

Semi, a question: what exactly is in a Bloody Mary, and is it similar to these 'virgin ceasers'? I never really was big on bloody Mary's until they saved me this summer when I was hungover on vacation.

Quote

Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:

Semi, a question: what exactly is in a Bloody Mary, and is it similar to these 'virgin ceasers'? I never really was big on bloody Mary's until they saved me this summer when I was hungover on vacation.

Cobie, a bloody mary is a bit of an art form. Season the rim of the glass by dipping it in lime or lemon juice and then rolling in a mixture of kosher or sea salt and freshly ground pepper. A bloody mary, like a caesar, starts with vodka (although some people will use gin - but that's just wrong, imo). The base for a bloody mary is tomato juice (but V8 Juice works well) - after that it depends on one's creativity. At a minimum, it is seasonned with salt and pepper, and most often with celery salt. I've seen horseradish added, and beef bouillion adds body to it. Absolutely essential is worcestershire sauce (Lea and Perrins). Tabasco is often added for an extra kick. Mary's are frequently garnsihed with a stalk of celery and a wedge of lime or lemon.

A virgin caesar sounds like a salad in a glass, but it taste great.

Sounds like your average Triumvir member, actually, but it's probably pretty good.

Gasp! Miner you dont mean!.........

Cobalt Kid has been lying to us all this time and he is really...........

The Virgin Caesar.

Could be...

Cobie a virgin? Unlikely. Now, enough of that. More drinking, right now.

Oh, happy day! A virgin Cobie would be favored by the Sisters of my space-nunnery. We would both be resplendent in white and our union would be a veritable Eden of possibility!

*dreamy sigh*

I think this calls for a round of Energon smoothies!

What's in an Energon smoothie? And if you say "Energon", please explain what Energon is. (I don't get out much, you see).

I'm not quite sure, Semi. I'm new to Transformer jargon as well. It's apparently the "fuel" of the Transformers. I'll just pass on the drink for now (until Kippers or Future explains it to us) and enjoy your company.

An afternoon with Semi is more enjoyable anyways.

Yeah, let's just have martinis and kick back. It's not busy here anyway.

Semi, I do hope G.R.L. isn't around today. I'm wearing Robotican today and she may try to steal my girl-candy.

GRL has rusted up a bit with the onset of fall. It's sad. She just sits immobile by the covered pool. I imagine she's dreaming of summer and the ladies synchro-swim team practices. I hate to see her in this condition. She was such a feisty gal, once.

What is this liquid substance leaking from my optical sensors?

Golly! Now I feel like offering GRL my girl-candy just to cheer her up!

MEAD! Mead

I have a thirst that will not be quenched by mere bagatelles.

So my dear dear Friend MR Fellow, where is the Joy in Life? where is the honour, eh? We sit here to drink whilst our colleagues go out to die in Glory.

Bring on the dancing girls, where is the gambling, the meat!

Drinks heavily

Mead, right away Hrun. The joy in life may be found in the flavour of mead lingering at the back of one's tongue after the first swallow. Honour may be found in loyalty. The dancing girls may be found at Shameless Hussies Bar, as may be found the gambling. The meat is typically found in one's pants.

To be loyal to ones Lord, to die with him.

That is Honour.

come friend lets us drink to those we have lost and the warriors we are yet to meet.

(and can you give me directions to this Shamless hussies you speak of? )

Shameless Hussies is down the street just past the Statue of Cobalt Kid I. It's a true den of iniquity (and some would say, inequity, given the prices they charge for drinks, not to mention a lap dance.)

Sorry? but people PAY for this????

As a true Barbarian, I take, never pay.

How many slave girls do they have?

I don't think any of them are slaves. But there are lots of dancing girls and boys. Some are customers and some are employees. It's difficult to tell which is which. But, they all seem to be having lots of fun. I suggest you go on "Thong Night."

Why get so many clothes on for that special night?

Anyway, many of the Shameless Hussies regulars will be at the mud-wrestling match between Miss T and Vivianne. Two headstrong women - I just knew it would come to this. This will be better than a Tonya Harding/Nancy Kerrigan rematch.

Me! Mud wrestle? I wouldn't give Miss T and the male population the pleasure.

<still wiping mud from eyes> But the flyers have already gone out. I've had a special wrasslin' bikini made for you - do you prefer metallic teal or copper? LW is depending on you.

I'll do it if I can have a platnium bikini.

Certainly, platinum would be very becoming on you.

Then it's agreed.

Who's going to be in your corner, to spray you down, towell you off, and what-not?

*cough*

Oh, hi Viv. Semi. What were we talking about?

Hey, Viv, why not have Loser Lad in your corner. You two are close -- why he can practically read your mind. You two are good together. There, it's settled, right?

Works for me!

Now we have to find someone for Miss T.

I'm sure Cobie wouldn't mind toweling Misty down.

Or Future, for that matter. Miss T might just have to have two towel boys.

God, this'll be like having a license to print money.

<pours beer; chugs>

I've got to get me one of those!

Sorry, it's all mine.

Dang.

Can I at least have a license to spend some of it? That's all I really need.

Hmmmm....

<pours beer; chugs>

No.

@#%&!

If I did that, you would have to change your name, and it just wouldn't be the same.

Nice round of Beetle Bailey-style cursing, btw.

Hey. Thanks. I've been practicing!

Well, Miss T can't have two towel boys and Viv only have one! Future can be the towel boy, since I prefer making the mess instead of cleaning it

Besides, someone needs to keep dumping fresh mud and jell-o on them from the sky...

I have a question, who's going to wash my hair, I'll need at least three non-lesbianic robots, with strong upper body strength to get that crud out?

Check with Actor Lad. I hear he builds some groovy robots. He might have something in stock that can help you with that.

Great, as long as their lesbianic, I don't need any perverts coping a feel.

I'm sure he can tune 'em which ever way you'd like. Besides, if I'm going to be your towel boy I certainly don't need any robots getting in my way

Your "way," and where are you planning to go with me?

Where ever you'd like my dear.

You mean that.

Of course.

(This is going to end badly for me, isn't it...?)

I'd like for you to go to Medicus Two.

(Breaks glass and sticks him with the point end)

Have fun!

See, I knew it. Now I'm going to bleed all over Semi's nice clean floor.

*passes out*

Clean up on barstool #18!

Oh my. Babette, bring the first aid kit.

Loser, sweet punkin', let me bandage than for you. I'll kiss it better. Feel ok, sweet thing?

Thanks Babette.

Today is a special Ggrrgg Day celebration in honor of Cobie's home planet. In commemorating this special day, you are all asked to respect Ggrrggian tradition. Therefore please observe the following rule:

NO FLIRTING WITH COBIE TODAY

Violations of this rule will result in a one-day banishment to Dr. Mayavale's clinic.

