Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Mission Monitor Board Fare thee well...

I am getting better. I am looking at this as a phase of our relationship, rather than the end.

I had my first day of therapy yesterday for my anxiety issues. It went well, and already seems to have helped.

Now I need to find a job. I was a stay-at-home dad, so I went out and got a job at Target. It is minimum wage and likely seasonal, but it should keep me from starving. So, I am incessantly looking for something better, but it's tough.

Thanks to everyone for being so supportive. You have no idea how much your comments mean to me. If I ever get really rich, everyone who has posted on this thread is getting an invite to a really boffo party.

Lance,

I am so glad things are looking better for you.

Lance, I am impressed by how you are expressing yourself. Even in these difficult circumstances, you are speaking (OK, typing) clearly, calmly, fairly, and with perspective. That is a strength*.

*Remember that in your employment search!

Congrats on the job! I could live at Target.

lancesrealm fans: Be sure to check out his groovy Yolanda and the Dragon story over in the Bits forum!

Hey, thanks for the plug, Eryk! I have been doing a lot of writing lately, both stories and journaling. I don't know why I didn't do more of it earlier.

[waves]

lance, glad to see that you're hanging in there.

I got a better job today - working at the call center for Convergys. It is a nice big company, so I should be able to work my way up the ranks there. So, I won't be working at Target after all.

I am coping. Thanks again to everyone for ebing so wonderfully supportive.

Congratulations lancesrealm!!! That's pretty nice, and now you can keep busy.

I finally got internet today! Yay! So I guess I should change the title of this thread, haha!

And...I am doing ok. I got an apartment 2.5 weeks ago and I like my new job. It is challenging and even fun. It also keeps my mind occupied, which is good.

And I am going to be ok. The therapy I am in has been quite beneficial. It has helped me realize some things.

My wife might file for divorce; I don't know. But...it wouldn't change who I am. I would grieve for the loss of my marriage if it happens, but I know now I can cope. It wouldn't make me a worse person, whatever that is. And it wouldn't mean my life is over. It also wouldn't mean that there aren't a hundred other good things that are going to happen to me throughout my life.

I suppose I might tell you guys the whole story, if anyone wants to hear it. It is sad and foolish and there are even some funny parts - especially the part about where I was living before I got the apartment. That place was also sad and foolish, btw.

Thanks again to all who have been so supportive. If any of you get near Cincinnati, let me know. I would love to meet some of you. Especially the attractive females, haha.

I have been working on self-improvement, if you can believe that. I have been working out at the YMCA and running and trying to improve myself physically. I have gotten involved with a church and am even reading the Bible, trying to improve myself spiritually. I am going to work hard at my job and try to improve myself occupationally and financially. I still need some more social activities, but I'll find them. And I'll keep getting better.

Take care gang,

Lance

Lance, good to know things are picking up for you. whichever road gets taken, you've got friends.

Alas, even in a wig and stiletto pumps, I would not make an attractive female.

I am glad that things are looking up for you Lance. And glad you are still here on Legion World.

If you want to tell me your story, feel free to PM it to me.

Good to hear things are looking better for you in some ways.

Feel free to tell me the story...do you still have my e-mail?

I'll tell it in public if I tell it.

Glad to hear things are looking up Lance and you've had some clarity on where the road may take you from here.

Working on self-improvement is always a good thing, no matter what else happens!

Awesome to hear that you're in a better place, Lance. It's great to know that you're really taking this opportunity to enhance some of the other areas of your life.

Keep your chin up, brother.

Glad you've turned a corner, Lance. Best wishes.

It's good to "hear" your hopeful and healthy insights, Lance. There is much joy for you ahead.

Dude!

I said I would tell about the place I was living before I got the apartment, so here is:

"The Story of the Mobile Home"

or possibly:

"How Can People Live Like This?"

Immediately after the separation, I was living in cheap hotels. Cheap is a relative term, and it was still too expensive. So, I needed a cheap place to stay (short-term) while I looked for an apartment. I found an ad on craigslist for a room in a mobile home. I went and checked the place out, and decided it was ok. The rent was only $350 per month, plus a $200 deposit. I didn't have to pay for electricity or water or heat or anything. Ok, fine, I moved in. It didn't seem so bad at first. They had several dogs and a few cats, but the place seemed clean and I thought it would be fine for a month or so.

So, the very small room I was in had a twin mattress on the floor, and that was about it. The place didn't have cable or anything to do really, but that was ok, because I was looking for a job and an apartment and I didn't have time for much of anything else. The man and woman who lived there both seemed nice, and they even invited me for meals (which were free, and the woman was a very good cook.) They were both around 40, I would guess. The seemed like real rednecks, but that's ok because I grew up surrounded by rednecks. I did find out later that the guy had been a Sequel Server DBA, which really surprised me. Neither of them had jobs though. Then, one day...

The weather turned cold. That was when I found out there was something wrong with the furnace. They typically set the thermostat at 60 degrees, but I think the temperature was more like 50. I had to sleep fully clothed in a sleeping bag on the small mattress with blankets over me and I was still cold.

