Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Bits o' Legionnaire Business Moon-Knight script (Updated with all of what I've got)

I know this is a MARVEL character with absolutely nothing to do with anything LEGIONI related, so bear with me...

About 2 months ago my friend Jim was drawing "Moon Knight". He asked me to color it for him so I did, but asked for a bit more detail on the character (since I knew nothing about him, but the name Moon Knight). He gave me the characters real name & said the history was too convoluted to tell... So I told him I'd make something up. I researched Moon Knight & Marc Spectre on Google, and came up with about 2 pages of info (not a lot to go on) so this is what I wrote...

Hope you don't laugh.

Ultimate Moon Knight

Issue 1 - Page 1

Caption: Now.

1. Close up shot of pooling blood, dark reflection of something.
Caption: "My name was Marc Bushman..."

2. Pull back shot of a man's back, 2 dark black, wet bullet holes. Blood
under the body. The man is lying on his side. Blood also coming from his
right arm.
Caption: "I was a hit-man for the Bushman family in London. 'Course, with a
name like Bushman you'd think we were sodding Australians."
Caption 2: "Not us, we're an entirely different criminal element."

3. Shot from above, a man in Egyptian garb kneeling beside Marc, motioning
someone else over to help.
Caption: "Three days ago my arse of a father gave me this assignment... 'You
know you're my best Marcus, make me proud.'"
Caption 2: "Bullocks"

4. Front shot of Marc from the waste up, blank expression on his face, blood
trickling from his mouth.
Caption: "Only bloody thing Roald Bushman's ever been proud of is his mighty
empire."
Caption 2: "Oh no, he would shed one bloody tear over the death of his
'best'... his only son."

5. Close up of Marc's face, shadow of a hand over it.
Caption: "How ironic... the last thing I hear before I die...

6 - Close up of Marc's right eye, a tear welling up in it.
Caption: "...is the first sound I remember hearing in my pathetic life."

Ultimate Moon Knight

Issue 1 - Page 2

Caption: 27 years ago...

1. Small frame of a baby crying, gunshots going off in the background.
Sound: -KRACK-, -KRACK-
Caption: "gunshots"
Caption 2: "Yes, that's me, crying and soiling myself, cheeky little
bastard, wasn't I?"

2. Pull back a bit with a shadow looming over baby Marc. Two large, bulbous
hands entering the frame.
Roald Bushman: "There there lad, don't cry..."

3. ¾ page shot looking down on a large man in a business suit holding baby
Marc. Shadows of other men stretching out over the scene. The arms attached
to two dead bodies lie near the baby's bassinet.
Roald Bushman: "...Daddy will make sure those bad men won't hurt you.
Caption: "Funny, I always thought life passing before your eyes as you die
was crap..."

Ultimate Moon Knight

Issue 1 - Page 3

Caption: Now

1. Shot of the old Egyptian man from page one carrying Marc's limp body
through the streets of Cairo at dusk.
Caption: "God almighty that hurt..."

2. Up close shot of a 10 year old Marc being punched in the nose by a very
large fist.
Caption: 19 years ago...
Off frame burst: "YEEAAHHH!!! Go on, 'it 'em again!"

3. Young Marc wiping blood from his freshly broken nose , a very large boy
standing over him, fists clenched.
Bully: "Get up you bloody prat."
Caption: "I learned how to fight at a young age... the hard way."

4. Silhouetted shot of the bully kicking Marc in the stomach hard, tears
flying from Marc's eyes. Schoolyard jungle gym in the background kids all
around.
Marc: "Whuuff..."
Bully: "Oh look, the little bugger's crying, gonna run home to mummy little
boy?

5. Close up on Marc's right eye, look of extreme hatred in his eye.
Caption: "Don't quite know why that set me off like it did..."
Caption 2: "...Never new my mum. Just struck a nerve I suppose."

Ultimate Moon Knight

Issue 1 - Page 4

1. Full page shot of Marc leaping on the bully, the bully has a look of
surprise & fear on his face.
Marc: "RRRRAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!"

2. Small frame, bottom right on the page. Silhouetted shot of Marc taking
out the bully's right eye with his fingers.
Bully: "AAAGGGHHH... Get him offa me... AAAIIIEEE!!!"
Caption: "Needless to say, at the age of 10 my life became a bit more
complicated."