Thanks Semi for having Ggrrgg day here at SHAKES for me!

*choke*

I knew my culture would be welcome, but I'm still choked up!

Just to make certain you don't get tempted, I gave Babette the day off.

What's a special Ggrrggian drink? I'll make it for you.

I think we usually drink the sacred drink of bourbon throughout this entire holiday season. A slow continuous buzz combnied with abstinence is a major part of Rrrkkkggghhh!

Ah, I get it. How about a Ggrrgian Manhattan?

Poor Cobie, maybe Babette better not serve him today.

I missed Ggrrgg day? Dang.

Better make up for it, I guess.

<lays out six shots of bourbon>

Miner, we can have a special Ggrrgg day for you too.

NO FLIRTING WITH MINER TODAY!

or you will forfeit your drinking privileges at SHAKES for 2 days.

Thanks, Semi, that's very sweet.

(Not that it was going to be an issue.)

**Purr**

Is rubbing against several of Miner's legs considered flirting?

**Purr**

Perhaps it's the carapace. Aren't you about due for a metamorphosis?

I'm unsure about the leg thing. So we'll let it go.

Few of my people opt for the metamorphosis deal. Too unpredictable. Last guy who tried it ended up looking like Tammy Faye Baker after a nine-round boxing match with Thor.

Semi, is there a private booth where I could enjoy a drink?

I'm avoiding the Ggrrggian out of respect for his Rickets month celebration.

Why you know that we have several private booths to the left of the fireplace, near the picture window overlooking the spectacular view of Mount Eruptus.

Miner, I think they can control the metamorphosis now. The worst you could end up looking like is Jim Baker, and I hear he's pretty popular in prison.

Oh, there's an incentive.

I was just trying to be helpful.

(Takes a bottle of blood red merlot and retires to the cornter.)

Miss T, are you feeling down?

Quote

Originally posted by Re-AniMiner:
Last guy who tried it ended up looking like Tammy Faye Baker after a nine-round boxing match with Thor.

So what's the difference?

I'd like a Cheese Breeze, please.

Yeah, and I'll have a Red Ranger.

I still can't believe I invented a Cheese Breeze. What was I thinking. It sounds like something you'd find on the Taco Bell Lite menu.

Quote

Originally posted by Zombie STU:

Quote

Originally posted by Re-AniMiner:
[b]Last guy who tried it ended up looking like Tammy Faye Baker after a nine-round boxing match with Thor.

So what's the difference?[/b]

No makeup.

or Botox.

Or JM J Bullock as a sidekick.

I think I'll fix myself a strawberry margarita. Yum!

Today at SHAKES we're having a "Show Your Tattoo" special. All SHAKES customers have to show their tattoo, or at least describe it. If you don't have one, tell what you'd like.

I don't have one, but I'd like a maple leaf or a beaver (the Canadian national animal) on my shoulder.

We do not consider them "tatoos" but I do have a crescent moon craved on my a symbol of my priestesshood.

Does that qualify?

Kinda, I guess. What's it on?

My forehead.

I've never really thought about a tattoo, seriously, so I'll just throw something out there: a peach on my pubic bone below the panty line.

Quote

Originally posted by DivineOpalJanell:
My forehead.

I don't know if that was a joke and I mean no disrespect, but ...

I would like a black dragon, more graphic then typical chinese dragon, on my shoulder.

I was talking about my character, I actually am tatoo free. But I come as Opal, so I get that free drink, right?

I don't have a tatoo either.

But if I did, it would either be the face from the cover of the first King Crimson LP, or an ankh.

I have a tattoo of my face on my back, so when I'm at the beach or pool, people who are standing behind me can tell it's me without having to run around to check.

Come to think of it, I could have also just tattooed my name on my back.

Although some people recognize me on sight, but don't know my name.

Hmm.

Actually, I think I prefer to be mysterious.

I'll get rid of the face tattoo and just have one that says,

"Guess whose back!"

Here's a toast to Miner to celebrate his 4000th post, and to Abin to celebrate his (relatively recent) 3000th post!

Thank you kindly, Stu!

Here's to Abin!

Congratulations Miner (my rescuer) and bio-father Abin!

Is this the tatoo you want, Miner?

[Linked Image]

Yikes!

I think I need a Fearless Leader to cope with that frightening image.

That's the one, Semi.

I think it would look pretty good on my back.

In day-glo colors. That way it would show up in the black lights when you took your shirt off at all-night raves.

I'm betting that would leave me with plenty of room to myself on the dance floor.

yowser!

What a sight first thing in the morning. I think I'd better go get a cup of Tea at Cramers to calm my nerves.

and that pictures a bit worrying too

Egads, the advertising I have to do, day after day after day, just to keep this bar up front. I think I need a PR firm.

That tatoo was kinda scary - and it's not even Hallowe'en yet. How about a simple sparkling water with Angostura bitters to help me calm down?

Absolutely, and shall I add a squeeze of lime?

In Miner's defense, he didn't say he had such a tattoo, only that if he were going to get a tattoo, he would consider that, along with an ankh. I like to think he would choose the ankh.

What are "bitters" and are they really bitter?

The best known bitters are Angostura. Here's the blurb from their web-site.

ANGOSTURA aromatic bitters is a highly concentrated food and beverage flavouring. Made from a secret formula, it is a unique blend of natural herbs and spices which is used to flavour a wide variety of foods and drinks.

The "secret" was developed in 1824 by Dr. J.G.B. Siegert, a Surgeon General in Simon Bolivar's army in Venezuela. He used his aromatic bitters to improve appetite and digestive well-being of the soldiers. The word "Angostura" came from the town of that name in Venezuela where Dr. Siegert was based.
[Linked Image]

Of course SHAKES carries a full line of bitters.

Time for a song, hope you don't mind but this is one of the first songs I learned on the piano, and I love it!

If only I could sing like Karen Carpenter

Day after day I must face a world of strangers
Where I don't belong I'm not that strong
It's nice to know that there's someone I can turn to
Who will always care, you're always there

When there's no getting over that rainbow
When the smallest of dreams won't come true
I can take all the madness the world has to give
But I won't last a day without you

So many times when the city seems to be without a friendly face - A lonely place!
It's nice to know that you'll be there if I need you
And you'll always smile - it's all worthwhile!

When there's no getting over that rainbow
When the smallest of dreams won't come true
I can take all the madness the world has to give
But I won't last a day without you

Touch me and I end up singing.
Troubles just up and disappear!
You touch me with the love you're bringing
I can't really lose when you're near
(when you're near my love)

If all the folks have forgotten half their promises they're not unkind - just hard to find!
One look at you and I know that I could learn to live without the rest - I've found the best!