Also, the animals. There was a faint animal smell (to be expected with so many animals, I suppose) but it seemed to keep getting worse. Maybe I was getting more sensitive to it. How many animals were there? They had 4 or 5 dogs, and 2 or 3 cats. Maybe 4 cats. I am not sure; the numbers seemed to change. Then it got worse. Once the couple put up the Christmas tree at least one of the dogs thought that was a good place to pee. The smell seemed to get worse, and I had to be careful where I stepped. Still with me? It gets even worse. One night, there was a dogfight in the living room. I was in my room reading, so I never saw it. Still, I found out later one of the dogs had gotten injured, and I never saw that dog again. I don't know what happened to it, and I never asked. People, lemme tell you, when there is a dogfight in the living room it is time to move somewhere else. That oughta be on the cover of the renter's guide.

Things are never so bad, though, that they can't get worse. Typically, the couple who lived there would go out in the evening and not come back until the wee hours. I don't know where they went (to a bar I think) and I never asked. This meant that at least one or both of them was drunk when they got in. One night (ok, technically morning) they started arguing. This was a loud, screaming-at-each other argument. It started around 2am and since I had to be up at 5am to get ready for work, I didn't appreciate it one bit. About a week later (a few days before I moved out) they had another argument. Loud, and screaming, and hurling insults. This argument started around 2am, and they were still going at it when I left for work at 6am. Needless to say, I didn't get much sleep. This argument seemed to be about who could hurt each other the most. Still, there were moments that almost made me smile. Here are some actual lines from the argument:

spoken (yelled) by woman - "I gave up so much for you! I gave up my boyfriends and my best dog and my lesbian girlfriends for you!"

spoken by man - "I was so faithful to my first wife! At least up until the last year!" (Perhaps that was why it was the last year?)

spoken by woman, who actually owned the mobile home - "I'm moving back to Florida tomorrow! And I'll leave the mobile home to Lance! You don't deserve it!" (Too bad she didn't actually do it - I could have used a mobile home.)

I even asked asked the guy the next day if I owned the mobile home. He gave a sad laugh and said something like, "No, not yet anyway." The couple said frequently that I was the best roommate they had had, but that was just because I didn't steal anything from them.

Sooo...I found an apartment the next day and signed a lease. It was on a Wednesday and I figured I would pack and move in a day or two, or maybe over the weekend. So, that night I got back to the mobile home about 8pm. It had been quite awhile since lunch and I was really hungry. As I walked through the living room I stepped around a very wet spot on the carpet which I knew was dog pee. As I was making a couple of sandwiches, one of the dogs trotted into the kitchen and started pooping on the kitchen floor about 5 feet from me. I decided that was enough, and I moved out that night. (By the way, one of my passwords where I work is Ihatedogpee!)

So...now I am in an apartment, and I don't have to step around any more animal fluid. I never did get my $200 deposit back, by the way. I suppose I could take them to small claims court, but since I didn't sign anything, I don't know if I have a case. I guess I could threaten to do it, and see if they cough up the money. (I do call them occasionally, and see if they have it. Hopefully they feel at least a little bit guilty about it?) Since neither of them worked, I have no idea how they survive. Maybe by taking in suckers like me.

So, while there are parts of my life that I am very unhappy with right now...I know I have a lot to be thankful for. I am so glad I don't have to live like that. I am so glad my wife and I never screamed at each other like that. I am glad the heat works. Mostly, though, I am glad I don't have a dog.

Hey Lance,

Sounds perfectly wonderful. This is the "Lies, All Lies" thread, right?

I looked up the Ohio statutes on security deposits. It is very similar to Massachusetts. Bascially, the landlord has 30 days to return it to you. If they don't, you take them to court and (if I am reading it correctly) you would get the money back, plus damages in the amount of the money owed you plus reasonable attorneys fees. You probably could take them to small claims court after the 30 days is up, but you'll have to figure if it is worth your while.

I'll copy the actual statute below. One thing you would have to do is to provide them in writing with your forwarding address. (if you don't do that, you don't get the damages) And when you write to them, you can mention the statute "Ohio Revised Code Title 53 Chapter 5321.16" and that if they don't pay you, they could be liable for the security deposit and damages.

5321.16 Procedures for security deposits.


(A) Any security deposit in excess of fifty dollars or one month’s periodic rent, whichever is greater, shall bear interest on the excess at the rate of five per cent per annum if the tenant remains in possession of the premises for six months or more, and shall be computed and paid annually by the landlord to the tenant.

(B) Upon termination of the rental agreement any property or money held by the landlord as a security deposit may be applied to the payment of past due rent and to the payment of the amount of damages that the landlord has suffered by reason of the tenant’s noncompliance with section 5321.05 of the Revised Code or the rental agreement. Any deduction from the security deposit shall be itemized and identified by the landlord in a written notice delivered to the tenant together with the amount due, within thirty days after termination of the rental agreement and delivery of possession. The tenant shall provide the landlord in writing with a forwarding address or new address to which the written notice and amount due from the landlord may be sent. If the tenant fails to provide the landlord with the forwarding or new address as required, the tenant shall not be entitled to damages or attorneys fees under division (C) of this section.

(C) If the landlord fails to comply with division (B) of this section, the tenant may recover the property and money due him, together with damages in an amount equal to the amount wrongfully withheld, and reasonable attorneys fees.

Effective Date: 11-04-1974

Thanks for the ammo, Quis! And sad to say...The above was a work of nonfiction.

Oh, um, Quis..I live in Kentucky, not Ohio. I am only a few miles from Cincinnati, but...wrong state...sorry.

Don't take this the wrong way, Lance, but I really enjoyed reading about your mobile home misadventures. You could very well be the Charles Dickens for a new generation.

Also, your story confirms my theory that craigslist is actually a portal to hell.

Glad you got out.