Ultimate Moon Knight

Issue 1 - Page 5

1. 10 year old Marc running from the fight scene, crying. The bully in the
background screaming in pain, other children in shock, standing around the
bully. One boy puking.
Caption : "To say I didn't play well with others would be an
understatement."
Caption 2: "I was so distraught, I ran home to 'Daddy'"

2. Shot of Marc running up the stairs of a mansion, tears streaming from his
eyes & blood from his broken nose.
Caption: "Daddy was always a pillar of strength... he would know what to
do."

3. Shot looking up from behind 10 year old Marc looking up at a very large
Roald Bushman, towering over the boy.

4. Shot looking down on Marc, mouth open explaining to Daddy what had
happened. The boys face covered in blood, sweat, tears & snot."
Caption: "Daddy was always there to listen when I needed him before..."

5. Close up shot of Daddy, scowling at Marc.
Caption: "This was not one of those times."

6. Close up of the right side of Marc's face, a look of horror in his eye. A
shadow descending over Marc's face.
Caption: "Daddy showed his true colours."

Ultimate Moon Knight

Issue 1 - Page 6

1. Full page shot of Marc being smacked across the face by his father. His
father looks monstrous.
Caption: "Daddy screamed at me that day - 'NEVER CRY, NEVER SHOW
WEAKNESS!!!'"
Caption 2: "I HAD WON THE FIGHT, TO CRY WAS TO SHOW WEAKNESS!!!"

2. Small frame, bottom right side. Marc sitting on the ground, rubbing his
face, anger brewing in his eyes. More blood trickling from his face.
Caption: "... Bastard."

Ultimate Moon Knight

Issue 1 - Page 7

Caption: Now

1. Two Egyptian men lifting Marc into the bed of a truck. The original
old Egyptian man motioning them to hurry.

2. Marc lying face up in the truck bed, an Egyptian man putting pressure on
the gunshot wounds in Marc's chest.

3. Side shot of the old Egyptian man, looking upwards, chanting a prayer in
Egyptian, full moon rising in the background.

4. Close up of Marc's face, tear streaming from his eye.
Caption: "first time I've cried since that day... what would Daddy say?"

Ultimate Moon Knight

Issue 1 - Page 8

Caption: 11 years ago...

1. An 18 year old Marc, wearing sunglasses crouched down on a rooftop,
clutching a long range sniper rifle with a silencer. Another man sitting
next to him.
Caption: "My first hit..."

2. A man in a business suit sitting on a park bench.
Caption: "a British bloke, nicked a few Quid from Daddy."

3. Man kneeling next to Marc with his hand on Marc's shoulder.
Caption: "Jean-Paul DuChamp taught me everything I knew about being a
shooter. Good man..."
Caption 2: "...for a cold blooded killer, of course."

4. Marc taking aim at his hit.
Caption: "It should have been so bloody easy. Aim for the head, squeeze the
trigger, the mark goes down..."

5. Close up on the trigger being pulled
-THWIP-

Ultimate Moon Knight

Issue 1 - Page 9

1. Shot from above, the crowd surrounding Marc's target not noticing the man
on the bench. The man stares down at the blood on his chest, gasping for
breath. Marc sitting behind the lip of the roof holding his gun. Jean-Paul
DuChamp, patting Marc on the back.
Victim: "..."
Caption: "But I missed."
Caption 2: "Instead of going quick, the poor sod died slowly on an operating
table somewhere"
Caption 3. "Jean-Paul just patted me on the back and said 'chalk it up to a
learning experience my friend'"
Caption 4: "I never missed again..."

Ultimate Moon Knight

Issue 1 - Page 10

Caption: Now

1. Truck driving through the desert, full moon above.
Caption: "Is this what that poor bastard felt like? Lying in a pool of your
own blood & filth knowing your next breath will probably be the last?"

2. Truck pulls up before a small ancient Egyptian temple. Tents & torches
surround the temple.

3. Men, women & children rush towards the truck.

4. The three men from the truck lift Marc from the truck bed.

5. Marc is set down on a pedestal , a woman standing behind the pedestal
with a very sharp knife & a metal bowl.

6. Close up of a gunshot wound in Marc's chest with the woman digging the
knife into his flesh.
Caption: "I swore I'd never miss again... and I didn't..."