When there's no getting over that rainbow
When the smallest of dreams won't come true
I can take all the madness the world has to give
But I won't last a day without you

I won't last a day without you.

Night night Legionworlders, sweet dreams

Bxx

I'm literally crying multitudinous galvanized tin buckets of sentimental yet salty tears which are flowing down my carefully moisturized cheeks and dripping off the end of my chin into the aforesaid buckets. Bravo. You need a drink, Belinda.

Oh sod it! Encore, more Carpenters for you all.

Talking to myself and feeling old
Sometimes I'd like to quit
Nothing ever seems to quit
Hanging around, nothing to do but frown
Rainy days and Mondays always
Get me down

What I've got they used to call "the Blues",
Nothing is really wrong, feeling like I don't belong
Walking around, some kinda lonely clown
Rainy Days and Monday alwaysget me down

Funny but it seems I always seem to wind up here with you, nice to know somebody loves me
Funny but it seems it's the only thing to do - run and find the one who loves me

What I feel has come and gone before
No need to talk it out
We know what it's all aboutHanging around, nothing to do but frown
Rainy days and Monday always get me down

Funny but it seems it's the only thing to do - run and find the one who loves me

What I feel has come and gone before,
No need to talk it out, we know what it's all about
Hanging around, nothing to do but frown
Rainy days and Mondays always get me down
rainy days and mondays always get
Me down.

Quote

Originally posted by Semi Transparent Fellow:
I'm literally crying multitudinous galvanized tin buckets of sentimental yet salty tears which are flowing down my carefully moisturized cheeks and dripping off the end of my chin into the aforesaid buckets. Bravo. You need a drink, Belinda.

Bless you, I'd love an iced tea please Semi.

One iced tea, Long Island style, coming right up.

And finally, a song just for our fine Fellow of a bar manager, and all round great guy

Why do birds suddenly appear
Everytime you are near?
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you!

Why do stars fall down from the sky
Everytime you walk by?
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you!

On the day that you were born the angels got together
And decided to create a dream come true
So they sprinkled moondust in your hair
And golden starlight in your eyes of blue!

That is why all the girls in town
Follow you all around
Just like me
They long to be
Close to you!

On the day that you were born the angels got together
And decided to create a dream come true
So they sprinkled moondust in your hair
And golden starlight in your eyes of blue!

That is why
All the Boyz in town
Follow you all around
Just like me
They long to be
Close to you

Just like me
They long to be
Close to You

Close to you

And STF, we all know it's true!

Have a great night sweetheart, I need to get ready for abusy day tomorrow now, thanks for the Tea and company

Bxx

Gosh, if I had wings and incredible shrinking powers, I'd fly up and whisper sweet nothings in your ear. I'd probably also have to change my name to Semi Tinker Fella.

Have a good night, Belinda.

Finally, it's Friday. I'm at a loss to think of special Friday afternoon festivities for SHAKES. Any suggestions?

maybe the match between lash and jack could take place here.

No, Shameless Hussy's already has a wrestling pit.

I think Shakes will have a live simul-cast (sp?) on the jumbotron here (for those who don't want to venture into the Shameless Hussy)

Oh yes, I forgot about the Jumbotron. I had it put in storage because somebody keep watching ancient archival holo-vids of the Woody Allen/Olsen Twin nuptials. It might be a good time to bring it out, provided those vids never re-appear.

Woody Allen was a great hero of the 21st century, correct? He and his twin brides saved Planet Earth from some type of Sun-Eater, although David Coulier gave his life to stop it in the end IIRC...

I think that's the story, but it changes depending on the writer. Like so much of the 20th and 21st century history, it's hard to separate myth from fact. The only thing I'm really sure of is that Nixon built the Great Wall of China when he visited there.

And he made one gate completely out of water. That was the famous Watergate.

Good one.

Evening Semi, Can i have a night cap please

You'll have to go to the legion world haberdashery for that, Far.

But how about a drink instead?

Since Far isn't here anymore, I'll take his drink.

And a couple more just like it.

[CHUG]

I think I'll join you.

Being interviewed gives a bug a strong thirst.

The stool watched your interview. I think it had more grandeur ideas about your relationship, Miner.

While they talk it out, I'll have a water, no ice.

Who wants these official SHAKES night caps - I just got my order in from Legion World Haberdashery. Miner, STU, DivineOJ. You'll all look swell in an official SHAKES night cap.

Miner, here's three beers. STU, an Eruptus Fizz for you. DivineOJ, a fresh SHAKES limeade.

Thanks Semi, tasty as ever. Now, where has Future been lately, I haven't seen him for about a week.

Thank you kindly, Semi.

Evidently I need to work out a new seating arrangement.

Yeah, where has that boy been? His movie house is all shuttered up. He's probably drag-racing down the mainstreet of some mid-western town.

How about I bring one of the club chairs over from the fireplace and put it at the bar. I'll slip a couple of anti-grav coasters under it to raise it to bar level.

You're a prince among barkeeps, Semi. That'll do nicely.

(Walks into SHAKES for the "first" time. Immediately comforted by the lively ambience.)

Bartender, may I have...

S- Semi T.! I remember you. You were one of my best friends before I got rebooted. Do you recognize me?

Sparkles, of course I remember you. You had white blonde hair and ample cleavage. You need a drink. I'm shaking Eruptus Fizzes tonight. No wait, something special for you a Misty Delight, yeah that's the ticket.

I'd like an Ample Cleavage, please.

That sounds divine! Thank you for welcoming the "new" me, Semi. I'm glad I didn't become a snake. "Snisty," just doesn't sound too appealing.

I'd just make you cry, STU.

Well, whoever you are, you do good interviews.

If I may, Misty, I liked the blonde look. Maybe Babette could help you out.

Quote

Originally posted by Re-AniMiner:
Well, whoever you are, you do good interviews.

That is very kind of you, Miner. I would love to be a Barbara Walters type someday.

But, let's face it, so far I've interviewed, STU, MLLASH, and yourself. With spectacular guests like that, the interview comes naturally.

Quote

Originally posted by Myriad:
I'd just make you cry, STU.

Not quite crying yet, but my eyes are definitely Miss T...

*groan*

Three more, please, Semi.

Three more beers, Miner. Don't fall off the chair. It's 2 feet off the ground, remember.

I appreciate it, but I've got it all under control.

<chugs>

I'm just moving this keg to beside your chair. It'll make refills quicker.

Now, that's what I call service. Thankee kindly.

The least we can do for our best customer.

I kind of like the dark hair, Semi. I'm thinking of a starting a contest thread in Bits, asking LW artists to post their "vision" of my new self. That may be too presumptious or egotistical on my part, though. I'll debate it.

Myriad, I've been thinking the same thing, if you do it, I will.

