Legion World Forums LEGION COMPANION Spaceopoly Limericks

It's time to check Yahoo mail
I do it daily without fail
Hoping for a fan letter
or something even better
an invite to an orgy of Roman scale.


NEXT:

Why does Lad Boy make me feel horny?

Why does Lad Boy make me feel horny?
I'd answer that question, but then I'd feel corny.
'Sides, at this time of the day,
In the office! Oy vey!
Such thoughts would make my pants look rather porny.

Next:

That's it! I'm giving up men!

<span style="font-size: 7px;">(corrective comma added)</span>
That's it! I'm giving up, men!
No futile resistance; I'm giving in.
No more being coy.
To Quis, Semi or Lad Boy.
I'm meet them at Shakes around ten.

NEXT:
I never knew Kid Prime was Jewish.

Amazing what a comma can do.

I never knew Kid Prime was Jewish.
To me, he looks more Groo-ish
Evanier's no robot,
Aragones loves Gobots
And that gets Kippers real blueish.

NEXT:
So Quislet sued himself!

So Quislet sued himself
For stealing from the shelf
For his crime
He'll do time
Sharing a cell with an elf.

NEXT:

Don't upset the wig-maker, Harry

Don't upset the wig-maker, Harry
He's making a rug for Halle Berry
One that will make her
look like the Gabor from Green Acres
or a LegionWorld member -- quite scary.

NEXT:
When Quislet went shopping in WalMart

When Quislet went shopping in WalMart
He tried to act dignified & smart
But when bending over
to check the price of clover
Everybody heard his great big fart.


NEXT:

Minesurfer stumbled upon the Gay Pride parade

Minesurfer stumbled upon the Gay Pride parade
And realized the mistakes he had made
He know longer wants Kate
since we've been on a date
And done all that he formerly forbade.

NEXT:
I'm spending a week in Miami (aside: really are there any LW'ers there)

I'm spending a week in Miami
With my 80 year old grammy
I know it's just wrong
But she's bringing her thong
Hoping to snag that old coot Sammy.

NEXT:

That Lad Boy got an all-over tan

That Lad Boy got an all-over tan
has made me his biggest fan
If I say much more
then I am sure
to offend and earn a ban

NEXT:

A young man on a trip to Mardi Gras

A young man on a trip to Mardi Gras
Met young man wearing only a bra
Oh, we're just having fun
I'm dressed as a nun
But I lent the rest of my habit to my pa.

NEXT:

In a leaky boat he sailed out to sea

In a leaky boat he sailed out to sea
To forget about his lost love, Dee.
He sailed far down
To old Provincetown
And hooked up with a guy named Lee.


Next:
I bought myself new leather chaps

In a leaky boat he sailed out to sea.
Confident as any mariner could be.
So he broke out the rum,
Drank until numb,
And was found leaking all over his dinghy.

Sorry but I was on the phone with my dad and couldn't post until I hung up. Since I already had the limerick completed, I didn't want to waste it.

To complete Rocky's line...

I bought myself new leather chaps.
You know the kind without any straps.
They're all that I wear,
See my exposed derrier?
All the better when I'm out shooting craps.

Next...

Tina the stripper tripped on the ramp...

Good use of "derrier"

Tina the stripper tripped on the ramp
Fell off of the stage and over an amp
Surfer was in the right place
her cootch was in his face
And now his trousers are quite damp.

NEXT:

The missionary was in the bad part of town

The missionary was in the bad part of town.
That's where the people needed him around.
So in this position
He executed his mission
To make sure that Katie would soon be unbound.

Next:

A surprising young lad quite chippy...

A surprising young lad quite chippy
Had a gramps who was an old hippy
When the lad gave him sass
Gramps whacked his ass
And said that'll teach you to be lippy.

NEXT

Beware the sword of Damocles

(Damocles rhymes with "please")

Beware the sword of Damocles
It is not meant to appease
It causes stress
and the press
hang it over judical nominees.


NEXT:

I ate some cherry pie

I ate some cherry pie
And finished it with a sigh
It's good for me
Don't you see ...
Even I don't believe that lie.

NEXT

Onward soldiers into the fray

Onward soldiers into the fray
For your safe return, I will pray
work for peace
make war cease
from now until the last day

NEXT:

Starshine was at the protest march

Starshine was at the protest march
the one by Washington Square's Arch
The NYU kids
blew their lids
when skinheads threw rotting starch

NEXT:
Quislet should leave better lines

Quislet should leave better lines.
If he doesn't, there should be fines.
For those of you,
Who sit and stew...
Here's a page... to help with rhymes .

Next (FYI, 'Cork and Cleaver' is a fine restaurant in my hometown)...

I love to eat at the 'Cork and Cleaver'...

Quislet should leave better lines
Although Kent handled that one just fine
Still watch what you write
or there may be a fight
A limerick writer should keep that in mind.

NEXT:

Good night until tomorrow

I love to eat at the 'Cork and Cleaver'
I dine with Ward and the Beaver
Mrs C doesn't like it
and Wally's says "spike it,
and feed the left-overs to a retriever."

Good night until tomorrow
parting is such sweet sorrow
sleep well, my friend
good dreams we'll send
From Morpheus' realm we shall borrow.

NEXT:
Minesurfer and Quislet crossed posts

Minesurfer and Quislet crossed posts...
Yeah, but mine was first. End Limerick.

aside... think of the above Limerick as a Performance Limerick with a Post Modern Twist and a slight disdain for rhyme. Something else else Bizarro would be disappointed in.

Next:

There was an Olympian who threw a javelin...