Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Mission Monitor Board The Electors of the Universe - Emergency Session

From time immemorial, we - who have fashioned ourselves the Electors of the Universe - have stood as the vanguard of the democratic process, guiding those lesser races through their societal birth pangs as they attempt to strike the balance between free will and chaos.

There are those who have deemed our methods totalitarian, even paradoxical, as we have imposed our unique brand of rigid order on the electoral processes of thousands of races across the galaxy. But, as a parent to a child, we have deemed these methods necessary to ensure that the growth and evolution continues. The ends have always justified the means.


Until now.


One of our number, the individual known as The Election Tyrant - set above the goverance of the elections of the planet, Legion World - has violated the universal protocol and, instead of merely administering an election, has accepted a role as a candidate. Unprecedented in our history, the Electors have called an emergency session to discuss what actions need to be taken.

Long ago, I transcended such worldly matters and, having come to the understanding that true free will requires no goverance at all, I renounced my own title and took a vow of silence. I am here merely as an observer.


I... am the Anarchon.





The Election Despot: This cannot be allowed to stand! The Tyrant has spat in the face of all that we stand for. I call for immediate expulsion from our ranks!

The Election Theocrat: No, no... that is only a material punishment. The Tyrant should be excommunicated!

The Election Emperor <with a yawn and a bored backhanded wave>: Execution.

The Benevolent Election Dictator: Friends, friends... these actions are too harsh... I say public censure.

The Election Oligarch <all speaking together>: And what does this mean to the revenue stream? The Legion World election has always brought in a lot of bread to our coffers.

The Election Monach <slightly confused>: Could you not just eat cake?

The Election Despot: Enough! Action must be taken. ...And what of you?


The Election Despot accusingly points toward me, knowing full well that he will get no guidance but, at the same time, offering token deference to my position of wisdom.

Almost imperceptively, I raise my eyebrow and - after a moment - the Despot's shoulders slightly relax. He lets out a quiet exhalation.


The Election Despot <spinning around>: It is decided... we take a vote!!!

It's good thing we hooked up a satellite feed to capture this and broadcast it into the ladies room in the lobby of LMB HQ!

<munches popcorn; waves hello at disturbed female washing her hands>

Child this cray.

The Electors will first need to decide what the threshold for 'victory' will be (50 +1, 2/3?) and then carefully consider the wording for each and every option on the ballot. Then there should be discussion as to whether it will be a preferential ballot, or First-Past-The Post. There's also enumeration to consider.

By the time this is sorted out, the Election Tyrant should be well on his way to a third term.

Memphis!

Oh, wait... wrong thread...

Emergency session? Isn't that what happens when an election lasts more than four hours?

Later...


With faint amusement, I observe as the Election Despot continues his tally. I well could have forseen the results, for - in spite of their authoritarian nature or, perhaps, because of it - each of the Electors has, for as long as there have been Electors, been the steadfast upholder of his own personal dogma.

I watch however, as the foregone conclusion is nevertheless reached.


The Election Despot <continuing to read the votes>: ...one vote for censure...
...one vote for impeachment...
...one vote for setting up an exploratory committee...

<pulls out the final vote>

...aaaaaaaand one vote for... ahem... "binding and ball-gagging, accompanied by light flogging".


The Election Sadist grins as the Despot shoots him a stern look.


The Election Despot: Which means... with 358 votes, with the Election Tyrant ineligible to vote in this matter, and The Anarchon in abstention... that we have...

<adding the tally>

... a 358 way tie.


The entire Electorate erupts into a loud murmur, as the Election Despot bangs his gavel.


The Election Despot: Gentlemen! Gentlemen! Order!!! I am assuming you, as senior Elector, do not wish to exercise your right to issue a deciding vote?


The Despot looks at me with near pleading in his eyes, but I maintain my stoicism.


The Election Despot <with a snort>: Fine. We vote again!





At this declaration, I rise to take my leave. I have seen enough and, as is my nature, I leave them to continue to exercise their free will. They will get there.

Eventually.


For the nonce, however, I have other, more pertinent, matters to attend to than hastening the evolution of my Electoral Brethren. As they continue their debate, it is clear to me that the time may have finally arrived to break my vows.

It is time that I visit Legion World.

<span style="font-size: 18px;">Blah blah blah.</span>

If your prose were any purpler, I'd suspect that the Welch's Corporation had bought us out while I was off taking a nap.

What next? Rob Liefeld showing up to draw publicity portraits of you clowns? Maybe on purple velvet?

I agree 200%!!

This is an outrage. Somebody declare military rule.

Support Our Troops !

mmmm hmmmm

I'll text that in from the G6.

If "true free will requires no governance at all", why are we voting.

And is it true that the Election Tyrant left his dog in a crate on top of his car when he went on vacation?

I think we need the intervention of the Anarchists of the Universe.

I vote 'no' against all three tickets!

It was a dark and stormy night when the Anarchon read cleome's posting; the rain fell in torrents — except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets, rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.

It's my worst nightmare - I'm trapped in literature class, freshmen year again!