7. Close up of Marc's right eye, open wide with pain as the bullet hit's the
metal bowl.
-KLINK-
Caption: "...until today."

Ultimate Moon Knight

Issue 1 - Page 11

Caption: 4 hours ago

1. Marc walking through the streets of Cairo earlier that same day. Brief
case in one hand, jacket in the other, sunglasses on.

2. An old Egyptian man notices Marc (the same old man that has been helping
him).

3. Egyptian man begins to follow Marc, a look of shock on the old man's
face.

4. The Egyptian man catches up to Marc and is reaching for his shoulder.

5. Egyptian man taps Marc on the shoulder.

Ultimate Moon Knight

Issue 1 - Page 12

1. Marc holding a small pistol to the old Egyptian mans forehead.
Marc: "Can I help you old man?"

2. The man stares Marc in the face, unaffected by the weapon and speaks in
Egyptian. Marc is removing his sunglasses. The man is speaking in Egyptian.
Old Man: <James? No, you cannot be James, you are too young>
Marc: "I don't know what you're selling old man, but piss off before I...
Old Man: "Marcus?"

3. Marc lowers his weapon, a look of confusion on his face.
Old man: <is that you little Marcus?>
Marc: "How do you know my name?"
Old man: <it must be you, I would recognize you anywhere>
Marc: "I can't understand you..."

4. The man reaches for Marcs hand.
Old man: <Come, you must come with me...>

5. Marc quickly raised his gun to the old man's head again.
Marc: "Don't touch me!!! Sod off old man."

6. The man backs away into the shadows.
Caption: "What the bloody hell was that all about...?"

Ultimate Moon Knight

Issue 1 - Page 13

Caption: Now

1. The same old man kneeling before Marc. Marc is still on the pedestal, but
his wounds are wrapped in bloody bandages. View is looking at the old man
kneeling behind Marc.

2. Opposite view, looking from behind the old man towards Marc, a statue of
an Egyptian Goddess facing Marc. The goddess holds a scepter in one hand,
the top of the scepter is a crescent moon with a hawk perched on top.
Chanting: <Khonshu... Khonshu...>
Old man: <please Khonshu, your grace, please let the boy live...>

3. Marc stands on top of an old adobe style building, holding his sniper
rifle at the ready.
Caption: 90 minutes ago.
Caption 2: "David Alraune was his name."
Caption 3: "One bullet to the brain... simple."

4. View through the gun's scope at a British man in traditional Egyptian
robes (looking very out of place). The man has body guards surrounding him.
Caption: "Don't know what you did to Daddy, and frankly, I don't give a
damn..."

5. Close up of Marc's finger tightening on the trigger.
Caption: "I get paid either way..."

6. Same shot, finger relaxing off the trigger.
Marc (whisper): "what the..."

7. Through the scope a young, beautiful woman with dark brown hair stepped
between he and David Alraune.
Caption: "I saw her... and my life went to piss quickly."

Ultimate Moon Knight

Issue 1 - Page 14

1. View from ground level looking up at Marc, the light of the setting sun
reflecting off his gun scope. Alraune's daughter pointing up towards Marc. A
body guard rushing in front of Alraune.
Marc: "Bloody Hell..."

2. Same angle, Marc gets off a single shot taking down the body guard. Other
guards are already holding their guns.
-KRACK-

3. Guns raised skyward firing at Marc.
-POP-, -POP-, -POP-

4. Old Egyptian man watching from a distance, horrified.

Ultimate Moon Knight

Issue 1 - Page 15

1. Marc being hit three times, twice in the chest, once in the arm.

2. Marc staggers forward.

3. Falls off the building.

4. Hit's a covered street vendor's tent.

5. Hit's the ground.
Caption: "God"

Ultimate Moon Knight

Issue 1 - Page 16

Caption: Now

1. Full page of Marc being mystically raised off the dais, full moon in the
background onto the statue of the Goddess Khonshu. White electric energy
pulsates through the statues scepter into Marcs body.