(that way two of us can feel like crap when people say 'no' and two of us can feel ecstatic when people say 'yes')

Myriad, is it now? Hah! I'm calling you Crazy Jane - and I don't mean that unkindly! Just read Morrison's Doom Patrol last night...

Semi - could you mix me up a Crazy Jane drink? I'll leave the exact composition to your excellent bartending skills. Just keep it a little light on the Crazy...

Crazy Jane works for me, Cramey. I thought she was a great character. It's not Legionish enough for me to use here.

Myriad was an idea I had for a Triad upgrade. And, frankly, Miss T. was beginning to wear thin. I do like the nickname I gained from Miss Terious, though. "Misty" is much cooler than my boring real name.

But, as far as the MMB is concerned, Miss Terious has been rebooted away, existing in some branch of Hypertime. In her place, is Myriad of the LMBP.

And, I'll take a Cramey Jane, Semi. With extra Cramey.

Quote

Originally posted by DivineOpalJanell:
Myriad, I've been thinking the same thing, if you do it, I will.

(that way two of us can feel like crap when people say 'no' and two of us can feel ecstatic when people say 'yes')

What did you thik of those Tom Burgos drawings on that website I linked for you? The CrossGen girl, Scarlet Witch as postboot Legionnaire, human Jeckie postboot Legionnaire, and Jennifer Morgan pics are all sexy sorceresses. Maybe Lou could add background color for depth.

You've mentioned gypsy ancestry before and I thought of you when I saw the Scarlet Witch Legionnaire.

A Crazy Jane coming right up:

Vodka
Bourbon
Bitters
Tobasco
A raw egg
Tomato juice
stir and top with a shot of Grappa

Don't try this at home kids.

But it's perfectly safe at Legion World. Delicious! I'm fractalled!

If Semi made it, I'll try it anywhere!

And Myriad- I like the new name/personna!

Thanks CK!

"Another Saturday night and I ain't got nobody
I've got some money 'cause I just got paid
Now how I wish I had someone to talk to
I'm in an awful way ..."

Actually, I'm not in an awful way. I kind of enjoy a quiet Saturday evening. I've got movies to watch and dogs to snuggle with. Could be worse.

Cheer up, sunshine! Misty's in da house!

Now, if only we could entice Lashkins to join our party...

The fire is roaring, Dinah Washington is singing "I remember you", we have martinis - what could be better. Oh, I know --- would you care to dance?

Let's shurg, Semi!

Do you watusi?

Actually, it's a slow dance.

Then by all means, sir. Curtsies.

No need for formality, Misty, after all, this isn't your cotillion.

Evening, folks.

I'll have three Crazy Janes, please. With extra Tobasco.

Evening Miner

3 beers coming right up

I wish to be served.

Where are all the hot grrrls tonight?

GRL, you've arisen. Glad to see you back in action. What can I get you? Myriad was here. She's hot.

I shall leave my drink to the sound discretion of the proprietor.

Quote

Originally posted by Myriad:

Quote

Originally posted by DivineOpalJanell:
[b] Myriad, I've been thinking the same thing, if you do it, I will.

(that way two of us can feel like crap when people say 'no' and two of us can feel ecstatic when people say 'yes')

What did you thik of those Tom Burgos drawings on that website I linked for you? The CrossGen girl, Scarlet Witch as postboot Legionnaire, human Jeckie postboot Legionnaire, and Jennifer Morgan pics are all sexy sorceresses. Maybe Lou could add background color for depth.

You've mentioned gypsy ancestry before and I thought of you when I saw the Scarlet Witch Legionnaire.[/b]

Truly Outrageous! I loved them, thanks for the link.

How about a Boiler Maker, but with 10W40 instead of booze?

May I please have a limeade?

Okay.

In the meantime, I'll plant myself here and wait for the hot one called "Myriad" to show.

Of course DivineOJ. Have you met Giant Robotic Lesbian, or GRL as we call her?

I've heard horror stories about her, mostly from Cobalt.

Cobie just doesn't understand her. His excess manliness just riles her up.

So she won't jump me for my body?

No, she mostly sits immobile. She likes rough girls, I think.

I guess I'm safe then, although I can get a spark of feline mobility every now and then.

GRL is big and powerful, but slow moving. Looks like she's shut down for the night anyway. I just wish she had parked her bucket butt outside instead of at the bar. Even I'm not stupid enough to wake her, though.

I had Babette and Troy carry GRL out to her favorite spot on the deck. The seats at the bar are now freed up for non-rusting patrons.

Quote

Originally posted by High Priestess Viviane:
I've heard horror stories about her, mostly from Cobalt.

I wonder never speak ill of GRL! We're practially best buds now that she's my bodyguard against young women throwing themselves at me!

How is that self imposed chastity going, Cobie? How about a drink?

(The new laison of Avalon)

I'm looking for the Security Office.

We don't have security at SHAKES. All of our customers are so well-behaved (except Hrun, and Space-Ranger, once - but it was a misunderstanding).

And yet, SHAKES may as well be LW's Security Office since that's where they spend most of their time.

Hey, Misty. I hope you don't mind that I call you Misty, but you'll always be Misty to me, whatever skinyou're wearing. How about a little vodka, peach liquer and peach juice with a sprig of mint. Specially for our Georgia gal.

Misty works for me, Semi. That drink sounds groovy. Maybe call it a Georgia Girl? Either way, give me a double, please.

No, we'll call it a Peach Mist. Now you're the first LW'er to have two drinks named after her. I better come up with some new drinks for the other worthies.

It's very tasty.

I hang out here to escape the stress of my ten or so jobs on Legion World...

Luckily for me, Semi, Vee and the regulars are usually here

Vee's been spending a lot of time at the Variable Villa.

Lots to do there these days but that doesn't mean I don't stop by here as often as I can. How's my SemiSweets today?

Y'all should sponsor a Villa-SHAKES celebration. Drink all you want and sleep it off too.

I'm not exactly sure what Vee's policy is concerning Villa sleep-overs.

"Clothing optional, but frowned upon..."

I remember the days when the toxic five used to keep a healthy amount of riff-raff going on at Vee's Villa...

(What were we called? "Toxic Five" isn't it, I don't think...)

Evening everyone, how are you all?

Semi, could I trouble you for a glass of chilled izzy water please? Just a little ice and a slice of lime please?

Thanks, I'll be over in the corner tinkling on the old joanna. Anything you'd like me to play?

While you're thinking I'm going to give a quick rendition of Amelia by the sublime Joni Mitchell

"I was driving accross the burning desert
when I spotted six jet planes
Leaving six white vapor trails accross the bleak terrain
It was a hexagram of the heavens
It was the strings of my guitar
Amelia, it was just a false alarm.."

Izzy water? Do you mean fizzy water?

<Clap, clap, clap> Bravo!!!

