Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Mission Monitor Board Tamper's Secure Undisclosed Location

Returns from convention hall. Really fellas I don't see what so interesting on the one channel of Evil Genius TV we get out here. It's economic development strategy night on that station. If I'd known you guys liked Michael Porter so much I'd a bought a set of his books for you guys.


<Grabs mysterious ray from locker. Returns to convention by teleportation>

Incidentally, what with all the talk about peanut butter, I would just like to take a second to plug the new Jif low-carb! It really is super-scrumptious!

<returns from convention

walks around the guys who've been put to sleep by the Porter marathon on TV.

//success is often dictated not by//

mercifully switches to the Abin Quank tracking channel. Prepares the Britishizer for its next target>

<<Open's one eye, and while Tamper's back is turn, converts the Britishizer into a bizarro Britishizer. Instead of affecting the person targeted, it affects the one using it and Americanizes them if they are Britishized already.>>

That darned eye, converting the Britishizer to the Bizarro Britishizer, good thing magic doesn't work at the Secure undisclosed location.

It wouldn't be very secure otherwise would it now, Compy. Compy register the title of Physicus Maximus and the related mumbo jumbo at the repository of knowledge. I need to get more Scotch.

Compy: beeeeeeeeeeeeeeep beeeeeeeeeeeeeeep beeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

.... emergency declared...
.... initiating recovery,
.... Tamper Lad recovered.


Thanks Compy looks like I'll have to give up my quest to transform Abin into a serving of mushy peas. Cali's not gonna be pleased when I tell her.

I won't be pleased about what? Oh no... don't tell me... you want children, don't you? Evil minions to carry out your dastardly plans.

Well, I'll say it again. I support said plans but NO PREGNANCIES!!!!

Oh no babies, hon. Just that Pagan Lass destroyed my Britishizer ray before I could turn Abin into a serving of Mushy peas.

But I got Space Ranger on page 27 of the constitution thread.

Ahh. Well, truthfully, I think Abin's okay. Really. And I think Pagan Lass will eat you if you try to hurt him so maybe we'll just... not.

Saw Ranger finally!! Yay. I'm so proud.

If i may be of any help to you both in your time of need, please, let me know...

Ah LAM, please could you go apologize to Pagan Lass for me. It would not be wise for me to go see her personally.

Dern it the Space Ranger has re-appeared.

Oh no....and I really thought you liked me, Tamper Lad

<Downs his last glass of scotch as the sun rises over the SUDL. Eyes bloodshot, uniform still covered in acid from the battle with the mystic fates he says,>

Compy: [you are emotionally unhinged Tamper]

Nonsense, and I thought I reset your configuration to synthesise a male voice? Bah, rassafrakin technology. And how could there be any emotional attachment, I was in it just for her physical assets?

Compy: [Your heavy drinking and irrational commands, in the past 2 hours indicates the lack of veracity in this statement. Caliente...]

ARGHHHHH!!!! Compy we will never again discuss this past evening's events or mention that name again. She is once again with *snerk* Actor Lad. I WOULD HAVE GIVEN HER A WORLD TO RULE!!!

Compy: [Ahem...]

I WOULD HAVE GIVEN HER HALF A WORLD...

Compy: [Ahem...]

Oh alright, technically I would have given her 32.5% of the world as per the Evil Genius Pre-nuptial act of 2958. But that's not the point Compy, I'm FREEEEEE!!!! BWAHAHAHA.

Compy: [Unfortunately, this status is temporary. Without her you no longer have access to the unlimited funds in her super-hero student bank account.]

*sigh* Can't you let me rant in peace, you stupid computer. Alright, implement Project Revenue. I will announce it later this morning at the Constitutional Convention.

<What is project revenue, find out when the LMB Constitutional convention resumes.>


Well that went well, I see the monies are already rolling in.

Jeez bud, I know it's rough. I recently seperated from my wife, Space Tart. Things weren't always honest or great, but it was still hard.

I wouldn't count you and Cali out yet...

Tamperous, leave that Cali be, she's a good girl now, she doesn't need your awful manners rubbing off on her.

I heard (from a reliable source)that Cobie loved to dress up in Space Tart's clothes...

TL, I'm risking Ragnarok by telling Pagan Lass that Abin had gone "all-Pinky-and-the-Brain" and wanted to "kill the bastich thread" again and that i had to slip the strait-jacket back on again...

A bit of dominance and discipline might just be the thing to put the spice back in that relationship...

Then I have determined that your imagination is unreliable.

DERN IT!!! HOW DO ALL OF YOU GET INTO THE SECURE UNDISCLOSED LOCATION

We followed the searchlights to the big neon sign saying "SECURE UNDISCLOSED LOCATION".

I'd take another look at your security system if I was you.

Compy, you rassafrakin' computer I said no to turning the SUDL into a den of inpropriety. I don't want to take business from Cobalt Kid.

Yeah, I'm with the disappearing bug guy. It's not the best way to keep things hidden.

So. Tamper. *sits down and makes herself comfy* What's up?

Oh, be serious.

It's not like he'd actually get around to paying you.