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0 Legionnaires (),
75
Murran Spies, and
85
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 6,971
Wanderer
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Wanderer
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 6,971 |
He searched for the right word
she heard the wrong word
she answered curtly
he declined pertly
she flipped him a bird
NEXT:
Can I do any worse?
Just an Old, Broke-Down, Drunk, Bum!!
With a Power Ring...
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 16,863
Time Trapper
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Time Trapper
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 16,863 |
Can I do any worse?
I spend my time on silly verse
But what the hell
I might as well
Enjoy it, or be in the hearse.
Now to celebrate those Boston accents....
NEXT: A doctor of Physics in Harvard Yard
Holy Cats of Egypt!
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 3,611
Legionnaire!
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Legionnaire!
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 3,611 |
A doctor of Physics in Harvard Yard
Gave his caaah keys to the paahking lot gaahd
When he retuuhned fawh his Foohd
He shrieked, "Oh my Gaawd!
I can't find my Visa ohw MastuhCaahd!"
NEXT:
If I were back home in Mobile. (mo-BEEL')
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 495
Active
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Active
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 495 |
If I were back home in Mobile.
I pray I was global,
around the world i'd rome
everywhere would be home
until i found that precious opal
NEXT
At the country club
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 57,030
strange but not a stranger
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strange but not a stranger
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 57,030 |
At the country club
People will snub
Unless you're rich
In which
Case you'll be the hub.
NEXT:
Help me with my buttons, mother dear
Big Dog! Big Dog! Bow Wow Wow!
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 7,723
Wanderer
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Wanderer
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 7,723 |
Help me with my buttons, mother dear
I just can't reach those in back, I fear
I don't want a scandal
On my date with Randal
Even if he is a wee bit queer.
NEXT:
A frisky young orca came calling
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 3,611
Legionnaire!
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Legionnaire!
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 3,611 |
A frisky young orca came calling
The smell of his breath was apalling
The stench of raw crill
and other sea-kill
Made Red Lobster stock start falling.
NEXT:
If I had been born on Trom
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 16,863
Time Trapper
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Time Trapper
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 16,863 |
If I had been born on Trom
I could have turned water into Dom
Perignon
And chiffon
To velvet scented with lemonbalm.
NEXT: Watching the river roll by
Holy Cats of Egypt!
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 57,030
strange but not a stranger
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strange but not a stranger
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 57,030 |
Watching the river roll by
I let out a dreamy sigh
It's a bummer
that during summer
The days really seem to fly.
NEXT:
I'm going to the opera and ballet
Big Dog! Big Dog! Bow Wow Wow!
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 3,611
Legionnaire!
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Legionnaire!
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 3,611 |
I'm going to the opera and ballet
But that doesn't mean that I'm gay.
Though when the fat lady sings
I'll gather my things
And run off with a dancer named Jay.
NEXT:
While shopping for tools at Home Depot.
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 57,030
strange but not a stranger
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strange but not a stranger
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 57,030 |
While shopping for tools at Home Depot
My car was subject to the men of repo
I couldn't pay my bills
because I was ill
I guess I shouldn't have bought the Peugot
NEXT:
Help me find a rhyme
Big Dog! Big Dog! Bow Wow Wow!
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 7,723
Wanderer
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Wanderer
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 7,723 |
Help me find a rhyme
For the price of one thin dime
Else just for fun
I'll fondle a nun
And end up doing time.
NEXT:
I was shocked by Sister Mary Louise
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 3,611
Legionnaire!
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Legionnaire!
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 3,611 |
I was shocked by Sister Mary Louise
as she soared on the scary trapeze
Her five o'clock shadow
made her look like F. Castro
or those French mimes with hairy goatees.
NEXT:
He said, "To thine own self be true."
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 57,030
strange but not a stranger
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strange but not a stranger
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 57,030 |
He said, "To thine own self be true."
As he made his societal debut
But I concluded
he's self deluded
To think he looks good in ecru.
NEXT:
I've longed to be a lumberjack
Big Dog! Big Dog! Bow Wow Wow!
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 7,723
Wanderer
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Wanderer
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 7,723 |
I've longed to be a lumberjack
And cut the old oak tree out back
But I stay my hand
And spare the land
From my arboreal attack.
NEXT:
He likes to wear a silver thong
(If we've done this one before, let me know and I'll post a different one.)
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 3,611
Legionnaire!
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Legionnaire!
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 3,611 |
He likes to wear a silver thong
And stay out drinking all night long
I'd take him home
let my hands roam
except of course, that would be wrong.
NEXT:
I think we lost his silver thong.
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 57,030
strange but not a stranger
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strange but not a stranger
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 57,030 |
I think we lost his silver thong
Because it attracted a throng
So indulge
his bulge
As it comes on strong
NEXT:
I'm going on a hot air balloon
Big Dog! Big Dog! Bow Wow Wow!
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 7,723
Wanderer
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Wanderer
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 7,723 |
I'm going on a hot air ballon
Yup, it's true, I'm going real soon
I'll ride so high
In the clear blue sky
So I can show the world my rosy moon.
NEXT:
I took the train to Istanbul
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 3,611
Legionnaire!
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Legionnaire!
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 3,611 |
I took the train to Istanbul
and caught a bus there to Kabul
Rode my bike into Tehran
Caught a plane, flew to Milan
Now, I'm home, broke, tired -- a fool.
NEXT:
Come sit with me; I have a secret.
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 22,670
Fabulous and Sparkly!
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Fabulous and Sparkly!
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 22,670 |
Come sit with me; I have a secret.
I heard it from a snowy egret.
He said "D'you know,
That that old crow
Has left his wife for some young eaglet?"
Next up:
Help me please. My tummy hurts.
The only character in all of literature who has been described as "badnass" while using the phrase "vile miscreant."
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 16,863
Time Trapper
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Time Trapper
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 16,863 |
Help me please. My tummy hurts.
I should not have dined at Burt's
In the mood
For greasy food
Now I have my just desserts.
Next: I like to sleep at the Symphony
Holy Cats of Egypt!
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 3,611
Legionnaire!
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Legionnaire!
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 3,611 |
I'd like to sleep at the symphony
It drives all waking desire from me
Through Haydn, I'd snore
Schubert's a bore
And Vivaldi make for dull company.
NEXT:
My best friend at Legion World
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 57,030
strange but not a stranger
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strange but not a stranger
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 57,030 |
My best friend at Legion World
sang and danced and twirled
but at the party
drank too hardy
and what was eaten now was hurled
NEXT:
Now I am back to work
Big Dog! Big Dog! Bow Wow Wow!
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 7,723
Wanderer
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Wanderer
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 7,723 |
Now I am back to work
For that awful midget jerk
He makes me toil
In motor oil
And then calls it a perk.
NEXT:
I like to shave that part of me
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 57,030
strange but not a stranger
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strange but not a stranger
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 57,030 |
I like to shave that part of me
that very few get to see
Alack
I mean my back
What did you think? tee hee
NEXT:
Polly walked to the grocery store
Big Dog! Big Dog! Bow Wow Wow!
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