Belinda, could you possibly do Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah"? It's perfect for the coloratura soprano I know you have, but don't trot out very often.

oh Fizzy water would be fine, thanks, you're a champ!

While I'm here at the piano, is there anything you'd like to hear?

Sits transfixed...if Belinda is playing the piano and singing, everyhting else can wait!

Quote

Originally posted by Myriad:
Y'all should sponsor a Villa-SHAKES celebration. Drink all you want and sleep it off too.

I think that's what we've been doing all along!

Vee, here's a rum and coke for you to enjoy while listening to Belinda.

Quote

Originally posted by Pov:
"Clothing optional, but frowned upon..."

I have that embossed in gold on a small plaque at the entryway!

Quote

Originally posted by Semi Transparent Fellow:
Vee, here's a rum and coke for you to enjoy while listening to Belinda.

Thanks Semi! Why don't you pour yourself one and join me? It's not often we get the chance to relax and listen to B's dulcet tones anymore.

Oh, I thought the Villa just accomodated CK and Lou's drunken binges. Glad there's room for everyone.

I'll pour myself a diet rite raspberry soda and join you Vee. Let's sit by the picture window and enjoy the view of the snow on Mount Eruptus.

Quote

Originally posted by Myriad:
Oh, I thought the Villa just accomodated CK and Lou's drunken binges. Glad there's room for everyone.

There's plenty of room at the Villa, Misty, though we do specialize in taking care of CK, Lou, and others' drunken binges.

Quote

Originally posted by Semi Transparent Fellow:
I'll pour myself a diet rite raspberry soda and join you Vee. Let's sit by the picture window and enjoy the view of the snow on Mount Eruptus.

Sounds wonderful! Here, I'll scoot over to make room for you.

It's nice to sit and rest once in a while. How's the roof coming along?

Got the temporary repairs done but it looks like it may be a few months before they're able to start the replacement. Everyhting else pretty much needs to wait on that so I'll be "under construction" for a while I'm afraid.

A wish from the Serendipity Singers (back in the 60's),

"Oh, no, don't let the rain come down
My roof's got a hole in it and I might drown
Oh, yes, my roof's got a hole in it and I might drown"

Haven't heard that name in eons!

Acutally, that was probably 50's - pre rock and roll.

Time to invoke the Empress' protection once again. Despite the craziness going on in Legion World, you will always find a safe haven at SHAKES, where politics, war, schemes, lust for power, etc. will never intrude upon our peaceful, albeit banal, existence.

Where has

been lately? Don't make me come to Spain and find ya!

There are two Emerald Empresses. Our protector is different from the Empress of Spain.

Eeh. The question remains, where is she?

Oh, I have no doubt that she'll show up if needed. She ususally does.

How can there be two Emerald Empresses? You can't register the same ID twice.

One has a space between the two words, the other doesn't.

I can't even register with my old names.

That's one of the drawbacks to the current server (I think that's the problem). Just send a PM to Gary asking him to switch your public name to the ID you're trying to pull up. At his convenience, of course.

That's what I thought because Portfolio Boy was having problems with his name and asked something to that extent.

EmeraldEmpress = poster from Spain that mainly sticks to Legion forum.

Emerald Empress = poster who mainly posts in MMB, is protector of SHAKES and a fellow security officer.

Security Office, what rubbish under the leadership of Lash's pup, Cobalt, where is the integrity?

Quote

Originally posted by Pizzazz:
Cobie, I love you!

Wow Viv! I don't know what to say!

How about, "I'll croak over now."

Quote

Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
Emerald Empress = poster who mainly posts in MMB, is protector of SHAKES and a fellow security officer.

And one of my exes.

Quote

Originally posted by Pizzazz:
Just kiss me you fool!

Ok, if you say so!

Quote

Originally posted by Zombie STU:

Quote

Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
[b]Emerald Empress = poster who mainly posts in MMB, is protector of SHAKES and a fellow security officer.

And one of my exes.[/b]

Actually, one of mine too. And Space Ranger's if I remember correctly...

Quote

Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:

Quote

Originally posted by Pizzazz:
[b]Just kiss me you fool!

Ok, if you say so![/b]

Wasn't I talking to Future! You know a real man.

Quote

Originally posted by Pizzazz:

Quote

Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
[b]

Quote

Originally posted by Pizzazz:
[b]Just kiss me you fool!

Ok, if you say so![/b]

Wasn't I talking to Future! You know a real man.[/b]

(Wow, she's getting angry now!

Time to change strategies?)

Pizzy, let's call a truce. I like it better when you're not trying to fight me and Lash and having fun with us. What say you?

Quote

Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:

Quote

Originally posted by Zombie STU:
[b]

Quote

Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
[b]Emerald Empress = poster who mainly posts in MMB, is protector of SHAKES and a fellow security officer.

And one of my exes.[/b]

Actually, one of mine too. And Space Ranger's if I remember correctly...[/b]

Actually, Space Ranger is the son of Emerald Empress and me! It was because of a time conundrum, or something like that...

And what about the truth and justice and all the other crap Viviane made me swear to before she would give me my powers.

I just want to blast stuff!

(aims hand at Cobie)

Is this the mixed drink for Pizzazz?

It just looks like day-old Gatorade!

Quote

Originally posted by Pizzazz:
I just want to blast stuff!

(aims hand at Cobie)

Not. In. The. Bar.

Take him outside and blast him if you have to.

Male hormones are repugnantly abundant tonight.

Thanks Miner, at least there's one cool head in the place. Jeesh!

Hey, here's a toast to Myriad, for her 1000th post!

Congrats to the Divine Miss M!

Thank you, kindly.

Thankfully, SHAKES is still an Oasis of piece and quiet. 3 more Miner?

While I await the arrival of the lovely Babette, may I have a Fellows Martini, please?

<Puts on Babette costume>

Happy Halloween

<Smooch>!

Hey Danny!

A fellows martini sounds good to me too!

Oh honey child, you look silly in that get-up. Big manly man like you should wear anything but a silver thong.

Quote

Originally posted by Semi Transparent Fellow:
Thankfully, SHAKES is still an Oasis of piece and quiet. 3 more Miner?

Yes, thanks.

I'll say this: While there's a drop of blood in my body and a drop of beer in those kegs, I will defend SHAKES to the utmost.

Id like a rum and coke please...

Hooray for Myriad, the Legionworld's Misty!!!

Quote

Originally posted by Danny Blaine:
<Puts on Babette costume>

Happy Halloween

<Smooch>!

Danny!

So good to see ya here.

Here's a Blaine Blaster in your honor!

Oh I'll take some ginger ale.

Hey STU,

Missed you too!

Whats up?

[enjoys Fellows Martini, then Blaine Blaster]

I've been very busy with work, and was also under the weather for a while.