2. Small frame, the old Egyptian man stares in awe at the scene before him.
Old Man: <Khonshu...>

Ultimate Moon Knight

Issue 1 - Page 17

Caption: 80 minutes ago

1. One of Alraune's body guard standing above Marc pointing his gun at
Marc's head.
Alraune (off panel): "Wait!!!"

2. Alraune looking down at Marc.
Alraune: "Bugger me... that's Bushman's bastard."
Alraune 2: "leave him here to bleed to death, it's better than he deserves."

3. Same shot, fading to black.

4. Fade in to see the old Egyptian man staring down at him.
Old Egyptian man: <stay with us Spector>

Ultimate Moon Knight

Issue 1 - Page 18

Caption: now


1. Electrified Marc, focused on his face, electricity surging through his
right eye.
Caption: "I remember..."

2. Vision of a woman holding a baby, view is from the baby's eyes, looking
upward at the woman. She has dark hair and blue eyes.
Caption: 27 years ago
Caption 2: "...Mother...?"

3. Same shot, a man standing over the woman's left shoulder. The man looks
exactly the same as Marc, just a few years older and with glasses.
Caption: "...who...?"
Caption 2: "...father?..."
Caption 3: "...but it can't be..."

4. Vision of being place back into his bassinet, both hi mother and father
looking away to the left.

5. Same angle, the old Egyptian man (27 years younger, but definitely the
same man) explaining something to mother and father. He is terrified. Baby
Marc's arms outstretched towards his mother.

6. Same angle his mother is shot in the forehead. Father and the Egyptian
man are horrified.
Caption: "...no, please, I've never seen her before... don't take her away
again."

Ultimate Moon Knight

Issue 1 - Page 19

1. Father is struggling with a large silhouetted man.
Caption: "...no, please stop..."

2. Large man shoots father in the head.
Caption: "... please, don't..."

3. Same view, baby's arms are outstretched again, but are now splattered
with his parents blood.
Caption: "please, help them, don't let them die..."

4. Same view a large shadowed man standing above the bassinet.
Roald Bushman: "There there lad, don't cry..."

Ultimate Moon Knight

Issue 1 - Page 20

1. Full page shot of Roald Bushman holding baby Marc, same shot as page 2,
just bigger with the bodies of Marc's real parents dead beside the bassinet.
Roald Bushman: "Daddy will make sure those bad men won't hurt you."
Laughter from the men behind in the shadows.
Caption: "...no..."

Ultimate Moon Knight

Issue 1 - Page 21

Caption: Elsewhere

1. View from behind of Marc standing before the Goddess Khonshu, he is an
adult again. Naked, with smoke placed before his exposed parts.
Khonshu: "I am Khonshu, Egyptian Goddess of the moon... Marcus Allan
Spector, you will die tonight. However, I have an offer for you. I will
grant you the opportunity to make right the things that have befallen you...
but, when the time comes, you will heed my call and do my bidding. You,
Marcus Allan Spector, will rise as my knight of vengeance. You will be heed
my rule until I release you. If you refuse, you will die upon my altar as a
sacrifice in my name and I will seek another."

2. Side shot of Marc looking into the Goddesses eyes. Tears of anger
streaming down his face.
Marc: "in my death I have found that my entire life has been a lie. For the
chance to take vengeance for myself, I will gladly accept your offer."
Khonshu: "very well... step forward and kneel."

3. Mark steps forward & takes a knee.

4. Khonshu places her hand over Marcs right eye. Smoke coming from her palm.

5. The scepter in her hand radiates energy.
Caption: "My name was Marcus Bushman..."

6. Khonshu places her scepter on Marc's shoulder.
Caption: "I was a hit man."

6. Close up of Marc's face, a crescent moon cuts through his right eye.
Caption 2: "this night, the night I died. I was reborn... Marcus Spector...
"

Ultimate Moon Knight

Issue 1 - Page 22

1. Full page shot of Marc in full Moon Knight Costume, eyes glowing red.
Flames & smoke surrounding him, hand outstretched into the night sky. The
statue of Khonshu behind him & the full moon high above.
Marc: "THE MOON'S KNIGHT OF VENGEANCE!!!"
Caption: "and Daddy, there's going to be Hell to pay."