But the weather's always nice and the company's always agreeable here on LW!

How 'bout you, DB?

Thanks Miner, I knew I could count on you.

Everybody's gotta have something to believe in.

I believe I'll have three more beers.

(The old gags are best)

Hi Danny, how are you.

I'll get those for you Miner, dear.

Well, hello there...!

[rakishly raises one eyebrow]

Tell me, babe, when do you get off work?

Good Semi! And you?

Stu, been working quite a bit. I went to St Paul on business last week and am gearing up for the big year end sales contest at work. This year's trip is to the Grand Caymans.

And here's a toast to Semi's 4700th post!

He's the best!

Congrats for Semi!

(kisses)

Wow, I hope you win. I went to the Caymans back in 1986. If you go, you must go scuba diving. It's wonderful there. Take lessons before you go. It'll make your trip so much more fun.

Thanks for the kisses Pizzazz.

:

Quote

Originally posted by Danny Blaine:
Stu, been working quite a bit. I went to St Paul on business last week and am gearing up for the big year end sales contest at work. This year's trip is to the Grand Caymans.

Wow, I heard Minnesota is already pretty cold by now!

And good luck on the year-end sales contest -- I hope you get another well-deserved vacation to a beautiful island!

Congrats to Semi on 4700! Way to go!

Thanks Stu. I'm coming up right behind you (in my dreams, yeah!)

Pizzazz honey, did anyone ever bring you your ginger ale? Never mind, I'll get it. You just cozy up by the fire and relax.

Thanks Miner, another 3? You sure you're not part Carggite?

Why thank you, Babette. You're such a dear.

St. Paul wasn't that bad. It was cool and rainy here in Cincy before I left and about the same in St. Paul.

IT was a good trip but I got waaaay too drunk at happy hour. I drink very rarely (the last time was in Hawaii in early March) so I was pretty toasty because the bar at the hotel had FREE happy hour from 5 30 to 7 30.

Quote

Originally posted by Semi Transparent Fellow:
Thanks Miner, another 3? You sure you're not part Carggite?

Yes and no, respectively.

Here's your three beers, Miner. Anything else you want, you just whistle. You do know how to whistle, don't you, Miner?

Put your beak together and blow???

Close enough for rock 'n' roll.

Thanks, Babette.

I would imagine a bug whistle involves rubbing the hind legs against the boney carapace. But I don't really need to know the details.

Babette, would you like to go to a droid bar with me?

Babette is your crush, then?

Why STUey, I'd love to, after I get off work in about 5 hours. Will you wait for me, Punkin'?

Quote

Originally posted by Myriad:
Babette is your crush, then?

What, you think I'm robosexual?

Quote

Originally posted by Babette:
Why STUey, I'd love to, after I get off work in about 5 hours. Will you wait for me, Punkin'?

Will I ever...!

In the meantime, I'll just curl up here behind the bar and take a lil' nap. See you in five, honeybunch!

Puppies are so cute. My boyfriend will like this one.

*sigh* One day I'll meet a LW straight man smart enough to openly pursue me. Until then I'll pour all of my affections on Semi T. and Lashkins.

We make good friends.

And, sometimes, if I get you drunk enough. Good friends with benefits.

Cobie's straight, he just strays too much, and he wonders why I won't let him have his way with me.

Quote

Originally posted by Pizzazz:
Cobie's straight, he just strays too much, and he wonders why I won't let him have his way with me.

Hmmm...I was wondering about that.

It looks like I missed a good night at SHAKES! Danny, be sure to come back!

You did miss a good night, Cobie. SHAKES was a veritable oasis of peace and comraderie in the midst of the turmoil that is now Legion World.

Well, that turmoil was used a training strategy for Viv and Misty, Semi! Sorry to get everyone in a stir, but we had to make sure they'd react well in a tough situation (which, they did).

Um...yeah, that was it!

I hope that's not a preview of how your security squad will act during a real emergency. It wasn't so much the co-ordinated response of a well trained security force as it was an uncontrolled hissy fit. More training is certainly in order.

Aw! Well, it wasn't a security protocol, it was just a test to see how Pizzazz and Myriad would respond. You can rest assured Semi that I will continue to operate in a professional manner, as I always have (well, at least where LW Security if concerned). I was acting in the role of an attacker, not how I would if I were acting as Security Chief.

So, if we'd taken the bait (as it were) and given ourselves to you carnally, we would have failed this "test"?

Note to the women of Legion World: if you want to succeed and be respected, don't have sex with Cobie.

Golly! Thanks for the tip, CK!

*Sigh*

Myri, I wasn't trying to make you two give yourselves carnally to me, I was trying to get you to battle me in the skies. To do so, I was baiting you both into a fight.

I still have a few days before I can try to get you to give yourself carnally to me again

(And boy, do they seem like a long time...)

Don't hide behind metaphors.

"Battle me in the skies"

Ggrrggian oaf!

Semi, darling, don't you mean "STILL under the protection of ..."?

I don't recall withdrawing my protective eye. But if you want me too...

Empy, if you're still around, you're welcome to come shopping at Bevis's Boutique with Spacey and me!

Thank you Tiffany! I would but I haven't been able to track down that no good Cobie in order to collect all my back pay. You know how he is!

Yay! Emerald Empress, you have that sexy roguish royal look that only comes naturally to a very few!

Quote

Originally posted by Emerald Empress:
Thank you Tiffany! I would but I haven't been able to track down that no good Cobie in order to collect all my back pay. You know how he is!

Empress, I think he has all your pay in a secret envelope that he slipped into your office. I know, because I was paying him a ‘visit’ while he was working! *tee hee*

Cobie only speaks the highest of you and would never do you wrong!

Aren't you rich, Empy? Being an Empress and all?

It doesn't matter, anyway! We're out spending daddy and hubby's money, so we've got plenty to go around!

Well, since we're here, we might as well have a few cosmos!

*tee hee*

Maybe we can catch a glimpse of those cuties Semi and Vee! If they're not off being naughty of course!

I love cosmos! They're almost my favorite drink!

Ooh, maybe Harbinger could have a drink with us!

Now there is a women who knows how to get her way with the men around here!

*tee hee*

Hi ladies! Can I get you each a drink?

Quote

Originally posted by Emerald Empress:
Semi, darling, don't you mean "STILL under the protection of ..."?

I don't recall withdrawing my protective eye. But if you want me too...

Never, Empress. I did mean still, how silly of me. I don't always advertise your protection though, just when I expect trouble - it's more of a deterent than anything. I don't want to bother you unnecessarily.

Does the Emerald Empress have a signature drink?

If so, I'd like one, please.

I'm not sure. Could you check your archive and let me know.

I don't see anything.

Maybe she would like a Cheese Breeze? She does have those little whiskers, kind of like Rody...

The Empress Elixir

Midori Melon Liquer
Lime Juice
Spritz of Soda
Dash of Sugar
and
Heradura Silver Tequila

Green and just a touch of mean!

I like it.

[CHUG]

Put a frozen eyeball in the glass and it's the perfect libation for Halloween!

I never thought that a Cheese Breeze was funny until Semi said "Cheese Breeze? What the hell was I thinking?". Now I get a big

out of it everytime!

I'll have a Cobalt Blue -- official drink of LW's Security Office!

I'll join you for one, my puppy-duck friend! (It might not fit anymore, but it's been awhile since I said that...)

Don't forget my STU Lion phase -- when I scared the hairballs out of that Stoopid Cat.

I even get nostalgic about the mean bull-dog avatar of the Dark Stu phase

**HSST**

Talking about that ugly dog again?

Stoopid Cat, I have something special for you today. - a bowl of Devonshire Cream (a holiday treat). Would you like your bowl on the bar or on the floor behind the bar?

Sits down heavily on Bar stool.

Can I have a large Gin and tonic please Semi. Make it a Bombay Saffire as well, its been a long day and I need a treat.

Oh and turn the holoviewer on I want to watch the Newcastle cup game. Cheers!

One gin and tonic coming right up, Far. Would you like lime with that? What about ice, or would you like it like Mr. Bond does?

We have personal holoviewers, now. Just stick this holo-dot to your temple and each time you close your eyes or look at a dark space, you'll see a holo-image. Change channels telephathically.

I need a drink. Too bad they don't allow it in the computer labs.

I'll just have to make do with virtual Opal Nera.

I'm a Bombay Sapphire fan myself, Darden! On the rocks with lime please!

Semi, we've talked Martinis before, but I like hearing martini talk from the master. When do martinis usually come with cucumber instead of olives? We young studs need to learn this etiquette you know...

Quote

Originally posted by Arachne:
I need a drink. Too bad they don't allow it in the computer labs.

I'll just have to make do with virtual Opal Nera.

When they start though, let me know and I know where I'll be typing my papers!

One virtual opal nera coming right up Arachne. Awfully early for you to be hitting the bar (and LW) isn't it?

No lime thanks. And a long tall glass with a lot of ice please.

Shuts eyes.

"YES"

Leaps up and punches air.

2 Nil at half time.

Can I get another one of these please

Computer Foundations would drive a saint to drink.

The only time you would use a slice of cucumber, rather than olives, is if you make your martini with Hendricks gin. It's a mild gin with a distinctive flavor.

I'll just bring them two at a time, Faraway.

Sounds good to me.

Closes eyes again to pick up second half.

Quote

Originally posted by Semi Transparent Fellow:
The only time you would use a slice of cucumber, rather than olives, is if you make your martini with Hendricks gin. It's a mild gin with a distinctive flavor.

I've heard you mention this before, and I think I've actually had one of these before, but can't remember it's taste for the life of me. Maybe I'll order one sometime soon.

As for now, a Sapphire and tonic sounds great!

Sapphire and tonic it is. But don't turn your nose up at Beefeater. It's my choice for a g&t.

Hmph. Teacher's back. 'Later.

Beefeater is an excellent gin. I drank tangeray for a few years, but switched to sapphire about a year ago. I've had beefeater to and liked it a lot, so that'll probably be my next switch.

My current beer of choice is Harpoon IPA. I went from a long-time Harp kic, to a Newcastle kick last summer, to Bass Ale, to Longtrail and now Harpoon.

Heh! Arachne was goofing off in class.

I haven't been much of a beer drinker since I left Canada - over 20 years ago.

Anyone I know?

What did I tell you? Do I know my customers or what! Hi Miner.

Hi Semi.

You do indeed have your customers down. Can't say I mind being predictable, as long as beer is involved.

We always have beer for you Miner.

And I always have room for beer.

SHAKES and I complement each other perfectly.

Quote

Originally posted by Semi Transparent Fellow:
The only time you would use a slice of cucumber, rather than olives, is if you make your martini with Hendricks gin. It's a mild gin with a distinctive flavor.

I dined at an upscale restaurant once, where they flavored the ice water with cucumber. It was supposed to be fancy, but frankly tasted kind of gross.

Speaking of flavored beverages...

A watermelon margarita would hit the spot right about now.

Coming right up. With or without seeds.

Is there any way I could get an apple martini?

Certainly Minx. I'll make it with vodka and calvados (an apple brandy) and garnish with a bit of granny smith peel.

I'm tired from all that statue building! A deep glass of merlot and some Semi T. chat would soothe me.

A glass of merlot, but are you sure you wouldn't like one of those apple martinis?

Is there a Thursday Afternoon Special?

Lasher, YOU are the Thursday Afternoon Special! Your presence here does that.

What can I get for you?

At Shameless Hussies, sometimes it's Icey!

Welcome Lash! I think I'll have a manhatten Semi.

An apple martini, you say? Hmm, maybe as a chaser. *tee hee*

A double coming right up. Have a seat and strap your self in. Seat belts are provided.

One Manhattan coming up Cobie

Lord knows I need a stiff one... surprise me!

One stiff one coming up just for you Lasher!

<Biting my tongue> Double Kentucky bourbon, rocks. That sounds like a Lash drink. Stiff enough?

I love martinis. I like 'em dirty! With 3 big olives to nosh on!!!

Quote

Originally posted by Semi Transparent Fellow:
<Biting my tongue>

In the great tradition of Outdoor Miner - three Crazy Janes please, and heavy on the crazy!

3 crazy Janes, FC. I'm serving them in Wiggly Glasses.

Since I know FC shares my love for Morrison's Crazy Jane, I'd like 3 Crazy Janes as well.

When you think about it, it would be illogical to only order one Crazy Jane.

Semi - another three if you please! Still feeling the effect of that full moon...

Drink them by the dozens, I say!

But, be careful, alcohol is a depressant and I don't want you to end up a Negative Woman!

I better get an extra supply of Wiggly Glasses. Here's 3 Crazy Jane's

Two pints of Whitchapel Porter please. And a large glass of G & T thanks.

Des. Harpoon IPA is OK for a mass produced drink. When you get over here I'll take you to a decent pub and let you try the real ale IPA's

Just a warning patrons, this version of SHAKES will have to close in about 75 more posts. Never fear, though, the continuation of SHAKES will be up an running immediately.

Far, here's your porter, in two heavy crystal steins, and a gin and tonic (sapphire, right?).

Wow! After all this drinking, especially, the last three Crazy Janes, I need to visit the Head!

I am so easily amused by Doom Patrol references.

Quote

Originally posted by Semi Transparent Fellow:
Far, here's your porter, in two heavy crystal steins, and a gin and tonic (sapphire, right?).