Moon Knight was one of my favorites during the Seinkevicz/ Meonch days, so I have no problem with Marc's presence here on Legion World. I'll post a response to your script once I get a chance to go through it!

Great first issue LanternLad!! Loved the updating - from the use of the Alraunes and Bushman in his origin, but making it much more personal this time and also more mysterious since we don't know why Bushman took Marc as his son and what the story was with his parents and the Egyptian guy. Nice to see Frenchie there too and making them real villains (from what we've seen so far). We have yet to see anything really "heroic" from Marc (or even admirable), but the childhood scenes make us sympathetic. I would think this rebirth is the beginning of Marc's redemption as it was in the original tale, but this Marc is darker and has a longer way to go to actually being a hero (if he even ever gets there). I like that this deal with Konshu might be a deal with an angel or a devil - we don't know yet.

What made you want to write a story featuring a character you barely know anyhow? And for what it's worth, from reading this I'd have thought you were a fan considering how you captured so much of the themes of the original origin - well done!

I have no idea about Moon Knight at all but I thoroughly enjoyed that anyway LL. You've obviously taken a bit of time to work out the frames and the positioning within them - great job!

Any more for us?

Thanks for the praise!!!

Drake, I actually did it because my friend drew a picture of the character & I liked the way it looked. I've never read an issue, just a brief tidbit I googled. My friend said he was a hitman or something & I took it from there. How did I do with the British accent & slang? That was my first time with that as well. I can speak with the accent, So I figured I'd roll with it to make it interesting. I asked my artist friend if he would be interested in drawing an issue or two just to show Marvel. Then we found out that Marvel is starting abig Moon Knight push... so my friend went on to other things. Bummer, huh?

Harbinger: Thank you! I do have a bit more, I had a plan (big convoluted plan... you have read my GL, you know I can convolute things quite well), but my artist friend decided he wanted to work on his own book in time for Comic-Con next Summer. So I'll keep typing out what I have. I'll post the rest of it tonight.

Here it is, what I have of Part 2 so far.

IT IS INCREDIBLY ROUGH & WAS WRITTEN IN A 4 HOUR PERIOD... so please be kind. You can see that there is a lot of work needing to be done, but you'll see some of where I am heading.

Ultimate Moon Knight

Issue 2 - Page 1

1. Close up on Marc's face (focus mostly on eyes, mouth & tip of nose
are off frame), he is looking down, blue skies behind him.
Caption: 2 days later, 30 miles outside Cairo

2. Distance shot of the temple of Khonshu. Marc's back to the reader,
the old Egyptian maan standing beside him. Marc is wearing a brown
trench-coat. Two make-shift wooden crosses in the ground at his feet.
Caption: "Funny how life can really @%$# with your head sometimes"

3. Focus on the 2 crude crosses standing beside each other. The name
James Spector on one, Mary Spector on the other.
Caption: "Father, Mother... pleased to meet you"
Caption 2: "I know you probably planned on me attending Oxford, or
something..."

4. Close up on Marc's right eye, tear welling up.
Caption: "Decided contract killing was more my speed, hope you
understand."

5. Marc, eyes shut, holding the bridge of his nose, the old man's hand
on Marc's shoulder.
Caption: "That's really not working for me now either..."
Caption 2: "Trying my hand at the whole 'Avenging Anti-Hero' thing..."
Caption 3: "I'm hoping that'll work a little better..."

Ultimate Moon Knight

Issue 2 - Page 2

1. small, long panel at the top of the page, Moon Knight hopping from
roof-top to roof-top.

2. Large panel, Roald Bushman's office from above. Roald sits behind
his desk. In a chair, before the desk, sits Jean Paul DuChamp. A bodyguard
stands at the rooms door, only his legs should be visible. Roald's face is
in shadow, a letter with accompanying pictures sits on the desk before him.

Caption: The office of Roald Bushman, London England.
Caption 2 (handwritten letter): "Dearest Rolly, ran into your boy Marc in
Cairo on Monday. Nice chap. Got it into his head to try and kill me... so my
boys returned the favor."
Caption 3 (handwritten letter): "Please enjoy the pictures! See you REAL
soon. David A.
Caption 4 (handwritten letter): "P.S. Next time you try and kill me you
prick, at least send someone with a little skill, unlike your little
bastard. Cheers!"

Ultimate Moon Knight

Issue 2 - Page 3

1. small, long panel at the top of the page, Moon Knight hopping from
roof-top to roof-top.

2. Roald looking down at a polaroid in his hand, mouth open, teeth
bared.
RB - "God damn it."

2. Shot of Jean-Paul, concern on his face.
JPD - "Sir, I am so sorry about your loss..."

3. Roald standing, chair pushed back behind him, spittle shooting from
his mouth.
RB - "SHUT THE @$%! UP, FROG! I DON'T GIVE A GOD DAMN ABOUT THAT
BOY."
RB - "Piece of $#!^ just proved he was useless... should have sent
you."

4. Jean-Paul, shifting uncomfortably in his chair, look of shock on his
face, cigarette dangling from his bottom lip.
JP - "uh, yes sir... thank you, sir?"
Caption (JP): "Arse hole... not one tear."

5. Roald sitting once again, head resting in his hands, elbows on his
desk.
RB - "Listen, Frenchie, I want you in Egypt tomorrow... I want the
job finished by tomorrow night, or I'll send you to meet your pal Marc, is
that understood?"
JP - "Yes sir, I'll bring your sons body home for a proper burial
sir."

6. Same shot of Roald, this time he is looking at Jean Paul, anger in
his eyes, finger pointed at JP.
RB - "You will leave that little bastard there to rot, go near him & you
might as well lay down next to him, understood?"
JP - "Understood sir."

Ultimate Moon Knight

Issue 2 - Page 4

1. Small, long panel at the top of the page, Moon Knight hopping from
roof-top to roof-top.

2. Marc in the Moon Knight costume (mask-less) sitting across from the old
man. Marcs eyes are in shadow.
Caption: Temple of Khonshu...
MS - "<What the bloody hell are you talking about old man? I'm no sodding
American...>"
OEM - "<No? Your parents were American archeologists, so by blood, you are.
New York. However, you were born here, in Cairo, so, by nationality, you are
Egyptian.>"
Caption (MS): "So, to recap... I'm not who I thought I was."
Caption 2 (MS): "I'm an Egyptian New Yorker with a British accent."
Caption 3 (MS): "And I can now speak & understand Egyptian fluently."
Caption 4 (MS): "There isn't enough money in the world to pay for the
therapy I need."

3. close up of the old man's face that fades into a scene 30 years into
the past. The old man (30 years younger, of course) stands on an airfield
shaking hands with Marc's father. Marc's pregnant mother, standing behind
wearing a sun-dress & hat.
OEM: "<Your parents came to Egypt 30 years ago to excavate this very temple
for the Metropolitan Museum in New York City. I was one of their guides.

I really like this LanternLad. I like how you describe each panel too. I used to be a huge Moon Knight fan, very nice to see some other people remember him.

I don't know if you found this out in your research, but he was more a merc rather than an assassin, but I like the switch. The English accent seemed ok to me (I grew up in The Bronx, what do I know?). That's also an interesting change from the Marvel U MK.

I'll have more to say when I read your last installment...

I'm really liking how this new (to the mythos) character, the old Egyptian, has played so far. I hope we'll learn more about him. And Bushman's reaction to Marc's death was a nice way to create even more tension betwen the two - it says a lot about their relationship. I can't help but wonder if Marc and Frenchie are going to remain friends this time around or if they might be enemies...?

The plan for the future is ALL about revenge. Frenchie is being designed to become an instrument in that revenge. He will be the man on the inside for Marc... until his untimely... Wait. I can't give too much away yet, can I?

The old Egyptian is Marc's only link to his past. Almost a surrogate father figure. That's the current plan at least... When writing, you never know where the characters will take you.

Hey Scott, have you written any more for us yet? I've just re-read this and can't wait to see where you take Marc Spector (and us) from here!

More, more, more!!!

You know what... I was sitting in my office bored out of my mind today wanting to write something, but I had no idea what. Time to re-visit Marc, isn't it?

I'll second that! ... how's the next installment coming?

It's coming... I have it in my computer at work... My partner is on vacation next week, so I should have plenty of slack-off time to get it rolling.