Thanks Semi, Sapphire is the mothers ruin of choice ta!

Lift the stein and looks at the thick heavy dark beer, enjoying the smooth creamy head. Then opens mouth and empty's glass in one.

Ahhhhh! I needed that.

by the way, will the new shakes be at the same place. Are we up dating the decor?

Same place, drinks always shaken, never stirred. Don't fix what works (I made that up, you know.

)

Works for me.

I think I'll take this beer over to a comfy chair and indulge in a bit of people watching.

another one in about 5 mins Semi?

Close-out party tonight, fer sure!

I'll probably fall asleep soon, though. Could somebody carry me over to the new SHAKES?

Your hand will have a full one, before you have swallowed the last drop of the first stein.

I was this kid:

Are we there yet?

Oh, the magic of LW will make sure you don't get lost FC. This SHAKES with all its memories will still be there, just entitled, SHAKES Archives II.

Maybe I'll sing when the new place opens - to scare out any ghosts or such.

Okayyy! I don't think we'll have ghosts, but we'd love to hear you sing.

Remember to link to SHAKES I and SHAKES II at the start of the new thread

It's like closing down a part of yourself, are you taking OM stool, he would be very lonesome without it.

Can't OM clean up his own stool?

*tee hee*

Quote

Originally posted by Reboot:
Remember to link to SHAKES I and SHAKES II at the start of the new thread

Thanks Reboot, that is a great idea.

Will there be an announcement before you open the new place? Or will this place (thread) just close automatically?

I'm closing this version of SHAKES at 2500 posts. The reason is that there is an increased probablility of thread corruption and lost posts after that. The first SHAKES was allowed to grow uncontrollably and we started losing whole pages of threads at a time. Needless to say, my nobel prize winning work was on those pages.

The Progenitor ate your pages!

Mind if I watch Must See TV on your vidscreen, Semi?

You better hurry, Myriad, before they pack it for the move.

So soon? I'm still drinking my 5th appletini.

Quote

Originally posted by Semi Transparent Fellow:
Just a warning patrons, this version of SHAKES will have to close in about 75 more posts. Never fear, though, the continuation of SHAKES will be up an running immediately.

Ah, we've shut another one down.

Truly, SHAKES is the greatest stop on the LW map.

Hi Miner, the more you drink, the less I'll have to move, so drink up. Here's three more.

Always glad to help out in a pinch.

Three more "kegs", that is.

CHUG CHUG!

Quote

Originally posted by Semi Transparent Fellow:
Three more "kegs", that is.

Ah, a challenge.

Not much of one for you, I'd wager.

Just close your eyes, Semi, and poof, the kegs are empty.

Hey, who poofed my kegs?

(points to the bug and the stool)

Well , that's ok then. I bought them for Miner anyway.

Pizzaz, kegs ought only to be "poofed" through the process of consumption. Unless they "poofed" over to me.

Well, Ferro, I can set you up with your own keg. All you have to do is ask.

Well what if I pointed over there? (Cobalt's seat)

Sure, I'd love a keg, Semi!

And Pizzaz, if you point over there I'll assume you're offering me a seat.

Are we close yet?

Quote

Originally posted by Pizzazz:
Well what if I pointed over there? (Cobalt's seat)

I'd say that seat's reserved for my good friend, Cobie.

Thirty some odd posts to go.

48 more post, let's finish it tonight!

Is there anything that I can drink here that won't make me vomit.

Quote

Originally posted by Semi Transparent Fellow:
Thirty some odd posts to go.

Oh, you want thirty ODD posts, do you?

Happy to oblige.

So, um, what's the goal? I finally gave in and started posting here but I didn't feel up to reading the 164 pages prior to this one.

Quote

Originally posted by Semi Transparent Fellow:

Quote

Originally posted by Pizzazz:
[b]Well what if I pointed over there? (Cobalt's seat)

I'd say that seat's reserved for my good friend, Cobie.[/b]

Even if he purposefully drank Miner's kegs, without Miner's consent.

Won't ferroboy be surprised to learn that the 164 previous pages are only SHAKES v.2

We're getting ready to open v.3 and there's a v.1 out there too.

Pizzaz, I'm thinking you can only buy soda, selzter, or water. Of course, I used to sneak drinks to my ex when he was 20 and I was 22, but... Anyway, everything here is good for you so drink up!

OK, Myriad, that explains Semi's [closed] post about opening another SHAKES. I'll be sure to get in on that one from the start.

Just remember to drink a lot of booze and then run to the toilet.

I certainly wouldn't run to the toilet and then drink my booze. Unless I was on a tight schedule.

Quote

Originally posted by ferroboy:
So, um, what's the goal? I finally gave in and started posting here but I didn't feel up to reading the 164 pages prior to this one.

You don't have to read the 164 pages - you just come in, order something and join in.

Quote

Originally posted by Myriad:
I certainly wouldn't run to the toilet and then drink my booze. Unless I was on a tight schedule.

You crack me up!

Drink guys so I can open SHAKES 3 and sign off

OK, Semi, just set another keg next to my chair. After that last one, I think I need a bathroom break.

Strap him to the chair, I want to see iron burst.

Antoher keg, Ferro. You and Miner should really have a chug-lug-contest.

Hey, if I was able to piss out the second floor window in a dorm and in a church parking lot, I can piss in my mug and just drink straight from the keg.

Semi, I would if he were around. I sure do love my beer.

And Miner loves his. I just hope you don't think his is yours, and he yours is his. That could get ugly.

to the upcoming SHAKES 3!

Well, at least we would have another reason to open the mud-wreslting ring.

Well, I have been known to make these sorts of mistakes, but I'd be glad to finish off both and buy Miner another one.

Ferro and Gates should've been shown as bar buddies.

I agree, Myriad. Those two would have a great time together. Plus, I hear the drinking age in the 31st century is much lower than in the 20th century that Ferro left behind.

Oh, Lord, don't get Semi started on mud wrestling. It's one of his few bawdy fetishes.

(That I know of!)

Semi has a fetish? This is some juicy stuff.

Mud-wrestling? I guess you missed the whole thing about a steam room with naked men over in the Vudoo Lounge.

Let's throw him in the mud!

No mud now. We're closing soon.

This is the perfect time! We can get this place all muddy, close up, and open up a sparkling new SHAKES!

Agreed!

(throws mudball at ferroboy)

No mud. I'll have to invoke the Empress' cleaning spell.

Fine, muddy war it is!

(finishes off the next key and chucks a whole lotta mud Pizzaz's way)

Er, what? Empress who? So, see, it's ok. We mess things up and Empress cleans up!

No mud, but a mutt.

Semi invokes the cleaning spell. Unfortunately, it cleans Ferro's mask right off him.

Ok this is it, we're officially closed.